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Old 07-14-2012, 11:22 AM   #1201
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Day 2 for me, Amberkins! You simply nailed it: food is yummy, and sugar and wheat are just freaking delicious and addicting. MUST. GET. AWAY. Must have low low low carbs to lose this fat and feel healthy and active again. Man, I hate being this heavy. I feel like ass!

Anyhoo, wanna hear something good? The past few weeks my feet have started to hurt. Like plantar fasciitis hurt. My nightmare. I thought it was because I gained back those 30 pounds really fast and my feet just freaked on me. The sharp hobbling pain when I first get up from sleeping or sitting for a while was killing me, and I just knew that crap was back... stretching the calves, rolling on a tennis ball, helped, but not really. I was facing a year of Birkenstocks again. Dammit. But, after ONE FREAKING DAY of very low carb eating, my morning pain level dropped from a 10 to a 1. Wow. Just WOW. Talk about proof of inflamation! Sheesh. Reason number 568 to stay the hell away from sugar and wheat.
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Old 07-14-2012, 11:55 AM   #1202
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Originally Posted by glamazon View Post
Day 2 for me, Amberkins! You simply nailed it: food is yummy, and sugar and wheat are just freaking delicious and addicting. MUST. GET. AWAY. Must have low low low carbs to lose this fat and feel healthy and active again. Man, I hate being this heavy. I feel like ass!

Anyhoo, wanna hear something good? The past few weeks my feet have started to hurt. Like plantar fasciitis hurt. My nightmare. I thought it was because I gained back those 30 pounds really fast and my feet just freaked on me. The sharp hobbling pain when I first get up from sleeping or sitting for a while was killing me, and I just knew that crap was back... stretching the calves, rolling on a tennis ball, helped, but not really. I was facing a year of Birkenstocks again. Dammit. But, after ONE FREAKING DAY of very low carb eating, my morning pain level dropped from a 10 to a 1. Wow. Just WOW. Talk about proof of inflamation! Sheesh. Reason number 568 to stay the hell away from sugar and wheat.
The pain in my feet prior to low carb eating was unbearable. I do have some minor nerve damage in my feet and I thought for sure it was gonna show tons on the xrays...but nope. So i can only imagine just how incredibly painful it would be if I had full-blown neuropathy! Eating lc takes away virtually all that pain and is one of the biggest reasons why i continue to eat this way despite the fact that the effing scale refuses to budge.

So glad that good eating helps you so much! It feels very liberating to shake the pain and live normal.
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Old 07-14-2012, 12:15 PM   #1203
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ANG - you are back!
I have nothing to add in addition to the great advice you have already been given. I am just glad you are back
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Old 07-14-2012, 02:00 PM   #1204
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Glad you don't have to go through a lot of foot pain again. That is no fun.

Happy low carbing.....

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Old 07-14-2012, 02:54 PM   #1205
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Ang- funny you mention foot pain,I had what I thought was the start of PF again and I have not had that since I was pregnant, I suffered all through my 20's and then when I ggot pregnant it went away, and I have not had one episode, well on vacation my left foot was killing me again, I blamed it on the 20 flip flops to match all my outfits that were too flat, LOL Maybe it was just carbs, although I always have carb episodes but never the foot pain could be the walking in sand too. I would love to say I am going to behave int he island, but I know I will be eating and drinking,so might have to keep an eye out for the foot pain!

That freaking sugar is as addicting as crack man, as soon as you have a little you want more, I ate toast with breakfast everyday during vacation with jelly, on top of pancakes or french toast, that is craziness, I never eat toast!

One thing I am feeling better the first few days of feeling like crap are past, and now I am good, and the hunger is way down, I went all day without being hungry that is crazy!
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Old 07-14-2012, 06:30 PM   #1206
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My PF is really bad right now, feels like I'm walking on bones. Very little padding left on my feet. Need to get back to my stretches again. Fell by the wayside on vacation last week..with everything else!

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Old 07-14-2012, 08:36 PM   #1207
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Inflammation is the devil! A bigger reason than weight that I stay LC.
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Old 07-15-2012, 05:34 AM   #1208
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So good to see you back Ang, and it the reduction in foot pain isn't enough to keep you going I don't know what is. Man I hate foot pain so much. I was hobbling at the festival and cursing myself for not bringing my tennies. Sometimes we women are so vain!
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Old 07-15-2012, 06:08 AM   #1209
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Good morning Ang, have a good Sunday!
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Old 07-15-2012, 04:25 PM   #1210
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Hiya! Having a nice calm day. Restocked the fridge with all those glorious green veggies we ran out of-- ready to rock! Been musing lately, so prepare for a long blah blah blah in just a minute---
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Old 07-15-2012, 04:25 PM   #1211
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I think I shook the monster loose. YAY! I am no longer shoving sugar in my mouth, no longer justifying it with really super lame excuses, and I CARE. I think the not caring is the true killer for me. I really just did not give any ****s and ate whatever I wanted. I willfully did not make the connection that eating crap = feeling like crap. Oh, I know it, but I kept eating the crap despite feeling like crap because I liked to eat the crap. You follow? Ha! Well, feeling better now, caring about the food again. Caring is step one. Again… it’s so cyclical! I really need to keep caring, and not willfully forgetting the havoc sugar and wheat have on me.

I’ve been thinking about how I’m going to handle this iteration of being strong and caring. How do I nurture it, make it stay important, make it last the rest of my life? Nothing I tried in the past lasted too terribly long. I had a run of nearly a year previously, and that worked (counting my successful days, dutifully reporting to you what I ate, pictures, etc. etc.) But eventually even that blew up in my face and I didn’t hang on. So, what to do now?

Yeah, I don’t know. Strict regimens don’t work long term. Loosey goosey approaches don’t work long term. Half-assed works only half-assedly. Daily reminders get brain numbed and ignored eventually. Knowing this is the best way for me to eat, be healthy and get trim means absolutely nothing, or so it seems. So now what?

“…just keep swimming, just keep swimming…”

I just can’t do it all. When I try to do it all, I end up doing nothing, or just plain failing my plan. So, I am currently just going to do the very barest minimum for my plan, which is:

*Eat low carb food. Duh. Any low carb food I want. Sweet, savory, low cal, high cal, whatever. LOW. CARB. As low as I can possible do, every meal. The barest minimum I can manage given whatever is going on in my life at the moment. The lowest minimum I can manage considering I adore berries and yogurt and veggies—if I don’t have them, I’ll go crazy and lose it entirely. Some days will be an easy no brainer, VLC. Some days I’ll need an LC blueberry cheesecake bar. Some days I need to eat in a weird restaurant. Not gonna waste one moment being guilty about it. As low as the day dictates is how I’m going to run it.

*Eat as little as possible. LISTEN TO MY HUNGER CUES. Each day will be different. Each day will require different amounts of food. I fully accept this. Some days I will be an eating machine. Some days will be okay skipping lunch and waiting for dinner. I am really going to focus on listening to my hunger cues. REAL hunger cues, which are easier to discern now that the crazy carb monster doesn’t have me. I think my best bet is to ask myself if I’m willing to eat some meat. That usually indicates I’m truly hungry. If I’m waffling around “hungry” for something that isn’t meat, well then, that’s just not hunger. That’s nonsense munchies, which is what I need (and want!) to avoid. I need to focus on what will fill my hunger void and not over eat. I am a chronic over eater. Will two eggs fill me as much as 3? Will half a can of tuna fill me as well as a whole can? Will a small salad be as satisfying as a giant one? I think this is my biggest challenge. It will take time, lots of time and practice to figure it out—if I ever do. Maybe this is one aspect that will forever be a constant: Each day must be treated differently, FOREVER. It will never settle into a routine. It will never fit neatly into a nice excel spreadsheet plan. My life is messy and unpredictable. I must ADAPT. DAILY.

*I need to nut up and do food prep. Cook stuff ahead of time. Pooti’s breads. Chicken breasts. Whatever. Find new recipes. Make stuff I can freeze ahead of time. (This is such a “duh” thing I almost didn’t write it down… but gots to.)

*Not going to focus on weight loss. Not going to fixate on the scale or the tape measure. I can’t allow that to consume me. My focus is HEALTH. Feeling good and being active and being a productive helpful member of society. Be a better mother, wife, sister, daughter and friend. Enjoy my business success, create things I love. THAT IS MY FOCUS. The weightloss goes hand in hand with this. It will happen if I am focusing all my power on being a healthy person. Yes, I will weigh, yes, I will crow about any poundage I lose, yes, I will be supremely pleased to buy new smaller clothes. BUT, I just can’t make it my whole reason for being. I’ve done it too often in the past, and other aspects of my life suffer (family, business, housework, yard work, going out and doing stuff, etc. ) The other stuff has to share priority.

*Focus on not body shaming myself. This is a really tough one. Body shaming is a national pastime. Feeling embarrassed about being so fat depresses me. Keeps me indoors. Keeps me from catching up with old friends. Keeps me from ENJOYING MY SHORT PRECIOUS LIFE. I really need to get over it and start living again. It’s not easy to overcome body shame. I’ve lived with it for more than a decade now. I remember how it felt when I went to the water park and just had a really damn good time, letting go of all the body shaming inhibitions and just had fun being ME—not ME in a FAT SUIT. That was really powerful to truly let it go and think, **** you if you don’t like how I look! What’s your problem? Mind your own business and manners. I’m fat, so what? Like that should stop me from loving myself and my life? I need to get over myself and not care that I am a lot pudgier than I was 20 years ago. I need to be fine with my body, no matter how it looks at the moment. It’s mine, the only one I’ve got, harboring the only fleeting blip of life I’m ever going to have. I have to be completely at peace with what I see in the mirror. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to change it, lose weight, get healthy, feel even better… it just means I have to quit body shaming myself. Right now.

*Not going to worry about exercise just yet. Can’t do everything at once. Have a swimming pool, weight room, lovely parks and woods, and my favorite kettlebells awaiting the time I’m ready.

That’s about it. Just gonna get to it.

Last edited by glamazon; 07-15-2012 at 04:33 PM..
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Old 07-15-2012, 05:11 PM   #1212
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Looks as if you have a better way worked out. It is not so rigid. Hope it works for you.

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Old 07-15-2012, 06:20 PM   #1213
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Hi Seabreezes! Hopefully it is fluid enough for me to retain control... I'm kind of stupid that way. Carbs make me stupid. So far, so good! Not feeling hungry, not eating too much, and eating nice healthy stuff. How are you doing? Doing anything interesting lately? Read any good books?
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Old 07-15-2012, 06:31 PM   #1214
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I went to lunch at Nieman Marcus today with a girl friend. Went to the small restaurant and had a salad. We shared a desert with lots of berries on it. Yummy! I didn't have to hobble very far to get to the restaurant so that was good!

I'm just finishing an Emily Carmichael book. She has animals that talk to their owners. Cute stories. I am reading on the iPad as it is too hard to hold a book and turn the pages.
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Old 07-15-2012, 06:47 PM   #1215
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Glad you have an iPad! So helpful! How are you healing? Everything going as your doctors are liking? I worry about you, and that is my total nightmare to be injured like that abroad. Heal! Heal! Heal!

mmmmmm Nieman Marcus! I just finished two books-- Jurassic Park by Michael Creighton and Deal Breaker by Harlan Coben... both excellent beach/camping reads. Picked them up at the goodwill so I could get them as dirty and sandy and sunscreened as I knew they would! Jurassic park actually taught me quite a bit about dinosaurs-- whoa, thinking about them and how they ruled the earth for 120 million years really freaks me out. (in a good way-- I love having my mind blown, like looking at deep space through the Hubble.)
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Old 07-15-2012, 07:35 PM   #1216
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Healing is OK, just slower than I would like. Had hoped to get back to the pool, but still have to wait on the leg for a bit. Oh well, all will eventually be fine!
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Old 07-15-2012, 08:17 PM   #1217
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I think that I need to take a page out of your book about body shaming. I was just reading your post and thinking "oh yeah, she is so right". And then DH tells me that there is a picture of me tagged on facebook. So I go and look at the picture. I was thinking that I was looking pretty good yesterday. Then I saw that very unflattering pic on facebok. And then I'm all "oh crap I look like a big fat ugly cow! ". I need to not do that. I need to figure out just HOW to not do that!
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Old 07-15-2012, 08:37 PM   #1218
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Melissa! First of all-- change your facebook settings so NO ONE WILL EVER SEE A TAGGED PHOTO OF YOU UNLESS YOU APPROVE IT!! That will control the unflattering pics getting out to everyone you know. An unflattering pic is a total psyche killer! Yikes. I am a serious photo control freak, and it has nothing to do with body shaming! Even thin, the bad unflattering photos happen. This I know.

Anyway, yep, good on you for feeling good about yourself. It takes a lot of time to really believe that anti-body-shaming stuff, it's just something you have to get used to. I'm still troubled by it at times, because our entire society is so fierce about it, we've been exposed to it since we were babies. I still shudder at the thought of running into an old boyfriend, or an old frienemy, thinking they will point and laugh and give me the smug "ha ha you got fat" smile. But, really, this is my own twisted take on something that hasn't even happened, I'm sure they are worried about the same thing, or so wrapped up in their own ******** that my ******** doesn't even matter to them. I DON'T LIVE IN GOSSIP GIRL WORLD! No one gives a rats ass if I'm fat or not wearing make up. Shoot, Melissa, we both live in the NW-- where we can wear lumberjack outfits and be as fat as we can and no one would even care.

The older I get, the more I just don't care what others think... and really, that is just me catching up to reality. Others don't think jack **** about me. No one cares. The ones who do care, whose opinion really matters, well, they love me and also DON'T CARE how fat I am or how I'm dressed. So really, I am the only one who felt bad about me. That had to stop.

You are not a big fat ugly cow-- no way, no how. You just had a bad picture. GO UNTAG THAT SUCKER and tell the poster they suck for putting it up, because they KNOW it's a bad pic of you. Bad bad friend!

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Old 07-15-2012, 09:35 PM   #1219
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Hi SeaBreezes! Yes, the iPad is very helpful. Gentle hugs and healing prayers

Yay Ang for getting back in the game!

I try to make sure pics I post are flattering. Hopefully, your friend thought it was a good pic. Sometimes we hate all pics of us. If not, bad friend! I agree on the setting change. Pics can be out there, but you don't have to be tagged in them.
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Old 07-15-2012, 10:01 PM   #1220
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Melissa! First of all-- change your facebook settings so NO ONE WILL EVER SEE A TAGGED PHOTO OF YOU UNLESS YOU APPROVE IT!! That will control the unflattering pics getting out to everyone you know. An unflattering pic is a total psyche killer! Yikes. I am a serious photo control freak, and it has nothing to do with body shaming! Even thin, the bad unflattering photos happen. This I know.

Anyway, yep, good on you for feeling good about yourself. It takes a lot of time to really believe that anti-body-shaming stuff, it's just something you have to get used to. I'm still troubled by it at times, because our entire society is so fierce about it, we've been exposed to it since we were babies. I still shudder at the thought of running into an old boyfriend, or an old frienemy, thinking they will point and laugh and give me the smug "ha ha you got fat" smile. But, really, this is my own twisted take on something that hasn't even happened, I'm sure they are worried about the same thing, or so wrapped up in their own ******** that my ******** doesn't even matter to them. I DON'T LIVE IN GOSSIP GIRL WORLD! No one gives a rats ass if I'm fat or not wearing make up. Shoot, Melissa, we both live in the NW-- where we can wear lumberjack outfits and be as fat as we can and no one would even care.

The older I get, the more I just don't care what others think... and really, that is just me catching up to reality. Others don't think jack **** about me. No one cares. The ones who do care, whose opinion really matters, well, they love me and also DON'T CARE how fat I am or how I'm dressed. So really, I am the only one who felt bad about me. That had to stop.

You are not a big fat ugly cow-- no way, no how. You just had a bad picture. GO UNTAG THAT SUCKER and tell the poster they suck for putting it up, because they KNOW it's a bad pic of you. Bad bad friend!
LOVE LOVE LOVE this post angikins! I am also a photo control freak - thank god for that setting on facebook.

Love your line about the lumberjack outfits. Now that I need to see hehe!!

It is all a mental mind thing really. You hit it bang on when saying no one really cares, and the ones that do - love you no matter. I hate how we are conditioned to think this way. Sucks!! Getting older helps a lot with this thinking - well at least for me. Diving helped me suck it up with the bathing suit thing. Gotta do it if I wanna enjoy something I adore - and diving isn't glamourous - half the time we have snot running down our faces after a dive haha. If I think about all the things I would have missed if I had chosen not to participate because I am fat, and sweat and not looking pretty - man that would have been a catastrophe!

The one place I do find I get held back on the fat stuff is exercise. Like .. I am fat, everyone knows I am fat, BUT I have this mental block about exercising in public as everyone will be laughing or judging my fat sweating dying self. I know perhaps some would think - yay, look at that girl trying to do something good - but in my mind I see them making fun of me. Must be a throw back to gym class in school. MAN I hated sport in school, ok team sports, individual was ok i suppose.

GO you for beating that carb monster! Smart ang is back!
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Old 07-16-2012, 05:44 AM   #1221
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Ang I think you are smart to just do what you have done for all of last year eat LC and you lost, you ate what you wanted but you stuck to LC. You get so strict with all your rules and stuff just eat like you know how, and I agree that hunger cues are way more pronounced when not eating the crap!!! I am not tracking and doing all that, after 2 years I figure I know what is low carb, and fully aware if this is a positive or negative thing to be consuming.

Exercise- well you know its good for ya, but you have to be ready to do it, you will get to the point where you want to do it.

I know you will do this again!!!
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Old 07-16-2012, 06:41 AM   #1222
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Yeah, what is it with worrying about exercising in public? I have that too.....did at least....doesn't make sense.....we should feel good about doing it no matter what size we are....SMH
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Old 07-16-2012, 06:43 AM   #1223
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Hi Angela, I'm in your cheering section!

It's amazing how utterly crappy the sugar and wheat can make a person feel, and how LC is liberating. I remember and love looking at your meal photos, you really know how to make LC a beautiful THANG! Once you're LCing for a few days, you'll feel like a million bucks!

Honor yourself and your body, and it will pay off.

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Old 07-16-2012, 07:55 AM   #1224
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Ang, you are back to making your plans--yay!! When you get in your 'Mean Ang Making Plans' mode I know you're serious. No one knows you and your self-sabotage better than you! I always admire the way you think things through, find your weaknesses and go for the goal.
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Old 07-16-2012, 10:11 AM   #1225
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Old 07-16-2012, 10:31 AM   #1226
Very Gabby LCF Member!!!
 
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Beautiful Oregon
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Stats: 283/276.6/180 ** 6'2
WOE: Ketogenic
Start Date: 9/4/2012
Aw, loving all the hugs! Thanks!

Enjoying a plate of bacon while I catch up with you all. I'm doing A-OK. Just been thoughtful, and trying to retrain my brain to not hate (or be depressed by) my physical self. It's hard. It's so easy to hate on myself. Must think positive! Must keep busy!

Okay, off I go. have a wonderful day, everyone! XOXOXOX

PS where the heck is my Martini?
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Old 07-16-2012, 12:02 PM   #1227
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Carbville, MD
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Start Date: September 201o
LOL I just got here! Had to read your wonderfullly long posts!!! LOOK AT YOU!!! Back on the LC Wagon! I like everything u said!!! Over thinking this kills it for me. And I'm all about not caring what people think!!! AND THE PART ABOUT PORTION CONTROL...SO ME!!! Good thoughts and positive vibes that will get you through indeed!! As for meeeee....


I lost 3 last week and gained them back at a birthday party for a dear friend. I could have made better choices but I didn't. Not gonna cry over it just move on. I partied like a rock star Saturday and my legs are punishing me. Literally I am hobbling when I first stand up!!! But I have started my eating window at 11:30 and it shall close on time today! at 7! I have had 2 ounces of water and will go for a water record!!!

ANOTHER restart measns we are still in the game!!!
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Old 07-17-2012, 10:37 AM   #1228
Way too much time on my hands!
 
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Near The Burgh! :)
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Start Date: April 3, 2010
Mmmmm....bacon.....pulling up a chair next to ya!
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Old 07-17-2012, 04:48 PM   #1229
Way too much time on my hands!
 
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Reading/PA
Posts: 13,454
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Stats: 350+/221.4/198 (5'10)
WOE: Atkins
Start Date: restarted 9/27/2010
Wassup?????????????????
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Old 07-17-2012, 07:15 PM   #1230
Very Gabby LCF Member!!!
 
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Beautiful Oregon
Posts: 4,801
Gallery: glamazon
Stats: 283/276.6/180 ** 6'2
WOE: Ketogenic
Start Date: 9/4/2012
Waaaassssssuuuuuppppppp

BBQ carne asada and salad tonight. I AM SO FLIPPING HUNGRY!

Had a nice day, nothing to report, all good. sleeping well (but with melatonin, hopfully I can get rid of that soon.) No sugar, no wheat-- tempted, because that stuff if still around for the gents of the house who have no issues with carbs whatsoever. Bastards.)

Anyway, everyone having a good week?
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