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JK130 03-16-2011 06:15 AM

Looking Up
 
minute 1, hour 1, day 1...and weight 141, an 11 pound gain

i have got to get my head back in this game. i can't give up.

i can't give up.

i won't give up. i need to look up. need to get my mojo back.

starting again is really rough. i have to be ready. i'm not ready. i must care. i don't care...

i'm just hanging on...and trying to look up

j

ravenrose 03-16-2011 08:27 AM

poor baby *hug* good luck! think of all of us rooting for you when you reach for the wrong stuff. don't do it!

DesertGurl 03-16-2011 08:44 AM

Jan, you CAN do this. Look at how far you have come girlfriend!!!! One minute, one day, however you need to look at it til you get going again, its all good. :up: Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep on rollin! You got this!!!!!!!! :high5:

jeaniem 03-16-2011 02:14 PM

Thinking about you sweetie!:hugs:

JK130 03-16-2011 09:36 PM

oh boy! friends to chat with! Yay! :hiya:Jeanie! i appreciate your cheering for me! Oh Danielle, do you know that I read all of your posts? Inspiring you are!

my dear Ms. Ravenrose, you are an lcf guru and i thank you for your encouraging words! ...sometimes, i get tired.

i will be looking up. i am looking up! in the big picture, my weight gain is not important...except it is to me. it really bothers me when i start to not care.

i have tried so many things in the last year and a half, but have not journaled feelings/emotions/events or activities...because i'm pretty boring and whiny:rofl::rofl:

for a few minutes in late December i weighed a comfortably slim 126. i stayed at 128-130 for awhile. i increased exercise in january. it felt really good.

then, i started adding a treat here and there. i got lazy with the exercise. i had a binge...or two.:o:o:o gained a pound or two. blah. blah. blah.

i dropped out of most of my lcf conversations. gained another pound or three.

this morning it was more than 10 pounds:doh::doh: and my blood sugar number is creeping up.

i can't go back to fat and sick. so, time to make some changes.

see, boring, huh? (this is hard for me to write.) maybe someone else will be interested in my struggle with maintaining goal weight. maybe. but i want to try this strategy of emotional writing that others have reported as helpful. i intend to ramble and rant and fuss and ...do whatever it takes to get myself back in this game!

so, end goal one more time? i am aiming for a healthy, active, toned 128-132 pounds...with exercise...and a good dose of humor along the way:up:

goal behaviors coming soon :heart: Jan

JK130 03-17-2011 06:33 AM

week 1 day 2
weight: 138.8
calories: 385
exercise: 0 :mad:

i'm not as grouchy about restarting as i was yesterday:laugh: last night i learned some massage type strategies from an ot to help my sweet wild boy grandson. it was fascinating but not strenuous. iit did keep me out late...and away from food. i've got everything i need to exercise today.

DesertGurl 03-17-2011 08:54 AM

Jan, you do whatever you wanna do in this journal. I promise you no one is going to find you boring in the slightest. The best part about this whole thing, you stopped it in its tracks before it got too big. Seriously? Woman, you weigh 138 pounds!! You have come SO far and have MUCH to be proud of! YOU did this! This is your learning time to figure out how to maintain and deal with it. You'll do it, I know it! :hugs:

How's the weather there? Still counting down the days (years) til we move back. :love:

JK130 03-17-2011 07:24 PM

not hungry...and really really want to eat. ummmm yah. sucks. day 2 of "back on plan" is tough (ask me how i know:rofl:) what helps me get through the mouth hungries is adding extra protein. i know that day 3 will be hard too...sigh. and i know that i lost best on chicken/fish and plain salad. oh my...more boring!

another thing that helps is reading lcf. (shout out to jeanie and stacy and bwya and tada and kitty and christine and blonde and danielle...and so many others who have encouraged and inspired me)

confession...i have read lcf WHILE eating a bag of chocolate chips...

JK130 03-17-2011 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DesertGurl (Post 14480171)
The best part about this whole thing, you stopped it in its tracks before it got too big. How's the weather there? Still counting down the days (years) til we move back. :love:

:hiya: your comments help. so much! i CAN lose 10 pounds. the alternative is
predictable and awful in the health and wellness arena.

i HAVE lost a lot. i AM awesomely active at 59. (talking to self is weird :hyst: i'm committed to try it tho)

weather is lovely. as always. i am so blessed to live in a beautiful climate. come on back!

JK130 03-18-2011 06:26 AM

week 1 day 3
weight: 138.4
calories: ~900
exercise: 30 min

i'm going to continue weighing daily and, at least for awhile, record and publish daily weight. if anyone wants to be a weight tracking buddy...just chime in! come on...it will be fun to whine and cheer together:love:

i'm avoiding measuring...but plan to get to it this weekend. i lost all of my weight loss charts wirh a computer crash, but should have my old hand written records somewhere, so i can compare measurements.

tgif. and i mean that in THE most sincere way. TGIF.:heart::heart:

DesertGurl 03-18-2011 08:17 AM

The mouth hungries SUCK!! :annoyed: Had 'em last night for no good reason than my head playing games with me.

LOL eating your chocolate chips while on lcf is like me eating a bag of chips or oreos while watching the Biggest Loser! :p Seriously, I dunno what compells me to feel like eating when I watch that show! Maybe my subconscious feels badly for those people in fear that they are starving? :D

You ARE AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :up: Glad we can agree on something!! :love:

TGIF nooooooooo kiddin. It's been a week from you know where for me and so glad it's over!

Keep on keepin on Jan, you're doing it!!!

hazelgreen 03-18-2011 10:25 AM

jkaay, this seems a good time to say how much I appreciated your encouragement when I restarted a few months ago. So now I want to offer my encouragement to YOU!! :hugs:

jeaniem 03-18-2011 02:21 PM

Glad to see you are doing better Jan. One day at a time,and before you know it you have strung together many days and find yourself right back at your goal. :up:

My confession: I have eaten peanut m&m's while reading LCF:blush:

JK130 03-18-2011 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jeaniem (Post 14484195)
Glad to see you are doing better Jan. One day at a time,and before you know it you have strung together many days and find yourself right back at your goal. :up:

My confession: I have eaten peanut m&m's while reading LCF:blush:

That's funny about the m and m's Jeanie!

As you know it's not an actual scale number that bothers me as much as having that number creep up...and having a "don't care" attitude about it. Thanks for your confidence. We have so much in common:high5: How is your journey going these days?

jeaniem 03-18-2011 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jkaay (Post 14484563)
That's funny about the m and m's Jeanie!

As you know it's not an actual scale number that bothers me as much as having that number creep up...and having a "don't care" attitude about it. Thanks for your confidence. We have so much in common:high5: How is your journey going these days?

Attitude is much better these days. Remember the snoring issue? When I want to overeat or binge, I think about how quickly I will be chasing hubby out of the bedroom:laugh: I am losing very slooowly but it beats gaining! It still amazes me that just a few pounds of regain have really changed my waist/stomach measurement considerably.

Plans with your favorite boys this weekend?

JK130 03-18-2011 05:37 PM

[QUOTE=DesertGurl;14483185]The mouth hungries SUCK!! :annoyed: Had 'em last night for no good reason than my head playing games with me.

LOL eating your chocolate chips while on lcf is like me eating a bag of chips or oreos while watching the Biggest Loser! :p Seriously, I dunno what compells me to feel like eating when I watch that show! Maybe my subconscious feels badly for those people in fear that they are starving? :D
QUOTE]

i had some oreos not too long ago:o and they didn't even taste that good. maybe i should try again:rofl: nooooooo....! i do get cravings tho, and end up eating the same foods over and over to try to avoid the cookies and cakes that i want. lately i've been taking l-glutamine and i think it helps with real hunger. the mouth hunger IS a demon tho...and i've been out of control several times lately. i'm sorry it's getting you too. how are you fighting it? don't you think it's exhausting? here's to hoping and :aprayer: that we'll both beat it!!!! and soon, please.

thinking of your strong self tonight ,Danielle:heart:

JK130 03-18-2011 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jeaniem (Post 14484580)
Attitude is much better these days. Remember the snoring issue? When I want to overeat or binge, I think about how quickly I will be chasing hubby out of the bedroom:laugh: I am losing very slooowly but it beats gaining! It still amazes me that just a few pounds of regain have really changed my waist/stomach measurement considerably.

Plans with your favorite boys this weekend?

yah, i'm not looking forward to slipping that tape measure around my waist.:down: the poochie tummy is not attractive. i have a bunch of extra skin, but i think that not enough specific exercise has contributed greatly to the pooch.

i don't care if i snore:hyst::hyst: so that doesn't motivate me to step away from the cereal. and, my dear, losing at all, is just right. there are no rules that you have to follow...and i hate, hate, hate that stoopid "slow and steady" phrase! you ARE doing it correctly, Jeanie...cause you are in losing mode. i'm going to be there soon.

i'm going to keep saying that until i believe it!

JK130 03-18-2011 06:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hazelgreen (Post 14483550)
jkaay, this seems a good time to say how much I appreciated your encouragement when I restarted a few months ago. So now I want to offer my encouragement to YOU!! :hugs:

Another new friend!!! Hooray! Come visit me any time :hugs: Your encouragement means a lot...a lot to me. This dieting thing takes so much energy for me. I always read the threads of the people who say it's easy...they just gotta be telling a whole buncha fibs!!! Are you one of THEM?:hyst::hyst::hyst: Cause if you are, you better start sharin!

Again, thanks for adding to my motivation.:heart: Jan

JK130 03-19-2011 07:17 AM

week 1 day 4
weight: 137.
calories: ~1000
exercise: 0

i was aiming for a very low calorie day...and didn't make it. i do want to incorporate calorie cycling.

i had some white knuckle moments - AFTER bedtime - the kind where i was looking in the fridge...and munched a lc little bit. dang! it's all good tho. i did stay low. i made it through day 3 with a loss!

day 3 done. woohoo! i love, love, love saturday mornings. so much promise!

DesertGurl 03-19-2011 09:14 AM

Yes, I find the whole ordeal exhausting. I think that's why I get into trouble because I get SO tired of the mental aspect of weight loss, period. I hate that this has to be my struggle, I hate that food is my issue because there is no way to avoid it KWIM? Don't get me wrong, I am forever thankful I'm not addicted to drugs or anything, but man, could there be anything crueler than no escape from the one thing that is your nemesis! :annoyed:

I used to take the L-Glutamine a long time ago and I think it did help. Glad it seems to be working for you. I eat when I am stressed and for anxiety. This past year and a half has been chalk-full of both and I struggle with it alot. I am determined though that I will not eat thru it this time and use food only for fuel to keep me going. Must find another outlet somewhere! And do not mention the E word or I will have to hurt you. :laugh: ..... I know I know.... exercise is a must.... :annoyed::annoyed:

jeaniem 03-19-2011 11:28 AM

Nice job on the loss Jan:high5: I wouldn't worry about last nights munchie,provided it was low carb of course;)


I am back up the 1lb again:annoyed: I knew it the moment I woke up I felt the water retention and the yucky overly warm feeling I have from time to time.
Oh well I know I am doing all I can,so patience is the word of the day.

DesertGurl 03-20-2011 10:14 AM

Morning Jan, hope you're enjoying those boys of yours!!! :)

JK130 03-20-2011 05:34 PM

week 1 day 5
weight: 138. adult beverages were involved :-)
calories: ?
exercise: 0

oh my goodness. the weekend is almost gone. we took the boys to a science musuem in san francisco today. indoor total fun. outside rain.

i am soooooo behind in every single chore...they are LINED up...and it's a very long line.

i was making memories. very important.

JK130 03-21-2011 05:09 AM

week 1 day 6
weight: 138.
calories: 1200
exercise: 0

on plan but up wayyyy too early...to chip away at that "to do" list. i'm cold. it's dark. i don't wanna go to work. the scale is not showing me any love. seriously...i was on the move the entire weekend...an explosion of activity. and the chubs are still hanging around! begone! when i was younger, poor sleep led easily to a weight loss. now, i notice the opposite. bloated. swollen. weird.

oh yes! coffee! things are looking up! and, spring break is coming soon:heart:

MagieDen 03-21-2011 05:29 AM

:hugs:

JK130 03-21-2011 05:34 AM

hey Maggie! how's things? got anything interesting on your agenda today?

thank you for the hugs! i'm holding them tight and off for a busy day:love:

JK130 03-22-2011 06:39 AM

139

Day 1 again

jeaniem 03-22-2011 04:08 PM

:hugs: You know I've been there.

JK130 03-22-2011 04:21 PM

yep, Jeanie. YOU can do this losing weight thing. I CAN do it too!

We ARE going to conquer overeating.

then... we'll sell our strategies, and be rich and famous :rofl:

it's amazing how much of a lift an online friend can provide...thank you friend, it was so nice to read your note today.:heart:

ChristineCQ 03-22-2011 04:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jkaay (Post 14479056)
oh boy! friends to chat with! Yay! :hiya:Jeanie! i appreciate your cheering for me! Oh Danielle, do you know that I read all of your posts? Inspiring you are!

my dear Ms. Ravenrose, you are an lcf guru and i thank you for your encouraging words! ...sometimes, i get tired.

i will be looking up. i am looking up! in the big picture, my weight gain is not important...except it is to me. it really bothers me when i start to not care.

i have tried so many things in the last year and a half, but have not journaled feelings/emotions/events or activities...because i'm pretty boring and whiny:rofl::rofl:

for a few minutes in late December i weighed a comfortably slim 126. i stayed at 128-130 for awhile. i increased exercise in january. it felt really good.

then, i started adding a treat here and there. i got lazy with the exercise. i had a binge...or two.:o:o:o gained a pound or two. blah. blah. blah.

i dropped out of most of my lcf conversations. gained another pound or three.

this morning it was more than 10 pounds:doh::doh: and my blood sugar number is creeping up.

i can't go back to fat and sick. so, time to make some changes.

see, boring, huh? (this is hard for me to write.) maybe someone else will be interested in my struggle with maintaining goal weight. maybe. but i want to try this strategy of emotional writing that others have reported as helpful. i intend to ramble and rant and fuss and ...do whatever it takes to get myself back in this game!

so, end goal one more time? i am aiming for a healthy, active, toned 128-132 pounds...with exercise...and a good dose of humor along the way:up:

goal behaviors coming soon :heart: Jan

OMG!!!!!!!! How did I miss this???????? :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: I'm so sorry I didn't find this sooner! :blush::blush:

I'm glad you started keeping a journal, Jan! It's your space for that rumbling, ranting, and whatever.......and we're here to support you no matter what you're struggling with.

You will be successful, I know it! :high5:


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