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Old 01-26-2009, 09:50 AM   #1
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It's All About The Journey

New Year, New Journal. My previous journal can be located at My Mind Is Made Up

The journey has been very interesting; I started at 212 got down to 179ish and am back up to 200-something. I am planning to go to the gym and weigh for the official number some time this week.

I'm coming back to what works for me... Atkins and exercise. My goal is to start off on Atkins and switch down the road to a more inclusive eating lifestyle. The longterm way of eating will include all the things I love but with more reverence for their place in my life and their impact if I'm not mindful. That actually has been my goal all along but I'm making it official from the outset.

From my last experience I learned I am an emotional eater. In this chapter I plan to stay aware of that part of myself, address it when it comes up, but not focus on it otherwise.

Oh yes, and be forewarned I sometimes get loooooooong winded in my journal entries. One paragraph turns into two and before I know it I've written a book. The good thing is they're not all that way.

Let's get on with the gettin' on because... It's All About The Journey
Right? Right!

"I stand on the brink of all that is good feeling eager, optimistic anticipation with no feeling of impatience, doubt, or unworthiness hindering the receiving of it." ~from the book Ask and It Is Given
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Old 01-26-2009, 10:23 AM   #2
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So What's New

Let me see if I can sum things up about what's been going on for us...

At the close of 2008 I got PRK on my eyes and am now glasses free and LOVING IT!

The little ones aren't so little anymore and as a family we are doing really good. My daughter has improved her behavior and while we have hiccups here and there things are much improved. My son is nearing puberty and his personality is changing but he's still a really good kid and rarely gives me trouble (Please Lord let it stay that way!).

I reassessed my educational goals and Iíve changed my double major to a major with a minor and Lord willing Iíll be graduating in Spring or Summer of 2010 rather than 2011. I really wanted to double major however I need this educational journey to be over. Iím whipped and itís taking a toll on me. Iíve aged considerably in the past 3 going on 4 years. Time to be done.

I have a love interest and thatís all Iím going to say about that.

I've been writing more; mostly raps bcuz my sweety is in the music biz but I also wrote a dirty little diddy for my niece who is trying to put together an anthology of racey (sexy) stories for full figured women. I'll tell you if I get picked for print.

I started and stopped smoking, haven't exercised in months of Sunday's, and haven't seriously considered low carb till recently.

And now I'm BAAAACK!

Today's Menu:
Breakfast: hearty bowl from JITB (Jack In the Box), diet coke
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Old 01-26-2009, 03:33 PM   #3
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welcome back. I am here for you!!
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Old 01-26-2009, 03:33 PM   #4
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Hey beautiful. You're one lady I'm happy to hear from. Ooooh you have a boyfriend. I'm telling! LOL
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Old 01-27-2009, 10:35 PM   #5
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welcome back. I am here for you!!
Thank you! I appreciate that Bekki
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Old 01-27-2009, 10:38 PM   #6
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Hey beautiful. You're one lady I'm happy to hear from. Ooooh you have a boyfriend. I'm telling! LOL
LOL. He's an associate that turned into a friend that turned into a love interest so it's been a different experience.
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Old 01-27-2009, 11:04 PM   #7
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Why is it that clothes that don't fit can deflate even the most exciting event.

The film festival has returned and I was walking on clouds when my indie film partner in crime told me he couldn't make the opening shin-dig and gave me the honor. OMG!!!!!! I was on cloud n9ne I tell ya!

Theeeeeen, I came home to grab something film festival media mixer appropriate and BANG, felt the pangs of can't fit a dang thang! Ouch!!

I finally found something to wear, a little tighter than I would have liked but still not bad. I couldn't wear what I wanted to wear and that bothered me but I let it go and went to the event.

I had a blast at the mixer and then picked up the kids and went to school and now I'm home and it's quiet. I'm feeling pretty insecure right now and not happy I put back on the weight.

Buuut this too shall pass, right!

Okay, I'm wiping the snot off my face and I am going to think about something positive now. *Sigh*

B: hearty bowl from JITB (no hashbrown), diet coke
L: 2 chicken soft taco, enchilada, chips, salsa, ice cream, coffee
D: 2 spoonfuls of beans and rice

I'm still walking into the light so my menus look as dirty as a dope fiend at a drug testing but I'm working on it. I am posting my menu so I can see what I'm doing in black and white. "Go towards the light!"

I gotta get my game tight so I can strut just a little for the film festival's opening gala on Feb 25th. Hmmm, we'll see, no pressure.
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Old 01-27-2009, 11:06 PM   #8
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On a more positive note... I like my first goal of 175 That's all. Nite Nite
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Old 02-01-2009, 12:53 AM   #9
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I went to the gym Friday, got on the scale, looked at the number, sighed at the number, and got on the treadmill for 30 minutes. A co-worker invited me to go and I took him up on his offer. He works out regularly and it was just the inspiration I needed to get things rolling again.

I have been off plan since last recording my meals but am committing to a 14 day personal challenge. Anyone's welcome to join but even if there are no takers I'm off and running.. okay jogging

I have a wonderful day of wine & chocolate pairing, and bath & massage planned for me and my sweetie on Valentines Day and I want to feel good when I disrobe and slide into the fragrant tub with him. Call me vain but I'm pretty motivated.

I'll update on my meal and exercise progress when I can. I plan to wear a rubberband around my wrist to remind me because I can sometimes make some mindless meal choices and I really don't want to slip up.

I'm off to find a rubberband...
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Old 02-01-2009, 07:28 AM   #10
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I'm in on the 14 day challenge!!
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Old 02-01-2009, 09:07 PM   #11
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Hi Tamika! Glad to see you back. I wanna get in on that 14 day personal challenge too!
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Old 02-02-2009, 03:33 PM   #12
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I'm in on the 14 day challenge!!
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Hi Tamika! Glad to see you back. I wanna get in on that 14 day personal challenge too!
Let's do it Actually I'm trying to catch up with y'all, I'm the one that's been slackin'
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Old 02-02-2009, 03:54 PM   #13
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I knew I needed a rubberband because I have so much going on at once. I did real good through day one, which was yesterday and blew it at dinner by grabbing fast food on the run. A honest mistake so no beatings took place last night.

Today I am off to a decent start. A little cheat this morning but it is a considerable improvement from before so still no pity sessions.

After my little slip this morning I have been a good girl... honest. The Lord blessed me with a free meal at work. I ate ham, turkey, salad, cheese, and had some coffee. I didn't have breakfast because I didn't want the shake I grabbed from the fridge. I didn't have a taste for something so cold this morning. I assure you I do NOT believe in starving. It's probably one of the main reasons I chose Atkins.

At lunch I still had that shake staring at me but I still didn't want it. I started wondering how the heck I was going to get something "real" to eat. Not too long after my thinking about food a secretary called and told me to go check on a lunch delivery she was expecting for one of our meetings. BLESSING! I was able to grab some of their food after I checked on them.

I just went back a minute ago and grabbed some coffee and iced tea, yum, the perfect appetite suppressant . I won't be able to grab something till I leave for class in an hour plus and I don't want to cheat AND I still donít want the shake. Iíll most likely drink it during class later tonight.

I can feel my weight today. My back hurts No structured exercise this weekend besides running around (which was more driving than anything physical) but I did have to pick something up from the mall so Iím going to count that as a brief walk.

Thatís enough chatter-boxing for me. Be back another timeÖ
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Old 02-03-2009, 05:28 PM   #14
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Today has been a successful day

B: egg omelette, diet soda
L: atkins shake
S: pork skins, nuts, diet soda
D: chicken sandwich, diet soda (I'll eat this during class tonight)

Got on the scale at the kids Dr. appt today and the scale said 210 so that felt good. Anyhoo it never counts unless it's the same scale so I'll have to wait till I get back to the gym at work.

I'm doing less mindless eating and that is good.

I'm off to class...
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Old 02-04-2009, 08:19 AM   #15
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Great start Tamika! I see you are on the ball!
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Old 02-04-2009, 08:32 AM   #16
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Good morning lady.
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Old 02-04-2009, 11:48 PM   #17
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Great start Tamika! I see you are on the ball!
I'm trying

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Good morning lady.
Good evening beautiful.


I did it again...
I made it through another day of LCing, Yay. I need to get some more food so I won't get tempted. I notice when I don't have stuff I can reach for when I first start getting hungry it gets all bad the longer I go without. I've been carrying around my back up can of shake for when I need a quick hunger quencher.

I've been at home with sick kiddies for the past two days. No real exercise still I gotta get on that one So much to do so little time... No Excuses!

Tomorrow I am going to try and get on the scale and see what's up. It will be the same one I weighed on before so it will be an official number.

Till tomorrow.
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Old 02-06-2009, 03:49 PM   #18
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-2lbs okay... I guess I can celebrate 2 lbs in 5 days, especially since I haven't been to the letter on the carbs or working out. I probably had too high of expectations for my first week.

I cancelled Valentines plans... my sweetie left to L.A. last night and has a photo shoot either Saturday or Sunday when he comes back. Since he doesn't know what day and I don't want to be disappointed or put any pressure on him I just saved us the headache and cancelled it. If he is available there is still wine tasting but the massage will have to be another day

I'm happy to say the ordeal did not send me to the fridge to sulk.
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Old 02-19-2009, 10:41 PM   #19
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I'm frustrated with myself. I haven't been following a low carb plan. I'm considering joining the biggest loser club.

Does anyone have any experience with the BL club?

I need to regroup and figure out what I'm going to do. I don't want signing up for the BL club to be like buying exercise videos and not watching them...

I'm not happy

Carrying around this much extra weight makes me insecure and I really wabt this weight off for good. I don't want to do "try" one more time. I want to start something and stick with it for life... I'm tired.

Today I make a choice to smile through the pain and see what I can come up with tomorrow.
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Old 02-20-2009, 02:05 PM   #20
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Still not happy today and vented to two good listners that pointed out this is just what I need to kick my butt into gear.

One of them also helped me outline a way to get my goal of working out accomplished.

I realized on my own I need to stop focusing on what I can't do, like go to the gym as much as I used to, and start focusing on what I can do like get a 30 minute workout in during the day or every couple of days or at least walk for goodness sake. Even my VP has lost weight!!!

One of the two people I was venting to took the soda I had taken from the fridge and said she was going to give it away for me, I thanked her.

Okay so, fit in the gym... fit in the gym... gym in the fit..

I will make time to fit in 30 minutes of gym time, I will not sign up for BL Online Club, I will refocus on my Low Carb eating AND I will stop having a pity party.

That's all for now
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Old 02-25-2009, 06:19 PM   #21
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Hi lady! I know how you feel. I am a little frustrated myself. I will get it together though and I know you will too!
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Old 03-01-2009, 11:40 AM   #22
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Hey there sweets!
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Old 03-04-2009, 03:36 PM   #23
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There you go again! Going MIA like me! LOL

Where you at girl!?!?
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Old 03-09-2009, 04:38 PM   #24
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I'm here...
Sorry Nkechi & Mekia.

Today is Day 1. I'm having a pretty good day, especially since I'm on my way again.

I set myself up for success today and got a few shakes from the store along with a salad for lunch. I also bought two fitness magazines to give my mind something to focus on.

This morning I skimmed over a nice article and took away a pretty interesting message. The article was on CNN by way of Oprah.com:
"Your own critical gaze
How to let go of trying to keep up with an idealized version of ourselves"


The part of the article that stood out:
"We say that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder," but what would it mean to look at ourselves as though we really believed this were true? The Tibetans have a saying: Who looks not with compassion sees not what the eyes of compassion see.

Today, when the suspicious stranger looks into the mirror at her own reflection, I'm going to remind her of that. And who knows? If she can summon enough compassion to let go of her critical gaze, maybe she'll catch a glimpse of a woman dissolving in laughter-and see her with the eyes of a friend."




Today I'm okay with me and not so disgusted...

Menu:
B: denver omelete with cheese, iced coffee with 4 splenda
S: EAS carb control chocolate shake
L/S: ceasar salad, water with crystal light
D: Still To Come

Exercise: None so far

Last edited by mstamika; 03-09-2009 at 04:41 PM..
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Old 03-09-2009, 07:28 PM   #25
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Glad to see you back!
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Old 03-17-2009, 02:07 PM   #26
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I did really good for a few days in a row and then took a break on the weekend.... buuuuuuuuuut I'm back at it. Yeterday was good and today is going well.

Still no exercise
I haven't given in on getting the lead out of my exercise game. I know it's just a matter of time before I'm on the move again
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Old 03-17-2009, 02:18 PM   #27
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Just thought I'd say Hi and give some encouragement! You can do it!

I noticed we're about the same weight and started (again for me, too) on the same day.
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Old 03-17-2009, 02:41 PM   #28
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Lately I've been watching The Biggest Loser online. I don't get that channel at home... no cable

I haven't weighed in a long time and don't really think it serves any purpose for me so I am going to put my energy this week on getting BACK TO MY WORKOUT!!!! Aaaaauuuurgh!!! I NEED to start working out! I'm a happier person when I am...

Enough of that today.

Hope everyone is doing good!
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Old 03-19-2009, 04:45 PM   #29
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Well the TOM fairy has decided to visit

I SAID I wasn't going to get on the scale but my curiosity got the best of me today...

Still haven't started in on the exercise yet but I've been doing pretty good the last few days on my eating so that's pretty cool.

Sunday I'll be a server at a UNCF 100 Chef's event here in the Bay Area and am looking forward to eating some real good food. I'm not making any decisions either way on not eating carbs. My thoughts are I want to put my best foot forward and stay as low carb as possible.

...And now for the scale news, even with the TOM fairy visiting I am at 207

I guess I was wrong about the scale I'm looking forward to being back under 200, hopefully in the next month.
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Old 03-22-2009, 11:32 PM   #30
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Hey there Girl!

Missed you to pieces. We started this crazy ride together, way back in the day. I know we can get back on together. We are in it to win it this time!

Watch out for those music men, Meek. Bad news. (I'm married to one. )

xo
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