Heather Shrinks in Houston!

[beth30]

I DO read Heather! Everyday!!!!! You are so in my prayers!!! My life is filled with pain right now (just reead my journal!) of a different kind...but I so wish I lived in Houston and could give you a shoulder to lean on!

[*Pear*]

:hug Heather

I'm keeping you in my prayers.

[dantesmom]

Heather you are in my prayers kind lady. PM me anytime you wanna chat.

[Houston Heather]

Thank you!

I'm glad my neighbor decided to crank some tunes as he drove into his driveway (the guy who lives behind us works nights). Ever since I "caught" the guy baby-talking his mixed breed mutt, I've had a soft spot for him. He did me a favor - I was having really vivid dreams like I did the night before. They get me a little twitchy.

It's already raining, already kind of chilly, but I'm going to have a GOOD day! Yup.

Ron is snoring in bed.

I have to explain Bubba and the alpaca yarn briefly. Alpacas are these big animals related to camel, but about horse size. They have very soft, warm, non-allergenic fur.

In South America, they have spun the "wool" into lovely warm blankets and such for a very long time. When I was on my fingerless glove kick last year, I was using a blend of alpaca/acrylic. It's nice and thick and cozy. Yummy. I used an orange wool/alpaca blend for myself. Anyway, some fiber artists in Europe and North America said "Hey, we like this stuff, we want some too!"

Sooooooo, they began making the yarn available on a widespread, commercial basis. What that leads to is it's available at my local craft stores (or was last year), not just specialty yarn shops. It's really hard to find toys for Bubba - he's picky. His favorite "toy" is a live thing brought in through the cat door. [shudder]

So, while working on a glove last year I set it down. The next thing I know I have a 16 pound writhing black cat chewing on the glove! He MAULED IT! Amazingly, he didn't knock out the needles (I made it on double-points). Every time he "caught" the alpaca yarn unprotected, he'd go after it, rolling on his side, biting it, all 4 legs flailing away at the yarn.

He looked a lot like this.
While cleaning up (I think, since I've found most of my catergories like "craft stuff" "Books" "Clothes" etc, it's easier to process where they go), I found his favorite skein. It's completely unraveled, about 3 ounces or so. Basically, it looks like a huge handful of wooly gray noodles. I left it out for him.

This morning, it was strung across the front of the house and wrapped around his body. He's a sweet boy.

I need to plastic-bag the contents of my backpack, before I go out. It looks pretty exciting outside.

[skeopple]

That picture of Bubba and the yarn is adorable!

Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday, dear Heather.
Happy Birthday to you.

Wishing you a blessed day out and about. It's raining here too. First time in weeks.

Make God smile today.

[Houston Heather]

You betcha!

Local weather:

Light rain early this morning will give way to heavy downpours later today and throughout the week as a mild cold front approaches the Houston area.

As much as 3 inches of rain is expected in some spots today, making street flooding possible, according to the National Weather Service.

I guess I better eat some breakfast and get out of here.

[myrtle]

Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday, dear Heather.........
Happy birthday to you!

Hope you have a wonderful day!

[FitinCO]

Hi Heather, I wanted to wish you a wonderful birthday. I miss you over on the PG. Thinking of you with lots of love.

[KristenT]

Happy Birthday Heather!

[Houston Heather]

Thank you!

I'm off after a good breakfast I cooked myself. I also have a nice hot mug of tea to drink while waiting on the bus.

[Violet Skye]

Heather, wishing you a Happy Birthday doing things you love to do and with people who make you happy (yes, this most definitely means yourself, as well as all of us LCFriends.)

My niece's 14th b-day is today, and, like you, she is a powerful and kind person with a good sense of self and a delightfully different worldview. You add a great deal of sunshine to the world just by being yourself, and don't you ever forget it!!

[karenb]

The Playground is wishing you a Happy Birthday. They're asking the thread moved to the Playground. You may be gone but not forgotten! Happy Birthdya!

[beth30]

Happy Birthday Heather!

[dantesmom]

Happy Birthday sweet lady!!!!

You deserve all the best Heather. May this coming year be an awesome one for you!

[Besos]

Happy Birthday!

[Houston Heather]

Thank you everyone! Thank you mod, whoever moved my thread!

OK, all about my day. Ron wakes up, says he loves me (today?!?!), says he was "angry at (my) brain for forgetting the keys". Now he says he didn't mean anything he said.

I am just glad I am taking mood stabilizers, because he has an unstabilizing effect. On the one hand, I wanted to sigh "Oh, I knew you didn't mean it, darling!" just like those cheesy old novels and movies. The other, greater, part of me had a tremendous urge to take him outside for a ferocious butt-whipping. I decided that I am leaving him up to God, and just kind of held myself back emotionally today. God will do a better job kicking his ass.

Something VERY interesting: Ron would never get therapy, but he's been talking to an old girlfriend who - guess what? Is a therapist. He was totally boggled today and called me, "Do you still get depressed?" I'm like, yes, you know that. He, apparently because she told him, was totally shocked to realize that I still need "help" with the bipolar issues, even when they're under control. "You make it look like nothing!" After I picked myself up off the floor of the grocery store from laughing, I said "That's my blessing, and my curse. No one wanted to see me struggle so I got very, very, good at hiding it." Anyway, she's asking him some GOOD questions and getting him thinking. I was a little annoyed he discussed all my symptoms without asking permission. It's one thing if I choose to share, but I feel he should ask before he tells people I have hallucinations. Anyway..Ron is already talking to a shrink.

I have started doing little, nice things, for myself. I am burning incense in the bedroom because I like the fragrance. I am burning a scented candle near my left hand, on my computer desk. It's in a pretty stained-glass votive holder. The flickering light and the fragrance make me happy, as I sip my delicious Diet RC.

It makes me quite happy. Ron almost had a heart attack today when I got home. I told him "I need to take out the trash while it's dry out". He said, we didn't need to. I told him, I filled up both cans with all the junk I tossed, and we did. He was just in shock. I told him "I've told you, it's a brain issue. I just needed the right medication; now I've got my system down." He still hasn't realized what'all I've done, but one day he'll figure it out. He doesn't "look" at much, since he sees with his left hand.

So, I left. It was chilly, for Houston. Winds out of the north. Cold front, probably felt like 60 degrees (shiver). I brought my ancient old XL fleece jacket, worn under my poncho. I took some bad advice today about footwear and wore my fake crocs.

As I left, I had jeans, fake crocs, t-shirt, jacket, yellow poncho, backpack, travel mug of tea, and my turquoise umbrella. Good thing Ron IS blind.

I ventured off into the ankle-deep water and waded off to the bus stop. I love wading through puddles.

Every bus today had awesome connections: I only waited a few minutes at each stop, if that. Every driver waited patiently for me to cross the street, no one splashed me, and it seemed like everyone had a smile (probably at my getup! ). That's amazing and wonderful.

Keep reading, it gets even BETTER!

I decided to go to Mega-dollar. I got some more fake Crocs, and called various people mocking the condoms they carried. Yes, Mega-dollar offers 12 condoms for $1. They even had the spermicide and the tip. Not that I am a condom expert . I sound like such a dirty girl, typing that... anyway, I thought they were hysterical. I called 2 people (even Ron) and laughed about it.. and the fact that they offered $1 pregnancy tests right next to the condoms!

I did not get the condoms...needless to say. I got the fake crocs (2 pair) and a lunchbag. I had forgotten my insulated tote bag - and I wanted to get berries and cream later on. Gotta keep the frozen berries chilly! AND I got a canister of jasmine room freshener, it's fantastic.

Then I had a short wait on the bus and caught my connector to "Favorite Dollar". I actually practiced restraint - there's a craft store not far and I said NO! Instead, I went to "favorite" dollar and got various items, exciting things like toilet bowl cleaner , some duffel bags for organizing the yarn I already have, and such. I got Bubba some bubbles (not interested) and organic catnip (VERY interested). He's rolling around on the floor right now. I hate it when it's raining, I have an umbrella, and other people don't. I've been wanting to get a couple of "Favorite's" umbrellas and hand them out if I see a need - I have one myself I've been using for months and it's great. I got a couple of them.

After I left, I decided to go to Starbucks. I was going to go to a place that sells tea, but the weather was AWFUL. By this time, I have blisters, too. AGH. I decide to skip tea-place.

I ride the bus and decide to go to our new Starbucks. I get off and walk. I have a nice time. Then, I think, maybe I should go to the mall. I can use some new t-shirts, and Lady Footlocker always sells 4 for $10 (it used to be 5-for, BUT they have 100% cotton which is the only kind I can stand). Hm. Lady Footlocker, new t-shirts. I can do that.

I realize I will have to try a "new" route. The Starbucks to the mall is something I've never done - never walked at all. I have no idea how easy it will be, but it's only about 3/4 of a mile. I decide to be brave and venture on.

As I am crossing a parking lot, I spot something. Three, $20 bills, lying face up, side by side, like someone laid them down on purpose. They are drenched, but obviously the real deal. I look around, it's just me and a few cars whizzing down the busy road about 40 feet away. Huh. I pick them up, and stuff them in my pocket.

This is the third time I've found a sum of money just lying around. God was wishing me a happy birthday! It only happens every 10 years or so!

At the mall, with money. I called Ron and told him. He almost fell over. I called the guy I "loaned" money to, a good friend, and told him "I told you twice it was a gift, but I'll say it again." He began to speak. I said "If you won't accept it as a gift look at it this way, I just found $60." He said "OK".

I head to the mall. Lady Footlocker! Two purples (one's more of a magenta), a brick, and a gorgeous cobalt-violet. I looked around. Plum is apparently a very popular color this year, but eh - doesn't do much for me.

I hobbled over to JCPenney. I was interested in their polarfleecy jackets. I am a jacket freak. I have one for every occasion. I hate being chilly, and I remember the days when we were so poor I had to wear the same ugly secondhand coat every time it got cold. Boy, I had plenty of them. Ugly, secondhand-one-at-a-time-coats. Never a cute new one I could pick out for myself - "Too expensive".

So, I looked at the cute plum fleecy jacket. $18 - I had it, but eh. I selected a black fleece vest instead. MEDIUM! I NEVER get tired of MEDIUM tops. I don't actually own a vest, or didn't until today.

The battery died on my MP3 player. I changed it, but that battery died. OK, that's it!

I marched over to Radio Shack and got myself a BATTERY TESTER! What a geeky gift for myself! But I love it. You just touch both ends to it, and find out if your battery has any juice. Before you put it into your device.

I hobbled out to the bus stop and caught my connection. I really, really, wanted that chai tea - enough to walk, on my unhappy feet, to the grocery store.

I got decaf vanilla chai, decaf traditional chai (2 different brands), a decaf white chai (they used white tea leaves), an orange spice - never get tired of that goodie, and some decaf black. More of my TooSweet stevia sweetener, oh, and the infamous berries. As I told Ron on the phone "If I only buy one organic item, it'll be berries". Which, after checkout, went straight into my mega-dollar cold bag. It worked.

The cashier, seeing I love my tea, and chai in particular, flirts with me until he sees my wedding band. It made me smile!

I'm done, my feet are KILLING me and I'm ready to go home... and... the rain stops. I decide I have enough cash to pay for a cab. I literally cannot walk on these feet, in the shoes. I have a couple of broken open, dime sized blisters. It's either bare feet, walking from the bus stop to the house (a ways), or a cab. I decide, since I am a good tipper, I will call a cab.

It's supposed to take 25 minutes, but only takes 5! See what I mean? AWESOME trips today.

He's a very nice man. I'm home in minutes. Cost of cab - $8. I give him $13 and a big smile. He smiles back!

He's off and I bring in my stuff. My priority mail large flat rate boxes have FINALLY arrived. Amazingly, the birthday cards are dry.

Everyone called and sang happy birthday to me, even the other vendor's wife!

Now I'm going to cook up some pork chops. YUM.

[Houston Heather]

My Dad majored in Electronics and actually went to MIT. He got a thrill out of hearing I got myself a battery tester.

[Snowman]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEATHER!!

Hope your day was extra special, just like YOU!! You are sweet, kind and such a good hearted person!! Touched my heart when you said you wanted to get umbrellas to hand out!! Always thinking how you can help others!!

[Houston Heather]

I didn't want to buy them out, either. I thought that would really suck.

Did I mention it stopped raining when I got home?

The decaf vanilla chai tea I got was DELICIOUS! My only problem so far has been coaxing my washer into a decent spin cycle. It needs a little lovin' before it spins sometimes.

[skeopple]

I'm sooooo glad you enjoyed your birthday, Heather! I loved your writings about your day out and about. Thanks for sharing!

Sleep well!

Hugs.

[pennylovesdarren]

Heather!

[Houston Heather]

I just can't have a boring day.

Today, it's Burger King (yum!) and then Starbucks. I have 4 blisters on both feet total, so no day out today. I want to let them heal up, so I'm wearing flip flops. Good thing we didn't plan on a steakhouse!

I need to go toss my knitting in my tote bag before the ride shows up.

I took a bigger dose of the antipsychotic, and I had normal dreams. I may need to stay at a higher dose for a bit.

I didn't have many emotional issues taking an antidepressant, the fact that I needed it. Same with the mood stabilizer, I was begging for that! But the antipsychotic causes me issues. AGH. I am still struggling with the fact I need this red pill EVERY night, or else!

[Houston Heather]

Well, I had fun.

We went to Burger King. I teased the manager about changing the music channel to something "more romantic". He said, no.

I ate my burger and Ron asked for a bite - he liked it, so it looks like bacon cheeseburgers are workable.

Then we went to Starbucks. Ron had planned an hour trip in case I wanted to go to the pet store - I'm pretty easy for him to read. However, my feet are a mess so I stayed put.

Some guy kept coughing up a lung in the Starbucks. I have taken increased doses of all my stuff. He seemed pretty lively, he ran out to his car at one point. I told Ron, I hope he's just a smoker or allergic to something.

Anyway, we had a good ride home, too. The driver wanted me to sit in the front seat next to her and we had a good time talking. When we got home, I gave her the last brownie (for now). Bubba came out like he owned the place and strutted around.

I sure love that cat - he's a real sweetie. I find it very interesting that he is SO affectionate outside the house, but not so much inside. Frosty was just the opposite. He acted like a completely wild cat when he was outside.

After I checked the mail, Bubba came meowing up to me, and we sat in the yard and enjoyed the weather for a bit. He leaned up against my back, where I couldn't pet him.

[Houston Heather]

No invisible bugs on my skin... no things out of the corner of my eye... no wierd thoughts... no wierd dreams.... I'm nice and tired when I should be.

[sigh] I just have to accept that I need a bigger dose.

[skeopple]

Glad you found your correct doseage though! Hope you continue to be on track and feel well. Also, hope your blisters heal quickly.

[Houston Heather]

They weren't bad today. I got out the fancy waterproof extra cushioning bandaids from my kit. I have an awesome first aid kit.

OMG. Wait until I tell you about today. I am SO glad I am properly medicated... let me tell you.

First off, picture time, scroll down for new ones. Picasa Web Albums - Heather

Of course, the front view shot has become my avatar. I was getting tired of the stop sign, but I'm not eager to put up a Ron shot yet, either.

Big sigh.

OK, Ron was 1000% convinced that our delivery would arrive today. I was a little skeptical. We got up at 2:30, I took my shower, got dressed, treated the blisters, and ate my breakfast. I took my lithium, and got my badge and keys.

We got to work at about 4:30 AM. I got up at 2:30, got picked up at 3:40, and rode around for 50 minutes. I'm ready to work, ready to get this delivery.

5:00. We should be seeing the other vendor by now, but we aren't. They always come in at 5 on delivery days.

Maybe, just maybe, it isn't a delivery day. 5:10. I'm convinced, but Ron tells me to go wait on the dock for the delivery. It's his name on the DBA, his name on the contract, his business - literally. Soooooo, I take my knitting and my MP3 player and go stand outside on the chilly humid dock. For an hour.

I think it must have been about 7:50 before he accepted the fact that we had gotten up early for a delivery arriving tomorrow. AAAAAAAAGH.

He insists that the sales rep told him it was Thursday. When he called and got ahold of someone, they said Friday this week, Thursday next week. I'm willing to bet all my birthday money that he got the times mixed up in his head.

ALL. And I mean ALL I said other than "I don't think they're coming today." was "The next time they change the delivery day, maybe call back and get the information from TWO people instead of just relying on one person." That's it.

Taking a moment here to get on my knees and THANK GOD for proper medication. I was really, really pizzed. Not only did I get up at 2, I have to do it again tomorrow! BAD husband! Very bad!

Fortunately I am tired enough that I couldn't have worked up much of a rage anyway. He keeps saying "Well we had to fill the machines anyway." But we sure as heck didn't have to fill them at 4 AM! AAAGGH.

One of the custodians asked me how Ron apologized, and I laughed. "I'm his wife!"

But, I did get someone to take some decent current photos today, so I'm satisfied. I can't really do my machines because I HAVE NO MERCHANDISE.

The real killer? We actually PASSED THE TRUCK today - driving down the Beltway. I was OK until then.

Ack
Ack
Ack

All I have planned today is a trip to Foodtown, a nap, and some decent eats.

Everyone I saw today raved about the brownies. I'm glad they liked 'em.

Excellent quote in Dear Abby:
It is important that people experiencing this kind of stress {caregivers} get respite time to themselves, away from their care recipient, in order to be able to keep helping them.

[Houston Heather]

Foodtown. More brownie ingredients and an entire case of diet Dr Pepper bottles. "Heather," I said to myself, "You WILL drink them. Would you rather have to dole them out, one at a time, or have a nice stash at home? They cost the same, regardless." So, I bought a whole case. Yeeee-haw.

Ron got a good look at my butt today, something different about living with a blind man. He had to actually feel the butt. He said "Wow, you have lost a lot of weight! I like it!" and then he said "Please don't lose much more, I love your curves" (paraphrased).

I was thinking about that anyway. I may reset my goal for 160. I'm very happy with my figure now, I would like to lose a little belly, but it's not very important to me. I am way, way, WAY healthier than I was. I'm going to think about it.

Saturday we meet my aunt and uncle - with Metrolift that's pretty much an all day thing. I believe I will make tomorrow my Day Out and go to Walmart and the mall. I only have 2 decent bras that fit, for instance. Most of my nightgowns look like they came through an awful illness (hives) with me. I could maybe use ONE pair of jeans. The black jeans I like are pretty thrashed. So, that's a Walmart trip and one department store for the nightgowns.

I am not going to make Ron sit in the sit & shop wheelchair while I try on one bra after another. 1. Rude comments about wanting to "feel" the bras. 2. Other than the rude comments, I don't think he'd enjoy waiting.

I need to eat something and take some lithium. I don't know what.

[Houston Heather]

I told Ron today:
"I believe you now"
"What?"
"When you say you don't care what I think - I've heard it in so many different circumstances. Drunk, sober, angry, not angry, I believe you now."

That's not true, he replied. "If I were a normal woman, we wouldn't fight".

I just sat there gaping at him, going "What did you expect, Heather?"

He did seem to slightly get one thing I told him, I was sharing an opinion and took about 30 seconds getting it out (aforementioned not caring what I felt). He shouted at me to finish, hurry up.

I told him, when you were going on and on and on about your opinion, and I asked you to stop, you told me "I don't live in Russia" and kept [ranting] "talking". Then you turned around and made it into a personal attack.

Lord, you're gonna HAVE to work on him, because every day he's like this is another step to an emotional divorce.

I did ask him, when was the last time you made a mistake (I know I didn't - just saying), and I turned it into a personal attack (never)? He had to say "He didn't know, but it's my fault for having this brain thing."

I am so glad I am in a medication happyspace, because I just had the urge to commit a felony. An easily squelched urge.

I'm not even brooding on what felonies, exactly, I'd perpetrate. Happyplace!

[skeopple]

Heather, I tried the Picaso link several times and it says I'm not authorized to be there

I'm glad you're in your happy place

[*Pear*]

Heather, I hope Ron comes to realize how good you are to him and how much you do for him. It seems to me that he can't make it on his own without you; whereas, you would do fine without him. Its a shame he doesn't realize that.

I hope that he figures this out sooner rather than later.