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Old 04-22-2014, 08:52 AM   #151
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Hi Twyla! What a wonderful message you wrote... thank you for your kind words. I teared up while reading. You are such a health and fitness inspiration. Your words mean a lot to me! What a positive boost... thank you for spreading the joy. I hope you had a lovely Easter. Sounds like you had meaningful, celebratory plans. The things you mentioned - remembering loved ones, celebrating with family, exercise and getting positive things done like cleaning - these are my favorite ways to spend a holiday.


I came in to report on my spring challenge.

No dairy and no artificial sweeteners have been easy, but have not had any big WOW effect on me. I'm going to keep it up for a month total or so, tho, just to get my system adjusted. Then re-introduce various dairy things and see if there is an effect there. I read that some people have a response when they re-introduce it, so I'll be looking for that.

As for the intermittent-fasting style of eating (Two meals a day, 12 and 6, no snacks) -- I have to say, I really wanted this to result in weight loss, increased energy, etc. The biggest results I had were disrupted sleep (waking up in the middle of the night and being unable to fall back asleep, probably from high cortisol) and a constant headache. So - I stopped doing that particular version of IF for now, because feeling bad all day means I don't get as much done, don't feel very good exercising, am less pleasant to be around, etc. I did it for a week and a half total. I would maybe try a different version of IF in the future but for now, it didn't feel great. And it's springtime so I want to be bouncing out of bed, getting outside and enjoying the sun and green plants growing! I stopped this at the end of my first challenge (April 16). Within 2 days I did not have a headache and I started sleeping soundly through the night again.

So - I made a paper checklist for another week and a half challenge. It started April 17 and goes to the 27th. This one has 3 meals a day instead of 2. Still no dairy, no artificial sweeteners. And a few other things like exercising at least 5 days a week. Oh, and supplements. I have my pill-type supplements that I usually day (fish oil, probiotic, Vitamin D) but then I also have been experimenting with adding some "whole foods" types of supplements. As in...

2 brazil nuts
1 naturally fermented pickle
1 packet of plain gelatin
1 square of seaweed
1 tablespoon raw potato starch
1 tablespoon unsweetened cranberry juice (roughly same carbs as lemon juice)
1/4 tsp unprocessed sea salt

I can't say for sure what these supplements are doing. Maybe nothing! The placebo effect is definitely real. But, it's interesting enough, so I want to keep going. And probably eating things like pickles aren't doing me too much harm (knock on wood). So I'll keep those up for awhile and look for any pros or cons.
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Old 04-22-2014, 10:06 AM   #152
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Hi Elizabeth ! I was reading your posts and so many things rang true for me as well. I battled depression and anxiety for many years while heavy. Then when I started dieting and losing the weight the "highs" from seeing the constant drops on the scale kept my mood and energy level at an all time high. By the time I lost half the weight I was on no medication. I do take lots of supplements and I think for me in conjuction with exercise keeps anxiety and the blues at bay.

What you said about IF rang true for me since I've been doing 18/6 or just not eating after 6 pm for almost a year now. I take Melatonin to sleep and that helped tremendously since otherwise I can't fall or stay asleep. But before IF that was always an issue with me with my anxiety since I can't seem to shut my brain off. But it's worth it since my worse eating was late at night and with IF I have more control of my eating and more in tune with my hunger and body. Control seems to be a big issue for me since I was out of control for so very long.

I am in maintenance now since November 2012 when I got to goal weight but had a rough time with binging/vacation gain through March 2013 and then got my act together and have been stable since then. For me now the biggest issues are trying to stay healthy of mind and body. I follow 5:2 for maintenance (5 days regular healthy eating) and 2 days of 500 calories. I can get very OCD about things so this allowed me to relax and not count calories, macros etc. I've been exercising 5x a week, mostly recumbent bike, pilates, light weights. I eat 99.9 % of the time on plan low to moderate carb with no sugar. The exercise helps with anxiety which is still there but I've gotten better at identifying the triggers and working through it but it's still a battle at time. My goal is never to go on medication again.

I've also been experimenting with supplements and have added a Chia/flax/hemp seed combo to my foods which helped tremendously with regularity. I also take amino chewables for energy and feel that helps keep me going through the day and B12 for mood as well.

You're posts are an inspiration since it's easy to find post after post of folks losing and dieting but not "maintaining" which is another battle in of itself. I am still trying to lose that dieting mentality. While I have made progress but still deep down while I am happy with all I have accomplished I am always hoping for another 5 pounds. Been overcoming my fears one at a time from carbs from good foods like fruits and veggies to exercise to the scale.

Thanks again
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Old 05-02-2014, 08:06 AM   #153
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Hi Pandora! Thanks for stopping by. I subscribed to your journal too. You have had such great success, wow! Congratulations. I agree, there are not enough maintenance journals on LCF. I have to share one from elsewhere on the internet (not from LCF) that I recently found - do a search for "gardengirlkp". I absolutely love this blog. The author, Karen, has an inner calm and positivity that shines through in all posts. She has inspired me in so many ways!


I came in today to discuss my spring mini-challenges. I've been designing these short challenges for myself, just to switch up my nutrition habits.

April 5-16
No dairy, no artificial sweeteners, whole foods supplements, 10000 steps 5x week, track water (8 cups), journal about my "automatic thoughts" regarding food, intermittent fasting
Results: Down 2 lbs, massive headaches, trouble sleeping

April 17-25
Same as above but change intermittent fasting to 3 meals a day. Focus on recovery.
Results: No weight change, headaches and sleep problems tapered off

April 26-May 2
Same as above but change 3 meals a day to 5 mini-meals plus dinner. Start some "calorie awareness" - very gentle. Not harsh restriction. Add Apple Cider Vinegar to supplements.
Results: Down 3 lbs, no headaches, no sleep problems

So, I have been dairy free for almost a month. It has not actually been hard. I did a lot of mental work beforehand, changed my perception and treated the whole thing like a science experiment. I really want to see what happens with no dairy. Therefore, why would I eat dairy? Then I wouldn't get to see what happens. I wouldn't really know. And - I want to get better at not clutching on to things I think I need. Maybe I don't need them as much as I think I do. Lots of people eat no dairy. And more importantly, lots of people eat no dairy WITHOUT it being a big deal (like Karen/gardengirlkp, the blogger I mentioned above). Hmmm, I bet I can do that too. I want to be like that. I want to be able to test out food intolerances and just enjoy the process. I asked myself, "What would Ultimate Elizabeth do? What is the most ideal way for a person to handle this?".. and then I visualized myself giving up dairy with no drama, no self-wrestling, no white-knuckling, etc. And .. that's how it turned out.

I made a little "dairy corral" behind some boxes of almond milk in the fridge and put all the dairy in there as a visual reminder.

I reminded myself that part of how human brains work is that they create neural pathways in response to habits. If I have a big "Dairy" neural pathway, my brain will want to send neurons down that pathway and I will want to behave the way I always have. So if I want to change that habit, I first have to just plain old stop myself. At first, I will continue to feel the desire to do my habit. That's just my brain sending neurons down the old familiar dairy trail. OF COURSE my brain is doing that. That's its habit. That's what healthy brains do! BUT.. if I can get through a few instances of not eating dairy, then my brain can start to change. It can go "Oh, hey, maybe we're not doing that dairy path anymore." The dairy neural pathway can shrink a little due to under-use. I'm doing new things like almond milk/coconut oil in coffee instead of cream. So my brain starts up a new pathway for almond milk/coconut oil. That pathway is small at first but gets bigger every time I do the new behavior. And as the almond milk pathway gets bigger, the dairy pathway shrinks. My brain starts to want to send the neurons automatically down the almond pathway instead! Annndd.. success! I changed my habit.

My biggest hurdle was knowing that it would feel weird/wrong at first. So I anticipated / looked for that feeling. "Ok - I'm going to want to add cream to my coffee. At some point my brain will repeatedly pop the idea of cream into my head. I will acknowledge it. I will say, thank you brain, for working just how you are supposed to, by making these neural pathway habits for me. But for now, no cream, because I want to see what happens to my body with no dairy."

I got many of these concepts of how the brain works from the book "Brain Over Binge", by the way. That book was such a helpful tool in removing a lot of the drama/struggle over nutrition habits from my life.

So - for now, I'm going to keep doing no dairy (and all my other new habits) and see what happens. No lifetime proclamations just yet. Just going to take it one week at a time.

Last edited by ElizabethLC; 05-02-2014 at 08:13 AM..
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Old 05-13-2014, 02:09 PM   #154
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152.5 today. Weight has been going down steadily on this no dairy thing. Loving it!!
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Old 05-20-2014, 08:00 AM   #155
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I'm doing batch cooking today. Wanted to jot down this experience.

When I make bacon, I do the whole pack (or 2) on cookie sheets in the oven. Then cool and store in the fridge. Chop up a piece here and there for soup or salad, or grab 2 pc and have with eggs for breakfast.

When I cook bacon, I usually eat a few pieces when it is still hot. I realized this is regardless of if I am hungry or not. It's just a habit. Bacon is a big "brain reward" food for me. It is "fun" to eat and the reward parts of my brain light up.

So today I was just making bacon and thinking about how I usually automatically eat some. I had the idea to just look into this further. Do I really need to eat the bacon? I just had breakfast so obviously no. But do I WANT to eat the bacon? YES. Very much. The part of the brain that rewards us for aquiring a desireable item was telling me (and pardon me for how ridiculous this sounds):
  • Eat a piece!
  • It's right there!
  • It's almost yours!
  • Get that bacon!
  • Start salivating because you are about to eat!
  • Make bacon always means eat bacon!
  • Eat it fast, hurry!
  • Just eat a ton of bacon, it's on plan/low carb!

And meanwhile, the rational part of my brain was just observing this, going:
  • This is really interesting.
  • I don't need to eat; I just had breakfast.
  • Look how compelling this is.
  • I see you, Reward Brain. I see what is happening here.
  • This is a habit.
  • This comes from years of compulsive eating.
  • This is my brain wanting me to behave automatically.
  • I bet I can skip eating this bacon even though my Reward Brain really wants me to eat it.
  • I'll just skip it and keep observing the process of what's going on here.

So.. here are some conclusions.

1. I definitely have a problem with compulsive eating. Not everyone has this, but I do.

2. I have been working on / directly aware of this problem for a couple years. I've made improvements and changed a lot of things .. But the scaffolding of the habits remains. I'm not "cured". I probably could still crash and burn into overeating and weight gain, even with all this awareness I have.

3. It's not "fair"... And never will be. It's up to me to either waste energy struggling against this , or get over it/ deal with it in a way that gives me the outcomes I want.

4. Bacon might not be my friend if this is what's going to happen when I make it.

5. On the other hand, life is pretty short and what if I am overthinking this... UGH. Probably am.

6. I will eat bacon later when I am hungry. And continue to be mindful and reflect on what I really want long term: Weight maintenance/ health / mindfulness / awareness?Or giving in to my compulsions sometimes / a more "go with the flow" attitude / possible weight gain / accepting eating for non-hunger reasons?

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Old 05-20-2014, 09:00 AM   #156
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When my desire to eat compulsively is activated, in that moment, it often does not feel like I have a choice about eating.. My brain just says EAT very strongly and repetitively. But I do have a choice.

Also.. Why is there a duality of thought within my own brain? If I think about this too much, it makes me feel a little crazy. I wonder what percent of human behavior is mindful and what percent is automatic. How often do we humans rationalize our automatic behavior and think that it was mindful?
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Old 06-03-2014, 08:45 AM   #157
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I think I am on to something with my new "food sobriety" outlook. Several people now have been very vocal that I look thinner than usual. (People who I know pretty well but have no idea that I'm doing no dairy/food sobriety.) I haven't lost more weight yet but I may be on the verge of a woosh. Time will tell I guess.

I got a new jar of peanut butter last week. I realized I have been really negotiating/dancing with it. I always thought "Oh, I can include peanut butter. It doesn't bother me!" But... I think it may be a temptation/addiction food! A food that I want to eat more of than I need. "Just one extra spoonful.. Ok, that was good, just one more. It's ok, peanut butter is a safe food for me."

Will have to ponder this, but I am seeing my behavior with regards to PB in a new light. I now know some foods are much easier to manage when I don't even take the first bite, don't start the dance, don't spark my desire to eat compulsively.

Maybe I will not include p.b. anymore, if eating it just makes me want to eat more of it.

Last edited by ElizabethLC; 06-03-2014 at 08:56 AM..
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Old 06-06-2014, 12:49 PM   #158
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Was getting dressed today and my clothes were comically large on me. I think I might be the smallest (in size) I've ever been as an adult.

(I'm sure I was this size in junior high for 2 days or something on my way up to higher weights.)

Have been continuing no dairy and doing some further examination of my eating in response to emotions. I believe I have a longterm habit of wanting to eat when I feel bad. It's one thing to say this calmly when I am in a neutral moment. BUT it's another thing to be in the moment, feeling bad, wanting to eat/soothe/get a mini dopamine rush.. And then go "Oh yeah.. This is that thing! I want to drug myself with food! I feel bad, and I'm NOT going to do that lifelong thing I always do to help me feel better. Sooooo.. I guess I'll just sit here and feel bad for awhile. And maybe try to find healthy coping mechanisms. Or something?"

Yeah, it's not trite. It's hard! I don't know if I can actually explain the feeling in the moment. Here is how it went down last night.
  • Uggggh, I am frustrated!
  • My brain is telling me to EAT and stop feeling the Bad Thing.
  • Everyone does it! Think Bridgit Jones! People are SUPPOSED to eat when they feel bad. That's why there are so many jokes about eating the whole pint of Ben and Jerry's etc!
  • Eat and then you will be able to deal with this better.
  • Eat so you can calm down and work on this.
  • Eat so you can calm down and fall asleep.
  • Eat chocolate for that blissed out feeling!
  • Oh you just had your one square of chocolate? It wasn't enough. Eat more.
  • Oh that wasn't enough either. Better eat more until I can get to the bliss feeling.
  • Hmmm, not working.
  • Hey, I just noticed my stomach is totally full from dinner.
  • Hey, I'm not actually hungry here, I'm just doing my bad habit.
  • I still want to eat more chocolate!
  • Just keep eating, you don't feel better yet.
  • Hm, actually, maybe I have a choice here.
  • How much chocolate is going to be "enough"?
  • Hm, chocolate is not going to help me with that thing I am frustrated about.
  • I could probably eat a boatload of chocolate and never get to the point of feeling better, because my problem is something else.
  • Chocolate is not going to solve my problem.
  • I have a choice here. I can either deal with my original problem, OR I can overeat chocolate and in doing so, add another problem to my list, for a new total of TWO problems.
  • I guess probably one problem is better than two.
  • (At this moment, I have decided not to eat more chocolate.)


Total damage was 4 extra pieces of 85% dark choc, about 210 cals. Ideally, I guess want to avoid the emotional eating altogether. My goal is to recognize my Automatic Thinking right away and make a choice from there. Baby steps, I suppose. I know I have improved on this greatly in the past 4 years, so I celebrate that, but I def still have room to grow and get better.

Last edited by ElizabethLC; 06-06-2014 at 12:53 PM..
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Old 06-07-2014, 07:55 AM   #159
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151.5 today.

Reflecting on past delusions. It is very hard/painful/embarrassing to look back into my own past and see that I was delusional about how much I ate and why I was eating. When I am able to handle my eating habits in a new way, then I am able to contrast that method with my previous method. And it can really make me go, "Uggggghhhhhhh!!"

SUCKS to know that throughout my past I have compulsively eaten extra food, food I don't need (e.g., a spoonful of peanut butter, extra chocolate, handful of nuts) and then instantly rationalized it away. Total revisionist history. "But I stayed on plan!" UGH! What is wrong with me? Why would I do that?

W O R S T !!

All I can do is improve from here I guess but man does it ever suck to go "Wow, that was not very smart!"
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Old 06-11-2014, 11:24 AM   #160
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Elizabeth,
I am so grateful to have found your journal. I've struggled with maintenance, especially the past year. I too have read Brain over Binge and it's good to see someone implementing the principals here. My intention was good, I'd start then fall into bad habits. After coming out of a binge period - I did Hcg in March. I'm in the maintenance phase right now and doing well. I journal on that website.
Cheese was a big part of my food plan before hcg. I have recently incorporated kefir back into what I am eating without issue. I was considering adding cheese but after reading your journal am seriously rethinking this. Have you heard of the hunger scale? Ive been watching Weight loss Apocalypse on Youtube and have started incorporating her principals into my meals. Right now I'm just at the point where I am experiencing the awareness of where I am eating on the scale, and not judging...
Anyway, I wanted to tell you that I'm grateful to have found you here.
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Old 06-20-2014, 04:47 PM   #161
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Hi Izzysdream! Thanks for stopping by and reaching out.. Always means a lot. I did a google of your username and HCG and I think I found your journal. Looked like you had a rough spot this week, I def know what that's like so big hugs, hang in there and just be as you as possible. I recently saw the initials ODAT as a mantra/calming phrase (meaning One Day At A Time) and was considering getting it as a tattoo.

I have not heard of Weight loss Apocalypse or the Hunger Scale but I will head over to youtube and check them out for sure.

As for cheese/dairy, man.. It sure is good stuff. Looks good on paper too, with its protein, calcium and range of both low carb and lower cal items. I added back in whey protein shakes a few times a week the past 2 weeks, and have had some of the usual dairy-type complaints. Plus my weight loss streak stopped, boo hoo. One minute pity party and then ... maybe moving forward with my experiment I will drop those again and see what happens. That's all we can do I think (re: you and cheese too) try it out for ourselves and see how it goes.

And remember to forgive and love ourselves, roll with the punches, get back up and dust off the ol' shoulders!
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Old 06-21-2014, 06:38 AM   #162
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I was reminded of another old weight management motto. A little cutesy but oh so true for me:

"Face your stuff; don't stuff your face."
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Old 06-23-2014, 07:15 PM   #163
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This weekend I made popsicles by putting coconut milk into popsicle molds. Very nice to eat when it's hot. Just had one while watching "Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee".

I also made a pitcher of chai iced tea today and will be trying that with almond milk tomorrow. Plus I've been making cold press coffee, and water infused with ginger. Kind of nice to have several options of drinks/cold things ready. I find that with exercising outside every day, my body appreciates more fluids.

Oh and DIY Gatorade for when I've been sweating buckets doing yardwork: water, Natural Calm for magnesium, sea salt and Morton's potassium salt. Provides electrolytes just like Gatorade but no sweetener, dyes, chemicals, etc.
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Old 06-26-2014, 06:00 PM   #164
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Sorry for my senior moments in your journel! LOL
Did you find my journal P3 journey into P4? It's my accountability space.
I've had two major binges since starting HCG in April.
June 18th and yesterday.
I've logged into ****** what I've eaten.
I looked back and didn't paste the numbers for June 18th, I didn't want to but did paste them for yesterday.
This is new for me. Usually I want to hide it from myself, much less the rest of the viewing world.
Didn't "face my stuff" I wasn't wanting to feel the feelings and I let my self get rid of them in the old patterned way. I let that be okay, and got back on my food plan today. Didn't let myself go into the foods I used to. Been able to discipline myself in that way anyway...sorry for rambling on in your journal...

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Old 06-28-2014, 06:43 AM   #165
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Hi Izzysdream.. How's it going today? I definitely have been there with the binges. Big hugs to you. Do you ever do a personal journal (e.g. a paper notebook)? One of my strategies is to write and explore how I was feeling, what I wanted, why I would want to compulsively overeat, is there anything I'm trying to avoid dealing with, is there something causing me pain that I want to drug myself with a big hit of dopamine to avoid... Has my eating been balanced or have I been wobbly and so on.

(Just to be 100% clear, talking about me here, naming my own BS.. Not making a call on you or your situation or anything like that!)

I once read something about men who were addicted to this cycle (with regards to sexual addictions):
  • Temptation
  • Resisting
  • Giving in and going for it
  • Temporary bliss
  • Shame, guilt, embarassment
  • Vows to do better
  • Restriction
  • Then starting back over with temptation and repeating the whole cycle.

The point of the article was that for some people it is the whole cycle they are "addicted" to and repeat over and over. I thought, wow, that is remarkably similar to my own lifelong cycle of compulsively overeating! I have been thru that cycle a thousand times or more, starting in my young teenage years. It's a habit for me.

So.. Sometimes I can notice that I am on one of those steps. I can go, ah yes, this old familiar step. Next I am going to want to X, then Y, then Z. If I just binged, i know that I will enjoy it for a short time, then start to feel bad, then vow to be "better". If I am feeling the strong "temptation" feeling, I know I could give in soon, and my brain might start making up hilarious rationalizations about why I deserve to overeat.

So when I recognize I am in this cycle, sometimes I am able to go "Ah - ha! How can I get off the merry-go-round? How can I disrupt this cycle so that I don't keep going to the next step? I need to do something new or different so that I don't end up repeating my lifelong pattern." And then try to problem solve in the moment. Often I get out the journal and write, sometimes several pages. Like, do I feel deprived and why? Is something stressing my out and I've been avoiding dealing with it? Do I want some validation/attention? Affection? Do I want to resolve a conflict that has been bothering me? Do I feel unloved, unworthy? Have I been focusing too much on one thing and I need a change of scenery? Am I looking for a brain hit of dopamine and if so, is there a healthier way I could act that out, like connecting with a friend or family member, completing a puzzle, walking to Starbucks for an on-plan but "fun" drink or driving somewhere scenic to see a new and beautiful place? And so on. Whatever is going on at that moment.

Ok, anyways! Rambling quite a bit but these are my thoughts on binging/overeating for today. After being steady for a very long time, I had a wobbly day last week and ended up overeating. Hard to admit that, because I would rather be Magically Instantly Cured For Life!! But I am not. It is a process. I found myself in that old familiar place and even followed the cycle for a few steps but I was able to recogize it and get off a.s.a.p. Have been taking it one day at a time since then.

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Old 06-28-2014, 11:02 AM   #166
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ElizabethLC View Post
Hi Izzysdream.. How's it going today? I definitely have been there with the binges. Big hugs to you. Do you ever do a personal journal (e.g. a paper notebook)? One of my strategies is to write and explore how I was feeling, what I wanted, why I would want to compulsively overeat, is there anything I'm trying to avoid dealing with, is there something causing me pain that I want to drug myself with a big hit of dopamine to avoid... Has my eating been balanced or have I been wobbly and so on.

(Just to be 100% clear, talking about me here, naming my own BS.. Not making a call on you or your situation or anything like that!)

I once read something about men who were addicted to this cycle (with regards to sexual addictions):
  • Temptation
  • Resisting
  • Giving in and going for it
  • Temporary bliss
  • Shame, guilt, embarassment
  • Vows to do better
  • Restriction
  • Then starting back over with temptation and repeating the whole cycle.

The point of the article was that for some people it is the whole cycle they are "addicted" to and repeat over and over. I thought, wow, that is remarkably similar to my own lifelong cycle of compulsively overeating! I have been thru that cycle a thousand times or more, starting in my young teenage years. It's a habit for me.

So.. Sometimes I can notice that I am on one of those steps. I can go, ah yes, this old familiar step. Next I am going to want to X, then Y, then Z. If I just binged, i know that I will enjoy it for a short time, then start to feel bad, then vow to be "better". If I am feeling the strong "temptation" feeling, I know I could give in soon, and my brain might start making up hilarious rationalizations about why I deserve to overeat.

So when I recognize I am in this cycle, sometimes I am able to go "Ah - ha! How can I get off the merry-go-round? How can I disrupt this cycle so that I don't keep going to the next step? I need to do something new or different so that I don't end up repeating my lifelong pattern." And then try to problem solve in the moment. Often I get out the journal and write, sometimes several pages. Like, do I feel deprived and why? Is something stressing my out and I've been avoiding dealing with it? Do I want some validation/attention? Affection? Do I want to resolve a conflict that has been bothering me? Do I feel unloved, unworthy? Have I been focusing too much on one thing and I need a change of scenery? Am I looking for a brain hit of dopamine and if so, is there a healthier way I could act that out, like connecting with a friend or family member, completing a puzzle, walking to Starbucks for an on-plan but "fun" drink or driving somewhere scenic to see a new and beautiful place? And so on. Whatever is going on at that moment.

Ok, anyways! Rambling quite a bit but these are my thoughts on binging/overeating for today. After being steady for a very long time, I had a wobbly day last week and ended up overeating. Hard to admit that, because I would rather be Magically Instantly Cured For Life!! But I am not. It is a process. I found myself in that old familiar place and even followed the cycle for a few steps but I was able to recogize it and get off a.s.a.p. Have been taking it one day at a time since then.
Thank you Elizabeth. Yes that is me to a T! Yesterday I went out to eat on a date and had popcorn etc at the movies later that night. I was one day out eating "clean" after the binge day. Today, my mind is in a funk over something evasive. As usual when I don't want to face an emotion, my focus is drawn to food and the committee in my head pondering to me what to eat... Journaling is a tool I've used although not as frequent as I would like. Was planning to do that today, also walk to the fitness center nearby and do the weight machines (car in shop at the moment). I also got a racquetball racket that I got from a friend. I have this big pet pillow on my bed and when I'm feeling strong emotion (especially anger or frustration) I hit the pillow with the racket, also scream into the pillow (don't want to disturb my neighbors, lol) This is an effective tool for me also. Growing up I binged over a lot of suppressed rage and even though I've dealt with some of it...the undercurrent comes up at least once a week. I may do that first before I head to the gym. The racket is calling my name...

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Old 06-30-2014, 07:17 AM   #167
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"The committee in my head", very well-put! I have that same committee.

Came in to report that I have stayed "food sober" since my venture off. Am on a "staycation" this week, starting last Friday. I stayed on plan all weekend through day trips in the car and being off my schedule. Got up this morning and sketched out some rough meal plans for the rest of the week off.

I'm going to a multi-day event with friends starting on Thurs and will pack coconut manna, fresh coconut, blueberries and veggies. Plus maybe a controlled amount of macadamia nuts. There will be various grilled meats at the event so I will have those too. Plus sparkling water with lemon. Feels like a summery/picnic-y menu. This is my 5th year going to the event and I have always stayed on plan every year, so that is what I plan to do again! I want to feel great with regards to my digestive system/inflammation/bloating/etc. I don't want to be distracted from the fun of the event because my guts are complaining. So I will just stay on plan. Sometimes there is some awkwardness when the group wants to get X or Y food, but if that happens, my plan is to just let it be a little awkward, and stay on plan. E.g., everyone is getting ice cream or pizza or whatnot. I will just deal with any questions, pressure, perceived criticism, etc.

In fact.. This is a good point for me to remember: if I am being sensitive, I may over-react to someone's comment and take it as a criticism. When really, it may have been neutral. Or, if it actually was a negative comment, it probably does not really matter in the long run. I can just shake it off, ignore, move on with my day and stay on plan because life is too short to freak out about food commentary.

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Old 07-06-2014, 11:33 AM   #168
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Weight today 151.5.

Stayed "food sober" for my long weekend event with no wobbly feelings. Sometimes after an event like this, I have had a "relief binge" so I will be on the lookout for that.

Have stopped my nightly chocolate for the moment. Want to see what, if anything, happens with that. Hoping for continued reduced cravings.

I have been hoping to see 140s this summer. We'll see I suppose!

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Old 07-06-2014, 07:11 PM   #169
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Elizabeth I love reading you! Everything you say resonates with me. I got back from vacation without any binge incidents, stayed on mostly p3 foods last night had Mexican without the flour tortillas or cheese. I think I'm either the same or down what I weighed before i left. I got a full time job that I will be starting on Wednesday (first full time job in 3.5 years and I haven't done this type of work before) and all the stress that accompanies that experience. Am cooking my meals in advance and will be ready food wise for the rest of the week.
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Old 07-07-2014, 07:25 AM   #170
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Hi Izzysdream-- Post-vacation right into a new job! That is a whirlwind! Good for you for planning ahead. I hope the new job is great. There is something fresh and exciting about a new job.

I came in to report ... 150.5! A new recent low. My reward for staying on plan through my staycation and weekend event.

The lowest I have ever seen on the scale is 148.5, which I saw twice around March 2011 and twice more in May 2012.

My current 6-month vision is to continue my food sobriety plan and see if I can drip and drop my way solidly into the 140s. I would love to be in the 140s at Xmas. In the past, I have made some big pushes to get into the 140s but my body has always had other plans and not wanted to stay. So, we'll see! Like always.
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Old 07-10-2014, 08:45 PM   #171
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Fabulous 150.5! Yay You!!!!

I started doing EFT (tapping therapy) on my eating disorder and other things...see how it goes...

Loved my first day at work!!! Soooooo glad!!!!!

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Old 07-24-2014, 02:27 PM   #172
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Still bouncing around the low 150s. 151 today. No complaints here because I am in all my smallest clothes. I weigh less than I did in high school. Summer is extra fun when you are feeling comfortable in your skin.

Came in to report that I got some stomach aches from my beloved coconut oil. Been having it regularly since 2008. Suddenly getting stomachaches! (Stomach pain, not nausea.) What's up with that? Maybe I have a bad jar. I'm taking a break from it and then will probably try a new jar or new brand in a week or two. Today I made a blender coffee with pecan oil. I don't know a thing about what amazing magical powers this oil may have, but I assume one of them is probably effortless weight loss. (... Just kidding...) My parents brought it as a gift from their trip to a pecan farm... Had been wondering how to use it anyways and this seems like the thing to do. Tasted pretty good emulsified into coffee.
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Old 07-25-2014, 06:04 AM   #173
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Aagh! 149!

Happy dance today!
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Old 07-29-2014, 06:45 AM   #174
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148 yesterday, 148.5 today.

Here's what I think is working in my favor at the moment: why I am getting to these lower weights.

1. Greatly reduced stress compared to the last 3 years.

2. Monitoring Vitamin D levels and being outside when the UV index is 2-4.

3. Exercise. Not overdoing the exercise intensity. Consistently getting my 10000 steps at a happy pace. Using my walk time to be in the moment, appreciate and experience the world around me.

4. Getting to a point in my life where I was ready to try eliminating foods I like that are low carb but that may stimulate overeating in me. Dairy, bacon, nuts, chocolate, alcohol, artificial sweeteners. Giving myself one-week elimination challenges to see how I feel. Then rolling that one-week into a longer time frame.

5. Deep breathing exercises. Breathing into the stomach. Reduces stress and tension held in the muscles.

6. Preparing 95% of my meals at home.

7. Calorie awareness and respect. From 2008-2010, when I lost from 218 to 150s, I did not have to pay attention to calories. Now, with some calorie awareness, I am dipping into the 140s. For awhile, I was not ready to really embrace calorie awareness. The thought made me want to have a tantrum. This year, I was ready.

8. Having a general attitude of taking control of my life in areas that are scary or where I feel like a dummy. E.g. some medical things, finances, etc. Just firmly deciding: I am going to do this, I am going to face this, I will figure this out. Baby steps ok.

9. Doing the mental work throughout the past 2 years to understand my compulsive overeating habits. Naming the cycle of my bad habits. Being able to recognize when I fall into the overeating cycle and then try to step out. (Not instantly and not every time. Baby steps ok here too.)

I will ponder this topic more today and see if I come up with anything else.

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Old 08-14-2014, 03:41 PM   #175
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Came in to post a Health Care PSA. I got a new prescription today. Went to fill it and paid A Lot of money. Ugh.

Then, while I was looking into why the heck it was so expensive, I found out there are a bunch of sites where you can shop around/price compare prescription drugs. Wish I had known that those exsisted this morning! I could've literally saved more than 150.00. OUCH! Feeling quite burned by that.

So.. That is my PSA. You can use any of the sites; just google the topic and you will find them. I'm sure they all work. I don't recommend any particular one over another. I don't work for any of the websites. I'm just trying to tell as many people as possible that you can price compare prescriptions.

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Old 08-17-2014, 07:05 AM   #176
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ElizabethLC View Post
148 yesterday, 148.5 today.

Here's what I think is working in my favor at the moment: why I am getting to these lower weights.

1. Greatly reduced stress compared to the last 3 years.

2. Monitoring Vitamin D levels and being outside when the UV index is 2-4.

3. Exercise. Not overdoing the exercise intensity. Consistently getting my 10000 steps at a happy pace. Using my walk time to be in the moment, appreciate and experience the world around me.

4. Getting to a point in my life where I was ready to try eliminating foods I like that are low carb but that may stimulate overeating in me. Dairy, bacon, nuts, chocolate, alcohol, artificial sweeteners. Giving myself one-week elimination challenges to see how I feel. Then rolling that one-week into a longer time frame.

5. Deep breathing exercises. Breathing into the stomach. Reduces stress and tension held in the muscles.

6. Preparing 95% of my meals at home.

7. Calorie awareness and respect. From 2008-2010, when I lost from 218 to 150s, I did not have to pay attention to calories. Now, with some calorie awareness, I am dipping into the 140s. For awhile, I was not ready to really embrace calorie awareness. The thought made me want to have a tantrum. This year, I was ready.

8. Having a general attitude of taking control of my life in areas that are scary or where I feel like a dummy. E.g. some medical things, finances, etc. Just firmly deciding: I am going to do this, I am going to face this, I will figure this out. Baby steps ok.

9. Doing the mental work throughout the past 2 years to understand my compulsive overeating habits. Naming the cycle of my bad habits. Being able to recognize when I fall into the overeating cycle and then try to step out. (Not instantly and not every time. Baby steps ok here too.)

I will ponder this topic more today and see if I come up with anything else.
Congratulations on that dippin into the 140's'! I got hired permanently after about a month into my 90 day trial. The relief from stress has been all encompassing. 3.5 years of limited, sometimes no income affected me on levels I didn't know existed. I'm definitely happy dancin'
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Old 08-27-2014, 08:04 AM   #177
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Izzysdream -- Yessssss to lowered stress. I felt a wave of happiness for you just reading your news. In 2013, I was able to switch my work around so that it was no longer a wall of stress every day. The daily difference is quite remarkable. If I get out my paper journals from before the switch, I can remember what it was like having all these work worries and unending issues, wall to wall, every day. Seems like a nightmare now. And since then, the health changes and just how I feel in the morning now... I feel pretty good, excited for the day, not just automatically full of dread every day. Not holding myself tense 24/7. Stress has an effect on our health for certain. So I am so happy that you are happy dancing! It is fantastic.

*************

I came in to report that I am still in the 140s at 148. This is the longest I have ever been in the 140s. I LOVE THEM! I love the way my clothes fit. I feel great. I am staying food sober and there is a confidence that comes with knowing I am eating healthy. I am not rationalizing away any unhealthy eating.

(That is -- not at the moment. I think in my brain there are still the ingrained neural pathways of using food to cope. I'm not using those pathways at the moment, and I, of course, do not want to ever start having those habits again. But I am not foolish enough to think that I am Cured For Life Yay. Due to the nature of how brains work and how life happens, I know it would be pretty easy for me to fall into bad habits, especially during any difficult times that may be in my future. I want to remain mindful and realistic, and not delude myself.)

I think I have some good habits going, nothing crazy. Just a simple routine of protein, veg and fat that is keeping me satisfied and leading to slow but comfortable weight loss.

Here's what is working:
  • Having a good Vitamin D summer.
  • 10000 steps daily
  • Food sobriety
  • Not taking even the first bite of foods that make me want to overeat
  • Magnesium supplement 200 mg, 3 times daily
  • Lots of water
  • Lots of mineral sea salt
  • Facing my bad habits, admitting to them and brainstorming better actions
  • Prepping individual servings of plain meat and having them ready in the freezer
  • Not fixating on food. Eat to live. Eat for health.
  • Focus on cultivating other hobbies, relationships, positivity and enjoyable dopamine/serotonin moments

Last edited by ElizabethLC; 08-27-2014 at 08:07 AM..
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