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-   -   ~~ Mama's Me Time ~~ Finding the skinny me (http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/bbs/weight-loss-journals/724385-mamas-me-time-finding-skinny-me.html)

mama_2_3 06-09-2011 09:14 PM

~~ Mama's Me Time ~~ Finding the skinny me
Where to begin? As a kid, I was always thick. Not fat, or even overweight, but thick. But I saw myself as fat, and I guess that's when my weight gain started. I have two sisters, both of whom are younger and trim, one of which was really skinny. By default, that made me the "fat sister".

I was an emotional eater and I didn't know how to eat. Honestly, I thought if a food fell into one of the four food groups, it was good for me...and I could stretch that. (ie/ ice cream is dairy and chips are potatoes. How could they be bad for you?)

It's no suprise that by the end of high school I had become severely overweight, almost obese. A year later, I met my husband, to whom I will be eternally grateful. He has always thought I was sexy, and loves me even when the scale doesn't.

We spent the first few years of our marriage working opposite shifts and trying to get pregnant. I was lonely, bored, and horribly depressed b/c I wanted a baby so bad it hurt. And so I ate...

In 2004, I jumped on the Atkin wagon for a few months. I lost about 40 lbs and felt amazing....but was derailed by the death of a family member. Thinking back, Atkins was probably what helped me get pregnant.

After 4 yrs of marriage, we were blessed with a healthy son, followed by a girl, then another boy. And believe me, I used pregnancy as a free ticket to eat anything and everything I wanted. I'd have the baby, lose another 10lbs or so, then start the cycle again.

I've spent the last 5 years focused solely on my kids and finally something clicked. I don't want them to have the body issues I've had my whole life. I've always fed them really well (only whole grains, fresh fruit & veggies), why not lead by example? (I'd buy tons of crap food, and eat it as soon as they were asleep!)

And so....March 2011 at 29 yrs old and 222 lbs, I decided to do LC again. For good. I started on Atkins induction, and haven't looked back. I've had small cheats, but only for one day, then right back to this WOE.

My 30th birthday is this fall, and my gift to myself will be to finally be comfortable in the body God gave me. I don't expect to look like a supermodel (though that would be nice!), I just want to look healthy.

mama_2_3 06-09-2011 09:28 PM

Today I weighed in at 197.5. Onederland was a huge accomplishment - I haven't seen numbers this low since before I had kids :D

On the encouragement of another LCF member, I started Couch to 5k. I'm now about to finish week 6 (25min) and I am so proud of myself! I was horribly unathletic as a kid, and learned quickly to avoid any and all physical activities. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy them, I just hated always being the worst player on the field. With C25K, I'm only competing with myself, and I beat myself every week! lol

I think all this running may be slowing down my weight loss (I've been straddling 198 since May 15th), but it's worth it. I'm not sure I've ever felt this sense of accomplishment, plus I really notice a change in my legs- way more toned :D

Low Carb Librarian 06-10-2011 12:13 AM

You will make super model yet! Good job!

mama_2_3 06-10-2011 10:02 AM

Yesterday was good overall. I ate well, drank my water and went for a 6k walk/run. <----That was hard. I was supposed to do two 10min running intervals with a 3min walk in between. Mistake #1- I chose a new (much longer) route and went out of town. I went around one country block which is about 4k total. The roads were awful - badly sloped with virtually no curbs and full of potholes. It was also out in the open so the wind was a huge factor. The first 10 min went well, but when I got to the second interval, I only lasted about 2 min. I was so mad at myself. I did another 3 min, then 5 once I finally got back into town. So I still did 20min, but it was really stretched out. Mistake #2 was going at 4pm- traffic was higher than usual, and it was way too hot (though not as hot as it has been the last few days).

I was so disappointed in myself, but I have to look at the bright side- that was my longest route- it was hard, I did my best and I will do better next time! (I will also go on a cool, still day!)

I think today will be another running day. It is much cooler today and a bit rainy - perfect weather. My next few days will be (gulp) 25min straight. I know I can do it, I just have to get my timing right.

As a side note, this morning I ran into an old friend I haven't seen in a few months. She actually said "Boy you're getting skinny!" LOL I've never been called skinny in my life! Now, no stranger on the street would think I was even close, and I know she's comparing me to my old weight, but man, it felt good! :D Thanks for the modivation Lori!

mama_2_3 06-10-2011 03:56 PM

Ok, I did it! I ran 25 min without stopping! :kicking: It was nice and cool, and it rained lightly through most of my run. After yesterday's trek I was exhausted and felt as though I had been beat up. After finishing today I feel energized and refreshed (after showering anyway). I'm so proud of myself :o

mama_2_3 06-12-2011 08:19 PM

1 Attachment(s)
Today we had my oldest son's 5th birthday party. It went really well, and he was in complete awe of the cake. (As he should be...it only took 2 days!) There was much icing-to-mouth in the making of said cake. :rolleyes:

Attachment 38669

Obviously it was a Star Wars theme. Looking at the pictures that were taken, I noticed this is the first time I can recall that I wasn't disgusted with every. single. one. (of me, anyway). I actually looked at one of just my arm, and I thought there must be some kind of optical illusion going on because my arm isn't possibly that slim! :hyst:

All our guests were gone by 8:30, and it was a nice cool evening, so I went for another run. I'm not sure how long I ran, but I think it was around 25-30 min! It was about 3.5k, and I walked another 1/2k, for a total of 4k. Hopefully I burned off all that cake!

I expect the scale to be up again tomorrow. I didn't eat too poorly, but we had smokies & hot dogs for dinner, and I had two hamburger patties for lunch, plus a piece of cake & ice cream. I've been drinking tons of water, so hopefully that will keep the pounds at bay.

Bejewelme 06-13-2011 06:19 AM

Mama- OMG I love your story, I am so happy you were blessed with all these kids after trying so hard!!!! The cake is super!!! You are still young and you are going to be the super model!!! You are going to be the skinny sister and the one in great shape from all this running!! You are my hero with this running!!!!


mama_2_3 06-13-2011 06:52 AM

:o Awww, thanks Amber. You're my hero!

mama_2_3 06-13-2011 08:04 PM

I can't say I had any major victories today. I ate on plan all day, then in a moment of weakness ate another piece of that d### cake :annoyed: I swear, I could have a guest appearance on Sesame Street as the cake monster. Obviously making a white sprinkle cake did nothing to keep me at bay.

I was also a bit annoyed (and a bit happy) to find that the jeans I bought last month are already in need of a belt, and that I should have bought my new workout pants in a smaller size. I didn't think 25 lbs would have made such a difference.

mama_2_3 06-14-2011 07:23 PM

Soooo....no change in weight today, but I'm thankful it wasn't a gain. The cake is now in the garbage, and I have my self control back.

Today was a run day - I did the nice country trail by my Mom & Dad's, but the only time I could go was around noon. It didn't go well. :annoyed: I did 10 minutes, then had to walk for a bit. I ran about 30 min total, but had to walk quite a bit in between stretches. It took me about 45 min total to do 5k. The trail I do is awesome - really narrow right along the lake, but still completely shaded. The problem is about half of the loop is a gravel road that's totally out in the open. I can't seem to do more than 10 min straight on that road.

I probably won't run again until Friday. Tomorrow should be a day off, and we're planning a trip to the zoo on Thurs. Depending on the weather, I may go tomorrow night.

Bejewelme 06-14-2011 07:24 PM

Mama- so proud of you!!! I did the 3 minute run tonight, 9 minutes total man this old broad was heaving, 3 minutes was a big jump from 90 seconds, everything hurts tonight!! You are my running hero!!!! I found a race in Sept I gotta be ready for it!!!

mama_2_3 06-14-2011 07:27 PM

Thanks :blush: I remember that 3 min being hard. I'm so proud of you! I wish we lived closer - I'd totally run that race with you!

Bejewelme 06-15-2011 05:48 AM

Hey Mama!!! How are you today? Tonight is gym, my legs feel a little better today I think tomorrow night I am going to the track near my house and try running on that, versus the concrete, TOny thinks that might be easier on my legs, at least try that second workout there, and see how I do!

mama_2_3 06-16-2011 06:08 AM

Sorry I missed you yesterday, Amber.

Yesterday was my son's birthday, so we had a stawberry shortcake for him to blow out the candles. I ate a tiny piece and ice cream, then went for a run to burn it off. I'm up 1/2 lb, so I don't think it worked very well.

My run sucked- I had to do intervals again, but I only put about 2min of walking in between 15, 6 & 5 min intervals. I was dead by the time I made it home. I don't think my ankles can take two heavy running days in a row. I may try some insoles to help reduce the impact.

I'm also pre-TOM, so extremely irritable, cravings, and always hungry and exhausted. :stars: This TOM stuff is complete crap. I have two good weeks, then two weeks of h3ll (one PMS and one TOM) and gain it all back! How is a woman supposed to lose weight here???

On a positive note, we're taking the kids to the zoo tomorrow (was supposed to be today, but it's raining). I'll pack a picnic with lots of LC goodies, and the walking around will be my exercise for the day :up:

Bejewelme 06-16-2011 06:21 AM

I am sure it a temporary gain, do you notice if you take a day off exercise that you lose more? I swear with the gym and running I think it makes your muscles hold water, I agree TOM is a PIA!!! I am not suppose to get a period as I have an IUD well ever since I started LC I have had random bleeding, spotting,etc so I never know when I am going to get it, it sucks!!!SO I cant blame it on anything!!! LOL

Zoo sounds fun, the strawberries will come off, have a fun day!!!!!!!

mama_2_3 06-19-2011 01:31 PM

Scale is mean again today, but with TOM I wouldn't expect otherwise. The zoo was fun. It was a little local one, almost like a glorified petting zoo, but you can feed most of the animals (actually hand fruit loops to the monkeys) and they have a huge playground for the kids complete with trampolines & zipcords. I actually wore shorts :eek: for the first time in years! I felt so....exposed! LOL No-one pointed or laughed, so I guess it wasn't as horrifying as I thought.

I stayed LC aside from a few choc chip cookies...the really yummy chewy bakery kind....yummmm. I haven't been running since Wed - I think I pulled something on Tues, and am taking a break for the weekend. Back to c25k week 7 tomorrow :D

Amber I agree that heavy exercise makes your muscles retain water- kinda counter-productive, itsn't it?

Bejewelme 06-19-2011 01:40 PM

Mama- I am down to 219 this morning!! Stokked beyond words!
Running was workout 3 of week 3 no way I can move on so I think this the one to repeat, I was hammered last night had a big spin class in the morning and it was hot!!!! B-day party I only had 2 little bites of cake, OMG I wanted it you and me both are cake monsters I cant resist a baked good, LOL Cookies the same!! LOL

That zoo sounds fun!!! Yeah on the shorts, I am sure with all that running no one pointed and starred, LOL You are crazy!!!

mama_2_3 06-19-2011 07:21 PM

Woohoo on the 219! You've been working your A$$ off (lierarally!) You deserve it!

Sooo....I just finished a 30 min run. I'm not sure I'm gonna be able to walk tomorrow, but I did it! We went to my mom & dad's for dinner & didn't get back till after dark, but it was nice & cool, so I thought WTH....and went to the track. The last time I ran there I could only go 1 lap without stopping. Today, I did NINE!!! :kicking: For a total of 3.6 km, so my speed needs work, but who cares???

Another woohoo today - I saw my Uncle, who I only see every few months, and he was blown away by how much weight I've lost! I don't think 25 lbs is much at all, but I've had many people tell me how great I look. Will I ever see what everyone else sees?

As for my legs, I'm only 5'3 and they're thick & stumpy. Sure running is toning them, but the muscles are still hidden under layers of fat :annoyed: I'm going to see how much running helps between now & the fall, then will prob try the 30 day shred in the winter months.

Bejewelme 06-20-2011 08:27 AM

Mama- when you are short, you notice weight gain and loss much easier, so I am not surprised that every one is starting to notice, it took me til around 40 I think being taller.

Gosh 9 laps, that is impressive, I run really slow, I am just trying to get a pace that I can keep going and go with the flow!!!!

So proud of you, the Shred is an awesome workout, it really reshapes your bod

txcharisma 06-21-2011 11:45 AM

Mama_2_3.. 25 lbs is alot, you should be proud!! (and I totally understand the feeling.. I have a hard time seeing what others see/tell me)

mama_2_3 06-21-2011 12:57 PM

Today is running day - I didn't get a chance to go until late this am, and it was HUMID!!! I had a killer headache, and the humidity literally made it difficult to breathe - I only made it 5 min today :annoyed: Thankfully this is Brian's last week of afternoons - I prefer to run in the evening. I'm amazed with how much the weather affects me.

I've decided it's time to get some decent pics taken of myself :eek: It's a bit late for before pics, but I finally got around to taking some "during pics" that I'll share- when I lose enough to see a difference. :)
I prefer to be behind the camera, but I know I need some for our albums. Plus, looking for an avatar picture was impossible since I have a habit of deleting any pics of me before they can be saved.

mama_2_3 06-22-2011 04:14 PM

Today, with DH working afternoons, my mom and I took the kids to Chuck e Cheese's - you know, "where a kid can be a kid" LOL. They had an awesome time, and each earned a whopping 50 tickets - enough for a single serving of pop rocks :rofl:

I had a nice salad for lunch and thought that would hold me off until I got home. Nope. I was starving and had three pieces of pizza! To be fair, I *could* have had the salad bar, but it was pretty sad, and if I had it, my kids would want it, and my mom was paying, blah, blah. Now, I feel as though I've blown all my hard work and will gain 20 lbs tonight. LOL I know it won't be that bad, but it really makes me mad when I'm in a situation like this and don't control myself. :annoyed:

Add that to the fact that I got a counterfeit bill as change today, didn't notice, and had to go through the embarassment of having another store reject it, and I think I'm going to scream! :cry: I plan to take it back to the original store - I don't expect them to reimburse me, but they need to be aware of what they're giving out.

Okay, I'm done complaining. Off to drink a TON of water :D

Bejewelme 06-22-2011 05:00 PM

Mama- the splurges happen to the best of us, move on and forget it!!! I did my run tonight in the 90 degree weather and I agree it is a killer but it was getting late, I just got home and had to do it, I was really proud I did it!!! Yes pics we need pics!!! THen se can ohh and ahhh and tell you how fabulous you are doing!!!!!

Phranquie 06-22-2011 05:03 PM

Kristyn - As long as the pizza did not derail you and you are right back on plan I think you'll be OK. Dink lots of water and be super clean with eating the next few days and any weight gain in the next day or two will be gone soon.

mama_2_3 06-22-2011 08:15 PM

Thanks for the encouragement ladies. I'm still working on water- I'm at 112 so far...I can't get over how such a small amount of food (it was three really small slices!) can make such a big impact. My calories are over 2000 for the day, and the pizza alone was over 100 carbs! :eek:
I guess I'll have to wait and see what the morning brings.

Amber- Wow, running in 90 degrees- awesome! You should be proud :clap: I love that feeling I get after I break my own record - it's what keeps me going.

Tomorrow should be a running day- not sure when I'll get to go. DH is still on afternoons (Have I mentioned how much I hate afternoons???) AND he has an appointment in the morning. If I'm lucky, I'll be able to squeeze it in as long as it's not too hot. Also, mayflies (aka: fishflies) have arrived, and they're gross! I don't know if they show up anywhere else, but if you don't have them, be thankful! I don't intend to be outside much for the next week or so, until they go away. I may have to resort to running back and forth in the house! LOL

mama_2_3 06-23-2011 08:42 AM

After my last post, I had a bowl of ice cream too. I figured, I feel like crap anyway, I've been wanting ice cream for a while, and it's not going to make that much difference. I'm only up .9 lbs today, so I'm sure it's just water. I'm through worrying about it. Now for today...

I went for my run this morning while DH was getting ready for his appointment. This time I did 10 min before I had to stop with a sore ankle/calf. I don't get it - Sunday I did 30 min no prob. and haven't been able to repeat it. I guess I'll have to try the track again.

Bejewelme 06-23-2011 09:29 AM

If it is hot it is the heat too, it is just brutal here, tha tis why I couldnt belive last night I got through it, are you eating a few carbs like an hour before you run? You really need to look at adding some I think, for one it wil help with the cramps too, and give you the energy you need, you wont gain as long as you are running it off right away! But not ummm pizza and ice cream, LOL

mama_2_3 06-27-2011 03:51 PM

I've been really stuggling this last week. TOM has come and (finally) gone. I've been completely exhusted, making running difficult, which brings me down more. The scale isn't moving, and I'm having trouble turning down desserts. It's easy when I know I'll have the satisfaction of a new low the next day, but I'm not getting it and starting to feel like what's the point?

Anyway, I'm back on track starting today. A few days ago I started taking a multi-vitamin with iron in the hope that my fatigue was from TOM induced anemia. So far, it seems to be helping. I went for a 25 min run last night, and a bike ride with DH before that. I'm tired again today, so I'm taking it easy with exercise and concentrating on food instead. So far so good...

Bejewelme 06-28-2011 08:43 AM

It is easy to get discouraged when you are not seeing the numbers as you want them, but it will get better, and you have to look at everything you are eating and doing to try to get it moving again!!! The running will sure help!!!! DOnt throw in the towel, that is when everything gets ugly just keep on doing!!

mama_2_3 06-28-2011 07:25 PM

I feel like myself today!!!!

I had a really busy day, and instead of dropping dead at 8pm, I feel energized. I visited my cousin & her kids this morning, then did a 30 min workout with cardio/strength intervals, then babysat another 1.5 yr old (in addition to my own). His mom picked him up early tonight, so I went for a run too. I did 3.5 km in 25 min. The last 10 was really hard as I was running against the wind, so I'm happy I finished.

Eating was good today too, carbs were just above 30, but calories were under 1300. I'm not sure why I'm not hungry, but I'll take it :D I love the feeling of having to eat to get my calories up! I really hope all this exercise will show on the scale soon.

Still not sure what my problem was, but it seems to be gone. I'm back to feeling great - I have energy to spare, and I can feel my body getting stronger more defined. DH actually noticed my bum getting firmer lol.

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