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Old 01-09-2012, 12:12 PM   #31
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Hi all

Jean tomorrow's the day Am I right=Good Luck I too need encouragement welcome and you can do it Maddy
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Old 01-09-2012, 01:00 PM   #32
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Jean tomorrow's the day Am I right=Good Luck I too need encouragement welcome and you can do it Maddy
Hiya maddy,

yes tomorrow is my day!! I'm scared and excited all at the same time!!! I just don't want to let myself down anymore.
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Old 01-09-2012, 01:26 PM   #33
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So excited for ya hon! You've lots to look forward to on your journey, I know you can do this! ♥
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Old 01-09-2012, 05:29 PM   #34
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There is no trying only doing, and you can do it!!!!!
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Old 01-10-2012, 07:39 AM   #35
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Hi Jean!

...aaaaaand AWAY WE GO! Hurray!

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Old 01-10-2012, 07:53 AM   #36
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Finally here!!!!!

So my day is finally here!!! I can't even tell ya how excited I am about my new life. The hardest part of this new journey I think will be the moving portion. But I know I need to move my ass. I decided to work really hard at getting into ketosis plus because I have flip flopped and gone back and forth so many times I really need to shock my system to let it know I mean business.

So for the first week I will probably end up doing no more than 10-15 carbs. It is going to be a hard haul because I love doing the vegetables but for right now Me and Mr. Protein gotta thing going on.

So here is to the first day of my life. That's it!! CARBS ARE NOT MY FRIEND!!! I have to look at it as me being allergic. Like some people are allergic to like dairy products or nuts.

I am officially allergic to carbohydrates. It has done nothing but bring me misery, depression, loss of activity, loss of life. I don't do things anymore because it is to difficult and I am afraid of the pain. What kind of life is that?

It is time for me to stop being negative and feeling sorry for myself. No more!!! I am so excited about seeing the old me. I know she is in there somewhere!!!

Last edited by need2behealthy; 01-10-2012 at 07:54 AM..
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Old 01-10-2012, 08:00 AM   #37
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Yes! Great post, Jean! There is so much great food you can be eating-- don't forget to eat lots and lots of fat with your protein! Fat is imperitive!
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Old 01-10-2012, 09:09 AM   #38
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I am officially allergic to carbohydrates. It has done nothing but bring me misery, depression, loss of activity, loss of life. I don't do things anymore because it is to difficult and I am afraid of the pain. What kind of life is that?

It is time for me to stop being negative and feeling sorry for myself. No more!!! I am so excited about seeing the old me. I know she is in there somewhere!!!

Jean

I love it, you got the right frame of mind, you are going to do this!! Vegetables are OK, and you need them to not get backed up, so eat them in moderation but dont skip them!!! You can eat lots of delicious and satisfying food, start a journal if you have not already for recipes, whatever you see that looks good to try, variety is key!

It honestly is not hard to follow, and once you get all that sugar out of your system, you wont even miss it!

Cheering for ya!!!!
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Old 01-10-2012, 09:23 AM   #39
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Jean, have you looked through my photo thread? I take pics of all my meals. The link is right here in my siggie-- maybe you can get a few good ideas for low carb meals? They are not always fabulous, but they are always filling and delicious!
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Old 01-10-2012, 10:14 AM   #40
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Amber-Thanks again for the words of encouragement. I'm just so over it at this point, I am really getting angry with the fat!!! Hey didn't want of our infamous posters mention that? ;o) I believe it was Ang. lol!!!

Ang - I used to love taking pics of my food and I definitely plan on doing that again. I will check out your photos as well. Since the year started I have been going back through the food porn thread, which is amazing, I couldn't sleep last night or should I say this morning, so I got through quite a few pages. I started with Food Porn #1 and I'm working my way through.

Making that grocery list. Hmmmm maybe I should post it!!!
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Old 01-10-2012, 10:16 AM   #41
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Old 01-10-2012, 10:24 AM   #42
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Ok so Ang how are we going to do this? I'm loving your photos but I need recipes. lol!!!! Help Badger sister out!!! lol!!
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Old 01-10-2012, 10:31 AM   #43
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recipes?? I don't use any recipes!! LOL-- if I do use one I post where I found it-- LCF doesn't allow linking, so you will have to use google to find it. Most of my food is just meat from the freezer and veggies from the fridge thrown together with garlic, easy! Not a whole lotta recipe going on there!
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Old 01-11-2012, 07:24 AM   #44
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Day 1 down and Day 2 here I come

Well Day 1 went pretty doggone on well. I went to 4 different grocery stores yesterday, I was in so much pain when I got home last night I was in tears. I was crying asking my husband how am I supposed to exercise knowing this is what I have to look forward to? The pain was unbelievably excruciating in my feet and legs. My doctor says that I need to move them. But I truly believe there is something wrong here. I just feel that I should not be in this much pain. Well, it doesn't matter because I have to move, I don't care if it is just to the corner and back I have to move. Maybe I can go back to looking up videos of low impact aerobics and working my way up. At least it is something I would enjoy. Still working on the exercise plan.

The food plan however is all worked out. I went ahead and bought vegetables yesterday. Tons of vegetables.

Collard Greens
Cucumbers
Pasilla chiles
Mushrooms
2 kinds of lettuce (Butter and red leaf)
Squash
Beautiful Bell Peppers (red, orange, and yellow)
Regular Cabbage
Baby Bok Choy
and last but not least Asparagus

The list of meat I purchased is way to long, I can pretty much say it was,
lots and lots of chicken and fish but also a little pork.

In addition I purchased coconut oil which I am super excited to try.

My day yesterday went pretty well, I did not however get in as much water as I plan to every day. I Didn't have any to drink but I purchased ton of water last night so going forward that should not be an issue. I have decided that I will not be allowed to drink anything like crystal light or sugar free soda until I get in at least 100 ozs of water in each day. That will be my incentive.

Day 2 here I am let's hope it goes as well as Day 1.
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Old 01-11-2012, 08:29 AM   #45
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Jean you have a good plan going there!!!! Good idea do not drink anything else til you have water in you!!! I know you are in pain, but the more you move-the easier it will become, one advantage of being heavy you have a lot of muscle under there, that is why my legs are so strong now, hell I carried all that weight around!!! Once you use them, they will work with you!!!! Can you join a gym or anything? I think being in a gym with a trainer would be really helpful to you, if not just walk a little, then each day go 1 minute or 30 seconds longer, start lifting the gallon jugs a few times, anything to start using muscles!!!!
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Old 01-11-2012, 08:56 AM   #46
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I'm sorry you are in pain, Jean! But, the reality is you are 445 pounds, and you cannot just GUNG HO the exercise and blaze away at it all day. You need to be smart and methodical about your movement plan. Start very small, and build on it every single day, even if by 30 seconds, as Amber suggested. She is right, and your muscles will start working with you. I think your pain is just your muscles screaming "WTH! WTH! WTH!" from all the walking you did, as that seems to not be a normal occurance. That happened to me when I did my Kettlebells too hard the first time. I could not sit down without crying out!

Just keep at it, but slow your roll and make a firm incremental plan to build up your endurance. At this stage in your weightloss, the food is most important, anyway, the exercise will come as you shed the pounds and feel healthier and mentally stonger.

Gold star day yesterday!
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Old 01-11-2012, 09:26 AM   #47
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Hi Jean! I'm here to join your cheer team. You can do this!
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Old 01-11-2012, 12:07 PM   #48
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Yeah it is not about running a marathon it is little bits here and there to get started and I guarantee your legs and feet will feel better once you move, and make sure you have really good supportive shoes to protect your ankles and stuff, that is important, and dont know if you are busty, but sports bra is good, I about killed myself with my own boob one time, LOL
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Old 01-11-2012, 12:49 PM   #49
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Thank you everyone!!! I appreciate all of your words I really do.

One of the things I also decided when I began this journal/blog was that I will be as honest with myself as I can. I know overall I'm a pretty upbeat and positive person about anything and everything other than myself and what I have done to myself.

I am saying the above, as a bit of disclaimer. I know that I have a major journey ahead of me. I also know that as I go through this journey I will go through a lot of dark times. I had a couple of them today and I want to be able to post not only the good but the bad. So I hope all of you can hang in there with me as the dark and the light times begin.

With that being said here is the posting from my blog from this morning.

On to the doctor ~ Already tired
So I have a pulmonary doctors appointment today (One of those glorious side effects of being obese) I have sleep apnea.

I work from home so typically I don't have to put on what I call real clothes. I simply just throw on what i call knock-abouts because no one will see me or for that matter smell me (I know super sad ;o) Well today being that I have to go out into the real world means that I have to put on real world clothes. Can I just say I am already exhausted? This is completely ridiculous!!! Who gets tired from getting dressed!!! The more and more I come to these realizations the more madder I get at myself and the fat that now riddles my body.

I think as a result of it all I have begin to hate myself because I have allowed myself to get to this point. I CANNOT DO THIS ANYMORE!!! NO MORE!!! If getting dressed for the real world makes me tired than dammit I need to start getting dressed for the real world everyday. Who knows I just might begin to like myself again!!
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Old 01-11-2012, 01:01 PM   #50
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Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO NOT LIKE YOURSELF. How can you not like yourself? I've never met you and I really like you, so how is it possible you don't like you? You are not your fat. You are not your aches and pains. You are not your clothes. All that is just the stuff that's around you. YOU are to be loved and respected for who YOU are, a lovely person with great ideas and thoughts and emotions. You really need to separate yourself from that Parasitic Alien Fat Blanket that wants to drag you down. It will do everything in it's power to make you not get dressed and not bathe and not do anything all day. Is that YOU doing that? Of course not. No one wants to be that way. You are the one saying, "Hey! Waittaminutegoddammit! This isn't right!" and it's being crowded out by the fat, which hormonally is telling you, "MOAR! I NEED MOAR TO STAY FAT! QUIT MOVING AROUND!!!" (really, read Gary Taubes' Why We Get Fat and this will make more sense to you.)

Separate you from what ails you, Jean. You are a good kind hearted person who has to beat that fat blanket into submission, AND YOU ARE DOING IT RIGHT NOW YOU GLORIOUS HONEY BADGER! Do not stop your plan for any reason. It is the only way to regain what you lost, and win back your freedom from the fat. The more you do it, the stronger your willpower gets and the easier it is. Just keep going!

No more naughty talk about not liking yourself.


Last edited by glamazon; 01-11-2012 at 01:05 PM..
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Old 01-11-2012, 01:26 PM   #51
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Doctor appt. Catastrophe ~ At this point it is all about being focused

So the below is my journal entry transcribed from paper so please excuse the rawness.

So here we go another day with an another humiliating event. I just want to crawl into a whole and hide from the world. I can't talk to my husband about it right now because he is angry with me from the heated discussion we had on the way to the appointment and I need him so badly because I'm completely mortified.
So I came to the doctor today because I needed to take a breathing test and they needed to schedule my husband and I for our new sleep apnea test.

I go to the back sit on this little seat that inside of this circular booth. First off let me just say my first question to the tech was "will this hold me?" - I can't even tell you how many time I have had to ask this question and I can't even tell you how tired I am of asking myself and especially others this question. So I sit in the booth and so far so good until the technician tells me that the door has to close. She continues to try and close the booth - not going to happen. She's in more denial than I am at this point (I'm thinking it is because she probably has never attempted to test someone that didn't fit) Nevertheless she says can you try and sit straight up and push your feet back. She then attempts to close the door. She got past one leg (but can I say as she is closing the door it is scraping my leg, which means that to open it back it was going to be tricky). I'm thinking OMG I'm going to get stuck in this thing I know I am. She gets past the left leg but can't get past the right. Reality at this point has sunk in and she opened the booth up and said I will be right back. When she returned she says to me we are going to schedule you at the hospital because the booth is a little bigger there.
Do I need to say how much humiliation, despair, frustration, and sadness I felt at this moment? But I maintained myself and I walk out with no tears. I sit down to wait to be called by my doctor and all I wanted to do was cry on my husbands shoulder but that wasn't going to happen because of the previous heated discussion. So I begin to do what I am finding truly therapeutic for me right now and that is write/blog.

As I begin to write he asks me a question nicely, which leads me to tell him what just happened here we go..... The tears just start flowing in the waiting room at the doctors office. Being the good husband that he is, he then gets up and begins to console me.
Before I began this journey I would be so depressed that I would try and cheer myself up with cake, cookies, candy or anything that was remotely tasty and incredibly bad for me. Trust me I'm still thinking how could I let myself get this bad?

The only difference is now? This is just pissing me off more and more. I'm over feeling sorry for myself. Now I am super angry. I'm so angry that I want a badger to look at me and think "wow I want to be a bad ass like her"

I'M DONE WITH THE BS!!! I'M TIRED OF BEING HUMILIATED!!! I PUT MYSELF IN THIS SITUATION AND NOW IT IS TIME FOR ME TO TAKE MY ASS OUT OF IT!!!
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Old 01-11-2012, 01:31 PM   #52
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Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO NOT LIKE YOURSELF. How can you not like yourself? I've never met you and I really like you, so how is it possible you don't like you? You are not your fat. You are not your aches and pains. You are not your clothes. All that is just the stuff that's around you. YOU are to be loved and respected for who YOU are, a lovely person with great ideas and thoughts and emotions. You really need to separate yourself from that Parasitic Alien Fat Blanket that wants to drag you down. It will do everything in it's power to make you not get dressed and not bathe and not do anything all day. Is that YOU doing that? Of course not. No one wants to be that way. You are the one saying, "Hey! Waittaminutegoddammit! This isn't right!" and it's being crowded out by the fat, which hormonally is telling you, "MOAR! I NEED MOAR TO STAY FAT! QUIT MOVING AROUND!!!" (really, read Gary Taubes' Why We Get Fat and this will make more sense to you.)

Separate you from what ails you, Jean. You are a good kind hearted person who has to beat that fat blanket into submission, AND YOU ARE DOING IT RIGHT NOW YOU GLORIOUS HONEY BADGER! Do not stop your plan for any reason. It is the only way to regain what you lost, and win back your freedom from the fat. The more you do it, the stronger your willpower gets and the easier it is. Just keep going!

No more naughty talk about not liking yourself.

Ang,

Bless your heart!! You are absolutely right in everything you have said. I'm just having a bad day I guess as I am sure there will be more as I begin to detox etc. I'm fighting and I'm not giving up. Thank You for your words of encouragement. I know I have to get through this. It's going to be bad before it gets really good but man when it gets really good watch out!!! ;o)
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Old 01-11-2012, 01:32 PM   #53
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Oh however I forgot to mention with all of that I dropped 3 pounds. So that is definitely something to be happy about!!!
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Old 01-11-2012, 01:32 PM   #54
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I'm so angry that I want a badger to look at me and think "wow I want to be a bad ass like her"
Yesyesyesyesyes! That is exactly the attiutude that got me on my way.

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Old 01-11-2012, 05:33 PM   #55
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Oh hun that was traumatic day but it was a good day because if anything it stresses how much you need to take this weight off to live your life!!! I know how you feel and I know you are not living the whole rich life you deserve!!! Its easy to take everything out on our spouses too, try to be kind to hubby this is a long and hard emotional ride for him, trust me Tony has seen it all with me! Thank God he loved me and was a great support to me!

Next week like lets make a plan where on Tuesday and Thursday you wake up and get ready to go to work in a fancy office, with a fancy desk, so you need to shower and get dressed and look nice, do it----make yourself look pretty for you to sit at home and work, and eat on plan and do your thing- the self confidence from looking nice and womanly is going to keep you going!! Try it for me???? Getting your confidence back is part of this battle small victories like feeling pretty, are going to keep you going! I just wish I could fast forward you 3 months so you can see the changes that are going to be happening!!
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Old 01-11-2012, 05:43 PM   #56
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I keep forgetting to send you the link to my journal,

Becoming Wonder Woman After Spinning In Circles Half My Life

My old ones are around Bejewelme's Journey to Skinny Bride, I and II we do a lot of talking, LOL
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Old 01-11-2012, 06:28 PM   #57
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Oh hun that was traumatic day but it was a good day because if anything it stresses how much you need to take this weight off to live your life!!! I know how you feel and I know you are not living the whole rich life you deserve!!! Its easy to take everything out on our spouses too, try to be kind to hubby this is a long and hard emotional ride for him, trust me Tony has seen it all with me! Thank God he loved me and was a great support to me!

Next week like lets make a plan where on Tuesday and Thursday you wake up and get ready to go to work in a fancy office, with a fancy desk, so you need to shower and get dressed and look nice, do it----make yourself look pretty for you to sit at home and work, and eat on plan and do your thing- the self confidence from looking nice and womanly is going to keep you going!! Try it for me???? Getting your confidence back is part of this battle small victories like feeling pretty, are going to keep you going! I just wish I could fast forward you 3 months so you can see the changes that are going to be happening!!
Hiya Amber,

yes it was a pretty bad day!! But I'm going to use it to make me strong. I love your plan of Tuesday and Thursday. It's not to much I was thinking do it everyday but then I know me I will get tired and give up. But taking small steps is probably a great move.

Thank you for being you and for being such an amazing support. You and Ang are truly amazing!!!
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Old 01-11-2012, 06:28 PM   #58
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I keep forgetting to send you the link to my journal,

Becoming Wonder Woman After Spinning In Circles Half My Life

My old ones are around Bejewelme's Journey to Skinny Bride, I and II we do a lot of talking, LOL
I'm there and I am totally subscribed!!!
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Old 01-11-2012, 06:32 PM   #59
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WOE: Atkins
Start Date: restarted 9/27/2010
Yeah you have to do things small so you can grow, you are going to be making a lot of changes to your whole way of going at life so its important to not feel overwhelmed, just take it all small, and soon you will be saying I can do this everyday! Like with anything you need time to make it a new habit!!! You can do it we so got your back!
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Old 01-12-2012, 06:30 AM   #60
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Brooklyn
Posts: 17,052
Gallery: Dedicated
Stats: Goal is a Healthy Weight!
WOE: Clean Eating!
Start Date: Everyday!
Quote:
Originally Posted by need2behealthy View Post
Hey Cle,

It was completely uneventful but restful. How about yours?
Tottally the same! Just been busy back at work. It's a new semester so the first couple of weeks are always busy and hard. This morning is a little slow so I'm tyring to catch up on the journals!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by need2behealthy View Post
Oh however I forgot to mention with all of that I dropped 3 pounds. So that is definitely something to be happy about!!!
Good stuff!!!!

Keep it up!!! One pound at a time!!!! I'm going to keep reminding myself of that fact! you have a wonderful low carb day!!!
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