Rayne's Circle of Calm

[LoCarbGal]

I know you'll be glad to get that all done and over, and get settled into your new, comfortable home! Yeah, I wouldn't be worrying about JUDDD during this time either. It'll all come back when you're settled. Glad to hear from you. Good luck through all this movin'! Hey, at least you can say you're getting your workouts in. I think moving is one of the most strenuous workouts I've ever done!

[Rayne_W]

So...getting settled has taken way longer than I anticipated. After a week of eating junk, my feet are enormous, I feel like I'm lugging 50 pounds of lead, and my mentation is extremely fuzzy.

Tomorrow is DD Monday, come heck or high water!!

And the house? We're all in love with it.

[LoCarbGal]

So glad you love the new house! That's going to make you all a lot happier family.

I'm sure getting back on the JUDDD swing will get you feeling better soon. Are you finding it tough to get back to it, or is it a relief?

Good luck, and feel better!

[Rayne_W]

Originally Posted by LoCarbGal

So glad you love the new house! That's going to make you all a lot happier family.

I'm sure getting back on the JUDDD swing will get you feeling better soon. Are you finding it tough to get back to it, or is it a relief?

Good luck, and feel better!

It's proving to be almost impossible, actually. My kitchen is still in limbo until I get a new storage rack (today, possibly?) and a small island. It's the one room of the house that is much too small for our needs. In the old house, I had a 6-foot by 6-foot metal rack in the adjacent laundry room that housed all of my pots and pans, a smaller rack that held bottled water, diet soda, and some canned goods, and an in-kitchen pantry where I kept dry goods, canned goods, spices, and tea. This kitchen has new cabinets, but there aren't many, and they're all quite small. For now, they're just enough to hold our glasses, coffee mugs, and place settings. On top of it, the counter space is just enough for the microwave and coffee maker.

The old racks will not fit in the spaces we have available...so that's where a new, smaller rack and a new island (both meeting very specific dimensions) becomes essential.

So, confession time: yesterday went from a DD...to a MD...and then an UD (which is exactly what's been happening throughout Feb). My willpower is shot -- every suggestion by DH or DD (last night it was 'just try this new brown rice Triscuit') sends me over the top.

When we moved 2 years ago, it was a used stove needing weeks of cleaning and scraping that sent me flying off plan (and from the board entirely).

I am SO ANGRY WITH MYSELF.

[LoCarbGal]

No no, don't be angry at yourself! This is a really stressful time, and having an out-of-sorts kitchen makes eating on plan really tough. You just need to get back to a routine, and settle in, and you'll be ready again. I don't have any doubt. Be nice to yourself. Maybe try only 1 or 2 DDs a week during this time, and I'll bet you'll get back to normal rotations soon.

Hang in there, and don't stay away from the boards! We'll prop you up!

[Rayne_W]

Originally Posted by LoCarbGal

No no, don't be angry at yourself! This is a really stressful time, and having an out-of-sorts kitchen makes eating on plan really tough. You just need to get back to a routine, and settle in, and you'll be ready again. I don't have any doubt. Be nice to yourself. Maybe try only 1 or 2 DDs a week during this time, and I'll bet you'll get back to normal rotations soon.

Hang in there, and don't stay away from the boards! We'll prop you up!

Thank you

I managed a high-end DD yesterday (650 cals), which is a huge accomplishment.

Morning weigh-in: 233.4.

Considering all the stress, sodium, and off-plan eating, I'm really thankful it wasn't worse.

[Rayne_W]

Drive-By Weigh-In

3/9 233.4 UD
***
3/16 DNW DD
3/17 DNW UD
3/18 233.4 DD

SO GLAD to be back on rotations!!

[Rayne_W]

Drive-By Weigh-In

3/16 DNW DD
3/17 DNW UD
3/18 233.4 DD
3/19 232.4 UD

[LoCarbGal]

Glad to see you back! And glad that means you're pretty much settled into your new home. And the scale is going down! Good job!

[Rayne_W]

Originally Posted by LoCarbGal

Glad to see you back! And glad that means you're pretty much settled into your new home. And the scale is going down! Good job!

Thank you!

Even though it was a bit nerve-racking going 6 weeks off JUDDD, at least I had the presence of mind to realize it would be nearly impossible with the state of the kitchen the way it was. I played hooky from work for a few hours last week so DH and I could race to IKEA to pick up two of the tables that have been recently discontinued...it was their final shipment, so it was now or never lol. DH's friend had a table saw and was able to trim 5" off each end of one of the table tops so it could reside in the kitchen as much-needed extra storage and COUNTER SPACE, which I am completely lacking. Even with the need for the trim, this was the ONLY table that would fit the room and our budget.

Once that was assembled -- and the rest of the boxes removed from the dining room (our moving helpers dropped the ball a bit) -- I could finally begin to find and put away boxes and boxes of kitchenwares and food. Whew.

Still to do: assemble the second sideboard/occasional table in the dining room, reassemble the dining room table, put away the last box of pantry items (if I can find room), and organizing the numerous closets in the house. I'm so accustomed to squeezing too much stuff in too little space...now my scenario is reversed!

Lots to be thankful for, and it was a very long time coming. I go in for my pre-employment drug test tomorrow -- and still waiting for the background check results to come in -- for that job I had thought was 'lost'. Turns out one of my current coworkers is also trying to get hired there, so it would be wonderful to have a friend and ally on the same team again. If if if I get it, I get to travel to Louisville by car for a 4-day orientation and training session...

...and I do believe they'd be putting me up at an über swanky hotel. So fancy that I'm already worried I'd stand out like a sore thumb, probably mistaken for someone who just got lost in the lobby.

I've been working from home for so long I'm truly not used to being out in public, especially anywhere I would consider 'nice'. Yes, my self-esteem is essentially evaporated.

Now, just watch, I've probably jinxed myself.

[LoCarbGal]

No way, no jinxing! You've got this one nailed! And you'll be poised, and relaxed, and beautiful. I just know it! What do they say, "fake it 'til you make it"? Just pretend to feel confident, and it'll show in your demeaner.

I'm so happy for you that things are working themselves out, and glad to have one of my favorite JBs back!

[Rayne_W]

Originally Posted by LoCarbGal

No way, no jinxing! You've got this one nailed! And you'll be poised, and relaxed, and beautiful. I just know it! What do they say, "fake it 'til you make it"? Just pretend to feel confident, and it'll show in your demeaner.

Yikes, I'll try!

I'm so happy for you that things are working themselves out, and glad to have one of my favorite JBs back!

Ty, that is so sweet!

[Rayne_W]

Drive-By Weigh-In

3/16 DNW DD
3/17 DNW UD
3/18 233.4 DD
3/19 232.4 UD
3/20 DNW DD
3/21 232.4 UD

[Rayne_W]

Drive-By Weigh-In

3/16 DNW DD
3/17 DNW UD
3/18 233.4 DD
3/19 232.4 UD
3/20 DNW DD
3/21 232.4 UD
3/22 232.4 DD

Well at least it's not going up LOL.

It's mid-afternoon, all I've had so far is part of a cup of tea. Really, really, really need to drink more fluids. Just found out I passed the background check (wooot!!), now we're waiting on the UA.

Have (contingent) offer letter, non-compete agreement, and confidentiality agreements in hand as we speak.

I think I'm still struggling to accept that I really did land a (hopefully) better job and so quickly. I know there are so many people who have looked for extended periods of time with little to no success. I feel for you!

Found a new appetite suppressant: nervousness about telling the boss I'm leaving. Idk why, but it always makes me feel like a traitor. Won't do it until I get the 'all clear' on the UA and am 100% positive this is actually happening. Don't want a repeat of the last time I tried to leave (and wound up having to ask for my job back).

[DesertGurl]

You & I are hovering around the same place Glad to hear about the new job prospect..keep walking in faith, it really is going to happen!!!

[Rayne_W]

Thanks, Danielle!

So, I've been sticking to my rotations...but haven't remembered to weigh. Doh! I've been a ball of nerves waiting for all the preliminaries to be finished (and contemplating my exit strategy). At last, both the background check and UA are over and done, and I have the formal offer letter in hand, which I'll be signing before bed tonight.

Took me all day, but I finally managed to send off my resignation email/2-week notice to my two bosses (the old one and the new one). Short and sweet. I'll be giving my nerves a well-needed break by taking almost a week off between the two positions.

Found out my current coworker has also gotten an offer but is still pending the two preliminaries. She called me, quite inebriated as it happened, and actually admitted that, during her own interview, she had told the new employer not to give me "her" job if there had only been one position.

Okayyyy....

Oh well, I guess I don't blame her for fighting for the position, and I'm still rather flattered how much she praised my work to them (she's had me consult on many difficult cases of hers for the last 4 years).

So, back to JUDDD..............it's now 11:45pm, and I just realized I've gone the entire day without eating ANYTHING. The bad part? I haven't drank almost anything, only one mug of tea and part of a diet Coke.

Yikes.

[Rayne_W]

Drive-By Weigh-In

3/16 DNW DD
3/17 DNW UD
3/18 233.4 DD
3/19 232.4 UD
3/20 DNW DD
3/21 232.4 UD
3/22 232.4 DD
3/23 DNW UD
3/24 DNW UD
3/25 DNW DD
3/26 230.2 UD

[Phranquie]

Rayne, looks like you are doing good even with all the stress of the new/old job and settling into the new house. That is a feat in itself! Congrats on the new position and I hope you enjoy your upcoming week off.

[Rayne_W]

Originally Posted by Phranquie

Rayne, looks like you are doing good even with all the stress of the new/old job and settling into the new house. That is a feat in itself! Congrats on the new position and I hope you enjoy your upcoming week off.

Thank you It has certainly been an experience!

Drive-By Weigh-In

3/16 DNW DD
3/17 DNW UD
3/18 233.4 DD
3/19 232.4 UD
3/20 DNW DD
3/21 232.4 UD
3/22 232.4 DD
3/23 DNW UD
3/24 DNW UD
3/25 DNW DD
3/26 230.2 UD
3/27 DNW DD/semi spud day (til they began to make me sick)
3/28 230.4 UD

Idk what it is about potatoes, but I just seem to have major problems with my IBS if I indulge like I did yesterday. Really enjoyed the mini Yukons I boiled, then mashed a bit and ate with some salsa. Unfortunately, my insides have been rebelling for almost 24 hours straight. So much for shaking things up. All it seemed to do was set off a lot of inflammation (something every GI specialist states is 'impossible' with IBS flares, since it isn't an inflammatory condition like Crohns or Ulcerative Colitis, both of which have been ruled out for me). Every flare is the same: spike a fever, bloat, severe nausea, severe cramps, and a GI tract going 120 mph.

So.....no more spuds for a while.

Not sure if I'm certifiably insane (probably am lol), but tonight's dinner is slated to be Cacio e Pepe, a pasta dish that is both simple (my version has butter, salt, crushed pepper, red pepper flakes, pressed garlic, and Romano cheese) and heavy on the fats. Main reason it's on the menu is due to its fairly high calorie count (it's an UD), but I'll probably go easy on my portion of it and eat a bit more roasted brussels sprouts (tossed with sea salt, pepper, olive oil, and parmesan, with a little fresh lemon once they're out of the oven).

Very happy my kitchen is essentially put together now so I can finally cook.

[Phranquie]

Your dinner last night sounded yummy, I hope it was as good as it sounds. Looks like the old potato is not your friend. I am sorry you are having such problems from your IBS with eating them. I am guessing the potato hack is out for you unless you need a complete clean out of your GI system. On those days you want more, have you thought about eating beans and lentils and other legumes? Will they cause a flare up too? I get cravings for hummus and Key Tones wrote that hummus is also good like the potato hack.

I hope you have a great weekend and get a chance to really enjoy cooking in your fixed up kitchen.

[Rayne_W]

Originally Posted by Phranquie

Your dinner last night sounded yummy, I hope it was as good as it sounds.

We wound up having Cincinnati chili on spaghetti w/shredded cheddar, an unusual dish that I've grown very fond of since moving here. Cincy chili is beanless and spiced in an almost Greek/Mediterranean way. Love it.

Looks like the old potato is not your friend. I am sorry you are having such problems from your IBS with eating them. I am guessing the potato hack is out for you unless you need a complete clean out of your GI system. On those days you want more, have you thought about eating beans and lentils and other legumes? Will they cause a flare up too? I get cravings for hummus and Key Tones wrote that hummus is also good like the potato hack.

I hope you have a great weekend and get a chance to really enjoy cooking in your fixed up kitchen.

In the 22 yrs I've had IBS, there has never been a clear list of sure-fire causes of flares for me. Sometimes, beans, lentils, and legumes are friendly...and sometimes they're hell. I never have any way of knowing beforehand what food will be a trigger, or when.

At its worst (first 8 years), even plain white rice or a few saltines were enough to lay me out...but not all the time. Over these two decades, food and I have developed a rather tenuous relationship. I love it, but every meal is potentially the cause of a great deal of pain.

If I could point to a single factor that makes working from home such a blessing, it would indeed be IBS. When I worked in hospitals (and even when I was in college), IBS caused an appalling amount of absenteeism, and my work record truly reflected that. Since working from home, my employment has been solid as a rock.

I can do what I need to do without humiliation in public, take appropriate meds without needing to drive anywhere (very sedating), and wear clothes as baggy as necessary. Such was not the case before.

I'm slightly worried about the upcoming 4-day training/orientation session in a few weeks. I'll be lugging my portable pharmacy along for the trip.

[Rayne_W]

No work for this last week at my job, save one big NICU chart, probably the last newborn I will code for the forseeable future (new job entails longterm acute care cases, such as longterm ventilation and postop care). Thirteen days of relaxation ahead of me, ample time to buy a few clothing items for the trip, work on more unpacked boxes, and general cleaning.

I will miss the moms and baby cases.

Today is an UD, and I will enjoy the calm.

[Phranquie]

Wow, you have really been through a lot with the IBS. I hope that your trip goes well and that for those few days you'll be able to avoid anything that might cause a flare up. When you get there you might want to talk to the person in charge of the training session and let them know there might be an slight issue. I think the trainer would then be accepting if you had to be gone any amount of time.and they'll know you are not out on a smoke break.

Enjoy the time off and the clothes shopping!

[Rayne_W]

My daughter, sister, mother, and father all have IBS in various forms and degrees; however, none have been as severe as mine. My mother's is a very close second, but for whatever reason she has never sought help and a medication regimen from a GI specialist like I have.

Drive-By Weigh-In

3/16 DNW DD
3/17 DNW UD
3/18 233.4 DD
3/19 232.4 UD
3/20 DNW DD
3/21 232.4 UD
3/22 232.4 DD
3/23 DNW UD
3/24 DNW UD
3/25 DNW DD
3/26 230.2 UD
3/27 DNW DD/semi spud day (til they began to make me sick)
3/28 230.4 UD
3/29 to
4/3 DNW due to TOM
4/4 229.4 DD <<and this was after a ravenous TOM consisting of 5 days of MD's and UD's!

New decade!

[LoCarbGal]

New decade and new low - wonderful!

[Phranquie]

Way to go on getting into the 20's!!!!!

[Rayne_W]

^^Thank you!! Even if it was just for a day, it was wonderful seeing that number.

*********
I'm in job limbo. Also in money limbo.

As some of you know, I have no bank account. I managed to get paid from my recently departed job by getting a prepaid debit card, which acted like a checking account.

It got hacked and robbed a few days ago, to the tune of $942.

Great. Card reported stolen, new card on its way. Looks like one of two identical charges was reversed (yay!), no idea when/if the other one will follow suit. Whoever did this was pretty gutsy, two online purchases to Walmart in two days. I hate these things, since non-bank affiliated prepaid cards are not FDIC-insured.

As for the job, turns out my week in Louisville next week is on hold. Some huge convention happening, and all hotels are booked to capacity. They offered to have me stay some 10 miles away, but I'd have to pay out of pocket and be reimbursed. "You can use your charge card..."

Sorry, that's impossible, I told her...and refused to provide any information other than "I'm broke".

Hoping they don't pull the job offer.

*********
Drive-By Weigh-In

3/16 DNW DD
3/17 DNW UD
3/18 233.4 DD
3/19 232.4 UD
3/20 DNW DD
3/21 232.4 UD
3/22 232.4 DD
3/23 DNW UD
3/24 DNW UD
3/25 DNW DD
3/26 230.2 UD
3/27 DNW DD/semi spud day (til they began to make me sick)
3/28 230.4 UD
3/29 to
4/3 DNW due to TOM
4/4 229.4 DD <<and this was after a ravenous TOM consisting of 5 days of MD's and UD's!
4/5 DNW UD
4/6 DNW DD <<and a bad/high one, at that
4/7 230.0 UD
4/8 DNW DD

Had to share my highlight from yesterday's UD - my first attempt at Pasta Carbonara, and I didn't scramble the eggs in the process! It was one of the best pasta dishes I've ever had. Simply amazing.

[LoCarbGal]

Rayne, I'm so sorry about the hassles you are experiencing. Wow, I don't know why people do the things they do. So often it seems like they are spending as much time and energy stealing as they would be doing something productive and not destructive to someone else/the economy/taxpayers/etc.

I'm sure you'll get through this training and be back to work soon. They saw how valuable you are to them, they're not going to let you get away. Just be sure and keep showing them a positive attitude and don't let them see how frustrating this is.

That carbonara looks gooooooood! I try to stay away from pasta, but you're tempting me!

[Phranquie]

Wow, that completely bites that someone stole from you and it is creating problems with your new job. I hope that thief comes to know the suffering he has caused to the people he steals from. I do hope the new job will be understanding of your situation and work something out for you.

The pasta looks great!