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Old 05-10-2011, 03:25 AM   #601
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Hey Christine! Thought I'd return the favor of you stopping in my journal, I just read through all your entries and I have to say you are hilarious and your progress is amazing! I cannot believe you workout that much during the week while raising a son, having a career, and a social life! Kudos to you! Just recently we had a Zumba thing at the Mall of America when I was shopping with some friends and we stopped to watch and it was very interesting, it looked super fun and not at all like exercise--I also really enjoyed the outfits everyone had on so bright and colorful!
Thanks for coming over!! Fortunately, I have a pretty flexible job and while I put in a lot of hours, I have the freedom to -- for the most part -- build those hours around my workouts.

Zumba is GREAT. If you like to dance, you need to try it. Here's a suggestion: Go to Youtube and look up some Zumba routines (there are a million of them out there). I particularly like a woman named Dar, whose routines are basic (but good workouts). Just follow along for a few songs, and you'll get the idea!
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Old 05-10-2011, 03:26 AM   #602
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A new low today: 176.8.

I am very pleased with this progress. Officially 17 lbs to go to meet my first major goal.

Off to swim and then hit the gym later!

Last edited by ChristineCQ; 05-10-2011 at 03:29 AM..
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Old 05-10-2011, 04:16 AM   #603
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awesome! it's fun for me to "hear" your excitement
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Old 05-10-2011, 04:31 AM   #604
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WooHoo!!! Virgin Weight!!! Go Christine!
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Old 05-10-2011, 06:31 AM   #605
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AWESOME!!!!!!
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Old 05-11-2011, 04:57 AM   #606
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Thank you, ladies!

The great thing about seeing a lower weight is that when I've hit it and have changed nothing, I know that a few lbs of fluctuation in the days following are just the natural ebb and flow of fluids in my body. I'm up about 1.4 today, but I know it'll come back down quickly; I definitely did not gain 1.4 lbs of fat overnight!

Good workouts yesterday: Swimming in the morning, weights in the afternoon. Twenty lb dumbbells on the seated shoulder press. Yikes. That's some heavy weight. But it was fine; I like lifting heavy and I can really see the difference in my delts and biceps. Now if only the triceps would GET ON THE TRAIN.

I think I've said before that I'm more critical of my body now that I've lost weight, and that truth remains. Example: My outer thighs (about where your hands hand when they're by your side) stick out farther than my hips. That is very annoying to me because it disrupts the line of my body and is SO APPARENT when I wear certain things. It seems to have become magnified lately, and one of my friends said that I'm building muscle under there which is possibly pushing against the fat, hence making it look more prominent. I don't know if that's true, but it surely is annoying.

I do know that I'm gaining muscle in my quads, though, that's for certain. I can see it and feel it in my lower quads.

Here's a little fun fact for you: I measured over the weekend, and right now my waist is a mere two inches larger than my UPPER THIGHS were when I first began this process last July. Unbelievable!
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Old 05-11-2011, 06:36 AM   #607
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I BELIEVE you have earned every inch gone! and yes, it's odd how we focus on our own bothering body parts. nobody else notices. i'm watching dancing with the stars with my morning tea... and those ladies have their curves in all the right places!
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Old 05-11-2011, 06:45 AM   #608
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Old 05-11-2011, 09:15 AM   #609
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Thank you, ladies!

The great thing about seeing a lower weight is that when I've hit it and have changed nothing, I know that a few lbs of fluctuation in the days following are just the natural ebb and flow of fluids in my body. I'm up about 1.4 today, but I know it'll come back down quickly; I definitely did not gain 1.4 lbs of fat overnight!

Good workouts yesterday: Swimming in the morning, weights in the afternoon. Twenty lb dumbbells on the seated shoulder press. Yikes. That's some heavy weight. But it was fine; I like lifting heavy and I can really see the difference in my delts and biceps. Now if only the triceps would GET ON THE TRAIN.

I think I've said before that I'm more critical of my body now that I've lost weight, and that truth remains. Example: My outer thighs (about where your hands hand when they're by your side) stick out farther than my hips. That is very annoying to me because it disrupts the line of my body and is SO APPARENT when I wear certain things. It seems to have become magnified lately, and one of my friends said that I'm building muscle under there which is possibly pushing against the fat, hence making it look more prominent. I don't know if that's true, but it surely is annoying.

I do know that I'm gaining muscle in my quads, though, that's for certain. I can see it and feel it in my lower quads.

Here's a little fun fact for you: I measured over the weekend, and right now my waist is a mere two inches larger than my UPPER THIGHS were when I first began this process last July. Unbelievable!
I really understand the being over-critical on your body now that there has been a substantial amount of weight loss. When I was at my highest it was like I ignored my body cuz I didn't want to have to look at it, and now even though I am 17-18lbs lighter I still see the imperfections and have to tell myself *20 more pounds and then I'll look better* when I should be like "wow I look so much better after losing that much weight" I think I might have a touch of the crazies though

I dont think being critical is a bad thing, as theres always need for improvement, just don't let it become the only factor in your life (which Im sure you wont )

Also those are amazing measurements!
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Old 05-12-2011, 03:33 AM   #610
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Mariah, I completely relate to that; I always think the *20 more lbs* thoughts! I know I should probably be kinder to myself and consider my progress, but it's hard to get into that mindset.

Another new low today: 176.6. Only .2 lower than I was two days ago, but I'll take it! This is why I need to weigh daily: Tuesday, 176.8; Wednesday, 178.2; Thursday, 176.6. If I had weighed only on Wednesday as a "once per week" weigh in, I wouldn't have a clear picture of what is happening here.

Had a good workout at the gym yesterday, but man.....my delts are sore today. I also think it's unfair for my workout program to make me lift more than I weigh. It was the leg press, but still. It was heavy!

I was thinking about the weight I want to lose to reach my first goal of 159, and when I look at it on the weight stack, it looks like so little. Just two little bars; I can lift that on the cable machine with one hand. Just two measly little bars. It makes me realize how close I am to that goal and how easily I am scared away from that goal. I don't know what that's about; why do I self-sabotage so easily? I think back over the course of the past year and realize that I was super committed and focused from July-January. Then, for some reason, mid-January hit and I hit a wall. February, March, and April were a wash. Seriously? Three months of potential progress lost? And why? I think that I could be AT THAT GOAL RIGHT NOW if I had stayed focused.

I don't really know what it is about me that makes me fear being successful. I am pretty reflective about my short-comings and I usually have an answer (and a plan) for addressing them, but this is confounding. I have no reasonable explanation for why I do this to myself.

But with or without understanding, I am going to move ahead with a plan to keep myself focused. One of the things I've learned that really helps me is a monthly challenge. If you recall, last month I had the cardio/weight lifting challenge. Although that's over (and I hit only rung one), I printed a calendar page for May so that I can continue. I set a goal for myself, and I track it every day. I want to try to beat last month's numbers. I'm also doing 30 days of clean eating this month. Next month, I'll either continue this challenge or come up with a new one. I think taking this 30 days at a time will help me not sabotage myself.

We'll see.
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Old 05-12-2011, 03:47 AM   #611
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Christine: We're human.

I too look back at wasted time.

Yes, go month by month, or week by week. Sometimes short goals work better.

Have a great day!
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Old 05-12-2011, 04:06 AM   #612
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i think it's totally normal (and absolutely frustrating) to move through times of more and less intense focus on any one thing. for me, losing weight is mentally exhausting, and of course, it's not the only energy sucking area of my life. i know that the last 3 months weren't wasted for you, yet perhaps your food plan had to compete for attention with your exercise, work, parenting and all the other amazing things you cram into each day.

short challenges can be highly motivating, kind of a kick start into gaining focus again. you really do know how to work weight loss!

all of that said, i totally "get" the in regards to self sabotage. i'll add a little to the process...and end up with a lot of jan
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Old 05-13-2011, 03:55 AM   #613
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I don't know what's wrong with me. I am in the middle of 30 days of clean eating, only to allow myself a small dessert last night at a fancy dinner. Plus two bites of bread. And a glass of red wine.

Normally, I'd let myself indulge in ONE of those things, but never all three. I started with the red wine because it was a cocktail hour and mingling was expected (I was there for a work thing), and it's awkward to not have something in one's hand (plus I do allow myself a glass or two every few weeks).

Dinner was ok: Beef, salmon, asparagus, squash, salad.

But then the two bites of bread.

And finally, a little tiramisu (my favorite dessert ever) in a little chocolate cup.....I was going to take only a bite or two, but I ate it all (and honestly, it wasn't all that great). I went to bed with a stomach ache.

I don't think it's a "big deal" carb-wise; I am more concerned about my behavior. I have been so *mindful* lately, and even last night I knew what I was doing......and didn't change anything. That irritates me.

Anyway, hitting the pool this morning. Taking the day off from the gym because I've been there for the past four days, and my shoulders are SORE. Happy Friday, everyone.
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Old 05-13-2011, 07:05 AM   #614
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the mind plays tricks on us sometimes. i do understand that you had decided to do one thing and then did another and so are disappointed in yourself. so now you know that it's still an area that you want more control over.

definately relax and enjoy your swim today. what's on your agenda for the weekend?

and btw...nothing is wrong with you
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Old 05-13-2011, 09:19 AM   #615
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChristineCQ View Post
I don't know what's wrong with me. I am in the middle of 30 days of clean eating, only to allow myself a small dessert last night at a fancy dinner. Plus two bites of bread. And a glass of red wine.

Normally, I'd let myself indulge in ONE of those things, but never all three. I started with the red wine because it was a cocktail hour and mingling was expected (I was there for a work thing), and it's awkward to not have something in one's hand (plus I do allow myself a glass or two every few weeks).

Dinner was ok: Beef, salmon, asparagus, squash, salad.

But then the two bites of bread.

And finally, a little tiramisu (my favorite dessert ever) in a little chocolate cup.....I was going to take only a bite or two, but I ate it all (and honestly, it wasn't all that great). I went to bed with a stomach ache.

I don't think it's a "big deal" carb-wise; I am more concerned about my behavior. I have been so *mindful* lately, and even last night I knew what I was doing......and didn't change anything. That irritates me.

Anyway, hitting the pool this morning. Taking the day off from the gym because I've been there for the past four days, and my shoulders are SORE. Happy Friday, everyone.
I dont think you are being mindless at all, I think you are being human! If you were mindless about what you eat, you wouldn't have posted this at all! Just look at the upside of yesterday, you ate really well at dinner and didn't overendulge AND you continued right on back to LCing, thats willpower! Also, Sorry to hear about your tummy ache (I get this even when I eat a little off plan recently), and I hope you have a great Friday!
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Old 05-13-2011, 11:09 AM   #616
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I totally agree with Mad4....you are being human Christine. We are our own worst and hardest critics for sure. You are rocking it girl!! You have come so far, be proud of your accomplishments thus far.....and the challenges you give yourself are the best way to stay focused with your eye on the prize.

HUGS and congrats on the new LOW!!
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Old 05-13-2011, 12:40 PM   #617
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Please do not try to fret over it. Having a couple bites of bread and eating dessert is no t a bad thing. It is okay for us to have a "treat" once in a while especially if you know that it will not set you into some downward spiral. I know that I have had a couple bites of cake a few times in the past few weeks and do not feel guilty over it at all. I have the bites, get the tastes and move on. To err is human.

I am sorry about the stomach ache. I get a stomach ache every time I eat something that is way too carby. The stomach ache is a big reason of why I stay on plan.
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Old 05-13-2011, 02:00 PM   #618
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the mind plays tricks on us sometimes. i do understand that you had decided to do one thing and then did another and so are disappointed in yourself. so now you know that it's still an area that you want more control over.

definately relax and enjoy your swim today. what's on your agenda for the weekend?

and btw...nothing is wrong with you
Double ditto!
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Old 05-14-2011, 02:33 AM   #619
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Thank you, ladies. I was reflecting on your sig quote, Blonde, and I really do believe it. I just need to work on remembering it.
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Old 05-16-2011, 06:48 AM   #620
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Wow. A whole weekend of non-stellar eating. Going to try to put that one completely behind me and move on. Waaaaay on!

In better news, I left a meeting this morning, and as I was walking down the hall, I caught the image of a woman wearing a skirt identical to mine!! "She looks so nice in that," I thought. I looked again and realized that it was MY OWN reflection. This sounds like a really stupid story, I know, but the fact is this:

So many days of my life I have caught my reflection in a window or mirror and thought, "There is no way that fat, ugly, sad woman is me! I am NOT THAT on the inside! NOT THAT!"

But I was definitely that on the outside. And today, friends, was the first day in a very long time that I looked at myself and liked what I saw. It was the first day that I felt like the outside matched the inside.
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Old 05-16-2011, 06:49 AM   #621
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But I was definitely that on the outside. And today, friends, was the first day in a very long time that I looked at myself and liked what I saw. It was the first day that I felt like the outside matched the inside.
SO AWESOME!!!! :clap :
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Old 05-16-2011, 09:50 AM   #622
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Wow. A whole weekend of non-stellar eating. Going to try to put that one completely behind me and move on. Waaaaay on!

In better news, I left a meeting this morning, and as I was walking down the hall, I caught the image of a woman wearing a skirt identical to mine!! "She looks so nice in that," I thought. I looked again and realized that it was MY OWN reflection. This sounds like a really stupid story, I know, but the fact is this:

So many days of my life I have caught my reflection in a window or mirror and thought, "There is no way that fat, ugly, sad woman is me! I am NOT THAT on the inside! NOT THAT!"

But I was definitely that on the outside. And today, friends, was the first day in a very long time that I looked at myself and liked what I saw. It was the first day that I felt like the outside matched the inside.
This is awesome motivation and inspiration, loved the story
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Old 05-16-2011, 06:24 PM   #623
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I am so happy for you Christine! You just made a huge leap forward in the mental game of weight loss and body image. YOU look stunning and now YOU know it too. Just WOW!

BTW I think that experiences like your "ah ha moment" are good reasons to go ahead and buy smaller clothing rather than wait til the end.

I have a smile on my face just thinking about your slim, pretty self struttin through the office
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Old 05-16-2011, 07:29 PM   #624
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This made me smile too. So happy for you my friend
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Old 05-18-2011, 05:06 AM   #625
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I've always felt that "rest days" were kind of bogus. I mean really....I'm not working out SO HARD that I need a day or two of "rest."

Ok, this week? I need a day of rest. Workouts were as follows:

Sunday: Weights plus two hour walk outside (6 miles covered)
Monday: Swimming and Zumba
Tuesday: Zumba and weights
Wednesday: Nothing

My muscles hurt. That walk on Sunday killed me. My friends with whom I was walking were surprised by that, but the fact is, walking is not part of my workout. I could do 2 hours of Zumba without a problem, but walking is a whole different thing, especially over six miles of it.

And then I was back to Zumba for the first time in over a week on Monday, and wow. My muscles were reminded of what it's like!

So today, nothing. Tomorrow I'll hit the pool in the morning, and Friday I'll do the pool and Zumba. Back to clean eating, so let's hope things get moving around here.
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Old 05-18-2011, 06:40 AM   #626
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clean eating...it is so worth it. and so hard to do! just look around, and we can see that so many Americans are struggling with extra fat. lots of food addicts around we have temptations everywhere and plenty of company in our cravings...but WE'RE FIGHTING BACK. clean eating today...a terrific goal for me too.
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Old 05-19-2011, 06:39 PM   #627
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DH is mocking me tonight because I'm excited about my workout trifecta tomorrow morning: Swimming, lifting, Zumba.

Today, swimming and lifting. I tried to kick it up at the end of my swim, just to see if I could go faster. I can, and I did. I should try to do faster laps each time I swim.

Food today was not stellar:
B: Shake
L: Turnips
D: Atkins coconut bar (DH keeps these in the house; bad news!), turkey/cheese roll-up, some almonds, and some almond/coconut bark candies I made

Tomorrow will be better.
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Old 05-19-2011, 06:46 PM   #628
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Great workouts Christine!

I hear ya on the "rest days". I hate skipping a day, but they are to be important...so I've heard
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Old 05-19-2011, 09:25 PM   #629
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yah, that exercise routine is a powerhouse! you!
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Old 05-20-2011, 04:20 AM   #630
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Great job with all of those workouts. As far as your eating, you say it was "not stellar" but it looks good to me. I do have one question though are you sure that you are eating enough for the amount of workouts you are doing? I am thinking that you may need to increase somewhere or you may be stalling yourself out. Do you know how many calories that is approximately?
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