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Old 07-13-2012, 03:35 AM   #271
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I'm venting again. If you do not follow the HCG protocol correctly and by correctly I mean do a clean round from start to finish then PLEASE, PLEASE do not spout off how HCG doesn't work. I have seen VERY few people actually do this protocol (myself included) from start to finish correctly and have problems.

What I do see is people cycling...eating off protocol...cheating like crazy....not doing their p3s and p4s and THEN complaining...that this protocol does not work.....I want to smack them.

Why is it so hard for people to say.....I did not do what I was told to do and it didn't work as a result of it. Why is it always the "diet's" fault because you couldn't follow the rules....because YOU thought your rules were better. If your plan was so great you'd not need another one in the first place.

I have seen SO many vloggers on youtube who are doing it CORRECTLY and stabilizing like a dream. I'm going to do what they are doing. Not what I read about.....constantly searching for that perfect "diet" to absolve them from any responsibility. They basically want a diet they can cheat on and get a way with and HCG calls you on your BS...it's that simple. Listen..If you want to change the way your relationship with food is then by all means try HCG but if you are going to cheat, not follow the directions and then run to it every time you gain 5lbs then do yourself a favor and try WW...it's more forgiving.

Your fat cells are HYPER stimulated on HCG....the losses are big but so are the gains....am I the only one that gets that...really? Honestly...I'm so disgusted with this forum because that's what I'm seeing. And btw...just because your off HCG doesn't mean your fat cells aren't STILL in a state of hypersensitivity through your P3 and P4....THAT'S why you are supposed to follow them. Holy cow people this isn't rocket science...it really isn't. To blame the HCG because YOU made a choice NOT to stick to protocol is so infuriating to me I want to just spit.

I see a TON of people who can't stabilize and continue to run back to P2 and then find it nearly impossible to have a clean round. Of course you do....your mentally not ready for this if you ever were. Just do yourself a favor and continue to diet. I for one and done dieting so I'm going to do this correctly.

I am thankful for what I read because I WILL NOT be like them and I will get this done right this time.

Rant off.
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Old 07-13-2012, 12:01 PM   #272
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Soooo it's 3pm and I haven't eaten yet ..it's like watching a pot boil.
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Old 07-14-2012, 03:59 AM   #273
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Good Morning Everyone,

199.8 this morning. I should be happier but I'm still annoyed I gained in the first place. There was no excuse for that. I did not over eat that much on Thurs but whatever I did do must have stimulated me so much that my appetite was nil on Friday....allllllll day.....nothing....I was at a 5 all day and night. I do not believe I needed to eat yesterday at all and that was a bit unsettling. I had 4 bites of steak and that was it.

I'm still annoyed with myself because I wasn't hungry, hungry. But when I ate it I was hungry.....odd I know...this whole hunger scale, trusting your body is hard. This morning I can hear my stomach making noises so I anticipate having some hunger today. It's just really strange for ME of all people to not be hungry and to have food make little or no impact....not even the food commercials or the food blogs were making me want to eat.

This HCG is way different than the homeopathic I had the first time....I think.....it's been so long and I wasn't listening to my body then...I was so deep in diet mode I just wanted it over with. I'm not trying to deal with my hunger....I just don't have it most of the time....I mean....nothing!

I weigh in tomorrow and that's it for the scale for a couple of days. I'm going to drop down to every other day and see if I can do it. I'll put my scale out of sight (cause that'll work) and see if I can just focus on my life and getting stuff done.

I'm half way through my round. I'm taking my last dose Aug 1st and then I want to be in P3 for a week before I go on vacation and see how I do. When I come back I'm going to finish up 10 days or so and see where I'm at. I'm hoping I can get as close to my goal of 180 and then take my breaks. I was looking at the calendar and I think I can get a short round in Oct. I'd like to be in P3 for Thanksgiving...I'm pretty sure I could handle that.
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Old 07-15-2012, 04:49 AM   #274
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198.8 this morning.

I ended up eating 2 small meals yesterday. I was happy to finally feel some hunger (how strange to wish for that) but I was because I want to and need to practice my hunger scale.

Just when I think I'm understanding things I get thrown a curve ball. There is a woman on youtube named HCGCharm. She's lost a ton of weight on HCG (not sure which type she does) but she just loaded this past weekend I think and she ate 5000 calories one day and then 3500 calories the next making sure it was 65% fat, protein and few carbs...not sure how many but those were the least calories. She gained .2 and then lost 1.2 on LOADING.

It was an experiment to see if she could load without gaining much weight. I'd say it was a success! If we could eat like that and take HCG and lose ...but we can't and we all know it....so there's something fluky going on with the HCG....maybe it only lasts for a cpl of days until the HCG is really in your system. I really don't know but for my next load I may try that and see what happens. But again I'm just puzzled. I've seen people eat to protocol and gain weight...our bodies are so complex we'll never really understand them.

Her videos are great btw if you like to get inspiration from people who have done it and kept it off...I know I do...it gives me hope.
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Old 07-15-2012, 04:42 PM   #275
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Girl ONEDERLAND!!! Whoo hooooooooo!!! You are doing some major soul searching!! Great job. I don't have the complete loss of hunger, but I do last quite a long time without it! This is most certainly a work in progress.
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Old 07-16-2012, 04:33 AM   #276
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Thanks Deb and you are right this is a work in progress. I'm watching as many videos on youtube of the others that have come before us and have made the change and you can hear it in their voices and you just know they got it. A lot of them reference WLA (weight loss apocalypse ) and they are doing great.

I lost 4.6 last week according to my ww weigh in. I'm not sure what this week will be. My TOM is due the end of the week so we'll see how my cravings are. I'm staying off the scale for a few days.

I'm pretty much not hungry and when I do I don't get super hungry which is bumming me out because I want to practice. I'm basically able to eat one meal a day and be ok. I don't love that but really....should I complain about that? lol it means the HCG is working and doing what it's supposed to be doing.

If it looks like my weight loss is similar to this week's I'm going to have to put some rocks in my pockets at ww because I can't go in there sporting a 5 lb weight loss every week that's for sure. I'm still a few pounds away from where I was this time last year. I got down to 194.6 on my scale. I'm hoping for that by Sunday...but we'll see. I'm really trying to not obsess this round and just let my body do it's thing.
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Old 07-16-2012, 04:42 AM   #277
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Your body WILL take you where you want to be, just keep up what you are doing. on making it back to ONEderland. I am working on maintenance in ONEderland and it is work! I don't want to see Twoterville again so I need to work at it.

You are doing great, keep it up!

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Old 07-17-2012, 03:20 AM   #278
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Good Morning Everyone,

I'm feeling pretty good this morning. My energy was way down last week but I'm not sure if it was HCG related or my body switching to low carb after being on carbs for awhile. I'm feeling better today. I made it to the track and got some walking in and that felt pretty good. I'm not one for exercise so walking is about the extent at the moment. I'd like to someday work on fitness goals rather than weight loss goals but right now it's the weight loss I'd like...lugging around an extra 50 lbs is difficult...I still can't believe it's 50 but it is. That's A LOT of weight. I sell 50 lb bags of potatoes at work and they are heavy!

I miss eating. I miss the ritual of having a meal. I'm pretty much eating once a day. I ate yesterday at 5pm and I was fine all day. I have come to an important realization. Stress doesn't trigger me. I had a horrendous day yesterday and reaching for food to ease it didn't occur to me once. I've had other days where I was stressed and that didn't make me want to eat either. I assumed stress was one of mine but I really think boredom is more than anything. Or just wanting a distraction from something I don't want to deal with.

I may weigh tomorrow or I may not. I like not having to get on the scale. I was happy to see new vlogs from some of my favorites yesterday so that helped lift my spirits. One of the women who I love is following the hunger scale and she's in P4 and said she's surprised at how little she eats on a regular day but that on days she works harder and expends more energy she needs more food. That would make sense. Is it a complete fallacy to think our bodies need X amount of calories EVERY day or is it possible it fluctuates as the need for energy does. If I sit in the chair and don't move all day I'm thinking my body isn't expending as much energy as if I spent the day working in the yard or cleaning my house.

I did find a few really good gluten free/paleo websites yesterday with lots of yummy looking recipes. We'll see how they taste. I've seen a few good looking things and then made them and they were horrible (could be my cooking who knows)

Enjoy the day!
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Old 07-21-2012, 05:32 AM   #279
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Good Morning Everyone,

Just checking in. Robin was not kidding when she was talking about hormones and your cycle. Mine is due today (we'll see) but Wednesday hunger hit me at 10amish which it hasn't really since I started. I ate some of my apple and it didn't hold me....at all. I was just hungry. I wasn't craving I was truly hungry. I've increased my food over the last few days and I know I'm up but not sure how much as I'm avoiding the scale until I start my cycle. I know my HCG is fine so that's not it.

Now that I'm paying attention to my body I'm finding it very interesting what it's telling me. I guess now I really do believe when I don't feel hunger to just not worry about it because my hunger signals are not broken...even on the HCG I was hungry. I'm also seeing the peace of mind to not weighing because you know it's going to fluctuate up and down while your body is going through crazy time. I'm going to give myself 2 more full weeks before I take a PI for my vacation. That will still give me almost a full week on P3 before I leave. So annoyed though. I really thought I'd breeze through this...lol SILLY ME!
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Old 07-25-2012, 03:24 AM   #280
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I really thought (hoped) that once I got this logically that the emotional crap would just disappear on it's own....WRONG. I'm so annoyed with myself that I've allowed this emotional junk to get in the way of my progress and self sabotage. I also thought avoiding the boards and reading/obsessing and not weighing would help....it's not...AT ALL. I hate to think I have to be 100% obsessed with this process while I'm doing it but it looks to be the case for me.

I've been all over the place the last week....logically I know I'm not hungry..I do get it. I have no reason to eat other than for hunger. I get that too. I've discovered my triggers and that's progress but I've still given into them and that has me so annoyed with myself I can barely stand it. This really isn't difficult..it's not! Emotional eating is the devil....it really is a beast.

I think HCG is such a gift and it's the closest thing to a magic pill I've ever found. I just want to be done already but I keep delaying it by letting this junk slow me down. I know my HCG is working awesomely so that's not the question...it's all between my ears. I'm acting like a rebellious child. I think I'm just tired of all the restrictions. But I can't get to the next part till I finish this part! ARGH. So logically I've been trying to explain that to my spoiled child and she's not exactly buying it!

I've set a goal for Sunday when I am going to WW next. I'm going to refrain posting my weight until then...we'll see how close I can come but I am up. I stepped on the scale this morning and I'm just disgusted. I refuse to undo all the good I've done. I haven't....but....any weight gain is just not acceptable on this protocol.

I'll also be putting myself back into "therapy" and watch all of Robin's videos again and again....and I'll be reading Weightloss Apoc again....seeing as when I was doing all those things everything seemed to be clicking and then....I got cocky....I had it all figured out....which I did actually lol but emotionally I think I'm still a bit slow to get it. I'm not panicked about never binging again..which is progress for me...as that use to send me into a panic attack just thinking those things. But eating when I clearly don't need food is something I need a lot more work on.

I believe in what Robin has said.....it makes sense to me and I've watched more than one person on their vlogs who have adopted this lifestyle and it's working great. I have to get rid of the behaviors that are not working and embrace the ones that I know will work...not changing is not an option here. I have to change or nothing will change or I might as well just quit now and I will not quit. I will reach my goal like the ones before me and I refuse to make HCG a hobby even though it needs to be my full time job at the moment. I will embrace that for now and let it consume me because for me it's how it needs to be...maybe it won't be forever...but for now it needs to be.

This is not a diet nor will I treat it like one....this is an emotional/hormone therapy and this is the hardest thing I've ever tried to really accomplish in my life...but I know once I've really changed I believe with all my heart my eating disorder will be gone and I'll be healed...both physically and mentally. it's just going to take longer than 2 weeks lol
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Old 07-25-2012, 05:21 AM   #281
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Collen
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Old 07-25-2012, 05:32 AM   #282
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Hey Colleen!! this is an emotional TRIP, that is for sure!!! I think you are learning alot about yourself, and I agree, even when there is no hunger, there is so much emotion tied to eating, food, drinking, etc.... It is a process!!!! None of us have it figured out..

Have you watched this lady? Donna. She did so well, with so many physical problems, and she still reached her goal, and is maintaining ... I believe she lost around 125 pounds with HCG and her videos are awesome!!

Givingitmyall2011 - YouTube

Good luck, you can do this, one day at a time!!!
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Old 07-25-2012, 05:46 AM   #283
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Thanks Maggie, Deb!

Yes, she is one of my favorites. I think she has ms? but not sure...she is one of the women I am referring to when I speak of the vloggers. I also like MsHCGgirl...she's lost over a 100 lbs as well and has kept it off.

On paper this is simple...it really is. But it's not easy....although it can be. What's the difference between the first 2 weeks and last week? TOM was on it's way and finally hit Monday. I can't live my life in a bubble....emotional stuff IS going to happen to me and I have to learn to sit with the feelings....I just have to. I hate feeling uncomfortable and that's all it is...I have at least identified it so that's a start. I was foolish to think I would not stumble upon my way....what's that saying...pride goeth before a fall? So very true.
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Old 07-25-2012, 06:14 AM   #284
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Deb is right, none of us have it totally figured out it is a process that is for sure. Honey so glad you are learning about yourself and not giving up on YOU! One day at a time is all anyone can do and sometimes 1 second and or 1 minute. We are all a work in progress and you are not stupid because you thought you had it all figured out. Been there, done that got the T-shirt! I pray one day I can have it figured out for myself but it will be one day at a time for me as long as I am on this earth so that is what it will be. I will Live, Laugh, and work on Losing unwanted pounds until the day comes.

Accentuate the positives and drive on!

yourself today and always!

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Old 07-25-2012, 06:18 AM   #285
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Yes, she has MS and has battled cancer and heart problems. Makes my life look easy......

One day at a time Colleen! The whole hormone thing RULES our bodies.... amazing .. of course it will wreck havoc with your life. ESPECIALLY when it is cycle time!.. relax and forgive yourself....
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Old 07-25-2012, 06:54 AM   #286
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Oh have you watched Runkman44's videos? he is fun to watch and just hilarious for my daily grind at work..
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Old 07-25-2012, 11:22 AM   #287
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No I haven't. I'll look him up. I get so much inspiration from the videos. If I wasn't doing this in secret I'd be on there too...I think it helps the ones who do them a lot.
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Old 07-28-2012, 06:02 AM   #288
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Good Morning Everyone,

I think I'm back from crazy town. My TOM has ended and I have come to the conclusion that I'm not crazy or a "loser" in the sense that I can't control myself. I was hormonal. I feel like a science experiment right now. I have been struggling over the last 10 days something awful. My cycle started about when it was supposed to so HCG does not mess that up. I didn't think I was a super B either (but you'd have to ask the people around me for that I suppose) but I will tell you my food cravings were off the chart. I can't say I was starving, although my hunger was up some but logically I knew I wasn't hungry most of the time but I was craving carbs like a loon...not so much candy/sugar but chips and bread and junky food like Mcdonalds. I mean OBSESSED with it. So I thought...Ok...something emotional must be going on right? No...I wasn't angry or upset or anything like that..I mean sometimes I was annoyed but nothing over the top. It may have felt like it when I was in the middle of it but looking back nothing really happened that could have sent me over the edge..my life is not that dramatic.

So I'm thinking it was all triggered by my hormonal imbalance due to my TOM coming. I thought ok once I start I'll be fine.....no....not so much...it lasted right through till Thurs. Yesterday I finally felt in control and back to "normal" and was like.....what the heck was my problem the last 10 days....this isn't hard...eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full....but Thurs night I was obsessed with eating.....I kept trying to talk myself off the ledge but I WANTED to eat something....I NEEDED to eat something..I couldn't think of anything else....so I did end up having a burger and had a nice loss yesterday.

I guess I'm wondering out loud here is if every month I'm going to go on a bender and struggle for upwards of 10 days and if so do I just relax and let my body do what it wants knowing that once crazy time has passed my appetite will normally just adjust itself as long as I keep sticking to the hunger scale. I think once I'm at goal it may not be as severe because Robin says the less fat we have the less dramatic it is...let's hope so anyway.

Even though I feel like I wasted the last 2 weeks with virtually no weight loss because I went up and now I'm finally coming down I think I learned a lot about myself and my body so I'll be grateful for that. I have about 10 more days before I start my planned interuption so I'm hoping I can get to a new number on the scale.
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Old 07-28-2012, 10:00 AM   #289
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Gosh Colleen I am so sorry about that horrible cravings! UGH!!!! I wish I had good advice on the whole TOM issue, but being past that, I am very stable in that way. I hope it gets better for you! I am sure it will as the fat stores are reduced.

YAY on listening to your hunger though, and when you needed to eat, you did. That is good. The pounds will come off even if you just do that part! Hope your weekend goes well!
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Old 07-28-2012, 10:07 AM   #290
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Thanks Deb! I feel so much better today. Yesterday was a good day as well but boy I was just a mess the last week. I was struggling and holding on by my knuckles. Some days I did ok but it was hard and some days were just a disaster.

I'll hopefully have a small loss tomorrow and head to WW to check in. It's so funny because when I'm not in that hormonal swing I can't figure out what my problem is..lol but when I'm in it I can't seem to think of anything else other than EATING! Just goes to show you how powerful our hormones really are. It's 1:05pm here and I still haven't eaten yet and am sitting at 3.85 maybe...but not feeling any urgency yet to eat.

I did watch a great video last night of Robin's that I hadn't seen before. I'm sure you have. It was transitioning into P3 and she explained the leptin again. I never get tired of hearing her talk and I always get something new when I listen.

I also pulled up the Omaha method that you did? I think I may try that and see how it goes. I'm feeling a bit rebelish
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Old 07-28-2012, 11:32 AM   #291
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YES! I love watching Robin! She is so smart and such a motivating lady. Love watching her videos. It has been a while since I have watched any, so I should go check them out again.

I did do the Omaha plan, and the main reason is that sometimes I just wanted/needed more veges. One extra fruit sometimes too. The bread part, I can take or leave and most of the time I just left it.

I do like having more choices and sometimes I did have a bit more protein also. I think protein is the key to my satisfaction on P2. So more calories just worked better for me. Most days I came in around 700, sometimes less and a couple times up to 800.

I never felt like I was "cheating" altough Robin really wants us to follow the original plan, sometimes our bodies tell us different. Oh well! IT WORKED! .. Good luck whatever you decide!!! Hormones RULE!.. no doubt!
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Old 07-29-2012, 06:27 AM   #292
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Good Morning Everyone,

Just back from ww. I'm going to use their weight as my weekly weigh in so this week I was down 1.8 which brings me to 198. I'm pleased with that since Tues morning I was sitting wayyy above that. I am not thrilled I had to work so hard for that "small" loss but it is what it is. I'm hoping to keep going strong for another week to ten days before I do my PI.

The woman at the scale asked me what made my week so successful. I told her the truth. I'm eating to the hunger scale and really paying attention to my body. I got a bravo sticker lol I said....I realize ww has talked about the hunger scale for years but I never paid attention or actually believed it worked.

Yesterday I ended up eating one meal which was my lunch and just couldn't justify eating dinner. I did take 2 bites of a burger around 8pmish because I was a tiny bit hungry and that was enough...I felt full.

I have to mix my last vial of the hcg that I have and I have to say the brand I got was awesome. This is my first rx round and it's been soooo different but then a lot of things are different this time around so I'm not sure I can give all the credit to the hcg. I bought a different brand for my next round and I hope it's just as good. I have heard good things about it so we'll see. I am not planning on another round till sometime in Oct....I THINK..by the time I finish this after my PI and take my break it will be Oct I think. I do want to take my break. I need to practice maintanence and I want my body to catch up.

They aren't kidding when they say pounds and INCHES. I was trying on stuff yesterday that I don't think should really be fitting me yet and it was. Not a lot but a few pairs of shorts I didn't think I'd get into still sitting at 198lbs but they did. I don't really measure my inches so I really have no clue how much I've lost in the depts. I measure my waste every once in a while and it never seems to be going down that fast so I get annoyed since that's where I'd like it the most....well that and the belly...if only we could focus on the area we want <sigh>

Anyway...no complaints here. HCG is a miracle and so glad I found it and took the chance.
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Old 07-29-2012, 07:02 AM   #293
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So happppeeeee for you Collen!!!

198 is truly AWESOME and smaller clothes is FANTABULOUS!!!!!

I need to start watching some of Robin's new videos, so off I go.

Have a great weekend!


Last edited by MagieDen; 07-29-2012 at 07:04 AM..
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Old 07-29-2012, 09:48 AM   #294
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Wonderful news Colleen!!!
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Old 07-30-2012, 12:54 PM   #295
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I'm HUNGRY! I mixed a new batch yesterday and I tested it on a pg test but the b12 was so red I couldn't really see the line that was supposed to say if I was pregnant or not. I thought I saw a faint line but I'm not sure if that was wishful thinking on my part.

I took last nights dose and this mornings dose with that bottle and I felt hungry this morning and I usually don't. I had my lunch and that only kept me for 2 hrs. I'm not going to cheat but I am physically hungry and I know I shouldn't be.

I got some wound wash and mixed up a new vial of the new brand that I got. I was hoping to not open any of them till after I got home from vacation but I had to mix a new batch. I mixed it and it's clear so I can read it much better. I put some on the preg test and it was VERY pregnant...like dark blue lines instantly. SO...I'm feeling better about that. I hate to have wasted that vial but I just know something isn't right. I mixed my other two bottles perfectly and they both tested great but I ran out of that b12 and got some locally and it was berry red...I also didn't empty out the last of the old batch so maybe I contaminated the new one...I really don't know but whatever it wasn't very strong or not working at all.

If anyone doubts what HCG does try doing 500 cal a day without anything and see how far you get...not very! lol Right now I'm nursing a vitamin water till about 4 and then I'm taking my dose hoping it kicks in right away. I usually wait till 5 but this feeling is for the birds!
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Old 07-31-2012, 05:17 AM   #296
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Hope the new batch is working better for your hunger! UGH. hate hunger!..

Have a great day!
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Old 07-31-2012, 06:04 AM   #297
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Thanks Deb!

It's working better but I'll tell ya..wound wash is NASTY stuff....ugh. I can't wait to get my b12 in and mix my next vial after vacation. I'll have to suck it up till next week...I realize it's not meant to ingest but that's what they use and it's non toxic but dang it's just gross...hard to explain...like drinking plastic..just gross. I wish I was doing injections lol

Hunger is in the background...nothing bad..I'm at about a 4.75ish.....not happy that I didn't get the same brand....it worked so well....oh well...live and learn. I wasn't properly prepared...shame on me!
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Old 08-04-2012, 09:07 AM   #298
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Hope things are going well for you Colleen!
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Old 08-09-2012, 05:25 AM   #299
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Thanks for checking in Deb!

I'm good. I'm on my planned PI. I had to take a break earlier than I wanted to because I just had enough of the restrictions. I'm doing ok....I could be doing better. I've been busy so I'm not paying attention the way I should be and I know it. I plan on going back on for a maximum of 3 weeks when I get back and that's it. I can't do a long round...it's just so restrictive even if I'm not really hungry.....that tells me I have a lot of work to do emotionally eh?

My goal is to come back from vacation and not be up like I was last year. I was about the same weight this time last year when I went and then I lost my mind when I got back and could never get my head back in the game. I'm hoping this year is different.
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Old 08-09-2012, 05:47 AM   #300
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I know exactly what you mean!! More than 3 weeks, and I am going nuts. It is not the hunger, it is the mental aspect of P2 that is so difficult!! WAY too restrictive for a normal way of eating, so of course, we can't do it that much longer and be SANE.

Have a wonderful vacation this year!! just not WILD crazy eating....
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