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Old 02-18-2013, 08:54 PM   #1831
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I am not doing well. This image is the me that I am not. I can't get off the ground. I keep running back to the old habits that keep me stuck where I am. It's like I've used up all my "tries" and I don't have anything left to really believe in (to lose weight.)

My body literally hurts. I am limping around. I feel 70 years old again. And yet when I came home from the farm tonight, I stopped and bought a bottle of Chardonnay and ordered a pizza for delivery. I ate the whole medium "house special" and I'm working on the bottle of wine. I am in no less pain than I was before, even though I took a full-strength aspirin.

I don't want advise or hugs or pep talks. In fact, I don't know why I bother hanging out on LCF anymore. I feel like it no longer helps to have diet buddies. I need to find a new motivation. The same old thing just isn't working for me.

I need a change. I just don't know what change that might be.
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Old 02-18-2013, 08:57 PM   #1832
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Old 02-18-2013, 09:27 PM   #1833
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for you Cheryl
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Old 02-18-2013, 11:43 PM   #1834
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so sorry you had such a bad day . We are here for you Cheryl
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Old 02-19-2013, 05:39 AM   #1835
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I hear ya Cheryl, some days are just tough. It stinks but it's just tough.
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Old 02-19-2013, 09:37 AM   #1836
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Hey, Cheryl! Get your head back in the game--you can DO this

I got my bottle of pellets out of the medicine chest. I am loading today and starting tomorrow, and I think we need to do this together.

I had a long, hectic weekend with Dave home. We had a fancy meal out for Valentine's day, which I amazingly was able to keep totally low carb. However, the rest of the weekend was just further and further off track, with much time spent at the Pomona Raceway where he had pit passes and hospitality booth tickets for one of the race teams--food everywhere and choices very limited.

But I am determined to do a 21 day round, come hell or high water, so here I am. Come with me!
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Old 02-19-2013, 09:50 AM   #1837
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Wanna hear something funny and a bit ridiculous? I weighed today and I expected to be higher than I was when I began to load for the round. I'm down 4 lbs. I still feel so sore all over my lower body so instead of taking my usual Motrin, I tried 2 buffered aspirin. OMG! I feel absolute relief from all the pain.

My body has been hurting almost like it had the flu. I will be taking the aspirin instead of the motrin now. I bought it for my dog and give her one aspirin twice a day, per the Vet's advise (for her hips.) I'm shocked that they are helping me so much better than the motrin. They are buffered but I'll still try to take them with something in my stomach.

They are finally divulging information about that sick young man who killed all those kids and teachers in Newtown. He was an accident waiting to happen. Very sad. What a waste.

Maggie, I love your Avi. Feeling just like that woman these days. It's gravity's fault!

Rain moving in today but I am off work and don't intend to leave the house. I have a few things I really need to get done but I have no interest in going anywhere. I need a day here and there to do NOTHING and those days are rare lately.

So, back to my favorite subject (yeah, right): losing weight. I stopped taking the pellets as of last night, so missed 2 doses so far. Since the loading part of an hhcg round is the only part I seem to be interested in, I don't see where I can go with this right now. I feel weak and exposed, making all these very visible attempts and aborts online. That's what makes it even worse.

Gonna post this. It's taking too long to write and I'm distracted. Have a good day, ladies. See you later.
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Old 02-19-2013, 09:57 AM   #1838
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Enjoy your round, Jessica. I will be cheering you on as I sort out what to do myself. My head was never in the game, so to get it "back" in the game is irrelevant. You'll do great, cutie.
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Old 02-19-2013, 10:08 AM   #1839
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Take some time for yourself and no one else, it is all about you you know? I know that you will sort out anything you need to, I am just glad that you are feeling somewhat better. I think we are all here not for just weight support but just to support one another as ladies in general. Have a nice Tuesday!

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Old 02-19-2013, 10:11 AM   #1840
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Girl, I too have had a million starts and stops, and right here in public in front of everyone. Unlike the real, cruel world out there, THIS is a safe place to be yourself. And weight control is a lifelong journey and there will never be an arrival, alas.

However, I'm not here to pressure you. You may just need some mental and physical rest right now--you've undertaken a very strenuous new lifestyle, it's bitterly cold and you work outdoors, and you may feel on some deep level that you simply need more FUEL than the miserly hcg diet can give you. And heck, you probably do!!

Just keep coming around here for emotional support, regardless of what you decide to do. We're here for you.
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Old 02-19-2013, 10:17 AM   #1841
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Girl, I too have had a million starts and stops, and right here in public in front of everyone. Unlike the real, cruel world out there, THIS is a safe place to be yourself. And weight control is a lifelong journey and there will never be an arrival, alas.

However, I'm not here to pressure you. You may just need some mental and physical rest right now--you've undertaken a very strenuous new lifestyle, it's bitterly cold and you work outdoors, and you may feel on some deep level that you simply need more FUEL than the miserly hcg diet can give you. And heck, you probably do!!

Just keep coming around here for emotional support, regardless of what you decide to do. We're here for you.
Ditto, what I wanted to say!
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Old 02-19-2013, 10:20 AM   #1842
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Thank you, ladies. Will stick around while I sort stuff out.
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Old 02-19-2013, 01:36 PM   #1843
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Take a breath..

You are working harder..Dealing with very
cold weather.

You keep trying different eating plans.
I think maybe for now..you need protein &
veggies. More fuel for your body on working
days. If stay away from sweets and wine,
you still will lose. Bet your toning up with
hard work at the farm. Just my view. (right or wrong)

Know your sore, hope your body gets use to it.
Just think bigger paychecks.

Also hope the weather gets better soon.

Take care
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Old 02-19-2013, 02:52 PM   #1844
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Don't blame you for not starting right now..... I don't know how people do 500 calories and with all the hard work, I think you need to have some time to decide.

We are all friends here and no one is judging you ! (hugs) Hope you have a great day at home !
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Old 02-19-2013, 04:26 PM   #1845
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Old 02-19-2013, 05:24 PM   #1846
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I wasn't going to do anywhere near 500 calories. I was planning on 1000 but I just couldn't get in the P2-food groove. I didn't give it enough time but all I was interested in was loading.

Maybe I feel like I'm working so hard and making money so I deserve all these indulgences. I was so strapped for cash for so long that maybe having additional income is going to my head. And people keep telling me how many calories I must be burning at the farm and how toned I'm going to be, etc. Maybe this is part of why I justify my behavior.

Rainy and mild here today but it's going back to the cold and windy weather tomorrow. Will survive, I'm sure.

Hey, ladies. Have any of you heard how bad Splenda is for you? I always knew about Equal but Splenda is very bad for you, too. Seems Stevia is the only thing (or Sweet n' Low) that isn't seriously bad for us. I am going to see if I can buy a Stevia plant and learn to like the flavor. I've never tasted it before.

Is that the stuff that some people say has a licorice flavor to it?
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Old 02-19-2013, 06:54 PM   #1847
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Hi Cheryl,
Glad you're doing better today. I hope you can find a healthful way to eat that you don't feel deprived and lose weight at the same time. I can definitely relate to you on this stuff. So many years of feeling deprived, & not being able to eat "normal" like my skinny family, so much guilt & resentment actually. But, like I was exhorting a friend today (at church)... I would not trade how I feel now for any of the foods that I have given up. Its a process though. Many times of trial & error, falling & getting up. You will make it! We're all rooting for you!

I tried Stevia several times. My take: I can't stand the taste. It also upsets my stomach. Makes me "bloat." But my DIL loves it. She uses the vanilla flavored, in the packets. (I don't know if the vanilla flavor is carb free though)?

Sorry about your weather. Ours cooled off too. Such a strange winter!
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Old 02-19-2013, 07:08 PM   #1848
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It really is, isn't it? (Strange winter.) It can't be over quick enough to suit me.

Thanks for the support and empathy. I guess I just figured dieting and exercise came pretty easily for you. It makes me feel good to hear you say that "you wouldn't trade how you feel now for any of the foods that you've given up." I remember feeling that way and marvelling at how much peace and satisfaction there was in being in control and actually not having everything under the sun. Somehow things are more precious when limited. And when it's by choice, it's empowering.

I'm going to try to get to sleep now. Have a good night, everyone. Hugs and love to you all. Peaceful dreams and a blessed week to all who read this.
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Old 02-19-2013, 08:01 PM   #1849
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You sound much more peaceful now, Cheryl. Hope you sleep well!
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Old 02-19-2013, 09:25 PM   #1850
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It really is, isn't it? (Strange winter.) It can't be over quick enough to suit me.

Thanks for the support and empathy. I guess I just figured dieting and exercise came pretty easily for you. It makes me feel good to hear you say that "you wouldn't trade how you feel now for any of the foods that you've given up." I remember feeling that way and marvelling at how much peace and satisfaction there was in being in control and actually not having everything under the sun. Somehow things are more precious when limited. And when it's by choice, it's empowering.

I'm going to try to get to sleep now. Have a good night, everyone. Hugs and love to you all. Peaceful dreams and a blessed week to all who read this.

i thought Debby had not struggled too much with dieting either Cheryl, guess cause I started reading her journal AFTER she was at maintenance. And she never seems to fall off the wagon - so dedicated ! I guess everyone struggles after having weight gains.

You DO sound like you feel better and I'm thankful. Keep posting sweet lady and know we have you in our prayers
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Old 02-20-2013, 07:52 AM   #1851
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Good morning, Cheryl! I up early because it's music teacher day. Wanted to say hi on my way out. I'm nervous and excited about my VLCD 1!

Wishing you a happy day.
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Old 02-20-2013, 10:50 AM   #1852
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You ladies just could not be any sweeter. Laura, that's when I discovered Debby, too. Did she have a journal for her weight loss time frame?

Jessica, so nice of you to think of me on your first P2 morning, as you're about to run out the door. I hope you have a great day with those kids. They must really be excited on music class day.

I'm trying to suck down some soup so I can take my vitos and some aspirin, so I'm typing with one hand between bites. I know better than to go to the farm without eating something and taking my pills.

Okay! Got two hands on the keyboard again. I have the farm today and the mild, wet weather is gone and we're back to freezing temps and wind. Perhaps a few flurries later on when I'm at the farm. I have two volunteers on Wednesday so I'm going to leave the paddocks for them. Not being mean, just know that they can't handle the things like passing out the hay. I learned that the first Wednesday we worked together. Time served on the farm does not make a person a more knowledgeable worker.

I took a very lazy day off yesterday and didn't leave the house at all. That means I only have tomorrow left to get the things I need to get accomplished done this week. I'm off Saturday too, but that will be a day to deal with the next snow storm event. At least that's what I'm hearing.

The yard here at the house needs some attending to, as well. Major poop patrol is in order. So, lots of things I need to be doing, but I'm just hanging out here with y'all. AND I still need to replace the mailbox and pick up my mail at the post office. Yeesh!

So I better get the heck out of here. BBL. Wish me good luck at the farm. Little wind would be all I'd need in order to have a pleasant afternoon.

Have a great day, ladies.

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Old 02-20-2013, 11:17 AM   #1853
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oh.... I don't know for sure...... ??? maybe Debby just started one after reaching maintenance..

Hope you have a good day Chickie !! I'm staying home today ... washing sheets, sweeping, dusting, vacuuming, etc....... dull and boring but it's gloomy and drizzling outside. Had a quick nap too !
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Old 02-20-2013, 11:28 AM   #1854
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Cheryl so good to read that you are feeling better about things. I have been using Stevia the Sweetleaf brand for awhile now and I do like it. Splenda has a more sweeter taste to me and I have also heard that it is not so good for you. My hubby likes his Splenda and I couldn't get him to try Stevia if I wanted too. I am defintitely a carbaholic and I wanted to get the sweet taste off of my taste buds and using Stevia helps, Splenda's aftertaste is so much sweeter to me. Now when I bake for hubby I acutally use half of the Splenda a recipe calls for because of the taste. Some do say that Stevia has a licorice taste to it and it somewhat does but I totally like it better than Splenda now.

Have a nice Wednesday!
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Old 02-20-2013, 05:07 PM   #1855
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You ladies just could not be any sweeter. Laura, that's when I discovered Debby, too. Did she have a journal for her weight loss time frame?
Quote:
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oh.... I don't know for sure...... ??? maybe Debby just started one after reaching maintenance..
Hey there! Yeah, I started the journal after I got to goal. But my first entry is a bit of an overview of my journey, since you're interested. As you can see in my info, I joined lowcarbfriends in 2006. Then went on to other things & came back this year. I have a long history (40+ years) of dieting. Many of those years were heart-breaking. The last 20 yrs. have been the greatest success in this area. Being free of bulimia & compulsive overeating (through the work Jesus did in me) in those years has given me so much more strength. I sure do understand weakness, and I'm here to cheer you on!
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Old 02-20-2013, 05:40 PM   #1856
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Laura, i so need a day of just cleaning around here! the farm seems to be my first concern. tomorrow i have to force myself to run 2 errands. well, make that 3.

maggie, i'll have to find a way to try stevia without investing too much money. been there, done that. but i never knew splenda was harmful until just the other day. hard to keep using it...

i'll go read the beginning of your journal, debby. i love this post of yours! victory in Jesus! thank you for sharing. it helps me to see "the bigger picture."

farm was SO cold and windy. glad to be back home where it's warm. have a lovely evening, girls.
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Old 02-20-2013, 05:48 PM   #1857
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wow, debbie! what an amazing introductory post! i'm on generic synthroid and suffer from serious heat intollerance! is that the reason why????

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Old 02-20-2013, 06:04 PM   #1858
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wow, I guess I sounded kinda nosey ! Sorry ! I will go re-read the intro too God Is Good Glad you have overcome those problems Debby !

I got lots done today ! Yay !

Cheryl you sound happy and I'm glad for you . I have a big bag of splenda, have never tried stevia, but I'm considering stopping AS's all together ?? I cut down some today ~~ well in my drinks. I did make a LC cheesecake b/c I'm making a sopapilla cheesecake to take to College Station this weekend as one of the things I'm bringing for our get together...... and it's super yummy so I want one I can eat without feeling guilty
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Old 02-20-2013, 07:59 PM   #1859
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i just ordered 2 books on amazon. one's just being released this weekend. one's called, "the end of overeating. taking control of the insatiable american appetite." the new release one is something i just read about in yahoo news. "salt, sugar, fat: how the food giants hooked us." food for thought. will get the first book in 2 days. need a new mailbox!!
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Old 02-20-2013, 09:59 PM   #1860
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wow, debbie! what an amazing introductory post! i'm on generic synthroid and suffer from serious heat intollerance! is that the reason why????
Oh Cheryl, that's aweful. I hated that! I soaked myself 3-5 times a night (if I remember correctly). Have you ever read the info on stopthethyroidmadness site? Its so good! That's why I went onto natural thyroid meds. Still dealing with drs that don't want to test all the T's... I'm going to have to insist next appointment. Thinking I may need even more T3 then the natural thyroid gives me. We'll see... have to get blood tested again in 10 days or so.
Books sound good. I have a couple of books I'd like to buy too... good thing I can't remember the names of them!

Laura, you didn't sound nosey to me. I'm glad you asked.
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