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Old 08-19-2011, 11:42 AM   #121
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Yea my dad was a major screw up in my life... I really wanted him to be there but he couldn't stay off the addicitons that were overpowering his life. That is why I am so emotional with all men I have ever had a relationship with and James is the only one that really understands everything I have ever been through. Enough thread jacking... I am so proud of you Danielle. For being over issues with your mom. I tried but it is hard to get over it. Jillian's book sounds interesting... might have to look into it.
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Old 08-19-2011, 11:44 AM   #122
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I haven't spoken to my entire family except 1 sister since last December. Lots and Lots of drama has been my life the last couple years and they were a catalyst for some of it. I'm just done. It's taken me alot of time this year to realize that my "current" issues with them have always been long standing issues from childhood and on. To be told by my mother that I was "in the way" or that I ruined her life because she never got to fulfill her dreams..doesn't make for real self esteem building experiences. I've accepted that they will never come to party with what they have done, accept responsibility for the stuff they've said to me or to my husband, and I've simply just walked away. To be honest? Its been a huge relief!

Down half a pound. I'm not even sure when the last day it was that I weighed? I'm all over the place and keep forgetting to write this stuff down. Half a pound, its not great, its not super, but it's a loss! besides, I've enjoyed myself this week and I'll take it!!

On that note; we're going out tonight. Lookin forward to my night out with the hubbs.
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Old 08-19-2011, 11:51 AM   #123
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Have a great time with your hubby Danielle!!!
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Old 08-19-2011, 11:54 AM   #124
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Thanks Cassidy! We have really mad an effort to make sure we have at least 1 night a week that we are out alone. We spent probably 17 yrs or so never really going out much at all. It's nice to have the kids be older so we can enjoy eachother outside of playing mom n dad. At the same time, I think if I was given the opportunity to have my kids be 2,4, and 6 again, I'd do it in a heartbeat!!!
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Old 08-19-2011, 11:57 AM   #125
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Danielle- have fun on date night, I am glad you have come to terms with your family and that you are not letting them stand in the way of your family!!!!! The crap we grew up is such emotional baggage that we are still carrying into our 40's, you can never really forget, but you can reconcile it in your own head!!!!

Give us a movie report!!! I am thinking Conan, man that dude is hot!!!! Not so hot in the movie but in real life, dreamy!!!!!
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Old 08-19-2011, 12:21 PM   #126
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Danielle- have fun on date night, I am glad you have come to terms with your family and that you are not letting them stand in the way of your family!!!!! The crap we grew up is such emotional baggage that we are still carrying into our 40's, you can never really forget, but you can reconcile it in your own head!!!!Give us a movie report!!! I am thinking Conan, man that dude is hot!!!! Not so hot in the movie but in real life, dreamy!!!!!
THIS is exactly what I was just talking about in therapy. and its kinda just too damn bad that my family isn't happy with my choices or decisions...have they ever liked anything I've ever done??? Seriously! i think I truly stunned my family by walking away and never looking back. 1. They totally underestimated the force of my marriage, and my bond with my husband. 2. They have no clue the work I have put into myself the last 18 months, essenitally making me almost a different person in some ways. I'm done accepting half-a$$ from anyone who claims they want to be in my life. Either you're all the way in and stepping up to the plate, or your out!

Not sure if we're gonna go to a movie but more than likely that's where we'll end up. We havent talking about it yet. The guy from Thor was pretty fun to look at The guy in Conan I've seen him before but I can't place where? Oh hey! Maybe we'll go see The Change Up..with Jason Bateman and Ryan Reynolds. That looks fun! But first I'm gettin my grub on and having a beer or 2. Ultra of course!
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Old 08-19-2011, 12:25 PM   #127
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I haven't spoken to my entire family except 1 sister since last December. Lots and Lots of drama has been my life the last couple years and they were a catalyst for some of it. I'm just done. It's taken me alot of time this year to realize that my "current" issues with them have always been long standing issues from childhood and on. To be told by my mother that I was "in the way" or that I ruined her life because she never got to fulfill her dreams..doesn't make for real self esteem building experiences. I've accepted that they will never come to party with what they have done, accept responsibility for the stuff they've said to me or to my husband, and I've simply just walked away. To be honest? Its been a huge relief!

Down half a pound. I'm not even sure when the last day it was that I weighed? I'm all over the place and keep forgetting to write this stuff down. Half a pound, its not great, its not super, but it's a loss! besides, I've enjoyed myself this week and I'll take it!!

On that note; we're going out tonight. Lookin forward to my night out with the hubbs.
Well you are a strong beautiful woman! Look at you melting before our eyes!!!
Have fun on your date night with hubby, I am having an at house date night with hubbs as well movie and a BIG FAT STEAK! yummers!
You go get some .......... quality time girl!
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Old 08-19-2011, 12:34 PM   #128
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Old 08-19-2011, 12:35 PM   #129
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Old 08-19-2011, 01:25 PM   #130
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Hi Danielle! Have a great night out with hubby! I just read all of your journal that I missed. I have to get here more often even if I'm not feeling well just so I can keep up.

I agree it's great to get out alone without the kids. We do it often, usually out for dinner. Hubby would fall asleep at any movie in a theater...and at home-lol. He's just not the movie type. Be glad that you have one who likes to do that once in a while. Enjoy!
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Old 08-19-2011, 01:35 PM   #131
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Oh gosh, sheila you'll soon find out that we would do movies every single night if we could! seriously, its one of our most favorite past times. something about being in a theater with all that sound and screen! We joke that the theater needs to give us our own private theater or at the very least, 2 reserved cushy seats! we're there nearly every weekend. and lets not talk about our dvd collection.... It's like our 4th child!
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Old 08-19-2011, 02:00 PM   #132
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Snoozy- me and your hub would get along great, I fall asleep watching at home and the theater too, LOL In 3 years me and Tony have been to one movie, Transformers 2 at Imax and I stayed awake, LOL

Man I want a fun night!! I have chores and more chores all weekend, yuck!!! And I am being really strict, onderland is calling so no beer or good stuff, yuck, some fish Swai, never heard of it, I grabbed it thinking it was tilipia, will see how that is, and asparagus, really living it up tonight, I wish I was doing LC wings and beer sound good, LOL

Danielle- my step Dad was an a-hole drunk I hated him, I finally wrote him off when I had my son, and I feel so much better, he is my sister's natural father I admit at B-day parties for my nieces I still get that sick feeling, but I get over it, I ignore him and he ignores me!!!! I said look if you cant have a healthy relationship with me I certainly dont want you around my child!
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Old 08-19-2011, 03:35 PM   #133
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Oh the chores are definitely waiting for me this weekend. Tomorrow DD17 has to go get her senior yearbook photo taken and then we gotta go back to the mall

Amber you are so close to Onederland, if I was that close I'd be eating clean clean clean too! Right now I'm sorta just checkin things out and seeing how I feel and lose accordingly. I know one thing, I cannot feel deprived for anything or it's just a big ole mess and I will go way way off plan.

I have no idea how you fall asleep in the movies! My mom is notrious for this, always drove me batty. Dh fell asleep in every. single. Harry Potter movie By the last one he was like, oh good, a guaranteed 3 hr nap.
such a brat!!!!

Ok, well hubs is coming home so I best get going!
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Old 08-20-2011, 04:06 AM   #134
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and lets not talk about our dvd collection.... It's like our 4th child!
I know exactly what you mean.....I have a 260 cd/dvd case and a 400 cd/dvd case I had to get the case b/c we didn't have room for all of our dvd's. lemme see some of the bigger ones:
HOUSE all of em
Ghost whisperer all of em
LOST all of em
XMEN trilogy
this list goes on - Hubby likes actions
I am a total Horror/psychological thrill *****. I love having the crap scared outta me. hehe
you see we have one of those get a movie in the mail type deals and well....lets just say I have the ability to copy certain ones I like. lol. So I will order ones from like the 80's like days of thunder and dirty dancing I copy them for my own enjoyment just b/c I love movies - it's nice to slip into imagination.
good movies lately
Source Code
Unknown
Insidious

Only thing I watch on TV is Jersylicious (it's my guilty pleasure)
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Old 08-20-2011, 09:07 AM   #135
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Danielle- remember eat foods you like, I know Fit Day is a pain, but tracking does help and make sure you get enough calories, if low carb you can eat a lot of fat and it fills you up!!!!!

I forget what you weigh? take weight times x10= calories to maintain, shoot for 20% deficit for good weight loss it will work, calories do count, I can say this from this year, calories , fat, carbs the percentages all go hand in hand! It took me a long time to get that through my head, I was eating so little like 1100 calories, and 80% fat when I stalled that was way to few calories for my body weight.
Weight loss is such a perilous journey, isn't it? You have to eat enough....but not too much....get your carbs in....but not too many....drink your water....but not too much.....get your exercise in.....but too much because exercise may make you retain water. It's enough to drive a girl insane!
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Old 08-21-2011, 12:35 PM   #136
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Christina I think we'd get along really well IRL! We have to find a new cabinet for movies as we have "outgrown" the one we have. I'm thinking we may do a wall unit when we move. Why not let it be the focal wall for our living room, eh? I love thriller movies, the gory bloody stuff not so much. I'm a huge sucker for 80's flicks- it was my high school era! I think I love just about everything though! Oh! And I love Jerseylicious! That, and Basketball Wives. Guilty pleasures for sure!

Amber, yanno Bryan can fall asleep sitting up too unless we are at the movies! He works probably 75+ hrs a week so i guess it stands to reason he is tired huh? But take him to a movie and he's wide awake!

No No NO!! You said the evil word!!! Counting! I really detest having to do that, i really do. I get incredibly obsessive and overwhelmed, then everyone around me is miserable including me. *sigh* guess I better figure out a way to suck it up. Thanks for the formula though I had no idea. This makes me question things because going by that formula, I'm totally not eating enough! Eyeballing it, I'd say I'm probably around 1200-1400 cal on any given day. Yikes I can't imagine eating more food!!

Rice Paddie, my head is spinning by what Amber just told me. Now I need to reassess things and make sure I'm eating right for optimal losses. this could be why I'm losing only little amounts! How's things going for you???
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Old 08-21-2011, 03:23 PM   #137
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Not eating enough totally screws up your system, your body thinks it is famine mode and will hold on to your fat, trust me I was eating like 1100 calories and wondering why I wasnt losing, the .10 is for not that active, the number goes up the more you workout.
Moderate active is .12, that is what I use. Let me tell you I learned a lot this last year, eat enough calories, eat often, every 3 hours, if you are doing low carb keep the carbs low and the fat high, it works!!!!!! Trust me!!!!
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Old 08-21-2011, 07:17 PM   #138
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Rice Paddie, my head is spinning by what Amber just told me. Now I need to reassess things and make sure I'm eating right for optimal losses. this could be why I'm losing only little amounts! How's things going for you???
Hi Danielle -

My weight loss seems to go in fits and spurts. I'll go days - even up to a couple of weeks bouncing around the same couple of pounds and then I'll have a whoosh. It's frustrating but I guess that's just how my body losses weight...I think.

I've struggled with the whole 'how much should I be eating' thing. It's definitely confusing. I try to get at least 45 minutes of exercise in per day....but have no idea where that puts me in terms of activity level. Is that considered moderate?? Does that mean that I should be taking my weight and multiplying it by .12 and then subtracting an additional 20% to come up with the amount of calories I should be consuming for optimum weight loss???

It's frustrating because sometimes I feel like I'm constantly trying to analyze every little thing when it comes to my weight loss. I've lost 27 pounds now since 6/4 and while I'm definitely not losing as quickly as I did in the beginning, I'm still continuing to lose. I'm so afraid to do anything that will jeopardize my ability to continue the weight loss. On the one hand, I feel that I should just relax and trust that the process works but on the other hand I wonder if the process wouldn't work faster if I could just tweak something here or there. It's enough to make my head spin sometimes.
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Old 08-22-2011, 05:48 AM   #139
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Danille- today is the day 100 pounds, you were there with me in the beginning!!!!

I posted this in my journal but I am going to put it here for you all, if you looked at the ups and downs it was crazy, up 17 over Christmas in 3 days remember that?

47 weeks of dieting= 100 pounds
2.12 pounds per week

10/29/10- went to Gold's Gym open house with Kay a co worker didn't join.

9/27-1/10/11= 40 pounds lost in 15 weeks= 2.66 pounds per week

1/10/11 first night at World Gym weight= 265

1/10/11-8/22/11= 60 pounds lost in 32 weeks = 1.875 pounds per week, 1 month off for surgery, 2 months til I could work out arms

5/17/11- started working out with my trainer

5/1711- 8/22/11- 225- 205= 20 pounds lost in 14 weeks= .7 pounds per week, but significant body change, def lost fat and built muscle.



Ricepaddie- what is the 45 minutes of exercise, is it walking, strength training?

take your weight 232 x .11= 2552 to maintain that weight - 20% deficit (510)- 2042 is the approximate amount of calories to lose 1-2 pounds per week, use that as a guideline, but I wouldn't go below 1900, and stick to whatever low carb level you are eating.

You have lost on average 2.5 pounds per week, that is awesome, you will have weeks of like no loss or slight and then the whoosh comes sometimes your body says hey what is she doing,am I going to get fed, or is she starving me, and then it says OK I know waht she is doing I can let go of some of this.

Danielle- I am not sure what your weight is but do the same, but use .10 that is not basically doing the normal stuff of your day no real consistent exercise, I use .12 since I am running and training 6 days a week.

Honestly I could write a book on things I learned, this is the most important lesson, our bodies need fed to lose the weight, you need to reset your body on how you process food. I suggest 5-6 small meals, like I am eating around 2000 calories I try to keep my meals around 300-350 calories every 3 hours, never a big meal late at night, and always breakfast and a snack at least an hour before bed time. The constant small feedings keep you full and keeps your metabolism burning, so you get up after sleeping no breakfast, your organs your metabolism shuts down cause it wonders where and when is my next meal coming it says hey I better hold on to dear life to this fat. And if you are doing low carb eat fat, I am not a fan of the all saturated fat diet, I think a little is fine, but I think olive oil and coconut oil, is better than cheese and bacon, but that is me, and hey I ate my share of bacon. But with the sodium and nitrates, use the oils to stir fry, or as salald dressings and marinades, but dont fear fat if you are sticking to low carb. High carb + High fat= massive weight gain, think of all the foods we used to love, sugar and carbs, potato chips, donuts, cookies, battered fried foods, disaster!!!!

I am just throwing my observations out there, it is darn frustrating I know, but I can tell you I lost a lot of time by not eating enough!!!!!!
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Old 08-22-2011, 06:50 AM   #140
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Danielle- James and I are in love with movies and good tv shows. We like comedies. And girl I love Basketball Wiives and Single Ladies... and let me not forget Desperate Housewives!!!! All are my guilty pleasures. I hope you and the Hubby had a great time. That's what I plan on doing while my DD is away. Spending quality time!!! I am praying you see a loss today. I hate counting stuff to Danielle but I have been losing. It's easier for me just to count carbs.
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Old 08-22-2011, 08:17 AM   #141
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First day back to school! Meh! I am perfectly happy sittin here like a lump for 3 months why does school need to go and ruin it all!

Cee, did ya see there's a new Bastetball Wives starting with the ladies from L.A.?! That looke looks like even more of a trainwreck so ya know I'm gonna have to watch. I used to watch Desperate Housewives too and I dunno what happened, just quit watchin? Too many things to watch, I get overwhelmed way too easily. LOL We did have a great time out, and we seriously need to take a little trip away because in the coming months it proves to get way way hectic around here. I think he's planning a little weekend getaway, not too far away but at least we get alone time for a few days. thank goodness for older kids! We did a weekend trip to Los Angeles in April, I won tix to a show with airfare. We had SO much fun! Can't wait to do that again.

Amber, again, so so proud of ya girl! Thanks for all the info it truly does make sense but I am such a big baby when it comes to stuff sometimes. Just gotta work through it and get to the right place in my head if I wanna succeed long term.

RicePaddie, I can understand feeling like you don't wanna mess with a good thing. You seem to be losing at a pretty good rate IMO maybe you're doing everything right? I can't wait to say I've lost 25 pounds and feel like I've really accomplished something!! Hang in there lady, you can do this.
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Old 08-22-2011, 08:20 AM   #142
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Yes I saw the new BBW LA!!! I can't wait for more mushing in the face and catfights!!! I love it!!! I am sad that this is Desperate Housewives last season but they had a good run.... just hate to see my girls at Wiesteria Lane leave me!!!! I even have James watching it!! LMAO
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Old 08-22-2011, 08:45 AM   #143
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Yes I saw the new BBW LA!!! I can't wait for more mushing in the face and catfights!!! I love it!!! I am sad that this is Desperate Housewives last season but they had a good run.... just hate to see my girls at Wiesteria Lane leave me!!!! I even have James watching it!! LMAO
Oooo that Tammy in Miami can really get it goin can't she! LOL I thought Meeka was a goner there for a while in that last brawl they had! And OMG, I hate hate HATE Jen's STBX. He's such an a$$! That's funny that he's watching DH with you, I got mine hooked on Big Brother this season He's all into the game play and everything it's hilarious but I love it. And man, if you watch BB, then yanno that Mr. Jeff on there is all kinds of fun to look at. He is so cute!
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Old 08-22-2011, 09:07 AM   #144
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LOL... Yea Tammy is something else!!!! Yea Eric is a butt hole!!!
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Old 08-22-2011, 09:45 AM   #145
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Christina I think we'd get along really well IRL! We have to find a new cabinet for movies as we have "outgrown" the one we have. I'm thinking we may do a wall unit when we move. Why not let it be the focal wall for our living room, eh? I love thriller movies, the gory bloody stuff not so much. I'm a huge sucker for 80's flicks- it was my high school era! I think I love just about everything though! Oh! And I love Jerseylicious! That, and Basketball Wives.
I agree completely!

we had movie cabinet, but it was taking up so much room I decided to get rid of the dvd cases and just buy a folder with dvd/cd holder sleeves in it. now we have around 500 dvd's that fit nicely under the living room accent table.

Amber - you are way awesome, and inspiring! could you give us an example of a day of food? Do you prepare these in the weekends? I'm such a procrastinator, preparation is not my specialty, but Low Carb is easier than any other plan I have been on.

D - sent DS to the store lastnight for Hamburger buns - he came back and had a KoolAide grin from ear to ear. I told him "you smiled the whole way to the store didn't you?"
he said "yeap!"I remember doing that the first time I drove by myself.

SO, back at school? Me too i went to today and got my ID and parking sticker I felt so ancient around all those yunguns. But it's cool.....when everyone was spazing b./c they didn't have a copy of their schedule (like me) my common sense kicked and I thought, the school computer lab...I can print it out scooted over there printed it out and was surprised it was so empty and nobody else figured that out. geeze you would think i was a mom and has super senses.....well duh.....
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Old 08-22-2011, 10:55 AM   #146
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BB- I am not doing LC so much now but I can tell you what I ate I am very boring, I would fix the menu for the week, and shop and cook over the weekend, I like to have Tony grill the first 3 days meat for like M-W then it is quick to fix.

Breakfast was the same always- 5 cups of coffee with half and half and liquid splenda and an Atkins shake.

10:00-almonds

12- lunch usually whatever meat we grilled, maybe a chicken breast, a hamburger patty with cheese, bratwurst, hotdogs, you name it egg salad, chicken salad

3:00- usually a SF candy or LC bar- I get constipated with too much protein so I always ate them

5:00- meat, steak, chicken, pork chops, usually a good 10-12 ounces and salad with olive oil and feta cheese, kalamata olives, a huge toss salad,

8:00- cheese, or something like that- I was fond of the cracker barrell slices for portion control

I ate pretty boring all the time, just grilled meats, salad with dinner and shakes, eggs and bacon maybe on the weekends. I think simple is better, I really didnt track, just counted carbs and eventually knew I was ok, until I stopped losing, then when I was tracking I saw how few calories I was eating and I was working out. It really isnt a hard diet to follow, I think it offers good choices, the only thing I missed was salty crunch, Skinny crisps are the best thing I found, OMG they are so expensive but so delish the best cracker alternative! I would make egg salad, chicken salad with real mayo and hard boiled eggs, celery onion, etc, and just eat it with a fork. It was easy for the others they ate meat and salad or another veg we might have broc or asparagus, and then a starch I would bake them potato, or pasta whatever neither of them ever complained about the food. Sometimes I would say you guys get a pizza and they had their fix.
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Old 08-22-2011, 11:22 AM   #147
Very Gabby LCF Member!!!
 
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This egg salad sounds interesting.....
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Old 08-22-2011, 11:48 AM   #148
Way too much time on my hands!
 
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Egg salad- chop up 2 hard boiled eggs, mayo, mustard, horseradish and olives, eat out of bowl, yummy!!!!
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Old 08-22-2011, 02:02 PM   #149
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ceecee08 View Post
Yea my dad was a major screw up in my life... I really wanted him to be there but he couldn't stay off the addicitons that were overpowering his life. That is why I am so emotional with all men I have ever had a relationship with and James is the only one that really understands everything I have ever been through. Enough thread jacking... I am so proud of you Danielle. For being over issues with your mom. I tried but it is hard to get over it. Jillian's book sounds interesting... might have to look into it.
How did I ever miss this!! Cassidy, it's been really really hard lemme tell ya. At the same time when I start to really think about things, I've not ever really had a "mom". I never had that mom that I could go to for anything and know that she would understand or be sympathetic. never had it, and now at almost 42, I barely am getting that I won't ever have it. Well, my therapist tells me that I've always know this and that is why I have had to become incredibly strong inside even when I don't feel I am. But, under all the circumstances I've been faced with from abuse from a family friend, to the simple fact that they never truly wanted to parent me, I have done what I've had to to survive. My saving grace; knowing that I did not push my childhood onto my children! Both my husband and I had horrid childhoods and both of us stayed conscious of never to incorporate that into our parenting. Our kids are amazing and the shining lights of my life!

You will know when you are done taking their bs Cassidy. Or anybody's for that matter!! You have to take care of you, cause there is nobody in this whole wide world who will ever take care of you as good as you can!!
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Old 08-22-2011, 03:56 PM   #150
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I swear if I didn't know any better, Ashton Kutcher was hiding somewhere in my neighborhood getting ready to jump out of a bush and tell me I've been punked. It has been a day from you-know-where what was possible to go wrong, has gone wrong.

- first day back to school and I'm out of coffee......how in the world did i miss this!

-the toilet decides to freak out and the lil flushy thing breaks. Then my sink decides it's gonna be clogged

-i'm in the shower, someone's pounding on the door...by the time i get to the door whoever it was is gone..turns out it was UPS with my book for my Business English class with an assignment that I have due in 2 days so now I gotta go fetch it tomorrow

-just as i'm pulling my food out of the oven, i burn myself and proceed to drop it all over my kitchen floor

-as i'm trying to clean up the mess (HOT mess mind you) off the floor, DD17 is calling asking to come home cause she doesn't feel good..so the mom taxi has to go into action

I am sitting down, I'm not moving, and seriously debating whether I'm actually gonna make dinner or if we're eating out cause frankly, I'm terrified to think what else could go wrong!

It has been a day for sure. I am exhausted, frustrated, and ready for a nap!
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