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Old 12-04-2012, 11:31 AM   #1411
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Isn't it amazing? I forgot to say that I also take vitamins but I don't take them daily. I used to think that if I took them too late in the day that they kept me awake at night, but last night I took one at bedtime. As long as I don't take them on an empty stomach, I can take them any time of day now.
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Old 12-06-2012, 07:26 AM   #1412
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WTG!! You seem to have found what works for you!! You're not hungry, you're losing and you're saving money? WOW!! Yay!! Merry Christmas to you!! The present? A healthy, happy you!!
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Old 12-06-2012, 09:32 AM   #1413
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YEA is right! You're so cute, Julie.

I didn't weigh today cause I ate too much yesterday. I'll weigh again tomorrow and see where I'm at.

Believe it or not, I got an AVG threat notice yesterday that I had a Trojan virus and it wanted to quarantine it into the vault (or something like that.) I was on a horse forum looking at contest pictures at the time. So I said to quarantine it but now the computer is acting up. I can't believe this is happening to me again. The last laptop I had got the same virus.

I don't open or send those old "forwards" that people tend to pass around via email. I don't open emails from people I don't know. Where am I getting these darn things? It's nearly impossible to get rid of them once they show up.

It's sunny here but cold. I have a birthday party this Saturday after the farm and it's going to be raining and I can just imagine the mud. How am I going to turn around and go to a party right afterward? I really don't want to go. The girl is one of the staff people and she's turning 21 today. If it is a muddy nightmare that day, I'll just give the card to someone to take for me.

I feel like I'm rambling so I'll end now. Have a wonderful day today, people! I will eat less and see if I can drop a bit more tomorrow.
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Old 12-06-2012, 01:00 PM   #1414
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Holy smokes, Cheryl. You are losing weight like crazy. Good for you!
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Old 12-06-2012, 08:39 PM   #1415
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WTG!! You seem to have found what works for you!! You're not hungry, you're losing and you're saving money? WOW!! Yay!! Merry Christmas to you!! The present? A healthy, happy you!!
That's so true Julie! I was thinking the same thing today, about the new me... I was skiing up the driveway, in 23 degree coldness, beautiful day, but cold... totally enjoying both the exercise & being outside! Who knew?! Food & gluttony never paid dividends like these!
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YEA is right! You're so cute, Julie.
Believe it or not, I got an AVG threat notice yesterday that I had a Trojan virus and it wanted to quarantine it into the vault (or something like that.) I was on a horse forum looking at contest pictures at the time. So I said to quarantine it but now the computer is acting up. I can't believe this is happening to me again. The last laptop I had got the same virus. Where am I getting these darn things? It's nearly impossible to get rid of them once they show up.
Oh Cheryl... that's too bad! My dh picked up one of those on ebay, it was in a picture. I'd say its probably a picture on your horse forum. They probably don't have the proper securities there. When that happened to him I just did the factory re-install. A lot of work getting everything set up properly again, but a cheap alternative to taking in... Hope you get it up & fixed soon.
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Old 12-06-2012, 09:07 PM   #1416
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I ran the AVG scan on the computer and it says there's nothing, but I know when AVG quarantines a virus, it's still "there." It makes me nervous. I shut the computer down and restarted and all that jazz and right now it's acting the way it should. I hope I don't have to reinstall the OS because I don't want to lose all my stuff and I'm afraid to back up things for fear that the virus is lurking in there somewhere. Ya know? I know very little about this stuff (clearly.)

Skiing up the driveway! You're making me wish it was snowy here. It's cold enough to be! It's almost under 20 already and it's only midnight. Brrr! Can't imagine what the temp is where you live, Debby.

Nighty night, ladies! I'm going to bed now. Thank you Lord for all the things you have given to me. I am truly blessed.
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Old 12-11-2012, 07:51 AM   #1417
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Hey there!! How're you doing? Hope you're well and losing like a crazy lady!

Deb-good for you out in the cold and snow being active and healthy!! WTG!! New you!!

I'm still sick, week of sinus infection! Can't wait until it's gone. My voice is gone too (I seem to be the only one who's sad about htat!!) I'm supposed to sing in church Sunday! Hope it's back soon!

Keep plugging away ladies .
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Old 12-11-2012, 08:25 PM   #1418
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I'm so sorry to hear that, Julie. I wrote to you on your journal but I'll say it again. I hope you can sing come Sunday. Try not to talk until then. Know any sign language?

I had a pretty decent day today. Nothing to complain about and I'm about to hit the hay for the night. I hope we all have a lovely sleep and are safe and protected as we slumber.
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Old 12-13-2012, 10:30 AM   #1419
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Feeling better. Being introspective and getting some insight. I needed that far more than weight loss! Things are looking up, ladies. Just wanted to share that with you. I haven't weighed in a while but I know I'm back up above 200 again. I'm not consciously dieting right now but somehow I'm naturally eating less. And on those bagels I eat, I'm eating hummus. (sp?) I know my Mother loves it and I had never tried it before. I bought a big tub of garlic hummus and it was hard to swallow (pun intended.) But now I've crossed the threshold that it took to learn to like it and I'm able to enjoy it. It's not something I'll ever want to binge on but it's good for me.

Nice and sunny here today. That always helps the spirit. It also helps the mud to dry up. It's been horrendous at the farm (mud wise) and there is even a large sink hole in the paddock behind the barn as of yesterday. I haven't seen it but now we can't put any horses out there. I'm ready for some nice cleansing snow.

I hope you are all well these days. I need to send out my Christmas cards before it's too late to bother. I'll make my list and just send them to the "essentials." I'm using the stamps that I bought last December! That's how few things I mail. I think I have about 10 left.

Yesterday was 2/3 over before I realized it was 12/12/12. How out of touch am I?? I watched a little bit of the concert last night for the victims of Sandy and saw The Who. It was truly disturbing. They are like living fossils. I hate to see them so old and the singer (don't even remember his name) must have been wearing a full wig. I shuddered to think what he looked like when he took it off. And his voice was totally GONE. So sad. Makes me feel really OLD too.

The passage of time is really something, isn't it? What drives us ever forward and never backward? Such a mystery. Makes me think of the Benjamin Button movie. Sounds like a good plan (to start out elderly and grow young.)

Hoping all of you are feeling well and being blessed.
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Old 12-14-2012, 11:30 AM   #1420
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Laptop in for repair. First post from new android phone. Not loving this at all. Will be MIA until laptop repaired or replaced. Please pray for inexpensive outcome. Tbanks, friends.
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Old 12-14-2012, 11:35 AM   #1421
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Hope you are doing well Cheryl. How is the antibuse working for you? Sorry about the laptop problems
Hope you have a wonderful holiday!! Think of you often and wish you the best
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Old 12-14-2012, 08:14 PM   #1422
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Laptop in for repair. First post from new android phone. Not loving this at all. Will be MIA until laptop repaired or replaced. Please pray for inexpensive outcome. Tbanks, friends.
Hope its something simple & fast!
Good time to learn the android though!
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Old 12-14-2012, 09:48 PM   #1423
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Hi, ladies. I'm on the old laptop that is hanging on by a thread but I'm happy to have it to fall back on. I will know in a few days if the other laptop is worth fixing or if all the money I have left from selling my jewelry will go toward a new computer. I might have to just suck it up and live with just the desk top. It will make me spend lots more time off line but what can ya do?

You must have heard the grizzly news of the shootings in Newtown CT today at a grammar school. 20 children dead and I don't know how many adults. Beyond comprehension. I don't even know how to pray for something like this, except to ask that the clock be turned back and the maniac be stopped. Before he went on his killing spree, he shot his mother point blank in the face and then he headed on his deadly way. The coward then took his own life.

I went to the Christmas party at the therapeutic riding stable this evening. It was overshadowed by the tragedy with the children. Prayers were said for all of those affected. In fact, it was the first time we ever prayed for others and it was very touching. At one point we all stood around a large table and held hands while a prayer was said. I was moved.

I am so incredibly uncomfortable in social settings. I noted my tension to be a 7 or an 8 out 10 the entire time I was there. It went down to a 6 on the way home but it wasn't until I was home and getting into my PJ's that I could say it was down to a 4. I can't drink (still on the Antabuse) so I went immediately to the store and bought junk food. If I wasn't on that pill, I would have gone for the booze as my first drug of choice.

So that answers your question, Cathy! One month of taking the drug and no drinking. I was tempted to test it one day but decided that was just nuts. I know it's the real deal and I really don't want to feel that sick. Tonight I was just so amped up that I was so thrilled to come back home where I could feel secure.

I always knew I had social anxiety but I think it's even worse than that. There is a disorder known as Avoidance Personality Disorder and I have many of the symptoms of that disease. That along with Learned Helplessness Disorder just about sums me up quite well. I am a mess!

But it really was a nice gathering tonight. The people there are all such good folks and so appreciative of the volunteers. The horses got LOADS of carrots and apples and I'm wondering how they will manage to preserve them and make them last and not spoil. They generally don't get heaps of those goodies on a daily basis. I gave them a gift card to the store so they could buy things as they needed them, and I also brought a head of lettuce for the bunnies. They were happy to see something green in their cages tonight.

It's almost 1 am so I need to get some shut-eye. I'm happy to be able to type on a computer tonight. I really do hate the android. I don't like the touch screen and not having a real keyboard. At least with the old blackberry, I could type with my two thumbs. Oh well.

Sweet dreams, y'all. Thanks for thinking of me. Hope everything is well with you's.

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Old 12-14-2012, 10:07 PM   #1424
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Good for you, having an alternative laptop.
Yes, so sad what happened at that school. It's pretty scarey this kind of thing happening.

Sorry you felt so stressed by the crowd. Sounds like you enjoyed it in spite of the stress level though. Have you ever taken St. John's Wort, or any homeopathic things for nerves? The St. Johns helps me. Stress is so bad on my adrenals, and it helps a lot, if something bothers me. Very gentle & non habit-forming.

I'm heading to be too... 10 pm.
G'nite!
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Old 12-15-2012, 07:31 AM   #1425
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Cheryl, sorry for the social anxiety. It was horrible what happened up there in CT... totally thought of you when I read about it...

Good job on the Antabuse still, that has to make you feel good at least to have accomplished a month now without alcohol.. Its definitely a great start!
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Old 12-15-2012, 10:30 AM   #1426
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Good for you, having an alternative laptop.
Yes, so sad what happened at that school. It's pretty scarey this kind of thing happening.

Sorry you felt so stressed by the crowd. Sounds like you enjoyed it in spite of the stress level though. Have you ever taken St. John's Wort, or any homeopathic things for nerves? The St. Johns helps me. Stress is so bad on my adrenals, and it helps a lot, if something bothers me. Very gentle & non habit-forming.

I'm heading to be too... 10 pm.
G'nite!
I can't take that because it can't be combined with lexapro. The problem with any over the counter stuff is that it's not covered on my prescription plan and therefore expensive to me. I wish they would order me something like Ativan for social settings. I'm going to ask my Dr about that next week. Now that I'm off the booze, I don't see why he wouldn't go for that. It's hard to agree to go to a place where you know you are going to be coming out of your skin the entire time.

I read a headline on the home page of yahoo (my email provider) that said something about "they found the reason why the gunman went nuts" (or words to that effect.) But they won't elaborate right now. In fact, they won't say more than that so why did they even throw that out there for us to wonder about? It's terrible. But I did see a pic of the guy who did the shooting and I can see that he was probably bullied his entire short life. I don't care. Nothing can excuse him from killing all those people.

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Cheryl, sorry for the social anxiety. It was horrible what happened up there in CT... totally thought of you when I read about it...

Good job on the Antabuse still, that has to make you feel good at least to have accomplished a month now without alcohol.. Its definitely a great start!
It's strange, Cathy. My sister says I should be proud of the "accomplishment" too (no drinking.) But the only thing I can be proud of is putting the pill in my pill dispenser once a week and swallowing it down every night in the group of pills I take every day at bedtime. Doesn't feel like much of a feat. And truthfully, I am taking it because I simply can't afford to spend money on booze. I shouldn't drink for multiple reasons but right now, that is the reason I'm taking the drug. I can't afford (literally) to be impulsive and "cave in" to drinking when I feel the need to chill out. Like last night!

I would have run to the liquor store after the party instead of the grocery store for junk food if I could have. The junk food simply doesn't give me the same soothing affect. :/

Anyway, thank you ladies for being so supportive. I appreciate it and wish I could be more positive and not be shooting down your suggestions. I feel like a duck hunter! ("Pull!") (Hope that makes sense.)

Got the farm in a couple of hours. Sunny outside so I'm glad for that. Off to do something else. Slept late again today and it's now time for my first cup of coffee (at 1:30 pm.)

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Old 12-15-2012, 11:18 AM   #1427
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Good to hear from you! Hope the laptop works our cheaply. Enjoy the sunshine and horse time

I'm glad you're taking the pill too. Whatever the real reason, it's a great thing youre not drinking. Give yourself some time and grace. You're a work in progress like the rest of us .
The social anxiety must make life so much harder. I'm sorry you have to deal w/ that .

Have a great weekend!
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Old 12-15-2012, 05:23 PM   #1428
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Indeed, Julie. It puts me in a box or a corner. And makes me happy to be in it! It severely limits my ability to live in the world. Maybe being sober is what's making it so obvious to me, but it seems so much worse than it used to be (being socially challenged.) Now it feels more like being socially paralyzed. Before I would just have a little drink before I went to the gathering and likely have another one or two when I got there. It lubricated and numbed me. It made it easier to fit in.

I had decided against returning to therapy a few weeks or months ago. I did an intake appointment and when the psychiatrist insisted that I attend group therapy, I said no thanks. But now I have no choice in the matter. I called the other day and said I would go to group but I haven't heard back from them yet. Maybe because of the holidays. But the most important thing to me is that I am on the very best "cocktail" of meds for my symptoms. I can't live like this.

I did nothing but grooming today. I groomed five very caked, muddy horses. Where the mud had time to dry, it was nasty but manageable. Where it was still wet, it was pointless. I did my very best and then swept out both sides of the barn, which was like a sand box! Lord, please send snow and send it soon.

I had a small salad for dinner and it was disappointing because it tasted bitter to me. I bought this nice, organic spring mix of greens in a very nice container and it should have been much more enjoyable than it was. Oh well. :/

No word yet on the laptop and its condition. I'm so thankful to still have the old one to tide me over for now, but you should see what I have to do in order to make it work. I have a wall sconce strapped to it with a bungee cord to keep it open and steady cause the hinges on both sides are completely gone. I'm just happy I came up with that system! I've tried many times in the past to figure something out and came up with much less effective ideas.

I'm really tempted to go soak in the tub with some lovely bath gel. I'm so cold. Ever just get so cold inside that you can't seem to warm up? I need to go soak. I think it would fix me right up.

Goodnight, ladies. Many hugs coming your way.
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Old 12-20-2012, 08:52 AM   #1429
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How are you today, Cheryl? I too thought of you when I heard about the Sandy Hook atrocity.
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Old 12-20-2012, 04:30 PM   #1430
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hey, plum. thanks for thinking of me. i'm going thru the holiday motions but like so many others, the christmas cheer will be hard to locate here. i was over at my sister's house today. newtown is close to her area. as i was driving home after dark, i was looking at all the holiday decorations. everything is so beautiful but something just feels so amiss. i think we're all a little numb and somber. we just wish we could turn back time.

so, how are you? tell me something good!
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Old 12-21-2012, 07:44 AM   #1431
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Well, we had that storm here yesterday; luckily the whole UP was about shut down so I didn't have to try to get to work. Had the fireplace on and watched the winds and snow blow. The weather outside was frightful, but the fire was so delightful....

We're heading to the lower peninsula tomorrow for Christmas at my one daughter's. Everything should be pretty well cleared up by then, though I really don't much care for crossing the Mackinac Bridge in crazy weather. Scared of heights, me!

How are you doing today? Is your laptop back yet? Are you going to your family for Christmas? I don't like you sitting there by yourself with the sorrow CT is weighed down by right now. I think we should all huddle together for comfort if something bad happens anyway, and then especially for extra 'comfort and joy' at this time of year. Even if we don't feel like it, our presence might could boost someone else.

GOOD GOOD going on sticking with the Antabuse! ESPECIALLY under the pressure lately! Sometimes the reason we're doing something isn't as important as the fact that we do it. Praying for you!

Stay with us here. Don't go submerging. Keep sticking a hand out that we can take. (((Cheryl)))

Back later!
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Old 12-21-2012, 02:46 PM   #1432
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I LOVE your post, Plum. So much good stuff in there! (I put that in bold so if I want to find it again in the future, it might stand out to me as I'm scanning. Yeah; it's that good.)

Isn't it wonderful when it's wicked outside and you don't have to go anywhere and you have everything you need inside? That's when you really feel blessed. I almost wish we had gotten some of that snow. We got rain and periods of sleet and the pond behind our property is overflowing to the max. I can actually see what's coming over the dam now, since it's winter and all the trees and bushes have been defoliated. (Is that a word?) I tried to take a picture and a video but it doesn't come out well due to the distance, but it's like having a mini Niagara Falls in your back yard! Now I completely see why it floods here. I thought we had waterfront property to the pond, but we back up to the river that spills out from BELOW the pond.

The back yard has standing water but it's not serious yet. Cissy's been slogging around out there but she found some high ground to lay on and she spent hours outside, just enjoying the lack of rain. I love my girl! She's going to get groomed at 0800 tomorrow. Another blessing! I only called for an appointment this afternoon and she fit me right in. And she'll be ready to be picked back up before I need to go to the farm.

In other news, the laptop has died. It will cost $350 to get the problem repaired (on top of the $75 it already cost me for the diagnostics) so it's still waiting for me to go get it at Staples. I keep forgetting but I'll snag it tomorrow. I sold most of my jewelry a few weeks back (I wrote about that) and I had $500 stashed away for a rainy day. Well, it rained sooner than later. The laptop I bought (less than an hour ago online) plus the extended warranty (never buy those except on things that give me a headache normally) came to $578 (with tax, free shipping.) I'll get it around the new year or a bit after.

It's so strange because my very first computer was a laptop that I received exactly 12 years ago this month (maybe it came in January; can't recall.) I was in CT then, too. I was heading back to FL to do a travel assignment but for whatever reason, the laptop company wouldn't ship to FL (something with the warranty.) No clue what that was all about, but I got it delivered to me while I was staying at my sister's in Woodbury. Seems so long ago.

Antabuse is a gift from God. It can be used "creatively". When taken, you can't consume alcohol for at least a week. I took it religiously for the first month but saw that my depression and neuroses were worsening. I mean BIG TIME. I googled if that could be attributed to the Antabuse and it can. So I decided to take a closer look into what I could do with Antabuse and I came up with a very clever plan. (Which I debated about sharing with you, since you said WTG on using it.)

I took it daily for a little over a month. I thought at first I had no side effects, but over a few weeks time, I got terribly "burdened" and full of anxiety. I attributed it to the social things I had to face. But I realized in hindsight that it was extreme, even for me. It was exacerbated and I had to consider it was the Antabuse. So I decided to cut it back. Here's how I'm doing it.

I stopped taking it last Saturday. I started feeling lighter after talking to my sister and agreeing to come and help her yesterday. That could have been a combination of me going to help my sister who was equally down in spirit or it could have been being off the Antabuse for three days. At any rate, I became more like my usual self. I saw that I had something to offer my sister and her friend who is grieving the loss of her sister who died last week (a few days before the atrocity in Newtown.)

Today I'm nearly jovial! I feel like I am getting back to normal. But here's the thing. I don't have to give up on Antabuse. Because it stays in your system for such a long time, I don't have to take it every single day. I can take it a couple times a week and still get the same affect. AND if I am really slick about it, I can "schedule in" a couple of days every month or two to enjoy a couple of beers or a small bottle of wine. It's genius!

I mainly started taking it because I could not afford the habit. I'm freaking broke. There is no money coming in and no job in sight. So that's why I asked the Dr for the drug. I didn't tell him that was the main motivation, but what did it matter when the end result was me stopping drinking. But what harm can it do if all Antabuse does for me is make me into a normal social drinker? It gives me that measure of control that I normally don't have. It's perfect!

So, I stopped taking it last Saturday. I had a beer (one) on Wednesday. I could tell it was really too soon to have had one. The reaction wasn't violent but it was noticeable, to say the least. The next day (Thursday) I had one more. Much less reaction. Still only had one. Today I'm having another and have almost no reaction whatsoever (well, I'm having a different kind of reaction which I didn't feel but just noticed in the mirror! A "rash" that I can't feel.). Tomorrow I will have another and then I'll do the 24 hours of no booze at all. Monday morning will be Christmas Eve and I will take an Antabuse with my morning pills, just so I don't change my mind during the day. I'll take another one Christmas night and then I can go a few days without, and so on. Since it stays in your system for so long, all it takes is one or two pills a week to keep you sober for a week at a time. Now that I know that the reactions are real and what they are like, I can act accordingly.

I can limit my drinking to once a month that way and keep it totally reasonable! That, to me is PRICELESS. I can limit the amount and also how much it will cost me. I don't know if you realize how invaluable this is to me, but it is simply amazing. That is why I'm sharing all this here with you. I really considered keeping it to myself but it's too good not to share.

As horrible as the attack in Newtown was, it affects us all so deeply that I can see and feel it everywhere I go. There is a common bond we all share. Strangers that pass each other going through doorways in and out of buildings, just people who encounter each other in passing. There is a look, a softness in the eyes, a tenderness that passes between us. It's all we can do in the face of such calamity. People really are at their best when things are at their worst. I wish it didn't come down to that, but at least we have that to embrace.

Speaking of calamity, looks like the Mayan Doomsday prediction didn't take. I know they said it was the end of a cycle and not the end of the world, but many thought it was the latter. If it's the beginning of a new cycle, dear Lord, please let it be a wonderful one! We could use a wonderful one. Need to post this monster before some glitch occurs. Here it is, world! I'm feeling great so I know I'm on the right path. Thank God for tools and the knowledge to use them.

Last edited by CherylB; 12-21-2012 at 03:17 PM..
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Old 12-21-2012, 02:47 PM   #1433
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PS: Plum, have a wonderful Christmas at your daughters! Stay safe. And to answer your question, yes! I will be spending a small, intimate Christmas with my sister, her husband, my mother, sister's daughter and her significant other. It will be wonderful. I love small, intimate gatherings. I just hope they haven't bought me a gift because they know I can't reciprocate and it makes me feel bad.

Last edited by CherylB; 12-21-2012 at 02:53 PM..
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Old 12-21-2012, 02:53 PM   #1434
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Just popping in to wish you a very Merry Christmas Cheryl
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Old 12-21-2012, 03:30 PM   #1435
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And the same to you, Terri! Please send my love to Dazy. I think about her from time to time. I hope all is well with her and her family.
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Old 12-23-2012, 08:24 AM   #1436
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Merry Christmas Cheryl!
I'm so happy for you, that you have things figured out & can feel better. Have a wonderful time with your sister!
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Old 12-23-2012, 11:29 AM   #1437
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Merry Christmas, my dear friends. (Now I'll read the latest posts you wrote.)
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Old 12-23-2012, 11:33 AM   #1438
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That didn't take long! Thank you, Debby. I wish you the same. A wonderful Christmas and New Year with the ones you love. We are supposed to get some snow, just in the nick of time! Woohooo! We had a lot of flurries yesterday while I was out driving around so that was nice. Set the mood.

I am watching a very cool program on The History Channel right now. It's about the "missing 40 days" of Jesus, from the time He rises from the dead and the time He assends into Heaven. It's really good so I'm going to focus my attention on it. BBL.
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Old 12-23-2012, 04:50 PM   #1439
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Hello Cheryl! Sorry I haven't been around. Just have had some depressing things to deal with. My mom had a scare. She had a lump in her breast and had to get it biopsied. Here its from the radiation she had when she had breast cancer. Now my dear grandma has pancreatic cancer. She has to have surgery and shes so weak from not being able to eat the last few weeks. The surgery is extensive and we just dont know if she'll survive it. She'll be 85 yrs old in March.
So, you see, I'm just not very happy these days.
Shawn is home til Jan 1st and suppose to be getting married this week. They have their marriage license. I drove to KY and back in 1 day......19 1/2 hrs! That includes the 3 1/2 hrs I had to wait in the parking lot for him to be released to go on leave! I was soooo exhausted when I finally layed down! I never got tired while driving though. My back felt like it was cracking in half though.
We got 4 in of snow here! Chloe loved it! At first she called it rain then when it stuck to the ground and she saw it on the road she called it snow!
Well, hope your Christmas is great! Will be back soon to "talk". Take care!
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Old 12-23-2012, 07:37 PM   #1440
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I'm so sorry to hear your news, Tammy. I have missed you but it's been so long since you were around that I just got used to life without you. I'm sorry this is the reason behind your absence. There's a whole lot of heartache going around. Makes it almost impossible to be "of good cheer." I will pray for both of them tonight. Your g-mom is only 4 years older than my mom. Someone must have gotten an early start.

OMG! That drive must have been a killer! I wouldn't have been able to do that without losing my mind. God must have been with you, big time. So the wedding is moving ahead, eh? I'm sorry about that too. I know you wished he would see the light. I guess we just have to forge ahead with what we see as the right thing to do and make our mistakes ourselves. If only we could take someone else's word for it and just say, "Yeah, you're probably right. I think I will do something else." Lord knows that was never MY style!

I think we've got some snow heading our way for Christmas. Might get here just in the nick (Saint Nick) of time. I have the horses tomorrow and then I'll be able to enjoy whatever comes after that. We got quite a bit of rain last week and I was able to see the pond behind our property through the trees. OMG! Talk about being a sitting duck!

Anyway, I'm going to go retrieve Cisco from outside and settle in for a good night's sleep. But I will pray for you and your family. Merry Christmas through it all. Trust that God is in this. He always is, even when we have serious doubts. Love you.
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