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Old 07-22-2012, 08:57 AM   #31
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WOE: hHcg/later LC
Start Date: 7/16/12; 8/1/14
Phew! I just took another look at the bridal shower menu and it's not as bad as I thought it would be.

Organic Veggie Platter - To include Grilled Asparagus, green onions, assorted squash, portabella mushrooms. Steamed broccoli, cauliflower. Cherry tomatoes & Dip.

Fresh Fruit Platter - To include fruit (hopefully some strawberries)
Toasted Crostini with Brie & Fig Jam - will stay away from these
Grilled Grass Fed Tri-tip mini sandwiches with Horseradish & Rosemary cream. - I will skip the bread and sauce
Roasted Mini Potatoes with olive oil & garlic - avoid avoid avoid! LOL
Sliced Tomatoes & Mozzarella with sweet onions, avocado. basil, olive oil & lemon - well, I can have the tomatoes anyway....

The key will be to keep on top of my emotions. I tend to eat when I am nervous and I only know two of the ladies that will be there. I am not very good with social situations sometimes.

Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts!
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Old 07-22-2012, 09:30 PM   #32
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I just saw pictures from the bridal shower... Uggg. Definitely confirmation I am not where I want to be.

Two bright sides...it shoes me how far I have come! And the other...it gets me jazzed to get right back on track!!

Note to self: Stand up straight, you never know when someone is taking your picture!
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Old 07-24-2012, 09:58 AM   #33
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I am so thankful for this forum. I was reading through some of the threads I missed and it is just so awesome to have somewhere to go and know I am not alone!!

I am currently reading Weight loss Apocalypse by Robin Woodall. I started reading is months ago, but stopped...not sure why exactly. I had been introduced to the "waiting on hunger and fullness" but without a scale idea some years ago when I did Weigh Down Workshop...that's a long story in and of itself and needless to say I don't do it anymore, the WDW part I mean.

I think I kind of threw the baby out with the bathwater so to speak though. There really is something to the hunger and fullness thing and there is SO much to the emotional eating thing. These past few days I have been really trying to figure out what bring up my desire to "cheat" on protocol.

Sadly, it's mostly boredom on my part! How sad and pathetic is that? Apparently, I need a life or another hobbie. Truth be told, I think I am a bit lazy and way too addicted to being online, which just requires me to on my booty on the sofa.

I don't have it all figured out yet, but I need to figure out how to spend my time better and in a way that is enjoyable. What that will be...I have no idea.
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Old 08-02-2012, 11:07 AM   #34
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I have been reading or really finishing reading Weightloss Apocalypse. The book has some REALLY good points in it. I don't agree with all of it, but I am gleaning a lot of things. I think P2 is great place to start implementing a deeper look into hunger and fullness. It's been eye-opening the last week or so to really look at why I eat if I am not even hungry at the time. A major factor for me seems to be boredom, which is quite pathetic!

I also joined an FB private group about WA, which is nice, but I am very uncomfortable with how "touchy feely" it is on there. By that I mean, that is too "new agey" for my liking. It's all about self-empowerment and self-realization, etc. I am all about feeling good about myself, but it's an uncomfortable focus, especially from a Christian stand point...the idea of just "loving yourself" is a little too out there for me in that sense. I know that works for some people, but it's not really my thing. So, I am trying to learn from it, but gleaning the wisdom and leaving the rest.

And not be negative about other people, but I get so frustrated watching vlog and such sometimes. Mainly for two reasons...one, people give a lot of CRAPPY advice on there. It's like they just can't help but offer up their own advice on how NOT to do protocol. I am amazed by crazy stuff people suggest. That being said there are some GREAT vloggers out there, but some of them are just crazy. Two, is the complete panic people display when they have a little mess up on P2. It's SO sad, because I understand the fear and frustration, but at the same time...COME ON!!! It's like the world is going to end. And, I know I should be more sympathetic, but I can't handle the drama. I know, Know...I should stop watching them, or at least some of them.

What did all this lead me to? I want to reach the point where dieting is not my life, a place where I am not defining myself, or a place where I feel good about myself even when I am not actively on a diet. I have come to realize that I only feel good about myself when I am on a diet. It's so ingrained in me, that it's scary and I need to pull that crap out of my thinking. There has to be an end to it, which is one of the reasons I am so excited about some of the information I am gleaning from WA.

I have to figure ME out, but at the same time keeping grounded in my faith and knowing it’s not all about ME. If that makes any sense to anyone but me! Ha!
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Old 08-05-2012, 07:37 AM   #35
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I had an epiphany and have to write it down before I forget. I compare myself to other people a lot. I was watching vlogs and found a fun one that is about HCG and fashion, my two favorite things! The vlog is called Vanessasworld. She is very sweet and gorgeous and after seeing her bathingsuit after photos I started to freak out about going to Hawaii and not being "there" yet.

The problem is where is "there" and when I reach "there" will I finally be happy? Argh! I think if I don't figure this out I will be searching for "there" for the rest of my life and I have spent the first bit of my life since the age of 11 looking for it.

I keep reading that it's possible to be happy with where I am at, at a certain point. It's like the rumor about confident men that pursue women in relationships....they say they are out there, but I have never seen one. The same thing applies....I hear that I can be happy with my body at some point, but I have never been there.

Today will be a good test for me. I am going to an antique faire with some girlfriends of mine that don't know about the HCG (no one, but my parents do really). I need to stay on Protocol after my weekend long debacle last week. There is no reason I can't, it's whether I choose not to. It's up to me. I am in control.

I am so glad I have people on here like Lara and Adelaide to help me with these ephiphanies and to keep a clear head!
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