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Old 08-01-2012, 09:40 AM   #121
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Old 08-01-2012, 10:10 AM   #122
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Okay, okay - the tears got me!

I'm here. I'm here.

Today being the first day of the month is encouraging. I've been counting my calories for about a week and have managed to keep it together. So far. My weight is up. Of course.

Why does it have to be so hard?
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Old 08-01-2012, 10:41 AM   #123
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There you are!!!! Missed ya honey! ♥

New day, New beginning!

It is hard, but you CAN do hard! Get your mindset right and you can do anything!!!! It's taken me a long long long long...did I say long? Oh yeah, a LONG time to get my mindset right. I think for the first time in nearly 12 years I am in a place mentally where I know I will get through this. I want this more than anything and I'm not willing to let it get away from me!

You got this toots, we're here right beside ya!
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Old 08-02-2012, 10:52 AM   #124
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Danielle, you always know the right things to say. Thanks for your support!
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Old 08-02-2012, 11:03 AM   #125
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Always here for ya hon! This weight loss thing is no easy feat, I don't care what anybody says! It is HARD HARD HARD! Be proud of every little success you have along the way because you have earned all of it. It's a process for sure, and one not for the faint of heart. You are stronger than all of this, I know you are! YOU tell your mind that you WILL do this and to get out of your way!
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Old 08-02-2012, 11:20 AM   #126
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Laura! I'm so glad you're back! Danielle is a ROCK and always says the thing I need to hear. We are all here for each other!

Dang it I don't know why it's so HARD! In the reverse, I don't know why it sometimes seems easy...We've all been talking a lot about mindset (probably because we're all mental ). I've heard people talk about having epiphanies, but they don't last, do they? It's a good kick off but somebody has to run with the ball, and keep running and running. For years I wanted it (weight) all gone, now, over night. I still do of course but I know that's not gonna happen. I just have to keep looking forward, and try not to self-loathe. Sometimes it's difficult to feel positive. For me that's the worst because I feel hopeless and helpless. I want to crawl into a vat of fondue and eat myself into a coma. I know I'm not the only one. That in itself is helpful.

Hang in there, you CAN do this. It's not easy but it's doable. It's not fast, but it's doable. AND it's a step forward, so don't worry about yesterday or last week or last year. Today is the day, do the best you can. That's all anyone can expect of anyone else. Know we are here for you, because we like you girlie, and we get it.
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Old 08-02-2012, 04:36 PM   #127
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Originally Posted by Blonde with a Rose View Post
Laura! I'm so glad you're back! Danielle is a ROCK and always says the thing I need to hear. We are all here for each other!

Dang it I don't know why it's so HARD! In the reverse, I don't know why it sometimes seems easy...We've all been talking a lot about mindset (probably because we're all mental ). I've heard people talk about having epiphanies, but they don't last, do they? It's a good kick off but somebody has to run with the ball, and keep running and running. For years I wanted it (weight) all gone, now, over night. I still do of course but I know that's not gonna happen. I just have to keep looking forward, and try not to self-loathe. Sometimes it's difficult to feel positive. For me that's the worst because I feel hopeless and helpless. I want to crawl into a vat of fondue and eat myself into a coma. I know I'm not the only one. That in itself is helpful.

Hang in there, you CAN do this. It's not easy but it's doable. It's not fast, but it's doable. AND it's a step forward, so don't worry about yesterday or last week or last year. Today is the day, do the best you can. That's all anyone can expect of anyone else. Know we are here for you, because we like you girlie, and we get it.
^^^^^^^ truer words were never spoken! ^^^^^^^

We're all here. Trudging along, tripping, baby-stepping, sometimes skipping, maybe falling down, but we're here. Every moment is a new chance to set things right, it just depends on what you do with your moments! String a few together and look at the success! ♥
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Old 08-07-2012, 07:38 AM   #128
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Hey! Team Laura here. Revving up the engines for you, lighting the fires and kicking the tires! Ready.... set.....?

GO Laura!!!!

You've got this.

100 calorie shakes? check!
Chicken? check!
Cabbage? check!
Carrots? check!
Vinegar, Walden Farms, salsa? Check check check!

Will to succeed? CHECK!

Up day just one short day away! Be busy, be positive, be strong.
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Old 08-07-2012, 10:20 AM   #129
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Thanks Blonde! Team Laura, indeed!!!

Well UD went great - but then, don't they all? LOL!

I went to the grocery store on my way home from work yesterday and got plenty of cabbage, sugar snap peas, some Walden Farms dressing, SF creamer.

So far today, things are going good! I'm not freaking out. I know tomorrow is right around the corner.

If only I could put my finger on what makes me just throw everything away! I WANT to lose the weight, I NEED to lose the weight. But I always seem to sabotage myself in some way just to make sure I don't succeed.

Right now I am just going to focus on the day at hand. Once I start staring into the future and how much I can lose by this or that date, I go bananas. Mmmmmm. Bananas. Maybe tomorrow.
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Old 08-07-2012, 10:31 AM   #130
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Laura, one day at a time. Even one hour at a time if you have to. I can so relate to the feelings you expressed, I really really can. No matter how much you mess up (let's face it, there WILL be meals that don't go as planned..) the important thing is to just get right back up and keep moving like nothing happened. It's still progress in the forward motion and THAT is what counts! Sure, it might take a bit longer if the off plan meals are often, but I think you can reign it in knowing that once in a while is NOT going to kill you. If it keeps you going forward, then it's worth it. Just my 2 pennies..

I wouldn't want you to be perfect, where would the fun be in that? I think the adventure of learning about yourself can be what you make it. Try and enjoy it, have some fun along the way and just keep rolling. You are worth the effort to NOT give up. EVER. Is your DH on board with things? Is he willing to commit to your lifestyle or maybe exercise? I know for me that has helped immensely and the support and motivation I get from my husband has been priceless. Not to mention it is creating another outlet for our relationship to grow.

Have a wonderful day lady, and I am so so proud of you for getting up and starting again with us!
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Old 08-07-2012, 10:39 AM   #131
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Hey Dani,

I just posted much the same thoughts on Blonde's journal! Great minds, ya know? To me, keeping on picking myself up has got to be the key. I just need to do it sooner that I have been. I have to own that I will mess up at some point. That's life.

And sister, I am FAR from perfect. Obviously! LOL! And that's the whole thing right there in a nutshell - I WANT to enjoy life. Feeling like I'm in a strait jacket when I'm dieting causes me to just swan dive off the cliff. Seriously.

Yes, my DH is very supportive. He's working out of town right now and is home on alternating weekends. He's always very careful to ask what I'm doing with regard to my diet - kind of like throwing in a shoe first to test the waters! HA!

I just ordered the Callanetics Evolution DVD. So waiting for that to come in the mail. As many diets as I've tried, I have triple that number of exercise DVDs. GAH!

Thanks for your words Dani - always uplifting and helpful. Big bear hugs!
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Old 08-08-2012, 04:55 AM   #132
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Good morning Laura. We are here cheering you on. You can do this!!
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Old 08-08-2012, 11:18 AM   #133
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Hey there! Great post Danielle! As Laura said we talked about it on my journal too. We are not perfect and life does not have to be about never having anything good to eat ever again. I don't know how many times I've screwed up over a dinner date (once I ordered seared ahi 'cause it was low carb) I hated it, and went home and ate noodles. Or agonizing over going to a movie and not having popcorn (L/C) or skipping the turkey dressing and cranberries and mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving only to eat pie like a madwoman later....There are ways to have our cake and eat it too. JUDDD is like that for me. I would rather diet every other day and not feel the guilt from an ice cream cone or popcorn with butter. It is a very slow loss for me but it's okay because I'm not suffering (too much) and I'm going in the right direction. I do know this for sure, I cannot continue the rest of my life feeling bad about myself.

GO Laura, you can do this!
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Old 08-08-2012, 12:40 PM   #134
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Blonde, I could have written that last post. Too much time spent beating myself up, so not worth it. I've decided everything is a choice, and it's up to me to make. We go to the movies fairly often, and I make the choice to have popcorn sometimes. Altho' now, the *amount* is vastly different. A handful or two and I'm done. Ironically, nothing ever tastes as good as I remember.
And yep, sometimes the losses are slower, but living life is worth it. Especially because I don't EVER work myself into a tizzy anymore about food.

Laura, hope you're off to a wonderful start! I had callanetics videos years ago..but it was back in the day of vhs I saw there were dvd's of them, seriously considering buying one. I need something else to keep me busy!
LMK how you like yours.
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Old 08-08-2012, 02:38 PM   #135
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A handful or two and I'm done. Ironically, nothing ever tastes as good as I remember.
Oh wow, that's so true. Doing JUDDD last year broke me of my mac n cheese addiction! It just doesn't taste as good if it's not forbidden. If I want it, I get WW or Lean Cuisine and it does the trick. Funny!
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Old 08-08-2012, 04:22 PM   #136
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Ladies, you so hit the nail on the head. I want to LIVE. I think that when I allow myself to LIVE I start to go crazy because of all the times I didn't allow myself to enjoy. Does that make sense? When I go off, I GO OFF! Like the movie popcorn - if it is there I will eat it all. Every last yummy kernel. I feel like I need to get EVERYTHING in because soon I will start restricting myself. I imagine I don't trust myself very much, huh?

So my DD went fine yesterday. Kept myself busy in the evening. On DD I like to push my dinner late because I worry I'll get hungry if I eat early. UD today and I was so busy at work I really had to take the time to eat! I have puh-lenty of calories for a yummy dinner though.

Got my Callanetics Evolution in the mail today. Debating on whether or not to do it. I'm tuckered out this week. Usually there are two of us managing the office and my friend is on vacation this week so I'm putting out fires right and left and doing my usual work. Leaves me pooped.
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Old 08-09-2012, 07:23 AM   #137
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Mornin' Laura! Tell me a little about Callanetics?

I get what you're saying about restriction. The very thought of giving up so much is enough to send me over the edge. I too have regrets about all the angst I put myself through. I try to plan a really good up day meal, and I try to eat when I'm hungry. DD's are hard but not impossible and I have to PLAN to succeed. I believe that if you do not make any food off limits on your up day, that food will lose it's magic. It's just food. So enjoy your up day and use your down day to discover yourself. Your strengths and weaknesses. I've definitely learned the difference between hunger and wanting. What I will do with that knowledge, I have no idea.
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Old 08-09-2012, 10:48 AM   #138
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Blonde - you crack me up - I have lots of knowledge that I just don't know what to do with, too! If I figure it out, I might be dangerous!

I try not to have anything be off limits on UD too. To me that would be crazy! And really setting myself up for failure. I made myself the most delicious grilled cheese sandwiches last night. God they were good. And I was flipping satisfied.

Callanetics came out in the 80s and its tiny little movements that apparently work really well at trimming up the legs, hips, tummy. It is not a jump around, sweat and have a heart attack type of exercise but it is tough. I used to have the old VHS tapes and just got a DVD of the "redone" Callanetics. I will definitely start next week. They started a Callanetics thread on the JUDDD board.
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Old 08-11-2012, 08:34 AM   #139
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Wow - hard to believe but this is Day 6 of my return to JUDDD. Almost a week. Doesn't even feel like it!

I don't like to wax philosophically on how I'm glad to be back doing this and why did I ever stop, blah, blah, blah. I know at some point I will crash and burn. I realize that is some stinking thinking but I try to be realistic. However, I do appreciate how much better I feel when I am in some sort of control of my eating. When I've gone off the reservation, everything in my psyche is screaming at me to get a grip! I feel powerless to change my pattern until I finally get completely fed up or step on the scale for some of that old Rude Awakening medicine.

What You Allow is What Will Continue.

I put that as the background on my ipad during my last "crazy time." It helps me to remember that ultimately I am in control of what I allow. When I am going bananas, it is because I am allowing it. No matter how powerless I might feel. Because eventually I do halt the behavior which lets me know that I had that power all along. I just chose to allow it to continue.

Okay - enough Debbie Downer. Like Blonde, I get this information about myself but have no idea what to do with it! LOL!

Quiet weekend for me. DH is on call out of town and it's me and the dog. Going to do some cleaning and that's about it. Was considering going shopping but have been floating my son's half of his car payment for the last few months. He's finally started a new job but he is living in an apartment this semester at school and I know he will have some expenses when he moves in. Long story short, money has been on the tighter side the last couple of months. I've also been putting aside for my daughter's wedding in 2014. So I imagine I won't have a lot of excess income for awhile. Boo.
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Old 08-11-2012, 08:52 AM   #140
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6 days, that is fantastic! Just remember you don't *have* to allow full blown "bananas"....just maybe for a meal, then ya move on and keep going the way you did. I know, easier said than done! I know you can do it tho', I know how much you want this.

Speaking of a wedding.....weren't we talking about you wanting to feel fabulous for that special day???? This is your time mama, you can truly make a remarkable transformation in this time!

Money....Meh!!!! It's always something, isn't it???
I still think you need to get yourself something special when you reach a little milestone..it doesnt need to be spendy, but something to acknowledge your committment to your new you.

Today is housework...Me no like. So just know I'll be commisserating (sp?) with you!
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Old 08-12-2012, 11:15 AM   #141
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Hi Laura! Day six is AWESOME. Put them behind you one day at a time (or one meal at a time as I sometimes have to do) and look forward. Man I love retail therapy and hate it when I can't because I have to do something stupid like buy food or pay the gas and electric. Boo. Or worse, dog food. You'd think I was raising cows over here, they eat so much.
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Old 08-13-2012, 04:18 PM   #142
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I was away for a few weeks and when I got my senses knocked back, I returned specifically looking for your journal to see if youve returned. I'm so glad you are here!!!! I've missed ya!
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Old 08-13-2012, 04:47 PM   #143
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AMBER!!!!! Headed over to your journal!
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Old 08-14-2012, 11:51 AM   #144
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How's it goin Sweet Cheeks?
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Old 08-15-2012, 04:19 PM   #145
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All is going well. Still JUDDDing along. Having a particularly hungry DD today but I know I can make it through. UD is only a few hours away.

Started doing my Callanetics Evolution. Sweet Jesus. I thought I would just fly right through the DVD. HA! I am sore in just about every muscle I have. And that's not playing pretty with the scale. But I will continue on. Like Dani says, it is about so much more than the number on the scale. See I said it like I believed it!

Other than that all quiet around here. DH comes in tomorrow evening and I am . About ready to throw this whole work situation to the curb. I know he's tired of it too.

Okay - off to see what good, voluminous DD meal I can throw together.
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Old 08-15-2012, 04:25 PM   #146
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Hungry DDs sometimes mean new lows on the scale. Hopefully it pans out well. Also, I'm sorry about the work stress. That's the worst. When you win the lotto, let me know.
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Old 08-20-2012, 07:05 AM   #147
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Hey girl, how ya doing?
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Old 08-20-2012, 09:47 AM   #148
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helllllllllllllllllooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
anybody home????????????????????????????????

It's been 5 days, I hope all is well!
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Old 08-21-2012, 08:57 AM   #149
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Good Morning Laura! Just stoppin' by to say hello and tell you I'm not perfect.

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Old 08-24-2012, 07:25 AM   #150
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Hey girl, I'm worried. I'm afraid the Callanetics did you in and you can't get to the computer....

I've been LC for 5 days and non-JUDDD because I couldn't stay true for a couple of DD's. LC has helped me with my cravings but I have a very hard time losing on it, mainly because I can't maintain it. How you doin' girlfriend?



Blonde~
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