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Old 09-06-2012, 10:15 AM   #271
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Hey Tanya!

I'm sure the food issue will work itself out eventually, you seem to be handling things quite well considering the circumstances...some people tend to fall off the face of the Earth when this sort of thing happens, but you have shown your sister much love for carrying on and talking about it with us and accepting that she didn't go on to live in pain. Don't be too hard on yourself, you're going to need time to sort through it all and keep things together but you're strong and will make it through and find your way back to it all soon.

It'll be nice to have your BFF around, even if you are crying the whole time, at least you'll have someone to talk to and cry with.

You're in my daily thoughts.
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Old 09-06-2012, 11:36 PM   #272
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I'm not too late to check in for the day! I have been searching through photos this evening. They brought back good memories and some tears. Tomorrow I have to bring Skye to UCSF. She has to go every six months or people yell at me! I really hate going. Traffic is terrible and the parking is a nightmare. Speaking of Skye, our Monday~Thursday nurse is moving out of the area. We only had her for a month. I liked that one. The nursing co. Sent out a lady that I just am not comfortable with. She was very by the book. I'm sorry but this is my home not a hospital, I like a little flexibility. I know we can find the right fit with someone.

Food was better today. No exercise but I ran into my Kickboxing teacher at the store. Does that count ?

Got to get to bed...
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My Journal- Getting Real With Myself
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Old 09-07-2012, 05:23 AM   #273
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Hope you have a safe drive today. Just think, once you get it done with today, you won't have to do it for another 6 months.

The most exercising I get around here is cleaning. Glad you had a better food day.

Talk to you soon.
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Old 09-07-2012, 03:27 PM   #274
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So far the day has been crazy. I finally found some of the older albums that had the pictures of our growing up years. I have been searching like a mad woman for them. I found all these awesome photos of us at our houseboat, church, her HS graduation....I even found pictures of when our parents woke us up after my younger brother was born. They did a home birth. I always tease my Dad who is a CPA that they did that to save money . Anyway, it was really nice to see those happy times.

My BFF met me in SJ and she came with me to Skye's apt. It's nice to have company. I normally do this all by myself. We are sitting waiting in the room. That's what happens at these big teaching hospitals, ALOT of waiting!

Nothing to report on food because I just haven't had the time to eat yet. Hopefully we will get out of here and I won't eat the next cow I see grazing on the Stanford Land off of 280! Bay Area people would know what I'm talking about. I'm hungry!

Tomorrow I'm getting the boys haircut and I have to get appropriate clothes for all of the older guys for my sister's service.

I think they found a solution for Skye's nursing situation. I'll know more next week. Our Friday/Saturday nurse might take the bulk of the hours and then they will try to find someone to fill those hours. I like her and I hope that works out...

Well, I've run out of things to say and we're still waiting! Aaahh!!!
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Old 09-07-2012, 08:57 PM   #275
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That's great you had company to keep conversation with while at the hospital. That's about the time I bust out my Nook and start reading.

Hope you found something good to eat after starving. I'm guilty of doing that also.

Have a great night with you BFF.
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Old 09-07-2012, 11:06 PM   #276
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Well, I didn't eat a cow just a couple of pieces of pizza! I just got home. We didn't get out of the GI apt until after 4:30. And then we went to my parents house. I'm so tired. Off to bed I go. Goodnight!

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Old 09-08-2012, 08:55 AM   #277
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Hi Tanya,

It was good for me to read about what's been going on with you!!!

Glad you had company for the appointment and that you may have a solution for the nursing quandry. I've been hoping that would work out for you.

How wonderful that you found those special happy moment pictures. I find looking at old photos so fun and relaxing too to remember (most) of the celebrations and good times we've had. In fact, I'm doing the same thing today, going through old pics. I'll be thinking of you while I do it.

You sound good, my friend. I look forward to hearing more about what is going on with your life, as always.

Take care, Tanya!!

Hugs, Jenna
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Old 09-09-2012, 02:01 PM   #278
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Mmmm...pizza.

Hope you're having a good weekend with the BFF.

Thinking about ya, take care hun.

Last edited by kare30bear; 09-09-2012 at 02:02 PM.. Reason: posted too soon.
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Old 09-10-2012, 09:49 AM   #279
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Tanya,

Hello friend! Just wanted to check in and see how you are this Monday morning. Have been thinking about you too---wishing that things are well.

Talk to you soon,

Hugs---Jenna
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Old 09-10-2012, 10:40 AM   #280
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Bet you are super busy, just stopping over to say hello Tanya!
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Old 09-10-2012, 11:46 PM   #281
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Hi Ladies,

I am back. I've been sooo busy. Sorry it took me so long to post. My sister's viewing and memorial was yesterday and today was the service. I had to rush home grab little guy from school and go coach his soccer practice!

Little guy asked me what is that black under your eye? I looked at DS14 to see if it was makeup and he said "No Mom your under eyes are just tired". Great! I'm not going to work this week. I have to clean and my laundry is out of control.

My husband last night turned on a song called Clouds by Montgomery-Gentry. He thought it was a fitting song for my sis. It made me cry but it's been playing over and over in my head today.

I almost got into it with my younger brother today. He made some snide comments to me but when he started in on my mom...Things got a little tense. I'm so sick of his self centered behavior. We're all suppose to tiptoe around him. Because you know, he's the ONLY one hurting! I'm just not going to be around him for awhile.

Thanks for checking in on me. You're good friends . I'll catch up with your journals tomorrow. Goodnight.
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Old 09-11-2012, 05:36 AM   #282
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I'm so sorry to hear about your sister's passing, Tanya, and about your brother's poor behavior!! Take care of yourself.
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Old 09-11-2012, 03:11 PM   #283
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I'll have to check out that song, I'm constantly switching radio stations depending on my moods....if I am sad I avoid country.

Kids point out our little imperfections and it can hurt sometimes. My younger ones like to ask about my acne when I break out really bad (like now). You've probably been so tired from everything going on and crying....you're still beautiful Tanya!

I'm sorry your brother is acting like a jerk. I'm not sure if that's his usual character or not, I remember you saying something about him before, so hopefully keeping your distance helps for now. It sucks when you really need your family to come together at a time like this and he turns around and makes it worse.

Take care. Talk to you soon.
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Old 09-11-2012, 03:23 PM   #284
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Hi Tanya,

Sounds like you have had quite the past few days. I hope things get more peaceful for you soon.

Sorry that your bro is acting like a jerk. I think that it's a good move for you not to be around him for a bit. It's true that you ALL are hurting and he needs to understand that.

I hope today is a better day. Get some rest and take care of yourself, my dear!

Hugs, Jenna
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Old 09-11-2012, 11:07 PM   #285
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I've been thinking about my lack of a "diet" right now. While I love JUDDD I think it's too loose of a plan for me at this time. I am out of control and I need to have a more disciplined WOE right now. So what to do? I will be thinking on it and reporting back when I come up with something that will work (I hope).

DS 17 took his senior pictures today. He looked so handsome. They did it at a horse ranch. I'll post some when we get them.

I've got to get to sleep. Goodnight everyone...
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Old 09-12-2012, 07:34 AM   #286
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How creative of an idea for senior pics...I bet they look wonderful.

Hope you get the eating plan figured out. Food has such a big influence on our daily lives, I think most (if not all) people struggle with it daily in some way or another. I have faith that you will find your way.

Have a good day Tanya!
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Old 09-12-2012, 09:40 AM   #287
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Hi Tanya,

We will all figure out what we need to do with our eating, but it is tough doing the planning part. I am also in the same position, where I need a pretty disciplined schedule to get me back on track. I am not sure what that will be, but I am going to put some thought into it. Good luck. We'll look forward to hearing about what you decide!

Those pics sound like so much fun. Can't WAIT to see them. I must say that it brings back memories for me, the horse ranch part, because I had my senior pics done with my horse. I still have them somewhere---my mother has an actual poster that we had made for her of the same picture...

Have a great day, Tanya!!! Talk to ya later.

Hugs, Jenna
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Old 09-12-2012, 10:02 PM   #288
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Hi All,

I got some work around the house done and I did a ton of laundry. I stilll have to fold it all. That will take me some time. Never ever ending laundry!!! I also did paper work and made calls. I feel so accomplished .

I got to see my son's photos! I know he's my boy but they turned out freeking amazing!!!
Jenna- There is actually a horse in a couple of them. DS was leaning against a fence and one of the horses walked up and posed with him .

My brother is such a jack@#*. Not only did we get into it the day of my sister's funeral but then that night he called my mom, made her cry, she hung up on him and then had to turn off her phone. Selfish spoiled little boy. Who the heck does that? I swear if I was a guy...

I coached soccer practice today. Six seven year old boys is too much for me! They are out of control! Bouncing and tumbling around. No attention span at all. It's been some time since I've coached. for me, I don't think I'm going to make the season .

I ate less today. I was just busy and not as hungry. Still working on the plan. It will have to be strict for a while. I'll get there. Today TOM arrived. So I think some of the weight gain can be safely blamed on him .

I'll check in tomorrow.

Good night.
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Old 09-13-2012, 03:25 AM   #289
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WOW! Good luck with soccer coaching!! Sounds like herding cats!

Sorry to hear your brother is still being a jerk!!! I hope he wises up soon.

Glad to hear your son's pics came out well! It's a bittersweet experience, isn't it?? Have a great day!
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Old 09-13-2012, 08:34 AM   #290
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You sure are busy. I bet it helps take your mind off of some things sometimes.

Can't wait to see the pics of your DS. I wish I would have done more creative senior pics when I was in school, sounds so fun.

Funny that you mention your brother being a jerk towards your mom bc mine did the same thing to my mom. He's the baby in the family and sure does act like one too. Some never grow up and learn. You can tell a lot about a "man" by how he treats his mother right!?! Your poor mom doesn't need to deal with his BS, it's unfortunate she has to put up with that type of behavior from her own child, especially right now. I hope he changes his attitude for your family's sake, if not, he's missing out.

Hope TOM goes easy on you. Funny how you mentioned not being hungry and TOm is in the building, it's usually opposite for me.

I could not even imagine dealing with all those boys. You have some strength girlfriend.

Have a good day Tanya!
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Old 09-13-2012, 10:41 PM   #291
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Hello Everyone,

Had a decent day. I went into work. I know I said I was taking the week off but I needed to help finish the applications we were working on. I was brought into the office a month ago to help process free lunch apps. There were thousands for the whole school district. Next week I'm subbing at the middle school for a position that's opening up. The head boss asked if I was interested in applying for it! She brought it up. I did talk to DH about it and I am going to apply. There is one other lady who has more seniority than me so we will see. The shift is perfect though 9-1.

Eating is slowly getting better. I'm not pushing myself right now. With PMS and the slight depression I'm going through. I just need to push my way through and not add too much to my plate.

We're having some issues with our youngest. He's very immature for his age (7) and socially he just does not relate well to his peers. It hurts me to see him with other kids his age. He just really has no interest in them and I think his peers just think that he's weird. I'm looking into what we can do for him. There is some history to all this. He was in a speech program from age 3 till the end of last year. So I think when he was learning how to talk all the kids his age who already knew how to talk were learning how to socialize and make friends. It's like he is constantly two steps behind. And the school keeps harping on how well he is doing academically. Ya,I know! That's not the problem. Wow, that went a little too long! Sorry .

Better get going. Goodnight...
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Old 09-14-2012, 08:42 AM   #292
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Good luck with the job.

Lessening the stress as much as possible sounds like a good idea. TOM especially brings me down big time, hope it leaves soon.

It's so tough being a kid. You're doing a great job with him, hope it gets better for him soon.
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Old 09-14-2012, 07:09 PM   #293
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Hi Tanya,

You'll have to let us know what pans out with the new job opportunity. It sounds like a good fit for you from what you've said.

I can understand a bit of what you are saying about your son. Mine also does not relate well to his peers. He only has like 3 friends, including his 2 cousins that he doesn't see that often. We all worry about it, but he seems pretty content for the time being. I just try to always get him in scenarios that he will be in contact with other kids his age outside of just school (like sports lessons and church). When I was my DS's age (8), I only had like one friend. I still only have a very small close group of friends. Good luck with this challenge.

I hope you are feeling better. It's no wonder with the PMS issue and everything that you've been through lately that you have some depression. Take good care of yourself. I'm sure the eating will work itself out.

Have a great night, Tanya.

Hugs, Jenna
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Old 09-14-2012, 09:47 PM   #294
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Hi Guys,

Thanks for the words of wisdom. Sometimes hearing someone elses point of view can help.

I had one of the worst days ever! Skye had school off today so I had asked the nursing agency to please send the nurse at eight. When she didn't show (very unusual for her) I called the agency and found out they never called her . My DS14 baby sat Skye (he only had music at school today). I walk out to the driveway to leave and there is no car! My husband took my car because his commuter car was making him nervous. DS17 took our SUV because he had no gas in his truck. I was annoyed that I was going to have to stop for gas but then realized that I no longer had a key to the truck BECAUSE my DS17 has this habit of taking keys off the key rings and then losing them. I have nagged him about this... So I had to take the piece of junk commuter car to drop little guy off at school and get me to work. When I drove home the cars blinkers,fan and window wouldn't work . I was boiling (lack of air) by the time I got home. I was not a happy Mama! To top it all off the nursing agency called to tell me that we have no nursing coverage Monday-Thursday. Our other nurse will not be taking the other hours. So I'm not sure what's going to happen now. They're in the process of hiring two new nurses but that takes a while and they might not work out either. AHHHH . Wait theres MORE! When I picked up Little Guy his teacher told me he had a really bad day. That's an understatement! I guess the principal had to come talk to him and calm him down. He has never gotten in trouble like that before. I had a feeling this was coming though. I definitely stress ate today.
I'm going to bed and I'm going to forget that this day ever happened!

Tomorrow we have a soccer game. Wish us luck!
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Old 09-14-2012, 10:03 PM   #295
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Oh my goodness Tanya, your day sounded like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. I am so sorry that all that happened in one day. I certainly have been there, when not only does nothing go right...it all just goes down and more downhill and it really builds up. I hope you are getting some good sleep tonight and have a better day tomorrow.

Good luck to you and your team at the soccer game! GO team GO!
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Old 09-15-2012, 04:38 AM   #296
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OH NO. That is terrible. I'm so sorry to hear it! I hope DS is ok. And I hope the nurse situation gets worked out soon!!!
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Old 09-15-2012, 02:21 PM   #297
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Hi Tanya,

I am so sorry that you had such a hellish day. Hopefully you'll have some time to recover this weekend.

Also I hope things get straightened out with your nursing situation. I can't imagine how stressful that would be. You'll have to keep us updated.

GO SOCCER TEAM TODAY! We'll look forward to hearing all about it.

Have a great Saturday!

Hugs, Jenna
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Old 09-15-2012, 07:31 PM   #298
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We had a great soccer game! My boys did really well and still had their U-8 hilarious moments. They all had fun so that's what matters.
I had to rush home and make a dish for the barbecue we have with 4h at the Santa Cruz Fair. I'm soooo glad my boys didn't have animals for that one! Things were just way to busy and crazy lately.

I think I'm just going to relax tonight and then have a major cleaning day tomorrow. The guys won't like that but it's mostly their mess! So too bad .

I'll check in tomorrrow
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Old 09-15-2012, 07:42 PM   #299
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Guess I should post something about food since this is a WOE forum. I've decided to low carb to get my carb cravings under control and then move back to JUDDD. I will start on Tuesday. I never start on a Monday. Bad juju, you know how everyone starts on a Monday and fail by Friday. Have to get this body of mine back under control!
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Old 09-16-2012, 09:53 AM   #300
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Oh it's so true, and yet I seem to fall for the Monday starts still. I think that's a good plan.

Hope you get your house cleaned well. I know when my house is cleaned I feel less stressed and able to move onto focusing to other things around me....make those boys work.
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