Mandy's 2009 Journey

[PalmTreeGal]

159.8

Glad to see the 150s.

Jaimie, the patients were fine . . . I have yet to have a patient have a bad outcome from a mistake of mine. But every mistake carries that potential and I just don't feel good enough lately. Part of the problem was a surgeon who cared more about getting the surgery done than about the patient's safety (it was a tubal ligation so totally elective) and I let myself get pushed around by him. I really struggle with being firm and not taking bull from surgeons, I have a conciliatory personality and I want everyone to like me. When in reality it doesn't matter if the surgeon likes me, it matters if the patient is safe.

I have had several incidents this week where I did not communicate clearly with the surgeon (not all bad ones just ones where I didn't make sure the information was understood fully) and I think the universe is trying to tell me something. If I want to do this job I have to improve communication skills, including telling surgeons to go to you-know-where.

[Vanessa120]

My mom is a retired labor & delivery nurse and I heard one too many stories of pushy doctors! You shouldn't have to stand up for the proper care of a patient....you'd think that would be a given!

Congrats on the 150's!

[NewYorkGiants32]

150's-Good for you!!

I forgot....are you a nurse or an anesthesiologist??

[Debralynn]

Woo hoo! WTG on the 150's!

You are a good nurse anesthetist, keep up the good fight for your patients! Don't forget what a major impact you have on people lives, and all the good you do.

[Lizbeth927]

Yay!! 150's is fantastic! Great job

[PalmTreeGal]

Yesterday 160.2

Today 158.6

Looks like I might make my goal of 159 on Monday! (there will be a bounceback from that low, I guarantee it.)

Jen, I am neither . . . I am a certified registered nurse anesthetist. Kind of analagous to a nurse practitioner. Basically I put people to sleep and the doc signs off on it and sends the bill.

[Livywilltim-mom]

Yeah Mandy!

The 150s will stick on Monday for you

You are a great gal, keep on working on behalf of your patients!

Love ya

[PalmTreeGal]

158.0

!!!

Tried on some size 10 pants today I was planning to use as marker pants, like try on every week and see them beginning to fit. I didn't think they'd get over my butt much less zip, but they did! So I am finally seeing/feeling skinnier, 23 pounds in. The pants were too tight to wear in polite company but the fact that they zipped was great. I chose another smaller pair to try on weekly - they are some size 8 jeans which can't get past my thighs.


Jaimie, I think you are right about the 150s sticking, woohoo! I am so excited to be seeing some movement after 1.5 months of stagnation!

[Lizbeth927]

I do the same thing with some of my old pairs of pants!! Right now my marker is a pair of size 10 Gap jeans...Still working on getting those to be presentable in public! (Good thing I have the exact same pants in sizes 8 and 6 also, so I can continue to use them as the pounds drop. Maybe someday I'll even fit into my size 4 Express pants that once fit me like a glove!)

Congrats on 158.0!!!

[PalmTreeGal]

158.0

It stuck, yay! Lost 2.2 pounds last week, the most in a long time. Now I only have to lose 1.1 pounds a week for my April goal.

It feels to good to say I only have to lose 30-something pounds instead of 40-something!

Lizbeth, 4 was my smallest size too and I have some really nice clothes in that size! We will get there!

[Vanessa120]

WTG Mandy! I am so happy you are starting to WEAR the changes that the scale reflects! You'll be back in the 4's before you know it!

[speedymagee]

Hi Mandy,

The intro to your journal really caught my eye because I have gained (and lost) a couple times last year too. I am determined not to do that this year though.

Congratulations on making it the 150's and getting into size 10 pants!

[steady]

Originally Posted by PalmTreeGal

Steady, you must feel as lost as I feel in big cities . . . I love them but they freak me out!

Can I ask how old you are? I am 31 and feeling like I need to make a decision on the kid thing. Just not interested and never have been but I am afraid I'll regret it!

Hey PTG:
I do feel lost and freaked out...it is easier for me to navigate the Grid system of NYC vs. than the maze-like roads of Indiana. Luckily they have GPS...so it helps a bit.

I am 33, turning 34 soon...when I was in my single 20's I wanted to have like 1/2 dozen kids, but as I started getting older...I just lost interest in wanting to being a mommy. One reason both DH and I feel this way is due to spending so much time in school and training in our 20's we didn't have enough time just being a married couple w/out children (DINKS). After a while, we both wanted to focus on our careers which were delayed until our 30s. I don't think I will regret not having children, because 1) we think the world is kind of a cruddy, mean, and harsh environment to grow up (I know we are very pessimistic, but both of us have seen so much cruelty and neglect) 2) we are the primary guardian to all of our 9 nephews and nieces should anything happen (we will probably be the ones paying for their college anyway!) and 3) I feel and lean towards the the option of adopting children if I am too "old" to have natural children (why bring another child in this world when so many need help). Again, DH would prefer his own genes (what an ego!, I don't want pass on mine!), but is open to the idea of adoption. I am not interested in IVF or any sort of techy baby ...though I think it is a very good option for others.

My mother tells me I will regret not having children, because there won't be anyone to take care of me when I am older. Really-- not a real good reason to have children. Frankly, I never want to be a burden on anyone--send me to the Nursing Home at the first sign of dementia or Hospice if I am terminally ill...

All in all, right now I have no regret because I see I have options if I change my mind. BTW, if I accidentally become pregnant I (we) will embrace our new path, AND promise the child atleast one sibling. (ie. if we have one we are definitely going to have two!)

If is a very important decision---one DH and I discuss openly and honestly every few months to see if the other is having a change of mind.

With all this rambling, I HTH.

[Livywilltim-mom]

Mandy!

WOW, you are really on a roll my dear! Think of how much all of your hard work is paying off! Congrats on the size 10's...almost into the single digits for pants

Hugs

[PalmTreeGal]

Yesterday 159.0

Today 159.4

[Livywilltim-mom]

Happy Fat Burnin' Friday Mandy

[PalmTreeGal]

157.2

Yay!

[Lizbeth927]

Yay!

I'm stuck for some reason...hoping to see a whoosh soon. You're doing great!

[Vanessa120]

Originally Posted by PalmTreeGal

157.2

Yay!

[Livywilltim-mom]

Happy Monday!

Your loss is great

[PalmTreeGal]

Screwed up today. Big gain tomorrow I'm sure. Tomorrow is a new day.

[PalmTreeGal]

Yesterday 159.0

Today 161.8

I'm sure I don't even have to explain what happened. I'm just getting back on my feet, drinking water like it's going out of style, and getting over myself. Which is the hardest part.

[Lizbeth927]

Originally Posted by PalmTreeGal

Yesterday 159.0

Today 161.8

I'm sure I don't even have to explain what happened. I'm just getting back on my feet, drinking water like it's going out of style, and getting over myself. Which is the hardest part.

Everyone has slip-ups sometimes. Sounds like you're getting right back on track!

[Livywilltim-mom]

Sweet Mandy...

SO WHAT!! You have come very far, and you will drop this weight quickly.

Personally (not that I am a LC role model) when I did well at losing...it was in a zig zag pattern...sometimes very discouraging!

Hugs honey

[NewYorkGiants32]

don't be too hard on yourself, it is just a 2 and a half pound gain, you can lose that in a day!

You're doing great, don't be your own worse critic.

[PalmTreeGal]

Depression monster's got me. Be back as soon as I can.

[Livywilltim-mom]

Sweet Mandy!

I can totally relate to what you are going through. I have been battling that demon lately myself.

Post if you can...and when you can't, know we are thinking of you.

Hugs

[Lizbeth927]

[NewYorkGiants32]

Hang in there!

[Livywilltim-mom]

Sending love and encouragement today.

Wanted you to know that I was thinking of you.

Hugs