The Continuing Saga of CherylB's Weight Loss Journey (part 2)

[CherylB]

Sorry. I've been busy with the farm and trying to get caught up on other busier threads. I have decided to do another round of rogue hhcg. I ordered some fresh pellets and they should arrive sometime next week. I will start P2 on Sunday and I'll go for as long as I can do it and still feel fit to do my job at the farm. I'll eat close to 1000 cals per day and keep it more like a lower fat Atkins.

Please, no worried or concerned posts about my next round. I know we don't all approve of hcg but I need to get the weight off faster than Atkins will allow. Each time I do it, it is less and less effective for weight loss. I can maintain my losses for the rest of my life by eating LC, but it's going to take a greater effort to get the pounds gone. I need them gone sooner than later.

Winter's days are numbered and soon we will be able to start working the horses out. They are in great need of exercise. Some of them are getting rowdy and unruly and it's mostly because they need to run around. That means that I'm going to have to ramp up my physical exercise right along with them.

I have almost no clothes that fit me right now. I refuse to go buy more fat clothes. I bought a bunch of jeans from Goodwill. They were comfortable enough in the dressing room but in real life, they are lower on my hips than I find comfortable. I like "Mom Jeans". I'm high-waisted and if I don't wear jeans that come up that high, I'm constantly tugging them back up when I bend and move.

I have "The Horse's Ball" on March 9. That is part of my need for speed. I will have to go off P2 for that one evening but then I'll be right back at it. I wish I had thought to start this round a week or more ago but I really thought Atkins would work. I can't afford to keep waiting for it to pay off. Been there before.

I will just do my best on P2 and see how far I can get with it. I'll do a clean P3 and a careful P4 and then see where I'm at. Maybe after that, Atkins will work a little better for me. If not, perhaps another round. I'm open to whatever works and still allows me to feel strong and able to do what I need to do with the horses. That's the bottom line. I can't be weak!

I plan to load on Friday and Saturday, then begin VLCD1 on Sunday. (Though "very low calorie" is not what I'm going to be doing. I don't see how that could possibly work with my situation.) My Dr has no problem with me doing hhcg but he does not agree with eating 500 calories a day. I once had a scab on my ankle that wasn't healing and I showed it to him. He said it was because I was malnourished from the low cal hhcg I was doing. He had a point. That thing took over a month to heal!

This is my only day off until next Tuesday so I want to enjoy it at home. I picked up an extra afternoon shift tomorrow, Saturday from 10:30-1 there is an orientation for new volunteers and I've been asked to assist, Sunday afternoon is an extra shift I picked up and then Monday is my regular day. That's why I wanted to hold-off until Sunday to start P2. The reason there are so many extra shifts this week is due to the morning girl going to visit her Father in AZ.

We were supposed to get another inch or two of snow last night but they all evaporated in the atmosphere because the air was so devoid of moisture. It's very sunny today and in the 40's. Spring is just around the bend!

I hope you are all doing well. Sorry for disappearing on my journal. I'll do better from now on.

[DebbyL]

Happy Valentines Day
Hope you're having a good one! Such a busy girl. Glad its going well. Hope your plans turn out just as you hope also.

[shelby'snana]

I was just playing with you ! Good luck with your plans

[tay65]

Happy Valentine's Day! Hope you relaxed and took it easy today. You have a busy schedule ahead.
Listen to this! The internet installer came and rescheduled because the satellite has to go on a pole in the yard and he didn't have the stuff to do it since it wasn't on the order. Geeze! Now its scheduled for Monday morning at 8 am!!!
Well, ttys! Good night!

[CherylB]

Oh no! Figures... That stuff is more routine than out of the ordinary, I'm afraid. Now it's between 0800 and 1300, right? Dorks.

Very cute pic of your little valentine. She's really growing up! Is she still doing well with her Dad's visits at your house? How's the big girl bed thing going?

I did indeed relax today. I ran out to get some good stuff to eat for my load and I took my first pellets this evening. Next dose will be at 0900. I may start P2 VLCD1 on Saturday. I just want to see how it goes for now. I'm so sick of being a blimp. I fit in well at the farm.

I moved my flat screen HD tv today and put it in a better location in my living room but then I had the dickens of a time to get the dog gone cable box to connect. I tried everything I could think of, including following the cable line through the cob-webbed nasty basement to make sure it wasn't a problem "down there." I knew it had to be something to do with moving it but it took ages for me to figure it out. Turns out if was just a set-up thing with the tv and once I went through the menu, ta-da.

I started watching some program in HD about asteroids but that wasn't hitting the spot. Somehow I ended up on a channel that was showing Gone with the Wind. It wasn't in HD but was pretty nice anyway. I missed the beginning where Tara was pristine and tuned in during the war. I watched it until the end and it was so good. I had forgotten how good it was. Poor old Scarlett. "After all; tomorrow's another day!" Yeesh. I think Ret comes back to here eventually, don't you?

It was nice to be so comfortable in the living room, watching the tv. It was up on a bookcase in the corner of the room before. Now it's on a low end table that is directly in the middle of the room, right at eye level when you're relaxing on either the love seat or the couch. Now all I need is to have some company. Someday when I have some time off!!!

I am so ready to shed this weight. I don't think P2 is going to be hard, knowing how desperately I want to be back down to where I was before. I don't even care about my final goal at this point, just help me get back to 160!!!

Good night to all my valentines. Sleep tight.

[CherylB]

In other news, my sister did swing by Costco today and she bought me the biggest bottle of Glucosamine and Chondroitin that they had. It was under $20 bucks but I don't know how many pills are in the container or how many days' dosages it holds. But I'm going to begin taking it and God willing, my hip will heal enough for me to ride them ponies this year! Yee Haw!!

[verbqueen]

Hi, Cheryl! Hey, you get nothing but support from this corner. Hcg was a miracle for me and has brought nothing but positives and improved health to my life! And as I've said all along, I fully intend to do another round very soon, once I feel like my "insanity" is fully curbed by Atkins.

Actually, I will just plan to start WITH you, and we can be hcg buddies, as we have been in the past. Be sure to let me know what day you start! I'm not going to do a traditional load--will probably just stay low carb on my load days, but maybe up the calories with extra fat. I just don't want to let carbs back into my world.

I'm excited about this--I'm ready for a project, and projects are more fun with a partner!

[CherylB]

That's so cool, Jessica! I will start Sunday morning. I'll be using the old pellets and then switching to the fresh ones when they arrive next week. I'm going to keep calories a bit high and stay LC but limit the fat as much as I can. I hope I don't weigh often because that is what gets me down. (No pun intended and not in the least bit humorous.)

How much are you hoping to lose? I don't think you regained much of what you lost (like someone else I know.)

I thought my only hurdle in March would be The Horse's Ball but my sister's birthday is March 2nd and that will mean pizza party. I will have to do what you do, Jessica. I need to become masterful at the art of looking like I'm eating more than I'm eating. I hate announcing that I'm on a diet. Suddenly everyone feels sorry for me because I can't enjoy the meal. And then that kind of makes them feel bad, too. So I will just be a stealth dieter and see if I can pull it off.

I have to get ready for work. What a busy week! Can't wait til that young girl gets back from AZ. She seems to have taken just the right week to escape CT, huh! Have a super day, ladies. Jessica, Sunday's our day! Will you be ready?

[tay65]

Heck, maybe I should just jump on the wagon with you and Jessica! I'll load today and tomorrow. Oh geeze! Here I go again! I'll go grocery shopping and get the foods I want to eat. I hope I don't get that "sick" feeling again. Maybe I need to eat more. I have to try the rice krispies again too! I hope I can eat them this round too. LOL
The internet guy said I'd be the first at 8. I have to wake up early! And on a day I don't have to watch Chloe til 11.
Chloe is ok seeing her dad here, he hasn't seen her in 2 weeks. He had the nerve to TELL my dd he was coming this past Wed and yesterday when he got off work. NOPE! Ain't gonna happen during the week. He'd be here during dinner! Hes on my nerves.
Chloe has barely slept in her bed! My dd is lazy! Just like potty training! She puts her on her potty when I tell her to do it. And Chloe's smart, she'll go on it if we "catch" her at the right time. She's telling us when she goes in her diaper so its time to start this. She'll pee and say "uh ohhh" ! LOL
Hope ur day at the farm goes well. Give lots of horsie hugs!

[tay65]

Forgot to say I put new pics of Chloe in her album in my gallery. Atleast you can click on them and see them bigger there.

[CherylB]

I'll go check those pics when I'm done with this post. I'm so tired, Tammy. I can't wait to get back to just my 2 afternoons a week schedule. It's not going to be back to normal come Monday, either. When I got to the farm today, the manager wrote on her note to me that she'll need us to do a repeat of this weekend, next weekend. The girl I thought was in AZ is still here but she's supposed to be having dental surgery. Now it's been postponed?

So I will get up in the morning and be there for 10:30 and do what they need me to do for the orientation. That will end around 1pm so it's not that long, and I can go home and relax after that.

The goats would not go back to the barn. They didn't want to walk through all that mud again! The elderly goat just stood their shivering and I couldn't get her to move in any direction no matter what I did. Finally someone pulled into the driveway (just in the nick of time) and it was the program director. I hollered to her and she went and got a long lead rope. She looped it around the goats hind quarters and I had the leash attached to her collar, then we did this application of pressure simultaneously and that got her moving at a good clip. I couldn't just leave her there and I couldn't pick her up and wheel her back in the wheelbarrow! I didn't know what to do.

I had a volunteer today and this woman is knowledgeable. I didn't know her, so I couldn't assume that she knew what she was doing. I found out by checking up on her after she'd done something that she did know a lot. But having to go check up on someone doesn't seem to save me all that much time than if I had to do it all myself. I'm just tired and feel like I'm a whiner.

Tammy, that's very cool that the three of us will be duking it out together on P2. I was thinking about it today and realizing how fat I have let myself become again and I feel like I'm starting almost from square one again. I hope I can see some improvements soon. And I hope this will work the way it did the first round I did, and not have become less effective, the way Atkins tends to do with repeated attempts.

I have to think positive about this. It's going to work great. I'm going to feel wonderful and the pounds are going to fall off me and I'm going to wonder why I waited so long to get back in the hcg saddle again. Right? That's right!!!!

So, that's all I have to say about that ( Makes me think of Forest Gump.) I'm going to take my meds and get very comfortable and then off to la-la-land I will go. Guess what? I see there are some really great mattress sales going on for President's Day. I'm going to see if I can buy a new mattress! I really need one, and then I can be sure I'm getting the most recuperation when I lay my tired @$$ down at night.

Night, girls. Hugs and kisses!

[DebbyL]

Hi girls,
Sounds like you've all got a good plan. I think not loading on carbs is a great idea. Hope it works for you all.

Cheryl sounds like good hard work today. I remember well chasing goats around... they really are something. Good hard work-week for me too. I'm so happy its Friday night! We had a shorter week this week, with double the projects to get done... & I'm on the other side of it!

I have gone on lower carb the last two days (to get rid of inflammation). Sure felt lousy this morning! But it passed. And I was down a lb. of the water wt. Hope the rest goes soon. I did take a few of my measurements this morning & they are the same or smaller, so that was re-assuring... Once I get rid of the water retention, I'm going to be very careful with adding carbs. Last week I was eating both Quinoa and an apple. Starting to think it was one of those, like your chia seeds.

Hope you have a good rest & encouraging day tomorrow.

[CherylB]

Thanks, Debby. Me too! I need some down time! I like your very cautious approach to maintenance. Better to tip-toe and stay steady than to feel overly confidant and to be bobbing all over the scale. I'm glad Friday is the end of your work week. I wish I could share in that feeling of relief.

The fun thing about tomorrow is that the lady I met and ended up recruiting in the Dr's office (I'm sure I wrote about that) will be there at the orientation. That will be very cool.

[DebbyL]

Originally Posted by CherylB

Thanks, Debby. Me too! I need some down time! I like your very cautious approach to maintenance. Better to tip-toe and stay steady than to feel overly confidant and to be bobbing all over the scale. I'm glad Friday is the end of your work week. I wish I could share in that feeling of relief.

The fun thing about tomorrow is that the lady I met and ended up recruiting in the Dr's office (I'm sure I wrote about that) will be there at the orientation. That will be very cool.

Yes! That's going to be fun!

[tay65]

I loaded alittle today, will continue tomorrow too. I'll see how I feel after tomorrow whether I load again Sunday.
Chloe's dad is coming tomorrow at 2. He had better play with her and show her some attention. I think I'll say something if he doesn't. I'm tired of keeping my mouth shut when it comes to him.
Sounds like you had an interesting, but hard day at the farm. Goats are funny. They can be stubborn, can't they?
Well, tired here. Off to la-la land for me. Night....

[CherylB]

Tammy, are you telling me that the father comes to see her and doesn't play with her or show her attention? What does he do, then? Come for dinner? Watch tv? OMG. I wouldn't let the #%&^ in the door. Let him do some growing up first!

Once again, I'm so tired. My back and legs are killing me. Partly because of all the extra weight I'm carrying and partly due to the physical labor I do. I need a nice couple of days off in a row. I need to get my fanny back to the gym if only to soak in the hot tub and bask in the dry sauna. Some serious heat therapy would do me a world of good.

This is my "last hooray" and then it's P2 for me starting Sunday morning. I haven't done anything to try and preserve all the food I bought for Atkins. I guess tomorrow I'll work through the refrigerator and see what can be frozen, given away or thrown in the trash. I want my options to be very clear when I open up the refrigerator door.

We got another 2 inches of the fluffy stuff overnight. I had forgotten they said we might get some snow. When I woke up with a lot of effort (in order to make the orientation for 10:30) and saw that, I wasn't sure if the orientation hadn't been cancelled. It wasn't and so I went and it was fine.

I can't even explain how horrible I feel. I'd forgotten just how terrible it was to be this fat. How did I ever live my life at 234+???? No wonder I hardly ever left the house. This is no way to live. No wonder I thought about suicide! And yes, I often did.

It's 7:30 pm and I'm going to relax and enjoy the rest of my night. Be back tomorrow and will chat before heading to the farm for the pm shift. Apparently there is a lot of help on Sunday afternoons and they are experienced people. I wonder how much I'll have to do. I never know what time people tend to arrive. I think that's the suckiest part for me. I like to know what to expect.

The heating pad heat is soaking into my tired and sore body and I'm going to lay back and take it all in. Motrin did nothing for the discomfort. I miss the days when I had access to Percocet. That stuff works wonders.

Goodnight and sweet dreams. Tomorrow begins my odyssey. You on board for Sunday Jessica? Or will you start on Monday with Tammy? Either way, I'm going in.

[DebbyL]

Sorry you're so sore. Its good that you have this recorded, so you can look back & see how you felt when you were carrying all the extra wt. It is such a load, we were never meant to carry. Just like all addictions.

You've been so strong & seen such great changes in the last few months. Wow, your life is such a testimony! I'm so happy for you taking back the control, submitting to self-discipline & seeing so many blessings in return.

Good idea to get some time at the hot tub... soak those muscles!

I had a very restful day, worked on my books, while DH slept all day. He's still sick, but showing some signs of improvement. If he's better tomorrow, we'll be going swimming with ds & his 4 kiddo's. I haven't been swimming in years! Probably need a new swim-suit. But oh well.

Have a good evening & rest!

[CherylB]

Thank you for saying that, Debby. I'm a work in progress, for sure. You bet your sweet bippy, you'll need a new swim suit! Go out and buy yourself something lovely to wear to the pool. Strut that stuff! Talk about a testimony!

I hope your hubby is much better soon.

[DebbyL]

Thanks Cheryl,
I've been looking at them in catalogs, but would like to try them on. The one I've got has only been used a few times. Bought it when I was thin, but I've always had issues with being too cold. I'm hoping that with the thyroid improvements I can stand it.

Thanks me too.

[CherylB]

Too cold seems like something you'd experience in ANY bathing suit. I'm glad you bought the suit when you were already thin. So where's the problem? Enjoy yourself and bring along a cover-up for when you come back out of the pool. If you don't own one of those, add that to your list of catalog shopping items.

Today is P2VLCD1 (see daily note in siggy from now on.) I weighed but I'm not posting it right now. I feel HORRIBLE. I will try not to weigh daily, even in the very beginning. I want to let how I feel and how my clothes fit me be my guide as to how I'm doing. I get so caught up on the numbers and when they don't move, I get very discouraged. So this is the plan. I hope I can stick to that. and just go by how I feel.

Just ate breakfast/lunch which was one oz of cheddar cheese, then took all my vitamins. About to sip on my first cup of coffee with 1 oz half and half. Yep; I'm doing this similar to Atkins. We shall see how it goes. I never did understand the need to keep the diet VLC and also extremely low in fat. The body fat will be released and used for fuel whether our 500 or so calories come from fat/protein or protein/carbs.

So, that's my approach. I hope it doesn't turn around and bite me in the tushy.

Got the farm again today. Marathon week! And it's in the 20 degree range with wind gusts in the 30 mph range (Now they're saying 40 mph). The farm is at the very top of a large hill (CT calls them mountains.) The temps will drop into the single digits tonight so I hope the horses are all wearing their heavy sheets. Otherwise I'll have to remove their medium weight sheets and apply the heavy ones for their over-night.

I just want to hide when the weather is so unfriendly. I'm sure the horses are going to want to come in early and I won't stand in their way. I just won't be passing out their dinner hay until dinner time. Every day is something different and you have to adjust how you do your job by the weather conditions. The manager tells me how she wants things done that night but I'm getting a good feel for what she wants and expects depending on how the weather is.

Have a good day, everyone. Please pray that I can keep my energy level up on this low calorie diet plan. I need to stay strong and full of life to keep up with the physical demands of my farm job.

[MagieDen]

I have been lurking on your journal from time to time and decided to post. I will be starting VLCD tomorrow so I will check in on you from time to time if you don't mind. I am totally stuffed today and am ready to cool my eating for the next few weeks and I know I will be eventually longing for P3 but for now P2 here I come. BTW- I have always liked your daily notes.

[DebbyL]

Originally Posted by CherylB

Too cold seems like something you'd experience in ANY bathing suit. I'm glad you bought the suit when you were already thin. So where's the problem? Enjoy yourself and bring along a cover-up for when you come back out of the pool. If you don't own one of those, add that to your list of catalog shopping items.

Have a good day, everyone. Please pray that I can keep my energy level up on this low calorie diet plan. I need to stay strong and full of life to keep up with the physical demands of my farm job.

Thanks Cheryl,
I don't like how it fit & its kind of old-fashioned. I ordered one today that I found online last night, really cute (hope it looks that good on me)! I'm very self-conscious when wearing a bathing suit, so need to feel comfortable in it.

for your energy level... hope today is a delight to you.

[CherylB]

Ladies, what a living hell it was at the farm this afternoon and night! Sub-zero temps with the ferocious wind chills, sustained wind in the 20 mph range with gusts over 40 at times. It was enough to make you have to stop, put your back to the wind and try not to get knocked down.

The horses were turned back in at 2:30 and they were all wearing their heaviest winter sheets. So lots of rounds of mucking the stalls, and keep their little mouths busy. Had three eager helpers and they came through like an organized tornado and did all the paddocks and stuff. I never saw anything like it! Sunday afternoon is a very good time to work there.

I told them around 5pm that they could all go home if they wanted to, because they said they did all the paddocks and had even swept out the barn. It was far too early to do that, but I figured if they had already run out of things to do (they picked through the stalls as well), then I could just do the feeding and tucking in myself. They had said they topped off the waters and stuff so I had no reason not to believe them. But I still needed to top most of the waters back off.

It was brutal! I took advantage of them all being there and I spread a lot of the sand/salt mixture around on the sheets of ice that were deep mud pits just days ago. In case anyone has wondered how I feel about Connecticut, IT SUCKS!!! If not for my family being here, I would have NEVER returned to live.

I came back home only to find that my mailbox (which had been broken from the pole when the plow came by a few times a week ago with that huge blizzard) had been blown into the street. I looked around to see where it was and it was on the opposite side of the road, crushed! Someone ran the damn thing over. Destroyed.

So I told the landlady it was wrecked but then I had to confess that I should have told her about it when I found that it had been "loosened" by the plow during the blizzard. I told her I'd pay for the new one and asked her if she wanted one that looked like the one that got wasted. Silence from her right now. I imagine she's pissed off at me right now. Sucks to be me.

I finished my work at the farm at exactly 7 pm but it was another hour before I managed to get out of there. That equine manager can TALK. I kept trying to slide my way out the door and I kept giving up. I just went and sat down and then I'd get back up and try to exit again but she never took the hint. Finally I said to her, "Please let me go." She said, "I didn't realize I was keeping you!" It was a good talk but I was hungry, cold and tired. Bad combo.

[CherylB]

Oops. Didn't mean to post that yet. I copied and pasted what I just wrote on the horse lover's thread but I was going to talk to y'all before I got to the c/p part. Oh well! Glitch-city.

Hi, Maggie! I hope P2 is kind to you. I'm glad you came out of lurkdom to say hello. Feel free to use the daily note thing in your own siggy.

Debby, glad you found a suit that you liked enough to order. Hope you love it on your body. Thanks for the prayers for today. They worked! But they had no effect on the weather. Read above post. ^^^^

[DebbyL]

Ah, a hard day of winter! And a good work day! Congrats on tackling & working your way through it!

Yea, I hope the bathing suit looks good too. Its from the states, so it will be a hassle to return. It might actually come before we do the swimming thing with the kiddos. That will be cool.

I'm back to my normal diet, except I dropped the prunes today. See how it goes.

DH is just getting better now, after sleeping the whole week-end & missing church today. Just in time to go back to work.

Have a good rest!

[tay65]

hi cheryl, Glad your help at the farm was good. Its super cold here too. I'm thankful to have been able to stay indoors and play with Chloe.
Internet in the morning & no more using my thumbs to type on my phone! He'll be here at 8 am for installation.
Vlcd1 tomorrow for me. Your 1st day seemed to have gone well. Yayyyy!!!! Here we go! And together!!!

[CherylB]

That will be great, if your swim suit arrives in time! I hope you love it. Glad hubby's feeling better.

Tammy, here we go! I hope we do great this round. I envy you your indoor comfy day with Chloe. I am feeling ragged right now. My little part time job is feeling like so much more these days. I found out I'll be working my usual Monday and Wednesday, but then also Friday and Sunday again. It's good for the "bottom line" (bank account, not really talking about my bottom) but I'm sick of having to be out in this crazy weather right now.

My new pellets arrived. They must have come yesterday but I didn't check the mail, thinking they wouldn't be coming until later in the week. The mailbox was on the ground and the wind had whipped things around. The package of pellets was actually in my driveway! It's a miracle they didn't get run over and crushed. That would have been a $35 blunder.

So taking my first dose of the new pellets tonight. It is a brown bottle where as all my others were in a blue bottle. These pellets look so much larger than the Vox ones. I hope they work! I hope they dissolve quickly and keep hunger at bay. If not, I'll be going back to my old Vox pellets and seeing how things go.

Night, ladies. Tammy, can't wait until your stupid internet is finally up and running. Be sure and email me. I hate texting.

[shelby'snana]

Cheryl hope you feel better tomorrow (hugs) Wow, this new job is HARD on you !! That's such a physical job !

Good luck with the new pellets !

I've been bad too....... stress gets to me in the worst way ;/. Really awful Dr 3 days this week and several bad headaches were all it took to set me off on a carb fest !

[tay65]

I'm up early....got a text from my son. Now I'm in tears and praying for him. Not gonna go into details on here, but damn! Hurts my heart.
Wow! Your pellets were in the driveway! Mine are in a brown bottle too. And are all different sizes.
Well I'm gonna try to get a little sleep until I have to get up for the internet man. Yayyyy!!!!

[pendragginp]

(((Tammy))) Prayer for your dear son.