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Old 03-21-2012, 10:32 AM   #541
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Nice to see you...

Out and about.

Hope you feel great and your ..yourself soon.
Everyone misses you. Take care.
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Old 03-21-2012, 02:29 PM   #542
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Sounds like me lately Ang. Doc is changing my thyroid, etc. to try to pull me out of it. Do you think maybe yours is out of wack?

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Old 03-21-2012, 04:32 PM   #543
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Nah, Kitty. There is no mystery why I feel like ass and am depressed. I'm eating poorly. VERY VERY POORLY. I even had a Shamrock Shake last night. I KNOW! I've never had one in my life and I have no idea why I got it, but there I was drinking it. And enjoying it. So unlike me. Oh how the mighty mighty have fallen. I feel like ass, and I don't take my vitamins, I don't walk my dog, I ignore my kettlebells, and I eat more crappy lazy high carb food and round and round I go. Lazy, tired, crabby, worthless. I feel like crying because I know how wrong it is, I know what I need to do to make it right and feel better, I just... DON'T. I cry into my Shamrock Shake instead. Like a moron.

Anyhoo..
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Old 03-21-2012, 05:23 PM   #544
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I'm sorry you're having such a rough time right now Ang. I have been there so many times!

I remember being so depressed because I could not get it together! I knew what I needed to do but I didn't have the energy to pull myself together and do something about it. People always say you're supposed to try and tackle the food part of your weight loss program first and then exercise, but for me it was the opposite. I started exercising first. If I'm not exercising then the food part is out the window. Kind of an extreme mindset that I need to work on but it is what it is

I still eat junk and don't stick to my plan 100% but at least I'm burning calories and not gaining weight. Plus I really like the way exercise makes me feel. The endorphins your brain releases are like a natural feel-good high and you kind of get addicted to it. I start to feel really crappy if I miss more than a day or two.

So basically I was saying all of this to encourage you to try a different approach when you are ready to start again. The food is important and it sounds like you feel so much better physically, mentally, emotionally etc. when you are doing low carb, BUT if you can't quite handle to food part right now why not try just moving your body? Exercise has been shown to help cure depression in so many different ways! It sounds crazy but it really does seem to work. Maybe getting in some fresh air or working up a sweat will help you start to feel better inside and then you will start to feel stronger both mentally and physically? THEN you can start to focus on the food

You deserve to take care of yourself! I am rooting for you
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Old 03-21-2012, 05:37 PM   #545
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Yes Hun, small steps back. Start with a walk. Get out and get some sun and fresh air. Just aim for a small walk each day. The rest will eventually follow.
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Old 03-21-2012, 07:12 PM   #546
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Ang, I think you are suffering from a lack of sunshine. I seriously wonder if getting a full spectrum light and sitting in front of it every day would help you. And make yourself get outside and go on a walk if there's even a hint of sunlight out there! And know that spring is coming!
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Old 03-22-2012, 05:28 AM   #547
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Thinking of you Ang and I just came by to say hi!! Miss you!!
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Old 03-22-2012, 05:56 AM   #548
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Ang- you know I like the idea of just thinking about exercise I am sure part of my serious depression with this surgery was my lack of exercise that was a huge part of my life that was suddenly missing so barely being able to walk combined with extreme pain equalled one pissed off Amber!

I say it all the time the first battle is in your mind, once your mind is turned on you can do anything. You need a day or two of healthy eating to remind yourself how good you feel when you eat that way.
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Old 03-22-2012, 06:33 AM   #549
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Sorry you are feeling like crap and in a funk. It's easy to get there but it's also just as easy to get out. You know how good you feel when you are eating right. You know you want to feel good. I hope you find the strength to take those first steps, once you do it all comes easy. But I dont need to tell you this...I am preaching to the preacher LOL!
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Old 03-22-2012, 08:18 AM   #550
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Ang
I'm so sorry you are going through a hard time right now. Please don't be too hard on yourself.
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Old 03-22-2012, 02:17 PM   #551
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Aww my little gumdrop button!!!! So what flavor is a Shamrock Shake? Just green vanilla shake? Well tomorrow is a new day. Heck I was in the exact same rut. Sunday atthe casino...blueberry crepes, bread pudding and a pizza pretzel all in the same day? Oh the chips at 1 am on the ride home. Yep. I did it. The next day I try to be all goodie good and end up with a belly sicky. Sure its a painful way to lose the fat but I'll take it!

WE GOTTA GET THE MOJO BACK!!!!
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Old 03-22-2012, 03:08 PM   #552
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Dannggggg! I'm so sorry to hear this Ang! I think Jess may have something there with the full spectrum light. I think they are fairly reasonable price wise, or at least some are...why not experiment? Sayin' prayers that you get your groovy groove back sweetie!!!!
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Old 03-22-2012, 07:04 PM   #553
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Ang, just was looking at your weather for the past month...I think lack of sun is a big part of it. How I usually feel at this time of year, but we've been hogging all the nice weather lately. Crap weather can do that. If hay sun pokes out, get out there! Soak some up. I'd check into the light therapy too.

Big hugs Hun.
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Old 03-25-2012, 06:26 AM   #554
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Angela- get your booty back I hit onederland and you can too, come on out and play with us, even if you dont feel that great about LC just come chat with us, we miss our Angela!
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Old 03-25-2012, 06:45 AM   #555
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Ang! Get your booty back here. We want to hear from you no matter what! Just a poke will do Hun.
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Old 03-25-2012, 08:15 AM   #556
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Good morning, Ladies! xoxoxoxox

You will never believe the experience I had yesterday. It was the most liberated I have ever felt, and believe me I have had A LOT of liberation in my days. My brother had his birthday celebration at a waterpark.

ಠ_ಠ

Yes, I know. Horrifying. I had anxiety all week, thinking about how fat and ugly I am, how I'm extra super fat now that I abandoned my good-girl-feel-good diet, how I get winded just vaccuuming the living room, how my bathing suit look just AWFUL on me, how blotchy my skin has become, cellulite, vericose veins, chunky butt, droopy boobs, is there a weight limit on the slides? What if I get stuck and clog up the whole park? It was like I was suddenly 14 again and thought every one would be staring at me, the fat giantess. I even thought about not going, but my husband had such a wounded look on his face, I couldn't do it, I had to go.

Anyway, somehow, some way, I actually took the age old advice to just **** IT!! I'M GOING! SINCE WHEN DO I NOT WANT TO GO ON WATER SLIDES?? IF PEOPLE DON'T LIKE HOW AWFUL I LOOK, THAT'S THEIR PROBLEM. I'M GOING TO HAVE FUN.

You know, the advice that flows so freely from friends and family and even my own damn mouth... and yet actually taking it to heart and experiencing it for real, instead of false bravado, you just genuinely don't give a ****. That felt really really ridiculously good.

I had the best time! The waterpark we have here is truly magnificent, and I didn't sit like a lump on the sidelines, I rode all the slides and played in the wave pool and the works. My honeybadgerness wavered slightly when I saw that there was a giant screen showing the people who were on the green slide getting swirled around the giant toilet bowl (really!) but then, again, I just said **** IT.

We all came home grinning. So fun!

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Old 03-25-2012, 09:07 AM   #557
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So happy you could enjoy a f#}{ it moment! We need to do that from time to time!

Yay Ang!
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Old 03-25-2012, 10:50 AM   #558
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Great news! So good to throw all that crap to the wind and just enjoy isn't it?
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Old 03-25-2012, 05:51 PM   #559
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Hi, Angela! I have been thinking about you this week, so I thought I'd look you up. I scanned through a few pages here and there in your journal. Your meal pictures look absolutely yummy!

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time right now. We've all been through it, so I can certainly relate. I'm convinced that we all have to just keep plugging away and trying different things to find our own unique path to success. I've been very fortunate that hCG was the answer for me to get the last 50 pounds off. I was struggling to maintain, though, and found JUDDD right before Thanksgiving. I was pleasantly surprised that I not only got to my goal, but lost another 5! I'm not bragging here. It's hard work sometimes, but boy, it works great! I'm maintaining easily. You should check out the wonderful people and threads on the JUDDD forums.

One reason I was thinking of you was that I'm wishing I could figure out a way to make some extra money by sewing. I remembered the beautiful gowns you make and how excited you seemed about your projects. You're so fortunate to have found something you're so good at and you can make money at it. If you have any suggestions of things that seem to sell, I'd love to hear them.

I also wanted to tell you that I became a Granny 22 months ago to a beautiful little girl named Charlotte. She totally rocks my world! See?


Whatever path you choose, I wish you all the best, Angela. I think of you as that really pretty, super-tall woman from the old CAD boards. Your avatar shows that I'm right! Hugs to you!
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Old 03-25-2012, 07:31 PM   #560
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Gotta LOVE those eff it moments! It is entirely liberating! Who gives a damn about those people there. Letting others stop us from enjoying things by over worrying is crap. Fat, skinny, tall or short we all have the right to have a great damn time! You did it! It was awesome! Each time it will get easier.

I deal with that crap frequently when I go diving. I get funny looks for being the giant fat woman who wants to do what can be a taxing sport. In a bathing suit, and then wetsuit. But stuff those stupid people. If I worried about them I would miss out on so many fantastic opportunities. Now, I rarely care about the funny looks which trigger that nasty inner voice of mine. Screw that voice, I wanna have FUN!

You rock!!
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Old 03-26-2012, 03:35 AM   #561
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Aww Ang I am glad you could say F it and go and have fun!!! I dont know a woman of any size that loves walking around in bathing suit soaking wet! Let's face it that is the one thing we will always dread and it should in no way stop us from having the fun we deserve!
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Old 03-26-2012, 03:54 AM   #562
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So what's our Glam up to today? Making more pretties?
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Old 03-26-2012, 07:46 AM   #563
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THATS MY GIRL!!!! HEY WE ARE BASCK IN SYNC AGAIN!!!! I was gonna back out of my motorcycle class!!! WE WERE BOTH 2 BAD A$SES!!!!! I'm so glad you enjoyed the park!!!! Ohhh and in a bathing suit???? YOU ARE BADDER THAN ME!!!! Did you see my text????

LADIES ATTENTION!!!! OUTBACK HAS GRILLED WINGS!!!! I couldn't even finish my steak because I was full with wingettes!!!! They are seasoned and there are a few carbs but not nearly as many as the fried ones!!!!

OK ANG!!! We have to keep it going!!!! My party is in 3 weeks and I have NOTHING to wear. I'm gonna beg my aunt to make me a dress tonight...lol I fit most stuff I got out of Marshalls but it aint pretty..lmaooo

SO I NEED YOU THESE NEXT 20 DAYS!!!! DIG DEEEP!!!! PUT ON YOUR SPARKLEY POCKETS!!! I want these 12 pounds gone by party time!!! Heck sooner! 15 days until my bday!

Ms Amber has made room for me in Twoterville!!! Now let's go get my spot!!!!

ARE YOU WITH ME???
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Old 03-26-2012, 08:08 AM   #564
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Oh Martini- I want you in twoterville for your B-day just suck it up babe ofr 15 days that is nothing in the grand scheme of things, mentally if you see that it will be the best gift you can give yourself, like I cant tell you what seeing that one meant to me, and it will mean the same to you too! I will be routing for ya and I know the kind of friend that Ang is she is going to pull on her big girl pants and do it with you too!
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Old 03-26-2012, 08:59 AM   #565
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Ang, so glad you had fun!!! It's great to throw caution to the wind and do what feels good and I'm glad you were able to do it!
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Old 03-26-2012, 09:44 AM   #566
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Angela, how wonderful for you! I can honestly say that I have NEVER, ever felt relaxed or really had any fun in a swimsuit, at least not since I reached approximately age 12. What a huge mental hurdle you leaped!
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Old 03-26-2012, 07:23 PM   #567
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Martini! Get your arse in there! Twoterville is calling you!

Ang!!!!!!

Don't make me do it!
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Old 03-26-2012, 08:22 PM   #568
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Quote:
Originally Posted by glamazon View Post
You know, the advice that flows so freely from friends and family and even my own damn mouth... and yet actually taking it to heart and experiencing it for real, instead of false bravado, you just genuinely don't give a ****. That felt really really ridiculously good.

I had the best time! The waterpark we have here is truly magnificent, and I didn't sit like a lump on the sidelines, I rode all the slides and played in the wave pool and the works. My honeybadgerness wavered slightly when I saw that there was a giant screen showing the people who were on the green slide getting swirled around the giant toilet bowl (really!) but then, again, I just said **** IT.

We all came home grinning. So fun!
How awesome Angela! So happy for you!
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Old 03-27-2012, 06:47 AM   #569
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bejewelme View Post
Oh Martini- I want you in twoterville for your B-day just suck it up babe ofr 15 days that is nothing in the grand scheme of things, mentally if you see that it will be the best gift you can give yourself, like I cant tell you what seeing that one meant to me, and it will mean the same to you too! I will be routing for ya and I know the kind of friend that Ang is she is going to pull on her big girl pants and do it with you too!
I'M GONNA!!! No more carbs here and there. I had my bacon egg and sausage with coffee breakfast. I have salad and half a steak for lunch. Ugh the salad is from Sunday. Hope its edible....lol
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Old 03-27-2012, 09:02 AM   #570
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OK Martini- I am routing for you girl!! NO carbs for 14 more days!!!!
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