The Big Reveal

[Jayce]

Originally Posted by DesertGurl

Hope you feel better!

Re: Ex issues.. Lord have mercy... Seriously, he should get full custody.. I hope she realizes that every time he bails her out only builds a case for himself that he's the better suited parent. He sounds like a good daddy. I can certainly understand how that could be a tad stressful for you to deal with! Hang in there hon, he sounds like a good guy and I know you'll figure out what's right for you!

Now get to bed young lady!

Thank you -- I feel better this morning. I think it was some type of stomach bug.

He is a good dad. I was iffy on whether I wanted to become involved with someone who had kids, but he is a good man, so I wanted to give it a chance. It seems like a lot of baggage, but I know it's not his fault if his ex is a piece of work. I am working on being more patient and understanding. It's hard sometimes though b/c I can be a "brat" sometimes and want more attention. LOL. One day at a time, though, I guess. I wish I were better at relationships than I am!!!

Originally Posted by Dedicated

Feel better!!! Hope you get to 100% soon

Thanks, boo! I appreciate the good vibes.

Originally Posted by shari

Hope you're feeling better today. Wow....that's real trife..smh. It has to be very stressful to have to take care of an adult that should know how to at least keep the main stuff going. I feel for him. Glad he's communicating with you so you know what he's going through and can give support.

Thanks, Shari! I appreciate it!

Yes, "real trife" is the perfect phrase to describe it. LOL! I don't understand why people have kids if they can't do the bare minimum to take care of them. She needs to get her tubes tied, in my opinion. He also showed me pictures of the kids' rooms at her place, and it is nasty. I am not the world's neatest person, but I would not let kids live like that.

Things have been kinda "off" with he & I lately. Our conversation yesterday started with a slight disagreement, and it seems like he was short with me in our text convos last night (don't know if he was mad b/c I stayed home the last 2 nights, but I didn't feel well). I texted him this morning the following message (let me know y'all's opinions, if you don't mind):

Good morning! I wanted to tell you that I want to apologize for any undue stress I may have added to your life lately. I think we may have crossed wires sometimes communication wise, and that leads to misunderstandings. I overreact to little things sometimes. I want us to be good friends, as well as bf/gf, so I want you to know I'm here if you need to vent. If not, that's cool too. We all process things differently. Have a good day.

[Happy2be]

Looks like a good message. Good luck with your relationship. They sure are hard at times especially if communicating is an issue.

Drama from the ex wife is no good. You let him know you are there and thats all you can do.

[Jayce]

Originally Posted by Happy2be

Looks like a good message. Good luck with your relationship. They sure are hard at times especially if communicating is an issue.

Drama from the ex wife is no good. You let him know you are there and thats all you can do.

Thanks for your feedback. I sent the texts at 8 AM and haven't heard from him, which is very unusual. He is usually good about texting me/calling me. You know what, if what I said isn't good enough, then I give up. I don't know what else to do. I read in Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus that guys need "cave time," meaning that they like to be quiet and reflect on things, so when women ask them questions like, "Is something bothering you?", etc. and they give short answers, that we should let them be and give them time to come back on their own. I irritated him a few weekends ago by asking him questions b/c I thought he was upset. The book says that we as women prefer to talk about it when we're upset b/c the talking helps us get out feelings out and think things through -- we're more concerned about being heard -- whereas men aren't that way.

I am just confused right now. I feel like if he doesn't respond to me by the time I leave work (5 PM), then I am ready to be done with it.

[DesertGurl]

Glad you're feeling better today!

As for the boy... hmmmm, well...from experience all I can tell you is that communication has to happen both ways. You BOTH deserve it and it is the one key piece that keeps relationships thriving. I say from experience because it is the one piece that nearly destroyed my marriage. Boy, girl, whoever..both parties have a responsibility to speak and say what's going on in their head, especially if they expect to keep a relationship going. I think men have been conditioned from such a young age that it's "girly" to speak your heart, to be vocal about what they want, so they don't do it.. Personally, I think it's all b.s. Once DH got to talking he hasn't shut up I have loved every moment of it. It took me nearly 16 yrs of marriage to finally understand that I wasn't getting everything I deserved...and how we made it that far before the wheels fell off we will never know LOL... but we learned from our mistakes and were willing to fix it to stay together. Bottom line: if you feel like you need more communications from him, then that's what you need. You deserve that! I'm glad that you sent your message. It was honest and from the heart. We want nothing but good things for you, I hope that he does too!!

[Jayce]

Ok, so he texted me at 11:45 with this message: I didn't know we were having issues communicating.

O_O

I responded back, but in re-reading my messages, I didn't really express what I wanted to that well. I haven't heard back from him.

I am going to leave it alone right now. I guess I will see him later b/c we had planned on hanging out tonight. I am not even going to address it further if I do see him tonight. I don't know that it would help.

[Jayce]

This book I'm reading right now is totally what I needed. It's Mars and Venus Together Forever: Relationship Skills for Lasting Love. I had read the first book and thought it was ok, but this one is right on the money. I have already found several passages that greatly resonate with me...I see some things I do in my relationship now that I could handle differently.

An excerpt:

When we feel blame toward our partner, it is difficult to accept, understand, and forgive their limitations and imperfections. Only through learning to love them in stormy times can we grow together. Anybody can love somebody who's perfect.

The test of love is caring for a person even though we know them to be less than perfect and have experienced their daily limitations. We claim that we want to be loved for who we are. But can we really love our partners for who they are? When are hearts are open, love is automatic.

When are hearts are closed, we are responsible for opening up. We are no longer children. To have an adult relationship, we must shoulder responsibility.

[Sara7272]

I've gotta read that shizz....

[Jayce]

Originally Posted by Sara7272

I've gotta read that shizz....

It's been very helpful, actually. I was kinda surprised b/c I just picked it up on spur of the moment at the library last weekend. It seems spot on when it comes to the differences in how men & women communicate.

Update: Went over to my bf's last night, and it was kinda awkward at first, but I just acted like nothing was wrong and we ending up watching a movie w/ his best friend before he had to go to work (his best friend's a cop). I brought up the text messages this morning before I left, and we are on the same page now. I told him I wasn't able to express precisely what I wanted to, so we talked about what I'd meant, and he understands where I'm coming from now. Today is our 2 month anniversary.

Weight was up to 231.8 this morning, but my TOM is ending, and it was like 232 something yesterday. I haven't been 100% making good eating choices either, so I'll take responsibility for that. Just gotta keep trucking one day at a time!

So glad it's Friday! We are going to Dave & Buster's tomorrow...I'm excited like a little kid. LOL. I've never been to one, and there isn't one here, so we're driving to Richmond and spending the day up there.

[ceecee08]

AAAWWW I am so glad yall are working things out. Happy Anniversary to you two.

I love a good read and that sounds pretty good. I also have Steve Harvey's book on my Ipad. That is a great book too.

Have a great day!! TOM is leaving me too!!

[Jayce]

Originally Posted by ceecee08

AAAWWW I am so glad yall are working things out. Happy Anniversary to you two.

I love a good read and that sounds pretty good. I also have Steve Harvey's book on my Ipad. That is a great book too.

Have a great day!! TOM is leaving me too!!

Thanks, Cassidy. I am glad things are better now...it was really bugging me (I'm sure that's obvious from my posts yesterday ). Oh, get this: for some reason, I was talking about the flowers he sent me when we first started dating & how my mom was impressed b/c they were unique, and I told her he picked them out himself. Well, he shows me this notepad app on his phone & it's titled "All About J" and he has a list of things that I like in there, like favorite flowers, movie, music, etc. He said, "I'm a guy...we need notes!" LOL. I thought that was really cute.

I read Steve Harvey's book, but it was awhile ago. I may look at it again in the future.

Thanks! I'm so glad it's Friday...I'm ready to go home. I swear I have a fever again, and it's driving me batty! I don't know what to do.

[Happy2be]

Yay!!!! So sweet that he has a file about you. Glad things worked out and you are on the same page. It's so hard sometimes to get your point across when texting.

Take care of yourself so you aren't sick for your Dave and busters trip. Have fun!!!

[shari]

Aww, how sweet of him to take notes!! He get points all around for that! You're going to my hometown...I didn't know they have Dave and Buster's now LOL. Have fun!!!

[Bejewelme]

Jayce- this guy is a keeper, OMG that made me cry that he has a little note file about the things you like, that says he wants to please you, he is a rare bird!! Keep reading your book, I think you found a gem!!!!! And it is true, it is easy to love someone who is perfect, but you have to love the imperfections as well or at least tolerate them, no man is perfect! Keep going girl, it is so nice to be in a relationship with someone that truly cares about you!!!! My old man brought be flowers last night for no reason, that is why I love him!

[Jayce]

Originally Posted by Happy2be

Yay!!!! So sweet that he has a file about you. Glad things worked out and you are on the same page. It's so hard sometimes to get your point across when texting.

Take care of yourself so you aren't sick for your Dave and busters trip. Have fun!!!

I definitely thought it was sweet. I agree -- texting is great from a convenience standpoint (and because I have unlimited texting), but it is hard to gauge someone's attitude sometimes.

I was fine on Saturday, so we had a good time at Dave & Buster's. He was kind of disappointed b/c he said the one we went to was smaller than the one he'd been to in Baltimore, and this one was more geared towards kids instead of adults. We still had fun, though. I played this Wheel of Fortune game and won over 600 tickets on 1 game! I was like a little kid...LOL! I redeemed my tickets for this cute owl corkscrew...

Originally Posted by shari

Aww, how sweet of him to take notes!! He get points all around for that! You're going to my hometown...I didn't know they have Dave and Buster's now LOL. Have fun!!!

Yea, I had to give him some "points" for that one. The Dave & Buster's was in Glen Allen, so right outside of Richmond. I think it was near Short Pump shopping area. It seems like there's a lot of stuff to do there...I'd like to go back.

Originally Posted by Bejewelme

Jayce- this guy is a keeper, OMG that made me cry that he has a little note file about the things you like, that says he wants to please you, he is a rare bird!! Keep reading your book, I think you found a gem!!!!! And it is true, it is easy to love someone who is perfect, but you have to love the imperfections as well or at least tolerate them, no man is perfect! Keep going girl, it is so nice to be in a relationship with someone that truly cares about you!!!! My old man brought be flowers last night for no reason, that is why I love him!

Yea, I was surprised that he had those notes in his phone -- it definitely made me smile. He gave me some gas money this morning, which was much appreciated! I am going to work on focusing on the good things, as opposed to the minor tiffs we have.

Didn't weigh this morning, so not sure where I'm standing. Had a "Hawaiian Roll" from this sushi place last night: it had shrimp tempura, mango, & cream cheese inside and then avocado on top w/ coconut flakes. OMG. I have never been a sushi person, but that stuff was delicious!

[Happy2be]

Glad to hear you guys had fun. That corkscrew is so cute.

[DesertGurl]

Sounds like you had a wonderful time!! I love Dave & Buster's. Ours is huge here.. the building used to be a nightclubby thing with like 2 or 3 restuarants in it and then they went out of business.... they kept a couple of the resturants and bars.. and the entire upstairs is allllll games. DH took me there for my last birthday we had a blast!

Definite points for keeping notes on what his girl likes. That is effort on his part...guys don't usually do things like that unless they're inspired. The boy is positively smitten and that is lovely!

Cute cute avi!!!!

[ceecee08]

AAAAWWWWW That is soooo sweet JG!!! NOTES!!! OMG.... Ok... can we say KEEPER!! How awesome is that. i am so glad you guys had a good time. And Sushi!! I LOVE sushi!! (I only eat the cooked stuff tho) Love the corkscrew. too cute.


Again.... AAAAWWWW LOL

[Dedicated]

Originally Posted by Jayce

Thanks, Cassidy. I am glad things are better now...it was really bugging me (I'm sure that's obvious from my posts yesterday ). Oh, get this: for some reason, I was talking about the flowers he sent me when we first started dating & how my mom was impressed b/c they were unique, and I told her he picked them out himself. Well, he shows me this notepad app on his phone & it's titled "All About J" and he has a list of things that I like in there, like favorite flowers, movie, music, etc. He said, "I'm a guy...we need notes!" LOL. I thought that was really cute.

I read Steve Harvey's book, but it was awhile ago. I may look at it again in the future.

Thanks! I'm so glad it's Friday...I'm ready to go home. I swear I have a fever again, and it's driving me batty! I don't know what to do.

He's Too cute!!! If I had a pole in the room, it would be on and popping! Lol just saying

Originally Posted by ceecee08

AAAAWWWWW That is soooo sweet JG!!! NOTES!!! OMG.... Ok... can we say KEEPER!! How awesome is that. i am so glad you guys had a good time. And Sushi!! I LOVE sushi!! (I only eat the cooked stuff tho) Love the corkscrew. too cute.


Again.... AAAAWWWW LOL

Lol I sushi too!!! Only raw though... I can't do cooked sushi

[ceecee08]

At RAW!!! icant LOL

Mawnin JG!!

[Dedicated]

Originally Posted by ceecee08

At RAW!!! icant LOL

Mawnin JG!!

Lol!!!!

[ceecee08]

JG... Come out and plaaaaaay LOL

[Dedicated]

Originally Posted by ceecee08

JG... Come out and plaaaaaay LOL

[Jayce]

Morning, peeps! Glad it's almost Friday (I know, I say that every week...lol). Gotta have something to look forward to, though.

[shari]

Good morning! I feel ya on the Friday countdown..one more day!

[ceecee08]

YESSSS one more day. I can't wait.

[Dedicated]

Originally Posted by Jayce

Morning, peeps! Glad it's almost Friday (I know, I say that every week...lol). Gotta have something to look forward to, though.

Seriously!!!! I NEED a Friday! I didn't even work Monday and this has been a long week.

[Jayce]

These last couple of days have been annoying...lol. I've been dealing with this lady at another company, and she does not seem to be the brightest crayon in the box.

[ceecee08]

I have been annoyed all week!!!! I UNDERSTAND. Try doing over 50 pages of work for someone to tell you "Oops, I told you to use the wrong numbers" WTH %$&#@ Talking about pissed. I been on another level all day. I am just ready to go.

[Dedicated]

Originally Posted by Jayce

These last couple of days have been annoying...lol. I've been dealing with this lady at another company, and she does not seem to be the brightest crayon in the box.

some people just can't help it

[Bejewelme]

jayce- hello??? gas money??? that guy is a keeper that is a caring reliable man that is thinking of you!!!!! I think it is super!!!!!! I am loving watching this blossom!!! I am a romantic at heart and always want a happy ending!!!

I love sushi, raw eel is my fav, but I hate cucumber, so I always have to order it with avocado! LOL

Have a great weekend, I am glad for Friday!!!