Amy B's....Decision Time

[Amyb1569]

A message to myself.

Amy...

Yes life is a tad sucky right now. In some ways if not many it is unfair. But in reality it is what it is. I am not going to say it could be worse cause I have come to HATE that answer. What I will say is....I will never ask why me...I will say why not me. Things happen. People get sick . Some live and some die. I have a chance to get well and that is what I am going to focus on.

I have this thought that came to me in the wee hours of the morning.

I have this illness but it does not mean this illness has to have me.

Today is decision time. Something has to give. My life is so out of control . True many of the issues I can not control. But there are areas I can and NEED to control. Why give this more power then it has already taken?

I weighed 233 and lost down to 136. It was hard and it was long . But it was something I was proud of.

I am now up to 160. In a blink of a eye I am at 160. So does that mean in another blink of a eye I could be at 200? I think so. I can not do that physically or mentally. So Now I ask myself ...what ya going to do about it?

This is a new year. This is my life. This is my decision. I am taking back some control in my life. Illness may have some control...a lot of control..but NOT all the control.

[6-R-bust-2009]

You have a terrific attitude Amy! Hugs!!!!

[LoraJR72]

Happy New Year, Amy!

I hope it brings you happiness and joy!

[Magicsmom]

Amy, I love your outlook and can learn from it. I know all too well about that "blink of an eye" thing. In August before my knees went out on me, I was at 209 and onederland was on the horizon. I thought for sure I'd be there and then some by now. Then my knees went out, my nose swelled shut, and Prednisone happened. Lots of it. And the weight came back on. Oh well, let's put that behind us and work together to see those 30 pounds disappear. In my case, that and more!

God bless you in your journey. We can't walk it for you, but we can walk it with you.

[Amyb1569]

Magic..
Somehow I knew you would get it. I just know I do not want to fight the weight loss battle again. See I guess I think of it like this....I have no choice with the medical battle. My body has proven it has a mind of it's on. But I do have some choice on having to fight the weight loss battle too.

So Magic..we both know for our health we need to get a handle on our wieght..right?
So what are we going to do about it? I say we show something in our lives that we have control..Right?

Ya with me? Cause ya know I need support..and so do you. I think you me and mom could be dangerous..lol

[Amyb1569]

Oh and my outlook sucks somedays. Ask MOM. Yesterday she got a call that I know she wishes she had not picked up..poor MOM she listens always ..and latley that has been too often.

[Amyb1569]

Hey there Lora...
I heard a rumor...did you make Goal? Woo Hoo

[Amyb1569]

Michelle...
Thanks for the support. BTW I want that tummy too..lol

[LoraJR72]

Originally Posted by Amyb1569

Hey there Lora...
I heard a rumor...did you make Goal? Woo Hoo

Something like that...

[Amyb1569]

Well that is a awesome rumor. Wish someone would start one like that about me. You my friend are beautiful. Your last avatar picture looked like a model. I am really excited for you. Can I be next? LOL

[LoraJR72]

Sure you can! You need to wipe the slate clean and start from the beginning. Put KK out of your mind and try again! This time it is all about good health. Your body has been through a tremendous strain.

[Amyb1569]

You are so right...I will not be doing KK at all. I will be doing Atkins with some added veggies that my Dr thinks I need. This time it is about health and emotional balance. I had known of those on the KK plan. It was a race on a hamster wheel..lot's of hard work..over and over. I am tired and have no energy for redo's. Ya know?

[MomToEli]

Hi, Girlfriend! Glad to see you here Yes, I think you, me and Magicsmom make a great trio, and the three of us really CAN do this

I need to make one thing perfectly clear. I NEVER wish I hadn't picked up the phone. Not one.single.time. I know that may seem hard to believe, but I really believe God set our paths to cross when they did for this very reason. Who am I to question His plan?

[Amyb1569]

159.5

Just a reminder to myself. While it is wonderful to see a lower number on the scale and see be able to fit in the smaller clothes. There is a bigger picture for me...My health and wellness.

Sooo....I am thinking if I have it in me to do this? Maybe a better question is....can I afford to not do this. What I mean by that is...I so can not will not do not want to be back where I started. It was a really hard road to get to this weight...well to 136....a road I can not do again. Kimkins is not a option for me ever again. So a modified Atkins will be my way. Plus the real advantage is my blood sugars will be better while doing the steroid treatments.

So now I need to stop talking about it and start doing it...right?

[bekki1]

Hi Amy, you have a great attitude. You will do it. I hope I can be as strong!

[MomToEli]

It will be a whole lot easier, my friend, when and if they ever get your kitchen - well, your whole house! - put back together.

Oh, didn't I tell you? You are right. You are always right. I don't know why I don't just accept that fact. As for me ... not so right.

[Amyb1569]

Oh I know..I always knew..I am right..now we both know. Good.

[MomToEli]

So, now that we have that established ...

Are you going to tell me what you ate today?

I fixed Chicken with gravy tonight. Made mashed potatoes for the boys. I used Oopsies as my potatoes - ate them with gravy on them. They get really mushy. Reminds me of the times I would tear up a piece of bread and put gravy on it to eat. Also had green beans and salad. The chicky was real tender - you sould probably do that. Even cut it up before you cook it. Anyway, I'm full.

Once they get you a kitchen again, that is.

[Amyb1569]

Maybe I need to post my kitchen pics here....you know you wanna see...

[MomToEli]

Yes, I do want to see them.

You watching the football game?

[Amyb1569]

Umm...ROLL TIDE GONE BAD

Yes we are watching some painful football....not looking too good...but still 11 minutes left...

Jimmy is pissy.

[MomToEli]

Men take these things so personally. Brian is sleeping.

[PalmTreeGal]

I know you can do this . . . I struggle with severe depression, which is not the same as physical illness but makes it very hard for me to manage my weight. So I have sympathy. As you say - let's just do it!

[Larcana]

Hi Amyb,
I haven't posted in a while. I have kept up with the facination thread, though. I've also kept up with your family. 2008 has been a heck of a year for you guys...but you're strong.
I've had some regain myself and it has driven me to find a solution for a lifetime of health. That means a whole lot of reading. I found this one analogy that seem to fit.. "maintaining weight loss is like trying to hold a beach ball under water"..can't remember who wrote it or I'd give them credit. The article was in Vogue magazine about 18 years ago.
Anyway, I'm with you on this. Hang tough like you always do.
Lauren

[This time]

Amy....Belive it or not, you are a strong woman!! strong because you rebound from the bad days and that is a survivor and a hero in my book.........Linda

[MomToEli]

Originally Posted by Amyb1569

Umm...ROLL TIDE GONE BAD

Yes we are watching some painful football....not looking too good...but still 11 minutes left...

Jimmy is pissy.

Those 11 minutes weren't such a good thing, eh?

[Amyb1569]

Umm..can you say Grown man having a FIT. Not pretty..

Okay are we sure I should start this LC thing..I mean could this get me a free pass? LOL

My Kitchen

[Amyb1569]

157.0

Okay...Here is what I have been thinking...Monday could be a great start day. Then again when I start on Monday it seems Tuesday is always my fall off wagon day...or sometimes Monday afternoon..

So I am starting now. I worked on it yesterday. I could get really excited about the scale but I am sure it is because my meds made me sick yesterday...all day.

My neck is really swollen today and that makes the swallowing even harder...so I am thinking I may just get a few LC shakes drinks and try to keep those down with my meds and maybe some dreaded eggs..I am so over eggs...

How is everyone else doing today?

[Amyb1569]

Lauren..
How nice to see you. I had not seen you post for a while. You know..maybe one day if you want we can meet up for lunch. I would love for us to get to meet in person.
I hope you had a blessed holiday. Stop by often...I love to hear from you.

[Amyb1569]

Linda..
One of my best cheerleaders..Please keep stopping by...you always bring a smile for me. Your support has helped me more then you will know. I love to see a PM from you ..
How are you doing? I hope you had a blessed holiday.