To Be Where I've Never Been Before....

[MissG]

Originally Posted by tori_lk

Hi Olivia! Love your name! Just read your journal and man have you had a rough life. In ways, our lives are similar. My dad affected my whole life too. He didn't use drugs though. He molested me from the time I was a baby till 3rd grade. He even tried after that. I didn't know it was wrong until then. My mom found out and then began physically beating me. I've been on my own since I was 15. And I got married at 19. He was abusive as well. Took almost 5 years of that and left him too. So, anyways...been with my husband now for 11 years next month. Married for 6 years. I've been through all kinds of struggles. For a long time I didn't care if I had gotten fatter. It was almost like a shield from no one finding me attractive. I look in the mirror and I don't even look like the girl in my avatar. I have the same pic on facebook and a girl from my work saw it today and she said, Tori...that pic looks nothing like you. Does that mean Im ugly now? Sigh... I wanna look like myself again. I miss me.

Hi Tori! Im sooo sorry about your childhood. When I read that it hurt me . It saddens me that men/fathers could do such things to their children whether it be what you went through or what I have went through. No one deserves to go through any of that. My father too physicaly abused all of us. I have had numerous black eyes and a concusion due to him.At the age of 15, I too was emancipated. My first daughters dad was verbally,mentally and physically abusive. He also cheated on me. Back then my mentality was, " I dont care if I have a bruise on me as long as he doesnt cheat one me"...."Cheating is hard to forgive and forget a bruise will go away". Yah I was sick. I learned all that behavior from my mom. It took me 2yrs to realize I didnt want to be her and left.

Hun, I am here for you whenever you need someone to talk to......You are working on YOU right now....dont lose sight of it. You can get the old you back the one you miss. btw... I think you look pretty hawt...regardless.

You have a wonderful wednesday!

[MissG]

Today is my final weigh in for the flying past my bewitching weight challenge. I started it at 211 in the beginning of sept. but I have slowly lost since then. I will weigh later when I get up to see if I lost anything from this weekneds LC binge. I had done so well.....I probably could of been to at least 204 if it wasnt for that drama.

I gotta get it together....I cant just be doing random "binge eating" just because Im bored.

Here are my stats for the last 7wks. Today is 8th wk and final weigh in. Its sad cause I didnt even get to post my lowest weight from friday....boohooooo

Missgreen..211.....212.......209........209..... 208.....207........208

as you can see I basically fluxuated with losing and gaining the same few pounds over and over again. I need to figure out what Im doing wrong. well besides the obvious. I mean what am I not doing correctly to get my weight to move downward.

[mshelby3]

Hi Olivia, i dropped by to read your journal..I had a lot of abuse as a kid too, and my mom used it as a punishment...witholding it when she was mad, and it started a crazy relationship with food that i am still trying to conquer today!

Hang in there, we all know it works, dont give up!

[jessienevins0314]

tori - your VERY pretty! dont let anyone let you think other wise!! i found a pic of myself from my senior year - 6 years ago i was a size 9! ugh!

green eyes - how are you today?? thanks for the words of inspiration! dont be so down on yourself hun - i get on the scale and feel the same way, but just say, im going to walk an extra few minutes or im going to eat one less thing tomorrow... and smile and move on. i agree. youll be in ONEDERLAND soon - hopefully we both will be.

[MissG]

Thank you tori....for the kind words. I have implemented the notion of taking it one day at a time. When I was setting goals as in wieght lost in certain set times I was just setting myself up for disappointment. I had only reached one small goal. So now Just one day at a time for me.

[MissG]

Well todays final weigh in saw 208. It's wednesday I might just see 206 again by friday for the 2nd week in a row..lol. TOM was the week before and it bumped me up...came back down last week and now trying to get it back to 206 at least. 206 has been the lowest I have been in a very very long time.....I think since 2006.Anything under that will be just lovely!

[MissG]

Well last nite I ended up making Taco Salad...lol...minus the taco. Just groundbeef taco seasoning which is 3carbs per 2tbls I used half the packet so It was evenly distributed. I placed shredded lettuce down added the groundbeef cheese tomatoe green sauce 2carbs sourcream. Simple yet so filling. I couldnt finish it. Total for the nite was about 8carbs.

I am going to start really counting carbs instead of just gaging them. I am also going to start working on portion control and eating til im just perfect not too full.

Todays weight is 208

Todays menu so far.

water..................................water...... .......more water...........

1 sausage pattie

more water.........

Coffee.......splash of HWC...a bit of splenda..........

Dinner TBD.........

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have to find he last few things for my costume later......Hopefully I can get what I need.

I'm hoping Im back in time to take a evening walk. Its been a bit chillier here and quite windy. I love the wind ......except for when it gets to violent or you start shocking everyone or yourself from the static....lmao.....why do some get pleasure out of shuffling their feet and touching others. ITs so mean!!!!lmao

[Dedicated]

Hey Olivia! Just read your journal and wanted to show some support and love!

[MissG]

Originally Posted by Dedicated

Hey Olivia! Just read your journal and wanted to show some support and love!

awww thanx sweetie.....I really appreciate everyones support. Come stop by anytime you like!

[MissG]

Didn't walk as planned. Neither did I get to the store. I ended dealing with a very cranky bratty babygirl. (not a baby shes almost 2).

Made pork steaks for dinner....I havent had those in a few months. Then again, I can only stand pork every so often.

It was good.....but Im good on it for a very long time. lol......also had cucumber.....I think I need to grow my own .....I buy them often enough..lol.

Sooooo......Its now quite in the world of Olivia. No more fussy cranky hold me mommy drama. Since now it is 2 days away from halloween, Im hoping that I will be able to find what Im looking for. Otherwise I am SOL!



So todays menu again was :

water water water

sausage patties

cheese stick

coffee..HWC...Splenda

Pork Steak and cucumber spears with a bit of Hidden Valley ranch dip on the side.

I had a very small cup of coffee earlier so I think I may have just a bit more in a little.

Total carbs today counting coffee too : maybe about 6-8

I wasnt able to walk today....So I will definitley walk the kids to school in the morning.

I need to sew a piece of my daughters costume too......better get to that before I forget.


I think its time for another rant.

[tempted_by_food]

Hi Olivia, didnt realise you had a journal but I thought I would drop by and return the favour, love the halloween costume and them shoes are absolutley beautiful!!! just be careful walking in them lol your doing well with the weight loss dont worry you will get to onderland this month am sure!! new thread starting til xmas I cant wait, I love a new start and making new goals, what costume are you making your little girl?

[MissG]

Originally Posted by tempted_by_food

Hi Olivia, didnt realise you had a journal but I thought I would drop by and return the favour, love the halloween costume and them shoes are absolutley beautiful!!! just be careful walking in them lol your doing well with the weight loss dont worry you will get to onderland this month am sure!! new thread starting til xmas I cant wait, I love a new start and making new goals, what costume are you making your little girl?

hiya.....I am so looking foreward to the new thread...it has really helped me stay accoutable and look forward to weigh in days. Especially with the holidays swingin in quickly now ..I need that extra support....Im sure everyone can agree on that one.

Well I actually bought my oldest daughter a fairy costume but bieng that they are so generically made the velcro doesnt stya closed in the back...So im just going to sew it all the way closed since she can pull it over head instead.

Im super excited my own self for this weekend. A halloween party.....for grownups.........ooooooh. lol....Im silly!

[Tommyswife]

Have fun at your party. Don't cause any accidents with those fish nets and heels. Hubba hubba!

[MissG]

Originally Posted by Tommyswife

Have fun at your party. Don't cause any accidents with those fish nets and heels. Hubba hubba!

lol.....right! Once I do my makeup and hair paired with everything else...Im gonna look oh so sexy..lol.

Im thinking of doing up my makeup and hair later to see how it all comes together........kinda get an idea of how I want to do it for sat. I got to much time on my hands.lol...

Anything special for Sat on ur end?

[Tommyswife]

I'm taking my daughter to a Halloween party. I'll spend most of the evening dodging foods I can't touch. LOL Should be fun.

[workingmomof3]

Hey Olivia - just happened upon your journal - keep going! Childhood sounds rough, not that it is any consolation - but - I think, unfortunately - it more rough than wonderful for most of us! It does make us stronger - but sometimes, again, unfortunately in the wrong places - (if you know what I mean? We are strong in the 'broken places' and not strong where we should be... I believe (for me) that is the 'crux' of the food issue...)

Keep going, pluggin', believin' in yourself - be GOOD to yourself!

This is a little trick I learned on youtube w/tight shoes.... where your shoes are narrow/tight - fill a zip lock sandwich bags up w/water - place it in your shoe where they are tight - and place your shoes in the freezer overnight... take them out, let the frozen bags begin to melt and take them out... if the shoes are man made material you may have to do it a couple of times to get them to stretch... made search for the video on youtube...

Hope it helps and have a great Halloween!

Kim

[jessienevins0314]

haha guess what?? for some reason my work computer wouldnt bring images up, but now that im at home and looking i can see them - your costume is SO cute!! omg... i love the skimpy corset/dress!! where in the world did you find it?! lovin the shoes too - but theres no way i could handle em!

[tempted_by_food]

A fairy I bet she will look sooooooo cute, enjoy your grown up party

[MissG]

I was so tired after not sleepin but 2hrs from the nite before and went to sleep at 1am this morning. I was so freakin tired. Then my hun had the heater on and all the sudden I woke up at 2;30am and felt Like I was in an oven. He was all against me the blankest were smotherin us.....and the heater vent was blowing on me. I was like omigosh I cant take this......I had to open the window turn the heater off and it took me til almost 4 to fall back to sleep so I had at least 4hrs of sleep. I feel better though.

Yesterday was hectic alot of moving around, cleaning and whatnot....I really thought the whoosh fairy would of came by and WHOOOOSHED me but hardly so. I am at 207.4 this morning. Im really hating that number so just 6oz. I suppose I should be happy though....its a move.

Yesterday I didnt eat much........I had 2 chicken legs for lunch and a chicken leg quarter for dinner. also a cheese stick. I drank alot of water and had 8oz of coffee in the morning.

lmao....I might just bump back up to 208 by morning which will be so uncool cause so far this morning I have had:

15 pepperoni slices
1 cheese stick
3 eggs
3 sausage patties (small ones)
1 8oz cup of coffee I didnt finish it though

Im working on my 2nd big tumber of water.

I was sooooooooooooooo Hungry it was ridiculous. I woke up with my stomach growling.

I ate about 2hrs ago and I am still so satisfied..........I will probaby have a lite snacky lunch and a angus cheese burger patty for dinner.

We are carving pumpkins after school......how fun.

[Tommyswife]

Love carving pumpkins. Have a safe halloween.

[MissG]

Originally Posted by Tommyswife

Love carving pumpkins. Have a safe halloween.

Thank you hun......you have a safe and fun Halloween also...........

[MissG]

My attitude is not the greatest right now. I think I will just keep to myself for a few days............

Here's why.............


This was my pattern for the last 9 days startng from last fridays weight:

fri 10/23- 206 (post TOM 3 days)

sat 10/24 -206 (no change still good/ nitetime: HWC Pudding/a few 3ingredient Pb cookies)

sun 10/25- 208 (up from eating LC treats the nite before: The rest of PB's some Rediwhip

mon 10/26 -211 (even further up) OP OP OP OP OP OP OP OP

tues 10/27- 210 (still up) OP OP OP OP OP OP OP OP OP OP OP

wed 10/28- 210 OP OP OP OP OP OP OP OP

thur 10/29- 208 OP OP OP OP OP OP OP OP

fri 10/30- 207 OP OP OP OP OP OP OP OP

sat 10/31-209............................................... ........

Im really over this, thats all I gotta say........I mean I have all these thoughts running through my head and the one that is the strongest says to just thow the towel in.

I dont knwo..........this would be cool if I wa maintaining or i I wa like 10-15lbs less.........but I'm really just sick of being stuck. and gaining and losing and gaining and losing these same damn 3-5lbs.

[Low Carb]

Originally Posted by missgreeneyedenvy

My attitude is not the greatest right now. I think I will just keep to myself for a few days............

Here's why.............


This was my pattern for the last 9 days startng from last fridays weight:

fri 10/23- 206 (post TOM 3 days)

sat 10/24 -206 (no change still good/ nitetime: HWC Pudding/a few 3ingredient Pb cookies)

sun 10/25- 208 (up from eating LC treats the nite before: The rest of PB's some Rediwhip

mon 10/26 -211 (even further up) OP OP OP OP OP OP OP OP

tues 10/27- 210 (still up) OP OP OP OP OP OP OP OP OP OP OP

wed 10/28- 210 OP OP OP OP OP OP OP OP

thur 10/29- 208 OP OP OP OP OP OP OP OP

fri 10/30- 207 OP OP OP OP OP OP OP OP

sat 10/31-209............................................... ........

Im really over this, thats all I gotta say........I mean I have all these thoughts running through my head and the one that is the strongest says to just thow the towel in.

I dont knwo..........this would be cool if I wa maintaining or i I wa like 10-15lbs less.........but I'm really just sick of being stuck. and gaining and losing and gaining and losing these same damn 3-5lbs.

Hi Ive never met you but we are all here for one reason. To lose weigh!

First Off I would like to say you Look GREAT!

I would also like you to know we all go thru this weight loss pause. I think women go thru it more than men because of the water that they retention. So be strong give it some time and you will see the weigh melt away!!! Good Luck And Remember NTG!!!! (NEVER GIVE UP)

[Sugardemon]

I feel ya girly. I understand about wanting to give up... The thoughts running thru your mind: "What's the use" "I'm working so hard to lose weight and it's not happening!" "Why can't I eat what I want, it's not working anyways" "This sux".

I feel ya. But truthfully.. what other choice do you have? Eating the "normal" way doesn't work for our bodies. It hadn't worked in the past and it sure heck ain't gonna work now. It's HORRIBLE that you're in a stall... but it's temporary. Really it is. It's only been one week. It's so long for us that count every minute and struggle every day.. but in the long haul, it's only ONE week. You can start complaining after one month. LOL.. but never give up.

Don't you feel less bloaty, less swollen and you can squeeze in your stomach and not feel fat? On a "normal" eating day, you would never feel that way. KUTGW and don't give up Hope! Your progress had re-inspired me. =P
Laura

[startinova]

Originally Posted by tori_lk

Hi Olivia! Love your name! Just read your journal and man have you had a rough life. In ways, our lives are similar. My dad affected my whole life too. He didn't use drugs though. He molested me from the time I was a baby till 3rd grade. He even tried after that. I didn't know it was wrong until then. My mom found out and then began physically beating me. I've been on my own since I was 15. And I got married at 19. He was abusive as well. Took almost 5 years of that and left him too. So, anyways...been with my husband now for 11 years next month. Married for 6 years. I've been through all kinds of struggles. For a long time I didn't care if I had gotten fatter. It was almost like a shield from no one finding me attractive. I look in the mirror and I don't even look like the girl in my avatar. I have the same pic on facebook and a girl from my work saw it today and she said, Tori...that pic looks nothing like you. Does that mean Im ugly now? Sigh... I wanna look like myself again. I miss me.

Tori and Missgreen--Been there too. My grandmother raised me and let her nephew move into our house when I was a little girl. Found out years later, from his sister, he tried to touch her too. Now, I'm trying to figure out why they would let him move into a house with a little girl and basically no supervision. The worse part is that my mom continues to have a relationship with her "nephew." Oh, this and that, I have to hear about him. I'm like, FOR REAL? Is this **** for real? Are you talking to the molester? She didn't believe me. Anyway--it affected me in so many ways. I, too, have stayed chubby and to this day I feel funny if a man says I'm pretty or attractive. Certain songs I don't like because he use to play them. And, etc.

If that wasn't bad enough, my crush raped me (claims he didn't succeed). Anyway, whatever dude. Yep. I hadn't even had a kiss yet. Really, all he had to do was ask. It would have taken a little bit of time, but I liked him enough to start the process. People can do such damage. I wish I could say that was the end of any abuse, but sadly. Well...you know the rest of this sentence. Those who don't, consider yourself lucky.

[Lynnehermena]

MissGreenEyes

One thing that I found to break my plateau was to go on a meat and eggs only diet. You can look under Stillman's or zero carbs for support. You can have some eggs and maybe even a some cheese - but the bulk of your time is spend eating meat. You can have all the meat you want. After day 3 - you will decrease your meat eating - naturally. But this type of diet makes you lose 4-7 pounds in one week.

I gather my meat together (when I shop). I have turkey burgers, tuna, sausage, beef, chicken.... But it is all about eating meat. Of course you should drink at least 4 of the bottles of water per day. I will bet that if you follow the meat diet for 3 days - you will have lost some weight.

Keep your head up.

-Lynne

[MissG]

Originally Posted by Lynnehermena

MissGreenEyes

One thing that I found to break my plateau was to go on a meat and eggs only diet. You can look under Stillman's or zero carbs for support. You can have some eggs and maybe even a some cheese - but the bulk of your time is spend eating meat. You can have all the meat you want. After day 3 - you will decrease your meat eating - naturally. But this type of diet makes you lose 4-7 pounds in one week.

I gather my meat together (when I shop). I have turkey burgers, tuna, sausage, beef, chicken.... But it is all about eating meat. Of course you should drink at least 4 of the bottles of water per day. I will bet that if you follow the meat diet for 3 days - you will have lost some weight.

Keep your head up.

-Lynne

actually this is what I was doing. I was doing meat,eggs and a bit of cheese. My goal was to ZC. Unfortunately, I dont know if my body is liking it that way. So As of yesterday I am startin again at 20carbs..more vegies. I will see how this works again. Im not sure If my body is carb starved and just holding onto my fat like in starvation mode...who knows. I just know that eating very close to ZC was not allowing me to lose weight. I was doing it that way for about 3wks. I did have a small salad once or twice. I'll see how it goes this time. Thank your for your wonderful input, everyone.

[Dedicated]

Good morning! Hope you figure it out and you see a loss!

[SquadLeader]

Originally Posted by missgreeneyedenvy

actually this is what I was doing. I was doing meat,eggs and a bit of cheese. My goal was to ZC. Unfortunately, I dont know if my body is liking it that way. So As of yesterday I am startin again at 20carbs..more vegies. I will see how this works again. Im not sure If my body is carb starved and just holding onto my fat like in starvation mode...who knows. I just know that eating very close to ZC was not allowing me to lose weight. I was doing it that way for about 3wks. I did have a small salad once or twice. I'll see how it goes this time. Thank your for your wonderful input, everyone.

Hey MissG, what about adding more FAT to your diet? According to one LC diet's claims, is that too much protein can converted to glucose. I started adding coconut oil (EVCO and CO) to my diet. Big difference! Infact, that may be where I first saw one of your posts...I was looking for chocolate bark using coconut oil. Give it a try! LouAnns brand is carried by wally world.

Luv to u. Keep it up!
Joycelyn

[Tommyswife]

Looking over your menu, you might be stalled because you aren't eating enough. Also, sausage, pepperoni has too much sodium and it's processed. Trying eating unprocessed meats. I lose best eating 22% ground beef, ditch the pepperoni and add more fat to your plan.