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Old 09-30-2012, 06:46 PM   #361
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Jen You do have friends. We are your friends. Maybe you don't see us in RL but we are here for you. Feel free to treat us as such. You are welcome to whine, complain or just gab. I think you have lots of friends on here and you just are not aware of it.

I like what you just wrote. I think there are probably more things that you are good at than you have noted. Sometimes we get in a rut when we look through a telescope at our life instead of with eyes wide open. I think you have a good gift to writing out your feelings on here. I am not so good at that. I think there is probably lots lots more.

HUGS!!!!!!! We love you Jen!!
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Old 09-30-2012, 06:55 PM   #362
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Originally Posted by LCinFL View Post
I you Jen!! Minor set back, you can get back on track. I should listen to that advice too. lol
Thanks Heather!

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Originally Posted by NWLoser View Post
Jen I am also hugging you from afar. You are a worthy person and don't let this sidetrack define you. You are worthy and you are a good person. Don't let this be a time to beat up on yourself. I have been there and I know how horrible it made me feel about myself. But it is just a minor blip on the fullscreen of life. You will do better and you are a great great role model. Congrats on the jeans and shirt sizes!! That is something you should be proud of and let that define you instead of your actions today. You are a walking testament of how well you have done. No one can see inside you that you might have had a slight setback. October is a new month and I am on board with you and Pam. I am going to try to be binge free. I struggle the most on the weekend. Some times I win sometimes I lose.

I hope the endo gets your thyroid meds adjusted. I am always cold but they say my medicine is the correct dosage. I wonder...
Thank you Dianne. I'm trying not to beat myself up, but I'm thinking that's more denial than any personal growth There will be plenty of beating myself up tomorrow when I get on the scale and then try to find something that fits.

Although I want to get my meds optimized so I feel better, I have to admit that when living in Houston being cold all the time isn't the worst thing in the world. Especially because I have to wear long sleeves and long pants because of my nasty hanging skin even when it is 100 degrees outside. The first question my dr asked me Friday was, "when everyone else in the room is comfortable how do you feel?" Answer: freezing! The a/c was broken in one section of my office & I had no idea Everyone else was complaining about the heat and I was clueless!

I appreciate you sharing that you are not always successful against the binge monster. One of the hardest things for me to accept is that getting to goal does not magically "fix" everything, as much as we wish it did.
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Old 09-30-2012, 06:58 PM   #363
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Jen You do have friends. We are your friends. Maybe you don't see us in RL but we are here for you. Feel free to treat us as such. You are welcome to whine, complain or just gab. I think you have lots of friends on here and you just are not aware of it.

I like what you just wrote. I think there are probably more things that you are good at than you have noted. Sometimes we get in a rut when we look through a telescope at our life instead of with eyes wide open. I think you have a good gift to writing out your feelings on here. I am not so good at that. I think there is probably lots lots more.

HUGS!!!!!!! We love you Jen!!
Thank you so much!!!! You made me cry
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Old 09-30-2012, 07:12 PM   #364
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Jennifer

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Old 09-30-2012, 07:48 PM   #365
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Jen,

I'm glad you have a plan. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail, right?

I understand so well the fear of regaining. I have done it loads of times. It's a valid fear but doesn't lessen who we are at the core even if we do gain again. I'm sorry you hate your job but I bet if you really sucked, you'd be gone. I am hating mine too but tell myself it's just a few more years til I can leave and get back to Houston. I hope you and DH weather this rough patch. Hugs to you on that Marriage is hard. And sweetie, WE are your friends! Not the same as nearby flesh and blood but we are here to listen, nod and understand. Family--that's a tough one. I don't have anyone nearby either and I hate it. And DH will be working out of town until the end of the year, the kids are gone. It's just me and the smelly dog.

I wish I could just aim a wand at you so you could see what we see! A funny, intelligent woman who has lost a lot of weight! But I'd still like you if you'd only lost 5 pounds! Get it? I was drawn to your journal because of your accomplishment but I stay checking in because I like you and care about what happens to you. The weight loss is now secondary.

Hugs, my friend.
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Old 09-30-2012, 09:15 PM   #366
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ellgee View Post
Jen,

I'm glad you have a plan. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail, right?

I understand so well the fear of regaining. I have done it loads of times. It's a valid fear but doesn't lessen who we are at the core even if we do gain again. I'm sorry you hate your job but I bet if you really sucked, you'd be gone. I am hating mine too but tell myself it's just a few more years til I can leave and get back to Houston. I hope you and DH weather this rough patch. Hugs to you on that Marriage is hard. And sweetie, WE are your friends! Not the same as nearby flesh and blood but we are here to listen, nod and understand. Family--that's a tough one. I don't have anyone nearby either and I hate it. And DH will be working out of town until the end of the year, the kids are gone. It's just me and the smelly dog.

I wish I could just aim a wand at you so you could see what we see! A funny, intelligent woman who has lost a lot of weight! But I'd still like you if you'd only lost 5 pounds! Get it? I was drawn to your journal because of your accomplishment but I stay checking in because I like you and care about what happens to you. The weight loss is now secondary.

Hugs, my friend.
I especially like your last paragraph above. I totally second this!! You are a funny, intelligent woman and we are drawn to your journal because we care. I also don't care if you lose more, I just care about what happens to you.

We are your "online family/friends". Anytime you are feeling alone, remember we are here for you and you are not on this journey alone.
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Old 10-01-2012, 05:02 AM   #367
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One of the hardest things for me to accept is that getting to goal does not magically "fix" everything, as much as we wish it did.

THIS is absolutely true for me! Throughout my (very long) weight-loss journey, I had no binge behavior at all, and I thought it would all be gone with the weight loss.

THEN maintenance arrived--and all my 'obese behaviors' returned. Why? I have no idea. Perhaps it was because I was suddenly less 'hard core' than I'd been. I didn't have any illusions about maintenance. I know the statistics and assumed it would be tough. But I didn't know it would be this tough!

But what are our choices? To continue to try to meet the challenges of maintenance--or regain all our lost weight? I know from experience how quickly I can gain, and I have a fear of regaining. There's a website (run by a female MD) called "Refuse to Regain." I've made that my motto--along with "Eternal vigilance is the price of maintenance."

In my experience, it's essential to avoid negative thinking and focus on the positive. You are more than your weight loss, although that loss is a spectacular accomplishment. I find that focusing on how my body feels now helps me stay on plan because it really is true that 'nothing tastes as good as thin feels.'

We can do this, Jennifer.

Last edited by Leo41; 10-01-2012 at 05:03 AM..
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Old 10-01-2012, 08:41 AM   #368
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Jenn - We all do love you, dear FRIEND

I was so releaved when I got to the party and the pools were only 3ft 6" deep. I still watch her like a hawk She my little girl, love her so much...

Jenn funny you said that you were going to reread Atkin's 72 again. As you know all my stuff is packed up and I couldn't find my copy even though I went through tons of boxes to find it. Anyway I ordered another book off amazon and it came yesterday. So excited to reread and start fresh this month. I love the KISS (keep it simple stupid) Hubby on board too. I am trying to copy the menus in the back of the book, with a few tweaks......

And yes rant anytime
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Old 10-01-2012, 12:56 PM   #369
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Hi Jennifer ~ Thinking about you today
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Old 10-01-2012, 03:51 PM   #370
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Coming in to say hi to everyone! I hope everyone is having a good day.

Jen New month - new day. you!
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Old 10-02-2012, 04:24 AM   #371
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Morning all

Jenn hope your having a good day. Rainy around here all day. Oh well......See ya.
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Old 10-03-2012, 05:13 AM   #372
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Hi all,

Well moving back down now the tom is moving out for a few weeks DH and I fighting. Mostly about the spiders. Just so frusterated......So doing well so far. Back down to 155 and holding. In a day or so I should be further down.

Have a great day.
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Old 10-03-2012, 12:29 PM   #373
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Hi Pam. Sounds good and on track. Spiders??? Does one of you like them and one not?? My husband hates them and they don't bother me at all. I just don't like the spiderwebs! LOL!

Jen Let us know how you are doing.
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Old 10-03-2012, 07:47 PM   #374
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Thank you all so much for the kind words. I really appreciate all of you!

I am not doing so well eating-wise, but oddly at peace with it. I think I finally got it through my thick skull that having candy stashes at home and at work is not a testimony to my will power, it is a disaster waiting to happen. Unfortunately the disasters did happen, but I will not replace what has been eaten.

I did lower my goal by several pounds to give myself binge wiggle room. Not proud of that, but it is what it is for now.

My DH is watching the debate & they keep mentioning legislation that I deal with all day at work. Can't get away!

Off to bed to sleep off the sugar fog.
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Old 10-04-2012, 05:16 AM   #375
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Hi all,

We both don't like these spiders. They are Black Widows, very deadly.....Just getting tired of all of this. I have ben living for 4 month in hell and I am done, really I am....Anyway, gained a pound. Don't what that is all about, but oh well. Can't even get mad at myself for eating something wrong because I haven't, so shouldn't get too upset I guess.

Have a great day
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Old 10-04-2012, 12:03 PM   #376
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Pam, I wouldn't like Black Widow spiders either! Icky! I hope you can get your housing situation straightened out and I hope the spiders are gone. As for the weight gain, it is very natural for your weight to go up a pound once in awhile even if you did nothing different. So don't stress it!

I hope everyone has a good day.

Jen - I found if there was a food that was a trigger or problem for me, I just had to ban it from the house. I would cave in and eat the whole thing at one time such as a jar of peanut butter. I don't have the problem with peanut butter now but I didn't have peanut butter in the house for a year or more. If there is sf candy in the house, I will eat it. So I plan if I am wanting some otherwise, none in the house. I have tried buying for example 10 Russell Stover Sugar Free Marshmallow Pumpkins and saying to myself, I will keep them in the house and just eat 1 or 2 a day. Well that didn't work last week. I ate them all in one day. Oh it was not worth it but I know I can talk myself into buying that many again and probably repeating the whole darned thing! I had such a gut ache and gas (sorry too much info) that my husband jokingly said how much did that "gas" cost you? He said I am the only person he knows that pays for their "gas". So usually, I did say usually, I buy just enough sf candy to eat at one time. But I slip up and you would think I would learn!

Have a great day everyone! It is sunny here and fall weather.

Last edited by NWLoser; 10-04-2012 at 12:05 PM..
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Old 10-04-2012, 10:17 PM   #377
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Spiders don't bother me, but let me see a roach (especially a flying one ) or a lizard, and I'm ready to move to the moon where there is no nature!

Pam - I wish I had known you needed a copy of Atkins '72. I have an extra I could have sent to you.

I am so beyond stressed I can't even get it straight in my head to post about or even talk to DH about. I was starting to tell him things & couldn't even get the words out. It's after midnight & my boss is e-mailing me as we speak - my blackberry is going nuts! One of my team leads got let go today & she called me 3 times (didn't answer because I suspected it was her), then I got an e-mail from her which confirmed the calls were from her. Then I got what I think was a drunk test from one of my employees in our Dallas office that I could not understand, but I think she is taking off for Corpus to find her son who may have been shot? Or maybe he was shot when he was in Iraq?

And I wonder why I'm binging
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Old 10-05-2012, 03:36 AM   #378
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Just want to say you are a huge inspiration to me and I love ya just form the little bits of info on here, we are all trying to reach the same goals, you have accomplished so much, you keep at it!!!!

I hear ya on the AC though, man I used to be a hot mess, now I am always freezing!!! LOL
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Old 10-05-2012, 06:04 AM   #379
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Thanks Jenn

Blew it yesterday Ok back today

Have a great day
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Old 10-05-2012, 10:52 AM   #380
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Hugs Jen!

Hope today is less stressful.

Hope everyone has a great Friday!!
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Old 10-05-2012, 03:15 PM   #381
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Hi Jennifer - Yikes, I hope you are having a better day

Do you get the weekend off ??
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Old 10-06-2012, 05:03 AM   #382
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Morning all,

Slept hard last night. Think I needed it I haven't been sleeping very well over the last 3 nights. Just too much stress around right now

Ok Jenn, did well yesterday how about you we can do this
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Old 10-07-2012, 09:46 AM   #383
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Well, I basically binged all last week. Mostly candy (I must have spent $20 on World's Finest Chocolate) and whatever I could scrounge out of the vending machines, candy cups at work, and birthday cake. Friday night DH & I had Chinese food and cake. Big mistake because I always have a horrible reaction to MSG (or something; this restaurant claims to not use MSG). I bloat terribly & feel pain in my whole body.

The "good" news is that I now have a cold and no appetite. All I had yesterday was yogurt, coffee, Nyquil & s/f cough drops.
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Old 10-08-2012, 02:05 AM   #384
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I hope you feel better. Hugs!
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Old 10-08-2012, 03:56 AM   #385
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Feel better Jennifer!!!!
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Old 10-08-2012, 05:36 AM   #386
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Feel better. Binged as well, bbq chips. The scale shows it today. Not too worried, I know what I did wrong now to be good all week and get back down.
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Old 10-08-2012, 06:14 AM   #387
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Thanks ladies! I am feeling a little better, and the Saints won But if it wasn't Monday (my busiest day) and if I didn't have a couple of team leads out today I would have called in sick. Pisses me off that I can't
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Old 10-08-2012, 06:26 AM   #388
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I can't taste, so no use in eating. Food as fuel? Nope. It's all pleasure to me. Except when I'm binging, then it's the enemy. We're BF(renemies)F's!

The bloat is going away, thanks to not eating for 2 days. I'm going to try to get away with not eating for as long as I can. I figure 5 days of binging should be undone with 5 days of not eating. I'm considering it my punishment for binging. Breakfast & lunch will be easy since I eat them alone, but dinner will be tougher. DH was trying to convince me to eat last night so I don't know how long I can hold out. Even 1 meal a day until I feel myself again will help. I'm not worried about any physical repercussions - my body can go without food for days

Really mad that I can't call in sick. And what's going to make me even madder is that my boss (who was out sick all last week but he is a vp to my lowly manager title), will say "why did you come in?" But if I don't, he will talk about me behind my back. I know because I've been the one he's talked to about others. Just don't want the drama.
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Old 10-08-2012, 07:44 PM   #389
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Feeling lousy, and not just physically Nothing to do with eating, food or my weight.

One of my employees bought me a box of World's Finest chocolate covered almonds. Another employee, S, is selling the candy, but didn't have the chocolate covered almonds, and M remembered I had mentioned that's what I wanted, so she bought a box from someone outside of work selling them. That was really very sweet of her, but I will give them to someone tomorrow when she is off.

So, I got my thyroid results - my thyroid is high! If it's high, shouldn't I be eating like a pig and not gaining? Only my life's dream The doctor wants to lower my dosage of meds. I guess if it slows my weight loss, hopefully it will make me feel better & I won't feel the need to binge.
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Old 10-09-2012, 01:49 AM   #390
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My understanding is that if your thyroid dosage is too high, it stimulates appetite--so it may indeed be causing you to binge, Jennifer.

Unfortunately, excess food gets stored as fat, whether it's stimulated by hormones or not.

You're probably not in the realm of something hyper like Graves Disease where you just lose weight like crazy. We hypothyroids have to be careful because too high a dosage can push us into hyper mode but usually not at the level where we lose weight--unfortunately.

I have a friend who had Graves Disease over ten years ago (he chose surgical removal of the thyroid to deal with it). He was at the time about 165 lbs, an ideal weight for his height. His weight dropped quickly to 142lbs, and he had every symptom of Graves, but it 'baffled' his military doctors for weeks. He became very concerned and thought he had cancer. Finally, a new doctor was assigned, very young, and he diagnosed the problem immediately.
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