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Old 04-01-2012, 09:18 PM   #1
Way too much time on my hands!
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Planet Jen
Posts: 11,097
Gallery: Jennifer
WOE: Atkins
Start Date: on and off, up and down since 1/30/07
200 Lbs. Gone, A Lifetime To Go!

206.5 lbs to be exact I've Lost 200 lbs!

I decided to get on the scale this morning for the first time in months and set my goal at 20 lbs less than whatever the scale said, so 125 it is. I really don't think I have to lose 20 more pounds, but I am a binger and wanted to give myself some wiggle room, just in case. I know that's not the healthiest attitude to have, but for now it is what it is.

I decided to start a journal because I feel good about setting a goal, and having something concrete to work toward rather than thinking I will "just know" when I'm there. And I feel confident that I will get there.

Menu for Today:
b - 2 scrambled eggs with cheese, 2 sausage patties, 3 tomato slices, 2 cups of coffee w/cream & splenda at The Egg & I
l - grande Starbucks coffee w/hwc & 3 splendas
d - turkey breast, salad (2 cups lettuce, 2 slices bacon, 2T 3 cheese dressing), 1 can caffeine-free diet Coke

Good: stayed on plan!
Bad: way too much coffee!

Mood: optimistic and confident
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Old 04-02-2012, 12:21 PM   #2
Way too much time on my hands!
 
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Missouri
Posts: 10,589
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Stats: 282/ working on it /140?
WOE: seaching for the right plan for ME
I love your story Jennifer!!! You are a great inspiraiton to us regular folks who don't always do things perfectly! FANTASTIC JOB!!!

Good luck with the rest of the story!! I, for one, will be watching and following you..
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Old 04-03-2012, 06:26 AM   #3
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Start Date: on and off, up and down since 1/30/07
Thanks Deb! Good luck to you!
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Old 04-03-2012, 06:31 AM   #4
Way too much time on my hands!
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
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WOE: Atkins
Start Date: on and off, up and down since 1/30/07
Monday April 2nd

Weight: 144

Menu:
b - 3 eggs scrambled in butter, cheese; coffee w/HWC, 2T DaVinci's
l - turkey breast
d - 2 bunless cheeseburgers w/mayo & mustard, Caesar salad, .5 can diet Coke
2 pieces sugarless gum, 67.6 oz water
1,709 cal, 14.7 carbs

Good: Food was on point!
Bad: Not enough water, but it's hard for me to get it all in while I'm at work

Mood: Between boss & DH being jerks I wasn't in a good place emotionally, but I didn't turn to food.
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Old 04-03-2012, 08:05 AM   #5
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: The Great Lakes State!
Posts: 4,436
Gallery: MagieDen
Stats: Goal Wt-135 lbs! (-8 lbs.)
WOE: Stillman's - Not my lifetime woe!
Start Date: 7/28/14 - 8/17/14
on the weightloss. Like Deb I will be following your journal.


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Old 04-03-2012, 09:41 AM   #6
Way too much time on my hands!
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
Thanks Deb! Good luck to you!
Thank you Jennifer!! I have your story printed out and keep it at my desk here at work, and also at home... I love success stories and I love how HUMAN you are... not perfect..

Maggie, we have lots to learn!
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Old 04-04-2012, 10:00 PM   #7
Way too much time on my hands!
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MagieDen View Post
on the weightloss. Like Deb I will be following your journal.


Thanks Maggie!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deb294evr View Post
Thank you Jennifer!! I have your story printed out and keep it at my desk here at work, and also at home... I love success stories and I love how HUMAN you are... not perfect..

Maggie, we have lots to learn!
I am nothing if not human....and perseverant!
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Old 04-04-2012, 10:10 PM   #8
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Join Date: Jul 2002
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WOE: Atkins
Start Date: on and off, up and down since 1/30/07
Catching Up...

Tuesday, April 3rd:

Weight: 145.5

Menu:
b - 4 slices bacon, coffee w/hwc & davinci's
l - turkey breast
d - chicken breast sauteed in butter, salad (2 c lettuce, 2 slices bacon, 2T SW Chipotle dressing)
92.5 oz water, 1 can diet coke w/splenda, 2 pieces sugarless gun
1,078 cals, 12.1 carbs

Wednesday, April 4th:

Weight 144.5

Menu:
b - 3 eggs scrambles in butter, cheese; coffee w/hwc & davinci's
l - turkey breast
d - chicken breast sauteed in butter, Caesar salad
65.7 oz water, 1 can coke zero, 1 piece sugarless gum
1,444 cals, 11.3 carbs

Even though I've only been serious again for a few days, I feel in the zone and can feel the momentum. Hope I can keep it going!
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Old 04-06-2012, 03:04 AM   #9
Way too much time on my hands!
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
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WOE: Atkins
Start Date: on and off, up and down since 1/30/07
Thursday April 5th

Weight: 144.5

b - 4 slices bacon; coffee w/hwc & 2 splendas
l - 2 turkey & provolone roll-ups w/mayo
d (out) - bowl of onion soup (ate around the bread), salad, diet Coke, cappuccino
84.5 oz water, 1 piece sugarless gum

Mood: Pretty good day, but started out stressful because of a bad day the day before.

I'm heading to New Orleans in a couple of hours for a wedding/Easter. I baked cookies for the pet/house sitters and didn't eat any; not even any dough!!
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Old 04-06-2012, 05:17 AM   #10
Way too much time on my hands!
 
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Missouri
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Stats: 282/ working on it /140?
WOE: seaching for the right plan for ME
Great job on not eating those cookies!!! Enjoy your trip!
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Old 05-06-2012, 09:00 AM   #11
Way too much time on my hands!
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Planet Jen
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WOE: Atkins
Start Date: on and off, up and down since 1/30/07
So, this past month has not been good. I've been binging like crazy and feel gross & bloated and my clothes don't fit. I need to get a grip.

Almost anything sets me off these days: making a mistake a work (boss' lack of communication + my lack of self-confidence [partly due to boss' lack of communication] = mistakes), getting impatient with employees, etc. Even my clothes not fitting is a trigger, which is really messed up...can you say vicious circle???? I always want to be perfect, and someone my employees feel they can come to for help and advice without getting their head bit off, and I am so not that person these days. Here's my thought process: made a mistake/was snippy with someone; that's not the person I want to be - I am 'Bad Jen'; 'Bad Jen' binges, so since I have already been 'Bad Jen' today, I will binge Only 'Good Jen' doesn't binge, and I have not had many, if any, 'Good Jen' days lately. It's total self-sabotage; I hate myself for being stupid and a b---, so I'll hate myself all the way and be a binging, stupid b---

I wish I could just concentrate on stopping the binges, even if it means eating off plan when cravings hit. But my wedding anniversary is later this month, and DH & I have a tradition of checking into a luxury hotel here in town and hanging out by the pool, having a nice dinner, etc. Reservations have been made, so I need to stay on plan to lose the weight that I have gained.
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Old 05-07-2012, 06:17 AM   #12
Very Gabby LCF Member!!!
 
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: The Great Lakes State!
Posts: 4,436
Gallery: MagieDen
Stats: Goal Wt-135 lbs! (-8 lbs.)
WOE: Stillman's - Not my lifetime woe!
Start Date: 7/28/14 - 8/17/14
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Old 05-09-2012, 05:35 AM   #13
Way too much time on my hands!
 
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Missouri
Posts: 10,589
Gallery: Deb294evr
Stats: 282/ working on it /140?
WOE: seaching for the right plan for ME
You may not know us Jen, but we are all rooting for you!!..
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Old 05-09-2012, 05:22 PM   #14
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,923
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Stats: 276/221/199
WOE: Atkins
Start Date: April 2012
You can do it!! If nothing else, you can always be proud of the fact that you have lost 200 pounds!! I mean, that's AMAZING. If you can do that, you can do anything.
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Old 05-11-2012, 10:28 PM   #15
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Join Date: Jul 2002
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WOE: Atkins
Start Date: on and off, up and down since 1/30/07
Thank you all for the encouragement!

I'm still stressed, but no binging in almost a week so I can feel good about that at least. Tonight I had a glass of wine, 2 pieces of bread, and way too many sweet potato fries at dinner, but I'm not going to let that turn into a free-for-all.

My main goals for this week are to drink more water and to exercise.
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Old 05-12-2012, 02:57 AM   #16
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Good job! I'm 3 pounds away from the 140's. Stuck in a stall. This too shall pass. I hope!!'
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Old 05-13-2012, 08:05 PM   #17
Way too much time on my hands!
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BluJ View Post
Good job! I'm 3 pounds away from the 140's. Stuck in a stall. This too shall pass. I hope!!'
Good luck breaking your stall! They are so frustrating Hope you see the 140's soon!
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Old 05-13-2012, 08:22 PM   #18
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Join Date: Jul 2002
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Start Date: on and off, up and down since 1/30/07
I binged all weekend. I'm really hating myself right now.

Warning - vent/tantrum more suitable to a 2 year old than a 40 year old ahead

People are always posting about how they tell themselves that they may eat anything they want but they choose to only eat l/c. I get that having that attitude gives you the control, and I guess that is helpful to some, but I cannot play those mind games with myself any longer. My reality is that I have no control over certain foods and not being able to eat them is not a choice I am making freely, it is a choice that my genes, metabolism, whatever is forcing me to make. I don't want to make that choice and I hate that I have to, but there it is. It seems verboten around here to call this WOE a diet but that's what it is for me, and I feel restricted and resentful and hate it. And I hate that deciding to have 1 meal off plan turns into a lost weekend for me. HATE IT!!!!!

So, as long as I still have weight to lose, this is indeed a diet for me. Something I will no doubt go off and on, but hopefully remain on more than off. No more one meal, one day at a time. It's going to be on/off, black/white, good/bad. Diet mindset all the way.
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Old 05-14-2012, 02:04 AM   #19
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That happens to most of us! You've done a fantastic job losing over 200 pounds. You deserve a cheat once in a while.
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Old 05-15-2012, 08:50 PM   #20
Way too much time on my hands!
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
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Posts: 11,097
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WOE: Atkins
Start Date: on and off, up and down since 1/30/07
Quote:
Originally Posted by BluJ View Post
That happens to most of us! You've done a fantastic job losing over 200 pounds. You deserve a cheat once in a while.
The cheating doesn't bother me but the binging does. Sunday I ate a 19 oz bag of M&M's. That's the big party-sized bag.
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Old 05-15-2012, 09:06 PM   #21
Way too much time on my hands!
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Planet Jen
Posts: 11,097
Gallery: Jennifer
WOE: Atkins
Start Date: on and off, up and down since 1/30/07
Today's Menu:
b - 4 slices of bacon, coffee w/cream & davinci's
l - steak
d - chicken breast sauteed in olive oil, salad (lettuce, cherry tomatoes, bacon, asiago peppercorn dressing)
grande coffee from Starbucks w/cream & splenda, 1/2 can diet Dr Pepper, 1/2 can Fresca, 2.5 l water
Need to increase water & really make an effort to get up early to exercise.

I was tempted twice today - cupcakes at work and dark chocolate at the grocery store. But I remembered that I am in complete diet mode right now and passed. It's a big step for me, because even though I'm in diet mode, I'm not going to start weighing or tracking until June 1st. Weighing and tracking food means "all in" for me, and I'm an all or nothing person, so it would have been so easy to have the attitude that since I'm not all in I can splurge. I'm reading a book called Brain Over Binge. The author cured herself of binge eating by discovering that the part of her brain that is responsible for our very basic functions and needs (breathing, hunger, etc), or the animal brain, is what was causing her urges to binge. She had given in to the urges for so long, that her brain thought binging was a need for her survival, like breathing. She trained the more logical, or human, side of her brain to overrule the animal side when it came to the urge to binge, and she eventually lost that urge. I used that to avoid eating off plan quite a few times today. I hope it continues to work for me.
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Old 05-16-2012, 02:33 AM   #22
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I hope so too!
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Old 05-16-2012, 10:00 PM   #23
Way too much time on my hands!
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Planet Jen
Posts: 11,097
Gallery: Jennifer
WOE: Atkins
Start Date: on and off, up and down since 1/30/07
Wednesday's Menu:
b - 3 eggs scrambled in butter topped w/melted pepper jack cheese, coffee w/cream & davinci's
l - 2 roast & provolone roll-ups w/horseradish
d - sausage, mayo, 1/2 cup cherry tomatoes, caesar salad
2.5 l water, bottle of s/f iced tea, 1 can diet Pepsi

My boss is on vacation so that took away a lot of my stress for the day. Even though he IM'd me all day, I could pretend to be away from my desk when I was in the middle of something else There was chocolate birthday cake with chocolate icing at work and I wasn't even tempted
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Old 05-17-2012, 09:18 PM   #24
Way too much time on my hands!
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Planet Jen
Posts: 11,097
Gallery: Jennifer
WOE: Atkins
Start Date: on and off, up and down since 1/30/07
Thursday's Menu:
b - 2 sausage patties, coffee w/cream & davinci's
l - 2 roast beef & provolone roll-ups w/mayo
d - chicken breast sauteed in olive oil, 1/2 cup cherry tomatoes, salad w/bacon & asiago peppercorn dressing
2 l water, 1 can diet cherry 7-up, grande coffee from starbucks w/cream & splenda

Hanging in there. No major cravings or urges to eat off plan, but these 4 days back on plan have seemed like forever
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Old 05-18-2012, 01:23 AM   #25
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Good job!! Hang in there!
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Old 05-20-2012, 08:45 PM   #26
Way too much time on my hands!
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Planet Jen
Posts: 11,097
Gallery: Jennifer
WOE: Atkins
Start Date: on and off, up and down since 1/30/07
I made it through the weekend binge free & cheat free!!! I haven't been able to do that in about 3-4 weeks. I did eat more today that I should have. Baked a turkey breast and kept breaking off pieces of skin (my favorite part ) way past the point of my hunger being sated. I could feel the compulsion, and finally just had to tell myself NO!

Next weekend I will be eating off plan quite a bit, but since I won't be home binging won't be an issue. I only binge at home. Knowing that next weekend is a free weekend made it easier for me to resist this weekend. That and the fact that my smallest jeans no longer fit.
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Old 05-20-2012, 10:12 PM   #27
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Live from beautiful downtown Laguna Beach
Posts: 163
Gallery: SrfrGirl
Stats: Goal: 125 lbs.
WOE: Stillman's & Zero Carb
Start Date: 5/20/12 restart 12/23/12
I'm so happy for you. And I'm inspired!
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Old 05-22-2012, 08:51 PM   #28
Way too much time on my hands!
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
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WOE: Atkins
Start Date: on and off, up and down since 1/30/07
Quote:
Originally Posted by SrfrGirl View Post
I'm so happy for you. And I'm inspired!
Thank you! I'm glad to be an inspiration, and it makes me feel good that I can inspire some people. If nothing else, I am a lesson in perseverance! That is why I post it all - the good, bad, and ugly. I really want people to realize and understand that it doesn't matter how long the journey takes, or how many detours, the important thing is to stay focused and concentrate on the destination.
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Old 05-22-2012, 08:56 PM   #29
Way too much time on my hands!
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Planet Jen
Posts: 11,097
Gallery: Jennifer
WOE: Atkins
Start Date: on and off, up and down since 1/30/07
Tuesday's Menu:
b - low carb tropical fruit yogurt, coffee w/cream & davinci's
l - 2 turkey & provolone roll-ups w/mayo
d - chicken breast sauteed in butter, cherry tomatoes, salad w/bacon & asiago peppercorn dressing
2.5 l water, 1 can diet coke w/splenda, tall starbucks coffee w/cream & splenda

I was in a seminar all day, and there were bowls of candy everywhere I was tempted for about 1/2 a second, then realized I didn't really want anything once I got past that initial (habitual?) craving. But I'm still craving red velvet cake & if DH & I end up at a restaurant that serves it this weekend, well, it's mine Actually, it's the cream cheese icing I'm craving, so I may just make some with splenda call it a day.
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Old 05-25-2012, 11:28 PM   #30
Way too much time on my hands!
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Planet Jen
Posts: 11,097
Gallery: Jennifer
WOE: Atkins
Start Date: on and off, up and down since 1/30/07
Still hanging in there. I keep fantasizing about what I'm going to eat this weekend. I'm not going to eat 'just because', but I'm not going to turn anything down either. I just wish that I could have a free, but not crazy, weekend without my clothes being tight. So many people eat the way I'm planning to this weekend without any consequences, but I bloat up from a little bread, not to mention sugar. I really hate the unfairness of it. But I guess not enough to stay cheat free, so....

Thursday:
b - 3 eggs scrambled in butter topped w/pepper jack cheese, coffee w/cream & splenda
l - turkey slices
d - sausage, mayo, cherry tomatoes, salad w/bacon & asiago peppercorn dressing
2.5 l water, crystal light raspberry ice

Friday:
b - Greek yogurt, coffee w/cream & splenda
l - turkey slices
d - chicken breast sauteed in butter, caesar salad
2.5+ l water, can diet Dr. Pepper, tall starbucks coffee w/cream & splenda

Greek Gods yogurt was new to me. I tried the full fat, and while I like the taste better than Fage, I like Fage's creamier texture better.

My smallest jeans are still tight, but I wore them to work today anyway, with a big shirt to disguise the muffin top.

I'm going to get on the scale tomorrow I'm very apprehensive, but I found a National Holiday Challenge on the century club board that looks interesting. The idea is to set a goal to work toward from one holiday to the next. I'm thinking of weighing only on the holidays, and my first goal from Memorial Day to July 4 is to stay binge free. I was going to start going all-out in June with weighing myself & food and tracking, but I don't think I'm going to; just not feeling it right now. I told myself that I'm going to eat any birthday cake offered to me at work, if I want it, but in the other hand a friend wants to do a clean 2 week Induction starting next week and I kind of want to join her. Don't know what to do - I just want a normal relationship with food
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