Mariah's Low Carb Journey

[Mad4Chillas]

So defintely struggling but trying to get back on track. Didnt have a great Doctors appointment unfortunately, when you're being treated for an eating disorder and a plethora of other issues losing 15 pounds within a month and a half isnt necessarily a good thing. So my doctor was 'worried', hes a relatively new doctor to me so its hard for me to talk to him. However, he does have me on some prescriptions at the moment, and since I told him I was struggling with binging and purging he upped my prozac prescription and actually suggested I go into an 'inpatient' program. I was shocked. I dont actually think I am in that bad of a position to be in a facility and monitored....really brought my perspective into a clearer view. Other than that though my blood pressure was back to normal as well as my pulse. Just bummed I got the news on an inpatient program and an up on my prescriptions

I havent called back the referral facility yet as I am unsure on what Id like to do but I am mildy considering the option, however, I would feel best with an outpatient program.

Well after going off the rails completely on my long weekend (food wise: hello fast food, Chinese, pizza, and pasta ), not even my 75 minute professional massage (which was wonderful btw) could help relieve all my stress and anxiety. So my long weekend eeked into today pretty badly and my waist line and morale are suffering.

But tomorrow (and I really mean it this time) I am going to try my damnedest to start fresh and clean up my binging and purging ways. Its just no way to live, and I really really don't want to do an inpatient program, just freaks me out that it was even suggested to me...

I'm still aiming for weight loss as that is my goal but I am going to go at it by LCing instead of binging and purging (which is funny because I NEVER lose when I binge and purge, usually just bounce around). So back to LC. Going to be a little restrictive this week as I need to get some water weight off, and I need to be in a swim suit by June 1st, but I am going to try and be more in tune with my body and its needs.

I know that I binge and purge in order to fill an emptiness I have that I am sure is attributed to mental and emotional stress/drama in my life, but I just need to learn to cope better. Unfortunately after 8 years of having an eating disorder and low self-esteem, its a hard habit to break. I have started reading a book called 'Healing Your Hungry Heart' so I hope it gives me a little more intuition and perspective on recovery, I keep telling myself that I will always have an eating disorder and that I'll never truly recover, but now Im not sure if I say that because its safe or because I know how hard it would be to actually overcome it.

I have a lot of thinking to do in the next few days, weeks, and months, and Im hoping I might have an epiphany somewhere along that timeline, but who knows....

Food was awful from Friday until Today, so its not worth posting. Going back to what I know best, Meat & Egging. Hopefully it will peel these pounds off before the bachelorette party weekend for one of my friends, I do not want to look or feel fat in the dress Im going to wear. Yuck.

Thanks for listening

[ChristineCQ]

I'm sorry, Mariah. I have no advice, but just know that I'm wishing you much peace and supporting you from afar.

[kittycitygirl]

Same here Hun. No experience with what you are dealing with...I just binged........

Know we are here and have unconditional love for you.

[Mad4Chillas]

Originally Posted by ChristineCQ

I'm sorry, Mariah. I have no advice, but just know that I'm wishing you much peace and supporting you from afar.

Originally Posted by kittycitygirl

Same here Hun. No experience with what you are dealing with...I just binged........

Know we are here and have unconditional love for you.

Thank you ladies, Im not really looking for advice, just venting. Your support and kindness means the world to me, really.

[Mad4Chillas]

Day 1 Binge/Purge Free.

Heres my food:

Breakfast (10:30am)
-1 Egg White Protein Shake (12 Oz. SF Coconut Milk + 1 Scoop Egg White PP)
-2 Cups Coffee W-2 Tbsp. SF Creamer
Lunch (2:30pm)
-1 Egg White Protein Shake (4 Oz. SF Coconut Milk + 8 Oz. SF Almond Milk + 1 Scoop Egg White PP)
-20 Oz. Diet Coke
Dinner (6:30pm):
-3 Eggs Scrambled W-1 Tbsp. Smart Balance, 1/2 Tsp. Pepper, 1 Tbsp. Cheddar
-2 Slices Bacon
-40 Oz. Water

~10g Net Carbs

Going to bring my scale home and my blender bottle and egg white PP to keep myself accountable this weekend. Hope it works.

[ChristineCQ]

Good luck, Mariah. Day by day, minute by minute when necessary!!! Do you have a plan for when you feel the urge? Is there someway to help you redirect?

I hope these questions aren't offensive; I don't have much knowledge of what you're going through, so I don't know if these techniques would even be relevant.

I just went through a really interesting seminar on brain development as it relates to habits/addiction/wellness, etc. I learned a lot about reinforcement: Habits are learned and maintained through reinforcement, which is not the same thing as pleasure. Reinforcement involves the immediate state of well-being, which is the reinforcement (in other words, having the urge to do something -- drink, smoke, eat carbs, binge, etc. -- puts the brain in a "bad" state. Filling that need by smoking, drinking, etc. moves the brain into a "less bad" state, which is why it's so hard to fight the urge). Your brain totally works against you because it's always looking just 10 minutes ahead and considering how to make things less bad for itself.

Anyway, willpower isn't enough to fight those urges, unfortunately. I see that very behavior in myself: An inability to fight the urges for sugar! It's frustrating and can even be dangerous in certain situations.

Ok, sorry for the tangent. I hope you're doing ok.

[Mad4Chillas]

Day 2 Binge/Purge Free

Breakfast (10:00am)
-1 Egg White Protein Shake (1 Scoop Egg White PP + 12 Oz. Almond Milk + Ice)
-2 Cups Coffee W-2 Tbsp. SF Creamer
Lunch (2:15pm)
-4 Dark Dove Chocolates W-Almond
-1 Tbsp. Slivered Almonds
-1 Diet Coke
Dinner (7:00pm)
-1 Egg White Protein Shake (1 Scoop Egg White PP + 12 Oz. Almond Milk)
-2 Servings Olive Oil & Sea Salt Almonds
-40 Oz. Powerade Zero

Totals = 899kcals, 58g (26%) protein, 59.3g (60%) fat, 32.2g (14%) Carbs, 12.9g Fiber, 19.3g (8.5%) net carbs, 1357mg sodium.

Ate more almonds that I probably should have, but I am feeling good with the fact that I haven't binged/purged today.

[ChristineCQ]

Two days in a row.....good job!

I read somewhere that craving almonds means that you're lacking some vitamin.....I can't remember what, though. Magnesium, I think. Do you ever take supplements? I don't, but I hear that people have good luck with them.

[kittycitygirl]

2 good days!

I agree on trying magnesium sups

[Mad4Chillas]

Day 3 Binge/Purge Free & Now On Day 4 (Being with the BF sure does help)


Yesterdays food was alright not the best, but I ate out and went to a BBQ so I feel like I made good decisions. Just trying for staying full and content without overdoing it and not feel deprived, so far so good. Also, weight is coming off, slowly but surely


Food Yesterday:

B:
-1/4 Cup Olive Oil & Sea Salt Almonds
-12 Oz. Powerade Zero
L (went to cheesecake factory with friends )
-6 Oz. Grilled Salmon
-1/2 Cup Steamed Broccoli W-Butter
-2 Diet Cokes
*Skipped the bread basket, did not taste any food that was offered, scouted the menu before I went and picked the lowest carb lunch offering, AND no cheesecake--not even the low carb kind, I think I did good
D (BBQ at Bfs House):
-1 Italian Sausage W-1 Tbsp Ketchup & 1 Tbsp. Mustard
-5 Black Olives
-5 Strawberries
-1 Diet Dr. Pepper
S (Drinks with Friends):
-1 Vodka Collins
-1 Piece Celery W-Blue Cheese
*Skipped out on fried Chicken Wings and Fries

Forgot the calories but I know my carbs were around 20. So yay, and weight was down this morning despite only a few hours of sleep.

Will check back in later with food for today, back to egging tomorrow until Friday. 155 please

Thanks for the love and support ladies, I couldn't do this without you

[Mad4Chillas]

Day 4 Complete.


Snack (11:0am)
-1 Serving Olive Oil & Sea Salt Almonds
-12 Oz. Powerade Zero
Lunch (1:30pm)
-1 Avocado & Bacon Omelet
-4 Slices Bacon
-1/4 Cup Cantaloupe
-2 Diet Cokes
Dinner (9:00pm)
-1 Grilled Chicken Breast W-1 Tbsp. Blue Cheese
-5 Black Olives
-3 Dill Pickle Slices
-5 Strawberries
-1 Piece Dark Chocolate
-1 Diet Coke

Totals= 1,310kcals, 98g (27%) protein, 93.2g (2%) fat, 28.5g (8%) carbs, 6.4g fiber, 22g (7%) net carbs, 2,450mg sodium

[ChristineCQ]

Slow and steady is great.

[Mad4Chillas]

A little gain today but I thought that might be expected, nothing to big. Day 5 complete, going for a week now..

Brunch (12:30pm)
-1 Ham & Cheese Omelet
-1 Diet Dr. Pepper
Dinner (4:30pm)
-1 Piece Grilled Chicken Breast W-1 Tbsp. Mustard
-1 Slice Pepper Jack Cheese
-3 Dill Pickles
-12 Oz. Crystal Light
Snack (7:00pm)
-1 Chocolate Covered Macadamia Nut
-1 Piece Dark Chocolate
-1 Tbsp. Trail Mix
-1 Diet Coke

Totals= 755kcals, 62g (30%) protein, 47.1g (55%) fat, 23.7g (12%) carbs, 19.4g (10.3%) net carbs, 1453mg sodium.

Going to try Egg Fasting until Friday, starting tomorrow.

[kittycitygirl]

You're doing great! Keep at it! Slow and steady gets ya there!

[ChristineCQ]

Mmmmmm macadamia!

[Mad4Chillas]

Starting over again tomorrow, had a minor slip up tonight but nothing I can do about it now except move on. Also have a gynecologist appointment in the morning, ish--so not really looking forward to being weighed either, but oh well. I dont think I'll ever enjoy getting weighed in public even if I ever make it to my GW.

I did keep some food down today including an Egg White Protein Shake, 1 Ham & Cheese Omelet, Cashews, & some Trail Mix.

That Trail Mix is a killer....cant portion control, I should learn to stay away.

Also played with my new food dehydrator today and am making some dried blueberries and strawberries that should be done around midnight, them Im going to make some Turkey Jerky. Yum

[ChristineCQ]

[kittycitygirl]

I hate weighing at other places...always up! Prob bc I'm fully dressed! I think they'd frown on us stripping down for it

[Mad4Chillas]

Just got back from a fantastic bachelorette weekend in Chicago, waistline is suffering, but it was worth the fun. Now I have 2 weeks until the next wedding where I need to fit into a bridesmaid, so its time to hit VLC for a while

Heres a picture of me and the Bride-to-Be before we went out Saturday night

[ChristineCQ]

You look fabulous! Glad you had a great time!

[kittycitygirl]

I agree! You look great!

[ChristineCQ]

Hope you're doing well, Mariah!

[Mad4Chillas]

Doing alright here, forgot my scale at home so Im just trying to keep LC for right now

[kittycitygirl]

That a girl!

[Mad4Chillas]

Back from a Hiatus, returning to LC. Been cheating a lot lately so Im going back to induction instead of fasts. Hope it helps to keep me on track! Hope everyone is well.

2 Weddings down 1 to go!

Here is a picture of me at the latest wedding (I hated my hair!) I am in the middle.

[ChristineCQ]

Forget the hair, look at those shoes! They're darling! (but your hair does look good!)

Welcome back!! You look wonderful!

[Mad4Chillas]

Originally Posted by ChristineCQ

Forget the hair, look at those shoes! They're darling! (but your hair does look good!)

Welcome back!! You look wonderful!

Thanks, they were super painful lol!

[Mad4Chillas]

Weight unknown

Induction Day #1

Brunch (11:45am)
-1 Jimmy Dean Ham & Cheese Omelet
-2 Slices Bacon
-2 Cups Coffee W-1 Tbsp. SF Raspberry Syrup & 2 Tbsp. SF Vanilla Creamer
Snack (2:00pm)
-1 String Cheese
-1 Danon Carb Control Yogurt
-8 Oz. Powerade Zero
Dinner (6:30pm)
-1 Serving Eggplant Hash
-1 Carb Smart Ice Cream Bar
-1 Diet Coke

Totals= 880kcals, 52g (23%) protein, 62g (62%) fat, 32g (14%) Carbs, 9g Fiber, 23g (10%) net carbs, 1488mg Sodium

[kittycitygirl]

Love the pic, hair, dress, and shoes...ouch!

[Mad4Chillas]

Weight-Lower than Yesterday

Day 2 Induction Style

Breakfast (10:00am)
-1 Serving Chocolate Raspberry Chia Pudding
-2 Cups Coffee W-2 Tbsp. SF Vanilla Creamer & 1 Tbsp. SF Raspberry Creamer
Lunch (12:30pm)
-Turkey Chef Salad (2 Cups Romaine, 1/2 Avocado, 1/2 Cucumber, 2 Tbsp. Shredded Cheddar, 2 Oz. Turkey Breast, 2 Tbsp. Ranch Dressing)
-24 Oz. Diet Coke
Snack (4:30pm)
-1 String Cheese
Dinner (5:45pm)
-1 Serving Eggplant Hash
-16 Oz. Powerade Zero
-2 Metamucil Pills & Vitamins

Totals= 942kcals, 45.6 (19%) protein, 64.7g (62%) fat, 44.5g (19%) carbs, 21g fiber, 23.5g (9%) net carbs, 1564mg sodium