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Old 02-16-2014, 05:45 AM   #631
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How's it going? I'm up to 159 and know it's temporary...I'll bounce around for a while and then drop some more. Looking forward to warmer weather so I can get outside!

Stay positive, Jeanie! That's what we all need to do!
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Old 02-17-2014, 05:15 PM   #632
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Hi Susan
Doing well the last few days. I can't wait for spring!! We just got 20 inches of snow last week and tonight the forecast is calling for a couple more inches ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 02-18-2014, 02:47 AM   #633
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Glad to hear you are doing well! Spring will come eventually!
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Old 02-18-2014, 09:14 AM   #634
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeaniem View Post
Hi Susan
Doing well the last few days. I can't wait for spring!! We just got 20 inches of snow last week and tonight the forecast is calling for a couple more inches ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Glad to hear you're feeling better! i feel your pain about the snow too! We just got about 8 inches last night--ish.
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Old 02-18-2014, 10:37 PM   #635
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Hi Jeannie. Good to hear your doing well. I drove to florida to get away from the snow winter is tough on the psyche....
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Old 02-27-2014, 10:40 AM   #636
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Jeanie, just wanted you to know that I often wonder how are you doing. I hope you are managing well. I know it is not easy, Jeanie, but something will click one day.
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Old 02-27-2014, 03:24 PM   #637
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Hi Marika! Good to hear from you hope all is well.
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Old 03-06-2014, 04:45 PM   #638
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Maybe it is true?? Do I binge because I don't love myself or I am trying to forget or drown out my sadness due to the ongoing stress with my children. Thank you for suggesting this to me fellow LCF.
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Old 03-07-2014, 03:04 AM   #639
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Hi Jeannie. Glad you checked in.

Psychological or physiological or a combination of both, binge eating is self destructive. Why do we do it? Punishment? Sometimes. Self medicating? Most times for me. triggers? Self loathing? Often. Family stressors? Also often. But every time I give into that urge, I am once again a victim. I am reactive instead of proactive. I spent much of my life allowing myself to be victimize...ironically often by my own hand. It was (and I assume still is) my go to strategy for coping. Unlearning that is hard. Yoga has helped me tremendously but the one time I binged in the last 15 months I choose food and not yoga. At some point I am hopeful that when faced with the choice I will not choose food.
You're not alone. Keep fighting, keep searching
__________________
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Goals for 2014

Remain food-sane 1 day at a time
Continue with yoga
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Old 03-07-2014, 06:05 AM   #640
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Glad to see you Jeanie! Our kids can be a real pain in the butt! We can only guide them and set them free to make their own mistakes and hopefully learn from it. And then you can start to take care of yourself!
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Old 03-07-2014, 12:56 PM   #641
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Jeanie, I realize that everybody's reasons for binging are different. In may case, dieting makes me binge. I struggled so much with trying to stay LC and than trying to follow JUDDD, unsuccessfully for 2 years. Sadly, this is when I developed binging disorder. I have read in so many places not to restrict when you deal with binging disorder but I never accepted the fact. I was just trying to get to my goal weight.
I hope you find peace and solution for your issues
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Old 03-17-2014, 02:41 PM   #642
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Thanks for all the support Ladies
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Old 03-19-2014, 02:56 AM   #643
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Good to see you,! Hope you're doing well.
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Old 03-29-2014, 02:46 AM   #644
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Hi Jeanie

Poking my head in to see how you're doing
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Old 03-29-2014, 08:53 AM   #645
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Hi Lisa

I'm still trying! Hope you are doing well
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Old 05-01-2014, 05:16 PM   #646
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My heart is broken, the very ones that have broken my heart are the very reason that I must go on and keep trying.
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Old 05-02-2014, 08:39 PM   #647
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Jeanie, what's going on? I'm sorry you're hurting. Sending positive thoughts your way.
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Old 05-11-2014, 10:05 AM   #648
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I feel like a failure in what is the most important job in the world...raising your kids to be competent adults. I don't like mother's day and have been close to or in tears all day.
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Old 05-12-2014, 03:05 AM   #649
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Hi Jeanie
What is happening? As moms, we do the best we can. There is no fail, only try. Kids don't come with instructions. We learn as we go. We make mistakes along the way. I will tell you this, I had an abusive father and a mother who was trying to save herself from an alcoholic in a loveless marriage. They were not great parents but they taught me many lessons. So, they didn't fail....as inept and incapable as they were. I had a choice- raise above or sink into the muck. Yes I have some battle scars but I also have a wealth if knowledge.
There is no fail Jeanie. We are only human, and as such...imperfect
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Old 05-14-2014, 06:46 PM   #650
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I am just a wreck concerning my kids and my emotions are on edge. My blood pressure and blood glucose are high and I am still eating crap, it's like I don't even really care all that much. I know I deserve better and so does my DH, but I just can't muster the strength or motivation. My youngest son is coming home in July after having being gone for a long time and spending the past 6 months in drug/alcohol rehab, He was in jail prior to the rehab, his return is stressing me out terribly. He seems like he has grown up and committed to staying clean, but I worry regardless. My oldest son (polar opposite of his brother) has never so much as smoked a cigarette, but will always need to live with us or someone else due to a brain injury from a car accident when he was 17. I know it could be worse but it is all too much right now. I am just so jittery and anxious and cry so easily. I was driving to the store tonight and was waiting at a red light and all of a sudden a gang of people chased some guy into the street in the lane lane next to me and started beating and kicking him, this really upset me and made me cry.

Last edited by jeaniem; 05-14-2014 at 06:48 PM..
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Old 05-15-2014, 03:02 AM   #651
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I'm sorry. My oldest son will also be dependent on us although the hope is to have him live nearby but independent (high functioning autism). I understand life is freakin' hard sometimes. I have those days/weeks too. You're not alone... And there is a virtual stranger in NY who really really cares about you. I'm hoping your son has successfully battled his drug and alcohol addiction. One less worry on your plate would help I'm sure. Lean on those close to you, breathe and trust yourself. Most importantly love yourself enough to take care of that beautiful soul that I can see even though we've never met. Your worth the effort
Stay well my friend
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Old 05-15-2014, 12:42 PM   #652
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Thank you for caring Lisa it means a lot to me. Today I numbed myself by eating a whole bag of chocolate pretzels a and a 14 oz pkg of vanilla cookies. The carbs make me drowsy and lazy which I know is acting like a drug in that I zone out doze off. I start each new day with hope but I just don't know how to push myself to care or get past the cravings.
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Old 05-15-2014, 02:51 PM   #653
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I understand that need to numb. I would convince myself that somehow it was better than drinking I'm often astounded by the lies I told myself.
Check in Jeannie. I'm here always here if you need to vent.
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Old 05-15-2014, 03:49 PM   #654
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Thanks Lisa. My bp today was 140/95 and after the cookie binge my bg at the three hour mark was 180 ugh. I have literally got to stop killing myself! I just spent sometime reading your journal and am inspired to get serious and am going to start the gaba, 5thp, and glutamine and chromium as well.
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Old 05-15-2014, 06:04 PM   #655
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I think I've asked you this before but have you ever tried yoga? Meditation? At the risk of sounding hokey I went to yoga kicking and screaming. My husband begged me for two years to go with him. I poo pooed it and even made fun of it. "Ooh, namaste my rear end" A year and a half later I can honestly say it changed my life... And saved me from myself. You don't even have to leave the house although practicing in a group is better. YouTube has beginner yoga videos and meditations. Some of the meditation stuff is way out there but if you can find one by deepak that would be a good place to start.
Going to my yoga classes has taught me how to be kind to myself...to honor this body and treat it as I would treat a friend.
This does not mean that I never fall back into those old patterns. I'm still learning but I can tell you this- I think yoga saved my life.
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Old 05-15-2014, 06:13 PM   #656
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I'll take your advice and start by picking up a yoga dvd and see how it goes.
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Old 05-25-2014, 11:10 AM   #657
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Are carbs really addictive, my drug of choice????

My family and what I see as their addiction(s)

Dad- alcohol

Mom- carbs- specifically sweets

Brother 1- crack

Brother 2 - sex

Brother 3- sweets/pain killer addiction

Sister- carbs/sweets

Maternal grandfather- alcoholic/ maternal grandmother-sweets

Aunt (mom's side)- alcoholic

Aunt (mom's side)- died of heroin overdose

Paternal grandfather- alcoholic

My son- alcohol (been clean for a while)


Last edited by jeaniem; 05-25-2014 at 11:11 AM..
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Old 05-25-2014, 02:53 PM   #658
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Jeanie
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Old 06-01-2014, 12:05 PM   #659
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[

Last edited by jeaniem; 06-01-2014 at 12:12 PM..
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Old 06-21-2014, 09:04 AM   #660
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Hoping to be at 140-ish tomorrow in order to meet my first mini goal. Probably will make it or darn close as yesterday I at low cal but had 92 carbs, I did exercise a lot though. I am in that phase where I have to be a little hungry to lose now, so yesterday it felt good to be full.
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