cfine's journey

[cfine]

I have been exercising consistently for about three weeks now, and just decided yesterday that I HAVE to do something more. I am at my all-time highest weight and everything on me hurts.

I tried Atkin's years ago and loved it. The problem that I always have with it is that I have a bladder disease that makes it hard to eat certain things. I love nuts but can't eat many or I have bad pain. Also, Splenda is out because it also causes pain.

I am going to try and just focus on the things that I can safely eat. I am hoping that this is going to be a permanent solution to my weight problem.

Here we go....

[cfine]

Well, it's day two and I'm feeling pretty good actually. Ususally I'm feeling rotten by the second day. I have been cutting a lot of gluten out of my diet recently though, so maybe my body is adjusting more quickly because of that.

Exercised last night for 45 minutes. Went to P.T. today and had a good workout there.

We are going to a pizza joint for lunch. I am having a salad and pizza toppings. I am taking some mac. nuts to the movies for a snack.

[cfine]

Sat. food
B-eggs and turkey bacon
L-cheese cubes, a few mixed nuts, and veggies w/ranch
D-chicken soup
S-bell pepper and wedge of swiss cheese

Sunday
B-cheese stick
L-grilled chicken, asparagus and squash, cauliflower mashed pot.

I will worry about dinner later. Worked out for 45 minutes with my hubby last night.
I am not hungry. My body feels good. I wish I knew why food is such a demon in my life. Physically, I'm satisfied. I am happy in my relationships. Why do I feel some sort of empty feeling when I'm not eating tons of food? Maybe this journal will help me figure it out.

[cfine]

Yesterday evening I had:
cheese stick
beef summer sausage with cream cheese and dill pickle
a little cream cheese with stevia

I think that's all. I plan on making pizza sometime today if I get a chance. Haven't had anything to eat this morning so far. Not really hungry.

Dinner is roast, not sure what else.

[cfine]

Monday food log
B-grilled chicken with moz. cheese
L-salmon, salad, sunflower seeds
D-roast, asparagus, squash, and mashed cauliflower
S-mac. nuts

I'm feeling a little bit of flu-like symptoms. Think I'll go to bed early. Didn't get a chance to exercise today.

Weighed in today, but not on the scales I normally do. It said 268. If it's right, that means I'm down nine pounds!! Whoo hoo! I will hopefully get to weigh on my normal scales tomorrow to see if it says the same.

[cfine]

Tuesday
B-one egg scrambled in butter, one piece of turkey bacon cooked in olive oil
L-low carb pizza, salad w/EVOO and vinegar
D-
S-

[cfine]

D-steak salad w/olive oil and vinegar
S-two tsp. coconut creme concentrate

exercised 35 min. today

[cfine]

B-Atkin's shake
L-fajita chicken w/salad topped w/guac and sour cream
D-turkey-bacon cheesburger casserole, broccolli

went to P.T. today so that is probably going to be my workout for the day.

[cfine]

thursday

no breakfast, didn't sleep much for slept in a bit.
L-steak and chicken, onions and zucinni-Japanese rest. so I had some sauce with it. I think it must have had sugar in it because I have had bad cravings today.

S-beef jerkey
D-brocolli with butter
S-a small piece of crustless pizza

I have had tons of stress this week. This is the first time I have wanted a big bowl of ice-cream in a bad way!! I decided that if I ate it, my stress would be worse since then I would feel physically bad as well as emotionally bad.
I'm pretty proud of myself. Even if my weight stalls for a day or two because of the sauce at the restaurant, I am happy that I made the right decision not to give in to temptation.

[cfine]

Friday
B-egg w/veganaise
L-chicken wings w/salad
D-creamy chicken in the crockpot w/twice baked cauliflower

Today is my big cooking day. I'm doing a big batch of hot wings, a big salad, lasagna w/zuccinni. This should last at least over the weekend. I hate to cook on weekends so I usually do a marathon cooking day on Friday.

Still have a lot of stress in my life right now, but I am not letting that give me an excuse to eat bad. My blood sugar is staying around 98 so that's good. It was 103 this morning. I do not want to go on meds for my blood sugar so food HAS to be my medicine.

I haven't been to the YMCA in a couple of day so not sure about my true weight loss. I am hoping to go this evening. If the scales are right at home, I think I may have lost two or three more pounds. We will see!

I think the thing that has held me back before now on weight loss is never putting anything down in writing. Journaling my progress is quite liberating. Getting my thoughts and feeling down makes me feel better about things.

[cfine]

Saturday

B-cheese stick
L-no pasta lasagna
D-fish fried in olive oil w/brocolli and butter

I went to the Y last night and the scales said 260. That's SIXTEEN pounds gone. I can hardly believe it. I got two pairs of capris out of the back of my closet today, and I can wear them both. They were literally too tight two weeks ago. I am wearing a pair of them today proudly!!
We just had a big family fish fry. I looked at all of those desserts and didn't eat any. I am planning on making myself a low carb chocolate dessert tonight.

I checked my blood sugar this morning, and it was 88. That's the lowest it's been so far. I am so happy about that.

[cfine]

I forgot to add that I ate one deviled egg and one bite of coleslaw. I think both of them had sweet pickles.
Also, I made a chocolate cake recipe from the recipe site tonight and I mis-read the ingredients. I put way too much chocolate in the recipe so I probably had too many carbs today and some sugar.
Hopefully it won't slow me down too much. I'm trying to worry more about my blood sugars than the scale. You can't lose 16 pounds every week and a half.

[cfine]

checked my blood sugar after the "cake" and it's 94.

[cfine]

Sunday
B-LC chocolate cake w/dollop of cream cheese
L-chicken, broccolli
D-leftover lasagna, salad

That's the plan anyway. Hopefully going to workout sometime today.

[cfine]

I decided to have a steak instead of the lasagna. I still felt hungry so I ate two mini muffin lc chocolate cakes. Their are only about 4 net carbs for two of them, but I think that they are what is causing my hunger.

I think that I am going to have to skip the stuff with stevia or splenda in it. I seems to be causing cravings. I will have to re-evaluate things if my weight has stalled or gone up.

Makes me a little sad that I can't indulge in a little something sweet. I am just going to try and observe my body and try to do what it wants me to. I might have to just stick with cheese for a snack.

I also had some turkey pepperonis today with a little bit of cream cheese. I am still hungry feeling

[cfine]

I just ate a deviled egg and a dill pickle. I feel a little better now. I HATE HATE HATE to get uncontrollable hunger. Tomorrow is a new day though, so it will be ok. I just have to keep telling myself that!

[cfine]

Monday

B-deviled egg w/dill pickle
L-fajita chicken w/onions and peppers, avocado
D-hamburger patty w/salad

I went to exercise this morning and I had lost 2lbs. I am down 20lbs. YAY!!!

[cfine]

I also had a deviled egg with my hamburger, a little organic ketchup,pickle and onion. It was the best! I drank a Zevia also.

My daughter didn't believe me when I told her that I was down to 256. I proved it by weighing on the scales at her doctor's office. Yeap, it said 256!!!! I feel so proud.

[cfine]

I didn't log my snacks for yesterday evening. I had one LC mini-muffin with a bit of cream cheese. I had to take some pain meds last night so I had a cheese stick. Woke up this morning to a blood sugar of 100
I also didn't get much sleep. Maybe that's why my BS was up.

Today, Tuesday, I have not planned for my food very well for the day.So far this is what it should look like.
B-deviled egg
L-steak and chicken w/veggies, salad, broth soup(going out to eat)

Not sure about dinner yet. I will probably just grab some meat and veggies and put them on the grill.
I am so bummed about my blood sugar this morning, but going to try and not dwell on it. I do believe that keeping it down will be the secret to my success. It's almost like that number is just(or more)important than the scale.
I am determined to comfortably be able to wear that pair of pants in my closet that I have never worn before by the end of next week. I better get my booty in gear!!

I would love to see the 240's by the end of next week also. I haven't seen that number in.....probably 8 years.

[cfine]

S-starbucks tall skinny vanilla latte-yummo! Next time I will tell them to use half-half. they used non fat milk. I didn't drink all of it though.

Went to physical therapy this morning. I am going to try to get to the pool today but don't know if I will have time.

[cfine]

Wednesday

I didn't get to exercise yesterday, which was a bummer. Just too busy. I ended up going out to eat with a friend. I had a salad w/olive oil and vinegar, also an egg for protein. I got a spoonful of nuts with seasoning on them and after eating them I realized they had something besides nuts. My friend said that it wasn't wheat, so that made me feel a little better. You have to be so careful when eating out.

My BS was 106 this AM. I don't know what the heck is going on except stress. I had a meeting last night which was very emotional and long. I didn't get to sleep until about 1:30 but slept in this morning. I didn't eat anything that would cause a spike unless it was what was in the nut mixture.

I have no idea what I'm eating today. My husband is home from work, so that always means it's a little crazy around here. I like to spend as much time as I can with him. That usually means at least one meal out to eat. I guess I'll post my food later.

[cfine]

Ok, I am a completel goofball. Seriously!! I have not lost 20lbs, I have lost 10!! I don't know what I was thinking when I was weighing. I KNEW I didn't look like I'd lost 20lbs. 10lbs in two weeks is not so shabby so I'll take it.

This is my food for today:
B-deviled egg
L-grilled chicken, lettuce, tomato w/guac and sour cream and a tiny bit of cheese
D-buffalo wings
S-mozarella stick

exercise:45 minutes in pool

I realized today that I need to try to fit some exercise in every day. My stress levels are down now even though my life has not calmed down. I just gotta do it!!

My goals for tomorrow are:
B-scrambled eggs and turkey bacon
L-fish w/broccolli casserole
D-grilled meat w/small amount of veggies
S-cheese stick
I really want to try and watch my carb count a little better.
Exercise:45 minutes in addition to physcial therapy

[cfine]

Thursday
Well, I woke up two hours late. This makes me feel very, very stressed. UGH! My daughter has an important doctor's appt. today and I have to get some papers together for it. I'm already nervous about going to a new doctor, but it must be done. I just pray he can help us.
When I wake up stressed, I don't want to eat. Then I tend to overeat later. I just figured that out about myself. I guess I will try to at least eat a piece of cheese or a deviled egg.

[cfine]

Well...I didn't eat one thing on my meal plan.
B-deviled egg
L-grilled chicken salad w/ranch and a bit of buffalo wing sauce
D-a few bites of a stir-fry w/cabbage, green onions, and ground beef
S-Atkins shake

I really felt like I cheated today for some reason, but I didn't. I guess it's because I really didn't feel hungry at all today, and I was really busy. I didn't have time to go to the gym, but I am definitely going tomorrow.

I am seriously considering doing JUDD along with LC.

[cfine]

BS this a.m. was 118.

I am going to attempt the JUDD today. It's going to be my DD. I hope I can make it through because I really want to get my BS down.

Leaving in a few to go and exercise. That should help.

DD plan
three deviled eggs w/veganaise and dill pickles-300 calories

I will try to find something later that is around 200 calories.

[cfine]

I didn't eat all of the yolk of my eggs so I am going to eat a little dinner with my family.

D-3oz.roast beef w/3oz.carrots-263 calories

I exercised 40 minutes today.

The evening is always my hardest time trying not to eat. I am hoping that I can just stay busy and go to bed early tonight. My stress levels are so much better when I exercise. I added in some deep breathing today also.

Meal Plan for tomorrow:
B-eggs and turkey bacon
L-chicken wings w/carrots, celery, and ranch
D-stuffed bell peppers(no rice)
S-small piece of 80%dark chocolate

[cfine]

On my DD yesterday, I had an Atkin shake-160 calories. I was too weak to finish my day. I ended up with about 700 calories for the day.

Blood sugar was 101 this morning.

[cfine]

Saturday
Well, I stuck to my planned meal schedule pretty good. I ate everything on my list. I added one snack of 1/4c. mac. nuts. I worked out tonight for only 20 minutes, but I tried to do a more intense workout. I was starving by the time I finished. Those nuts were GOOD!

So tomorrow is a DD. I'm going to try JUDD for at least a week or two and see if my body can adjust to it. My first DD was a little hard towards the end of the day.

I've been doing good with my deep breathing exercises. I'm trying to keep myself calm with all of the turmoil around me. I feel more relaxed when I do them a couple of times a day.

I almost forgot the most important part..I am down 13lbs. now. YAY!

[cfine]

Sunday.

Welcome to DD. Here's the plan.
B-coffee w/HWC and SF vanilla syrup-50 calories 0 carbs
L-stuffed bell pepper-410 calories 6 carbs
D-Atkins shake-160 calories 2 carbs

totals-620 calories 8 net carbs

Exercise plan-45 minutes in pool

I am so excited. My blood sugar was 91 this AM. I can't wait to get on the scale!

[cfine]

Well...I'm not doing so good at this DD thing. I just feel so rotten. I'm not going to worry about it too much though. I'm still in ketosis.I'm still going to try and count my calories every other day. I think if I can stick to around 1000 calories, that will help.

Added to my menu for today is: 1/2c.parm cheese-100 calories-I'd guess about 2-3 carbs 3tbsp. butter-300 calories wi/miracle noodles

That brings my total calories for the day to 1020 calories 11 net carbs

I don't like to feel hungry and weak all day long. I will be making some other modifications to my DD's. I did better having eggs early in the day. I was fine until I went and worked out, and then I felt like I was going to die. Won't do that again.

Still holding at 263. I would love to see the 250's by the end of the week.