Heather Shrinks in Houston!

[Houston Heather]

I am cycling into depression. I should be OK if I hang on tight, take my pills, and get in my workouts.

I had a great weight workout today: It was Bench Press day. I did chest flys, 3 sets. Then I supersetted bench presses with a barbell with lateral pulldowns on my machine. I went from one move straight into the other without a break. It works the chest and the back fast and really keeps up the intensity without making me feel as dead as "Squat day" or the dreaded "Deadlift day".

Tomorrow morning is run day. I may also do some time on the exercise bike if I need it (depression).

[Snowman]

HEATHER ~ Just stopping by to say keep up the good work!!

I haven't been to the gym since Sun., plan to go tomorrow after work sometime.

[Houston Heather]

Go Snowman! I am nuts, I love the stair climber thing. I start it on a really low setting and work my way up as I dare, making sure I know the location of the big red STOP button.

Today was an awesome day. I woke up weighing 196. I lost 5 pounds overnight! My body does this, nothing, nothing, nothing and then WHAM a good sized whoosh. As far as I can tell, it came off the belly flab, which is 1.5 inches smaller than the last time I measured.

You will note: as soon as I cut out the whey and heavy whipping cream I lost the weight. When I go to Walmart today I will NOT be buying more.

I will be getting my hair cut short. I don't think it's flattering now, it's itchy, I'm always washing and washing...I'd rather just jump in and out of the shower.

[Houston Heather]

I ate a couple of bunless burgers today at Walmart.

I also had my hair cut short, about the length it is here:

In fact, I took my marathon photos to give her an idea of the length I wanted.

[Houston Heather]

A stray kitten has moved in next door. She is precious and I would love to adopt her. I doubt the homeowners would want her.

We'll see. She is precious, all black with green eyes just like my cat Bubba. It's a good thing I know he's fixed or I'd think he's the father! They look fantastic together.

Everyone's favorite accessories... a set of matched black cats, with a white one thrown in for contrast.

I'm not eager to adopt but I won't let her starve, either.

Oh, I had a good workout on the exercise bike, even though I find it boring.

[Snowman]

196!!!!! GO HEATHER!!!!!

AWESOME!!!!

YOU did get your hair cut short!!! It looks nice in the picture you posted, so I'm sure it looks good now too! I've always had rather long hair and got it cut short (almost as short as your marathon picture) about 2 years ago and like it shorter now. Even DH who always liked it long, likes it!!

I must confess, I didn't get to the gym today and won't make any promises for tomorrow either. DH & I might go to the mall after work. We work at the same place and ride together. DH will leave after a short time and DD is going to meet me and we will do some shopping. $$$$$

DD loves the stair climber thing, NOT ME!! LOL We have a treadmill at home and I hate the darn thing, but LOVE the one at the gym. It's a much better model, maybe that's why??

TAKE CARE and keep up the good job!!

[Houston Heather]

I took today off of working out.

We adopted the kitten, lots of excitement and getting to sleep late. She is currently curled up with Daddy sleeping.

I had the other 2 cats in my bed. Lots of work, then errands, then we went home. Took my nap, gotta go to bed in a few hours, and up at 3 AM tomorrow. I won't be able to run but I plan to make it squat day.

I ate pretty clean all day except for a small atkins bar with my noon dose of lithium. I'm supposed to take it with food but I forgot to put it in my pill case. By the time I got home it had been over an hour since I ate. I hate feeling queasy so I took the chance of eating a small atkins bar. I didn't get sick so I'm calling it a good call.

I have to go put all my food into fitday and pack some kind of eats for tomorrow. It will also be a "long" day for me, then bank, then mall (more, smaller tshirts!), and Walmart last.

I find it funny that I bought kitten food today. The kitten loves the grown up food, while the adults love the kitten food.

Oh, I gotta cook up my cube steaks tonight. Good thing I remembered.

[pennylovesdarren]

Bravo Heather! 196! WooHoo! You are getting so close to goal!

[Houston Heather]

Why did I only get 5 hours sleep last night?

Well, we have 3 rules with our cats: 1. Use the toilet, not the house. 2. Don't bother the other cats 3. Don't bite the humans. My cat Frosty was totally freaked out by the kitten. I prayed about it and asked God to show us if we were meant to keep her.

Within 2 hours (in the middle of the night), she urinated 5 times (my bed, on my husband, on the floor, on the floor again, and on the couch). She also broke rules 2 and 3.

I am an adult cat lover. I will not live in a toilet, I refuse. I had litterboxes EVERYWHERE in the house. I was pissed. DH was pissed, and so were my other 2 cats.

Someone dumped her because they were too cowardly to take her to the pound. We put her in a box, under the tree out back, with food and water. We called the pound to come pick her up. I tried to find her another home but no takers. I think she is too little anyway. It's a shame, she's adorable when she isn't urinating on us, but no thanks. I'm a Christian, if she doesn't get adopted than her passing will be quick and painless, unlike the life of an unspayed female stray. I've met a few of them in my day - tragedies.

God did a pretty good job of answering that one! I did go up a pound or two but I wasn't drinking my water. After I finish washing all the cat urine out of the bedding, pillows, and clothes, I will do squat day - or night.

I am working on eating clean (very well so far) and drinking my water. This morning I had way too many diet sodas so I don't expect much. I had a good nap this afternoon, thank God.

I had to get up at 3 AM to go get our junk food. Our delivery driver quit so our delivery was 3 hours late. Not good. At the last moment, a light tube fell out of a vending machine and shattered on the floor. I got to clean it up - because it was my fault. I did take the money out of the machines and count it. We went to the bank next, where I got paid 2 days early!

After the bank we walked to the mall. DH hates walking. *****, *****, *****. Hey, the way I look at it he can walk, he should be happy about that. We don't need to use the bedpan anymore and every day since we got rid of the bedpan is a good day.

When we got to the mall I was kind of hungry, but I really wanted to get some new t-shirts too. I looked at Footlocker. I don't mind wearing a man's t-shirt if I can't find a cute one in the women's. Nothing in my new, smaller size.

I went to Lady Footlocker. Cute polo tops! Turquoise, magenta! I got one of each. I also got one in an old-rose color. $25. Just for fun, I looked at the regular tshirts. They had lots in a LADIES L! I got 4 of them.

I still can't believe it, just like I can't believe I'm putting on size 7 underwear everyday. I went into the dressing room. They fit very well, nicely tailored and actually showing off my waist.

It was the best $48.69 I've spent in a long time. I got 7 tops total.

I went to Walmart and I didn't get any frankenfoods. No atkins bars or protein shakes. I just got salad mix, 1 carb salad dressing, a package of cube steaks (the only one who loves them more than I do is the cat - I always cut him a few bites and give them to him on his own plate. Yes, he's spoiled), and a couple packages of cream cheese.

I want to do a challenge test for myself and see if peanut butter - straight peanut butter, gives me migraines. The only way to do that is to eat some the day before a day off. If it gets me sick, I don't eat any more peanut butter. If it doesn't I'll know it really IS wheat that's the trigger, not PB. I bought a jar of the crunchy kind. I think I'll be fine. Every migraine I can recall involved WHEAT or CORN.

I was very pleased with myself because I told myself to only spend $50 at Walmart and that's exactly what I did.

Once I wash all the urine out of my stuff, I plan to wash all my nice new stuff and hang it up tonight. Somewhere in there, I will be doing squats in my new, safe garage.

Oh, yeah, and tomorrow morning I go for a run. I love my short hair for working out. It's so easy to wash!

[Houston Heather]

All done with the squats! I had a big jump in my strength - I can use the Olympic Barbell now. I could have even added 5 pounds to it.

6 sets of squats, to failure, 5 sets with a 40 pound barbell. The first set was too easy so I got the Olympic bar out of the corner of the garage.

Last time I only did 3 sets with 30 pounds.

[Heather struts around, flexing her muscles which are hidden under the fat right now but not for long]. Now I get to eat a delicious cube steak dinner and share it with the cat. I'm hungry so I'm eating BOTH the cooked cube steaks. With butter!

[Houston Heather]

Well, I've washed most of the kitten pee out of my clothes. The big cats are happy she's gone.

I went to bed late last night. Something in me said "I don't want to go to bed early before a day off!" When the time-to-go-run-Heather alarm went off at 5:40, I turned it off and went back to sleep.

I had a strange dream and woke up again - which meant that I'd gotten my sleep for the night. It was 6:20 AM. The sun was coming up and the birds were singing. I thought to myself "I can work out on the exercise bike later" but I hate it and find it incredibly boring. "I can go run" - even though it's a little later than I like. I got up, got dressed, weighed myself (still in the 190's!), drank some water, and ran.

I had the park to myself except for one lady who walked very very slowly and took shortcuts on the track. I wondered to myself if she was getting any benefit at all from her "exercise". Like I told DH, I am a mess when I work out. I get flushed, my face and hair are sweaty, I breathe loudly, it's not flattering at all.

These women (I've seen more than 1) walk like they are = no they AMBLE. They walk very slowly, not even breathing hard....I want to get them in some decent running shoes and start a weight-training program. But these women are very "old school" and it's probably a very big deal for them to go take a slow walk in the park.

I'm not mocking them, I'm not deriding them... I just wish I could help them get some bang out of their workouts. But based on the looks I get I don't think they want my help! Here comes Heather, gasping for breath, dripping with sweat, face red and sweaty....all 196 pounds of her thundering up the track! I'd be a little leery of me too!

So, I thought I might have lost some training because I hadn't run - just that boring exercise bike. Plus running around at work...etc. I ran farther than I had before. Next question, did I want to run for 20 minutes, 25, or 30? I was doing 30 in Galveston last week with no ill effects. I was still going strong at 20 and 25 minutes so I went for 30. I did 6 "laps". One problem, I am faster now. I can do a lap in about 4:30 instead of 5 minutes. I ran back and forth along the last leg for the remaining couple minutes.

I really enjoy my runs - today I watched the cattle in the field next to the park. The park is separated by a bayou from the cattle. I watched them walking back and forth, mooing, and eating. I told them that when I eat them, I respect the meat. They just stared at me with big dumb beef eyes. It was nicely distracting and kept my focus off "Oh God! It's 90% humidity!"

I have been craving lemonade big time. I got some mix (the sugarfree kind with aspartame) and a pitcher. I'll drink it and if I gain or get weird symptoms or something I'll stop. I drank almost a quart this morning after my run. It's just so tart! I love it!

I noticed I'm getting a little stiff right now. I'm glad I'll be taking tomorrow off for workouts (I may do some arm/shoulder weights but nothing major). Gee, squatting and then running for half an hour the next day makes me stiff? Huh.

[Houston Heather]

I was at a health food store today and bought some Apple Cider Vinegar. It was very mild tasting compared to my lemonade. I think my body needs the acidity. It was only $3.50 even with the markup so I figure it can't hurt to try some.

I have heard all the reasons but the biggest one, to me, was Judy. Judy was a 40-something employee in our deli. She was thin and had a nice figure - almost every man would have loved to date her. She ate well, enjoying a candy bar every night, but never really gained any weight. She attributed it to the apple cider vinegar.

It can't hurt. I'm going to drink 1 T in water, before I eat breakfast and dinner. I can't lug vinegar around in my bag even if I wanted to, that's just wierd, so no lunchtime dose.

I still plan to eat my usual clean diet but if I can lick some allergies, prevent joint inflammation (important when powerlifting), and melt some extra fat I'll do it.

It's only $3.50.

[Houston Heather]

Today was a crazy-making day. Up at 5 AM, go to work for a couple hours. We are the only vendors to go in on the weekend, we like to give extra mile service.

We were out of Snickers. That is bad. We were also out of Reese's and other candy bars. That's even worse. Ron had planned a trip, in the afternoon, to Sam's club to buy candy bars.

After work, we went to the Starbucks located near the sporting goods store. I walked over to the sporting goods store and bought myself a heart rate watch. I had to fiddle with my budget, but I got it anyway. I really wanted one, I loved my old monitor until it died. It was $45. I was hoping to get a barbell, the kind you assemble. They are easy for me to transport. No luck - I have to get one at Walmart. I saw them at Walmart.

I also went to the health food store, and got a low carb bar. Why? Because I was not motivated to make myself a lunch today. Not good. The next time I pee I'll use a strip and see if I'm burning fat. I looked around at other things but nothing caught my eye.

I went back to Ron and we went home. Our next ride arrived and took us to Sam's club. By this time, I haven't eaten any real food in hours. I'm not hungry but I'm sure my brain was lacking vital fats. I was very irritable, paranoid, and hostile-feeling. I hadn't had my nap, either, but it was more important to get the candy (you can't run out of snickers!) and be a good businessman than it was to get a nap.

Besides, I have to go to bed in an hour or two anyway. So, I'm feeling very grumpy. I even took an extra pill - the risperdal. I can't say it helped much but I can skip tonight's dose, I already got it.

When I got home, I felt horrible, very angry (DH swears it didn't show). He went to listen to music, I went out in the garage.

I did "Bench Press Day" - warmed up with chest flys, then I did bench presses supersetted with laterall pulldowns. 4 sets each. By the time I was done, I felt human again, warm, cuddly, and relaxed.

That's why I want another barbell tomorrow. Oh, the wasps are back. I need to seal the cracks in the side of the garage door somehow. We decided to leave each other alone.

Tomorrow shouldn't be bad - just work and Walmart later on (I need a prescription).

Off I go to eat something and take a bath. Have a good one!

[Houston Heather]

Today was rather difficult. I will keep the whining and self-pity to a minimum.

The neighbors had a party last night and some kids were kicking a soccer ball into my bedroom wall right about bedtime. I had to go talk to them in my nightgown and bathrobe. The kids behaved, but the party took a while to wind down, cutting into about an hour of sleep time. I wasn't able to get a nap yesterday, either.

The day before that, Ron woke me up an hour early because the cat brought home a baby bird, setting a pattern of sleep deprivation into motion.

I do very poorly when sleep deprived. It's part of my disabilities.

Anyway, this morning, up and at 'em at the crack of 4:30. Got to go get the sandwiches. We go to work and I lug all my candy bars. I am a very good sport about carrying them around. When we get into work I go straight to stocking them, making a little joke about aren't I glad I had a good breakfast so I won't be tempted. I stock and stock.

Ron comes out and starts yelling at me in front of the customers. The stockroom is a mess! How could I? He would fire me! I'm a terrible employee! He wishes he could fire me... etc. I kindly ask him if we can take it inside. He says he ought to continue reading me the public riot act to "teach me a lesson". Oh. Boy.

I finally get him in the stockroom. It looks the same as when I left it. What's the matter? He thinks I'm being a smart ass and yells some more. I tell him, find one thing you object to and show it to me. I honestly don't see a problem anywhere.

He has to look around for a minute or two (!) before he finds something. A plastic soda ring on the floor that holds a 6-pack. That fell out of a box while I was putting it in the dumpster. I'm sorry. I had him go through a couple various items and said, OK, now I get it. That won't happen again.

He got ballistic again, he's wishes he could fire me, terrible employee... etc. I tried to explain. I honestly don't know what you want unless you tell me. If you tell me, nothing on the floor, I get that. Your boss has been in here several times when it looked just like this and never said a word. I didn't know there was a problem.

"No one's that stupid, Heather." Then I had the horrible task of explaining that yes I am. This makes me look a lot worse than just being "lazy and messy" so WHY in God's name would I try to tell him I'm so brain damaged I don't know what you want out of a stockroom unless you tell me and remind me periodically? Who wants to be that broken? Not me! I managed to get it through his head and ran him out of there so I could cry privately. I don't like to let him know he gets to me with those hateful comments.

Later on, he did come back and apologize. I think someone else made him do it, someone who witnessed him yelling at me. I forgave him and everything was OK for a while. I did all my work, we left on time, and we went to the mall.

I needed a new call phone. My old one died. We got it for $40. I already knew the model I wanted so it was easy to flip the phones. It's very nice and I like it a lot.

I needed more antidepressants - I could say something but won't - so we went to Walmart. I only had 45 minutes to shop. I was done in 30.

Ron bought me a barbell ($20), and I got him the jalapeno smokehouse almonds he wanted, and my pills. On the way home, he got a hysterical call from a Postal Worker.

It seems one of our snack machines is giving away free product if you punch the numbers in. Everyone is too stupid, apparently, to unplug it. How hard is it to pull on the cord that leads to the machine?

Ron tried to get a ride - I told him "By the time we get there, most of the product will be gone anyway, so don't rush." I also asked him why we were going there. To unplug it, he said. "But if it's empty what's the point?" He got angry and accused me of being lazy and selfish. I attempted to tell him I'd go IF he could promise me a return trip in the daytime - it's a horrible neighborhood, especially at night. I thought it was very reasonable but he shouted me down yelling about me being selfish and ungrateful. I asked him if he even cared about what I had to say. No, he didn't care what I said or thought. He doesn't want me! He wouldn't pick me but God stuck us together... etc. Then he stomped off.

He tried to get his own ride but it didn't work out. I went to sleep. We have maybe $150 worth of product in the machine. A round-trip cab ride would cost at least $60. His freind agreed to "stick a napkin" into the bill acceptor which is a sign amongst the postal workers that "This machine will rip you off" but I seriously doubt that's going to stop anyone. I am certain that "free food" is going to overwhelm everyone's good judgement and they will steal from us.

Oh, well, they gotta answer to God. I ate very well today, but how do you put "The insides of a calzone" into fitday? I didn't try. I did put my activity.

Later on I'm going to cook up a value pack of cube steaks. I love cube steak. I hope tomorrow is better.

I am getting up early and working out. Weights? Running? Or both? I am intrigued by "both".

[Houston Heather]

Well, I set the alarm wrong - I had to choose so I did deadlifts in the garage. Now I have to shower and get ready for work.

[Houston Heather]

Well, when DH woke me up this morning he was apologetic. "You are good to me and I need to be good to you." Thank you.

I played around with an online free training site. I am not impressed with the workout they gave me. I am a powerlifter, I love it. I want to continue.

What are my goals? I sat down and thought about them.

Today, for instance, at work. We needed to bring home a case (18 pounds) of Dr Pepper for the drivers. We like to offer our drivers a cold drink in the summer - and Dr P is the number one requested drink. Anyway, we didn't have the proper cart so I had to hand-carry it outside. It's 18 pounds. It's no big deal. I didn't even start breathing hard until I went out in the hell that is Houston at 11 AM. Picking up the case and setting it down? No big deal. Awesome. That, basically is my goal. My husband is so messed up it makes me value my own body even more. He will never again pick up a recliner and bring it up a flight of stairs (he put it on his head! ). If we need furniture moved, it's Heather or a professional. He fell on the floor a few times during the first year after the accident, but I could squat down and get him up with no trouble. I love that feeling. I hope he never falls again but I don't want to dread it because I know I'm too out of shape to help him. We've had the same experience recently when his back went out, I picked up and moved heavy case after heavy case without even breathing hard. Good.

I want to be strong and capable. Think Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2, or Mila Jonavich in Resident Evil. They could handle anything - killer robots from the future to ravenous zombies. Good role models.

I want to burn fat. Goal #2. Muscle burns fat better than cardio. I have done hours and hours of cardio per week with minimal fat loss. I plan to do 30-45 minutes of cardio, 3 times a week. Maybe even 25 minutes of cardio 4 times, or mix the two. No more than an hour and half to 2 hours cardio, total.

How much to I want to lift, then? I'm still working on that. I like doing my powerlifting workouts, and I'd like to do them 4 times a week. They run on average 30 minutes. I want to do 2 bench press/upper back days, and one day each on squats and deadlifts. 2 hours powerlifting, then.

Other weights, not powerlifting? How about half an hour? Let's see what I've got.

Run and bench press: 2 days a week.

Squat and bike (I liked the combo): 1 day a week

Deadlift: 1 day.

That's only 4 days. I could add my "other" weights to deadlift day, or do it separately. I could add in another day of running, and still have 2 days off.

I like my plan.

[Houston Heather]

Well, the most annoying thing that happened today was my fault entirely. Today was run and bench press day.

I set the alarm for 5:30, but kept "snoozing" it until 6. THEN I got up and did everything. I started my run in the park at 6:36. I like to run a half hour, I don't plan to go any longer unless I'm training for something. I am converting to the belief that cardio is a lot better for your health than it is for fat loss. If you want fat loss, lift weights.

I'm running about 20-30 minutes later than I would have liked. Sure enough, at 7 AM here comes the guy with the overweight dog on the "freedom" leash. The kind of leash that lets the dog run up to 20 feet from "master" while still remaining technically leashed. The dog and the owner are both sloppy looking and the dog is way overweight. It's obvious that "discipline" is not a word often heard in that house.

I approach from behind, running. I stop and ask the guy nicely could he move the dog off the sidewalk. Why? Because I'd like to run by and I'm concerned the dog may bite me. The guy starts to speak, and we all know what he's going to say "My Dog would never bite!". I interrupt him and say "I've been bitten by dogs that don't bite, could you please move him?" Note - I fibbed, I have never been bitten by a dog. I have been chased by many dogs while running outside, though, and feared a bite.

The guy moves the dog. As soon as I run by the dog LUNGES at me. The guy has to grab the collar and he's dragged a few feet. "THAT's why I asked you to move him." I said. Then "No" as the dog lunges at me again. Nice dog! Nice owner! I come back around on the loop and they're headed for me. The guy is using his dog to play "chicken" - he's not moving. I have a good run on and I just say, hell with it, and go off the path WAAAY away from the dog. As soon as I do it the guy gets off the path in the other direction.

While aggravating, it's easy to prevent. If I'm done with my run before 7, I won't see either of them. I won't see that woman either. She had a real attitude and looked like an idiot with her 1 pound hand weights. She was walking - not fast, not slow. About how I walk in the grocery store if I have plenty of time, but it was obvious from her facial expression and body language that she saw herself as an IMPORTANT person. I had to ask her to move to the side repeatedly ("Excuse me!"), then she kind of huffed at me. Sorry I don't weigh 40 pounds so I can run on one side while you're in the middle.

My fat ladies are not walking - at least not today. It's sad to think they probably didn't see any results (because they were walking so slow) and not challenging themselves. So they gave up.

Obviously, I do a lot better working out alone. I like it. So, get up earlier.

I came home. Now it was time for bench press day. I had to seal some cracks in the garage door where it didn't meet the frame, then I set off another bug bomb. It still had a chemical odor this morning. Ron helped me with some fans pointing into the garage and after 20 minutes it smelled fine. I changed out the towel I keep on my weight bench, and good to go.

Today I decided to play with the superset and turn it into a triset, and also add some incline chest work. I want the top part of my chest (say collarbone to top of breasts) to be firm and pleasant, not thin and bony. I did that first, 3 sets of incline chest flys, 3 sets of incline bench presses. I could only do 20 pounds. The big barbells weigh double that without anything on them.

Once that was done I did my trisets. I am trying to do 4 of each exercise I do but I was short on time and only did 3 sets each:
Bench press (flat)
Lateral pulldown
Bent-over Barbell row

My chest and back were both well-worked, and my shoulders and arms too. I feel very mildly and pleasantly sore. Some of it is yesterday's deadlifts, some the run, and some today's weights.

Then we went to Walmart. I found a $1 jump rope that is only 7 feet long. The standard jump ropes are too long for me, and I'd like to try working out with one again. It's a nice option to the other cardio. It will also help with my coordination, which isn't the best.

I got good legal food, and a muscle magazine designed for men. I looked at one "For women!" and it was insulting. If I want to see a photo of a woman doing a squat, at least put some weight on the 10-pound barbell! I am not asking for her to be squatting with 200 pounds, but at least, for God's sake, have her squat with 20 or 30! Rant over.

I would rather look at a bunch of 'roided up dudes grunting away under hundreds of pounds of metal than some bimbo with breast implants playing with 10 pounds. My HUSBAND THE STROKE VICTIM could squat with 10 pounds. EEEsh. Thank you for letting me vent. And the magazine has lots of useful info, well worth the $5 I spent. I plan to cut out various images of guys working out and flexing - mount them on some posterboard, and put it in my garage. I can envision them cheering me on while I lift.

So that's it for now! Have a good one!

[Houston Heather]

I had a great chat with "the weightlifting guy" at work. He was impressed and intimidated by my routine. He mentioned I should look into a training partner. Hm.

I only worked 2.5 hours today, and Ron took us (a freind came along) out to lunch. Then we ran a couple of errands, came home, and I got my nap.

So why am I so horribly depressed? Ugh. It was an AWFUL day. When I wasn't goofy and thick-brained from medication, I was incredibly depressed. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. I am so glad I never had kids, I'd hate to put anyone through this.

I was seriously craving whipped cream. Now, whipped cream is about the highest-carb thing I allow myself at all. I've heard the rumors that low-carb and depression don't mix, and that serotonin levels rise when carbs are consumed. I'll say this, after I ate some whipped cream I did feel dramatically better.

THIS IS NOT a license to binge, but when I get hungry, if it sounds good, I'll eat it today. I only bought 8 ounces, and a small can. Hopefully I'll be fine tomorrow. I should only have another week or so in this cycle. I generally get two weeks each of depression and mania. UGH.

I'm watching thunder and lightning outside, but it's a dry storm. Not a drop of rain. I enjoy both kinds, the wet and the dry thunderstorms. The cats don't like it much. Ron's asleep, his afternoon nap.

If he didn't sleep afternoons it would be a lot harder for me, I'd feel like I never got a break from him. Thankfully, God set it up this way.

Ron gave me tomorrow off, so I'm going to wake up EARLY and run, then do bench press day in the garage, eat, shower, and WALMART! I am considering those stretchy bands for stretching exercises after a workout - maybe. I'm still thinking. The rest of the day off, go in to work Saturday.

Hopefully by then this little "brainstorm" will have passed.

[Houston Heather]

It was still pretty bad after my dinner & nighttime pills so I went out in the garage and did some shoulder weights. I had considered adding them to my routine anyway.

It does help. Hopefully I'll sleep better, too.

[Snowman]

Heather ~ I don't like that your feeling depressed.

I think you are doing such a fantastic job trying to keep everything under control!! My hat is off to YOU!!

I've been going to the gym. YOU INSPIRE ME TO GO, really YOU DO!!

TAKE CARE!!

[Houston Heather]

Yay!

Don't be afraid of the free weights. I will post some good book titles you can get to help you in your workouts.

Even though the cat meowed at me all night I'm up and at 'em. Time to go run, if I leave now I'll miss the crowd and the ill-mannered dog.

[Houston Heather]

Well, I had a great half-hour run in the park. At the very end of my run, a large truck pulled up and let out an older lady. She was a little freaked out when I passed her (I said "Excuse me, coming up behind you.") Am I that scary?

On my way home, I saw something great. A very heavy woman, jogging down the street. As she came towards me, I told her "Way to go!" and told her to keep it up, I'd already lost 31 pounds. "Really?" She was thrilled and picked up the pace as she ran off.

After I got home, I weighed myself to see if I needed water. According to the scale I didn't need any water but I drank some anyway.

I headed off to the "gym" (garage) for my weight workout. I set it up with some tunes and had Ron check outside to see if it was at an obnoxious level (could anyone hear it?). He said all he could hear was traffic.

I had a great workout, lifting to the disco. Today was bench press day. I did some incline work (chest flys and chest presses) before I did the trisets. Every book I have read by a serious bodybuilder talks about doing 4 sets of each exercise. I've decided to give it a try. I did this 4 times: Bench press w/ barbell - Lateral pulldown - Barbell Row (you gotta be careful on that one or you can screw your back 8 ways to Sunday). Whew, after that was done, I was exhausted and happy!

I came in and took my shower. Since today I worked out for over 1 hour 20 minutes total, I decided to have 1 serving of the lowest carb whey I've got. I'm not hungry but I'm going to need to eat when I get to Walmart and take my ...

I decided to eat a PB granola low carb bar and take my pills now. Why? Because I want it and I'm sure my metabolism can handle it right now. I need to get my pills onboard, too. I am also inclined to eat a few more (like 10 carbs) carbs when I am running seriously depressed.

Snowman, I've had this illness my whole life. It's better controlled now than it ever used to be. These depressions, while not fun at all, are a lot "better" than the depressions I used to endure - I didn't even have the energy to take a shower! I had to force myself into the shower like I'd force myself to run 20 miles. UGH. This is so much better, I can't say that enough. I can also eat intelligently instead of battling nausea and binging on carbs. I also have a great doctor I can call. He respects my judgement and says I know my own mind/body better than he ever could. He values my input and couldn't be any better. He would be happy to tweak my medication if he saw a need to do so.

I have a good life, but it isn't easy.

[seb]

Heather, I hope you don't mind me popping into your journal, but I was just reading the last page here, and just had to say hi. I am so impressed with your determination to exercise and eat right through some difficult circumstances. I am a Christian also, and pray that the Lord will get you through this depression right now. I know He will. Enjoy our day off.

[Houston Heather]

Thanks! I'll take all the help I can get. I hope to inspire people.

I had an interesting dream when I took my nap today. Basically, in my dream my mother (who is deceased) stood behind me while I looked in a mirror and praised my weight loss! She told me how much she admired my workouts and pointed out that I was about to lose some fat off my belly. When I got up, I noticed that the belly fat does have that puffy, loose look to it that indicates an imminent whoosh. The fat turns soft and mushy instead of firm. I am going to take the dream at face value - because I'm certain Mom is proud of me. I am fortunate to also have a living "Stepmom" who basically raised me. I peed on a ketostrip and it was in the "moderate" fat burning range. I guessed right on that Atkins bar.

I just had to share that. We may be getting some wild weather this afternoon, but we'll see. So far my mood is great. If it gets gloomy, I'll do some ab work or use those "toning bands" I bought today.

[Houston Heather]

I actually got a little manic (too happy). When it's mild, it's a heck of a lot better than depression.

I did a lot of cleanup work in the kitchen and did some cooking too. I made a delicious pizza bowl. I had mozzarella cheese, no-sugar added tomato sauce (hard to find), pepperoni, and sausage. I cooked the pepperoni in the microwave until it was nice and crispy. Then I cooked the link sausage in a skillet until it was nice and crispy. I layered cheese, sauce, and various meats together into a wonderful meal. I am definitely making it again.

I was a little sleep deprived today because the cat brought home another baby bird. I took the baby outside and put it in a safe place. The bird was fine, and the cat got locked up in the house all day.

Have you noticed how all the other blogs get updated on the weekend? I find that interesting.

I'm a little tired today but that's reasonable, I expect my period to start tomorrow or Monday, and I did a lot of training yesterday. It's hard to me to take a day off my workouts, but I need to make sure I stay healthy and strong. Giving my body a day off now and then to rebuild everything is the only smart thing to do.

I decided to see if peanuts trigger migraines. It seemed like everytime I ate them before I'd get a headache. I ate 1.5 T of natural peanut butter (I bought it a week ago) today. If I get a migraine tomorrow then I'll know. I may be fine, though. I hope so, I love nuts. I don't plan to eat them until I get down to OWL but a bag of peanuts is easily stored in my tote bag for "I'm staving" emergencies.

I have tomorrow off and I can "afford" to lose it. If I don't get a headache I will be doing squat day and maybe running afterwards. That's not written in stone yet, but it sounds fun to me. Oh, it's supposed to be squat BIKE day.

I enjoy designing my own workout plans. My latest one is pretty simple:
Run & Bench (chest and back) - 2 days a week (last week I did 3)
Squat and Bike day (basically leg day) - 1 day a week (I missed this last week)
Deadlift day - 1 day a week (yup, did it).

It is a workout plan designed for my 2 main goals: power and strength. It also burns fat, keeps me at a good level of cardio, and makes me happy.

Today Ron asked me for help with some heavy cases. I moved cases of water (30 pounds), plenty of cases of canned soda (18 pounds), and cases of bottled soda (30 pounds). I picked them up, I put them down. I put them on carts, and into vending machines. I felt great picking them up, strong and capable.

You can't bottle that anywhere. If I had to pick him up I could do it.

Ron just had me watch an infomercial on TV. The guy is selling this fitness program. First of all, he wants you to work out for an hour a day. That's way too long for a beginner. Some of his exercises, like plyometrics, I feel are unsafe and dangerous to joints. I don't have the world's best balance, that's why all my weight lifting involves me standing with both feet on the ground or seated/lying on my weight bench. I'm not going to kill myself and ruin my joints, period.

When the guy was demonstrating a very basic dumbell curl, he "cheated". When you do an arm exercise, you should not be thrusting your hips at the same time. That's a great way to hurt your back. No thanks, I told him.

He agrees, I'm my own best personal trainer.

So, it's just wait and see, do peanuts give me headaches or not? If they don't I have an interesting trip planned tomorrow but nothing too major. It is a day off. I'd like to relax.

For me, squat & bike day is relaxing.

[Houston Heather]

Peanuts DO NOT give me migraines. I'm glad I checked. I'm still eating at induction levels, I just wanted to know, when the time comes, if peanuts are OK. They are. Good.

I slept in until about 8 and did about 40 minutes of intensive leg work. Squats, leg extensions, and hamstring curls. I learned a trick in a weightlifting book that says if you point your toes (or not) you can work the calf muscle too. So I got a nice extensive leg workout.

Afterwards Ron said he wanted to weed-whack. I had him take some photos of me in the gym. It was fun playing fitness model. I even wore a nice sport bra and my baggy shorts. It'll be fun to see how they turn out. I helped him weed-whack, and now I'm going to go do some bike work.

My period will start either today or tomorrow so I'm trying to stay fit and trim. I inflated 2 pounds, not fun, but most of it is probably retained water in my breasts! Ow ow ow!

Off I go to hit the exercise bike.

[Houston Heather]

Lots of exercise today: walking 20 minutes (I went to the fancy grocery store and the bookstore while DH hung out at Starbucks), exercise bike for 30 minutes, and 44 minutes of weights.

Ron gave me his debit card so I got a little bit of fancy cheese and proscuitto ham to pack in my lunch tomorrow. He wants Taco Bell. I want to go to the thrift store.

We have to get up around 4 AM - good thing it's basically an off day for workouts. I will just be doing shoulders and arms.

A funny thing, I've noticed a LOT more men are opening doors for me now. And the elderly man who picks up our aluminum cans told me I was looking very good. It's funny how you don't mind a comment like that when it comes from an 80 year old man!

I still have about 50 pounds to go, I'm not going to get complacent. I just think it's nice that I'm not doing this all alone in a vacuum.

I got a great copy of Strength Training Anatomy, it runs pretty technical but it is a wonderful book. It's my #1 weight lifting book.

[Houston Heather]

No period yet.

I am so proud of myself today. I got up at 4:30 to go to work. Even I'm not getting up an hour before that to work out. Uh, uh.

Our life together is a series of compromises. I wanted to go to a couple of thrift shops (located in the same strip mall), but the way our transportation works Ron had to go too. We set up the trip to go to the Taco Bell right across the street from the strip mall. I can walk, I don't mind at all. Ron has food and entertainment. If I had a dollar for every time we went to Taco Bell in our married life I could pay the mortgage note.

Which meant I'd be at Taco Bell at lunch. The only other food place nearby is an overpriced Chinese restaurant. No thanks.

Yesterday I bought myself some procuitto and baby swiss cheese. I cut up the cheese and mixed in some extra sharp cheddar for variety. Then I microwaved some pepperoni until it was nice and crunchy = lunch. I put it in my insulated cold bag.

While Ron ate probably 150 grams of carbohydrates (good thing he uses carb blockers and is only 150ish to begin with), I ate my cheese and meat. It was delicious. I did not feel deprived at all.

I went to the thrift stores and bought Ron a book on CD. I also got myself a couple of autobiographies.

I came home, pill time... needed to eat. I ate a little bit of cream cheese and took my pills. Took a nap, woke up, and ...

WORKOUT TIME! I had worked up an arm/shoulder/upper back workout using my new book (I had a copy before but gave it away when I was depressed). I stripped down to a sport bra and baggy shorts, with slip on shoes. Headband. Large thing full of sugar free lemonade - I love that stuff during workouts.

It took me an hour. I feel like I worked EVERYTHING. I figure, hey, I might be a little sore but I'll probably be taking painkillers for cramps anyway. Once I finish my protein shake (2 grams carbs) I'm going to fry myself up some sausage and eat that with green beans. I'm over on my cheese for the day, otherwise I'd cut up a little more of that delicious cheese.

Today we had a repairman come to work. He is "like" the only person I haven't told about my weight loss. I only see him every couple months. We were walking very rapidly towards the front door. I'm not even breathing hard. He looked over at me and said "You've lost weight." I said yes, 31 pounds. "I can tell! Keep it up!"

Awesome.

[Houston Heather]

I'm feeling discouraged today.

I weighed myself on DH'S talking scale and it showed me 2 pounds heavier. Yuck.

My menstrual cycle is all out of whack, no period - just lots of bloating.

My breasts are retaining water and very painful - see above. Stupid hormones.

Tired! Tired! Tired! I just got up from a nap and I'm tired!

On the positive side I feel nicely challenged from my long workouts on Sunday and Monday. I didn't have a long day at work. I got to buy more cube steaks at Walmart. I wore shorts that fit 3 weeks ago and they were nearly falling off all day. I bought a pair of bermuda shorts that say "16" on the label. I know they are making 16's a lot bigger than they used to but that's a nice feeling. Even with all the bloat and retained water, I have consistently lost 1/4 inch off my hips in the last few days. Not bad!

Is it a mild depression? Am I overtraining? I'm not sure.

I ate clean today, including a bag of peanuts. I had a choice between: stale pork rinds, 14 net carb "lowcarb" granola bar, or 4 net carbs bag of peanuts. I enjoyed every morsel. I seem to be OK with nuts now so I'll enjoy them on occasion. Our ride was screwed up, I forgot my lunchbag, and I was hungry. It was the best choice I could make. The peanuts stuck around for a couple of hours, too. I was impressed.

I asked Ron to get me a new step. He borrowed my old one to prop something up and I miss it. Later on, I'll tell myself I'm only going to play with it for 10 minutes in the garage. I may only work out for 10 minutes, or I may do a longer workout. Even I don't know. I figure I owe it to myself to try in case I'm still depressed - it will help. If I'm just tired, I'll stop after 10 minutes and go relax in a nice hot bath.

[Houston Heather]

It was depression. I felt a lot better after the 20 minutes were up than I did when I started. I'm glad I made myself go do it.

Bubba (the black cat) came out into the garage and watched me. I felt very foolish, but I kept going. I think he's eyeing the step for himself when I'm not around. It would make a wonderful cat couch.

I had my heart rate up around 140 (my goal) for pretty much the whole time. I did some lunges (I put the front leg up on the step) and got a good burn in my butt and thigh muscles when I did them. I have terrible balance but the step helped me balance. Well, I did lunges without falling over. That's a win!

I fried up some eggs Sunday and never ate them. They'll be dinner, along with some veggies and cheese.

First, though, I need to get the clothes going and then take my shower. I need to go to bed in about an hour - we have to get up at 3:15 to receive our Dr Pepper pallet. Then I'll help Ron put away a couple dozen to a hundred cases of soda. It's a short day, though, and then we're going to a good BBQ place for lunch.

I'm glad I improved my day.