Journey To ONEderland

[kittycitygirl]

Yep, Fat Kitty wanted to stop at Auntie anne's while at the mall....I squashed her right there! LOL

[slh72454]

That's the only way to handle it Kitty.

[FutureMe]

Originally Posted by ceecee08

... I think that would help a lot Yo get rid of my fat demons!!

Amen to that Ceecee!

You know, there all kinds of jokes along the lines of "inside every fat man there's a skinny man trying to get out", the punchline usually along the lines of "yeah, because the fat man ate the skinny man". As I've been working through what I know will be a long and arduous process of first losing weight, then changing my eating and exercise habits to ensure that I absolutely NEVER gain this weight back again, I've realized that I *am* a normal person trapped inside a fat body--we all are here. At times I've visualized what I'm doing as cranking on a brilliant, fiery light deep inside this fat body of mine and using it to slowly but surely melt away this fat shell that prevents me from experiencing life on the terms I want to. But in reading your post, I realized it's more complicated than that. I feel as though I'm being actively tempted/taunted at times, and by forces that seem to originate outside myself. I'm not a religious person, but these suggestions of malign intent certainly seem to fit the classic definition of "devils".

I, for one, don't plan on giving in to these not-so-subtle intrusions into my consciousness. Say it with me Ceecee--"My mind is my own and *I* control my destiny!"

Have a great day all,

Bill

[ceecee08]

"My mind is my own and I control my destiny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Thanks FutureME!!!

Seth- Great job on the workout!! I wish I could find a gym I could afford to go to... everything around here is so expensive. I think I will stick to my walking and dvd's but going to the gym will be better IMO.

[Meek75]

Happy Monday, Seth!

Just want you to know that you've inspired me to head back into the gym! Thanks for being such a great example and inspiration to us all.

Have a GREAT week!

[slh72454]

I'm really glad I could inspire you into going back to the gym Meek!

CeeCee, I know how it can be on a budget. I didn't do the gym until last April because I just simply couldn't afford it and the Community Center walking track was free so that's what I did. Check your local hospitals in the area, that's where I go and it's only 35 dollars a month for unlimited use. I've noticed several hospitals around here have "wellness centers" as they call them. It's made a world of difference to me.

Bill, I've never felt like a fat person in a fat body, always felt like there was a skinny me that wanted out.

[ceecee08]

Thanks Seth I will check.

Have a good day!!!!

[Meek75]

Hiya Seth! I have a new journal so please visit me when you can. Also, I'm hitting the gym today. WHOO HOO!!! .

Have a good day.

[slh72454]

I will be sure and check it out!

Well yesterday wasn't as fantastic as they normally are. I only did about half of my workout because I was just too tired. I managed to burn 500 calories and did thirty three minutes on the elliptical instead of my usual hour and five. I came home and was asleep by six and slept til four thirty this morning. I guess I just needed some extra rest because I feel fine now. I still hate that I slacked out yesterday though. I know it won't hurt me, but I feel the pressure that I cannot trip up on stuff.

Today is a new day, gotta think in those terms.

[kittycitygirl]

Rest is good for you too Seth...make sure you are getting enough. Stress is bad. Try not to stress out about the "slacking". Your body needed the rest.

[slh72454]

Thats what I keep telling myself, lol.

[Star73]

Don't be so hard on yourself Seth! Your body was telling you to slow down, probably after the week you had last week with all of the stress! I hope today is a better day for you

[ceecee08]

Good going Seth!!! At least you worked out! REST UP... you need it!

[Meek75]

Hi Seth. I agree with the others. Rest is good. And, at least you didn't take the day off... 30 minutes is more than enough exercise, so you're doing great. Keep at it and have a great day.

Meek

[slh72454]

I was back to my old self today. I felt fine and the extra rest really helped I think. The workout was more or less effortless again which felt good.

Now for some dinner and to watch the new show "Ringer".

[Meek75]

Glad to hear you're feeling better. Have a good night.

[slh72454]

It's Thursday morning, one more day til Friday and a little relaxation. Thank you Lord!

[kittycitygirl]

Originally Posted by slh72454

It's Thursday morning, one more day til Friday and a little relaxation. Thank you Lord!

I hear ya Seth! Have a great day!

[slh72454]

Just wanted to say that I'm wearing a size Medium shirt today.

[Star73]

Wow a medium?? wtg Seth! Now you can shop anywhere and buy clothes That must feel awesome

[slh72454]

I guess I can do that now, but the old version of me still looks at all those stores and thinks, I can't go in there. It's weird trying to work your mind around old habits and thoughts.

Of course my wallet also says "you can't go in there" too, but that's for other reasons, lol.

[Meek75]

Originally Posted by slh72454

It's Thursday morning, one more day til Friday and a little relaxation. Thank you Lord!

YES!! I'll be glad when this work week is OVER!

- on wearing a size medium shirt today!

Go Seth - Gooooo!!

[ceecee08]

Originally Posted by slh72454

Just wanted to say that I'm wearing a size Medium shirt today.

WOOOOOO FREAKING HOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*high five* Seth that is great!!!!

[godsbeloved79]

Originally Posted by slh72454

I was back to my old self today. I felt fine and the extra rest really helped I think. The workout was more or less effortless again which felt good.

Now for some dinner and to watch the new show "Ringer".

Good Morning Seth, glad to hear all is back to normal.

I watched Ringer for the first time Tues night and fell in love with the show. How many episodes have I missed?

[godsbeloved79]

Originally Posted by slh72454

Just wanted to say that I'm wearing a size Medium shirt today.

That's awesome Seth, congrats .

[rice paddie]

Originally Posted by slh72454

Just wanted to say that I'm wearing a size Medium shirt today.

That's great! I'm so excited for you!!

I totally feel ya about the old habits dying hard and having trouble adjusting to the new size though. I've lost 32lbs and my clothes are baggy and don't quite fit right but I'm afraid to go buy new clothes just yet. It's like I'm afraid I'm going to jinx myself if I really start believing that I've lost weight and that I'm going to continue to lose. So, I just keep wearing my big pants and ill-fitting tops.

I don't know - was there a point for you, Seth, when you really started believing that the weight loss was happening and that it was going to be permanent?

[slh72454]

Lyn, the first episode aired this week so you're right at the start. I liked it, it was good to see Sarah Michelle Gellar back on tv. I've missed "Buffy", lol.

As far as a point where I started to think the weight loss was happening. I think I had lost close to fifty pounds before it seemed to sink in and I could actually see it in the mirror you know. I didn't drop a pant or clothing size for months and until that started to happen, it really put me off. I didn't feel like it was going to be a permanent thing until I hit under 200 because that was something I'd never down to before and now it feels like more of a lifestyle change than just a quick fix. I feel like having a year under my belt makes it more real and not something I can just walk away from.

[slh72454]

The weekend is upon me and so far I've been relaxing. I spent most of last night at my uncle's house with my family. We try to go visit him fairly often since his wife passed in May, it's a big house and I know he must be lonely. We watched a movie and had dinner and then today I went shopping with my mother and then had lunch with all of them again.

The subject of weight loss has been tossed around the past two days, my mother thinks I look too thin, she worries, but I have told her countless times that I am eating and this is not a starvation thing. Everyone looked at me at lunch when I just ordered a small salad and then kept asking me if I wanted more because it was so small. I was perfectly filled up on the salad and didn't need anything else.

I do keep thinking that 170 is definatly the place to stop and begin to maintain. I had thrown around the idea of trying to go lower, but last night when I got home, I snapped a few pictures due to boredom and when I looked at them, I honestly did not know the guy in those pictures. I mostly took them from the shoulders up and couldn't believe just how skinny I looked. I think at least for that part of me, I am finished and don't need to lose any weight there. Now my stomach and chest and thighs are another story, but I think now that most of it is just skin and not actual fat. How do you tell? I am thinking that the best thing to do once I hit 170 is to continue the exercise, but start to concentrate on weight lifting to tone the skin and also being to add in carbs. I'm going to do my research because this is very much new to me, but I will add in maybe ten a week and see how that goes when it comes to weight. I suppose I can do this to a point and see how much my body can take daily before I start to gain. It should prove interesting for sure.

[Jayce]

Good afternoon to ya. Read through your journal, & it encouraged me to get that proverbial "fire lit under my a$$." Looking forward to seeing more of your journey. I'm Jamie, btw.

Enjoy your Sunday!

[Star73]

Seth, that's a great problem to have, not knowing where to stop with weight loss. LC has definitely worked for you and you are such an inspiration to me. I know your mom is concerned because she hasn't seen you this thin in a long time. Mothers are supposed to worry.

I know you will figure out where you are comfortable. I can't wait to have this problem