The Continuing Saga of CherylB's Weight Loss Journey (part 2)

[catjrow3]

Precious horses!! I love horses!! Dont freeze in the coming storm!!

[Sasseaux]

Super cute horsies and the goats, Cheryl. Glad you're having fun on the farm. My eyes are closing or I would write more. Have a great day.

[paulabob]

Love the pics!

[Cruzcrzy]

Beautiful pictures, Cheryl. Thanks so much for sharing. What a blessing you are to them, and they to you .

[Gremom]

Ooooh, girl I am so jealous of you spending all that time with those beautiful horses. Simply elegant creatures. So glad that you are really enjoying it. I am not jealous of the snow and cold!

[CherylB]

Thanks, ladies! Glad you came to check them out. It was such a great feeling to be doing more than just the regular routine. It gives me an idea of how things are going to get better and more involved over time.

I'm in need of a cup of coffee, then I have much to catch up on. See ya later! I promise to come back.

[tay65]

Love the pics!

[CherylB]

Thanks, Tammy. The pics actually suck really bad, but if you look past the quality and see the content, they are beautiful. I'm going to take my camera with me to the farm every day I go from now on. I'll wear it around my neck and just keep it under my sweater vest. Then if a good moment happens, I'll try to act quickly. (I need to shop for more sweater vests! That sucker is perfect for farm work.)

My soup came out good but it was missing something. I accidentally bought reduced sodium broth and so I thought I added more salt to compensate, but it was better with a little more. Also added more Cayenne pepper and that seemed to help. Now I'm good for the week.

It's so cold! I got shovelled-out from the storm tonight. It was the kind of snow you could sweep off your car and off of the steps but there was enough of it that I needed to break out the shovel to complete the job. Neither of my neighbors helped me with their snow blowers this time. They usually at least do the part along the road, where the plows leave the heavy stuff behind. It was light enough that it wasn't a problem, though.

I have my 10 year old great-nephew's birthday party tomorrow at 1pm. I still need to wrap his gifts and write out his card. I am usually the lazy auntie and give him money, which he's thrilled to get. But this time I bought him some things that he had on his "list for Santa." (I was surprised to learn from my sister that he still believes in Santa, the Tooth Fairy, etc.) So it will be cool to see his face when he gets three of the things that were on his list.

Yesterday at the farm was so great. I know I didn't tell much about it and then today I finally got around to writing about it in my computer journal (it's a Word Doc.) I can copy and paste it here, but it would be long and kind of drawn-out. Should I? You vote.

[paulabob]

Originally Posted by CherylB

Should I? You vote.

voting yes.

And mentioning a certain DS of mine who still believed last year (at 14). At least I think he did.

[CherylB]

Originally Posted by paulabob

voting yes.

And mentioning a certain DS of mine who still believed last year (at 14). At least I think he did.

I think it's kind of sad and cruel what society does to children. Making them think people and places and things exist only to tell them one day that they've been duped. And all those fairy tale romances, knights on white horses, happily ever after's. What a set-up!

Then one day, reality hits. And it never. goes. away.

Okay! So, I'll copy and paste my journal entry for today (horse journal.)

1/21/12~ I had an amazing farm day yesterday. It was in the mid 20’s but no wind and I had dressed for the cold. My feet were a little too snug in my boots and I was lame for the rest of the night. There were three of us for a change. Mike was back after being out sick post-op for a month. So Chelsea asked if we felt up to walking the horses in the field! I jumped at the chance. The horses were so unaccustomed to anything other than being taken straight from their paddock to their stall for dinner that when Daphne and Big Red were being lead past their barn, they put the brakes on! With encouragement and a little tugging, they moved on and seemed to get the idea of what was going to happen.

In the first round, Mike walked Big Red, I walked Daphne and Chelsea walked Frodo. We walked them on their leads (after we put their harnesses on) and took them up into an open field I’d never been in. (I now know where the tractor takes the manure.) The ground was frozen and very rutted, and there were large tufts of blonde grasses sticking up above the snow, but Daphne didn’t try to eat it. (We’ll get to Calvin shortly.)

Daphne was great! We walked in a line with Frodo in front, Big Red in the middle and Daphne at the end. I think somewhere along the way Daphne and I ended up in the middle. It was hard walking on that rutted frozen ground but I was just so INTO IT! It was a pretty large field and we went around the entire perimeter and then back to their individual stalls. We opened the gates, we went into the corral before them, then we had them turn around for the removal of the harness. It was so much fun!

I am still so out of shape. I was the only one huffing and puffing so I really need to start using my treadmill. I need to build up my stamina and my speed. If I were able to walk faster, I wouldn’t have to keep having the horses slow down. It’s not fair to them when they get so little exercise. I need to walk at their pace.

Calvin was next. I walked him, Chelsea walked Charmed and Mike walked Lola. I didn’t know it but Lola has a sore foot and she was way behind the pack all the way around. We’d stop to let them catch up and then go on, but the stops were never enough for me. Lola kept sneaking bites of grass. Calvin pulled that a few times, too. Calvin was harder to walk than Charmed! (Charmed is the most unstable horse they have.) Chelsea warned me ahead of time and said that if he became too much to handle, we could switch. Charmed (of all horses) is easier to walk on lead than Calvin! He gets a little jazzed and frisky and starts “feeling his oats.”

I stuck it out with Calvin because I didn’t want him to think that I couldn’t handle him. I chose Calvin because earlier, I had walked up to Calvin and Lola in their paddock but stood on the other side of the fencing (so I was in their corral.) Calvin did the weirdest thing! He turned his head way over to the right and craned his neck to get his nose as close to me as possible without taking a step closer. Then he made some kind of face and turned his head completely to the left at the same angle. He’d never done that before so I wanted to walk him and see if there was more to it than just a scent I was carrying.

That horse wants to MOVE! If I can lease one, I really think I want to lease Calvin. All the horses are great, but if he gets that jazzed when out in the open, then I want “in”! If I could have kept up with him, he’d have been leading the pack from the start.

We started with Chelsea and Charmed in front, me and Calvin in the middle and Mike and Lola in the rear. On the last leg of the trip, Calvin and I were in front. I had him turn around a couple of times in the field, just so I could stop and catch my breath for just a moment. He turned easily. But the rest of the time I was trying to snap his lead and slow him down (I learned to snap it rather than pull back on it, and that worked a lot better). Oddly, at the end of the trip, he walked much better and it felt more natural for me.

Then after everyone was in their own areas, we set about light brushing and hoof picking. Big Red and Daphne had to wait for their grain because there was concern that Red might be getting sick. They had observed that he hadn’t been drinking much or eating hay, so they said giving him grain could make his condition worse (if he had something going on.) Chelsea called Cathy to come and check him and she decided to give him about ½ his usual amount of grain and to add water.

He ate his grain and then went straight for his hay. I noticed before Cathy came that the water buckets, although full and plugged in, were not plugged into the wall socket. So the water was ice-cold. I had found it and plugged it in, but only just before we took them for their walks. Cathy had us dump out half of the cold water in Red's stall and fill the rest with water from the hot spicket (I sometimes forget we have one.) It made the water the perfect temperature!

It was nice to meet Mike finally. I had been wondering who he was because he was on the Friday schedule but it’s always just been me and Chelsea or Kelsey. Now it will be so much better! He’s a nice young man.

Otherwise, about yesterday’s equine care, they all were wearing their coats out in the paddock so we just brushed the areas that were exposed and picked their hooves. I cleaned out Red’s and Frodo’s paddock. Frodo was alone because Chelsea had already brought in Charmed so she could pick the snow out of his hooves. He wears special “boots.” Frodo came up to the wheelbarrow and was munching the hay I’d picked up. Nobody had ever done that before. They often come and sniff, but never have eaten. So I pushed the hay to one end of the WB so I could keep the manure at the other end. That seemed to suit him fine and he munched the hay right up until the time I left the paddock. If I moved, he moved with me.

It was a sunny day and the sunsets there are amazing. I’m so thrilled to be a part of this place and I’m going to commit to more days and more things as winter leaves us. I just don’t want to bite off more than I can chew while the weather is so unpredictable.

There it is! I took out a couple lines that had nothing to do with the farm but I interjected for my own benefit. Enjoy the read! Wish I was a better writer! (And photographer.)

[GailyGail]

Your photos are gorgeous, Cheryl! And you are making great progress on your eating plan, which is great.

[CherylB]

Thank you, Gail! I'm in the zone and it feels wonderful. Especially after having been so out of control for a few months.

In fact, I just got home from my nephew's birthday pizza party and I ate NOTHING there. I planned to scalp a slice or two but I couldn't care less about eating! I brought 2 large Dunkin Dunuts coffees with cream and used my own Ez Sweetz. I drank the coffees which lasted me for almost 3 full hours and then it was time to leave. I now need to heat myself a bowl of soup or something. I'm starting to feel a little hungry.

On the drive home, I drove past a place that had horses! I had never noticed them before (I rarely drive that way.) I had to turn around and stop. I got out and asked if it was okay (the people were outside at the time and the horses were right by the road.) They said it was fine. So I got my fix for the day! I met Dillon, Cheyenne and Cowboy. I'm addicted! I can't get enough of horses now.

Cowboy was a mini. The three of them were so wooly from wearing their winter coats. The horses at the therapy center are no where near as thick-coated. These guys must be outside with no coats on all the time. Brrr! I asked if it was okay to stop by again when I'm in the area and they said it was fine as long as someone was outside. They really aren't any closer to home than Shepard Meadows is, so I'd rather go where I'm needed. But Dillon was a sweety!

Dinner time now. Very proud of myself for not eating anything at the party. Thank God for coffee! Tomorrow I'm planning to do a fat fast. It will be my very first and then on Tuesday I will weigh-in. I hope I get a good number!

And for my Mother's sake, GO PATRIOTS!!!

[tay65]

yeahhhh, Patriots won....Booo!!! LOL I'm not a Ravens fan, but they are in the same division as we are so I wanted them to win.
You're def in the zone now. Fat fast? I have done one for the last couple days with good results. But this morning, no loss and TOM showed up uninvited. Lots of water retention going on.
Chloe was very cranky and hubby had her most of the day bc I was laying down. Cramp city! Chloe is getting another tooth in beside her 1st one. Not fun at all.
Have a good night!

[CherylB]

Hang in there, honey! I'll say a prayer for you to get some rest tonight. I hope you and Chloe feel better soon. (((HUGS)))

I'm sorry you had a disappointing loss tonight, football-wise. What a close game that was! If the Ravens had made that kick, would they have won or would the game have gone into overtime? I'm not a sports fan so forgive my naivete. My Mom was about to come out of her skin through the entire game. Too close for her! I am happy for her but feel bad for the Ravens. They really put up a fight. I wish I'd seen it from the beginning but I was at a party.

So, it's good to hear that your fat fasting went well. I keep trying to drag my fanny over to ****** so I can plan out my menu for tomorrow. I wasn't going to weigh until Tuesday but now I need to see where I was before and after the fat fast. Otherwise, how will I know if it's worth repeating? Right?

I'm off to calculate. Sleep tight. Prayer on the way.

[verbqueen]

Look at you go, Cheryl! Whoo hoo! How'd the weigh-in go, and how's the Fat Fast looking for you? I've never tried one.

[CherylB]

Oh, honey. Read daily note in siggy. It's not a good day and it's only gotten worse. I had a trying time with my mother on the phone tonight, trying to talk her through registering her new grocery store "rewards card." She's 80 but when it comes to certain things, it's not even worth the time to describe.

Fat fast is fine. I have no desire to eat the jalapeno poppers I had planned to eat so I'm going to come in around 600 cals for the day. It's supposed to be 1000 or so but I don't care. I have been struggling with the desire to drown the frustration with a small bottle of Chardonnay but I know that's not the right move. It will screw up my fat fast day and it will also "open that door" that can lead to a run-of-days of drinking.

I sat back and really allowed myself to feel the emotion and I realized that I needed a horse fix more than a drink! I am going to start doing more days at the farm. I get such a high from being with the animals. I don't care that it's winter and that I'm rolling the dice, committing to more time there while the weather can turn nasty. I DON'T CARE! I'm going for it.

I'm going to look at the schedule and see where they might need more people. Maybe I'll just start going on days when I'm not actually scheduled and just "be there." I can help or I can just soak it all in. I just know that I need more.

[Cruzcrzy]

Cheryl,

I can NOT have nuts in the house. I have no self control. I wish I did. I have told myself I will not bring them in the house again until I am very stable for MONTHS. I am not trying to lose anymore, just maintain. So far, so good with JUDDD. I update my stats daily.

My dh is about a week into hhcg and doing well. This is the first time in our married years(29 next month) that he has dieted. He is finally getting a *glimpse* into my life, lol.

I went thrift store shopping today. I spent 3 hours there! It is 99 cent day. I got two pair of pants, one shirt, 2 jackets, and one cardigan sweater...$6.40!! We are hoping my dh will be able to retire at the end of this year, or sooner, so I've commited to only clearance or thrift store shopping. I am not a shopper, so this is not difficult.

I think if the farm will let you drop in whenever you are available, that is the way to go.

Tammy, love your new AVI! I will be seeing my "boy" in March. He graduated college in August, and moved to SC. This will be our first trip there. We are just going Fri-Mon. I wish it were longer, but, until dh retires, this will have to do.

Cheryl, I am praying for you this evening. Sweet dreams!

[CherylB]

Originally Posted by Cruzcrzy

Cheryl,

I can NOT have nuts in the house. I have no self control. I wish I did. I have told myself I will not bring them in the house again until I am very stable for MONTHS. I am not trying to lose anymore, just maintain. So far, so good with JUDDD. I update my stats daily.

My dh is about a week into hhcg and doing well. This is the first time in our married years(29 next month) that he has dieted. He is finally getting a *glimpse* into my life, lol.

I went thrift store shopping today. I spent 3 hours there! It is 99 cent day. I got two pair of pants, one shirt, 2 jackets, and one cardigan sweater...$6.40!! We are hoping my dh will be able to retire at the end of this year, or sooner, so I've commited to only clearance or thrift store shopping. I am not a shopper, so this is not difficult.

I think if the farm will let you drop in whenever you are available, that is the way to go.

Tammy, love your new AVI! I will be seeing my "boy" in March. He graduated college in August, and moved to SC. This will be our first trip there. We are just going Fri-Mon. I wish it were longer, but, until dh retires, this will have to do. I

Cheryl, I am praying for you this evening. Sweet dreams!

You brought tears to my eyes. I opened my arms to the sky and told God "I Accept! Anything Marie is sending my way tonight, I accept!" I also sent back one for you, that the desires of your heart be fulfilled. You have no idea how I needed prayer tonight. Thank you, dear friend.

I love thrift store shopping! It's way more fun than retail. I don't know if any of our Good Will's or Salvation Army's offer special days like that, but I know SA offers way better prices on their items than GW and certain GW stores are cheaper than others. Also, GW has a certain color that they take 1/2 off each week. (The price tags have colors.) I rarely ever choose anything that is the right color. It might be planned that way.

A good shopping spree at a thrift store would fix me right up tonight, too. Too bad it's 8pm and I need to stop spending money. I need to just get into a zen place and allow your prayers to work.

That is so wonderful that you are in the 30's!!! I'm so envious but also so happy for you. My sister Donna (who was neck-and-neck with me last summer at the weight of 170 something) is now in the 130's, like you are. And here I am in the mid 170's. It's disheartening. But it is all my own doing.

Nuts are a definite trigger food for me. I'm glad I'm not alone! I hadn't even planned to buy nuts at Walmart the other night. I just was looking for grated cheese and found myself standing in front of all the nuts. Whoopie! Just when do you get to the age where "live and learn" no longer applies? When???? Please, God! Let there be a point where wisdom and experience actually count for something!

Yeah, I like the "just drop in" plan at the farm, but I almost want to be needed. If I just drop in, maybe there won't be enough for me to do. Then again, maybe I can do more things like walk the horses. I'll talk it over with the equine manager and see what she thinks. All I know is I finally have a passion for something and I want more.

WTG on your hubby dieting! First time ever? Well, at least he knows how it feels now. How does it feel to be more or less standing on the side-lines? You're still "dieting" though, aren't you? It never ends, does it? Welcome to your life.

That will be so wonderful to go to SC in March! The weather will be amazing that time of year. How is he doing out there? Catch me up!

Marie, thanks so much for posting here tonight. You made my day.

[Gremom]

Oh Cheryl! Big to you! You are a great daughter for helping your mama! And she may not say thank you, but God sees it and He is smiling on you this evening.

I think doing more horse time is a great idea, especially if you love it so much. And if it can keep your mind occupied on better things, you won't let it wander to the dark side. It is always nice to feel needed.

Well, remember when I said I was giving up coffee? I did it and so far, so good. But I do miss it. But no more headaches since I stopped. For whatever reason, it didn't agree with me. Boo, because I really like it. I have found a vanilla chai tea that I enjoy with some vanilla stevia and coconut milk. Pretty close, but not coffee.

EFGT is working for me. I have lost 5.5lbs since Wed and I am so close to the 130s. I know losses will slow soon, but I am just rolling with it. I really hope to see 130 something by next Sunday. That is 2lbs this week and I think I can do it.

Hope you get some good sleep tonight, Cheryl. Just remember that you are His beloved!

[verbqueen]

Nuts are a terrible trigger for me, too!! Especially peanuts. I need to just never, ever have them in my home again. And peanut butter? It's like a drug to me!

I do ok with almonds or pecans. I don't much like walnuts--there's a bitterness to their skin that I don't like.

[CherylB]

Thank you, Stacey. I'm so glad that you've kicked the coffee habit and are done with headaches. And also that EFGT is working so well for you!

I just checked in here for one last minute before bedtime. I will be back tomorrow. God bless each of you tonight, in just the ways you need to be blessed. Amen.

[paulabob]

I missed the party here last night, but so glad you got such awesome support, and hope you get to spend more time with the horses!

[CherylB]

Yep, horsey day has come again! It's going to be mild and it's totally sunny out! It looks like an early Spring day around here.

I did my fat fast yesterday and it only netted me 1.6 lbs. I know my problem has been the nuts so I will just keep doing Atkins and stay the heck away from trigger foods.

Have an awesome day, girls! I'll check back in later.

[Gremom]

Hope you have a great day with your horses. It is supposed to be in the 60s here!

Glad to see that scale went back down for you. And glad that you are sticking with your atkins plan. EFGT is going well for me and thankfully I am controlling myself with the nuts. I measure out my 28 grams and that is all I have. I have the cashew/mac/almond mix and it is just the snack I need. BUT, I know I could get out of control really quickly, so I put them out of sight right after I measure them out.

Planning a good workout today and have lots of laundry to fold.

Can't wait to hear about your day!

[CherylB]

My sleeping meds are what get in the way of my self control. So, I am just better-off not having them in the house.

I'm excited about today! It's supposed to be around 50 degrees here and it's so sunny! I will prepare for much mud and bring my camera. I will wear it around my neck and just keep it zipped up inside my sweater vest. Hopefully I can get a couple of good shots!

Have a great workout today!

[tay65]

hi cheryl, how was your day? Nice loss, btw! I stayed the same today. I'm not fat fasting anymore. But I think I'm keeping yogurt in my diet. I missed it alot! I'm in a dilemma. I'm outta food and money for my "diet"! I have to think of something.
Hope your day was nice!

[CherylB]

Oh, no! What will you do for food to stay on-plan? Can you rob the piggy bank? I have done some rolling of coins recently myself. It sucks when you are really scraping the bottom of the barrel.

My day was fine. I went to the farm early, thinking if we got the chores done early we'd have time to walk the horses again like we did last Friday. The horses got walked but not by me. Two higher-ups were there today and they and the paid girl took the horses for their walks. I was offended because I had told the girl when she got there (after I'd already done a good portion of the work) that I had come so early just in hopes of walking them. I was left holding the rake and things like that seem so unjust that it hurts me.

Then I found out that the girl who routinely shows up late and does only what she wants to do was asked by the equine care manager if she wanted to walk one of the horses today. That's just so not right.

So I pulled said manager aside later and asked her about "strange vibes" I was getting and wanted to be sure that I wasn't doing anything wrong. I know a lot more of what I can and can't do now, but something inside of me is kind of deadened now. I feel "less than." That's my nature, I guess.

Enough about that. It was a nice day but colder on the hill than I expected. Ended up having to put my coat and hat on. Very sunny, incredibly muddy and groomed two of the horses. Got my bunny, cat, horse and German Shepard-fix and took some pics with a real camera. I'll post a couple soon. (Turns out your not supposed to take pics without permission, either.)

Accreditation is underway so everyone is crossing their T's and dotting their I's. That is part of what I'm feeling when I'm there. I will adjust and just go during my scheduled time. I won't knock myself out, trying to do a perfect job. I won't be trying to "win friends and influence people." (The hell I won't. That's just who I am.)

[paulabob]

Cheryl, love your new avi btw!

Sorry you didn't get to walk any of those sweeties!

[CherylB]

I uploaded the pictures from my camera and without being given a choice, they all loaded to Adobe Elements (aka Photoshop.) I can't figure out how to send them to "my pictures" where I can share them. When I figure it out, I'll post a pic. But please don't hold your breath. You will die.

[CherylB]

Thanks, Paula. Yeah, it was a bummer. But like I said before, every day is different there. Today was different in a disappointing way, but I also learned a lot. It's all good.