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Old 02-09-2014, 05:43 AM   #1231
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Happy Sunday!!

And the scale is NOT being nice to me right now and I'm not sure what to do about it.

Should never have allowed date night to interrupt my weight loss. I can enjoy date night without eating stuff I know will bloat me or stall my loss. But I always cave to my hubby's wishes to enjoy everything.

Granted I know that in the scheme of things.....if God forbid he ever passed away.... do I want to say I worried about my weight/diet or that I enjoyed lots of date nights with him freely and fully??!!

Still doesn't change the fact that my appointment is in 11 days and the best I can hope for is a very small gain instead of a large one.

I hate being on the Endo's schedule of what HE thinks I should be losing.

Okay rant over... time to move on..... I'm not doing the 2nd week for Katahn I'm going back to regular daily rotations. I just can't handle the stress of worrying about daily low calories trying to meet someone else's schedule for me.

If I stick to my own I can still make my goal for my b'day and trip this summer.

If I stress and push myself continuously off the wagon from too much pressure and expectations...... then I'll just spin my wheels or even gain weight instead.

I know my history and it's time to stop repeating it.
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Old 02-09-2014, 08:18 AM   #1232
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Yes, there is a fine line between living life and staying on plan....I've made a couple of choices this weekend that although low carb would have been best skipped...it gets so tiring sometimes....

Scale is down a tiny bit....I imagine in the back of my head that the slow moving scale is the reason it's easier to make less than great choices.

I don't have today's meals planned yet....I have a new chicken recipe that I was going to make yesterday but didn't get to it so maybe I'll make that today.

I would think that an endo would be a little more understanding that your body doesn't always work on the schedule that he sets. I don't like setting weight loss goals because I really believe it sets me up for failure and that in turn sets me up for making poor choices....we have become too tied to that number on the scale rather than how we feel and how our clothes fit. I know for a fact that eating low carb/higher fat helps me feel better, keeps the swelling down, etc. and I tell myself that there is so much healing that needs to take place on the inside before I can see a drop in the number....this obsession with weight and fitness in our society has robbed us of the joy of some of the parts of our lives....sorry for rambling but I'm just sad that life has come to this sometimes.

I just want to enjoy my life without the worry of every single number/bite/type of food....this has been an emotionally rough week for me and I need to find a way to merge everything to make things better.....I need to learn how to let go of the anger, the feelings of loss and so on.....and I just don't know how to do it.
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Old 02-09-2014, 09:47 AM   #1233
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I hear ya on emotionally draining. Although we have a ton more stuff going on behind the scenes... the main stuff is the work related issues.

He has he retirement classes all next week. He's sitting at the table right now going over papers he needs and realizing that he's missing a certificate that proves training from back in the beginning of his career. It's also missing from his work records. So he's freaking about that right now.

I feel like I'm going to start falling apart any minute but I'm trying to hold it together because he doesn't need to deal with my emotions right now. He needs to focus on his paperwork so nothing falls between the cracks.

He has had a really awesome job offer that keeps us here but he's having trouble allowing himself to think that anyone could possibly want him. And that adds to my emotions as well. Why can't he see how much potential he has.

Ugh... anyway... and that's just the job... won't even go into other family issues that make it sooo much harder to deal with everything else.
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Old 02-09-2014, 11:52 AM   #1234
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I know what you're going through with the job stuff....we dealt with it 10 years ago...it will work out....hard to deal with it while it's happening, though...

I did find out today that my friend that was just diagnosed with breast cancer is doing well....she had a lumpectomy, cancer is stage one and confined to the lump....all clear in the surrounding areas as well as the lymph nodes....she will have to have some radiation and take a chemo pill once a day for 5 years...it shouldn't interfere with any of her heart meds or other health issues....I'm so relieved about that!

Talked with DH after I posted earlier....I'm just feeling so off lately. I feel like I've been cheated out of life the last few years with all the Mom stuff, with the side effects of meds, the lack of support from my siblings....I could go on and on...I told him that my online friends are better support than what I get in real life. I hate to always dump all this on him and I'm so grateful for the people I have met online when I feel this way. I'm sure I'll feel better in a few days...

Part of it is looking for foods and ideas for recipes that will work for me and I've seen a few too many cauliflower recipes....LOL! I'm sick of cauliflower and I'm sick of recipes saying it tastes just like potatoes...no it doesn't! Maybe I should just have a potato and get over it!
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Old 02-09-2014, 12:23 PM   #1235
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Glad your friend is doing well.

I had to laugh about the cauliflower. Nope it doesn't taste anything like it.

I guess in a sense I'm "lucky" that I've developed an allergy to white potatoes.

I mean I like sweet potatoes but I don't crave them like I do white potatoes.

After a while I just accepted that I can't have them unless I'm willing to deal with the skin breakout afterward.

Sometimes I'll cave anyway but it has become more of a rare occurrence these days.

Maybe try the combo of cauliflower and turnips or cauliflower and parsnips. Some people find that those combos work better to get them the right "mouth feel/taste".

I completely understand about the online friends sometimes being easier to talk to. I really hate dumping on my hubby all the time because I know that he has enough stress to deal with on his own.

It's kind of funny because although I've kept some IRL friends through the net when we moved. I've made some online friends that eventually became IRL friends because they either moved here for a little while or it turned out they didn't live all that far away.

The net definitely makes the world a small place sometimes.
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Old 02-09-2014, 02:40 PM   #1236
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I really don't miss potatoes often and I do have a recipe to make potato skins that are low carbish so maybe I'll make those....I've had the potatoes to do it for at least a week so obviously the potatoes aren't calling my name to eat them! LOL!

I guess I'm just feeling out of sorts the last few days and want it to go away! We had plans for going out to eat on Tuesday evening with Kayli but she had to cancel because she had forgotten about plans with a friend from school....we'll try to do something next week, I guess. It's kind of hard for me sometimes because we don't have the kind of connection we would have had if she had been in our lives since she was born and I'm sad about that....we do have a good relationship and I shouldn't complain or feel bad but I wish it was more like what I had with my Grandmas...maybe someday...I know it takes time and I know it only makes me sad right now because everything else is making me sad. I'm so blessed to have her back in our lives and she is a delightful girl that is busy with her teenage life which makes me happy, too!
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Old 02-09-2014, 08:28 PM   #1237
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DS came over for a visit tonight....feeling better after spending time with him....we had a lot of good conversation about all kinds of things. I'm so glad he has his own house now and I'm not moping around since he moved but I have missed our conversations. Talked a lot about diet...he's doing good....he's lost 15 lbs. in a month! He joined a gym with a friend and they go almost daily plus he does a bit extra on his own at home. He's making food that is mostly low carb....he said he has times when he eats off plan but not often and he keeps the portions small. I'm very proud of him and happy for him. He also told me my niece has gestational diabetes...he's going to see her tomorrow and I told him to tell her to talk to me if she wants about low carb...obviously she can't do really low carb during her pregnancy but I'd like to talk to her about eating whole foods and cutting grains and sugar. She is overweight to begin with...she has the poor eating habits of my in-law's side of the family. I hope she's open to some suggestions.
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Old 02-10-2014, 04:40 AM   #1238
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Happy Monday!!

Glad you got some time with DS. Sorry about your niece having gestational diabetes. Hopefully she'll get some help. Low carb isn't harmful during pregnancy as long as it's not what we traditionally think of as low carb. She'd probably want to aim closer to 100 and even up to 150 if they don't affect her sugar. There's also the "where the carbs come from" aspect. The better the carbs the better she'll feel and the more stable her blood sugar will be.

I spent my first pregnancy eating what ever my body would let me. It was crazy because there were only two things I didn't throw up. Chinese food and starburst jelly beans.

However the weight gain was so severe that during my second pregnancy I swore I wouldn't go off my WOE and stuck to it. I personally was okay going super low carb and don't believe in the whole "ketones are bad for the baby". Just think about the women who can't hold on to anything for the whole pregnancy like I had trouble with for my first. They are often in ketosis without even realizing it.

What I did because I knew they would fuss at me at the doctor's office was make sure 2 days before my appointments I would knock myself out of ketosis. That pregnancy was much healthier, only 1/3rd of the weight gain, and the only issue I had physically was too much elastin which eventually put me on bed rest.

Again I wouldn't recommend that for anyone and only reason I was comfortable with it was because I'd been doing LC off and on for 13yrs by that point.

Now if I were to get pregnant again I would probably follow a Primal/Paleo way of eating and get my carb cravings taken care of with white rice and sweet potatoes.

Anyway, sorry about that ramble....

I'm so nervous about DH's first day. He had trouble sleeping last night and I had to talk to him to get him to relax until almost 3am. Only for him to get up at 5:30. Gonna be a long day for both of us.

I completely forgot to weigh this morning with everything going on. But it was probably a subconscious decision not to face the music just yet. Let me get a decent down day under my belt and I'll face reality tomorrow.
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Old 02-10-2014, 06:26 AM   #1239
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Good Morning! I also forgot to weigh before breakfast....I might hop on just to see anyways.

I told DS pretty much the same thing about lc for my niece...she doesn't have to do super low but at least get rid of sugar and grains...she could still do rice and potatoes but not as often. I don't know what kind of food she really likes....her DH is Mexican and I think he does a lot of the cooking. I'm sure he'd adjust whatever needs it in order for her and the baby to be healthy. I really hope she will talk to me about it...I'll see her in a couple of weeks at her baby shower so I may try to talk to her then if she doesn't contact me before. I worry about her because she's always had a weight problem and I don't want this to continue all her life..

Better get going...have to wake DH and go to Mom's...then we're going to DS's house and then out to lunch! Poor DH is only going to have 3 hours of sleep so I hope to convince him to nap later....
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Old 02-11-2014, 05:21 AM   #1240
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Happy Tuesday!!

I finally weighed and faced the music... It is what it is. I'll strive to be the same weight at my appointment that I was at my last. He'll still give me heck for it but it's better than a gain.

Once that weigh in is done I plan on getting rid of the scale and going by inches only. I would like to fit a certain size.. not weight.. when I go south for visiting. So, inches is what matters... Not numbers on a scale.

Haven't done yoga in a few days. Been feeling sorry for myself. Time to get back into the groove again.
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Old 02-11-2014, 06:55 AM   #1241
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Good Morning! I haven't gotten on the scale yet today....will do that in a few minutes. Have a busy day ahead...need to go to the store to get supplies for Mom, Post Office to mail DS's passport form (he's going on a cruise in April), then to Mom's to wait for the DirecTV guy. DS started a business that provides services and he can get a good price for Mom so we're switching her from cable to DirecTV...the guy will come between noon and 4 p.m. Taking my laptop and kindle!

Not sure about food yet....may try to go out for dinner since I won't be home to cook. Will dig up some leftovers to take for lunch at Mom's. Need to get some breakfast before I leave.

I would love to get rid of the scale! Maybe I'll go back to weighing only once a week...I need to learn patience...

It's below zero again....snow predicted off and on all week....I am so ready for summer!
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Old 02-12-2014, 04:17 AM   #1242
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Happy Wednesday!!

Hope it warms up for all of us soon. {{brrrr}}

I don't even need summer... Just something above 20 would be nice.

Scale is coming down for me slowly. As long as I don't slip up I may quite possibly have a 4 or 5lb loss. I'm sure I'll still hear something because it's been either July or August since my last visit. But hey... at least I won't have a gain.

I'm holding off serious weight lifting until after the appointment because I don't want fluid retention to throw off the weigh in. After that it's game on. I"ll have 20wks from that point until my b'day and trip. I can do some serious reshaping of the ole bod in that amount of time.

Plenty of time to get over the initial gain, etc that comes with building muscle. Although I am planning on getting rid of that scale so I guess I won't know if I'm gaining. I'll only know when my clothes get loose.
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Old 02-12-2014, 07:35 AM   #1243
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Good Morning! Scale is up again...what the heck?! I guess my body just doesn't want to let go....will keep plugging along...

Have to go to town today to cancel Mom's cable....couldn't do it over the phone...have to bring in my power of attorney papers...ugh....I understand why but it's a waste of a couple of hours....maybe I can get DH to go with me and we can stop for lunch if we have time...he works today so we'll see...

Not much else going on...the usual frustration of not losing, the frustration of not being able to do the workouts I want....will try to get to some Wii stuff today but not sure I will be able to. Have to go to my cousin's to pick up some paint (he is a chemist at a paint factory and I can get it through him...cheap!)...he lives about 20 minutes away in the other direction so my day will be spent on the road!
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Old 02-13-2014, 04:54 AM   #1244
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Happy Thursday!!

Lots and Lots of

Hope the scale comes back down for you today.

Mine is gradually moving in the right direction again. After the huge set back of last weekend I'm honestly nervous about this coming weekend. Hope the weather stays nice as predicted because we REALLY need to get out of the house for a while.
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Old 02-13-2014, 05:15 AM   #1245
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Well, scale is still up....no idea what's going....will not let this get me down....

Have to go to Mom's after lunch so Stepfather can go to the dr. After that I'm going to stop at the spice store and get a couple of things. Might stop at the grocery store, too...have a craving for steak. With it just being me and DH now I can splurge a little more often when I want one.
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Old 02-14-2014, 06:42 AM   #1246
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Happy Valentine's Day!

Scale is the same Not sure what I want to do about it. Not sure exactly what to do about it.

Going for a massage in a little bit....maybe a movie with DH when I'm done....we'll see how the timing is....he would have to drive into town and meet me at the movies unless he wants to go to a later showing. He's off this weekend so we can make it a Valentine's weekend! LOL! We'll probably just do the same stuff we always do!
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Old 02-14-2014, 07:11 AM   #1247
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Happy Valentine's!!

Sorry the scale isn't cooperating.

I'm up a bit today myself. I was swollen this morning as well so I'm going to just accept it and move on.

Not much else going on here. Just school, housework, and getting ready for our family date night.

Hubby and I will have our official Valentine's Date tomorrow after we've had a day to rest up.
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Old 02-15-2014, 05:29 AM   #1248
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Happy Saturday!!

Hope you had a nice night with your sweetie.

I fully expected to have the scale jump up today but it actually dropped.

Hope it continues till my appointment on Thursday.

And that it at least breaks even or gives me a teeny tiny loss.

After that I can just focus on building my strength back up and getting ready for summer.
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Old 02-15-2014, 06:26 AM   #1249
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Good Morning! Well, the day didn't go as planned yesterday....I had breakfast and it didn't agree with me...almost had to reschedule massage...but I went and got the massage...he is working on my arm/shoulder to get my range of motion back. He also worked extra on my right leg which I've been having problems with since my knee surgery (speaking of that...it was 4 years ago today that I had the surgery)...it hurt a lot but I know that once we get my muscles released it will be better.

Got home and decided to make soup for lunch. We put in a dvd to watch and I got really tired so we stopped it so I could take a nap and DH went and worked in the basement...he's cutting the baseboards to fit the 2 small rooms...will be painting them today. I didn't feel well when I woke up so he made his own dinner and we watched the Olympics and the rest of the dvd so we can mail it back. I ended up having a tomato and mozzarella salad around 10 p.m. We went in the hot tub before bed...it was very nice! Hot water and cold air is a good combo for me!

DS is coming over around noon to pick up some stuff and drop off some stuff....I'll make the poppers I had planned on making yesterday and I'll make some spaghetti squash...I also want to get meatballs made today. Besides that it's all the usual chores...

We're going to Kayli's choir concert tonight....bringing my kindle because we have to get there so early to get a decent seat.
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Old 02-16-2014, 06:12 AM   #1250
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Happy Sunday!!

Bouncie Bouncie and the scale is back up.

I give... I'm not going to go in with a maintain or a loss. Dang Valentine's... and V'day sales.

But that's okay... As long as I have a weekly trend down and it's on schedule for this summer... The Endo can just go jump.

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Old 02-17-2014, 07:36 AM   #1251
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Waving hi! Scale is down a smidge....I'll take it....still not sure why the bounce up happened but this is driving me nuts.

I don't have food planned for today yet. Something with ground beef for lunch...burger patties, maybe. Tonight it's just me so I'll have a salad or something light.

We are going to visit friends on the other side of the state on Friday...an overnight visit...they sort of do low carb and she said she's making Mexican chicken for dinner...not quite sure what it is but she knows I'm not doing grains. I need to make some egg salad and maybe some gf pancakes or bread to take along for breakfast. We'll leave their place around noon on Sat. and head to a hotel about an hour away from them. We have a military dinner to go to that night (saw the menu and I should be ok)....I'll need breakfast stuff at the hotel, too. They have the usual free breakfast of carb overload at the hotel so I need to be prepared.

I want to start doing my yoga dvd this week. Have to get the guest bedroom cleaned up so I can do it in there...can't kneel on the floor but I can modify the floor stuff on the bed. I also need to get more consistent with the rebounder. I just wonder where my motivation went....I used to work out consistently even when I didn't feel like it and now I just blow it off if I have the slightest excuse.

Off to shower and get dressed....have to go to Mom's after lunch....we're supposed to get more snow today...ugh! So sick of winter and being cold all the time.
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Old 02-17-2014, 07:54 AM   #1252
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Happy Monday!!

Scale is still up for me. I ate healthy so it's not because I was eating bad stuff.

Today started out okay until the hubby came home with a surprise coffee. That will be the only thing "off plan". It's off plan because it's not included in the beginning of AIP. Otherwise the day will be fine and on plan. No biggie.

I'll just consider this a transition day and will be fully on plan tomorrow. Going to the grocery store to pick everything up for my breakfast skillets and healthy dinners that will become healthy lunches.

Really looking forward to that chili tonight. Hope it's as good at it sounds and looks.

Other than that we begin our workout program this week. Lots of movement for the whole family. Some strength training as well. I'm so excited and so very glad to see that I seem to have enough energy to do it. I still have my joint pain but it's not as bad.

I have about 21wks... give or take a couple days... till our trip south. I have every hope that we'll meet all of our personal goals by then. Plenty of time as long as we stay on track and so far we are.
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Old 02-18-2014, 04:32 AM   #1253
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Happy Tuesday!!

Going to be hard on this Tuesday that feels like a Monday. blech

Didn't get around to the chili last night because we were out shopping too late. Juggled the meals for the week and will be making the chili tonight.

Scale is slowly coming back down in spite of some massive swelling from last nights sodium.

I will have a gain when I go to the docs on Thursday. So, now I'm just trying to minimize that gain as much as possible.

I'm also trying to remind myself that from my holiday high I've lost 12lbs and that's nothing to be ashamed of.

Yes I'm up from the last time I saw him 7 months ago but jeez... it'll only be 4lbs at the most......

I need to give myself a break and maybe kick him in the shins if he gives me a problem.

Now as far and my current weight loss goal/schedule.... I'm pretty sure if I can get this swelling down I'll still be right on schedule and therefore doing awesome.
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Old 02-18-2014, 04:42 AM   #1254
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Good Morning! The snow plow is going by...not sure how much snow we got this time...I'll find out when I leave this morning....meeting with Mom's RN today.

I'm sitting here doing some oil pulling....started back to it a few days ago.

I also finally found the channel that has the Olympics hockey on...that's DH's favorite and I'm recording for him.

Not sure what we'll be eating today...probably burger patties if I get back in time to make them for lunch. Something simple for me tonight since DH will be working.

Lots of chores to get done today since I slacked yesterday. Kayli is coming over tomorrow and I don't want the house to look like a sty.

Scale is down a bit more....I'm thinking the bounce up was due to the Aleve I was taking last week. Will have to find a different way to deal with pain...need to go through my supplements to see what I have.

I had planned to do the yoga dvd yesterday but didn't get to it so I'll do it today when DH goes to work. I really need to do something.....

If your endo complains, imagine me kicking him with you! LOL!
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Old 02-19-2014, 05:10 AM   #1255
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Happy Wednesday!!

I've been doing the oil pulling as well.

I'm also drinking a couple teaspoons of ACV over the course of the day.

What's weird is that now that nightshade seasonings are out I didn't have my usual "sodium swelling". And I had a ton of sodium yesterday. I'm wondering if it was actually the nightshades doing it.

Scale is down a smidge today. I'm still working on that last mess up so it's not in new territory just yet. I have hope that it will continue though.

I forced myself to eat as much as possible yesterday just to see how being on AIP and eating a lot of calories would affect the scale and obviously it won't make it jump up like I was expecting. So, this was needed. I have 30 days before I slowly start adding stuff back in. That's if I want to. I may feel so great that I won't want to change anything.

Today is rest day for exercise.

And I'm going to just listen to my gut this time and not force the cals high. I already feel full and I just woke up. So, it'll probably be lunch before I'm hungry.
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Old 02-19-2014, 07:57 AM   #1256
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Good Morning! Wow, maybe it was the nightshade seasonings....good that you see the connection!

We are going out to eat with Kayli tonight...not sure where yet. Lunch will be burger patties and either salad or veggies. I didn't plan well with food again and will have to go drop off some food at DS's house since we'll be gone the weekend. I have stuff that will spoil and no time to eat it! DS will be glad to get it, I'm sure!

Still haven't done the yoga...too many aches and pains and it worries me to do anything because I don't want to aggravate or make things worse. I hate feeling like this!

Scale is back to the lowest again....I really think it must have been the Aleve that bumped it up. I haven't changed anything else. So now I need to look at alternative pain relief...would be nice to get rid of the pain altogether.

I need to find the paper that has my next dr. appt. on it so I know how much time I have....I think it's about a month from now....would love to drop 5 more lbs if I can. This weekend won't help that cause because we'll be out of town with very little control of food.

I'm working on trying to be more positive all the time instead of falling into the negative mindset I am prone to falling into. I'm working on letting go of anger and disappointment with my siblings, with Stepfather and with Mom's condition....I need to find the positives and accept that things can't be the way I want them to be. It's hard but for my own well being I need to do it.
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Old 02-20-2014, 04:28 AM   #1257
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I think I spoke too soon.

Not only am I swollen today but I am up so much on the scale that instead of a couple pounds gain I'll be up 12 according to the doctors scale today.

Why the heck my body decided to bloat like a fish I have NO CLUE.... oh well.... I'm preparing for a miserable appointment.

Wish me luck... that I don't cry in front of him.
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Old 02-20-2014, 07:54 AM   #1258
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I'm sorry the scale bounced up....lots of hugs....hope your appt. isn't horrible. I still think as an endo he should have more compassion for your issues. He should know that the human body doesn't always work on a schedule set by drs. or even by each individual. This is why I don't like to set weight loss goals. I think that doing that is just begging for disappointment....I also think that too many times people set a goal weight that just isn't right for their body....would I like to weigh 130 lbs....of course!! Will I ever weigh that...no, I won't. I have to be realistic and work toward being as healthy as I can be no matter where I end up. Many years ago I set a weight goal of 145 lbs. and I lost to 155 lbs....I looked great but because it wasn't the number that I chose I was never satisfied. And because back then I didn't fully understand the connection between food, health, diet and fitness I ended up gaining it all back...plus a lot more.

We had Kayli over last night.....decided to just order pizza and eat at home rather than go out. My stomach was bothering me a bit and I knew if we went out I'd end up ordering food that would be way worse than having pizza toppings. I knew that I'd bounce up a bit (about half a lb) and I'm ok with that. Had some fun Skyping with DS2 and Ruthie.....I love that Ruthie is so excited to see Kayli...she was so happy she looked like she would explode! They spent quite a bit of time making faces at each other! Then DS got in on the face making, too...it was fun to watch them all!

Today I need to make some egg salad to bring along as back up this weekend. I'm also going to make some coconut flour pancakes to use as bread or wraps. We're meeting my sister about 2 hours from here for lunch....she lives about 40 minutes from where we're meeting. It's just under halfway to our final destination...haven't seen her since Christmas so it will be a nice break from the road.
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Old 02-21-2014, 04:22 AM   #1259
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Well, not sure yet if we're leaving today...the weather was bad yesterday and we're going to see what it's like when it's time to leave before we decide. Our friend called and said that 9 inches of show was expected overnight but if the roads are clear by about 9:30 a.m. we'll go. If not, we'll go tomorrow and see our friends on Sunday for lunch instead.

I decided not to make food to bring along....I should be able to manage without bringing anything. The only thing that is a concern is breakfast both mornings and I will figure out something.

Scale is back down this morning....now to see what travel does to me this time. I have leftover roast beef and a cucumber salad from yesterday that will be my breakfast this morning. If we go today we're meeting my sister at Buffalo Wild Wings so I'll have wings. My friend is making chicken tonight....if we don't go, I'll see what's in the freezer that I can make for dinner.
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Old 02-21-2014, 04:39 AM   #1260
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Happy Friday!!

Hope your schedule doesn't get messed up too much this weekend. And that you have fun!!

Scale is holding steady right now. I'm hoping that now that I'm not worried about my muscle holding water... and can fully exercise... that either the scale or sizes or both will start going down.

I would really like 2.5 to 3.5lbs a week to break through my goal of being under 200lbs by our trip. I don't think that's too much to ask but we shall see.

Today is sprint day and if the weather cooperates we'll be doing them at the beach.
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