My Road to the ME I Know I Can Be!

brandyxoxo25 · 10-13-2009, 12:41 AM

I have never been good at keeping a journal or diary. As a young teen I alsways wanted to, because it seemed the thing to do, but could never get past the first couple of days. So, this will be my first real attempt at keeping a journal. I want to document my last, final time at this lifestyle that we call Low Carb. I want a place to come back to, to see how far I have come, and to find motivation when I hit those God forsaken stalls that I know will eventually rear their ugly heads. So, here I am............................

My name is Brandy. I am 32yrs old. The wife of Kevin, whom loves me for me, no matter my weight, no matter my mood, no matter what life throws our way. Meeting Kevin was the best thing that ever happened to me. A year before I met him I was miserable. I weighed 307lbs and had told myself that I would never find love, and decided that I was okay with that. I was not okay with my weight however, and decided to start LCing for the first time. In 9mths I lost 120lbs. I had never felt better in my life. Men started to notice me. I even had them offering to buy me stuff at the gas station. I had never gotten so much attention in my entire life. Then I met Kevin. He asked me out to lunch, we were married 4mths later, and had our son Zachary in Feb. of the next year. Sounds picture perfect, right?? Well, the love was and is perfect. But I got comfortable. Too comfortable. So comfortable that I gained back every single ounce that I had worked so hard to lose.

Which brings me to the present, 4yrs later, and 290lbs. Last week I had to go to the emergency room for a severe UTI, only to find out that my Type 2 Diabetes was WAY out of control. I have know that I have diabetes for about 10yrs now, but for some reason thought that if I pretended that I didnt have it it would go away. It didn't. Last Friday I found out that my fasting blood sugar was 455. It is suppose to be under 100. I was immediately put on insulin. I was extremely upset about this, and the thought of having to give myself a shot several times a day devistated me. My husband was very upset with me. I was basically told that I was being selfish, and that he and Zachary needed me to be healthy. They needed me to live. It was at that point that it really hit me. I had gone off and on LC countless times over the years, only to sabotage myself by thinking, "my hysband loves me no matter what I weigh". And this is true, but what I didn't realize was how my health actually affects my family. So, last Friday, for the final time, I went back to low carb.

It has been a little over a week. I started out last Friday at 310lbs. Today I weigh 290lbs. 20lbs in one week is mind blowing! But what is even better is that my blood sugars are getting under control. This morning my fasting bs was 148. Still not where I want it to be, but far far better than the 455 it was just a week ago. I have also already grown accustomed to giving myself my shots, and actually feel good about the fact that I can do it with such ease, and that I am moving my health in the right direction.

If you are reading this right now thank you for listening. I can't promise that I will post evey day, but I will try to make an effort at keeping this journal updated. I think it is important for my journey, and hopefully to inspire others in theirs. I will be 120lbs lighter again, and can't wait to look back on this journal to see how far I have come.

brandyxoxo25 · 10-13-2009, 07:40 AM

I am attaching before pics so that I can track my progress. Hopefully in a couple of months we will see a difference.

brandyxoxo25 · 10-13-2009, 08:24 AM

BS this morning was 153. Not sure how to get it to go down, maybe it is just attributed to the extra weight. Not sure, but I still dont like that number. Far better than the 455 a week ago, but still. So far today I have have smashed cauliflower w/ butter and ceasar dressing for breakfast. Isn't it funny the things you start eating for breakfast when LCing?!? Lol! I have major housework to do today, and I think I will put on a roast for dinner. Kevin went to work at his new job this morning, so it is the first day Zach and I have been alone in, gosh, 2 months! It's sad and lonely here today, but I will keep myself busy, and he will be home before we know it. I will be back to post later tonight.

brandyxoxo25 · 10-13-2009, 08:03 PM

Today wen t fairly well. Stuck to my paln! But I had a weird fluctuation in my BS tonight that I cant explain. It dropped down to 89 for no reason?? I ate something and that brought it back up, go figure. Anyway, other than it being the longest day in history with Kevin gone to his new job, today was good. I am happy to have my husband home, my son playing in his room, and another day successfully done low carb!

brandyxoxo25 · 10-14-2009, 02:19 PM

Me here..................................

Today was an awesome day for my BS!!! I woke up this morning with a fast of 103!!! ANd my numbers have ranged from 119-130 for most of the day! I couldnt be happier with how quickly this lifestyle and my insulin is helping my diabetes!

I have also done very well with LC today! We even went throught the drive-thru at McDonalds and I ordered an unsweet tea. We got chicken nuggets(MY FAVORITE) for Zachary and I wasnt even tempted to eat one! Its the little accomplishments that feel good!

Tonight we are having BBQ ribs for dinner. I will have less than 2TB of sauce on my ribs at 5 carbs per 2tbs. Other than that today was good!

brandyxoxo25 · 10-14-2009, 07:24 PM

Oh! Oh! Oh! Guess what?!?! I have to add to todays post! We got a new baby! His name is Ace! We named him that because he was born in the cockpit of an old airplane and was rescued with his brothers and sisters by a lovely lady named Mindy. He is only 4wks old and the tiniest thing I have ever seen! He is eating soft food and kitten formula, a low carb kitty! Lol! I am soooooooo in love!!!

Tommyswife · 10-14-2009, 11:07 PM

Hey beautiful. Welcome to journal land. You're doing so well. I'm cheering you on.

brandyxoxo25 · 10-15-2009, 04:34 PM

Aw!! Thank you so much!!!

Tommyswife · 10-15-2009, 05:02 PM

You're so welcome.

brandyxoxo25 · 10-16-2009, 09:57 AM

Didnt post yesterday. Very busy day, and then this morning I woke up with a horrible cold. I am going to curl up on the couch and spend the day watch disney movies with Zachary. Eating went well yesterday! We got Kevins first paycheck and went grocery shopping last night. I got everything I could possibly want for my new way of eating! That was fun! This cold however is not, so I am going to lay down!

brandyxoxo25 · 10-18-2009, 11:22 AM

Sorry I missed a couple of days. THat cold hit me hard! Anyway, I am back! I stuck to plan pretty well while I was sick, which I am very proud of, because normally I would have "fed" the cold. It has been a pretty laid back weekend so far. I will be back later to post about the day.

Elisa Blue · 11-09-2009, 09:56 PM

Im rooting for you and i do hope that your cold gets better soon !

brandyxoxo25 · 11-20-2009, 02:03 PM

I am addicted to food.............................................. ..................

How come it is that it is all or nothing with me?!? I am either super obsessed with LCing or completely off track. One bite of something carby or one sip of soda, and I convince myself that I might as well eat whatever I want for the rest of the day, which turns into a 3 week binge.

Fortunately this time I didnt do much damage, other that screwing up my BS again! My weight actually went down 3lbs?! Whatever! I will take it! But my fasting BS this morning was 303............................................... ......I cant have that!

Also, I came to realize last night while laying in the bathtub, that the only time I ever feel good about myself is when I am LCing. Soooooooo, why am I not LCing?!?!?! So this morning I woke up refreshed and decided that I CHOOSE to feel good about myself every day from here on out!! LC BABY!!!

Tommyswife · 11-20-2009, 03:33 PM

Hey lady. Good to see. You are so worth it.

brandyxoxo25 · 11-20-2009, 08:05 PM

Hey you! Thanks for your support!

Tonight I got some insight from a very good LCF. It is that "kiss of death" first bite that gets me every time. I will not take that first bite! I am vowing this to myself and whoever reads this journal! I AM GOING TO DO IT THIS FINAL TIME!! NO MORE FIRST BITES!!!!!!!!

Cyone · 11-20-2009, 09:52 PM

Hey there, just stopping through to show some love and support,!!!!

brandyxoxo25 · 11-20-2009, 10:38 PM

Thank you Cyone! I will take all the love and support I can get!

10-13-2009, 12:41 AM	#1
brandyxoxo25 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Daytona Beach, FL Posts: 2,538 Gallery: brandyxoxo25 Stats: 310/292/199 WOE: Making myself healthy through LC!! Start Date: 10/02/2009	My Road to the ME I Know I Can Be! I have never been good at keeping a journal or diary. As a young teen I alsways wanted to, because it seemed the thing to do, but could never get past the first couple of days. So, this will be my first real attempt at keeping a journal. I want to document my last, final time at this lifestyle that we call Low Carb. I want a place to come back to, to see how far I have come, and to find motivation when I hit those God forsaken stalls that I know will eventually rear their ugly heads. So, here I am............................ My name is Brandy. I am 32yrs old. The wife of Kevin, whom loves me for me, no matter my weight, no matter my mood, no matter what life throws our way. Meeting Kevin was the best thing that ever happened to me. A year before I met him I was miserable. I weighed 307lbs and had told myself that I would never find love, and decided that I was okay with that. I was not okay with my weight however, and decided to start LCing for the first time. In 9mths I lost 120lbs. I had never felt better in my life. Men started to notice me. I even had them offering to buy me stuff at the gas station. I had never gotten so much attention in my entire life. Then I met Kevin. He asked me out to lunch, we were married 4mths later, and had our son Zachary in Feb. of the next year. Sounds picture perfect, right?? Well, the love was and is perfect. But I got comfortable. Too comfortable. So comfortable that I gained back every single ounce that I had worked so hard to lose. Which brings me to the present, 4yrs later, and 290lbs. Last week I had to go to the emergency room for a severe UTI, only to find out that my Type 2 Diabetes was WAY out of control. I have know that I have diabetes for about 10yrs now, but for some reason thought that if I pretended that I didnt have it it would go away. It didn't. Last Friday I found out that my fasting blood sugar was 455. It is suppose to be under 100. I was immediately put on insulin. I was extremely upset about this, and the thought of having to give myself a shot several times a day devistated me. My husband was very upset with me. I was basically told that I was being selfish, and that he and Zachary needed me to be healthy. They needed me to live. It was at that point that it really hit me. I had gone off and on LC countless times over the years, only to sabotage myself by thinking, "my hysband loves me no matter what I weigh". And this is true, but what I didn't realize was how my health actually affects my family. So, last Friday, for the final time, I went back to low carb. It has been a little over a week. I started out last Friday at 310lbs. Today I weigh 290lbs. 20lbs in one week is mind blowing! But what is even better is that my blood sugars are getting under control. This morning my fasting bs was 148. Still not where I want it to be, but far far better than the 455 it was just a week ago. I have also already grown accustomed to giving myself my shots, and actually feel good about the fact that I can do it with such ease, and that I am moving my health in the right direction. If you are reading this right now thank you for listening. I can't promise that I will post evey day, but I will try to make an effort at keeping this journal updated. I think it is important for my journey, and hopefully to inspire others in theirs. I will be 120lbs lighter again, and can't wait to look back on this journal to see how far I have come. __________________ ~~Brandy~~ 310/292/199 My Road To The ME I Know I Can Be Terry-"Dr. Atkins called that first bite the kiss of death, and he knew exactly what he was talking about. If you know yourself well enough to know that you can't handle that first bite, then you can't take that first bite. That sucks, I know, but consider the alternative"

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10-13-2009, 07:40 AM	#2
brandyxoxo25 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Daytona Beach, FL Posts: 2,538 Gallery: brandyxoxo25 Stats: 310/292/199 WOE: Making myself healthy through LC!! Start Date: 10/02/2009	I am attaching before pics so that I can track my progress. Hopefully in a couple of months we will see a difference.

10-13-2009, 08:24 AM	#3
brandyxoxo25 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Daytona Beach, FL Posts: 2,538 Gallery: brandyxoxo25 Stats: 310/292/199 WOE: Making myself healthy through LC!! Start Date: 10/02/2009	BS this morning was 153. Not sure how to get it to go down, maybe it is just attributed to the extra weight. Not sure, but I still dont like that number. Far better than the 455 a week ago, but still. So far today I have have smashed cauliflower w/ butter and ceasar dressing for breakfast. Isn't it funny the things you start eating for breakfast when LCing?!? Lol! I have major housework to do today, and I think I will put on a roast for dinner. Kevin went to work at his new job this morning, so it is the first day Zach and I have been alone in, gosh, 2 months! It's sad and lonely here today, but I will keep myself busy, and he will be home before we know it. I will be back to post later tonight.

10-13-2009, 08:03 PM	#4
brandyxoxo25 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Daytona Beach, FL Posts: 2,538 Gallery: brandyxoxo25 Stats: 310/292/199 WOE: Making myself healthy through LC!! Start Date: 10/02/2009	Today wen t fairly well. Stuck to my paln! But I had a weird fluctuation in my BS tonight that I cant explain. It dropped down to 89 for no reason?? I ate something and that brought it back up, go figure. Anyway, other than it being the longest day in history with Kevin gone to his new job, today was good. I am happy to have my husband home, my son playing in his room, and another day successfully done low carb!

10-14-2009, 02:19 PM	#5
brandyxoxo25 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Daytona Beach, FL Posts: 2,538 Gallery: brandyxoxo25 Stats: 310/292/199 WOE: Making myself healthy through LC!! Start Date: 10/02/2009	Me here.................................. Today was an awesome day for my BS!!! I woke up this morning with a fast of 103!!! ANd my numbers have ranged from 119-130 for most of the day! I couldnt be happier with how quickly this lifestyle and my insulin is helping my diabetes! I have also done very well with LC today! We even went throught the drive-thru at McDonalds and I ordered an unsweet tea. We got chicken nuggets(MY FAVORITE) for Zachary and I wasnt even tempted to eat one! Its the little accomplishments that feel good! Tonight we are having BBQ ribs for dinner. I will have less than 2TB of sauce on my ribs at 5 carbs per 2tbs. Other than that today was good!

10-14-2009, 11:07 PM	#7
Tommyswife Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 3,512 Gallery: Tommyswife Stats: 221/180/150 WOE: Atkins Start Date: Re-Committed April 12, 2009	Hey beautiful. Welcome to journal land. You're doing so well. I'm cheering you on.

10-15-2009, 04:34 PM	#8
brandyxoxo25 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Daytona Beach, FL Posts: 2,538 Gallery: brandyxoxo25 Stats: 310/292/199 WOE: Making myself healthy through LC!! Start Date: 10/02/2009	Aw!! Thank you so much!!!

10-15-2009, 05:02 PM	#9
Tommyswife Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 3,512 Gallery: Tommyswife Stats: 221/180/150 WOE: Atkins Start Date: Re-Committed April 12, 2009	You're so welcome.

10-16-2009, 09:57 AM	#10
brandyxoxo25 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Daytona Beach, FL Posts: 2,538 Gallery: brandyxoxo25 Stats: 310/292/199 WOE: Making myself healthy through LC!! Start Date: 10/02/2009	Didnt post yesterday. Very busy day, and then this morning I woke up with a horrible cold. I am going to curl up on the couch and spend the day watch disney movies with Zachary. Eating went well yesterday! We got Kevins first paycheck and went grocery shopping last night. I got everything I could possibly want for my new way of eating! That was fun! This cold however is not, so I am going to lay down!

10-18-2009, 11:22 AM	#11
brandyxoxo25 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Daytona Beach, FL Posts: 2,538 Gallery: brandyxoxo25 Stats: 310/292/199 WOE: Making myself healthy through LC!! Start Date: 10/02/2009	Sorry I missed a couple of days. THat cold hit me hard! Anyway, I am back! I stuck to plan pretty well while I was sick, which I am very proud of, because normally I would have "fed" the cold. It has been a pretty laid back weekend so far. I will be back later to post about the day.

11-09-2009, 09:56 PM	#12
Elisa Blue Junior LCF Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Toronto Posts: 7 Gallery: Elisa Blue WOE: Atkins Induction (ish) Start Date: April 23 2009	Im rooting for you and i do hope that your cold gets better soon !

11-20-2009, 02:03 PM	#13
brandyxoxo25 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Daytona Beach, FL Posts: 2,538 Gallery: brandyxoxo25 Stats: 310/292/199 WOE: Making myself healthy through LC!! Start Date: 10/02/2009	I am addicted to food.............................................. .................. How come it is that it is all or nothing with me?!? I am either super obsessed with LCing or completely off track. One bite of something carby or one sip of soda, and I convince myself that I might as well eat whatever I want for the rest of the day, which turns into a 3 week binge. Fortunately this time I didnt do much damage, other that screwing up my BS again! My weight actually went down 3lbs?! Whatever! I will take it! But my fasting BS this morning was 303............................................... ......I cant have that! Also, I came to realize last night while laying in the bathtub, that the only time I ever feel good about myself is when I am LCing. Soooooooo, why am I not LCing?!?!?! So this morning I woke up refreshed and decided that I CHOOSE to feel good about myself every day from here on out!! LC BABY!!!

11-20-2009, 03:33 PM	#14
Tommyswife Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 3,512 Gallery: Tommyswife Stats: 221/180/150 WOE: Atkins Start Date: Re-Committed April 12, 2009	Hey lady. Good to see. You are so worth it.

11-20-2009, 08:05 PM	#15
brandyxoxo25 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Daytona Beach, FL Posts: 2,538 Gallery: brandyxoxo25 Stats: 310/292/199 WOE: Making myself healthy through LC!! Start Date: 10/02/2009	Hey you! Thanks for your support! Tonight I got some insight from a very good LCF. It is that "kiss of death" first bite that gets me every time. I will not take that first bite! I am vowing this to myself and whoever reads this journal! I AM GOING TO DO IT THIS FINAL TIME!! NO MORE FIRST BITES!!!!!!!!

11-20-2009, 09:52 PM	#16
Cyone Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Montgomery,AL Posts: 853 Gallery: Cyone Stats: 331.2/331.2/230 WOE: GreySheets/Stillman's Start Date: Determined be my last start date:11-05-09	Hey there, just stopping through to show some love and support,!!!!

11-20-2009, 10:38 PM	#17
brandyxoxo25 MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Daytona Beach, FL Posts: 2,538 Gallery: brandyxoxo25 Stats: 310/292/199 WOE: Making myself healthy through LC!! Start Date: 10/02/2009	Thank you Cyone! I will take all the love and support I can get!