A Wedding, and Life After - NiC's Journal

[NicinChicago]

I've been meaning to start this for a while but put it off. I am the world's best procrastinator, which makes me suck at a lot of other things.

I'm finding it so hard to get back into my groove which is unacceptable, because finally finally finally I'm getting married and the last thing I want are pictures from a way overpriced photographer that are horrible b/c I'm a cow in them. And it's not like I get to wear slimming black, I'll be in the worst color for anyone over a size 10. AND my Maid of Honor is 6 feet tall and model-skinny. Not that I hate her for it but it'll just make me look fatter.

Last year, January I started at 235 and by mid-June was down 50lbs. I think during the first few days of August I got down to 178 for about 5 minutes - literally. Well I had a very fun summer/early fall and then got lazy and crept slowly upwards. When you see 192 and think, oh it's just water and I'll be more strict tomorrow, THAT IS DENIAL FOLKS! I denied myself right on up to 210 during Thanksgiving/Christmas. Wonderful. I've been so on/off since the new year it's not even funny. Even when I do find myself being strict I haven't dropped anything. I'm afraid my body is giving up on me If it could just hang in weight loss mode until September I'll be grateful! I really have to order my dress by the beginning of May and I'm scared to death. I need to lose as much as possible between now and then , so that even if I continue to lose the alterations won't be so much that I ruin the dress. I am not brave enough to order it one size smaller.

If I could be 180 by the wedding I would be content. Not thrilled, but satisfied enough not cry for days before the wedding. If I got to 160 I would be thrilled. I don't hold out much hope for getting down more than 50lbs. That's what I did last year in 6 months so I know it's doable......I just have to do it.

Sheesh what is my problem this year?? For crap's sake.

Please feel free to post here. Diet advice, wedding tips, etc. I need all the help I can get in pretty much every department there is. I will try to post daily for my own benefit.


Today I ate:
B - 7 slices of bacon
L - caesar salad w/ chicken from McD's Didn't pack.
D - mix of spring veggies (one of those steamer bags)

[NicinChicago]

My new rule is that I'm only allowed to weigh on Saturdays. I seem to eat late at night and I'm still "heavy" () in the morning. On Saturdays I sleep late so i feel like it'll be more accurate. Um, that's my theory and I'm sticking to it, leave me alone! I went into work late today and weighed one pound less between 8 am and 10 am.

I went to Whole Foods tonight and got some of the stuff you can't find at Jewel - Flax, coconut oil, jicama. Flax used to make me gain but I'm really really really going to limit it to 2 TBS/day. I'm sorry but I have bathroom issues with low carb. Flax seems to help everybody else. I don't think in the past I've given it enough of a chance to work - I see the scale rising and jump ship. Flax in trash! I also read in the ML last night that somebody said - based on a book they read - that 2 stalks of celery a day will keep you from ever being constipated again. So I also bought celery. Worth a shot right? Starting that tomorrow.

I am actually going to pack my lunch for tomorrow!! I'm going to make a batch of taco meat tonight. I need to use the meat anyway. And I'm tired of trying to figure out where to go to lunch each day, believe it or not there are not many choices around my office in the Financial District. Everyday it's either McDonald's ( all I can think about is the poop in the meat. sorry), Corner Bakery (way expensive), Au Bon Pain (I don't really like anything there) and Qdoba (not bad). There is an awesome dive a little further away that roasts whole Perdue chickens and sells them by the half. For less than $5! It's just been too cold lately to walk there and back. I'm a baby.

I was not very awesome today menu-wise:
Brunch: McD's big n' tasty plain, but with the bottom bun
Dinner: 2 crabcakes from Whole Foods, steamer bag of asian vegetables w/ butter.

Thought maybe I'd try oil pulling too - for the whiter teeth/healthier gum benefits. I've also tried to get better about my probiotics/fish oil/and CLA.

Then maybe I can get better about exercise and water? Those are my two hardest things.

Oh and I'm watching Top Chef Chicago - they shopped at the Whole Foods by my house Uh, why couldn't I ever run into Chef Tom while they were here? Hello.

[NicinChicago]

I ate a flax muffin with butter too.

Here are my fitday totals:
Calories 1081
Fat 80 68%
Carbs 40 10%
Fiber 13
27 net carbs
Protein 59 22%

That felt low considering I used coconut oil in the muffin, butter on it and the veggies and olive oil when cooking. I put it all in fitday though, I swear! The totals are actually higher b/c the crabcakes had some breadcrumbs on them but I didn't know how to account for that. It was hardly anything, just enough so they would brown.

Not bad but not great either.

[NicinChicago]

I'm a heffer. <----- He's my favorite smiley guy.

Today I ate:
2 stalks of celery
Chicken caesar salad
Taco meat with pork rinds as "nachos"
1/2 c. soybeans with butter and salt
Flax muffin w/ butter

These are Fitday totals:

Cals - 1890
Fat - 143 70%
Carbs - 35 4%
Fiber - 18 So 17 net carbs
Protein - 119 26%

I have no idea what the ratios are "supposed" to be and I don't even know how much protein is the right amt. I can never get a straight answer.

Still too much soda, vs. water and I did some walking today b/c it was so nice out but hardly exercise. I also tried the oil pulling. I did about 18 minutes with coconut oil. It was not hard at all. It was a little icky when I first put it in my mouth solid. It came out thin but not frothy and yes my mouth feels really clean but I brushed my teeth afterwards - they always feel clean after I brush. I'll keep it up for a while and see if it helps anything. It's also recommended in the morning on an empty stomach but I think that would definitely make me .

I'm really sleepy so that's I have on today. T-G-I-freakin'-F.

[Debralynn]

Hi Nic! So glad to see you here!

We were in a challenge together (Halloween maybe?) I had and injury and a major setback then, so I totally know where you are coming from.

I have no doubt that you are going to reach goal (and beyond!) in time for your wedding. You have done it before, and now you have the extra motivation!

Good luck!

[NicinChicago]

Aww, hi Deb! It's good to "see" you again! Thanks for the encouragement... I know I sound petty but really don't want ugly wedding pictures b/c of the BRIDE!! There are tons more reasons I need to do this, obviously but that is the most pressing right now.

I suck at challenges, sorry I didn't see more of you last fall..... I still need to get back in touch with Bob. I'm embarrassed. I'll probably flake out on my journal too. I just thought it might be good to have menus and fitday #s all in one spot.

Well good luck to you too and don't be a stranger! Thanks for stopping by.

[NicinChicago]

I'm really sleepy today and should've gone to bed 2 hours ago, so I'm just going to post menu and FitDay.

South Beach chocolate crisp bar (had a lot of sugar alcohol)
1/2 chicken (went to my lunch dive, it was pretty outside! )
Leftover taco meat with porkrinds, 1/2 c. edamame w/ butter
3 oz. fage w/ 1 tbs flax and 4 frozen strawberries

Fitday :
Calories 2041
Fat: 109
Carbs: 55
Fiber: 15
Sugar Alcohol: 18

NET CARBS : 22
Protein: 214 - way too high, right?

There should be a yawning smiley guy.

[Debralynn]

One thing is for sure... you will never cause a picture to be ugly! You look so great now, just imagine how you are going to feel when you start melting away!

Take care, purdy girl!

[NicinChicago]

Oh Deb you're too kind. Really. My current avatar is from when my brother visited back in August. I was about 180-185 (i'm sure I was 185 before that weekend was over!). And I would be OK with that for the wedding.

All I did today was walk to the grocery store for some things and sit on my butt in front of the tube. I slept waaaaay late (I love it!) and didn't eat until 4:00. I am so anti-social in the winter/cold time. I just have no desire to put on cute clothes (my personal opinion is that only summertime clothes are cute, with sandals) and be out in the cold! I know it's the middle of March but it's only in the lower 30's tonight. I'm starting to itch to get out though so I hope it warms up soon.

I talked to my future MIL last night for almost a half hour.... I like her well enough and I think some of the things that irk me are DF's fault anyway. I am moving from Chicago back to the east coast, and as a compromise we are going to live in Baltimore b/c I'm a city girl. He is probably going to get a whole new job b/c of it - which he should really do anyway - but is fine with it. I am just really against living in the rural sticks where we're from. He said he will live anywhere that will make me happy (you know, other than Chicago ). Well my lease is up at the end of April but I'm going to stay on, somehow, until the end of July. I'll be back in August to work on the wedding and we get married the first weekend in September. Besides summer is the best time in Chicago! It'll be like a 2 month long bachelorette party . I digress.... so she was saying last night how it's only another month until I'll be home, she's been looking at local county govt./school jobs, and how if I work for the county they'll help us buy our first home. I would be SO unhappy in that situation. Plus she said how she's keeping an eye out for admin. asst. jobs!! Hello! That's not what I do now, or have ever done! It's like b/c I didn't finish college she can't think of anything else I could do. PLUS - most admins require a college degree and a ton of experience anyway! I know she is trying to be helpful and really B needs to tell her what's up. Not really her fault but it still annoys me. I mentioned staying here longer but I didn't want to ruffle any feathers. He can do it! I told my parents!! My mother has advised we live as far from his parents as possible, or they will always want him over to fix something, cut the grass, etc. I'm not against helping your parents but dang. We'll be newlyweds and have our stuff to attend to! Anyway. We're living in Baltimore. It's about an hour drive.

That was long winded. I hope I look back on that in a year, from my brownstone in Baltimore, and laugh.

Today's Menu:
Brunch: 3 scrambled eggs, 3 sausage patties, and 3 flax pancakes w/ SF syrup (this is the same as the flax muffin but I add water to make a thinner batter and then go ahead like regular pancakes)
Dinner: Steamer bag of spring vegetables (carrots, onions, peppers, squash, zucchini, and asparagus).

I also ate some SF candy Tons of Sugar Alcohols.

Fitday:
Fat 152
Calories 1787
Net Carbs 25
(Fiber was 18g)
Protein 51

[NicinChicago]

BTW I'm down .5 lb since last Saturday. Yes. 1/2 pound. What a PITA

[NicinChicago]

I just did fitday for my breakfast and it was 745 calories Is that bad? They say eat breakfast like a king and dinner like a pauper, right? Now if I can only do dinner like a pauper

I'm meeting a friend for dinner so who knows how that will go. It's up to me to pick the place and as usual, I have no idea. We always do this; we call each other, decide to do something and then take 2 hours to iron everything out. I am moving soon though so we're trying to do stuff together! We're actually friends from back home, and he's going to be the best man in my wedding. I will miss him. But at least I have an "excuse" to come back to the city.

So in case anybody reading this is wondering: if, for breakfast, you have 2 scrambled eggs, 5 slices of bacon, and 3 flax pancakes with butter - all cooked in olive oil - it is 745 calories and 69 grams of fat. Sheesh. I remember when I was a little kid and hard core into dance classes, they "educated" us on how to lose weight by eating low fat. Only 20 fat grams per day! I don't know how I did it. I did manage to lose 15lbs in one month though. I was 12. Oh but my breakfast only had 3 carbs and that's what really counts right? Right? Yeah, right, 'cause I'm losing weight like a real maniac.

I'll own up after dinner. I plan on drinking.

[NicinChicago]

Today is just ONE OF THOSE DAYS where I will not be completeing FitDay totals. I'll tell ya what I ate but I'm not even trying to figure out the nutritional value. I'd probably have a heart attack if I knew the truth anyway.

So my friend and I went to this Cajun-style place downtown. I started out with a Peach Margarita - and trust me when I tell you it was 95% tequila. But at $11 it had better be, right?! I got a chicken Caesar salad, which came with soup. I got gumbo. It was literally a cup, if not less. I'm sure it had plenty of flour in it to make it that thick and it was topped with rice. I scraped off as much of that as I could an didn't eat the whole cup either. Then I had the salad, ate the croutons too (less than 1/2 c. worth), and left whatever lettuce was left after there was no more chicken. It was huge. Then I got a second drink. It was Bacardi, oj, and grenadine. Again, I swear it was mostly liquor and just a splash of the other stuff for the sake of color. But anyway..... then P insists on dessert. Of course I didn't have to have any but I was pretty buzzed. He got chocolate peanut butter pie and I helped him eat half of it. I don't even care for peanut butter. I guess I could've done a lot better and I could've done a lot worse too. Good thing I don't weigh until next Saturday!

For anybody reading this I apologize for any typos. I have not had one single drink since my engagement part on 12/29. So 2 very heavy drinks go A LONG WAY with me!!

Whew, hopefully I won't feel too bloated and miserable tomorrow. For bad things we have two drinks, a few grains of rice, some croutons, and chocolate pb pie. Good job, Nicole. Have fun shopping for a wedding dress. I should've made my user name Nic-the-Heffer. More appropriate.

[NicinChicago]

OK so I don't mean to turn the purpose of the journal away from weight loss - and I'm not - but I can SEE that people are viewing so I'm going to throw a poll out there every now and then that's wedding related. I need outside input and I don't want to saturate the playground or ML with my wedding crap. Not for nothin' but there are people that do that and it gets on my nerves. (<--- Hey, I told you he was my favorite guy).

Today's wedding poll goes like this:

Can I (when I say "I" I really mean "we", including the parents and attendants) attend the cocktail hour?

Backstory: We are getting married at 5 and the reception is immediately following, so I anticipate people showing up about 5:45. The cocktail hour is in my parents backyard, by the pool, overlooking the river - think many floating candles, cocktail tables, food, bar, etc.... The tent for the "main event" is in the front yard. I want to take pictures down on the pier by the water so was thinking of arriving by boat, that way no body would see us sneaking across the yard to get down to the dock (how can I sneak in a poofy white dress????) But anyway - can I attend the cocktail hour for about 15 minutes, after pics, and then hide in the house while everyone migrates to the tent and then be ANNOUNCED, like usual? Or is that dumb? I just dont want to miss any of the wedding, but I feel like being announced is kind of a big deal.


Yes?

or

No?

or

Just have parents and bridal party attend cocktail hour while I hide out in the house and spy from the kitchen window?

[NicinChicago]

Alright so nobody wants to be the next contestant on my wedding poll.

I almost skipped today but figured I better put down the basics. For a while now my tv has been acting weird and I figured the picture tube was going bad. It just turned 2 years old in January! I got it when I moved here. Well tonight I turned on the TV and it was completely gone. So I headed back out to Target and they had exactly 2 tv's on their shelves - not counting the display ones. So it was either a 13 inch "regular" tv or a 19 inch flat panel. I got the flat panel I could've bought the wedding invitations with that cash!! It seemed so small at first - I had a 32" regular tv. But now I'm used to it. It looks so tiny on my big tv stand. I have a huge tv carcass laying on my chair. I can barely pick it up, I don't know how I'm going to get it downstairs to the dump. It's so sad b/c I bought it when I first moved in and now everything is dying on me and it's a constant reminder that I have to go soon. My mattress died on me two weeks ago. Why couldn't this crap last 4 more months so I wouldn't have to buy new stuff to TRANSPORT?! The new tv is a good size for our bedroom but now we won't have a "common room" television. I keep forgetting we'll get some cash as wedding gifts and hopefully that can help us out with stuff. This paragraph was really disjointed.

Today I ate:
Lunch - chix caesar salad from corner bakery
dinner - skillet pizza (ground beef w/ tomato sauce, mozzerella, and pepperoni)

Cal - 2100
Fat - 154 68%
Carbs - 22 3%
Fiber - 7
Net Carbs - 15
Protein - 150 29% (geez I gotta get this down)

The pizza skillet was not that great, I wish I'd had the bacon and flax pancakes I was craving. Maybe I'll get up early enough tomorrow morning to make it .... .... yeah right.

[wisnowbird]

I don't know how to vote on your poll!! On one hand, I think....I've never seen the bride or groom at the beginning of the cocktail reception. But then I think....who cares if it's not the norm? It's your one & only wedding, do what makes you happy. I have seen the attendants & parents at cocktail time, though. Sorry, first post in your journal & I'm absolutely no help at all

I'll try to be more of a help in the protein department. Someone once told me that anything over 100g a day isn't good for weight loss. I've noticed when I'm less than 100g, I do tend to lose more. Same for my ratios. If I can make it around 75% fat/5% carbs/20% protein (and keep it under 100g), I do tend to lose more. So if I'm having a lower fat day, I throw some coconut oil or cream cheese in at the end of the day. It is hard some days keeping that protein number down, though

[Debralynn]

I say Go For It! Why not be announced at the Cocktail Hour? I think that would be kind of hip!

Just as long as you aren't taking forever with pictures, and then it puts off having dinner at a normal time for your guests!

My sis is getting married on 4/4, at 5:30 PM. She is having her posed pics done before the wedding at 4, so she can head right to the reception, and then the photog will concentrate on more candid shots!

[NicinChicago]

No Journal, I have not abandoned you. Not completely anyway.

Thanks Snowbird and Deb for the advice, on various things. I think I will end up skipping the cocktail party. That's probably the way the timing will play out anyway, I don't think I'll have much of a choice. I'm going to make sure to have two photographers so I can have plenty of pictures of what went on while I was taking pictures!! Plus my aunt/godmother will be there for it and I have faith that she will see all my plans carried out and everything goes well. They better save me some crab balls though!!

I also managed to get my protein under 100 g for the past few days. I'm up 2 lbs this week. I'm thoroughly irritated I'm going to start modifying everything, except for fat intake. I also might have to cut out soda all together I must exercise at least 4 times a week. MUST. And I'm giving myself a 40 day challenge - from tomorrow thru May 1 I'd like to see 25 lbs gone. Or you know what, I now hate the scale - I just want to see 3 inches gone off my waist and hips. I have no idea how that correlates with pounds but that's what I really want. I hate exercise

[Cutelilsunflower]

Hi pretty mama

Stop beating yourself up

I say go ahead and be announced during cocktails! I *think* that's what we're doing, too. It's in a totally seperate (attached) room to the ballroom, so I think we are going to be announced close to the middle of cocktails and then do our receiving line before we enter the ballroom.

xoxo

[NicinChicago]

Hi Bree! I really like the idea of being announced during the middle of cocktail hour and then doing a receiving line into the tent (dinner). That just might work. I was really dreading cutting my own eating time short so I could walk around to all the tables.... imagine that, me not wanting to cut down on eating time.

Gosh I don't think I've been here in a week.... I knew if I gave myself enough time I could eventually ignore myself

So the 40 day thing started the day AFTER Easter b/c I was a total heffer that day. On purpose. So forty days goes up to May 2. On Wednesday I went RAW. Well, kinda. I've been eating raw most of the day and then at dinner I've been having meat (chicken or fish) and steamed vegetables. But still, that is waaaay less meat than usual and waaaaay more vegetables than I used to eat and I can feel it. I've lost 3 of the 4 lbs I gained from gorging on Easter. I think the scale is broken, I don't think I weight that much - again. I'm so delusional.

I've decided - since I desperately wanted flax pancakes - that Saturdays are LC but not necessarily raw, even though I'll still try to eat a lot of fruit and vegetables. My pancakes were delish.

On Wednesday I walked down 13 flights of stairs in my office building. The elevators are painfully slow and I got tired of waiting. Easy, right? yeah it was easy but the next day - and now, still - my calf muscles are killing me. It's ridiculous.I walked down again yesterday just b/c I thought it was silly to be sore so I'm going to keep doing it until it doesn't make me sore. It's not hard and takes just a smidge longer than waiting for the elevator.

I'm making another part of my 40 day challenge that I have to report in here to myself every day. Yeah we'll see.

[Debralynn]

WTG on the eating and the stairs!

Not only are you going to be a tiny bride, but you'll also have a tight butt and legs!

I like the cocktail announcement, dinner tent receiving line idea. Go for it!

[NicinChicago]

Thanks, Deb, I don't know about "tiny" but I don't mind you putting that out in the universe for me!

I woke up really late and have been riding the couch all day, even though I have errands But it's so yucky out I had no desire to venture out in it. Maybe tomorrow after work... I'm not far from needing toilet paper and trash bags so it's necessary, rain or no!


I feel like I've been grazing all day. It's probably really not that much but I've only been awake for 6 hours. I am craving meat, saving it for dinner as usual. Yesterday I did better than I thought, the only meat I had was a few slices of pepperoni on my cauliflower pizza. I made too much cauliflower so I made several little crusts but of course ate them all. It's so good. But I was down a lb this morning so now I've gotten rid of everything I gained from Easter and am back where I started at the beginning of the month. Yay. All month I've lost nothing. Well, we'll see what Tuesday says but even if it's a couple lbs I totally wasted the month! Geez.

Yesterday's menu:
Flax pancakes w/ butter and sf syrup
Large raw salad of lettuce mix, cucumber, broccoli and cauliflower
Cauliflower pizza (lots of cheese) with pepperoni
1/4 cantaloupe

Fitday:
Cal 1860
Fat 129
Carbs 80
Fiber 23
Net Carbs 57
Protein 108 (all that cheese!)

Today's menu:
Flax pancakes, butter/syrup
Raw salad and fruit/yogurt smoothie
Dinner will probably be tuna salad... I'll update

Fitday so far:
Cal 802
Fat 56
Carbs 68
Fiber 14
Net C. 54
Protein 19

I'll post a final for today later.