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Old 03-21-2013, 10:40 AM   #1711
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Originally Posted by sunday View Post
Hi Blonde, my two babes bark at the sound of the FedEx, UPS, & postman EVERY.Single.Livelong.Day. I don't know what I will do when I retire and have to listen to their neurosis on a regular basis.

I am so glad to know that you are not needing a thyroidectomy. On the depression, I go back and forth with this. I am not sure if it is my age, or if it is simply life in general? Nonetheless, I want to offer my heartfelt hugs.
Yes, our little neurotic dog friends, don;t know what I would do woithout mine. Haven't made it to the lab for fasting blood tests yet. I'll get there eventually. Thanks for the hugs Sunday!

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Originally Posted by dawnyama View Post
It is your thyroid. Get your thyroid optimized and the depression goes away. Or at least should be better.
Thanks Dawn~ I'm getting labs done soon. My depression comes and goes and mostly it's me feeling sorry for myself. I do seem to lack any 'gumption" though and that is troublesome.

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Originally Posted by DesertGurl View Post
Checking in.. Hope all is well with your crazy schedule this week.

...no, you're not crazy.. and who cares if you are, right? I love crazy!
I ditched two of my shifts (gave them away) a sure sign of feeling depressed and anti-social. DH took me out for dinner last night and it didn't involve eating in our car! It's not even my birthday or our anniversary! It was nice, we should go out during the week more often. I lack purpose at the moment but hopefully I will have purpose soon. I kinda want to go back to bed, but I didn't have enough coffee today.
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Old 03-21-2013, 11:56 AM   #1712
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I love going to dinner in the middle of the week..so glad you guys went out! I'm confident your purpose will come back as soon as you get to feeling better and more like yourself. Depression is a slippery lil sucker and affects everyone in different ways.. I think the thyroid thing is a big piece of the puzzle and once that gets fixed I think you'll find a big change in how you feel.. Fingers crossed!!

Keep on truckin mama!
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Old 03-22-2013, 03:26 AM   #1713
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Old 03-22-2013, 08:30 AM   #1714
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Have a great weekend, hon!
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Old 03-25-2013, 06:55 AM   #1715
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Thanks Ladies! Danielle, I'm happy to hear you're feeling better!

Not much to report really, still counting calories and feeling in a slight funk. I do count my blessings though, I know things can always be worse...I'm just a little moody. Perfect weather this weekend, went for a ride yesterday and I drove for awhile. Using a stick shift is like riding a bike...you never forget, but definitely not as smooth in the beginning. By the time we got home I was shifting like a pro. I came in at points yesterday even though I had a taco and an enchilada for lunch and french fries for dinner. Not very healthy but it's what I wanted. I canceled my cancellation of WW, thinking that I have felt funky ever since I canceled it...and I may have been right. It seems my integrity was at stake and I wasn't feeling very happy with myself after having made a commitment to WW and then walking (almost) away. I was feeling like I had nowhere else to go and totally out of options. My DD reminded me of my commitment and how positive I was in the beginning...and how I knew it would be a learning curve to pay attention to my food, how I didn't gain all this weight overnight and therefore I needed to invest more time to the program before giving up on myself. So that's what I'm doing.

Since this is my journal and I can say what I want I need to mention that my neighbors of 40 years (that's how long they've lived there) are being kicked out of their home by the bank and yesterday was the last day to get everything out. They are actually brother and sister, the adult children of the owner who died two years ago. I may have mentioned her early on, she was an adorable Italian lady. She did not do her children any favors by not preparing them for the real world. I don't know how these things happen, how they are allowed to happen...but the worst scenario has come about. This morning (5:45 am) the brother was taken away in an ambulance...it seems they put off moving (packing) until this weekend. The bank people will be here at 8am to take possession of the house, the only home either has known. They are both in their 40's. I'm writing this in a very detached way, but I'm not detached. I'm sick that it's happening and I'm just a little angry that they let this happen. Their inaction and their overlong grief blinded them to the consequences. They did nothing for two years to prevent this and now my other neighbors have scrambled all weekend to help them, one in his late 60's, and they were up all night last night trying to get the house emptied. Now the brother is in the hospital, the sister is helpless and my wonderful other neighbors are out there cleaning up the mess. Living right next door, we have listened and counseled and no matter what solicited advice we gave there were 10 reasons why it wouldn't work. After a while one tends to throw their hands up in the air and say okay, whatever you think. DH is not a young man and did not volunteer to wade into the fray this weekend. It is a disaster of epic proportions. I feel horrible for them and somehow responsible even thought I know that is ridiculous. The last big item to go is the Newish Ram truck that's been hidden in the garage for 8 months, to avoid getting it repo'd. The driveway is filled with clothes on hangers, and the items that didn't warrant packing or throwing away....

Today begins Spring Break for the grand girls....
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Old 03-26-2013, 06:17 AM   #1716
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Made it through work yesterday, today the grand girls are coming to spend the day. I've threatened them with the Boys & Girls Club if they pester me too much or fight with each other. If they behave they can stay all day, otherwise to the club at noon.

My neighbor is going to be released from the hospital today, he had kidney stones. The house next door is dark for the first time, ever. It's so sad.

Had a decent day yesterday, only 7 points over, lol! I do the best I can with what I've got to work with. I don't think I'm getting on the scale again until I get a new scale!
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Old 03-26-2013, 10:12 AM   #1717
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Hiya honey!!

WOW. Blown away about the news about the neighbors. Totally reminds me of my SIL and everything that my MIL did not prepare her for. DH wasn't all that prepared either but he's a logical sensible person..SIL, not so much. She is 38yrs old and for all the time I've known her which is 20yrs..she's never been able to hold down a job, been in & out of jail for stupid stuff, and has given up her rights to her own 2 children.. she is totally helpless and can't for the life of her figure out how to live. I'd never believe it if I hadn't witnessed firsthand..it's tough to watch.

So you're sticking with WW.. that is probably a good decision. I think if you have something to focus on right now instead of trying to find something new to implement will be easier while you're in your quiet mode. Did you get results back yet from your tests?

7pts over is not too shabby girly..hang in there!! I am right behind you, and you know that I relate to the dilemma's and questions you have regarding plans and sustainability. You WILL get through this!!
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Old 03-26-2013, 10:39 AM   #1718
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Hi Girlie! Yes sticking with weight watchers is much better than floundering around looking for another miracle. I am the miracle. I must make the miracle. I was feeling so down for giving up again, as soon as I canceled my cancellation I immediately felt better, like I had a mission again. I can do this, just not fast, dang it. In the beginning I was eating way more veggies so I'm trying that tact again. I do like the 'nothing is truly off-limits" part, as well.

DH is taking me on a mini-vacation next week to Harrah's Rincon for a couple of days of R&R. Pool & jacuzzis in a desert setting. No dogs, no kids, no phones, no work, no worries for two days. Ahhhhhh.........

How are you feeling Danielle?
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Old 03-26-2013, 10:41 AM   #1719
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Oh hey sorry, no tests yet....I need to have fasting Blood work and I can't seem to not have coffee from 5am til 8am when the lab opens
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Old 03-26-2013, 11:36 AM   #1720
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Vacation sounds lovely!!! We need to do one of those..I love our staycations but the kids have been uber busy it's hard to plan!!!

Get those tests done. I'ma gonna call DH and tell him to hide your coffee!
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Old 03-26-2013, 12:29 PM   #1721
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Hah! That will never work...I make his coffee for him.
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Old 03-26-2013, 01:05 PM   #1722
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What a long day...One grand girl at the Club (by request) one at home with me playing on her Mom's kindle fire. Mom just called and asked "May I speak to the little darling who's downloading games? I just got an email from Amazon, thanking me for my purchase"..... oops! I'm thinking of putting in a cartoon/movie so I can grab a catnap. How about Puss n Boots? Or Toy Story III, my favorite....or maybe Shrek II. Too bad I can't convince her to watch Tombstone...that's a long one and would put her to sleep. (Me too) Uh OH! I hear the theme song from Sponge Bob Square Pants...problem solved.

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Old 03-26-2013, 02:18 PM   #1723
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Shoot! The coffee thing won't work then.. Ok, well then I will just have to come there and march you to the lab myself!

Oh lordy, the lovely "download"! Been down that road with the kiddos!!!
Tombstone was on HBO the other day and I thought of you...we had this conversation.. I was gonna dvr it but I'd caught it about 40 min in so I didn't.. but I will look for it on demand.. DH says I should watch it too.

Speaking of movies..we watched the most bizarro movie last night.. The Collection.. from the writers of the last 4 Saw movies.. good grief, was not prepared for all the ick and of course I did not know this tidbit prior to the hubster pushing play. ...

PS. No, you did not miss a thing by not viewing this movie.
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Old 03-27-2013, 07:26 AM   #1724
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Oh a nice icky movie....I have become the supreme wimp when it comes to gore. I've been watching the Following on Fox and frankly it's almost too much for me, but I'm hooked. Yes you should watch Tombstone. It's very entertaining. Maybe we could watch it together when you come over here and make me get the blood work done.

I had a runaway day yesterday...it was a carbaloosa, A carb-tacular carb-tastrophy. A carb-mendously carb-over-the-top Carba-thon. Today I feel lousy. My tummy is blown up, and I think I'm not eating at all today. Was it unhealthy junk? Nope. It was all day carbs, all day long. A regular carba-ganza!!!

I'm serious about not eating. I think my guts are sad.

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Old 03-27-2013, 09:48 AM   #1725
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I absolutely love The Following. I'm behind 1 episode right now but I look forward to that show every week! There's a new show starting called Hannibal..looks kinda like the same stuff.. Heehee, ok, so I can use the excuse to take you to your labs so I can watch Tombstone.. Anything for a road trip!!

Aw, I'm sorry you're feeling crummy this morning!! I can relate and have done that often.. Hopefully by today you'll be feeling back to your old self.. I can imagine that your guts are extra grumpy today. Mine sure have let me know it! Hang on tight girlfriend!

Had a weird feeling yesterday, absolutely no hunger. 8pm rolled around and I hadn't eaten dinner..I forced myself to eat some salad only because I needed to take the last of my supps.. I dunno that I've ever experienced total loss of appetite even with lc.. craziness.

Work today?
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Old 03-27-2013, 12:45 PM   #1726
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I've been reading my journal all day, trying to find the places where I went wrong. I think I found some clues. Stress and illness not necessarily in that order....


Quote:
Originally Posted by Blonde with a Rose View Post
I've been so busy that my JUDDD anniversary passed by without notice.
so here are the stats:

Dec 5 2010

Weight: 240
Pant Size: 20/22 (womens)
Shirt Size: 22/24
BP: 130/85 (with meds)
Glucose: 105

Dec 5 2011

Weight: 199.6 (lowest weight 196.4)
Pant Size: 16 (misses)
Shirt Size: 16 (misses)
Glucose: 95
BP: 117/70 (with meds)

Things that I can do now that I COULD NOT do before:

Work a 4 hour lunch shift without feeling I'm dying.
Get down on my knees and get back up.
Bend over and pick things up off the floor.
Put on shoes and socks with ease.
Paint my own toenails.
Sleep without pain (most of the time).
Wait a day to have something I want.
Stop eating when I'm full.
Not eating when I'm not hungry.
Prepare meals that are low cal and filling and actually enjoying them.


That's all for now. My goal for this DD is to go back and re-read my journal to see how far I've come, to re-commit to following this way of eating and lose another 40 pounds in 2012.
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New LOW: 196.2

Leo!! Thank you! It's good to hear from you. You are the one who introduce me to JUDDD and I'll be forever thankful. How are you doing? Is maintenance a place to look forward to?

Jan, NOT eating when I'm not hungry is a side effect of NOT eating when I'm starving. I've definitely learned the difference between the two. Not to say I never ever stick food in my mouth when I don't really need it. It happens.

Danielle, I am so proud of my accomplishments but as you know, I can't rest on my laurels or they'll grow back on me. One thing I've learned over the last 10 years is that I must keep at it or it will overcome me again. For whatever reason, the body wants to return to it's FULL figure. I don't really get that. One would think that it would want to stay at the healthier weight...but alas, no.

I've had a solid perfect week of DD's and up day's and my weight has shifted back down to lower than my previous 196.4. I'm hoping this means the effects of the prednisone are gone. This is when I let it ride until I feel the need to weigh again. Sometime next month.

Hope everyone is enjoying the crisp weather, I for one am dreaming of skinny margaritas poolside...
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I'm feeling better for sure. I'm up 7 pounds due to 2 rounds of prednisone, and feeling unmotivated, or at least not enough to make it through a down day in quite a while...I know I feel great when I'm cruising through JUDDD, I'm just having a hard time doing it.

Happy New Year!!!
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HIYA Dawn!!!

Oh Jan, thank you. I know what you mean, and of course the alternative is so NOT what we want. One of the things I adore about JUDDD is not being on a diet everyday, just every other day. I bought myself another pair of size 16 jeans yesterday at dress barn and they fit beautifully. It was uplifting for sure. My fat jeans are gone and I think I miss the feel of those extremely baggy jeans, letting me know where I came from. All my other pants fit well, sometimes tight and that makes me feel fatter... even though the pants are smaller. Psychological weirdness, right?

I need to go back to the every other day dieting plan. I tried to do MON/WED/FRI but it's harder to maintain that schedule than to just rotate days every week. Yesterday is a good example. I had a long lunch with my bestie and I decided that I needed a mental health day more than a down day, so today is a down day instead. Following the other plan I wouldn't get a down day until Monday which puts me way behind....

I plod forward.....
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Good morning all. I have a cold. I have no explanation for my rolling sickness. I am so over it!

At some point, I stopped weighing, stopped trying, started speaking to myself in a negative voice. I forgot how far I had come. I forgot to be grateful. I forgot to be positive. I forgot what JUDDD had done for me. I was mistaken to walk away from it. I turned my back on my plan.
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Old 03-27-2013, 01:04 PM   #1727
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I absolutely love The Following. I'm behind 1 episode right now but I look forward to that show every week! There's a new show starting called Hannibal..looks kinda like the same stuff.. Heehee, ok, so I can use the excuse to take you to your labs so I can watch Tombstone.. Anything for a road trip!!

Aw, I'm sorry you're feeling crummy this morning!! I can relate and have done that often.. Hopefully by today you'll be feeling back to your old self.. I can imagine that your guts are extra grumpy today. Mine sure have let me know it! Hang on tight girlfriend!

Had a weird feeling yesterday, absolutely no hunger. 8pm rolled around and I hadn't eaten dinner..I forced myself to eat some salad only because I needed to take the last of my supps.. I dunno that I've ever experienced total loss of appetite even with lc.. craziness. Work today?


That sounds like Low Carb working for you! Yay!!

I am working myself out of a raging funk. I can only hope to get my sea legs back soon and figure out my issue. Like I said, much reading. On another note, I've not eaten one bite today. Maybe it will be a down day. In searching through my journal I found a few things that rarely changed: Wine makes me feel bad the next day. Too many carbs make me feel really lousy (ya think?). JUDDD made me feel amazing and positive. It took me a year to lose 44lbs but I did it. I was also smoking after a few months, and I haven't smoked since last July. Stopping smoking and being so sick really tweaked me out. No wonder I fell off. The last many pages of my journal have been starts and half starts, really negative and not very nice. I have jumped here and there looking for the magic and the magic is here in me, it has been all the time. I've been so afraid to fail that I stopped trying to succeed. Do you know what I mean? I've always had this negative thing in me that said "Expect nothing and you'll never be disappointed'. Where did the positive, happy person go? I made it through a year of JUDDD believing in it, believing in me. I then proceeded to gain back 20lbs over the course of a year...doing nothing. Okay maybe I'm being a little tough on myself. I was sick and I was in a stressful home situation, I had quit smoking...I was tired I guess, of working so hard all the time. Not an excuse, just how it was. In looking back over my journal I actually went a few months without a ounce lost but I had been feeling so darn good it didn't matter.

Is it possible to go back?
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Old 03-27-2013, 02:48 PM   #1728
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Old 03-27-2013, 04:19 PM   #1729
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I can totally relate to where you're coming from. The negative self talk and the way we beat ourselves up..it's incredible. I wouldn't dream in a million years EVER speaking to my kids like that...somehow I find validation in saying it's ok to do it to myself.. It has to stop. I have struggled with negative self talk my whole life, simply because it's what I was told.. learing early on that no matter what I'll be a disappointment is hard to erase.. it's taken me 40 years to do it and I believe I've finally conquered it. Yeah, the last couple months I wavered alittle bit but then I woke up and realized that, like you, I'd been SO sick, and also going through personal drama, and I teetered on boarding that recrimination bus.. I'm thankful that I was smart enough not to jump on board. You are too!

Is is definitely possible to go back. If you want it, make it happen. You deserve every happiness, every good thing that happens.
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Old 03-28-2013, 03:40 AM   #1730
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We're so much nicer to other people than we are to ourselves. Just think about how kind we are to one another here on the boards; we need to channel that same compassion and apply it to ourselves. I think we can be our own worst enemies sometimes!! Good for you for taking time to go back and reflect on things to look for answers; that's an important exercise! You can go back to what worked for you, absolutely. You have the tools, and we are here to support you every step of the way!
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Old 03-28-2013, 05:59 AM   #1731
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Quote:
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I've been so afraid to fail that I stopped trying to succeed.
WOW....did that statement ever hit home! Have been in a funk myself....wanted to lose weight before my annual trip to Hilton Head (next week) and here I am weighing the same as I didn January 1st! In these 3 months have gained and lost (and gained) the same 15lb over and over. Gave up on WW, tried giving up flour and sugar and never seem to last on anything.

Agree with you and Danielle both....the negative talk is so ingrained. I'm the most positive, supportive person going for friends and family....why can't I love myself enough to feel like I deserve it too?

Blonde...you have proved how strong you are by sticking with JUDD for a year and doing so well....have faith you will find the answer again, whatever it may be.
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Old 03-28-2013, 06:03 AM   #1732
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Only positive talk allowed today Blonde. Enjoy your Thursday.
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Old 03-28-2013, 06:35 AM   #1733
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The support from my friends here is overwhelming. You're with me when I'm up and with me when I'm down...you're always with me. If not for my LC friends I would never have come this far. I'd still be stepping on the scale, only at the Doctor's office...hiding my head in the sand. Anyone else would peg me as neurotic and obsessive, a bit mental and maybe even hopeless. You all understand the road to good health and weight loss is fraught with potholes and bridges that are suddenly out. Thank you, thank you all for understanding and responding.

Seabreezes, thank you so much for your support. Yesterday I stayed under 10 points. I thought about cancelling my WW (again). I'm going to up and down my points as you suggested and see how that feels.

Danielle, Christine, WORD. The bad self talk has to stop. Spot on, we would never speak to our friends the way we berate ourselves! And when did we learn that it was okay to browbeat to get what we want? Looking back on my journal and seeing all the positive talk to myself and from my friends...it was like I was a different person. Stronger and determined but also relaxed about my progress. I just knew I would make it so I didn't fret all the time. You've been with me since the beginning.

OnceNforall~ Sherrie~ I can tell you this for sure. You must enjoy your vacation, regardless of your weight loss or regain. This time will never come again. Get a pedicure, have your hair done, buy a beautiful new cover-up and sexy sandals. Be kind to you. You'll find your stride. Hang out here.

Maggie, thank you. I'm trying really hard to find reasons to be upbeat. I can't stand hearing myself whine but sometimes you have to do it to get through it. Hey that rhymes!

I had one meal yesterday~ salad, chicken and Walden Farms. I figure about 400 calories all day including my coffee. I started out to eat nothing. That was a mental boost actually because I didn't think about what I could or couldn't have, since I wasn't going to eat at all. As dinner approached I got hungry and played the mental game of 'you can eat at dinner time'. Naturally my salad tasted amazingly good, starvation will make you appreciate food. I slept well, too. I can't lie and say I'm all better but I'm definitely turning around. I like Seabreezes idea to up and down points. I think I need to keep WW around for a while, it's sorta tied to my self esteem right at the moment.

I'm going to call today Day 2. Up day.

Again, I cannot express how much your support means to me.

Last edited by Blonde with a Rose; 03-28-2013 at 06:39 AM..
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Old 03-28-2013, 08:34 AM   #1734
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So glad yesterday was better!
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Old 03-28-2013, 08:50 AM   #1735
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seabreezes View Post
So glad yesterday was better!
Thank you

Working on having a good day today, too.
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Old 03-28-2013, 09:01 AM   #1736
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Every step of the way, babe.

So glad that you find yourself in better spirits and are finding a glimmer of hope once again. Great idea about rotating points, I hope this is your answer.

So thankful to have known you & Christine all this time. I remember when we all met up on that one thread. It was during an extremely stressful time for me and both of you were amazing friends to me when I needed it.

Do you work today? Have you hidden your coffee or broken the coffee maker in order to go do your labs? Hmmm??????????? Maybe I need to just go over there in the middle of the night and flip your breakers so you have no electricity to make said coffee? ...
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Old 03-28-2013, 09:12 AM   #1737
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Thanks Dani! I appreciate your friendship as well. I promise to get my labs done after the 8th when school is back in session. No work today, I have the grand girls. I'm taking them to lunch with my BFF and then going to Costco to get stuff for Easter Day brunch here. We're having Quiche, hashbrowns, bacon & fruit, muffins and Mimosas. DD the elder is bringing Bacon & Spinach Quiche and muffins. DD the younger is bringing her hubby's Seafood Quiche (um...ick?) and Cupcakes. I'm making Southwestern Quiche (peppers, chiles & ham) and one plain cheese Quiche (cheddar, swiss & gouda) plus the potatoes. Just the family but it will be fun.

I've got my food planned for the day ala Weight Watchers. I will stay within my points...because when I don't, it makes me feel bad. I do have a glimmer of hope and don't feel so desperate today. My plan is to stay under 10 points tomorrow, pretty much having one meal at dinner time. If I can't do that, then I'll stay within my WW points. It's a plan, anyway.
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Old 03-28-2013, 09:16 AM   #1738
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Ok, please send the last 2 quiche's this way, por favor. YUM! The seafood thing?.....not-so-much....

I forgot about the grandgirls being there..ok, you're off the hook
....for now. ...

Sounds like you've got a good plan in place for the day..you're way ahead of me, I am flying by the seat of my pants today..
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Old 03-28-2013, 09:25 AM   #1739
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Oh my girly, it's never to late to implement a plan, even a "I'm not going to worry about anything today" plan. And would that be the seat of your baggy pants?

I am pleased to have a definitive plan for the day. I have stopped yelling "I can't" at myself. That really helps a lot.
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Old 03-28-2013, 09:44 AM   #1740
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I WISH I could say baggy-ER pants..but alas not any baggier than a couple months ago....

Amazing what gets accomplished when we take our own roadblocks out of everything, huh? Go for it chicky!
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