~~~~~ * H.A.L.T. + B. -----> Gaining control over emotional eating *~~~~~

[dusk]

Well, here i go again with another journal. I decided to entitle this one HALT + B, which is the acronym for:

H - ungry
A - angry
L - onely
T - ired
B - ored

There are many reasons why people eat and my biggest thing is emotional eating. So, i'm in therapy to try and gain control over the issues that are driving me to eat. There is a whole gamat of emotions that will drive me to eat, which are not included in the HALT+B formula, but the main thing to do when I fell like eating is to just HALT and analyze the situation and then take decisive actions to counteract the destructive habit of the emotion or situation involved.

So, it is my desire that by writing down the things that I am learning, it might spur someone else on to either seek help with their issues, or it might help someone see that they aren't alone in fighting their demons, or even maybe hit a cord with someone and that will help them through one more day of eating without caving to their destructive pattern of eating.

My therapist has me reading 2 books:

The Feeling good handbook (I've read the first couple of chapters and am applying the information which deals with distorted thinking)

The ultimate weight solution (we are concentrating more on this book the moment).

SO . . . goals . . . I need goals . . . these are ultimate goals, not short term goals . . .

WHAT DO YOU HOPE TO ACHIEVE?
1. 150 to 160 lbs. – 18% to 20% body fat
2. Flesh not hanging over waistband
3. To not feel like an object to be gawked at
4. To be able to handle being thin and the problems that go with it
5. To gain control over binging

WHAT WILL I DO / TIMELINE INVOLVED / HOW TO ACHIEVE
150 to 160 lbs. – 18% to 20% body fat – 7 POUNDS A MONTH FOR 24 MONTHS (Oct 22, 2009 – Oct 22, 2011) – change eating habits and start exercising
To gain control over binging – by 01 Jan 10 – analyze the situation when the desire hits
Stop eating emotionally – HALT+B – by 01 Jan 10 – remember to HALT+B and then replace the desire to eat with a less destructive attitude
Start exercising regularly – 3 times a week, 20 min a day – by 01 Jan 10 – join a gym
Start cooking – by 22 Oct 09 – make a meal plan and stick to it
Stop fortune telling and mind reading about how I think people will perceive me . . . besides, I’m older now . . . those problems may not exist anymore – 01 Jan 10 – to push these thoughts from my mind when they emerge
Stop worrying about the temptations that could possibly come from being smaller and the fear of failing yet again – 01 Jan 10 – again, this is fortunetelling
Start planning meals instead of eating off the cuff – 01 Jan 10 – make many menus so I can just pull them out and know what will be acceptable to eat on any given day
Gain control of pain – 01 Jul 10 – the only way to do this, I’m afraid, is to lose the weight

I am working on "the right thinking" now. I don't know how long I will have to work on this, but I plan on working on this part of the book as long as it takes for me to get the right thinking down.

I have some homework to do today for tomorrows therapy session. I'll be back later . . .

[Livywilltim-mom]

Love and encouragement to you sweets!

[dusk]

awww, thanks, jamie

how are things with you?

[monet0329]

Hiya D,.. sounds like a great plan!!.... If there is anything I can help with.. just ask

[dusk]

i might be calling because of going through withdrawals - needing you to talk me out of eating everything in sight.

[monet0329]

YOu can call.. but my stupid phone lines are still messing up.. I need to call at&t AGAIN... see if they might wanna help.. no dial tone today.. but if you call the number,. it just ringssss... but we can't hear it.. grrrr..

DO NOT EAT EVERYTHING IS SITE !!!

does that help?

[dusk]

yeah thanks.

I slept a lot today and have eaten a couple of things in the freezer. have not overdone it today.

how are you doing today, Lisa, seeing it's the first day back?

[dusk]

about 8pm i started getting the munchies. i wasn't hungry, but i hadn't eaten in a while either . . . i had lots of pepperoni and dipped them in cream cheese.

it's now 11:47pm and i just got back from returning some videos, but also a hardee's low carb run. I went to 3 of them and they were all closed, even the 24 hour one. i'm having a horrible time of it. thing is, i'm not hungry at all. i'm actually pretty stuffed with pepperoni, but i can't stop thinking about hardee's lowcarb burgers!

makes me want to look up hardee's around the city and find one that is open 24 hours

[dusk]

well, i ended up going to hardee's. I searched and searched my brain as to why I wanted to eat so badly and I just couldn't figure it out. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and went and got a lowcarb combo. As I was driving home, it struck me . . . I wanted to eat because I was in pain. My hand is killing me, but unfortunately, by the time I got home, all I wanted to do was eat.

So now, I have a VERY full belly and I'm still in pain, which is making me want to eat again. How bizarre is that? I'm off to take some pain meds and I HOPE I will remember that PAIN also makes me want to eat uncontrollably.

[Livywilltim-mom]

Happy Fat Burnin' Friday

I am well, thanks for asking! I think it's pretty cool that you were able to connect the urge to eat with the pain you have. It's HUGE if you can find a way to stop the urge or re-direct.

Hugs

[monet0329]

Good morning D...

ur gonna hate me.. but I didn't make it till lunch yesterday.. .. I was running around trying to figure out how to get this desk home.. found a nice deck on Craig's list...at the Habitat for Humanity for only $44.95..so I go there first when I get in Martinsville.. it was too big to fit into my van.. so I told them I had some running to do and I'd be back.. so I went to Kmart.. because they are going outta business.. thought maybe I could get a good deal on one.. they only had one left..it was nice.. but this other one has more storage and less money.... so we left there.. went to goodwill.. just to check.. they had a few.. but not big enough.. in the mean time I was trying to get a hold of Chris.. to see if he could run there on his lunch hour.. no luck..so my mom was expecting me to be there to go out to lunch with her.. well.. we ( Kayden and I) got there and she and her hubbs had bought a new computer.. well she wanted me to set her up.. so I had to do all that plus get her yahoo... igoogle.. and pogo accounts..lol.. so by this time I was running outta time..so she said to go on without her.. plans where to go to Indys family restaurant.. well we didn't have time to sit down and order and wait.. so Kayden wanted Mr Gattis... so yes.. I had pizza...in a rush and back out the door.. I know I could have just had toppings.. and a salad.. but for the amount of time I had.. well I caved....so of course dinner was a bust too..

today.. woke up late and haven't ate a thing... and brought left over chicken breast that I made Alfredo with night before last,.,, sooo.. wish me luck!

So happy you stayed lc yesterday.. hardees run and all.. least it was lc..

[dusk]

Originally Posted by Livywilltim-mom

Happy Fat Burnin' Friday

I am well, thanks for asking! I think it's pretty cool that you were able to connect the urge to eat with the pain you have. It's HUGE if you can find a way to stop the urge or re-direct.

Hugs

i'm glad your doing well, Jaimie. All I have to do to redirect on the pain is take pain meds, tylenol will do. It's just making that connection BEFORE i actually get into a feeding frenzy. I know I can do it, it might take some time before I'm able identify it on a consistant basis, but rome wasn't built in a day, after all. At least, that's my story and i'm stickin' to it.

Originally Posted by monet0329

Good morning D...

ur gonna hate me.. but I didn't make it till lunch yesterday..

i don't hate you at all. i totally understand about getting caught away from home and having the best of intentions, but it's just easier to eat what the world has set up for us to eat instead of trying to find something that we can eat. You were busy, you were stressed, you were running around with your head cut off! it's not easy to counteract such things.

Originally Posted by monet0329

today.. woke up late and haven't ate a thing... and brought left over chicken breast that I made Alfredo with night before last,.,, sooo.. wish me luck!

chicken breast is a good place to start. STAY STRONG, MY LISA!

Originally Posted by monet0329

So happy you stayed lc yesterday.. hardees run and all.. least it was lc..

I haven't plugged my numbers into fitday yet to find out the damage. I'll do that this evening when I get home after the movies. I'm going to see FAME today. i loved the tv show, so i wonder how this modern generation movie will play out.

no worries about popcorn. I'm not one to eat in the movie theater. it's all part of my weird food thing . . . i don't like to eat in front of other people. strange, huh?

[monet0329]

NO FAIR!!!.. I wanna gooo.. I LOVE that movie.. LOve I tell ya..lol.. oh man.. I wanna go0o0o0o... .. but I am stuck here..lol.. so you have fun.. enjoy it for me too.. ..

I understand about the eating in front of people.. sometimes... when we go out.. I think people are staring at me.. thinking.. gonna leave anything for us.. and they just may think that way.. but if they actually watched me eat at a buffet..and the people who are with me.. I don't pig out at all.. 1 plate usually maybe an extra meat on a stick on some days..lol.. but people always think the heavy people eat everything they see in site..

but I get it..understand why you feel that way.. I also don't look at other people when we are out.. I face my back to the crowd kinda thing.. and if too may people are there.. we don't go in..lol.. we don't like crowds..lol. ..

like.. a party... I would rather have it with a few personal friends.. not a place where there are alot of people ..especially if I don't know them.. lol..

ok gotta run..

[monet0329]

also.. my girl from So You Think YOU Can Dance is in the new Fame.. short haired blond... Carrington is her last name.. ferget her first name dang it..lol.. but yeahhhhh.. I wanna seeeee it..maybe her first name is Carrington..oh well.. you'll see... have fun fun fun !!

[dusk]

Originally Posted by monet0329

NO FAIR!!!.. I wanna gooo.. I LOVE that movie.. LOve I tell ya..lol.. oh man.. I wanna go0o0o0o... .. but I am stuck here..lol.. so you have fun.. enjoy it for me too.. ..

I ended up not going. I just can't seem to get enough sleep and sleep is all i am doing. I think I'll go next week during the week. Not that many people go during the week at the early show.

I understand about the eating in front of people.. sometimes... when we go out.. I think people are staring at me.. thinking.. gonna leave anything for us.. and they just may think that way.. but if they actually watched me eat at a buffet..and the people who are with me.. I don't pig out at all.. 1 plate usually maybe an extra meat on a stick on some days..lol.. but people always think the heavy people eat everything they see in site..

yeah . . . i accidently bumped into someone the other day and they acted like "If you weren't so fat, you wouldn't have hit me." I apologized profusely, but they just huffed and puffed and rolled their eyes. Big people get a bum rap.

but I get it..understand why you feel that way.. I also don't look at other people when we are out.. I face my back to the crowd kinda thing.. and if too may people are there.. we don't go in..lol.. we don't like crowds..lol. ..

i don't like crowds, either.

[dusk]

i'm feeling a bit down today and that has me wanting the wrong kinds of food. I almost caved to these feelings, but high-five, i didn't.

[monet0329]

Originally Posted by dusk

i'm feeling a bit down today and that has me wanting the wrong kinds of food. I almost caved to these feelings, but high-five, i didn't.

EAT SUMPIN WITH FAT IT IT..opps.. it helps the down mood..

[dusk]

does it? i didn't know that. i went to hardees again. it was the only meal i had today. funny how one day i want to eat and eat even though i'm full and the next day i eat then don't want anything because i'm not hungry. I'm weird.

[dusk]

I have not figured out my carbs for yesterday yet . . . but here is today's. . .

24g carbs = 15g net

[monet0329]

Originally Posted by dusk

does it? i didn't know that. i went to hardees again. it was the only meal i had today. funny how one day i want to eat and eat even though i'm full and the next day i eat then don't want anything because i'm not hungry. I'm weird.

remember in Fat Head.. when they talked about low fat diets?? he said in the studies people that were on a low fat diet ended up taking something for depression..

[dusk]

ohhhhhhh! that's right!

[dusk]

mr. tom showed up last night.

[dusk]

man, i have slept and slept . . . starving now, but i'm afraid to eat. I'm afraid that once i get food in me I'll go crazy and want to eat everything and won't be able to control it.

[dusk]

i'm doing pretty good. i made some tuna salad and it seems to have filled me up nicely.

i just got off the phone with my 70 year old father. it's sad to know that he is in better shape than i am. but i'm working on that . . .

i realized yesterday that i need a hobby, preferably an action packed hobby, so i've been preparing my mind to get back into the gym . . . also, looking at my nutrition as my hobby. if i'm going back to the gym, i've got to have the nutrition in place as well since "abs are made in the kitchen." it's not that i want abs or that i want the muscles i had before, but i want to get into shape instead of getting winded just walking to the bathroom. i can see me ending up like lisa sellers . . .

part one: http://www.youtube.com/v/AkvdEoM4Uqs...</param><param

part two : http://www.youtube.com/v/LjVGKBzkXCY...</param><param

i feel so sorry for her, but i don't want to end up like her. if i don't get control of myself, i WILL end up like her.

anyway, i have plans to go to the gym i have been wanting to visit, tomorrow. I am planning on getting a membership.

what else? Oh, i'm working on getting menu's together . . . basically they are linda sue's menu's again. i wanted to do this before this week, but i've been sleeping like snow white. Hey . . . where's my prince?!

http://www.genaw.com/lowcarb/oct2001.html

[dusk]

22 g carbs = 18 net

i had to break out the gum this evening. i'm not hungry, but have the munchies. I think it's because i'm bored.

[monet0329]

Good morning my friend.. ..

again.. thanks for the invite to the movies.. It was a great movie.. hope you liked it as well as I did.. ..

your plan looks good... you can do it !!

[dusk]

Hi Lisa. I wonder what happened to cookie.

I'm having computer problems and will be taking it to the doctors today. Don't know when I'll get it back, so I won't be on line for a while.

hang tough , lisa!

[monet0329]

dern computer anyway huh.. hope it gets better

[dusk]

took my computer in and when they looked at it there was nothing wrong with it. I got it home and it was doing the same thing again. the only difference was that I was using the power cord and they didn't, so I detached my power cord and it worked fine here at home too. I called the geek squad and asked them if they had ever heard of that before and they said no, so back I go tomorrow to see if they can find out if it's the power cord or not. They said that they may have to send it into the shop to find out if it's the actual "powercord plugin" or not, but i'm hoping it's the cord itself.

then I didn't eat right today. bad choices - totally my fault . . . no excuses.

[monet0329]

todays a new day... .. hope its the cord as well..