kat mommy a journal for winning

[kat mommy]

Just thought this time I will make it work.
I have never journaled but I feel it is a big step that I forgot the other times I have done low carb.
No, I am not new to this but I have never stayed on plan. For some reason things feel different. This is my life and I need to take action to make myself happy, healthy and fit.
Born in Washington State, lived 10 years in Germany and now have moved to Spain with my husband and two cats
I have been over weight all my life. Much of my weight issues stem from a childhood filled with abuse mental an physical.
I am also a binge eater and fight this each and every day. With low carbing I know my cravingings are in check and I feel better and have more energy.
My husband is loving and trys hard to support me .... he can eat what ever he likes and never gains( Grrrrrrrr!!).
I am trying to keep the big picture in mind and not make this a fast fight out of losing ..it ill come off but I have no idea when that day will be but I will get there.
I will try to post each day. I use fit day and this too is a big help. But the biggest help and insperation comes from this board

[brewstate]

You can do it!

[kat mommy]

Hi Elise Thanks Good to have the support You are doing fantastic !

About about me..60 years young , one wonderful hubby and two cat children.
I now live in Spain in the country side very slow and easy going ..but no it is not always sunny and warm in fact we have had the coldest winter i 40 yrs.
We have a veggie garden that keeps us busy and it is always wonderful to sit on the terrace and watch the goat herder and his goats..right now lots of babies running around and playing they can be so sweet . The shepards dogs know not to let the goats get in our garden..amazing they understand this.
Yesterday was a stressy day..we have friends staying at our rental house. So we had to have fod and drinks for all. Thank goodness I was able to do the cooking and prepare a few things I could eat like wonderful olives,fresh goat cheese , and smoked cured bacon ( Jamon ) that is soo fantastic. I had tea for me although I wanted to have the local sherry we have here..oh so yummy. But I stayed low carb for the most part..I did eat 2 fresh strawbrries. Today I felt the difference and was puffy this morning..400 gram gain. But I am sure it is water weight.
Today back on strickt A 72 and trying to drink lots of water.
Have a problem with tomorrow we must take friends out to dinner.. they are alway wanting me to have drink... I just have to dig my feet into the sand and say no.
The menue has a lor of fresh fish that is BBQ w/o any coating.... and I will ask them not to add potaoes but..this you never know if you will get them or not. Depends on the mood of the chef. But hubby is great and supports me when he remebers.
I have been toying with adding more carbs ,,but feel more safe tying to keep things under 15 . I have been on A72 befor ...but it cam off fairly fast and then having surgery. I just got off track and gained it back and more.
This time it is much slower..but I know it will come off if I stay true to myself ..it will take time and this time I am not in a hurry and have made my mind up that this is the only way to eat for the rest of my life.

Big day today I had to take in three pairs of pants ..they were my skinny pants and they were to BIG

[kat mommy]

Today off and running friends in from out of town. We will show them around a bit and then go out t dinner at a nice fish resturant... I am packing some goodies to take along... yes all low carb for me and the others.

I hope that this slow weight loss will speed up a bit..just seem to bounce around .

DH said he could really see that I have lost today!! Tht makes me feel good.
looks like I wll have trouble getting my 2O in today but other than that I can stay on plan.

[kat mommy]

Yesterday went out to dinner with friends.
I stayed on plan..passed on the beer, and french fries everyone was eating..had grilled squid with a cabbage,zucchini - carrots vegie mix.
But got home and I was soo hungry... had cheese,deli ham,HB eggs,coffee with cream ad green olives.
Big plus I was down .100 grams this A.M.
This plan works just need to believe and have patients.

[kat mommy]

Well things have started to move again..I am happy ..funny how numbers control us no matter where we are or who we are.

B- scrambles eggs and bacon
L- egg salad and dill pickle
D- chicken in a dried tomatoe sauce sm. salad w/o&v
snack maybe some cheese, dried salami or gr. olives

[kat mommy]

Well I tried a new recipe using pork rinds as breading for fried fish.
It was yummy BUT this morning I am up 600 grams.
I know it is water but still it is upsetting ..I will push the H2O .
Friends still here and I must go out to dinner again..I hate thisas I am always so tempted.
But the resturant has a good grilled fish plate I can order.
today menue
B- bacon & eggs
L- egg salad with dill pickle
D- grilled fish with a green vegie
snack cheese,salami and or green olives

The past few days I have been fuming over the past. I just can not seem to let things go. I still get so depressed when I think how my father use to tell me I caused his tires on his to always go flat and made the shocks on the car weak and if I was to sit in the car I had to sit in the middle so the car could absorb my weight!!
This still hurts ..and yes I was always over weight and was told I wa fat by relatives even teachers. But when I look at old pictures..sure I was over weight but never so heavy to cause problems with a car.
Today I am mad and I know I should let go but I just can not do it. Wish there was a way to heal myself..even going for counseling has never helped.
I am 60 years old but the child in me still hurts.

[kat mommy]

Today I am down again to my last weight .even after going out to dinner last night.
I stayed on plan had calimarie ( grilled) and shrimp pril- pril (in a garlic paprika sauce )
I did try to get my water in befor we went out.
So I did alright.
Today
B- eggs w/ parmesan
L- egg salad with dill pickle & Mayo
D- no idea ..will be late today( going into town) so maybe some ham & eggs.
Our budget is very tight so having meat two or three times ady is out of the question.
This also why I am sure I am not losing more than I am. But I will stay with LC ,I know it works .
We live in the countryside near Sayalonga Spain .so shopping must be planned ahead of time and we must always combine it with other things or other shopping. Here you just do not getin the car and go to the store because you forgot something, it is a half hour drive one way to the main shopping ..so stop think and make a list

[kat mommy]

Having a hard time getting to the journal on weekends
But once again I am just bouncing along on a low.... sigh I feel depressed over this.
I have stay on plan ..but find he nights hardest and I am hungery and if I even eat
low carb I will either gain because of water weight or just to much food!!
I try to keep carb at 15 or lower..thinking if I should raise them..I am afraid of gaining.
Yesterday we had Spanish Chirizos..they are wonderful but so much salt
B- eggs with parmesan
L- egg salad with dill pickle
D- baked cod with mayo and Parmesan crust.. slalad maybe some zucchini
snack... cheese,green olives,hard salami or HB egg
lots of water..will try to push more today because of all the salt yesterday.

[kat mommy]

Yesterday was a bad day !!!!
I fell off the wagon,,I have been Hungry for about a week and I went on an eating frenzy.
Bread,bread pudding ,jam in amounts I can not remember. I am a binge eater and it got the best of--ths is such an evil animal inside of me and I try hard each every day to keep it caged. But I was alone and it got loose.
Today I am sad,mad and up 1 kilo in weight.
But what is strange..today I am not hungry for the first time in days!
I hope this binge will start the weight loss again..but this is a slippery slope for me.
I can not eat without plannig befor hand each and everyday.
On top of all this ..I have roseca and the carbs from flour products cause me to break out! I know I can not eat carbs like normal people but . Some days are so hard ..sigh

[kat mommy]

Today my weight is down but still not to the weight of a week ago..but at least it is going down.

B- scrambled eggs with parmesan
L- tuna fish(in oil drained) mayo,dill pickle and a HB egg
D- curry with LC veggies,pork and coconut milk
snack..green olives,lc mocha

I am still have trouble with thoughts of the past and still feeling hurt. I have a very hard time letting go of hurtful things even way back to my childhood.
I have a fantastic husband who loves me just the way I am and support is always there with no questions asked. For the first time in my life I am lucky to real love in life. It feels like yesterday,,but it has been 10 wonderful years. Sure we have our ups and downs. I go to sleep each night and thank my Higher Being for bringing him into my life.

[kat mommy]

On the way down again.
I have been reading about JUDD ,,But I do not think it is for me.
I am a binge eater and this just leads to trouble and bad habits for me.
Will stay with A72 even though it seems painfuly slow.
B- eggs with ham and cheese
L- egg salad with dill pickle.
D- LC Mexicali Quich ,lettuce and Ranch dressing
snack.. maybe some cheese and LC home made mocha.

Keep busy during the day but the evenings are awful and I am always looking for something eat... nights I am always hungry ..
Today made a celery tea to help with H2O ..it is pretty yukky,but drink it fast it is OK.
It seems to help
Now I need to see if I can find celery seeds here ....
I am able to get a few LC products here but it is cheaper to eat gold
One good thing..the cost keeps me from eating Franken Foods.

[kat mommy]

What can I say
just mad and depressed..... weight back up again!!
I am trying hard to stay away from salt.
This not as easy as it seems.. most foods we can aford have a lot salt.
I am getting sick of eggs and buying extra mesat is not in our budget... I do not know what to do. I am afraid to up my carbs.
B- eggs ham cheese,mayo
L- egg salad,dill pickel
D tuna burger,cucumbers and home made tarter sauce,ranch dressing
snack..green olives,cheese,HB egg or lc mocha

[kat mommy]

I have been seriously thinking of doing a fat fast....
The bigger weight is coming off so slow and t is making me depressed.
Although I was down a bit today it is still not where I want to be.
Yesterday has a 1Min.Muffin and I forgot how nice they can be.
I also tried to up my fat in take. I can not get coconut oil here ( maybe in one of the Asian stores). But we have a very limited budget and I am afraid it will b out of my expence range.
B fried eggs and bacon
L- egg and chicken salad
D- hambuger with cheese salad with ranch
if fat is still low will have some cheese and LC mocha

[kat mommy]

Today I was up just a bit but I think it was the salt I had.
I am still thinking about doing a fat fast. I must plan this today if I want do it this week. We only go shopping once a week so I have to do much planning ahead of time. Actually this is best and I am not tempted to get in the car and go pick up this and that ..or worse yet hit the fast food places. We live in the country and all shopping and errans are done once a week.
B- eggs with cheese,added another Tb. of butter for extra fat.
L- egg salad,extra Tb. mayo, dill pickle
D- pacific cod with mayo & parma. cheese, creamy cucmber salad
sack maybe some bacon,LC mocha,HB egg

[kat mommy]

Hi there
Today is a Holiday and TV has 24 HR rock music...sooo coool
The Stones in the background..singing Beast of Burden!!
The look soo young..No Wrinkles I swear they are all dinosauers
But ya gotta luv em!

Still trying to make my mind up about doing a fat fast.
Sure would like anyones in put on this..have you done it and did it work ?
I have looked at Judd but it is just a slippery slope for a binge eater.
I have extra bacon in the frig today.. That will be lunch..maybe a HB with mayo.

[girondet]

Hi, just want to say hello and offer encouragement. Your meals look to me like you should be losing weight, so I sure understand why you might want to shake your metabolism up a bit with a fat fast. I tried it once, when my weight loss stalled, but could not make even one day. I used to be a binge eater, and I find that making consistent, permanent changes where I'm satisfied, not hungry, and can easily maintain works best for me. It was a long slow process though and if I'd tried to do it all at once, I never could have.

It seems like we just eventually have to figure ourselves out, physically and psychologically
But the rewards are so worth it. You can do it!

[girondet]

Loooove Beast of Burden, lol. Your avatar is so cool...

[kat mommy]

Hi Girondet
So nice you dropped by.
Wow, you have done so well, be proud of your hard work!!
I know you will make goal..you have come so far Bravo.
Thanks so much for your encouragement and wisdom

[girondet]

You will make it you will be proud, and thanks

[kat mommy]

Good morning world
Well did a lot of reading and thinking... I will try the Fat Fast for 4 days and see if my weight will start to move down.
Going shopping today and will get what I need.... DH will to have fend for himself He is not much of a cook and better if all is just heat in the microwave.
Weight is just bouncing and this is driving me crazy..I stay low carb..usally under 15. I have had a couple bad days where the binger inside came out. But,this time I have been able to dust myself off and get back on track the very next meal. I consider this a major breal threw for me..usally a binge would mean days of eating untill I was sick... now it has been just a few things and only one meal. I feel I am making progress
B- eggs & Bacon
L- egg salad & dill pickle
D- pork steak,small salad w/ blue cheese dressing
snack LC mocha ,HB eggs maybe some cheese

[kat mommy]

Hello
OK this snails pace is just making me mad and I need to loose this weight just a bit faster.
I think after all the years of yo-yoing I have really messed up my metabolism anlong with my age catching up withme.
So 'Drum Roll' it will be Fat Fast for days then add another 200 cals for a week...then back to Induction.
Please give the strength to do this and loss of weight
I will 200 fat cal every 3 hours.
today
2 bacon,1 egg,1/2Tb. butter
1oz. chicken,1Tb.mayo,1/2oz. cream cheese
1oz. walnuts
1egg,1egg yolk,1/2 Mayo,1/2Tb H.cr. ,coffee
1 choco mousse

[kat mommy]

Well yesterday was day one of my Fat Fast .. down only -.100 kilos
not the loss I was looking for but at least it is going down.
menue
B- 1 egg,2bacon,1/2 Tb. butter
snack 1 oz. walnuts
L- 1 egg,1 yolk,1Tb. Mayo,1/2oz. cr. cheese
snack 3 bacon, 1oz. Cr. cheese or 2oz. cr. cheese
D- 1 oz chicken,1Tb. Mayo,1/2 oz. cr. Cheese

For those reading my journal..I am sorry for the spelling mistakes. I think faster than I write ..then run off to do this and that. Please bare with me... my typing teacher begged me never to become a secretary

[kat mommy]

Just dropping by to say hi!
I am doing well and not hungry during this Fat Fast
Just had a big DUH moment!!! after reading a great post... the person was just not losing weight for a couple months. She then firured it out it was the articfial sweetners she was eating. Why didn't I think of this
So as of this moment no more sweetener!!

[BluJ]

Hang in there! I don't have a problem with sweetners. Could it be something else?

[kat mommy]

Hi BluJ
I did some more reading in my Atkins book about sweeteners..and this one item along with cream,cheese and olives that tend to slow weight loss.
So I will see how it goes without them for a bit.Today after 2 days on a Fat Fast I am down 1.2 kilos
I will stay with it for a couple more days..this is the most I have lost in months and I am happy with it.

B- eggs & bacon
snack walnuts
L- 1HB egg,1 yolk,1/2T. Mayo ,1/2 T ceam and coffee
D- either eggs and bacon or some chicken with Mayo & cream cheese
snack 2oz.cream cheese

[BluJ]

Good for you!!! You may be eating too much cheese. I think they recommend 2 or 3 oz. a day? Also, I would give up the nuts. If you're on induction, they're not allowed. I will keep checking back to see how you're doing!

[kat mommy]

Hi BluJ
Thanks for the help.
I keep my cheese level at 2 oz. or less as this can trigger a binge in me.
I normaly do not eat nuts .... I have to portion them out and eat only once a day.
I am doing a Fat Fast according to Dr. A so far ,things are moving downward.
Last night was not good ,stayed up later than usal and got very hungry.... had some chicken with mayo and 1 oz. cheese.
Down only .2 kilos this AM.
But I think you are right...it could be the cheese slowing me down. I also feel it is sweeteners. I drink a lot of tea and have used up 10 tabs a day ( Not Good)
Today I will stick with the Fat Fast up to dinner.
Then go back to induction by the Book keeping carbs under 20 grams but try to keep the
fat level a bit higher (75-80%)

B- eggs,bacon and butter
snack - walnuts
L- chicken salad with mayo & cr.cheese
snack-HB egg ,Mayo coffee with cream
Dinner- eggs,bacon,butter

Today will be a challange we need to go see friends on some matters..But they always have sweets etc. and get very upset if you do not eat.
I will tell them I have allergies to wheat and leave it at that. I am never willing to talk about nutrition to anyone. I have a degree in food science and it just burns my pants how ignorant most people are, sorry but this also goes for most dietians and nutrionists.

[BluJ]

Just hang in there.. You shouldn't be that hungry when low carbing. There's gotta be something you're eating that causes it. I have to force myself to eat. LOL!

[kat mommy]

Hey BluJ thanks for the support.. I have neen LC off and on for many years. But this time I feel different about it and I will get to my goal and stay there.
I can not understand why I am hungry..it was not that way befor.
One thing that stands out is I am older, and now past the menapause stage ( that is wonderful). I am sure my metabolism has slowed way down due to this.
But also it is partly because I have not stayed with LC and this has a way of coming back to Bite you. I have done a Fat Fast and I am down 3.5 Lb. that is great.
I have now started induction and will try not to go over 1200 cals and stay under 15 carbs for a week and see how that goes..also will use more fat in hopes that will keep the hunger at bay.
I am getting there and I have had to take in all my pants and a couple are to big already.
So I am shrinking, it is the scales that need to catch up.