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Old 04-11-2011, 05:21 AM   #1471
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martini- You go girl, what a great post!!! I am so proud of you for embracing your inner diva, I know you are hot you just dont post so we are not jealous!!!!! LOL
I found my heels are much easier to walk in since losing some weight although some heels remain just that, throw me down and do me heels, LOL Glad you were shaking the booty and having fun!!!!

Angela darling I am so proud of you, sexy sneeks, and a magenta water bottle? WOW!!!! You are going to be rocking this plan!!!!! Its 5:19 are you up yet? LOL

Let us know how you did, and big kuddos passing up all that stuff at Costco, no cream? That is huge!!!!!! You can do it!!! I wave my crystal ball for Reva, I am predicting, 247 by next Monday for you and *07 for Martini!!!! I am Karnack I am always right!

how slug like do I feel? You girls are all getting moving and here I sit like a huge slug, ah well, I think one more week and I am going back for cardio, this is killing me!

Good luck HH unite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 04-11-2011, 06:35 AM   #1472
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Good morning ladies! So far, so good! My color coded excell sheet told me to get up at 6, have coffee and **** around on the internet--- and so I am!

Martini, Laura and Diane: LET'S DO THIS!

Amber: You do it later! Please allow yourself to heal, don't push!

Martini, I broke by shaver! The foil cracked! I don't know what happened to it, I don't remember dropping it-- it may have been my son who didn't know any better. Yes, I'll just blame my innocent son. It couldn't have possibly been me and my industrial steel beard! So, I'm back to using my husband's. He now knows I use it and he just shrugged. I love my laid back Hawaiian! I also had to get re-aquainted with my Venus leg razor... I have the nice smooth legs again, and my leg hairs are all PO'ed about it. They had the run of the place for a while, but I'm enough of a spectacle in a gym or a pool without the added bonus of Chewbacca legs. I think I lost a pound just shaving!
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Old 04-11-2011, 06:56 AM   #1473
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Angela, I hear you on the hairiness. I could easily lose a few pounds in hair removal. It's more like deforestation.
I do need to say thank you Angela! You once again pointed em to "The Mood Cure" and I am getting so much great info out of it. I want to try several things to see if I can feel even better than I do now.

Martini look at you! Rocking it out with the fancy bronze jacket and new hairdo! I just bet you turned all the heads there
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Old 04-11-2011, 11:40 AM   #1474
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Operation: Get My Ass To The Gym.... SUCCESS!

20 minutes elliptical
40 minutes all over the weight room

I did not exert myself much, I had a nice comfortable pace, and the lightest weights possible. But, I was there and I did it and I feel good. I was a little put off that there was a row of treadmills behind the row of ellipticals, but I just tore a page from Martini's attitude handbook and said SCREW IT! They can just enjoy the view of my magnificent ass.
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Old 04-11-2011, 11:46 AM   #1475
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Yeah I am so proud of you !!!!! I am so glad I got penciled into the spreadsheet! Can I be purple? LOL I love purple, LOL

Yeah you got a booty people are paying good money for, shake it!!!! LOL
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Old 04-11-2011, 01:23 PM   #1476
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Ang I just did 10 mins on the treadmill with the incline way up and going @ 3.0. Dang I am out of breath and me legs feel like noodles. Is it really worth it? I guess maybe it is.
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Old 04-11-2011, 01:39 PM   #1477
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Laura the is the best steepest incline slower pace for as long as you can!

me- slugsville!
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Old 04-11-2011, 01:53 PM   #1478
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YEAH! LAURA! That's way more than I did. I just took it easy while you blasted off like a rocket! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLAURA!
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Old 04-11-2011, 01:54 PM   #1479
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Ang you did awesome, if I could afford the gym I would be there, instead I have to hoof it at home.
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Old 04-11-2011, 02:00 PM   #1480
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I really couldn't afford it either, but I've tried the staying at home thing and I always failed. I'm lucky we have a terrific parks and rec here, so the fees are very minor compared to a "real" gym. The pass I bought today will get me into any of their weight rooms or any of their pools!
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Old 04-11-2011, 02:29 PM   #1481
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I am super proud of both of you for working out!!!
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Old 04-11-2011, 02:42 PM   #1482
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Thanks, Janet! One day is no biggee-- day after day, that's the hard part! I'll be coming in here looking for inspiration, that's for sure!

I'm a little bummed that I'VE FORGOTTEN HOW TO BE PHOTOGRAPHED. The other night when we went to the Hoop Summit I actually made a little effort to look nice-- hair and make-up, you know, because I might accidently run into Nicolas Batum and we may embrace before security pulls me off-- So, I asked my husband to take some pics of me so I can have a new profile pic. UGH! GAH! What happened to me?? I looked nice in the mirror, but the photos-- OMG they were awful. It was like I forgot! I use to be a model for crying out loud! It wasn't the chubby face that bothered me, hell my profile pic now is chubby and I don't think it's a bad pic-- but these-- crap, I looked demented in some, fake in others, awkward in the rest. <shakes head>
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Old 04-11-2011, 03:29 PM   #1483
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rofl @ until security pulled me off!!!

Well practice and take more pics. more more more

And a BIG woo hoo on going to the gym!!!!!!!!!! 20 mins on an eliptical is no small feat! Well done girls!
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Old 04-11-2011, 04:30 PM   #1484
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Ang- you gotta strike a pose!!!! Have your son take a bunch and then see which one looks the best, yeah we need new photos!!!!! I am sure you look great!
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Old 04-11-2011, 07:21 PM   #1485
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Ladies, I need some serious advice-- I am very troubled right now, and maybe one of you can help me. I just found out that my mother has been binging and lying. She almost died last year because of all the lying, and she promised she would stop. Well, she hasn't. This woman is obese, has severe diabetes, a dead thyroid, and a host of other problems too numerous to list. Over the last year, I have managed to get her to see her doctor regularly (insead of lying to me about it) and to finally get her feet to the podiatrist (instead of lying to me about it) and to finally have the help of a Diabetic specialist (Instead of lying to me about it.) I make her a perfect Atkins breakfast almost every morning, I make her a perfect Atkins dinner almost every night. (And when it isn't me, it's my sister doing the same thing.) I send food home with her. I make low carb treats and give her some, and some more to take home. I buy her low carb food at costco or trader joes. I bought her a scale so she could see some success.

I have been researching incessantly to figure out why her blood sugar isn't where it's suppose to be and why she isn't losing any weight. Well, now it's all perfectly clear: She's a liar. She's been lying all this time, keeping up a really good low carb act. My sister found a reciept today for McDonalds, several happy meals, six cookies, 2 chocolate milks and I didn't hear the rest because my head exploded.

The problem isn't the "why." I understand the why. I understand fat is a complex organism that drives you to do stupid things. I understand binging behavior. Heck, I even understand the pathological lying.

I don't understand what I can do now. I love my mom, she's a really good person. But I also know her very very well-- if confronted, she's like a cornered animal and will lash out, cry, run away, get indignant, get angry, accuse me of snooping, somehow make it seem I hate America, you know the type.

I don't know how to "confront" her without confronting her. I want to help her! Well, I was helping her, and she made me feel like I was helping her, but she was secretly destroying all the help I thought I was giving. I guess I now know that sabotaging jackassery is hereditary!

So, I guess I'm asking if anyone here has any advice on how to deal with this sticky situation? Has anyone been a binger and a liar, or dealt with a binger and a liar-- and had a positive outcome? I don't want to upset her and make her shut down on herself and make it all worse; but she needs to know I know, and she needs to STOP IT. Stop the lying, stop the binging. Especially stop the lying. The binging we can work through, I can help her by making allowable stuff to binge on until she can break herself free and get away from such destructive-- and involuntary--- behavior.

I also have to work through my own anger, I've been working so hard to help her-- a lot of time, a lot of money-- and she's only 60. I shouldn't have to completely baby her like a toddler or a 100 year old. I have my own BS to deal with, my own health struggles, my own house-- I can't do everything for her. I just can't.

Sigh.

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Old 04-12-2011, 02:06 AM   #1486
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Ouch Angela that sounds like an extremely sticky situation. I am so sorry you have to go through this. I am not sure what you can do in that situation. You do need to let her know that you know and you really need to let her know how you feel. She has to understand how concerned you are for her and how much effort you have put into helping her, but without putting her in a defensive pose...which is SO difficult. I wish my hubby was home right now so I could ask him how he would handle it. He is amazing in how he looks at situations and approaches them completely different than I would. He defused an explosive situation with my son and sister recently in such a way that I was in awe. The man has skillz
I think it is hard to know how to deal with someone if you dont know them though. Everyone has different buttons. Would it be better if you wrote her a letter? That way you could get your thoughts down without emotions muddying the waters. I only know that you need to set some kind of boundries. It is not fair to you to do all this work and worrying for her to just throw it to the wind. I do hope she realizes how much you love her and how much she needs to take care of her health if not for herself then at least for those around her that love her so much!
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Old 04-12-2011, 02:41 AM   #1487
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Ang, sorry sweetie, I don't have any advice to give you...my mom has lived 180 miles from me for the last 37 yrs. I do know how I felt when I found out she wasn't taking her HBP meds and almost had a stroke, BUT.. you can't make them do what they don't want to do. Just step back some and let her realize what she's doing to herself, ultimately it's got to be her choice how she eats. Talk you you later, try and have a good day.
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Old 04-12-2011, 05:07 AM   #1488
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Ang- you are always the good advice giver and now it sucks you got this so close to home. You were telling me how you do all this for her, the thing is that you have to remember is that she has food issues obviously that is what got her into the position that she is in now. I think the best thing to do is say Mom I am concerned, I know you say you are eating X, but your blood sugar readings and weight loss are pointing otherwise! Tell her how much you love her, and how much you want her around for her Grandson, and I would reiterate, Mom if you feel like eating junk I want you to call me, my sis whatever and we will talk you through it. I would get her some books to read on binging and food addiction. I had a terrible binge/hiding problem when I was young, I had a closet full of stuff, and when my Mom and step Dad were fighting I remember sitting in my bedroom closet eating, and even through my early 20's. There was an episode of Heavy it was month 5 at the treatment center and the one girl lost almost 100 pounds and was hiding food in her closet, even with all that success they never addressed her real issues! It is a serious problem! I think all you can do is be honest tell her how much you love her and want to help her and perhaps attend an Overeaters Anonymous meeting with her, maybe find a meeting near you and don't tell her just pick her up and take her in!! Or tell her you want to go and you need her support, it might be good anyway for the both of you but it will make it look like you need the help? You know what I mean? I think that might be helpful I actually attended some of them and they are helpful in addressing why, make you realize you are not alone. I don't know how I finally broke my habit, but it took a long time, I would buy like 2 bags of chips and eat them in the car and throw them away so no one saw, I remember I was in CA so I was in my early 20's. I think I then just didn't care and ate openly, and got to 350 by just being a hog openly! Somehow I learned to deal with it, I read several books, but she needs help cause she has serious medical conditions. I will pray for you on this one I know how hard it is confronting Mom's but ultimately they love you more than anything, and you have to show them that! This is a toughie hun!
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Old 04-12-2011, 08:09 AM   #1489
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Angela, I am so sorry I have no words of advice for you but wanted to let you know that you and your mom will be in my thoughts today.
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Old 04-12-2011, 09:24 AM   #1490
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Angela,
I am sorry you have this going on in your life. It hurts us to see someone we love especially a parent suffering this way. I look at food addiction the same way as any other addiction. I feel like you have done your part and so has your sister and whoever else has been trying to help her, but ultimately she is choosing her path and apart of being with her 24/7 and watching her every move there is no way to stop her. This is something she has to hit bottom and realize what she is doing to her body and to her health and to her family. Some people never even get to there bottom..You can only do so much, and you have a life, husband and family to be there for also, it's hard to help someone who won't help themself. I lived with a drug addict for many years and this is what I came to realize. I know that food and drugs are different but the addiction is still the same, and she is still going to kill herself if she doesnt stop. Good luck, what a hard place to be in.
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Old 04-12-2011, 09:34 AM   #1491
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Hey Hun I was still thinking about you and your Mom this website has a lot of good articles and advice, check it out it might help!

How to Help Someone Going Through Addiction Recovery | Overcome Food Addiction
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Old 04-12-2011, 11:02 AM   #1492
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Angela,
Unfortunately, I have to agree with Butterflystar on this based on personal experience. But my suggestion would be to reach out to a third party like a doctor, clergy or other professional your mother would listen to and trust who can convince her she needs to get some counseling. This is not about food. Something else is going on to cause your mother to act this way and lie to you.

My dad had to go into therapy years ago because he was having such severe night terrors that my mother was scared for herself and all of us. He went ballistic and said we all thought he was crazy and that we were the crazies, etc. He hated it at first but it helped him talk about some awful things from his childhood that no one had any idea had happened to him. His night terrors never really stopped but he learned to wake himself up by using a specific item placed on his nightstand that wasn't supposed to be there so that when he saw it he got confused and woke up. I'm not saying any of this applies to your mother, but if therapy could help my father I think it could help anyone. He's still a freaking nut job but I love him!

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Old 04-12-2011, 11:25 AM   #1493
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Dear all my sweet and caring friends, thank you! Your support and helpful words mean so much to me, and they have helped me do what needed to be done.

I went to my mom's this morning (bringing breakfast of bacon and eggs, natch) and after we ate, I just laid it all out there. I told her I knew she was binging at McDonald's, and I wanted to help her because I loved her. At first she was indignant and wouldn't look at me and accused me of spying-- the usual-- but I kept my head and kept it kind. I didn't go down the accusatory and angry path (I got that out of my system last night) and we just talked. Eventually she broke down her wall and really talked to me. Without going into too much painful detail, I talked her into doing several things to help herself. Firstly, she is contacting her doctor today and setting up some Mental Health asistance, she desperately needs a therapist or a psychiatrist and has always outright refused to see one because she vehemently thinks they're hippie quacks... I convinced her to go anyway, despite what she feels about the profession. She just needs to find one she likes. She has also agreed to read through the "Mood Cure" with me tomorrow morning and take all the tests, and see if any extra aminos will help her feel better. She has also agreed to binge on low carb food instead of high carb food. She still has complete ingrained Weight Watchers Guilt, and has trouble JUST EATING. My sister and I will also be helping her keep her house clean, and there are bathing issues as well, but I think I don't need to discuss that. She is a great big mess... but the fact that she is willing to do all these things-- especially seeing a therapist-- is just HUGE.

Unfortunately, my sister and I will have to watch her like a hawk, because she is a liar. (We've been through all this before, helped her, thought she was good, and BAM! She slips right back to square one--and lying about it--all over again.) So you can see she's not quite trustable. We'll just have to really make sure she does these things, including going with her to the appointments.

My mom is a really good person and I know she wants to feel better and not be this way anymore. She just doesn't know what to do, and it all snowballs. First we need to get her blood sugar fixed (low carb all the time, even during binges) and get her brain chemistry balanced (The Mood Cure) and she needs to learn how to be okay with herself and her situation (the therapist.)

It's a start, and hopefully if we can keep her there long enough she can be her old independant self again.

Thanks again for all the caring and thoughtful words, I know that was a bummer of a post, but I really needed support. You guys are the best!

I missed my swimming window this morning, but they have a lap swim at noon, I can still catch that one.

all of you!
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Old 04-12-2011, 11:52 AM   #1494
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So glad that you were able to sit down and have a calm and level headed discussion with her! Fantastic that she agreed to see some sort of counseling. If she doesn't like who she sees make sure she realizes that many people dont like the first person they see and she shouldn't give up because of that. Sometimes it takes meeting a few before you have the right person to help you.
Also glad to hear she is willing to work with you. I am so proud of you! I am sure that was difficult and took courage. I think you did the right thing and now she knows how you feel.
Hopefully she will come to realize that she doesn't have to lie and hide things from you, you are right there for her and understand the weaknesses. I know she probably doesn't want to disappoint you and that's why she does it, but when she understands that it's that much more disappointing to you for her to hide it, it might make it easier for her to fess up. No one likes to get caught with their hand in the cookie jar

Hope you have a good swim!
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Old 04-12-2011, 12:52 PM   #1495
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How wonderful that she agreed to the counseling! I'm glad that you were able to have a clear, levelheaded conversation with her and can't imagine how hard that must have been.
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Old 04-12-2011, 01:04 PM   #1496
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Ang that is great that she has agreed to go seek help. Just stand by her and remind her of how much you love her and what she means to you all. That in itself is what it's all about.

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Old 04-12-2011, 01:11 PM   #1497
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Ang!!!! OMG I know how hard it is confronting Mom's, hence last weeks Joe's episode! LOL

I am so PROUD of you, you are doing everything you possibly can to help her and you have to find some peace within yourself about that, this is not your problem it is hers, you are just an aid to help her struggle! I know this was a trying day for you!!! Go do something kind for yourself and know you did the right thing!!!!

Hey I want you to bring me eggs and bacon every morning, LOL
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Old 04-12-2011, 03:04 PM   #1498
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Wow i missed a lot while sleeping.

Angela - yikes!!

What a situation. Thats fantastic that you guys were able to have an open convo and she didn't totally shut down and lock you out. That is a BIG first step. Now the fun part of the follow through. But, at least you guys have bridged that toxic communication stuff and might have a hope of continuing to address some of her issues if she strays big time again and doesn't follow through.

Kind thoughts and big hugs sent your way. I cannot even imagine what you are dealing with my dear.
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Old 04-12-2011, 03:23 PM   #1499
Very Gabby LCF Member!!!
 
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Yeah, I'm pretty pleased with my behavior, frankly. This is not really a new problem, and in the past we just get shrilly and someone storms away, or she just shines me on and says whatever I want to hear to shut me up and leave her alone. This time, it was a little different, I kept my cool, didn't allow anyone to get all shrilly, and really just wanted to make it all about helping HER, and not how difficult it is for ME. I think I really owe this all to Gary Taubes. I really and truly understand what is happening-- it's NOT a willpower thing, it's NOT her just "not wanting it enough." The fact that I actually do understand what it's all about helped my sympathy factor, and helped me to find the right solution for her in a sensative way that didn't put her on the defense. We have a good plan in place, with my brother and sister in on it as well, and hopefully we can help her over this massive hump she's built so she can feel better and start being a regular person again.

She would just die if she knew I was talking to anyone about it, so hopefully she never finds me here!
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Old 04-12-2011, 03:37 PM   #1500
Way too much time on my hands!
 
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Ang- that is great!!! You are lucky to have sibling support too that is a big step! Obviously your Mom has serious health issues, keep us posted, I still think OA is a good thing, I went to a couple of meetings, that Twelve Step works for some people and its always nice to have support!
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