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Old 09-09-2012, 08:51 AM   #271
Way too much time on my hands!
 
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Jennifer:

Here is thread for some of us that had skin removal surgery, or are considering it, somewhere in there are my arm and tummy pics, LOL

I want two more surgeris my thighs and my boobs,I was a 48 or 50 DDD and now a deflated 38C or D, so they are the next surgery I really want to get as low as I possibly can and hopefully have them done next Spring, he is going to clean up all the leftover like the skin where my bra hits and pushes up, he is going to be super aggressive and get that all off.

The thigh surgery is a little more scary they say the most painful, I need the lateral incision and not sure I want to deal with those scars so I might have to settle on my nasty legs!!!!!

Getting the surgeries was the best thing I did for myself, though!!!
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Old 09-09-2012, 08:51 AM   #272
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Excess Skin Removal Surgery?

Thread for the skin removal I forgot to post!
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Old 09-09-2012, 09:10 AM   #273
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Thanks Laura

I considered asking not to be weighed at my appointment Tuesday, but it is my first visit with this practice and I didn't know if that would appropriate, since I figured they would want a baseline weight. But I am not going to be afraid of the scale, I am going to own the number and deal with it.

Enjoy TJ'S! One opened in The Woodlands in July I believe, and one will be opening on S. Shepherd 9/21/12! That is only a few miles from my house (I am in Meyerland/Med Center area), and I cannot wait.
I am proud of you. And I know that with all your experience in this journey you realize that number is not YOU! You are far more than a number on the evil scale.

I had heard they were putting in that TJ's where the old Alabama Theater used to be. Can't even recall what it is now. Bookstore? I really love their products. Can't find things like this anywhere else.

And Meyerland/Med Center isn't far from my old stomping grounds! I grew up in Westbury and mom is still there. While some parts have gotten pretty sketchy, we are hoping to find a house somewhere in upper Westbury - between Braeswood and Willowbend going more toward 610. I went to nursing school at the UT Health Science Center so spent way too much time in the Medical Center and before moving up here worked as a labor and delivery nurse at The Woman's Hospital of Texas on Fannin.

Sorry - didn't mean to overflow on your journal about me......
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Old 09-09-2012, 09:11 AM   #274
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New Plan

OK, so I am really at a crossroads right now, and need to change things up a bit.

When I got back to l/c in 2007, my goal weight was 135. As I got closer, I knew that 135 was still too high of a weight, so I decided that at 135 I would start moving up the Atkins ladder rather than stay on perpetual Induction (when on plan - other setting is binging). In the meantime, I decided to be cheat free for the month leading up to Labor Day. It was hard but I did it, and that experiment showed me that restriction may not be what I need right now, that I had to work on developing a normal relationship with food. On Labor Day I weighed 134, but because I was going to try to develop a better relationship with food, I didn't go through with my previous plan of moving up the carb ladder. Instead I was going to listen to my body and eat what I wanted, when I wanted it - non-dieting. Period. This week has not been good. I have been eating things I don't need and didn't necessarily want, just because I could. Add into the mix a doctor's appointment Tuesday (scale stress!) and stress at work, and I have come too close to binging too many times. Since I still have weight to lose, I do think that restriction to an extent is what I need, but without the pressure of committing to staying cheat free or binge free until whenever.

So, I am putting it out there that today (Sunday) is a free day for me. I am going to eat what I want in quantities I want. Then starting Monday I will eat in a healthy, low carb manner. I'm not going to put pressure on myself to stay strict Atkins because I had bought/prepared some foods like guacamole, pico de gallo, yogurt and l/c tortillas in anticipation of my non-diet. I will still use ****** and journal, but I am not going to keep my binge free count any longer I will miss changing that number every night, but it is a pressure I do not need right now.

I will also weigh every morning starting tomorrow. I admit that I am petrified of what the scale will say and I am sure I will be disappointed in myself and may even cry. But, actions = consequences, so I will deal. And exercise, my nemesis, will be a part of this.

I will reevaluate at 125 lbs. Will that be goal? Will I start moving up the ladder? TBD, but I realize that I need some sort of structure and that winging it does not work for me, Capricorn that I am.
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Old 09-09-2012, 09:27 AM   #275
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EXCELLENT!

You have a plan and that gives rise to results. Good job! You can do this. Do not let the number tomorrow freak you out. It is going to be a combination of a lot of factors so note it and forget it. Once you LC for a few days it will come on down.

And seriously, do the similarities ever stop? Capricorn here too. January 8th. You? And I understand the need for structure. I get a little deer in the headlights without it.

How tall are you?
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Old 09-09-2012, 02:59 PM   #276
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Originally Posted by Bejewelme View Post
Excess Skin Removal Surgery?

Thread for the skin removal I forgot to post!
Thank you for that link...I somehow missed that huge thread! I read it and was horrified, enlightened, motivated, educated and scared to death!

You look great, and are so brave to share your story - pics and all! Your honesty and great advice was very illuminating to me.

Congrats on your marriage! You were a beautiful bride!
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Old 09-09-2012, 03:21 PM   #277
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I am proud of you. And I know that with all your experience in this journey you realize that number is not YOU! You are far more than a number on the evil scale.
I wish I felt that way. Unfortunately, I am my weight, and my weight is me. Basically I have no self-confidence and negative self-esteem, and I hate myself even more than usual right now since I feel that losing weight is the only good thing about me. So when I suck at that, I just feel that I suck at life even more.

We are totally going to be neighbors! I say I live in Meyerland because people know where that is, but I live a block off of Willowbend near S Post Oak. My FIL grew up 1.5 blocks from where we live (same street). You are much younger than he is, and from the looks of your avi younger than his youngest sister who is 52, but how funny if you were in school at the same time as she was!

Unfortunately I am very familiar with The Woman's Hospital of TX. Had many "fun" procedures there during my infertility treatments.

Yes, TJ's will be in the old Alabama Theater, which used to be a bookstore. It was vacant for quite a while so I'm glad they found such a fun use for it! I'm trying to figure out when will be the sweet spot between the grand opening and the holiday rush to check it out. Coincidentally, the Whole Foods I shop at in West U is in a former theatre also.

My birthday is Jan 11th and I am 5'2"-5'3" depending on who is doing the measuring, and I guess also depending on how good my posture is at the time I say I'm 5'3", but base my weight goals on 5'2".

Please post all you want!
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Old 09-09-2012, 04:01 PM   #278
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Jennifer it sounds like you got a plan, I am really getting strict tomorrow new job new routine so now is the time, I think being off the whole summer combined wiht quitting smoking I was eating too much and not exercising enough, so the 5 am M-F workouts are starting tomorrow too!!!!

We can do it!!!
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Old 09-09-2012, 06:31 PM   #279
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Hey friend! So how's your free day gone??

I'm so sad that your self esteem is so low. . And that you feel like all you are is the weight loss. That's just not true! Just in talking to you over the last couple of days I think you are smart and funny! I'm sure your DH knows of many more fine qualities. You don't suck at life! To me you are a winner. I'm very serious.

You live exactly where we want to look. And I follow city-data forums on Houston. That area is very desirable and as I've been watching the home prices are going up, up up!!! Hopefully by the time we get back the perfect place will magically appear!

I bet that TJ's will be packed for awhile. We've been waiting so long for them! Do you go to the Whole Foods on Bellaire? Again my old stomping grounds! Lived all around that area after leaving Westbury All this Houston talk makes me miss it and I've lived up here for 14 years!!!!

Our birthdays are so close! And I'm 5'3". Lol!
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Old 09-09-2012, 07:33 PM   #280
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bejewelme View Post
Jennifer it sounds like you got a plan, I am really getting strict tomorrow new job new routine so now is the time, I think being off the whole summer combined wiht quitting smoking I was eating too much and not exercising enough, so the 5 am M-F workouts are starting tomorrow too!!!!

We can do it!!!
Good luck with your new job, and WTG on quitting smoking!

5AM workout!!!
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Old 09-09-2012, 07:43 PM   #281
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I'm so sad that your self esteem is so low. . And that you feel like all you are is the weight loss. That's just not true! Just in talking to you over the last couple of days I think you are smart and funny! I'm sure your DH knows of many more fine qualities. You don't suck at life! To me you are a winner. I'm very serious.
Thank you

Free day was a bust, because instead of eating a couple of things that I really wanted I gorged on candy and I feel so You'd think I'd know better by now wouldn't you?

As you know, this is a great area to live in. We lived in Katy and than Pearland, so it's nice to be so close to everything now. There aren't many families with young kids since the schools aren't good, but that just keeps things quiet. And yes, "my" Whole Foods is the one on Bellaire.

So let's recap: birthdays only a few days apart, same height, living/have lived/will live in same area!
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Old 09-10-2012, 06:06 AM   #282
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Hi all,

I think I had a revelation myself. Jenn did the same thing yesterday, but drank watching football. Hum...Need to square things away and keep moving forward.

5am work out , wow. You go girl

I feel so tall around you gals. I am 5'7".
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Old 09-10-2012, 06:28 AM   #283
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Hi Pam,

Revelations are always good, as long as we follow through. But I'm stubborn, so it can take a time or two or 20 to sink into my brain

Guess you enjoyed the game yesterday. I didn't But congrats to your team

I wish I were as tall as you. You are going to be super slim when you get to goal.

Have a good day!
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Old 09-10-2012, 06:29 AM   #284
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139 this morning. Not too bad considering what I've eaten these past couple of weeks. But my stomach is
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Old 09-10-2012, 10:25 AM   #285
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Pam - revelations are very good, indeed! I need to have a few more of those myself.

Jen - if I weighed 139 I'd be walking around naked. For sure. Well, maybe a sweater. Like you my arm skin is just awful. See, my start weight was really 309.4 because back in 2006 I had a lap band placed, it slipped, got another in 2007. Blah, blah, blah. Fast forward, I don't keep it filled because I can't deal with eating 1/2 cup of food and chicken or bread getting stuck. I can eat really, really well. My lowest since the band was mid 190s so that gave me a loss of over 100 pounds and the only skin that really bothered me was my arms. Of course now I've gone and refilled all that skin quite a bit but it's still ugly, ugly, ugly.
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Old 09-11-2012, 05:30 AM   #286
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I would walk around naked too, and hubby would really like that

Doing well, hope you are too.

Menu:
B - coffee,hwc,splenda, 1 egg, cheese, salsa
S - 1/2 cucumber, 1 oz cheese
L - 1 chicken thigh
D - 2 chicken thighs, side spinach salad, feta, ranch
S - coffee,hwc,splenda, peanuts

Weigh-in:
Sept 1 = 157
Sept 2 = 157
Sept 3 = 158.5 (tom)
Sept 4 = 158.5 (tom)
Sept 5 = 158.5 (tom)
Sept 6 = 158 (tom)
Sept 7 = 158 (tom)
Sept 8 = 156 (tom)
Sept 9 = 155
Sept 10 = 157.5
Sept 11 = 156.5
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Old 09-11-2012, 02:55 PM   #287
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Not feeling well after my gyno appointment (had to have a polyp removed from my cervix and was cramping something fierce. Thing was huge! sorry if TMI) so I called boss & told him I would be in late. My intention was to take some Tylenol and lay down with a hot water bottle for a little while, but he told me not to come in so I had a glass of wine instead. That did the trick

DH would love if I walked around naked too! Guys are ho's

When my gyno was doing my boobage exam, she said, "I see that you've lost a lot of weight" Then I got to have the same conversation with the mammogram tech (at TX Woman's Hospital ellgee) Guess the deflated balloon body is a great tip off

Laura - I think the reason I never had a lap band or WLS is because I also couldn't deal with only getting to eat a tiny amount at a time. Even if I didn't have physical hunger, the head hunger would be unreal

Pam - How's Atkins/WW going?
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Old 09-11-2012, 05:28 PM   #288
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Not TMI for me! We deal with that all day, every day. Funny how wine fixes so, so much....

Deflated boobage - yep, got a little of that going on too. At least you got to toot your horn a bit, right?

And Jen, on the lap band - yes, you are so right about the not being able to eat more than small amounts. For people like me, you find ways to eat around that - candy, chips, milk shakes - all those flow through just fine, thank you very much. But I hated being so tight and quit getting fills. Honestly, right now I can eat a foot long Subway sandwich. I often wonder if the band just got absorbed into my body. LOL! It helped a little but everything I do now is all me. Not sure I should be proud of that or not.....I am definitely planning on getting it removed. I have a small hernia and need my gallbladder out at some point so I am going to get it all done at one time.

Last edited by ellgee; 09-11-2012 at 05:31 PM..
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Old 09-11-2012, 06:13 PM   #289
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UGH!

I have not stopped eating all afternoon & feel like crap! I have had 3 Atkins bars, peanut butter, Nutella & 2 l/c tortillas w/guacamole

Back to basics tomorrow.
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Old 09-12-2012, 06:14 AM   #290
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Hi all,

The WW/Atkins is very hard, but I just wanted to use the WW to be a little bit more accountable for how much I ate on Atkins. Sometime I feel Atkins give you cart blanch to just eat tons just so long as it's on the no carb side. So still tweaking but it will work out.

Down again today

Menu:
B - coffee,hwc,splenda, 1 egg, cheese, salsa
L - chicken salad
D - steak, 1 piece apple bread
S - 1/2 cucumber , coffee,hwc,splenda

Weigh-in:
Sept 1 = 157
Sept 2 = 157
Sept 3 = 158.5 (tom)
Sept 4 = 158.5 (tom)
Sept 5 = 158.5 (tom)
Sept 6 = 158 (tom)
Sept 7 = 158 (tom)
Sept 8 = 156 (tom)
Sept 9 = 155
Sept 10 = 157.5
Sept 11 = 156.5
Sept 12 = 155
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Old 09-12-2012, 08:28 AM   #291
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My weight loss hero Leo41 posted this on the Century Club from another site.
I relate so much, and I'm sure many of you can too.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As a lifelong secret binge-eater, what i found most helpful was to:

1) change my internal commentary loop. 2) Stop using blame and shame with anything that had to do with food.

I could easily get fixated on a certain food - say, an entire container of frosting - and wouldn't be able to stop obsessing over it until I had consumed so much (usually the whole container) that I was sick and wanting to throw up. Then I'd compensate for this by eating turkey breast and lettuce for a couple of days to 'pay my penance'. For this reason, I never left the range of 120-125lbs, so no one would ever suspect there was ever anything weird going on with me and food.

To change my internal commentary loop, I had to reprogram my brain. For me, this was something like:

See Entenmann's cake in supermarket. Start obsessing over eating the whole thing. Brain goes on loop, saying, 'that looks really good. It will taste so amazing, and you can eat as much as you want, no one will know, c'mon, it will feel so good to be eating that, you can make up for it later, you really want it...' and repeat, even after I've left the store without buying it and have gone home. The loop keeps repeating until I HAVE to go back out and buy the damn cake, because I can't think about anything else all night, or the next day, until I gorge on that cake and get sick. Once the loop starts, it's all over.

However, if I could start a brand-new loop before my autopilot one kicked in, I'd be okay. This was really difficult at first, and what I'd do would be to walk down the desert isle repeating something short and easy like 'this stuff is gross.' or 'this will make me vomit'. In the beginning, i'd only let myself walk down these isle if i was with my husband, or someone I knew, so that I wouldn't actually be tempted to buy anything. After practicing this MANY times, it was then possible for me to switch to this new loop when I felt the old one startiing to kick in.

The shame/blame thing I found to be critical in perpetuating bingeing. If I did have a 'relapse', feeling guilty and using my food choices to attack my personal character was a guarantee that I'd be bingeing again, because it was an instant, fleeting way to momentarily feel better. For me, it was CRITICAL to focus my comments on the physical effects of my actions and why I shouldn't do it again. So instead of bingeing and then wallowing in shame, guilt, despair and thinking of myself as a horribly weak person, I'd instead think things like, 'I thought that would make me feel better, but it didn't. In fact, I feel sick to my stomache, and this is the feeling I want to remember the next time I'm tempted to binge again.'

Also, I found it helpful to change patterns that led to bingeing behavior. For example, I had certain stores or places where I could get really sinfully tasty unhealthy food. Just walking down a certain street or driving a certain route would be enough to trigger my autopilot into going through that loop that convinced me I needed to eat an entire dozen doughnuts before I even saw the place that sold the doughnuts. Just doing little things like taking a different route was enough to help prevent that anticipation of the stimulus from triggering my loop that would lead me to buying those doughnuts that I didn't even want to begin with. Same thing with evening snacking - this was problematic for me, so I made sure i had a very satiating protein heavy dinner. Once I was done eating, when the urge to snack popped up, I'd say, 'I'd usually want a snack right now, but today I don't. in fact, instead of watching tv in the living room like I usually do, I think I'll go read in the park, or my bedroom.' The specifics aren't important, but breaking the routine that leads to the pattern you want to break is.

Also, certain foods are an instant binge trigger for me. i CAN NOT eat them in moderation, and I find it easier to avoid them altogether than to have a small amount, because as soon as I have a bite, my mind begins that damn loop that won't let go until I eat the whole package. For these few remaining items that are problematic (dried fruit!) I stay away, but I have to be careful with my internal commentary so that I don't turn it into something forbidden that heightens my desire for it. So, for example, I never say, 'I can't have that.' Instead I'll say, 'Yeah, I bet that would taste good, but I know that if I start eating those figs, I'll end up eating the whole package and I'll feel really sick, so I'd rather not.' Then I spend some time remembering the last time I binged on figs, and how sick I felt afterward - I let that be the thought I focus on, not the desire part.
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Old 09-12-2012, 08:31 AM   #292
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Down again today
That's great that you are losing while still tweaking! Once you get the plan to where you need it to be, I'll bet you will be losing like crazy!!
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Old 09-12-2012, 09:14 AM   #293
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Not TMI for me! We deal with that all day, every day. Funny how wine fixes so, so much....

Deflated boobage - yep, got a little of that going on too. At least you got to toot your horn a bit, right?

And Jen, on the lap band - yes, you are so right about the not being able to eat more than small amounts. For people like me, you find ways to eat around that - candy, chips, milk shakes - all those flow through just fine, thank you very much. But I hated being so tight and quit getting fills. Honestly, right now I can eat a foot long Subway sandwich. I often wonder if the band just got absorbed into my body. LOL! It helped a little but everything I do now is all me. Not sure I should be proud of that or not.....I am definitely planning on getting it removed. I have a small hernia and need my gallbladder out at some point so I am going to get it all done at one time.
Wine is the cure-all for sure. It made me feel better physically but it did lower my resistance to binging. I am a lightweight these days - one drink and I'm A cheap date as my mom would have said I'm going to have to turn in my NOLA native card!

I'm sure I would live on milkshakes and candy if I had a lap band. When I was considering JUDDD, I went to Chick-fil-A's and Starbuck's websites to see how many calories a small cookies & cream shake had and a tall frapp, because that was going to be my down day "food"
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Old 09-12-2012, 09:52 AM   #294
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Feeling so much relief at my decision to get back to basics. (For me, that is pretty much the Atkins Induction food list). I'm disappointed that I am not ready to expand my choices, but that's OK. I'll be ready when I'm ready.

In the past, I had set goals for myself of staying cheat free till <x date> Sometimes it was a certain number of days, sometimes it was leading up to an event or trip. I was usually pretty successful until I decided to be cheat free for the month leading up to Labor Day. I was feeling extremely restricted but made it through, but vowed that I would not do that again, and decided to non-diet for a little while (I know, how sad that staying on plan for one!whole!month! is too hard for me) Then I had a dr's appt scheduled for yesterday, which would have usually been an event that I would have stayed cheat free for because of the scale, but remember, no restricting! Don't know if it was my conflicting thoughts or trying to leave my comfort zone that did me in, but food-wise Sunday was bad, Monday good, Tuesday after appt was bad. What should have happened since Labor Day: free day on Labor Day as planned, back to Induction the day after, free lunch after doctor's appt on 9/11/12, back to Induction after free lunch.

All this background to say that I am going back to my usual MO. Once I have an event that I need to "diet" for, I will give myself 2 weeks (usual Induction period) to lose weight. I will have 1 off-plan meal or treat, only one, but any leftovers are trashed immediately. Preferably, the off plan meal will be away from home, but with me working until 8:00-9:00 that's not always feasible. In between I will stick to Induction foods.

My next event is an endo appt on Friday 9/28/12. It's a little more than 2 weeks away, but I feel too to really eat anything off plan right now in preparation, so most likely I will stick to Induction till then. Instead of having a reward meal that day, I think I will wait until that Sunday when we are going to Morton's with a friend for dinner, and have my free meal then.

I'm disappointed in myself, but also looking at the bright side. I recognized that I was not ready to expand my food choices, and instead of forcing myself to do so, I changed tactics. Look at me listening to myself and what I need!

Oh, and it was nice to have the nurse at the doctor's office only move the slide on the scale to 100! At my last appt the slide was at 150. Different dr so different scale, but it was nice.
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Old 09-12-2012, 01:01 PM   #295
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I just did a(nother) purge of my kitchen. I threw out l/c crackers, Nutella, Rawtella, l/c chocolate bark, l/c chocolate chip cookie mix, l/c chocolate bars, cocoa powder and regular cookie mix, sugar and flour. The regular stuff I kept saying I was going to make for work or for the pet sitters, but sooner or later in a binging frenzy I would have no doubt eaten them myself, and most likely just the prepared dough.

I am not going to bring anything into my house that is not naturally l/c (no processed foods) because they are on sale, I have a coupon (I threw out all of my junk food coupons too), or because I plan to make or give it to someone else.
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Old 09-13-2012, 07:09 AM   #296
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Good for you Jenn. Sounds like your back on plan. Don't kick yourself too hard. When I was at my goal weight 5 years ago I gave myself 2 cheat days a month and maintained the rest of the month. Life was good, but hard to stay on task most of the time. I guess I just forgot that So I'm with you, no processed foods. Trying to be good and clean and lose a little weight. I always gave myself Halloween as one of my cheat days and I think I will again. Now to be good until then it's a long way away. We will see, but I am working on it.......

Menu:
B - coffee,hwc,splenda, 2 eggs, cheese, salsa
L - 1 chicken thigh
D - 1/4 chicken enchilada skillet dinner, salad
S - coffee,hwc,splenda

Weigh-in:
Sept 1 = 157
Sept 2 = 157
Sept 3 = 158.5 (tom)
Sept 4 = 158.5 (tom)
Sept 5 = 158.5 (tom)
Sept 6 = 158 (tom)
Sept 7 = 158 (tom)
Sept 8 = 156 (tom)
Sept 9 = 155
Sept 10 = 157.5
Sept 11 = 156.5
Sept 12 = 155
Sept 13 = 155
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Old 09-13-2012, 04:21 PM   #297
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I'm glad you have a plan, Jen. This is all so hard. I wish it didn't have to be. And I'm with Pam. Don't kick yourself too hard. You have done some amazing work and accomplished something many people could never do. You can do hard things!
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Old 09-13-2012, 05:31 PM   #298
Way too much time on my hands!
 
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Jen:
Sometimes we need to slap ourselves upside the head and get it right in our own minds!!!You ID'd your triggers, it is hard to throw out food, with the price of it, etc, and doing so is so cleansing, and I think seeing ourselves throw it out somehow helps!!! You have done amazing things, you will be fine!!!!
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Old 09-14-2012, 05:26 AM   #299
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Hi all,

How is everybody doing today? Cheated and had a piece of birthday cake with my son who turned 16 yesterday. So it will be a few days until my body kicks back in. Mad at myself, but I will get over it.
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Old 09-14-2012, 06:11 AM   #300
Way too much time on my hands!
 
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Thanks for the encouragement ladies!

It's really a blow to have been on such a roll and then do so much damage in such short a time. It's hard not to have the feeling that I won't get my mojo back.

Pam - to your son! Don't feel guilty about eating the cake.
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