Looking Up

[MagieDen]

Originally Posted by jkaay

hey Maggie! how's things? got anything interesting on your agenda today?

thank you for the hugs! i'm holding them tight and off for a busy day

Hey Jan My puter' was acting up something fierce yesterday and I was just able to get on today to respond to you.

Things are okay, struggle, win, struggle, win, you know the drill! At the moment I believe I am winning(I sound like Charlie Sheen ) have my head in the game and working it.

I don't ususally do challenges because I am a slow loser and lose at my own pace and not at the pace of others but I am in this for the Summer. I hope to be under 200 lbs before the start of Summer so we shall see

I am glad that you are journaling your thoughts and I hope it helps. It is a nice place to come and just be yourself.

Jan, you are always so supportive of others and others will always support you. Have a wonderful day and keep working it!

[JK130]

03.22 139 Day 1...again
03.23 138.4 maybe some fluid issues

it's dark, cold and rainy and i'm feeling icky/achy/not good sleep...alas, going back to bed is not an option.

BUT, three more days until vacation for me! i've been too overwhelmed to plan anything yet. i know i'll have some time to think, and want to respond to some of the thoughtful comments you all have shared here.

[jeaniem]

No need to respond relax your brain and typing fingers. Just wanted to let you know that for someone I only know on-line,you were in my thoughts a lot today.

[JK130]

03.22 139 Day 1...again
03.23 138.4 maybe some fluid issues
03.24 137.6 not a loss of fat (tmi)

hey Jeanie, your support is incredibly valued. you keep standing in the way of me quitting!

i had some good news yesterday at work, that may lead to much better times for me ahead. if it happens, you'll be the first to know

[Blonde with a Rose]

Hey! It's my LC friend Jan! Thank you for the link. Reading through the first page, I feel so in touch with you and what you're going through. Support is the most important aspect of weight loss (imho) and this is the place for it. If it were not for you and some other wonderful LC friends I would have gone away by now.

I completely understand the "giving up" aspect of weight loss. We struggle and we fall and after so many times falling we don't want to feel like failures, or losers or weak of character. So we tell ourselves it doesn't matter, we're doomed to fail, so why try at all? This is my favorite quote of the moment:

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. ~Confucius

This is so true. DH's granny said "A can't never could". I'm not just spouting platitudes, here, what I'm saying is, I'm so proud of you for not giving up on YOU. Ten pounds can be as daunting as 100 to lose from the perspective of each person in need of it. I know you can do this.

I think calorie cycling is a great idea. I like the premise that your body is tricked into thinking that all is well, and your metabolism doesn't take a beating.

I also want to thank you for the support and encouragement you gave me regarding going to the gym. I appreciate you so much and I couldn't mean it more if you were sitting across the table from me, (having coffee and a nice omelet).
Blonde~

[Princessdmw33]

I just wanted to drop in to say ! I didn't know that you had a journal and am so glad to have found you!

[DesertGurl]

Checkin in, hope you're week is going well! Cannot wait to here what this potential good news is of yours!!!!!!! yeah I'm nosy

You're a wonderful person inside and out and we will ALWAYS be here for you!

[JK130]

03.22 139 Day 1...again
03.23 138.4
03.24 137.6
03.25 136.4

here's a funny story that i know you all will appreciate (and would leave non lcf folks wondering. lol.)...i was talking to someone i don't know very well, and she was telling me about something she said about me to another person...and she described me as "the skinny lady" i had to stop her in the middle of her tale to check that she was talking about me!

[JK130]

Originally Posted by DesertGurl

You're a wonderful person inside and out and we will ALWAYS be here for you!

awww Danielle, you as so sweet. i'm starting to generate some enthusiasm about dieting. i spent some time reading on the Refuse to Regain site and found some motivating thoughts and tactics.

here's one that intend to consciously incorporate into my mind set.

It's Not About What You Want. It's About What You Don't Want.

[JK130]

Originally Posted by Princessdmw33

I just wanted to drop in to say ! I didn't know that you had a journal and am so glad to have found you!

hello, hello and good morning too! it seems like i have tried everything (well not Blonde's glue...yet) so i thought to try journaling in a public setting to help me get back some of my determination and kick out an incipient "i don't care" attitude.

how fun it will be to chat with you again

[JK130]

Originally Posted by Blonde with a Rose

I completely understand the "giving up" aspect of weight loss. We struggle and we fall and after so many times falling we don't want to feel like failures, or losers or weak of character. So we tell ourselves it doesn't matter, we're doomed to fail, so why try at all? This is my favorite quote of the moment:

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. ~Confucius

Blonde~

bless you for your thoughtful comments. i am mostly alone so it's easy to forget the truths you speak of...the inspiration that you seem to bring to your life every day, and now are sharing with me. thank you.

[DesertGurl]

G'mornin Sweets!!

Hope you're ready for another fatabulous day!! You're goin on break!! Yipee!! My kids have break next week as well so this should be fun. NOT! I had my "break" last week from school so now while they're milling like ants I have to be able to do homework all week. Hmm, I smell a few visits to Starbucks and free wi-fi in my future! At least there I won't have to worry about anyone goin, "mooooommmmmmmmmm moooooommmmmmmmmmmm!!!!"
whine whine whine... I'm such a bad mom.

Love the quote and it is SO true!!!

[Princessdmw33]

Originally Posted by jkaay

hello, hello and good morning too! it seems like i have tried everything (well not Blonde's glue...yet) so i thought to try journaling in a public setting to help me get back some of my determination and kick out an incipient "i don't care" attitude.

how fun it will be to chat with you again

LOL I haven't tried Blonde's glue yet either and I'm not so sure I want to lol.

[Blonde with a Rose]

Originally Posted by jkaay

bless you for your thoughtful comments. i am mostly alone so it's easy to forget the truths you speak of...the inspiration that you seem to bring to your life every day, and now are sharing with me. thank you.

Your welcome.:blush: If I have said anything that helped, I'm so happy.

Originally Posted by DesertGurl

G'mornin Sweets!!

Hope you're ready for another fatabulous day!! You're goin on break!! Yipee!! My kids have break next week as well so this should be fun. NOT! I had my "break" last week from school so now while they're milling like ants I have to be able to do homework all week. Hmm, I smell a few visits to Starbucks and free wi-fi in my future! At least there I won't have to worry about anyone goin, "mooooommmmmmmmmm moooooommmmmmmmmmmm!!!!"
whine whine whine... I'm such a bad mom.

Love the quote and it is SO true!!!

No, sweetie, you're a truthful Mom! Good luck with the young'ns, and don't over-caffeine-ate!

Originally Posted by Princessdmw33

LOL I haven't tried Blonde's glue yet either and I'm not so sure I want to lol.

The glu is good! Just don't try to make pancake.dumplings with it. The texture is just....eeewwwuuu.

Hope you a wonderful weekend Jan! BIG

[JK130]

03.22 139 Day 1...again
03.23 138.4
03.24 137.6
03.25 136.4
03.26 136.2

yesterday was event filled, but one thing stands out...i ate a piece of bakery cake. i haven't had anything so sugary delicious in a very long time. eating it was a deliberate choice...so was skipping friday night grocery shopping and dinner i think just about every piece or reasonable advice says not to "deny" after "indulging"...but yaknow...i just call it mini calorie cycling.

i had been craving cake, and i know better than to bring it home or bake one (lc or not), so, for me, eating a treat away from home is a good (um...better) choice...or so i rationalize

the little boys are here. the last one went to sleep after 11 and the first one was up at 5. two are eating bacon and making playdoh monsters at the table, and one is still asleep...very cute, he's curled in a pile of blankets on the floor next to an empty bed.

i'm a little nervous about vacation and keeping my weight down. i did great last summer, and over the Christmas holidays, so i know i can do this too

it's been raining here all week. i absolutely love it...but i am so in the mood for a long walk or bike ride or gardening with my little grandsons. it's raining right now...but maybe later we'll get outside.

[Blonde with a Rose]

Good for you Jan! A piece of Chocolate cake is the much better choice than making a whole one at home or worse, denying yourself to the point of triggering a full fledged binge. I think calorie cycling is the BOMB!

Enjoy your boys! I hope it clears up enough for you to get outside. It's very cloudy here today and we had no power this morning for several hours so I'm just now getting started on my mail.

~Blonde

[jeaniem]

It's Not About What You Want. It's About What You Don't Want.


Love that Jan! Enjoy your break and the precious time with the grandsons.

[JK130]

03.22 139 Day 1...again
03.23 138.4
03.24 137.6
03.25 136.4
03.26 136.2
03.27 136.2

It's Not About What You Want. It's About What You Don't Want.

that phrase has been swirling around in my head because i usually think about what I want (cause it's all about ME, right) I want to eat sweets. I want to eat a lot. I want to eat what it "feels like" everyone else does (16 year old athletes anyway), i WANT to ride bikes, jump and play hard with my grandsons, i WANT to wear smaller clothes...and, as important as those things are... they are not my bottom line reason for losing weight/keeping my weight down.

OK, my journal...honesty time. Fear is my motivator. I am my sole caretaker and I am getting older.

what i don't want...
to not be able to earn a paycheck and medical benefits as i get older due to 1. not being able to move/get around well enough to do a job, 2. prejudice in getting hired in the first place, 3. not being healthy enough to feel well enough to work

trust me, i don't WANT to work...but i sure WANT to be able to!

but not today...the sun is out for the first time in a week...and i am going to go out in it!!! (and see if the dishwasher fairy will come and fix it for me while i'm gone)

[ChristineCQ]

Originally Posted by jkaay

03.22 139 Day 1...again
03.23 138.4
03.24 137.6
03.25 136.4
03.26 136.2
03.27 136.2

It's Not About What You Want. It's About What You Don't Want.

that phrase has been swirling around in my head because i usually think about what I want (cause it's all about ME, right) I want to eat sweets. I want to eat a lot. I want to eat what it "feels like" everyone else does (16 year old athletes anyway), i WANT to ride bikes, jump and play hard with my grandsons, i WANT to wear smaller clothes...and, as important as those things are... they are not my bottom line reason for losing weight/keeping my weight down.

OK, my journal...honesty time. Fear is my motivator. I am my sole caretaker and I am getting older.

what i don't want...
to not be able to earn a paycheck and medical benefits as i get older due to 1. not being able to move/get around well enough to do a job, 2. prejudice in getting hired in the first place, 3. not being healthy enough to feel well enough to work

trust me, i don't WANT to work...but i sure WANT to be able to!

but not today...the sun is out for the first time in a week...and i am going to go out in it!!! (and see if the dishwasher fairy will come and fix it for me while i'm gone)

Fear is a good motivator! Honestly, it's what got me here as well. Like you, I WANT to be able to work. I am the primary bread-winner in my family, and I just imagined life for DH and DS without my income. Also, I am independent to a fault, and I never, never, never want DH or DS to have to take care of me. I never want to be infirm. I never want to be a part of Western medicine. So that was enough to inspire me to fly right. Good old-fashioned fear.

[JK130]

• bike ride - check
• couple of chores done - check
• wash away the grey - check
• play with little boys - check
• consume a bazillion lc calories - check (ask me about greek yogurt, sf almond syrup, a little bit of chocolate and some crushed almonds mixed in an ice cream maker!!!!!)
• rest, a ton - check
• browse youtube about extra skin solutions (yes, i have a whole bunch of the ugly saggy stuff, no i'm not going to cut it off) - check
• long, hot shower...WITH a rum and coke???...something new for me...DO try it!...check!!!

simple pleasures

and dayum...the dishwasher is still broken...well, maybe...i haven't checked

[hiea8190]

I don't know you, but you're doing AWESOME! Do you realize that you've lost more than you actually weigh now? You're such an inspiration! It seems like such a big deal to me that I have about 20lb to lose- I can't imagine losing 150lb! That's amazing! So you've gained 10lb... who cares? You've lost wayyy more than that before. We can do this together! <3

I'm Emily, by the way

[Princessdmw33]

Originally Posted by jkaay

• bike ride - check
• couple of chores done - check
• wash away the grey - check
• play with little boys - check
• consume a bazillion lc calories - check (ask me about greek yogurt, sf almond syrup, a little bit of chocolate and some crushed almonds mixed in an ice cream maker!!!!!)
• rest, a ton - check
• browse youtube about extra skin solutions (yes, i have a whole bunch of the ugly saggy stuff, no i'm not going to cut it off) - check
• long, hot shower...WITH a rum and coke???...something new for me...DO try it!...check!!!

simple pleasures

and dayum...the dishwasher is still broken...well, maybe...i haven't checked

Do tell about the ice cream and what you found on You Tube!

[Missouri_Librarian]

Knock knock knock...anyone home....ummmmm someone didnt let me know they had a journal after all our emails??...hmmmmm excuse me....lol...

I am sooooooooooo glad to see your journaling....GREAT JOB!!!!! and so glad to see you back on track...I knew you would be, you are one strong and determined lady

I am sorry I have not posted sooner, I know you can do this and get those pesky creeping pounds off....

Thanks for always being my bestest friend and a great cheerleader...my life has been sucky the past 3 months and I know I havent been the best for you lately...

Hope your enjoying your spring break...

Miss ya...~LOVES~

[Missouri_Librarian]

Hello all my old buddies up there...miss you all too....

[JK130]

Stacy's back! hooray! don't be such a lurker, friend. you are a terrific motivator, and will tell me to stop eating so dang much!!! how's your dieting going these days?


hey Dawn, good morning! i just mixed the plain yogurt with some sf syrup and a bit of dark chocolate and nuts in the ice cream maker. the frozen concoction was good enough to make again.

i found out the skin reduction surgeries look disgusting i'd probably consider it if money wasn't an issue, tho the scars for older skin are pretty intimidating. i have the extra skin everywhere but nothing of medical significance. my batwings are a badge of honor, right? (not!)

[JK130]

hello Emily. what a treat to read your sweet note thank you for putting some perspective on what Stacy called "pesky pounds". you'll get your 20 off in no time at all. what have you tried so far?

oh yeah, i am definitely a whiney butt!!! oh, i forgot, the pc term is venting.

your encouragement and enthusiasm is helping me right this minute Jan

Originally Posted by hiea8190

I don't know you, but you're doing AWESOME! Do you realize that you've lost more than you actually weigh now? You're such an inspiration! It seems like such a big deal to me that I have about 20lb to lose- I can't imagine losing 150lb! That's amazing! So you've gained 10lb... who cares? You've lost wayyy more than that before. We can do this together! <3

I'm Emily, by the way

[Missouri_Librarian]

Hey skinny minny...Your still my skinny minny inspiration...

My dieting is going good....hit the 90 pounds down mark this morning and am keeping my eye on the prize of 100 pounds down soon...this is the time I always sabatoge myself though....grrrrrr

I am still doing vlc/ low calorie....my meds make me have NO appetite at all and I am having to make myself eat even once a day...i have cut down on my red meats a little and am trying to add in more chicken and fish to help my cholesterol..everything else same as always

I made a yummo flourless choc cake last night..sent you a pic..I know you were licking the screen...lol

Hope your enjoying your spring break...keep up the great work...I know you can do this, you are one strong pound kicking woman...love ya friend

[Blonde with a Rose]

Good Morning Jan!!

Reading your thoughts regarding fear motivation, lady, can I relate? I have many pounds to go, but I already feel better, leading me to believe that any improvement...even in small increments is a great thing. I'm right there with you, the saggy skin (I'm sure it only will get worse as I lose more weight) and the gravity pull on my still large bosom! OMG. Washing (ahem...blending) away the gray, fearing not being able to get medical coverage because I'm too fat or too sick and old...gads! It goes on. DH has a great job but is considering retirement in 3 years. That's so scary to me! I'll confess, one of my strongest motivators to put stuff back at the grocers is seeing very heavy woman riding those electronic scooters...It's terrible for them, I know, but I don't want to go there, I don't want that to be me. Fear is an awesome motivator.

HELLO STACY!!!! GF, have you been missed! It's wonderful to hear from you, even if it was technically eaves dropping. Welcome back!

Jan, sorry about your dishwasher, but your day sounded fantastic!!

[JK130]

Week 2 of Restart
03.28 138.2

sad but true. i ate and drank entirely too much, too late in the evening.

[Missouri_Librarian]

Originally Posted by jkaay

Week 2 of Restart
03.28 138.2

sad but true. i ate and drank entirely too much, too late in the evening.

We get as many restarts as we need...that is what is so great... hang in there gf