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Old 03-09-2013, 03:02 PM   #331
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Robin Phipps Woodall -

Imagine how you'd eat if there wasn't a diet or exercise???? Would you still entitle the excessive eating knowing the consequence didn't have a way to get removed?
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Old 03-10-2013, 02:06 PM   #332
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Old 03-10-2013, 03:09 PM   #333
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Maybe you could come over my house and have that conversation with me... LOL! I would love to be half as succesful as you are!!! Great self talk gf!!!
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Old 03-10-2013, 03:31 PM   #334
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This is probably the hardest thing I've done and I'm not there yet. I have so long to go but I'm just ready to stop all the BS. I'm desperate for it to change.

It's clear to me how I've been going about things hasn't worked. In fact it's just made the situation worse. What do I have to lose? lol
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Old 03-13-2013, 03:37 AM   #335
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Quick check in. I'm not weighing. I'm on protocol and still working the hunger scale but it's a tricky thing.

Sometimes I'm positive I'm hungry and ready to eat. Other times, not so much. I wish I could get rid of the clocks around me. I have a tendency to look at them for indicators if I should be getting hungry.

I find I'm less interested in the boards as I was. It's soooooooooo focused on diet and craziness.

I got the workbook from WLA and I'm re reading all the science stuff behind the protocol and why people don't do so well with it. The biggest reason is treating it like a diet...it's not a diet. I'm not saying that to just be a pia....it's not about weight loss. It's about fixing your hormones...the weight loss is a side effect of the hormonal balance....just like the weight gain is a side effect of the imbalance. If the protocol is not done correctly you'll not do well in p3 and p4. You know those people who complain that they can't eat anything or they'll gain....that's why. The body's metabolism did not heal itself and they really can't eat anything...nothing got fixed!

I'm not sure how fine a line it is to screw it up though. I'm eating when I'm supposed to and stopping when I'm satisfied but not full but I still wonder if I got it "right" because that's how most of us are...we want to be perfect so badly. I've decided to say...screw perfect. I gave up diet coke and haven't had one for two weeks...till Monday..I had one. I haven't had one since and I don't plan on having one but every once in a while....yah I'm going to have a diet coke because I LIKE them.

I've spent so much of my life trying to get everything just right and if I deviated from "my rules" one tiny little bit I was so disappointed in myself and it was off to the races. No more. I had a freaking diet coke on Monday. I enjoyed it and guess what..life goes on. I don't feel bad about myself because I broke my streak.....who cares. I had more days without one than I have with one...so yay me. I'm just not going to feel guilty over the little stuff anymore. I've got better things to do with my time.

Progress not perfection.
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Old 03-13-2013, 08:22 AM   #336
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LOVE it! Can I quote you in my journal... again??? LOL!
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Old 03-14-2013, 08:57 AM   #337
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Take whatever you like. If I say anything that helps you in anyway I'm glad.

I'm doing ok today. Still trying to get a handle on the hunger thing. I need to watch some of my favorite videos. It seems like if I don't watch them to remind myself WHY I'm doing it with the hunger scale ect I tend to forget and want to get sloppy.

Something I heard this morning struck a chord with me. I realize that we are not supposed to treat P2 like a diet. I get that....but the reality is....IT IS a diet. I know it's so much more and how important it is to stick to plan but realistically we are on a restricted food plan until we are are in P4. I keep telling myself that it's ok because the big picture is what's important and in order to get to the freedom I have to go through this process first. I hate P2 for that reason. I just hate being restricted.

I have two events I need to deal with that I can't get out of. I am going out with the bf this Sunday to some place in CT but not exactly sure where. I'm guessing I can get a salad and protein...that's pretty common. Next week is my Dad's bday and we are all going out for dinner. I know the restaurant...I can probably check online to see if they have a menu. I'll do the best I can....I think I can figure something out..the only places that would be a total bust I think would be chinese or italian...crossing my fingers Sunday isn't either of those.

I can't get over how well these pellets work. I feel the same way as I did on RX. I KNOW hhcg works because when I take RX hcg the first two days I'm nauseas...like...morning sickness nausea....I get the same exact reaction when I take hhcg so. The bad news is the company that makes them doesn't anymore which is a shame. They are less convenient than a shot but I won't do shots. I do like my rx sublingual. I'm just glad they work.
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Old 03-15-2013, 04:04 AM   #338
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My day was eh yesterday. I for some bizarre reason got into crap yesterday at 3:00. WTH! I was tired and cold but I was NOT hungry. I wanted comfort and a nap...which I took but that was after I did the damage....honestly I'm such a twit. The rest of the day/night I was fine.

There are times when I am absolutely obsessed with eating something and until I do I can't stop thinking about it. I will say I'm improving as far as not stretching these episodes out and the amount of food isn't that much but it's not really the point.

I have 19 more days on protocol and then I'm onto P3. I wish I could make it go by faster but I can't. I do hate wishing my life away...that's just sad to me.

The bf and I MIGHT not be going Sunday. He realized that this thing we were going to starts at 12 and it's in CT and I'm in MA and he's on one side and I'm on the other and he's working a 24hr shift tomorrow so he'll have to do some major running around and all the driving...for what...2 hrs with a bunch of people we don't know but he said he'd go. He's coming today so I my try to suggest that it might be a better idea if we go when he can spend the night on a Saturday and then we can have a relaxing drive to CT instead of rushing. It wouldn't hurt my feelings if we didn't go but it's up to him...it's his thing.

I did look online for the menu of the place and they had a cobb salad I could get. The other choices for salads weren't that great and the rest of the menu was mostly breakfast type stuff...eggs...crepes...pancakes...the place does look interesting. Lots of artisan type stuff, which I love but...just not now..please.

The dinner next week is a definite so I'll have to look that up online still but if I can get out of one I'll be happy lol

I'm not sure if the bf will notice any weight loss. I didn't see him last week because of the snow we had. I'm not saying anything. I'd like him to notice on his own. I'm not supposed to be dieting because he and I had a long talk and he's tired of me and all the crazy so I agreed I'd give up the scale and just eat like a normal person. I tried that and it wasn't horrible but then I tried to go back to ww and it got horrible fast. That's when I said.....I've had it!! I'm going back to HCG and doing it right this time and get this freaking done with cause I can't stand it anymore. And that's where I am today.

I don't tell him because he won't understand and he'll get upset. This man doesn't take aspirin. He will not get HCG...period. Nor does he understand the addiction/obsession/compulsion/eating disorder that I have. I'm still ticked that this is all caused by dieting. UGGGGH! Self imposed, bound to fail, dieting.

One thing I need to do is mind my own business....if others want to diet and do crazy things to lose the weight or try to keep it off it's none of my business. I get upset because I think they are doing harm to their bodies and they might be but it's not my place to judge or give advice. I was right there with them not that long ago and technically I'm still there trying to get through this so I can get off that merry go round.

Other than this protocol I think I can honestly say I've been cured of dieting. If I can't get this to work I'm screwed. But I will. I don't know how long it will take but I will get it right.
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Old 03-19-2013, 05:14 AM   #339
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Hi Colleen! We are SOO much alike!!! I too have all of the eating issues, obviously, and am learning a new thing with the whole protocol and HSM.

What you described was a CRAVING!!! The good news on it, that I have yet to learn, is that it will pass. Yes, it comsumes you mind, your thoughts, etc. But if we can somehow focus away from it, it will pass!!! The videos of Robin that I watched yesterday was so enlightening. I want to never desire too much food again and to eat when NOT hungry. EVER!!! I want to learn to enjoy every bite and THAT be my satisfied measurement, not the quantity. I BELIEVE this is learnable!!! Just like I would NEVER want a cigarette again, even on my death bed bc I gave them up 18 years ago. SO I NEVER want to binge eat, emotionally eat, compulsively eat, EVER again!!!

I am cheering for you!!!
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Living By Design - Shelle's Journal for HCG Journey

Week One 252.5 - 241.8 (-6.9)
Week Two 241.8 - 239 (-2.8)

Total (-9.7) Not great but other obstacles not beating me!!!
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Old 03-20-2013, 04:33 AM   #340
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I have 13 days left on protocol and TOM is here atm and kicking my butt. I've been on and off protocol and struggling but have just had it with myself.

This emotional eating crap is for the birds! I hate it..HATE it. The premise to only eat when you are hungry is so stinking simple it's pathetic....sooooooooo wth?!

Lots of water today and protein to flush out all the crap. My clothes fit ok but they aren't getting loose either...but at least my pants button!l lol

I'm stopping on my 40th day regardless. I want to take my proper breaks and then get ready for my next round in May. I know I'm stressing my body out doing this and I feel bad so I don't want to extend it longer than necessary. I'd love to get 20lbs off this round total so we'll see.
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Old 03-20-2013, 08:11 AM   #341
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I have 13 days left on protocol and TOM is here atm and kicking my butt. I've been on and off protocol and struggling but have just had it with myself.

This emotional eating crap is for the birds! I hate it..HATE it. The premise to only eat when you are hungry is so stinking simple it's pathetic....sooooooooo wth?!

Lots of water today and protein to flush out all the crap. My clothes fit ok but they aren't getting loose either...but at least my pants button!l lol

I'm stopping on my 40th day regardless. I want to take my proper breaks and then get ready for my next round in May. I know I'm stressing my body out doing this and I feel bad so I don't want to extend it longer than necessary. I'd love to get 20lbs off this round total so we'll see.


It sounds like your protocol schedule is EXACTLY like mine. My ph3 is April and Round 2 is May... but I am adding 5 extra days to my 40 by skipping Sundays dosage.
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Old 03-20-2013, 09:53 AM   #342
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Oh good. We'll be able to cheer each other on in our next phases. I'm planning on loading Mother's Day Weekend. I try to start right at the end of TOM so according to my calendar that's about when it is.

I'm doing really well today....cravings are nill but I'm sticking to protein for a few days just to flush the cravings out of my body. I browned up some ground beef and measured it out and haven't eaten one portion so far. I'm just not interested. I do have a headache. Something about me and diet coke. I got into it last week a few times and again yesterday.

I realize what my issue was yesterday. The night before I took a sleep aid.....but it always leaves me feeling groggy so all day yesterday I was just off. I was tired and for me when I get tired I want to be comforted and apparently that means food aka carbs.

I've asked the boyfriend to send me some old pics of myself when I was thinner. He has 100s of pics of me because he loves to take them. I rarely see them because I don't like myself in pics. However, I never realized at the time that I wasn't looking too bad. I was around 175. I'm pretty even as far as proportions go and actually have an hour glass figure and I'm busty. He constantly tells me how amazing my body is (but he loves me so what's he going to say lol)

I guess my point is...I'm not trying to look like some picture I found in a magazine. I'm trying to get back to what I looked like 5-6 yrs ago. It's me...not someone else. This was after my son...so it's not like it's pre baby body. I wasn't perfect by any means but I was a lot better then. I would like to get to 150 and see where I am and how I feel about myself. I know hcg does some amazing shaping so we'll see. Anyway...he said he'd send me my pics so I can use myself as motivation instead of some unrealistic woman who has been photo shopped on the internet.

I really want this weight gone. It hit me today. I've been dinking around way too long....it's time to gooooooooo.
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Old 03-20-2013, 10:11 AM   #343
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Oh good. We'll be able to cheer each other on in our next phases. I'm planning on loading Mother's Day Weekend. I try to start right at the end of TOM so according to my calendar that's about when it is.

I'm doing really well today....cravings are nill but I'm sticking to protein for a few days just to flush the cravings out of my body. I browned up some ground beef and measured it out and haven't eaten one portion so far. I'm just not interested. I do have a headache. Something about me and diet coke. I got into it last week a few times and again yesterday.

I realize what my issue was yesterday. The night before I took a sleep aid.....but it always leaves me feeling groggy so all day yesterday I was just off. I was tired and for me when I get tired I want to be comforted and apparently that means food aka carbs.

I've asked the boyfriend to send me some old pics of myself when I was thinner. He has 100s of pics of me because he loves to take them. I rarely see them because I don't like myself in pics. However, I never realized at the time that I wasn't looking too bad. I was around 175. I'm pretty even as far as proportions go and actually have an hour glass figure and I'm busty. He constantly tells me how amazing my body is (but he loves me so what's he going to say lol)

I guess my point is...I'm not trying to look like some picture I found in a magazine. I'm trying to get back to what I looked like 5-6 yrs ago. It's me...not someone else. This was after my son...so it's not like it's pre baby body. I wasn't perfect by any means but I was a lot better then. I would like to get to 150 and see where I am and how I feel about myself. I know hcg does some amazing shaping so we'll see. Anyway...he said he'd send me my pics so I can use myself as motivation instead of some unrealistic woman who has been photo shopped on the internet.

I really want this weight gone. It hit me today. I've been dinking around way too long....it's time to gooooooooo.
You know my bout with sleep aids!!!! And yes, being tired makes alot of people crave carbs. Its our drug of choice, obviously! Would love to see a pick of you at 175. I am curving and busty too!!! And your age I think, 44? And 5'6" Maybe it would inspire me!
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Old 03-20-2013, 11:34 AM   #344
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I'll see if I can find something that's not too "adult" lol he likes sexy pics of me more than just reg stuff. I'm 46 and about 5'6ish...I think I'm shrinking a bit.
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Old 03-20-2013, 12:48 PM   #345
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Ok...I found this pic....I had cut my hair...it was to my waist and it's back to being that long again but I was around 175ish give or take a few. No makeup and I look like a goofball but that's the best I can do for now....he hasn't sent me anything yet....I found this on a disc I had.
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Old 03-21-2013, 07:03 AM   #346
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Ok...I found this pic....I had cut my hair...it was to my waist and it's back to being that long again but I was around 175ish give or take a few. No makeup and I look like a goofball but that's the best I can do for now....he hasn't sent me anything yet....I found this on a disc I had.
Thank you! lol! I just cant see anything but your pretty face. When you get a chance, and if you don't mind, I would love to see your figure. Our ages and our height and our physique are very close. Yay! LOL!
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Old 03-22-2013, 12:45 AM   #347
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This was me in high school I was 16ish. I thought I was FAT. I was a size 12/13 when there was no spandex. Today I'd have been a 10 with the way they size things now. It's sized-ways lol I had to take a pic of a pic because I couldn't upload it in the format I had. I was between 150-165 at this time. I gained 30 lbs in 3 yrs when I graduated high school and that's when I went to ww for the first time and weighed 198.5.
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Old 03-22-2013, 12:53 AM   #348
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Hoping it's not side ways....early 20s I think I had lost my weight at this point but don't remember what this event was. I only got down as low as 165 so I wasn't any lower. I'm guessing 170ish...this was before I had my son though...I had him when I was 30.
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Old 03-22-2013, 01:00 AM   #349
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Trying this again to see if I can get it up right. It didn't work...not sure why. If I find anything else I'll post...but that's it for now.

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Old 03-25-2013, 05:21 AM   #350
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Thanks Colleen! You are a very pretty good. Those pics should really be inspiring to you! How are you doing on the protocol?
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Old 03-25-2013, 01:58 PM   #351
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I'm doing crappy. I had an emotional weekend and just ate my way through it. I was talking to the boyfriend today and he pissed me off and that was the jump start I needed to say....screw you...I'll show you! I'm not mad at him....he's only trying to help and he wasn't mean or anything....just pretty much thinks I'm hopeless in this area and rightfully so....I've just completely fallen time and time again. I was thinking that this weight has come on over the last 7 -8 yrs.

My problem is it's been so long in my mind I forgot I was a lot thinner and had kept a majority of my weight off for awhile. I seesawed between 175 and 185 for the most part and then something happened and I just went off the deep end and gained 50lbs. My highest was 232...ugh.

Anyway....I'm going to weigh tomorrow...face the scale and get back to it. I've got one more week before I was going to end my round but if I can get myself in gear I'm going to do a couple more weeks and see how far I can go. I don't want to go too long but I'd like to get at least down to 200 before I break.

I need to be like Nike and just do it and stop feeling sorry for myself...good grief I hate when I get into that frame of mind. I'm not a quitter. He and I are going out April 4th and he challenged me to lose as much as I could before then. I'd love to have 10lbs off by then. I told him I accepted his challenge.

I will post my progress daily. I understand what Robin says about not using the scale but sometimes it is a great motivator and if it kick starts me again I'll be happy.
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Old 03-26-2013, 02:59 AM   #352
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The last time I weighed I was 210.5 and this morning I weighed 213. All things considered it isn't horrible and could be oh so much worse so I'll put my big girl panties on and just get on with it.

I will end this round at 200. I hope it's sooner rather than later though cause I do think the breaks are important.
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Old 03-26-2013, 08:55 AM   #353
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Hi Colleen.... The conversation between you and bf reminded me of WHY this is MY SECRET!!! I have not told my hubby much of anything. He doesn't comment about my weight but I know how he feels. And I can't say much bc I don't want a fat husband. Although I would still love him!!!

Maybe think of the "no's" to food instead as a "yes" to you!!! A yes to your new body, new attitude and new victory! So there would no more "no I can't have that" or "no that is off protocol". It could be "yes, i can enjoy that when I am thin and look good eating it" LOL! Or "yes, that food is in my future after I get done loving myself through this protocol". Hope this helps!
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Old 03-26-2013, 09:12 AM   #354
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Thanks Shelle, yes, it helps. I "know" all this stuff but when the chips are down (no pun intended) I cave....but not always. I need to figure how why sometimes my resolve is so high and other days I just don't give a wit.

I do find when I'm having a pity party it's more difficult. When I get good and pissed off that seems to propel me forward. I have some of my pics on my desk top staring at me as a constant reminder that it was me and not some other woman. I just want to be the best me I can be. I'll never weigh 125 lbs.

I did get an email yesterday from Geneen Roth and it was very good. She explains that nothing will change when you lose the weight. The people who love you now will love you then. The people who don't love you now won't love you then either. So many times I've put my life on hold and figure I'll do it when I have my perfect body. I'll be happy when I lose the weight. WRONG! We need to be happy now because once the weight is gone you won't be any more happy than you are now. In fact you may be less if you expected the weight loss to solve all your problems.

Weight loss won't make someone love you and it won't take care of your bills and any other problems you have. I need to start to focus on the now and stop putting my life on hold.

BTW the boyfriend knows I'm trying to lose weight that is not a secret. How I'm doing it is a big one cause he'd flip his lid. He would not understand....not even a little.
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Old 03-27-2013, 03:01 AM   #355
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WOE: HCG/Hunger Scale WLA
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211.6 this morning. I was hoping to be back to my lowest this round but that was a bit ambitious. I am going to make some of the chocolate delight that I see a lot of people use because I'm getting into the Easter candy. I like chocolate...who knew?!

I'd like to be under 210 by Easter Sunday so we'll see. I wasn't hungry yesterday other than at normal meal times. I do think I almost waited too long for dinner but I didn't think I was overly hungry but when I was ready to cook I couldn't make it fast enough I just wanted to eat.

I'm not excluding any foods this round. I have my fruits sometimes and I have the melba cracker thingy sometimes too. I do feel physically better. I just wish I hadn't screwed up for 2 flippen weeks....good grief. I am grateful I didn't gain it all back but I've been spinning my wheels. Meanwhile my pellets are going down. I'm about half way through my bottle so I'm hoping I get through the rest of the round with these. I don't want to have to switch to something else. I am pleasantly surprised I like them this much and disappointed that the company stopped making them due to the govt and their nosiness. Now if you are going to do hhcg it's a lot more difficult to find the real stuff.

Anyway, I'm doing good. The boyfriend is coming today. Today's challenge is to not binge when he leaves. I have got to get a grip on that behavior...that's what did me in the first time on this round.

I've started watching some makeup and beauty vlogs so maybe I'll just immerse myself in that this afternoon. I'd like to watch hcg vlogs but I find the people making them don't make them fast enough for me lol I devour them ASAP. I wish Robin would do a video everyday. I need to get back to reading the workbook. I stopped when I went sideways...hmm. I think I'm clever but I'm not. When I stop doing the things that work things stop working they way they are supposed to...pretending and ignoring the issue doesn't help.
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Old 03-27-2013, 04:44 AM   #356
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WOE: HCG/Hunger Scale WLA
Start Date: December 1 2008
Update....boyfriend got OT at work so he's not coming....boooooooo! However, I'm going to focus on the positive. It gives me a week to get as much off as I can before I see him next Thurs.
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Old 03-28-2013, 02:48 AM   #357
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WOE: HCG/Hunger Scale WLA
Start Date: December 1 2008
210.5 this morning. I am at my lowest weight for this round. I was this weight on March 9th so that's been quite the round about to get back here...2 1/2 weeks! Ugh.

Yesterday I noticed I was hungrier. My regular foods weren't satisfying me nearly as much as they normally would. I'm not sure if it was just cravings...though I did feel actual hunger so I'm not sure.

I have a box of melba toast at my desk and I ended up eating a few around 11am because I just could not make it to lunch...normally I have an apple around 9 and I'm ok till noonish but I just wasn't so I had the crackers and then ate my lunch. I was still hungry. I was VERY close to pitching it and heading to Mcdonalds. I didn't. Phew! I remembered I'd have to post here and that seemed to help me muddle through. I did however get into the hershey kisses....I had more than a handful while I was driving to Staples but it was either that or I was getting a burger and fries and diet coke so at least I didn't do that.

I had fruit in the afternoon...a very small apple with a bit of peanut butter to get me till dinner and then I had a burger and some mushrooms. I seemed to be fine after dinner. Maybe I let my hunger get ahead of me yesterday and I just couldn't catch up...I'm not sure.

The boyfriend had to work so I didn't have to deal with the after visit binge feeling so that's a plus.

I'm going to keep plugging away esp now that I'm back to my low for this round. I have 10.5 before I can end it so I'd like to put myself out of my own misery and just do it. I don't understand people who love P2. I hate it...hate most things about it....mostly I think it's the restrictions...the food is ok other than just boring but then again I'm not super creative either so it's my own fault.

I'm very much into the beauty and makeup vlogs at the moment. I need an obsession and the hcg videos aren't enough in volume for me to keep me distracted so this is working and I'm learning a lot. Although all the women doing the videos are so young. I need some 40 somethings to do some! I need some help lol
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Old 04-10-2013, 06:54 AM   #358
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WOE: HCG injections
Start Date: May 26, 2013
Where are you darlin???
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Old 04-14-2013, 08:54 AM   #359
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WOE: HCG/Hunger Scale WLA
Start Date: December 1 2008
I'm here. I had to step away from the boards and from the protocol. It makes me sad to realize how crazy I am about food sometimes. I haven't gained all that I lost but I haven't lost either.

Every day I wake up and everyday I think I'm going to stay on protocol today and somewhere usually between 3-5pm I lose my mind and binge. I'm so tired of doing that.

I have enough hcg for a short round and that's it. I am not ordering any more until I'm in p3.

I have found some videos online about emotional eating and binging and I've been doing some self reflecting...what the frig is wrong with me stuff. There are days when I'm perfectly ok and I sail through my day and then there are days when I'm white knuckling it and barely make it through. The compulsion to eat is so strong at times it's all I can think about and trying to distract myself rarely works. I'm tired of manifesting failure so I'm going to really start working on my thoughts and the negative voice in my head that keeps telling myself I can't do this.....Yes, I can do this. I've done it in the past. I have proven to myself I can do this.

I've watched vlogs and seen so many women who can just do this protocol and they make up their minds not to cheat and they don't. I am going to be one of those...it's 3 weeks..it's not forever.

Anyway....that's me...flawed and imperfect but still working at it.
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Old 04-14-2013, 09:11 AM   #360
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WOE: HCG/Hunger Scale WLA
Start Date: December 1 2008
I found this on a blog I'm reading about binging and emotional eating.


“Success is not owned; it’s rented — and the rent is due every day.”

If you want to be successful at anything in life, you have to be willing to pay the rent. You have to work hard, persevere, and keep at it even when you’d rather be doing something else.

Every day you have an opportunity to pay the rent toward your current or future success. You can choose to make little steps in the right direction — not eating that piece of cake if you’re working on losing weight, getting on the treadmill for 30 minutes, making that phone call, honing a skill, reaching out to someone, and writing 500 words on your manuscript.

Or, on the flip side, you can choose to make deductions from your rent payment on your future success. You can choose to stay home from the gym, procrastinate on that phone call, say “no” to that opportunity for growth that scares you too much, eat that extra brownie, or skip working on that side project.

The choice is yours. What are you doing today to pay your rent on the future?
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