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Old 08-24-2010, 07:21 PM   #1
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No... that's a lotta meat on dem bones too!

Hi my name is Keshia, and I am going to lose this weight. I've never been a "normal size" person. In 6th grade I remember weighing 187lb. I can never forget) that weigh day because we did it in front of the whole class! Of course that made me the laughing stock and I just ate more.

My whole family is overweight. My 8 sisters, brother's (not as big), so on and so forth. Thank God my kids get thier size from thier father, he's 6'4 195lbs of lean. My sister's and I always were gonna start Monday, but somehow we never could find eachother and didn;t care.

Back in 2003 while pregnant feeling bloated and disgusted, I somehow came across Atkin's 2002 (i think) and was anxious to try. So after giving birth I was right on it. I lost 60lbs in 5mths, but I was not very committed so I kept slipping and finally gave up. I can say it was a lotta things in my life that raised havoc, but I'll just say it was my own commitment issues.

It is up to me to be the cheerleader of me. My health is declining slowly, but nothing I can't nip in the bud and turn around. I wanna know what it feels like to just FIT!! Fit into regular "pretty" clothes, FIT into theater chairs without them pinching my skin! FIT my wedding ring, and watches that don't stretch! I just wanna fit into the real world, because the real world will not conform to me.

I am an outgoing type but anxiety keeps me at home. Home is my safe place and if I dont have to work or something I absolutely must do. I don't leave home. Now with the injuries i have... things are even worse.

I didnt want to post a journal yet, didnt think I should until i'd lost a lot. But God only knows I really mean it... I can't keep watching life pass me by, I wanna be right there in it. In my own little nook of the world, I just wanna live a fullfilling life.

This is my journal... "The Shrinking Bones Of Keshia" my goal is to get healthy, and to FIT! My goal weight may be high, but that's unheard of for me. That'll be my next starting point.

Major NO's for ME;

No binging
No eating for comfort
No chocolate attacks
No sweet attacks period.
Write in journal weekly, update progress!
-------------------------

Stay on induction for 1mth (for now)
Get to moving (slowly):blush:

Hope to get to 299lb b4 my b-day NOV 12 ambitious
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Old 08-24-2010, 10:41 PM   #2
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Hi Bigbones!!! I read your story and can relate on most of the things you said. Yes, it's hard to lose weight and keep it off. This is the first time in my life that I've become obese. My BMI (Body/Mass/Index) is about 33, but should be around 22. It's amazing how things like life get in the way, doesn it? But, from what you've just said about yourself and how determinded you are... shows that you have the motivation to get to your goal. I go a weightloss clinic and get counselling, plus weight management. Without them I won't be where I am today. Now adays you need a supportive friend or a support group to help you reach your attainable goals, big or small. I know you can do this!!! You have the determination to get healthy again, and you've inspired me to do the same. Take care.

God bless,
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Old 08-25-2010, 01:00 AM   #3
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Hi Keshia, I do feel your pain, my girl. I feel exactly how you feel ... I've been hiding in my own shell for too long now and I just want to fit into a normal world too. I am stopping stuffing myself with foods that are just killing me!

I'm so glad you joined our small group in our new thread. I know that together we can do it.

Regarding uploading my picture, I tried everything, and I just don't know what I am doing. Maybe hubby can help me tomorrow night. I'll try to add an avatar for now and see if that works. I have a MacBook and things are a bit different here.

Tammy, why don't you join us on this journey ... you have the experience and looking at your results, you've accomplished a lot. You certainly can help some of us get there ...
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Old 08-25-2010, 05:05 AM   #4
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Thank you Star and Angie... for taking the time to be a part of my journal and my journey!

StAR yOU are so right, no matter how much we think we don't need people, we do. People make the world go around and u can't live in a world by urself. This lcf board are so amazing and helpful, and so inspiring. I sit here for haours reading old and new threads and I am flabbergasted!


To think these beautiful people started were I am now is just more than any diet pill, book, infomercial could ever do. It gives me so much hope!

Star I love your readings over in sister's in christ. God is good, all the time!!

My friend Angie .. You did huh? Got ur pic uploaded.. Well U look Mahvalous Dahling just beautiful. You know what people say to us don't u? "oh u have a beautiful face" I'm like ok what about the rest! I just love those back handed comment's!!

Girl I have nice curves under all these rolls!

Thanks again my beautiful ladies for taking the time to just say
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Old 08-25-2010, 01:38 PM   #5
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Hey Keshia...Just wanted to pop in to say hi. I love your attitude and I think you're gonna do it this time. Just hang in there and keep saying NO to those things you know won't give you the life you want. But there are soooo many yummy and healthy things that you can say YES to!

I think you made the right decision in starting a journal. I started one a while ago and am soo glad I did. When I'm starting to get off track, re-reading my journal is a wonderful way to inspire myself. Keep checking in here. You won't regret it!
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Old 08-25-2010, 01:57 PM   #6
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Hey Keshia!!! I have to say I wish I started a journal when I started Atkins in 2003 .. I did start in 2006 and it has been a great place to just go in and work out my feeling some times, rant and rave when necessary and meet with friends who want to talk about some of the same things I do.

I relate so well to your journal entry. I was always the fat kid - from the time I was a toddler until I found Atkins as a 38 year old. My mother tells stories about me looking for food as a kid and thinks it is so funny and endearing when it just breaks my heart to hear it.

I would never have believed I could do this. It was all I ever wanted for myself. I've been on these boards for 7 years and I have seen a lot, but I do know you can do this no matter what past attempts you have made that did not last -- they were just learning experiences which will help you build a lifestyle that works for you now, this time.

Keep journaling!!!!! You'll get this done!!!!!!!!!



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Old 08-25-2010, 07:15 PM   #7
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Hey clutterbug and tada! thanks for being apart of my journey.

I dont think I did to good today, My appetite is completely gone... Been eating mostly meat today and had 3 cups coffee.


b: 5 asparagus spears in butter. 3oz pork loin roast. cofffee (I know late...)
l: 5oz pork loin roast. coffee
d: 12 in beef sausage link, coffee


Had lots of water and a few sips of acv plus multi vit.

Did some stretching and arm rotations with full ragu jugs and my 1y old

I have never not been hungry like this, its good in some way, Dont wether to complain or jump for joy

My daughters b-day cake finally got thrown out and it still didnt tempt me 1 bit, since her party Sun. Yay Me!!

Im so proud to be amongst such a powerful and inspiring group of people.

So this begins my journey, My on-going never ending journey. Im sure there will be many many ups, along with a few downs. Those downs [B]will[B][B] be met with the strentgh of a tiger. The understanding of a beloved dog, run a scuffling away as the ferociousness as the King Lion protecting his/her temple.

Doing some research on the effects I'll have on what can happen if I dont eat enough (veg). Goodnite.
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Old 08-26-2010, 07:26 AM   #8
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Only ate meat yesterday, and a few asparagus... I know I need more veggies but it's hard when appetite is completely gone. I think I can afford to get away with it for a few. idk. 10 days cheat free.
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Old 08-27-2010, 08:23 AM   #9
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Hey bigbone! First things first, we need to change that screen name You aren't going to be "bigbone" for much longer ok? I can soooo relate to your story. I had the unfortunate experience of being an overweight child/teenager and adult. My highest weight (prior to pregnancy) was 230 when I was about 20. I lost a lot of weight my second year of college though, and dropped to about 155. It felt great! I maintained that pretty well for quite a while, but the weight thing is a constant struggle for me too. Bottom line is that you can do it. Just commit to it and envision yourself in your new Beyonce bod like I do! Keep up the great work!
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Old 08-27-2010, 09:12 AM   #10
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Hey bigbone! Just wanted to stop in and say hello!

I want you to know that YOU are an inspiration and motivator just because you are here and doing what you need to do to get healthy and fit for life.

Great job girl! You are going to do it! I know you are! I believe in YOU!

Stay strong and keep moving forward! Every day is a new chance to change!

Looking forward to seeing your two week weigh in!
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Old 08-27-2010, 10:33 AM   #11
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Ima go ahead and claimed the rest of this day as cheat free... okaayy so lets c... 1,2,3,6,8,10,12 days cheat free. 12/12!
I cant say its been hard, Its really true... If u stick to plan ur cravings and hunger would be absolete. I cant say that b4 when I tried this WOE 7yrs ago. I tried for 5mths and I cheated for 5 mths. Low and behold I still managed to rid myself of 60lbs.guess i couldve done even better had I stayed on plan. :blush:

Water water water! Im drinking it by the jug full! Im about to move my desk into the bathroom a few inches from the potty. And when the baby comes in to potty Hey I'll already be there... I forget how hard It was to be a stay at home mom. I've been on FMLA for 2 mths and O MY LAWD!!

My hats off to all the homemaker's. I usually work 8am-3pm get home get dinner ready, and about 5-6p daycare brings kids home, by that time we've missed eachother so much all we did was hug kiss read stories, do homework, eat dinner, and I just enjoy them. But let me say... since being home 24/7 along with my 1 1/2 yr old, I pray for his nap time... does that sound bad? Oh well its the truth! I love em to pieces but i'm ready to go to work My babies good for this diet tho, he keeps me moving, he's better than therapy!

Still haven't weighed not going to til end of pre induction. *Come on big #'s* So I'll wait. Like I told my friends in pen pal thread, I feel my neck shrinking, the hump on the back of this neck is melting away goodbye hump U not welcome here NO MO! Im so happy and focused, and this time... This time it will bw different. (Bikini 2011) here I come... Did I say bikini? I meant "tankini."

Hotchick u are gorgeous girl, Good going on the lbs.
Thanks for come in by my house Tryagain yall take ur shoes and make urself comfy Come by anytime, all of u! U guys are the amazing ones!

b: deviled eggs. bacon. coffee
l: sauteed beef sausage w/onions n spinach. coffee
d: lettuce tuna roll ups. bacon. lemon tea

Thats my "supposedly menu" idk not really hungry... still. And I neva said that B4!

Be blessed all! stay strong and picture the prize
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Old 08-27-2010, 11:09 AM   #12
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Glad to hear you're shrinking! I wondered when you were going to change your current weight. Can't wait to hear.....but if you're "hump" is disappearing, that number don't matter much!
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Old 08-27-2010, 02:49 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by clutterbug View Post
Glad to hear you're shrinking! I wondered when you were going to change your current weight. Can't wait to hear.....but if you're "hump" is disappearing, that number don't matter much!
Hey clutterbug!! Yes girl the hump is getting bumped!!!!

How does it feel to be in Onederland?.... Oh my the day I do...!!! It will be a celebration U Neva will believe!!
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Old 08-27-2010, 02:59 PM   #14
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I'm sitting here minding my own buisness... when dh walks in from work with a 12pk for him and a bottle of wine for me! I was just telling my girls that I wanted some vodka but I want to fight the urge!!

Im not touching the wine... no without a doubt, that's out! But oh how I want just a lil swig of the hard stuff.

*rationalizing* it is low carb.... like maybe 1 or 1 1/2 drinks mixed withhhh... sprite 0?

Just wanna feel a lil thats all.

Hold out! Hold out! Hold out! Be strong! Be strong! Be strong!
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Old 08-27-2010, 08:38 PM   #15
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I caved on the vodka, @ 2-3 shot mixed w/ sprite 0! AAARRRGGGHHHHH! okay back on track tomorrow! Hope this won't affect my first weigh in, in a few days. water, water, water, chug chug chug, flush, flush flush!
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Old 08-27-2010, 08:43 PM   #16
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*Note to self* ketostix dark as they've ever been. Once in 03-04 I thought they didnt work for me, now I see they do. Been eating mostly protein and fat, due to loss of appetite, guess thats what got me in deep ketosis. yay!
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Old 08-28-2010, 04:57 AM   #17
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Hi Keshia, can I cheer you on too? You're doing great!
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Old 08-28-2010, 08:05 PM   #18
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Hi Keisha love your blog! Keep up the good work you are doing fine! You can do just be strong! We can all do it, we will get to our goal!
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Old 08-29-2010, 06:42 PM   #19
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thanks

Papermoon,we will do this! I know! and thanks for showing ur support.

and thanks for the support Ricci-doll I need all I can get.

I weighed myself for the first time in over a year... and evidently I gained quit a bit since my time on the scale. I mean a estimated, so anyway
I have to redo my starting weight at 369lb. I wish I would've got on the scale so Id at least know my progress!!! I can feel it so great in shirts that wouldnt go down (now they do)(well some of em).

Ok so Ima get right in there even harder (although no cheats) I'll start walking, My SIL and I walked a mile today after that let down on the scale, bad back and all!!

Im in this for the long haul....
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Old 08-29-2010, 07:10 PM   #20
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Hey Keshia!! (I am going to call you that from now on..Hotchick had it right, that name is going to have to change!) I liked reading your blog and am very happy to be on this journey with you all in our little group. Knowing that there are others out there doing the same thing is really nice.

I was always fat too...I don't know what it will be like to be "normal"!! But I am willing to find out!

I am a stay home mom of two kids....and I pray for nap time on a daily basis...
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Old 08-29-2010, 07:24 PM   #21
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Hey Keshia!! (I am going to call you that from now on..Hotchick had it right, that name is going to have to change!) I liked reading your blog and am very happy to be on this journey with you all in our little group. Knowing that there are others out there doing the same thing is really nice.

I was always fat too...I don't know what it will be like to be "normal"!! But I am willing to find out!

I am a stay home mom of two kids....and I pray for nap time on a daily basis...
Its nice to have my girls in pen pals to visit me here. Iu guys!
WE'll make it together and thanks for coming by!!

WHEN.... I get to 250lbs I'll change my name then... any suggestions?
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Old 08-29-2010, 08:49 PM   #22
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Hi Keshia, How about "notsobigboned" or "smallfry"-- something cute like that!?
(Okay, I admit it...I am lame!)

I'm rooting for you, doll!
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Old 08-29-2010, 09:38 PM   #23
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Papermoon,we will do this! I know! and thanks for showing ur support.

and thanks for the support Ricci-doll I need all I can get.

I weighed myself for the first time in over a year... and evidently I gained quit a bit since my time on the scale. I mean a estimated, so anyway
I have to redo my starting weight at 369lb. I wish I would've got on the scale so Id at least know my progress!!! I can feel it so great in shirts that wouldnt go down (now they do)(well some of em).

Ok so Ima get right in there even harder (although no cheats) I'll start walking, My SIL and I walked a mile today after that let down on the scale, bad back and all!!

Im in this for the long haul....
Aaawww don't feel bad I'm sure you made a lot of progress! Especially with the shirts that fit you better now. Yes walking will do a lot and is a good exercise!
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Old 08-30-2010, 03:37 PM   #24
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Hey again

You just keep moving forward! Every stumble is another chance to get up and do it again. You know you are seeing progress from your clothes and your body is changing.

I'll be watching your progress! I know you can make it! I'll be there with you on the beach in our tankini's!
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Old 08-31-2010, 05:45 AM   #25
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rsmorales, they both will be considered girl, thx, not lame at all

Papermoon thx, just threw me for a loop, I shoulda weighed in at start but I know I lost. Thx for the support. Also Tryagain thx 2 u too, having support on this llllooooooonnnnnnggggg journey is so great!

So Im still op and will remain that way for a long time. I have no desire to stop now! Full plowing ahead! I am my own biggest loser!

Although I had a small inckling of a cheat coming on yesterday, I fought it and went to bed at 7:30pm... My dh put kids to bed. I was tired anyway did some fall cleaning yesterday, trying to get myself ready for regular excersing by way of short walks. This is the start of a complete lifestyle change not a temp fix.

I got a little teary eyed watching a program were the daughter was getting married and going on with her life. I thought of my baby girl She's only 9 but we all know tomorrow she'll be 20 or it seems like it. I know if I don't get healthy, i wont be here for her or my boys, my 7 and 1 yr old. It breaks my heart to imagine tthem without me and me without them prematurely. I would be so selfish to deny my babies of a mother because I can't stop overeating. This is my last straw. I have hypertension and suffer from depression. Gestational diabetes while pregnant that had the potential to turn into full blown diabetes. so far it hasntby the grace of God!

And with God's grace this walk to health will be a permanent one. I wont go back! I can't go back to the it was... Laying in bed eating all night, not even giving it a second thought. The fried foods and potatoes we;d eat 2-3 nights a week for dinner with big slices of desert. DH bringing me pancakes everywknd in bed. No thanks, not anymore. The funny thing is, I wouldnt let my kids eat the stuff my dh and I ate. I fed them a whole different meal. fruits, wheat breads, string cheeses, jello etc. They had certain things in moderation. But I wouldn't let them pig out on the stuff we did. Its funny I thought so much of my babies, but not enough of myself.

This weight is only my armor, Guess its time to find another way to shield myself, or maybe not. Maybe I'll just let go and let God!
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Old 08-31-2010, 08:22 AM   #26
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That's good Keshia that you made your babies eat goodl and healthy food. Yeah that's the best way and keep it up too! When I was growing up we weren't allowed to have jun k and candy and pop/soda and all of that junk and we rarely at any fast food only like once a month and junk food only on the weekend when we got out allowance. Those were the days! Hahha! The weekends were homemade pizza or homemade burgers and fries dinner day, but for the rest of the week we had to eat healthy real food. So yeah it's good to teach your kids the right way to eat and I had to go back to eating healthy like that too!
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~The woman came from a man's rib. Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but from his side to be equal. Under his arm to be protected, and next to his heart to be loved. ~

Last edited by ~PaperMoon~; 08-31-2010 at 08:24 AM..
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Old 08-31-2010, 12:29 PM   #27
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Keshia, girl, I am so proud of you. You are making progress every single day. Not just with the weight loss, but the mind set too. Believing that you are worth this, knowing that you deserve good health will get you to your goal. Know that there will be bumps in the road along the way, but as long as you can roll with it and make the choices you know you need to to get over it, you will always always succeed my friend. You're an AMAZING person with so much to offer JUST AS YOU ARE, by losing the weight, will allow you to soar higher than you ever dreamed possible. I am thankful that I am along for the ride. You're a true inspiration to me.
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Old 09-01-2010, 12:41 AM   #28
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Hey Danielle, u found me here huh, well thxs and welcomeluv having my gurls here. Papermoon yeah I didnt want them to be like me.

So here it is 3:30am and I just woke up with a bad headache. Went to bed early again @ 7:30pm. So I did get some sleep, though I frequented the potty prob 5 times!

17 days on induction, 17 days cheat free Slowly getting use to this WOE and happy and proud that I have the will power to stay the course!
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Old 09-02-2010, 09:24 AM   #29
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Hi Keshia! You have a great outlook, you can and will do this!
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Old 09-02-2010, 09:44 AM   #30
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17 days cheat free! Woo-Hoo!!!
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