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ellgee 04-01-2012 06:56 AM

Ellgee's Journey Back to Onederland
 
Okay, so first day of the month, always a clean slate for dieters. I've actually been back to JUDDDing since 3/18/12 but decided a journal component would be handy and make me accountable at the very least to myself.

Diet history - every diet known to man culminating with the lap band in 2006 at my highest weight of 309. I have learned this WLS is not a cure all. Obviously it is uber easy to gain weight even with this band (for me). I'm also thinking very seriously of having it removed later this summer. Concerned over possible complications and odd pains I continue to have.

Last year I made it into Onderland for the better part of the year by exercising like a fiend and dieting like a madwoman. As with most things I undertake, I burned out in a major way and put back on over 50 pounds. I'd like to say I know how it happened or that I caught it when it was only 10 pounds but I don't and I didn't. :dunno:

I call my condition Dieting ADD. I can't seem to stick to any eating plan for long. I get bored or dissatisfied with the results. So far though on JUDDD, I've lost 12 pounds. I know this will slow down but it has really given me the oomph I need to keep going and it helps with the Dieting ADD because I only really have to restrict myself every other day. Now I count calories on my UD but I get so many, I can incorporate foods I like.

I weighed in today at 242.8 and my April goal is 235. Oh, to be in the 230s again! All my smaller clothes are hanging in the closet mocking me. I WILL get back in them! Also, starting easy on myself in terms of exercise and plan to do 30 minutes on the treadmill 3 times a week. Surely I can do that much, right?

And away we go......................:clap:

ellgee 04-02-2012 10:58 AM

Yesterday was an UD and went great. I truly, truly enjoy eating foods I like. I do count the calories on UD because being I can let them get away from me in the blink of an eye! Came in just under my calorie goal. I tend to try to eat foods that are good for me but yesterday I just had a horrible craving for chili cheese tater tots from Sonic. Had them, counted them and faced the water weight gain this morning.

244.6

Oh well. Today is a DD and I actually am looking forward to it.

ellgee 04-05-2012 07:05 PM

Lordy - just not doing good with this journal thing. Hard to remember to keep coming back. But I am here now.

Okay - on the JUDDD front been following along swimmingly counting my calories on both UD and DD. And the freaking scale is really yanking my chain. I am up 2.2 from my lowest weight on Sunday.

I was so so so tempted today to throw in the towel and say this isn't working but I didn't. I can no longer allow myself to do that. It is a disservice to me. I know if I were to do that I'd go bananas and gain a LOT of weight and feel awful and there goes the same vicious cycle I have been on my whole life.

So I will trudge forth, curse the scale and keep doing what I'm doing. I know there will be times when I will derail but if I consistently tell myself I have to start again right away, then maybe I will do just that.

And THAT is probably the best victory I could have in this whole weight loss game.

ellgee 04-08-2012 09:39 AM

So I have been keeping to plan and have been rewarded with small losses every day. Not down to my lowest yet but I'm sure it is in the offing.

Just don't know why it is when a bump comes along in my weight loss journey I am so ready to jump ship, try a new diet, change something. These stagnant periods are going to be inevitable. I have to just look for other ways to feed my desire for visible and tangible progress. I did do measurements on 4/1 and plan to do that every month. Hopefully that will show some progress!

Weight today 243.4

AsmallerME 04-08-2012 04:47 PM

I'm glad I found your journal! You are doing great, Laura. If it helps, I'm only down 1 pound in 9 days- all the rest of my loss was re-losing the weight I gained from last weekends carb diaster.

AsmallerME 04-17-2012 06:02 AM

Get ready to celebrate one month on plan tomorrow missy!! congrats!

ellgee 04-18-2012 10:31 AM

Well hey there Amber!!!! Thanks for stopping by!!!

I honestly have completely neglected this journal!

Soooooo, weight today was 242.6. Down from the last post in this journal but still woefully close to my weigh in from 4/1/12. My hope (and prayer) is that I'm one of those people that only lose for half the month. If that's the case, fine. But I at least want to know that is what is going on. Because I've just finished a month on JUDDD, I can more accurately see if a pattern emerges.

I noticed a blip of weight gain around when I would have ovulated and TOM is underway. Now I can get to the business of losing for the rest of the month, right????

The very freakiest thing about me right now? I don't want to give up. Sure, I'm frustrated and a little pissed but I am just marching forth. I mean, seriously, something's got to give, right? :dunno:

Today was one month on JUDDD and I am down 12.2 pounds. I seriously cannot complain. Or I seriously shouldn't complain. I complain all the time, though. :rofl:

ellgee 04-19-2012 05:00 AM

Jumping Jehosephat!!!

I came in at 240.2 this morning. Will it stick? Who knows but the fact of the matter is I SAW it on the scale. Color me a happy girl today!

Now it is an UD and I have a business lunch and we are going Mexican. Could be some sodium issues so I'll try to play it well but still enjoy myself.

ellgee 04-21-2012 06:40 AM

Well what a difference a few days makes!!!

New decade today - 239.2! I'm holding on to it with everything I've got! I love seeing these low numbers but truly get worried on my UDs. But so far this is working great and I'm going to eat up all my calories today (like there was the remotest hint of a chance that I wouldn't!)

Hope I continue to see the 240s in the rearview mirror!!! :jumpjoy::jumpjoy:

Hanging in like I did since the beginning of the month is a real first for me. Normally I would have thrown in the towel and quit but I really surprised myself by sticking with it. I'm tired of quitting everything I start. I want to learn to roll with the punches and keep going. That's what I'd tell my kids to do so why can't I do it? :dunno:

Total loss to date: 15.6!

AsmallerME 04-21-2012 02:21 PM

I'm sooooooooooo happy for you!!! :clap: welcome to a new skinnier decade!

ellgee 04-24-2012 10:55 AM

Thanks Amber!

I really like it in the 30s! So much better than the 40s! But I feel like I'm just sticking my toe in the 30s pond and still have a foot in the 40s door. I need to get to about 235 before I feel at home!

JUDDDing along and all is well. I have fleeting moments where my very unfriendly subconscious rears up and says, "Aren't you sick of counting calories? Blow it off for awhile and let's go have some fun." I ignore her. We used to be best friends. My mindset right now is just to keep moving down the scale and get back under 200. I feel focused.

And that unfortunately is always subject to change. But not today.

Blonde with a Rose 04-25-2012 08:11 AM

Hiya Laura! I'm so glad you have a journal. It can be an amazing tool. It can also be a toolif you get my meaning. It sounds like you're doing everything right. Counting UD calories is a great idea, just to know where you are in the big scheme of things...I will definitely do that when I start up JUDDDing again. I'm giving myself at least two weeks on LC/Primal before I try again.

RE: SF creamers. You know it took a few days but my taste buds have adjusted and I like my coffee again. I've been putting a heaping tsp of coffee mate SF caramel vanilla powdered creamer into my coffee, followed by a splash of H & H. After a few days I started to be happy with it. Sugared creamers taste fantastic but ruin it for the SF guy. My problem with this is that I want more sugar when I eat sugar and had gotten quite the sweet tooth over the past few months. Here's hoping primal will take that away.

My only advice at this point...and you know what I'm going to say;)

Don't weigh everyday. If you must weigh frequently, then once a week after a DD is better. Once a month is better for me because I'm easily discouraged. I can totally relate to jumping around on diets looking for the magic bullet. I truly believe JUDD is it. Thanks for your support, I will return the favor in kind.

~BLONDE

ellgee 04-25-2012 10:36 AM

Hey Blonde! So nice to see you here!

Funny you mention about weighing daily. That does get me mentally. And I was considering going to once a week. Here's the deal though - before on one of my millions of diets I stuck with it for a long time and graphed my weight daily. I was able to see the trends like at TOM and knew when to expect them. That was handy. But on a month like this where I've only about 4 pounds since the first, I'd be better served to just step back from weighing daily.

Sigh. I'm a scale addict.

Blonde with a Rose 04-26-2012 07:53 AM

On weighing: Here's what can happen to me. I lose a pound. I celebrate. I gain a pound. I commiserate. Either can be a reason for me to eat something. :hyst:

Do what works for you, kiddo. Your stats are looking great, and I can tell by your posts that you're feeling confident. Good for you! Keep it up. You're thoughts are encouraging me to JUDDD again and succeed again. It's what I want to do, but I feel bad when I fail a DD. I'm setting myself up NOT to fail by eating primal for a while (maybe longer).

Have a fabulous day!

Blonde with a Rose 04-27-2012 09:22 AM

Hey there Ellgee -girl! Just poppin" in before I go out for the morning! How's the weather in the beautiful state of Texas? Sunny and 72 in Southern California.
Are you up or down today? I'm chompin' at the bit to get back to JUDDD. I'm think'n Monday!

ellgee 04-27-2012 04:25 PM

Hey lady! Texas weather is actually very nice today. Think we are getting up into the 80s today and it is mostly sunny. My sister lives in Los Angeles and loves, loves, loves the weather there.

Today is my UD - Hallelujah!!

Well honey you just come right on back to JUDDD when you feel ready. I'm so happy that I've managed to stick to this for so long this go round! Almost 6 weeks now!!! Do you plan to start with an UD or DD?

AsmallerME 04-27-2012 06:45 PM

((((sprinkles woosh fairy dust))))

ellgee 04-28-2012 06:17 AM

Rolling around like a dog in that fairy dust, Amber!

Sigh. I'm in another idle pattern and really having to learn to exercise patience. It's so funny - when I see other JUDDDers in an idle pattern and I'm losing well, it's so easy to say just hang tight, things will start moving again. When it's me, TOTALLY different story. But geez, I already idled for two weeks at the beginning of the month!!

Again, I have zero intention of giving up. I've made it six weeks now which for me, after this last year of having a gainfest, is magical. I haven't been motivated to stay with any plan for more than a week or two. I guess that could be a NSV. I'm not depriving myself of anything I want on UDs and I really believe that's kept me satisfied and binge free. I don't have out of control cravings. And because of that I can hang tight and keep doing what I'm doing - scale be damned!

DD today and I have a plan. I have a stack of gift cards in my purse from over the years. I sat down the other day and got the balances on all of them and I'm going out and spending the whole lot of them!! Hubby isn't in town this weekend so I have to amuse myself some way. Plus being out in the streets makes the day pass quickly and it is easier to manage my DD.

Hoping that fairy dust works a little magic today!

AsmallerME 04-28-2012 07:23 PM

Do you think your UD cals could be too high? And yes, hang in there! Maybe your body is getting really revved up so when it stops idling you'll go super fast through some numbers?

Also, I wish I could have done that shopping spree. Spending free money is the best kind of shopping. Did you get some good stuff?

ellgee 04-29-2012 01:24 PM

I did get some good stuff! Today I spent a few hours in World Market - got a cast iron skillet, some wine, and little geegaw gadgets that I normally wouldn't buy. Then headed off to Bed Bath and Beyond for coffee. Yesterday I hit a few stores, too. Color me one tired lady. And I still have quite a few cards left. YAY!

Now home and getting ready to bathe the dog. He likes to go out and roll in the dirt. Boy do I have surprise for him. Then I shall sit back, relax and have a glass or two of wine.

Yeah, I've been wondering about the calories, Amber. I tend to subscribe to the more is better to keep your metabolism stoked but maybe I have flawed thinking. My reasoning is with the following numbers: 500/2200 - that averages out to 1350 calories a day. I'm definitely getting a deficit. My BMR is around 1900 and multiplying that times the 1.2 for a sedentary person I get 2280 which is right at my UD calories. I just don't know. I was actually thinking of going up but am afraid to mess with anything right now. Not sure why; there's no evidence of stellar success with what I am doing now.

Have you lowered your calories since starting JUDDD?

AsmallerME 04-29-2012 07:09 PM

It sounds like you had a great time and scored some excellent stuff. I'm doing 2000-2200 up days, but trying to be closer to 2000. I eat 500 on DDs. I started a 2200/500 but have essentially lowered to 2000/500. I hope to stay here until 210 at least.

If raising cals works, that would be awesome. Maybe give it a shot for a week first?

ellgee 04-30-2012 05:07 PM

I'm skeered!!!!

And my calories are right along yours - 500/2200 were my initial numbers and I have stuck pretty close to them. I don't do low DDs well AT ALL! So I stick with 500. The calculator has me at 425/2123 right now. That's only 77 calories difference. I honestly think it is hormones and I'm gonna have to accept that I can't lose like when I was 20 or 30 or 40. But what blows is my first two weeks on JUDDD I was on fire!!!!

AsmallerME 04-30-2012 08:34 PM

Try 500/2000. You can do it!

Blonde with a Rose 05-01-2012 08:20 AM

Hey there Laura! Congratulations on 6 weeks of JUDDD! Fantastic. You are inspiring to me.

First things first...Do not lower you UD calories at this time. The reason you are doing so well is because UD's are not supposed to feel like a diet day. This is the "no diet diet". In time you will naturally eat less on your UD's. One of the benefits of JUDDD is that it takes the "glamour" out of certain foods. I love that part. Nothing is forbidden. The only rules are stick to your DD, eat nutritious foods along with your favorites, and don't binge. Counting calories (for me) is the first step to binge eating. A good meal is only a day away. I think that some up days are going to have more/less calories than others. The less you have to think "diet" the better you'll feel. Not to take away from what AsmallerMe has suggested, this is just my experience after one solid year on JUDDD and a total loss of 45 pounds. Granted I stopped and have rebound some weight (15 pounds). This is after being sick and on prednisone twice since November (and quitting smoking, again). Naturally I'm not surprised at the weight gain.

I envy your shopping spree. When I have money I can't find anything I want, when I don't have money I want everything I see. I know, I'm perverse.

Hang in there! I'm soon going to be right with you!

ellgee 05-02-2012 10:48 AM

Okay so I have decided to try a couple of weeks longer at current calories and see what shakes out. If I continue to idle like I'm doing, I will look at changing something.

A new month brings such great hope as we move along in this weight loss journey. I did my measurements and after 30 days found that I'd lost 3/4 inch off my waist and 1/2 an inch off my hips. And with my minimal weight loss for April, I can live with that.

AND I got on the treadmill last night. It squeaked it's annoyance at me but once I got going we were just fine. I forgot what it was like to sweat! LOL!

Blonde with a Rose 05-02-2012 02:43 PM

Woo Hoo! Hittin' the treadmill....and hurray for inches lost! If I can find my measuring tape, I'm gonna do that. It is a good gauge especially if you have plateau'ed for a bit. Last year I went almost three months without a budge and then a huge woosh.....

AsmallerME 05-03-2012 05:06 AM

Those are great measurements!!

ellgee 05-04-2012 10:18 AM

Thanks ladies!!!

Well - today I was down .2 after an UD. I am afraid to breathe! Could things finally be shifting after my dry spell??? I certainly hope so.

Walked on the treadmill last night again. I am starting very "soft" on the exercise lest I freak myself out. Three times a week for May and I will bump it up in June.

Trying to remind myself this is not a race. I am making downhill progression and that's the ultimate goal. Rinse and repeat!

ellgee 05-05-2012 03:18 PM

Sweet, sweet drop on the scale today.

236.4!!!!!!

What a relief because I was about to do something.........CUH-RAZY! Seriously. It is hard to hang on and hang in when you are doing all the right things and not getting any payoff.

I suppose I need to learn some patience. Or stay off the scale. Neither sounds too promising at the moment.

Did get my three days of exercising in!

Blonde with a Rose 05-06-2012 09:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ellgee (Post 15631941)
Thanks ladies!!!

Well - today I was down .2 after an UD. I am afraid to breathe! Could things finally be shifting after my dry spell??? I certainly hope so.

Walked on the treadmill last night again. I am starting very "soft" on the exercise lest I freak myself out. Three times a week for May and I will bump it up in June.

Trying to remind myself this is not a race. I am making downhill progression and that's the ultimate goal. Rinse and repeat!

Oh you're right! This is so NOT a race. JUDDD is something you can do always. After you reach your goal, the maintenance phase will be a new way to do it, once or twice a week to keep your new weight. In the process of losing you will learn so much about yourself, your short falls and your strengths. You'll learn about being hungry, being bored, or sad. This takes a while to really believe this, therefore your journey is part of the process. I'm so proud of you! Thank you for giving me the courage to continue JUDDD myself. I know it's great, I just needed a reminder. You ROCK!:sing:

I know about cuh-razy.


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