Writermom's next chapter

[writermom]

Thanks, Amber. I just needed to get that all out. It's hard to talk to anyone about it because the kids are always around and I can't vent to people in front of them. And you are totally right about them loving her in spite of what a piece of s*** she is. They are so torn about their feelings for her. It's just so sad.

On the bright side, I took a long walk today. Last night I went to a BBQ and resisted all the bad stuff. Had a cheeseburger with no bun, salad and a small piece of watermelon. God, that melon tasted so good! One thing I love about lc is how I rarely want sweets but when I have something like a little fruit it is just enough to satisfy.

I'm 180.1 today. My lowest weight in several weeks!

[Bejewelme]

Well Laura that is super a new low, I think you need to see that with all that is going on! OMG I had a new low and was does hog head here do? Eats smores! 187 carbs today! LOL I have been eating melon and pineapple, so carby but I lost but today was so bad and tomorrow is a party, ughghg I gotta get a grip!!!!

[glamazon]

Oh, Laura, that is just so sad! I am so sorry! Thankfully you are there for them, they will remember your motherly kindness for their entire lives. Please try to get some professional help for them and yourself--it can really help.

Have a fresh new day and I hope it will be stress-free!

[janetsbreeze]

Laura I am so sorry about your stepson's mother. Thank goodness he has you

[writermom]

Well, time for another report from Crazy Town, population: everyone but me. Now my husband's ex's current husband is trying to tell us that "this is all a misunderstanding" and "she's just having problems with her meds." Oh please!! I've been hearing this crap for 10 years! She relapses, blames it on something or someone, and then gets clean and comes home acting like nothing ever happened. Just admit you are a drug addict who messes up everyone's life whenever you feel like it and leave it at that.

I know full well that no one comes here to read my rants and I am sorry about that. I just need to get it out.

[deep breath] So, I walked again this morning even though the humidity was horrible. It's a good stress reliever for me and gets me ready to face the day at work. I'm having alot of trouble concentrating at work the last few days. Gee, I wonder why?

My weight today is 181.4, which isn't bad considering I had Dreamfield's for dinner last night and didn't measure it and then had a tiny sliver of carrot cake when DD had a birthday party for her rabbit. She made up a game of pin the tale on the bunny (not the actual bunny) and party hats with pictures of carrots on them.

Now for the part where my week gets even worse: DD sprained her ankle at camp. We went for X-rays but it's not broken. That's a relief, but she can't put any weight on it so she has to stay out of camp for a while. I will have to work something out with my mother or sister to come here and watch her while I work. It's always something!

[piratewoman]

Laura I am here. I am so sorry you're having to go this, I wish I could tell you it will get better but facts are with a druggy it will probably get worse. so hang in there.

Your steps are so fortunate to have you to raise them.

I'm glad your DD didn't injure herself any worse than she did.

[Bejewelme]

Oh Laura- I am right here with you with the step scenario, I agree this woman is a PIA, and thinks she can do whatever she wants and use her habit and meds as an excuse! BS!

Sorry about your daughter, thank goodness it isnt broken I am sure she is bummed she cant go to camp!!!!

I had 2 pages of step rants, LOL

[glamazon]

Hi Laura! Just dropping in to give you a hug. You can rant all you like! I don't mind.

[writermom]

Laura, Amber and Ang--thank you!

I'm feeling a bit more positive today. It's just so hard because I feel bad for my stepkids and for my husband, but then there's me and my daughter, and we have a right to a normal life.

Poor DD had a bad night with her ankle. She was in alot of pain and was uncomfortable having to sleep on her back with her leg elevated. Now she's mad that she can't go to camp. Luckily we went to the library the other day and she has a good supply of her Junie B. Jones books that she loves so I think today will be a good day for her to just read and chill. I've got a box of ice pops for her too, if she's good.

[writermom]

Hi all!
Things have been super crazy lately with DD and her sprained ankle and the drama still going on with my stepsons and their mother. DD is doing better but the ankle is still stiff and it's hard to tell a 6-year old not to run or jump but she's being a real trooper about it. My stepsons got letter from their mom that she sent from rehab. Personally, I don't think that should be allowed but I'm not a doctor and I don't know how these things work. I just know they were upset and crying again.

Here's my favorite thing I read today: "Don't compare yourself to anyone else. You are your own." I love that. It's keeping me inspired today!

[janetsbreeze]

here is a for you Laura!

[Bejewelme]

Laura- you got a lot on your plate right now, it will get better, I feel so bad for all the kids what a way to spend their summer vacations, your daughter down with her ankle and they boys upset about their Mom, what a tard she is!!!!

[writermom]

Thanks Janet and Amber! I'm keeping my head up and just doing my thing. I walked this morning and even though it's hot as hell out, it felt good. My blood pressure is still down but my weight is up. Sticking with my plan though and hoping for the best.

[Bejewelme]

Be kind to yourself---- things will calm down at some point, it is hard with all those things going on!!!!

[glamazon]

Sticking to your plan IS the best! You're a good person, Laura, everything will get sorted out eventually. Just keep keepin' on.

Have a nice day!

[writermom]

Aw, thanks Ang! :blush:

I did 20 minutes on the elliptical this morning. I've decided this is going to be my summer of not being a slug. Walking or elliptical every day, no excuses. Somehow, that is very empowering right now. I only wish I looked as good as Amber in my workout clothes.

[janetsbreeze]

Laura, great job on sticking to your plan and working out! You still need to take care of you

[glamazon]

Go, Laura! Proud of you!

[Bejewelme]

Laura- I have been doing the gym 6.5 months it catches up trust me, just keep at it, it is empowering I got to the point where I was going to show that thing who was boss!!! LOL I like the exercise for stress relief like it takes so much focusing on that I cant think about the other crap and then I am in a better mood!!! Keep at it you got a lot going on right now!!! Things will get better they always do!!!!
hugs
Amber

[writermom]

Good morning all!

I had a 3-day weekend and really am not in the mood for work.

On Friday I took my oldest stepson on a college tour. It went well and we had some good long talks in the car on the way there and home again. He's a good kid but he's so torn about his feelings for his mother. He told me she's been calling him and leaving hysterical crying messages begging him to talk to her. Poor kid. I can't imagine what it must be like for him. We are considering getting a restraining order to keep Crazy A** from calling him but we don't know yet if we can even do that or whether it's the best thing for him.

I'm going to the doctor this week to get my thyroid checked again. More ridiculous weight gain is going on just like last summer. Something is definitely off and it's not my plan or my exercise. My mother had thyroid cancer so I always worry when I have a huge unexplained gain.

We're expecting a heat wave this week so I am planning on mostly elliptical and some weights for the next few days instead of my walk. DH is going to show me how to use his kettlebell weights. He's been using them for a few months and has gotten really buff. He was always such a traditional barbell guy, but he's in love with his kettle bells now.

I've stalled enough I guess, back to work.

[janetsbreeze]

Laura have a great day!

[writermom]

Just popping in for a quick hello.

I did 22 minutes on the elliptical this morning and then ate my giant mound of egg whites. I'm very full, but happy.

Guess what? I put some shorts on this morning and I am swimming in the waist. Oh yeah! I'm wearing them all day anyway so I can enjoy the extremely rare feeling of my pants falling down.

Happy Thursday!

[Bejewelme]

Go Laura!!
I wrote you a big response the other day and now I cant find it? Hum!

Anyway I was saying your poor SS dealing with that flakey Mom, good grief what kind of mother does that to a kid?

Kettleball- do some things with hubby, that is a great workout and you will really tone up!!!

Yeah for swimming in shorts, there is no better feeling than pulling your pants up all day!! LOL

Stay cool!!!

[writermom]

Happy Monday!

I had a real workout weekend. Did my new leg program every day plus the elliptical on Saturday and then again today. I promised myself that this would be my summer of not being a slug and since I put it down here in the journal I feel obligated to keep it up.

Anyone on or near the East Coast knows how god-awful hot it's been, but the humidity is supposed to drop this week and I'm looking forward to getting back to my morning walk. I miss my audiobooks! When I do the elliptical I prefer music, but walking is all about my audiobooks. No one at home will ever leave me alone long enough to listen to them.

I had a good food weekend, too. As of today I'm down 3 pounds from last Monday on my new program, which involves more carbs and fewer calories. I came to the conclusion that I was eating too many calories and fat and it just wasn't working for me. I'm still low carb, but it's more moderate. Even with eating fruit and yogurt last week I still managed to lose, so hopefully I've turned a corner here.

I also spent a few hours in the pool with DD this weekend and did some water aerobic-type stuff in there too. DD just overcame her fear of the diving board about a week ago and now she is doing cannonballs and all kinds of crazy things, most of which involve her singing some kind of song before she jumps off.

That's it for me. Have a great day!

[Bejewelme]

Laura- yeah on the 3 pounds and you are moving girl!!!!

I have determined the following, if eating VLC you need fat, it you want moderate carbs you have to watch the fat, its like one or the other. I think long term the moderate carbs are better, and carbs from fruit and FF dairy is not like eating donuts!

So proud of you for the exercise you are really trying!!! I am glad you are seeing results!!!!

[janetsbreeze]

Laura - great job on the too big shorts! That's the best feeling ever!

[writermom]

It's hump day. Actually, not so bad though. I did 25:30 on the elliptical today!! I really want to get back up to 40 minutes, which is what I was doing two years ago.

Last night I had to go to a meeting so I made some Dreamfield's spaghetti with broccoli and shrimp before I went. Well, I came home and DH is standing there in the kitchen telling me how he keeps trying to put the leftovers in the fridge but they're so good he can't stop eating it. Ha! This is the same person who told me he hated Dreamfield's because it was sticky and slimy.

Tonight we are taking DD and my nephew to the Fireman's fair. The weather is finally nice again so it should be a fun night!

[writermom]

OMG, I am working on the most boring project at work today. I've been trying to finish it since Tuesday and just can't get motivated. The stupid thing is, I volunteered to do this one because I thought it would be interesting. :Sigh:

The fair was fun last night. The kids had a really good time on the rides. We bumped into alot of people we knew, including a girl from DD's class who came sliding down the funhouse slide right after her and they didn't even notice each other! Kids are so bizarre sometimes. I guess they are so wrapped up in their own little world they only see what they are focused on at that moment. DD and my nephew both ended up winning these big obnoxius horns that they kept playing in the car all the way home.

I didn't exercise this morning so I will probably do elliptical at lunch. Really trying to keep my exercise momentum going this week.

[Bejewelme]

Laura- well that must mean DD ankle is better if she was having fun at the fair! Keep on moving, you need to see a new decade next week, you have been hard at this!!!!

[glamazon]

Hi Laura!

I am so proud of you getting in that exercise, and liking it! I've had a week off from being sick, so I have to start all over again-- but the good news is that I'm going to start all over again!

My son is currently taking a diving class-- off the diving board type-- it's fun! And also, I've noticed that there isn't a kid alive who can do a cannonball without yelling "CANNONBALL" while they are doing it!