It my TIME

[lildragonfly]

edited for nuts


Total: 2023 cals
Fat: 141 65%
Carbs: 49 9%
Fiber: 6 0%
Protein: 126 26%


I am relearning my mindset about weight and realizing the scale does not own me. It is not the way I will measure my existence. I will rely more on my body and start this process of understanding in my brain its just a number. I am learning its not what makes me its what I make of it. So my mindset now is I will focus on repairing what years broke. I wont give up. Giving up is not an option. I will take this one day at a time and one step at a time and remember I didnt break it overnight and cant fix it overnight.

[lildragonfly]

April 10, 2008

Today Im kinda tired. Not sure why exactly other than allergies and I had to take allergy med. I am drinking my acv and water and trying to get my blood flowing but I am at work so not to many ways to do that lol. Not bloated today at all, actually feel light and good. Woke up feeling light as well. Pants loose and bra even loose so good things. Finally had bm so maybe that helped lol. Had brought a hot dog for lunch but im nixing it for a snack later and going for a grilled steak salad instead. No coffee today so maybe its why Im tired, may have to make a starbucks run lol.

[lildragonfly]

Total: 1746 cals
Fat: 113 63%
Carbs: 50 8%
Fiber: 18 0%
Protein: 117 29%

Did 28 mins of HIIT on elliptical and Callan abs. Felt tired today but feeling better this evening after working out. Think it was work stress. Going to bed early tonight.

[lildragonfly]

April 11, 2008

Woke up tired again. Not sure what is going on to make me so tired. Anyway, I am bloated this am with tummy cramps. Gotta get my water in today.

[lildragonfly]

Tummy still hurting so didnt eat alot. I drank mylanta alot lol. I will be doing a high carb day tomorrow but will be doing cardio and weights to make sure I dont slack off. Well I guess honestly depends on my tummy lol. I may be on soup and crackers if i feel bad.

[lildragonfly]

Today I woke up hurting extremely bad. My sciatica nerve area was bothering me badly. Had to get to chiro and have him realign me. Then came home and did Callan for the stretch relief of the nerves. Today was my free day on eats just to get my body functioning. I will tell you I have more energy all the sudden. Tomorrow back to low /mod carb.

[lildragonfly]

I am feeling good this evening not sure if was the carbs or what but im full of energy right now. I am planning my meals for tomorrow now and just hoping i have energy tomorrow.

[lildragonfly]

I am feeling ok today. Lot of self doubt going on and thoughts of my body image really bad today. Did callan even though not my callan day. Did evo abs as well. I am struggling in my mind and I have to stop this insane issue of my body image. I have to learn to love me.

[WATCH-ME-SHRINK]

Marsha,

Having been AWOL yesterday, didn't get to chat. I hope you took advantage of the extra energy from the carb up day.

Why are you struggling with negativity today, when yesterday you seemed pumped with energy? Overcome that.

Resilience is key to getting what you want. There are gonna be roadblocks in every endeavor, whether actual, physical, mental -- regardless.....you push yourself to rise above them, and you grow stronger and wiser with each time you do.

Resilience.

Love yourself. You're worth it.

[lildragonfly]

Yes I did use the extra energy for weights and cardio and callan lol. I did them all. Think my hormones are on edge.

I am not giving up on me. I am an experiment in the making. I just gotta let go of the past teachings and re-learn my future ones. Life is all about learning. And I have to let go of false images and people and know that I am worthy of love.

[lildragonfly]

I, Marsha, vow today not to have anymore negative thoughts about myself. This is first goal.

[lisabinil]

You better hide that *^%$%&*) scale too!

[lildragonfly]

Yesterday was a hard day. I had discussion with Lisa and she pointed out to me something. She will not recommend WW to anyone now because of how my mind set became on the whole calorie thing. I have become a calorie phobic. I am working on it day by day. Also being on induction too long made me a carb phobic too. So that too I am working on. The scale is gone now for a long period of time because I had it taken to another place lol. I have to battle these demons one at a time and realize I choose what to make me and I choose to make me healthy no matter what scale may relay. The scale is only one measure and actually not a good one. it only measures how gravity pulls on me, but cant tell how muscles are growing, fat shrinking and how I feel overall. I will remember all carbs are not created equal and that starving is what got me to where I am in terms of not being able to lose like normal.
My hormones are really whacked out right now. And causing some serious mood swings out the ying yang. Good thing at this point that I am not married or poor man would be batty. Especially with my anal tendencies about things and then having these mood swings. I am going to start working out harder to help release my endorphins and hopefully elevate my moods lol. Going to add some boxing to my routine for upper body and stress relief. Plus going to up handweights to higher weight because these puney ones give me no challenge.

As for today I feel really good. I feel tighter and slimmer and jeans fit well. Having slight sciatica pain but Ill deal with it.

Life leads us to paths to give us a trial of how strong we are, and to make us stronger. I will use this to my advantage and make myself even stronger.

[lisabinil]

You go girl!

[lildragonfly]

Total: 1993 cals
Fat: 121 57%
Carbs: 66 11%
Fiber: 14 0%
Protein: 152 32%

Did callan tonight and going to do more ab work before bed.

[lildragonfly]

Feel pretty good this morning. A little tired but not so bad.

[lildragonfly]

Did HIIT on elliptical tonight for 15 mins. Gosh was I sweating. Doing callan abs and evo abs later before bed. Trying to prepare more for tomorrow cause I am not getting enough cals in all day long. So cooking extras tonight for tomorrow. Gotta really up breakfast to get it in I think. I am trying to get up earlier too so maybe i can get a little workout before work at 7. Grasping with both hands to learn this and keep focus.


Total: 2078 cals
Fat: 132 59%
Carbs: 41 7%
Fiber: 6 0%
Protein: 172 34%

[lildragonfly]

Huge lesson learned today. I was in a rush this morning and didnt get to pack lunch and being on budget I didnt go out. I started getting a huge headache so i grabbed a piece of bread from kitchen at work. Wow my headache got worse. So when i got home i made some heroin thighs and ate that and within 20 mins headache gone and the energy came rushing back. Lessons learned.

Total: 2121 cals
Fat: 127 56%
Carbs: 56 10%
Fiber: 5 0%
Protein: 171 34%

[lildragonfly]

Feeling good this am. Ate my protein to up my mood and ready for the day.

[jjcanada]

Hi Marsha!

Thanks for "popping in"!
How are you finding the increased calories?
I am trying to eating minimum 1500 everyday since Sunday. Theres been no change on the scale which is a bit frustrating especially because I came off of high carbs so you'd think there would be a smigen of water loss at least. But I must say- it IS nice eating more and I think it is just a matter of time before my body comes around!

[lildragonfly]

I agree Jolie and thanks for popping in!!. I think the increased cals has made a difference in my moods too. I am trying to eat a minimum of 1800 cals and get all my protein in.

[lildragonfly]

Good day over all. Tried the oopsie waffles and no go lol they stuck and were ugh tasting. So glad tomorrow Friday!! Got a wonderful comment from a client saying how i looked so slim and how id lost so much weight. Those comments so much better than the scale!

[WATCH-ME-SHRINK]

Did you hear???? Popeye is now the spokesperson for protein AND spinach!

(Have a good day! )

[lildragonfly]

Had refeed today and I tell ya Im ready for the low carb way. I felt tired and lethargic and all out of whack. Starting a ketogenic diet where my cals are where they should be and low carb. Already prepared hard boiled eggs, cheese squares, and chicken. God saounds so good lol. Preparing for carb headache tomorrow.

[lildragonfly]

I am learning alot about myself. I have no itched for scale at all and Im ok not weighing all the time now. I am more interested in how my clothes fit. I may never drop another lb but Ill be the hottest , tightest, muscled and toned size 10 you will ever meet lol.

Prepared all my foods for work this week so I wont be off guard.
Hard boiled eggs, hamburgers, chicken thighs, yocheese, cheese

I am all set and ready to come out fighting.

[lildragonfly]

Feeling much better on less carbs. Not tired now. Ready for ketosis.

[lildragonfly]

Back to the way I know to live. YAYAYA!!! Felt good and energized today and felt complete once again eating low carb. Its funny after refeeds how much you enjoy going back on plan. Did my 1 hr callan and feeling great!!

[lildragonfly]

Total: 1799 cals
Fat: 120 63%
Carbs: 34 7%
Fiber: 6 0%
Protein: 128 30%

When it gets hot I have issue eating anything but fruit so this will be challenge.

[lildragonfly]

Total: 1837 cals
Fat: 119 60%
Carbs: 48 9%
Fiber: 9 0%
Protein: 138 31%