Heather Shrinks in Houston!

[Houston Heather]

When I finish this, I'm going to go take a 45 minute walk. On the days I don't work out, I plan to walk. Even if I walk every day for weeks, I'm exercising.

I'm pretty tired today and have no desire to run; my hamstrings and "lats" are sore from another workout and I can't see how it'll help to run on top of that. I like being flexible; today wasn't written in stone as a run. I need to wash my hair, wash the bedding, call Mom and Dad, freeze the meat I cooked the other night, and cook a dozen hardboiled eggs so I can make DH his tuna/egg salad.

No wonder I'm tired. The last thing I need are weights or intensive cardio. Walking doesn't feel like work to me (thank you God for that).

We went to Walmart today. When I...

Wait. My waist is an inch smaller this morning! Yay! I'm halfway to my "waist" goal. I'm very happy about that. Weight and other measurements were the same, and the dandeliion root tea helped considerably with the sore breasts due to water retention.

OK. So, I went to Walmart. As I was getting ready to check out, I had to laugh. I had organic celery, organic salad mix, a new sport bra (very comfortable, I've worn this brand before but I tried it on anyway), a fitness magazine (I changed my mind on that), organic eggs, cases of the bottled flavored water (DH is now officially addicted), full-fat cheese, etc. It looked like I was losing weight. I loved it.

Walmart has an awesome "their brand" athletic sock for women. I like the acrylic/polyester socks that are furry on the inside. All they had in the name brands was cotten, cotton, cotton. When I reach in my sock drawer, I always go for the acrylic blend running socks. I wanted more, now I have them and they were on sale! I got 3 pair black (I have black work shoes and I think white socks with a black sneaker are tacky), and 10 pair white for less than $10. Money well spent. If they fall apart or anything I'll let you know.

I've been crowing about that inch all day to anyone who would listen. People are so kind, really. I can see that when I take my pills.

I was hungry so I bought myself a side order of eggs at McDonalds. They were good. I drank a bottle of flavored water.

Our ride pulled up. She said she had another pickup after us, so I shifted my groceries so they wouldn't get mixed up. It's a good thing. I know the other client, she weighs around 400 pounds. She has a very difficult time buckling her seatbelt. She reminds me why I don't eat sugar and wheat anymore.

I was nosy. I admit it. I watched the contents of the grocery bags as they were loaded. 2 bags of bread. One bag of store-brand pop-tarts. No vegetables. No meat. TV dinner after TV dinner. Later, I told DH, "I moved my bags because I knew, if I got one of hers, I'd never eat the contents." So sad. The driver was asking how long I had been doing Atkins (a continuation of my going on about losing 6 inches off my waist in 11 weeks). I talked about it and how great I felt, in front of the other client. She can't say she didn't know, but she was completely indifferent.

We dropped her off first and then we came home. Even though I'm tired and I had some wierd bout of "The Squirts", I'm going to walk. Because I can. I don't want to lose the priviledge.

[pennylovesdarren]

Originally Posted by Houston Heather

..... I'm going to walk. Because I can. I don't want to lose the priviledge.

Beautiful thought! and so true! Keep it up Heather. Your thread is very inspiring to me and many others I'm sure!

[Houston Heather]

AWWWW.

Today we had to work. I asked DH if we could go in a little later, he said fine.

I woke up at 6 AM and I was out (in my new running outfit) running by 6:35. I had a great run. I saw "The Walker" and "Asian guy who runs, walks, and powerwalks" - my 2 regulars. We all shared the road nicely and I got a beautiful sunrise in the bargain. I am accustomed to making 4 laps, running from one end of the trail to the other. It takes about 5 minutes. My running endurance is up (about 1.5 to 2 minutes on the run intervals) so I'm moving faster. Today is the first day I did 4 laps and had to go back and do another half to use up my 21 minutes.

Th... Dad called and I ate my dinner. Lost my train of thought.

As we get into summer, my only runs are going to be early morning, about sunrise or so. I want to take care of myself and running in hot sun and humidity is not doing that! I envision something like running 3 times a week, with a bike day and 2 weight days.

My new running outfit worked great. I really am a size L for a top. My new shorts were extremely comfortable. I loved my Walmart socks. Sport bra was awesome. I didn't think about any of it while I was running which is just the way I like it. I wear Walmart running shoes, too, the "Carson" - a Men's brand in the size 9W. For my running, all this works great.

While I was on the phone with Dad, I told him about the inches lost, etc. Then I told him what I ate for breakfast: 2 cooked sausage patties with cream cheese in the middle. He laughed and said that sounded like something that would make me fat, but it works for me.

After my run, shower, etc. we went to work. I like having an active job now that I'm low-carbing. I do a lot of lifting, carrying, stacking, stocking, etc. It's a good thing I was so active when I ate poorly - I would have looked a lot worse, I'm sure.

Today I was starving. Just at work, I ate 3 ounces of cream cheese, a cup of cut up celery, an Atkins granola bar, and a can of Spam Spread . I was that hungry. I ate until I was full and who knows, maybe I'm building muscle, or getting ready to drop some fat. I try to give my body healthy food when I'm hungry. You can check my fitday link if you're curious.

We came home, ate some more, and I took a nap. When I woke up, I did a few chores but I'm going to bed early. I'm not too worried about exercise tomorrow. I'll see how I feel. I may take it off, I may "just" walk, I may do some weights.

When I got up to come finish my post, my butt hurt. That's a good sign, but I don't feel comfortable with stressing my legs until all my aches and pains are gone. My quads and hamstrings are still tender. I did some lunges the other day when I got stuck waiting at work for 2 hours. With a body weight of 200 pounds, they were some lunges!

[Houston Heather]

With the night I had, I'm amazed I dropped half a pound to 201. I'm not so obsessed about when I get to a certain weight or size (by my birthday in September would be nice, or maybe Christmas, but I'd be happy with sometime next year). For instance, my breasts are still sore from water retention. Once that comes off I'm sure I'm in the 190's.

The. Night. I. Had. It started innocently enough with me going to bed about 8 hours, 45 minutes before my "first wakeup" as DH calls it. It took me a while to drop off but not too bad. An hour or two later, I'm awakened by a loud clang in the kitchen. My cat had knocked something off the counter. I went back to sleep. An hour or two after that, ANOTHER loud clang. The cat had knocked over the air conditioning filter DH had propped up in the hallway. I thought "I should get that before...zzzzz" . You guessed it, an hour after that DH falls over it and wakes me up again. Then the neighbor's dog started barking and apparently ripped a partial hole in the fence. The renter then embarked on lots of timid hammering (tap tap.... tap tap) for 20 minutes while they repaired it. I look at the clock, it's 3:30. My "first wakeup" is at 5 AM. Uuuuugh.

I rolled over and dropped off a little. When I woke up, DH, who was sorry about the air filter thing even though I should have picked it up, had cooked me some bacon. I ate my bacon and sausage and went to work. I was fairly productive, but I had a dizzy spell. I haven't had those since I started low carb and I have an intense hatred of them. The dizzy spells really remind me I'm sick. Luckily it happened in private. I imagine I look as if I'd been drinking or something.

We got our watermelon at work - it's cut up in clamshell containers, we sell them for $2 (with a spork included). They're a big hit in the summertime. It was nice to know that we sell good things and not just crap. I put out several and everyone was excited to see them.

I also checked on some machines, but they were quiet. I might need to do some snacks tomorrow but they aren't really moving fast. Ah, DH is home. I just heard the van pull up. I just helped him get a cold drink for this driver, the paratransit drivers just love Dr Pepper. I wish they liked diet better.

Insert break for cat discovering DH's long white cane and the enticing possibilities. I.E. attacking long white cane repeatedly while Ron held it. It was hysterical.

Work wasn't too awful, and then we went to the bank. We got stuck at the bank too long and I had to use the bathroom, which involved begging for access. They were very nice about it.

After work, we went to Walmart. I ate a couple of bunless hamburgers as evidenced by fitday. I got my purex, razors, and cat food. We came home, and I crashed.

I am not working out today. I'm still tired but I'm not sore. It's 92 degrees outside.

Tomorrow I get up early, run, shower, and then go to work. DH was very accomodating on my schedule.

Dinner will probably be the infamous whipped cream thing with some chocolate flavored egg protein.

I got a confirmation email from the vitamin place. They shipped it today.

[Houston Heather]

Sunday I told myself I would try to run every other day.

Today I kept my promise. I had a great run. I have to get ready for work so more later.

Except for adding, after my day yesterday I was down another half pound. I am still premenstrual and retaining water, too! Amazing.

[Houston Heather]

DH got through raving - no, he isn't finished. Anytime something happens, I have to listen to him rant and rave about how God is an $hole. The whole Bible is a lie, and the "creation god and devil story" doesn't hold water... etc.

Our ride is late, he gets started. He reacts strongly and negatively. He rants for a while. I understand that in part this is due to his head injury. The parts of the brain that regulate emotion and control reactions to stimuli were damaged. Anything else that happens, though, just feeds it until he's storming around the house yelling at God at the top of his lungs.

Periodically, I have to tell him I've had enough. Today the trigger was a ride that was ALMOST late, but worked out OK. Then he heard that a driver we like got mugged this morning. When we got home, we had a "crime scene" of feathers and bird blood leading to his room. I told him, and then I had him sit down while I cleaned up. If he'd walked around he would have tracked it everywhere. After I put the dead bird in a plastic bag, I gave it to him. He threw it away outside. That was the extent of his effort. He screamed at the cat, and got started on the whole God thing again.

When he started judging my beliefs (I don't judge his, I find it sad) I drew the line and told him to stop. That was not acceptable and I had enough. I like that I am a lot more assertive now.

So far, not counting my run, I have 6,368 steps on my pedometer, not counting my run. My run the other day was about 5,700 steps, so I've obviously got my 10,000 for the day. I ate smart, too.

I realize that when I run, my whole metabolism revs up for the day. I need to pack more food as a result. I didn't eat all my food. We went to work, then we went to a BBQ place. I ate at work, and a snack while waiting on our ride, and then I ate a 2 cup salad I brought from home, with my own dressing, at the BBQ place. Their salads are lousy and the dressings sugar-laden.

I ate a half pound of smoked turkey and some pulled pork, both without sauce. I'm pleasantly full. I took my medication so as soon as I put up the leftovers I'll be taking my nap.

I am so glad I ran this morning, I've really needed it.

[Houston Heather]

He apologized.

Yuck. It was pretty awful cleaning up that poor dead bird. The worst part was finding the foot, all by itself.... GAG.

And we just bought a 10 pound bag of cat food. We put the black cat outside for now. The white cat seems to be enjoying the quality time with us. He's curled up near my feet.

I think I'm going to go to bed early.

[Houston Heather]

Yup, right now the black cat is "outside" and the white cat is "inside". The white cat seems to love it. He didn't have to share his num-num this morning (Fancy Feast canned). Again, he's lying near me.

I know I'm less than 200, but right now it's teasing me. I'm not freaking about it, I know it'll come off when I start my period. My butt was half an inch smaller today, that's cause for celebration right there.

Here's a quick rundown of goal measurements:
Waist: 30 (right now 36) was 42
Hips: 40 (45.5) wasn't measured but estimate 52

My waist and hips tend to run about 10 inches apart. I remember my high school measurements were 27 inch waist and 36 inch hips, but it didn't look good. Too thin.

I have less than 6 inches to go on both my waist and hips! Perhaps I'll hit my size goal while still being "heavy" for my weight goal. If that happens, I'll consider my goal.

Would I want to go smaller yet (I still want my curves, and they evaporate around 135 pounds)? What if I'm a size 10 at 170 pounds? I would want to lose more weight for my health but I won't go below 150 without a serious re-evaluation of my goal.

Someone mentioned recently that she's a 6/8 at my height and goal weight. That would be nice, but I'm happy with my goal. As time goes by, I think I'll hit my size goal before I hit my weight goal.

Huh. Even if I slow down and "only" lose an inch a month, that's still means I'll be at my size goal by Thanksgiving! Good excuse not to screw up eating - having just hit a big goal. That would be great. I'm glad my body likes what I'm doing.

Speaking of, I need to call DH and see if I have time to do some weight in the garage before it gets hellishly hot later. He is taking me to the sporting goods store today. Well, he will wait at his favorite Mexican restaurant (he's maintaining) while I walk over there. I have a lot of fun just looking. I might buy myself a hat, too.

If someone gave me a debit card with my name on it and said you have to spend the whole thing today, I would go to the sporting goods store first and then to Walmart.

[Houston Heather]

I love how I react to things. Someone said something unfair to me on another thread (I don't understand what it's like to have a mental problem???? ). I got angry.

I replied in WWJD manner, I feel. I was still kind of steamed, I hate it when ignorant people presume to judge me.

I took that energy and said to myself "Go do weights". Today is a weight day, after all, but I was rather lacking in motivation. I went and had a great workout.

I don't know if I mentioned it before, but I had been having trouble with squats. I don't know why, but I could barely do 4 squats with 28 pounds total. Today, I knocked out 3 sets of 10-15 each. If this keeps up next time I'll increase the weight on the barbell.

Once I get out there doing my weights, I love the challenge. Arnold Schwartznegger talked about it in his bodybuilding book - that people need the challenge of pitting themselves against something. Even the developmentally disabled (or my take - brain damaged and bipolar).

Anyway, I had a great time, very satisfying workout. Wasps are geting into our garage. DH had talked about setting off a bug bomb in there but I wasn't wild about the idea. Until a wasp looking for the door landed on my barbell and began exploring.

OK, honey, go do your toxic avenger thing. Then we will fix the garage door - install a cat door into it so only cats can come in (although the one is still on probation after yesterday's dead bird).

My other cat is peacefully asleep in the laundry room.

My hair is a disgusting, matted mess, so I'll keep this short. I was glad I did my weights when I did because it was almost too hot. I was sweating a lot.

I'm glad it's just me out there. I was able to wear my new sport bra and some baggy, elastic-waist shorts for my workout. I have an old towel on my weight bench.

Afterwards, I had a delicious treat:
Heather's favorite post-workout shake
1 serving l/c chocolate whey protein. (3 scoops)
1 serving egg protein (1 scoop)
16 ounces water
1-2 ounces heavy whipping cream
a couple of ice cubes.

Put the water in the blender first, then add powders. Add heavy cream. Blend. Add ice. BLend some more. Put in a cup with a straw.

Enjoy!

It was SOOOO good. I am going to have one every time I do my weights. I have had them before and they don't stall me. Today, I should be getting some gourmet whey protein powders (low carb). I saw them in a fitness magazine, you get 16 flavors and they're low carb. If they're good, I plan to send some to my sister.

She is having some surgery next month and won't be able to eat "normally" for a while.

Have a good one!

[Houston Heather]

When I came back my powders had arrived. I plan to try one out later.

While I was gone I had fun. I dropped DH at Starbucks (the Mexican place hadn't opened up yet), and headed off. My first stop was the used sporting goods store. I think it's very sad to see rusty dumbells but better that than them languishing somewhere. At least at the store they can have new lives.

I bought some standard barbell clips. Stop #2, a health food store. I bought some psylium fiber (I could have got it online but the shipping is a killer) and some egg white protein.

The egg white protein looked enticing. It was fruit flavored and had no carbs. The taste, however, was very artificial. I regret spending $15 on it. I don't regret giving it a try. I can mask it maybe by adding another powder, like whey, something strong-flavored. Not chocolate but maybe some vanilla. Anyway, now I know, buy the ON brand egg white protein. I really like that. Excellent product, both the chocolate and the vanilla.

I was getting hungry, again, so I bought an Atkins granola bar and a bottle of water. After leaving, I went to the sporting goods store. I had a lot of fun looking around.

Even the 2XL shorts didn't fit. It sure made me realize that various stores have various size charts. I did find a cute running top in navy. I felt the white top was a little too see-through. I wasn't comfortable with that.

After I got back to the Starbucks, I took DH to the Mexican place. He had a great meal, I had a diet soda. We were both happy. He's a great sport about waiting for me.

UGH. PMS cramps all day. Other than that, it's been nice and quiet.

I got over 7,000 steps on my pedometer on my shopping trip, not counting my weight workout. It's nice to know I'm taking care of myself.

[Houston Heather]

Busy, busy, day.

Wake up at 5, go to work, no run. Walmart after work, come home. Tried to nap but DH invited someone over, so we ran errands. While riding in the backseat I noticed my thighs are looking great, nice and firm. We got home at 6 and I thought, it's too late to exercise.

But I got on the bike anyway, did a great half hour workout. About midway through I decided to tackle the weights afterward. I haven't been doing weights as frequently as I'd like. So, after I finished I went out in the hellish heat of my garage, turned on a fan, drank some icewater, and did some deadlifts. All different styles of deadlift, sumo, straight legged and regular. I did overhead presses in between. 20 minutes later, DH comes in during the last couple reps and tells me he's worried about me, please stop. I finished my last rep, racked the barbell (blind men and barbells on the floor are a terrible combination), and came in.

I put all my food/activities into fitday and came in here to let y'all know how my day went.

Tomorrow, up at 5 AM again, but I have all day Saturday to myself. I already told DH, "Saturday morning I am going for a run. I will do anything you'd like later but Saturday AM is MINE!"

Oh, I reek. I need to shower.

You take care! (((hugs)))

[pennylovesdarren]

You rock Heather!

[Snowman]

Heather ~ Just stopping by to say, KEEP UP THE FANTASTIC JOB!!!

[Mack]

KOKO - keep on keeping on

Lots of tough stuff you are overcoming, Heather.
KUTGW !





-mack

[Houston Heather]

Awww. You guys are sweet!

Today was a good day except for waiting an hour and a half on our ride (I can't drive), outside at work, in the sun, heat and humidity. Feels like upper 90's.

Needless to say, I got a little dehydrated. I had an empty soda bottle with me so I filled it up with water and drank the whole thing. Our ride showed up pretty soon after and I drank 2 big glasses of ice water before I drank my diet soda. TMI but after I started peeing a lot I knew I was fine. Moral of the story: bring my 2 (one quart) water bottles, filled, to work every day so that won't happen again. I got heat exhaustion once and it was awful. I was only 13 but I still remember it vividly.

No workout today. I took it off. When this week is done, I'll have done 3 run days, a bike day, and 3 weight days (tomorrow I plan to do my chest after my run). I'm delighted. It's basically my goal plan. Plenty of downtime, not working the same body part day after day, but challenging and interesting. It doesn't take forever, either.

DH is going to work by himself tomorrow. No big deal until you consider how some people react to a blind guy, partially paralyzed on one side, going to work by himself. They think I'm a monster! I would be if I didn't get a little time to myself now and then! He always has a lot of fun (except for making people fat, we love what we do), and then he's going to Starbucks. He has his own neighborhood store, with a table that's considered "his" by the regulars and staff. Once they even asked someone to move so he could have it!

I'm not that into Starbucks but I am excited. I'm getting some ON nutrion Mocha Cappuccino whey protein powder tomorrow. Here's a link from our sponsor, they sell both the products I'm going to mention: ON whey protein powders

I already mentioned that I got the 16 assorted flavors, Netrition is cheaper than the place I used (I know, terrible Heather). They are all excellent. I liked the Mocha so much I ordered a 1 pound jar of it. It's arriving tomorrow. Happy day.

That was sent FEDEX. The package I had sent to me regular mail left the Dallas Processing center last night, probably get to our processing center tonight, me tomorrow or Tuesday. I'm impatient. I will remember this.

Anyway, I'm going to have a lovely, icy, low-carb Mocha Cappuccino shake tomorrow. Yummy.

It will be nice to have a nice quiet day off tomorrow. I'm already looking forward to my run. I may increase it (if I feel able) from 21 minutes up to 25, and I will bring a bottle of water to the park. Happy trails, indeed!

[Houston Heather]

I'm proud of me today.

I got up at 5:45 (DH "On your day off?") and went for a run. It was hot and humid. I couldn't run at the intensity I would have liked, so I opted to dial down the intensity and go longer. I ran 25 minutes and ended up at the far end of the park, adding an extra 10 minutes walking onto my exercise. I was starving when I came home so I had Ron make me some sausage patties. I put 1 ounce cream cheese between the patties and mash them together into a delicious sandwich. Yum. I just ate another bite.

I was probably a little "inappropriate" today - I see a guy who uses an electric wheelchair occasionally. Today he asked me how I was doing. I told him great, I lost a half inch off my butt this week! It kind of took him aback and then he started laughing. It's true.

After I eat and take my pills I'm going to do a little bit of weights in the garage before it gets hot.

[Snowman]

WOW Heather, up at 5:45 AM on your day off??!!!

Wonder if that man will ask you again how your doing??!!

[Houston Heather]

I wonder, too.

I have horrible dreams if I sleep too late so I don't mind waking up to the alarm. Tomorrow I plan to wake up early and run again. After my run, before my shower, I plan to do some BBQing. I'll put up my recipe for cheddar burgers tomorrow.

Today we got up early and went to Walmart while it was still quiet. I had some Diet Dr Peppers and I noticed I was very hungry later. I'll get it eventually. Aspartame screws with my blood sugar.

Anyway, today I've eaten clean. I had a 3 ounce block of cream cheese and some bacon for lunch. I take 2 lithium tablets at lunch. I'll get sick if I don't eat a hearty meal when I take 'em.

I was very disappointed: yesterday I started my period. Today I expected to lose the 1-2 pounds of bloat plus another pound or two of retained water. Instead, it went up half a pound! AAAAAAAGH.

I am losing the bloat, though, I had bloated up an inch on my waist and hips (normal, this happens every month I've been tracking it), and that was down half an inch each. I lack patience.

I realize I need to drink lots more water - it's extremely hot, humid, and sunny. I waited outside for about 30 minutes and drank a whole quart of ice water. I need to drink more before my nap and more every couple hours I'm awake. I'm certain I'm a little dehydrated. I'm staying home for the rest of the day so it doesn't matter how often I use the bathroom.

That will probably have a big impact on when my body decides to drop some more weight. I'm getting healthy, that's my goal. A number is meaningless unless it's affixed to a healthy body. I've never really been fit, even when I was thin. I want to be fit and healthy. I'm able to focus on that, instead of a number, thanks to my medication.

Today we made an ice bath for some bottled sodas. I had about 5 gallons worth of ice and a couple more gallons of water in the container. It was no big deal for me to pick it up and put it down several times, and pour it out when I was done.

Nice. Later on I'll do "Squat Day". I'm just going to do some variations of squats: regular and sumo style - maybe with another body part exercise in between while I recover between squat sets.

I've done squats the day before a run and I was OK so I don't envision any problems. I will be bringing a LARGE water bottle tomorrow, on Saturday I could have used more water but I ran out.

And the bayou water is NASTY.

[Houston Heather]

I guess I scared the guy off, Snowman. I didn't see him today on my run.

I hit the snooze button and got up at 6. I was at the park running by 6:35, and walking home at 7:02. I was starving. I made myself a whey protein shake and a sausage patty.

While I was drinking the shake it dawned on me that it does have 8 grams of carbs. Not a big deal "normally" but at this stage it's probably stalling me. I'm going to cut back. They're delicious but not worth it. I'm falling into the trap of easy-fast-good, not thinking that my body might prefer real food and fewer carbs. Done.

I did squats last night in the garage, I had Ron spot me on the last set. He has a tremendously good attitude. He can't even squat his own bodyweight with the stroke damage, but he's very supportive of me. He stood behind me a few steps while I cranked out the last 10. My form deteriorated on the last one so I called it a night. He even helped me rack the bar.

I was uncertain if I'd really even done anything to my butt and legs - I had a good intense workout, nearly worked to failure, but I wasn't hurting today or anything.

When I went for my run, my butt was burning intensely. I did a lot more than I thought I had! Good. I like to know I'm improving myself.

After I take my pills here I'm going to start making the cheddar burgers before it gets too hot. Then I'm going to be lazy all day.

[Houston Heather]

Well, I didn't make cheddar burgers. I was really tired all day yesterday and I only figured it out today.

I forgot to take my supplements. They make a big difference.

Today was not inspiring in many ways. I weighed 204. I am still bloated on my measurements. No headache or pains, but I feel I am due a whoosh and a loss of at least 3/4 of an inch each off my waist and hips.

DID I GET IT? NO! AAAGH.

I was smart. We had a longer day at work today, so I ate some bacon for breakfast. I took some fiber powder (psyllium) in water when I ate my bacon. It really helped me stay full for hours and hours. I was impressed. I'm going to use this "trick" when I take my pills on a smaller meal, take the fiber in powder with the pills to help cushion my stomach. I am excited enough about it to put fiber pills on my list for when I get paid.

After I ate, I packed my meal. We would be at work for at least 4 hours. Some days my metabolism is just revved and I get very hungry. That's dangerous when I am lugging around a cartload of pastries. So, I packed a sausage patty, cooked; fried eggs with cheese on top (delicious), cheese sticks, celery sticks, and my trusty 3 ounce block of cream cheese. I ate the first two at work. I was very nicely active at work.

I started to get hungry at Walmart so I ate a bunless hamburger with an Atkins bar. The bar has more carbs than I'd like in it but I really wanted one. I figured, hey, it does have fiber too.

I got another pair of the $5 elastic waist shorts in cotton. I find them very comfortable for hanging out around the house and they're good for working out in the garage with my weights.

I'm having a hard time today battling those voices that say "You're messing up... look you're gaining again!" "You can't lose weight, no matter how hard you try" and "Why don't you just give up".

But then I think about the woman who rode on the van with us when we were going home. She was extremely obese and forced to use an electric scooter. The scooter was as wide as the whole van. She wore shorts and short sleeves. I saw way more flesh than I would have liked. She probably weighed around 400 pounds, going to her doctor. She kept staring at me, too.

Or I think about someone else I know. She is obese. Her knees are shot and even though she had them replaced she still can't walk very far. She uses a wheelchair or borrows the electric cart from the store when they go shopping. I think Ron can walk farther than her.

Or the Dialysis people, telling each other to eat a low-fat diet. They tell the drivers, too. But they're in dialysis. It didn't work for them.

People like that get me thinking: is there a point when it's too late? Can we abuse and neglect ourselves to the point that even if we did everything right, we'd still be wrong? Would our bodies ever work the way they were intended to, or is there a point of no return where you will never regain your health?

I wonder. It's been plaguing me recently. In my own case, hell, I'm running. I'm increasing my running time, I'm not only lifting weights, I'm powerlifting. I have a medical condition and medication issues but I'd say overall I'm healthy now. I couldn't say that before. A man at work complimented me today:

"Heather, are you still working out?"
"Yes, I'm running and lifting weights"
Looks me over in a respectful and appreciative manner, "I can tell!"

It's nice to feel like I'm noticed, that I'm not working in a vacuum. I'll drink my water today and keep eating clean. I hope my body sorts itself out soon. I'm going to go easy on the whey and the bars, that should help.

DH and I are going to the beach next week for a few days. That'll be a lot of fun. I have no doubt in my mind that I can eat clean while we're there. The hotel is not far from a grocery store and a Super Walmart. I can take beautiful runs along the Seawall and relax with DH.

[Houston Heather]

Seven sets of Deadlifts!

I did 2 sets Sumo, 2 sets regular deadlift, 1 set narrow stance deadlift, and 3 sets stiff legged deadlift.

OMG I did EIGHT!

I also worked other body parts (shoulders today) in between sets. I'd do a set of deadlifts and go straight into lateral dumbell raises. I think I did it.

My butt will be screaming tomorrow during my run. I do not want a flabby butt, no matter what I weigh. I had a flabby butt when I weighed 120, not pretty. It's not pretty now, either.

It's about getting healthy. Besides, I'm lazy and cheap. Why join a gym and use their butt and thigh machines when I've got my trusty barbells and my deadlifts? Deadlift gets about 70% of the muscles in your body in one movement. But you have to be careful. When I get sloppy I stop that set and rest.

[Houston Heather]

Up again at 5:40 on my day off.

I told DH it is extremely important for me to run 3 days a week, in the morning. I asked for his help. He gave me today off! He is very supportive and understanding, especially when I reminded him I'm doing this to get healthy.

He got up even earlier than I did (thank God for separate bedrooms) and is at work right now. I'm about to go run.

We had a "cold front" come in so it's in the 70's. It ought to make for a lovely run.

More later!

[Houston Heather]

I was a little sluggish but I did my deadlifts yesterday. It took me 28 minutes instead of 25. I was slower walking home, too. I feel great and nothing hurts. My butt was burning during my workout so I think I'm doing things "right".

It was ironic to see obese women standing on the corner (waiting on the schoolbus with their kids), frowning at me as I walked home. What was their problem? I'm exercising and improving my health, and they're ... what? Judging me? Not a very good way to burn calories!

I was accused of being a racist (even though DH has "negro" plastered all over his birth certificate) because I mentioned someone's race in passing while telling a story. Lest that occur again, I will say some cultures, particularly those south of the Texas border, frown on women exercising in public. Those cultures are heavily into sugar and carbohydrates but allow women no way to burn them off! It's especially bad in the Middle East. I've heard young women in Pakistan were beaten for attempting to participate in a road race for women. They were assured safety but the powers that be reneged on the deal and had them punished. I can't imagine getting whipped for daring to run in public! This happened a few years ago.

I find that criminal. I'm going to keep running. Those women, kids, the people who drive by when I'm running, even the guy in the wheelchair, everyone sees that I'm out there doing it, 3 times a week. Hopefully they will also notice, "Hey, she's looking better" too. Then perhaps it will lead to "I could do that".

I want to be a positive role model.

[pennylovesdarren]

Heather, you ARE a positive role model! You are fantastic and I love your guts & determination. You are definitely a force to be reckoned with. I'm sure the people "frowning" at you weren't thinking anything negative. I know I'd be thinking, "wow, look at her go!!" "She's hot!" Keep goin' girl!

[Houston Heather]

Thank you!

I tend to run paranoid so I'm 90% sure it was in my head. I just get twitchy when people are staring at me for periods of time. It messes with my already messed up head.

Boy, if only people knew. Which reminds me, it's pill time.

[Houston Heather]

Overall, today was a great day. I only worked a few hours, DH was wonderful, and I got paid early. I ordered something online and it's already been shipped. NO complaints.

I could tell when I woke up that I would have been depressed. If I weren't taking my pills, I'd be suicidal. Taking the pills I'm just a little down, not much at all (hard to squelch my natural eubillence), but tired and it's hard to do things or summon up interest in the things I enjoy.

Today I was just very very tired. I did well at work, DH always means it when he tells me I'm a big help. We went to the bank, I got paid (repaid him a loan he made me), and got picked up just as we finished. We had a straight trip and I had 2 hours at Walmart.

I picked up a couple of double cheeseburgers and quickly made them bunless. I ate one, figuring it would help with the fatigue, and took the other one shopping. We are taking a little road trip soon so I wanted a rolling bag of some sort. I found a nice rolling backpack for $25. I got my supplements, because they seem to help a lot with my mood and energy level. They ran about $35. The jury's still out on whether they help with weight loss since I'm stuck at 202. My legs are looking nice so maybe I'm just building muscle at the same rate I'm burning fat. It's all about getting healthy so I'm focusing on that.

I found some lower-carb whey protein so I bought a jar. It was a good deal, comparable to online. I figure it will be good in whipped cream for a treat now and then. Or making shakes, vanilla goes with everything.

I made my deposit so I ordered some low-carb chocolate peanut butter whey protein (4.5 grams per serving), and some unflavored egg white powder with no carb grams. I can mix and match them for good, lowcarb shakes.

I'm drinking some of the cheap vanilla now. It mixed easy and has a nice vanilla taste. I've been very "into" the whey/protein shakes recently. I guess they are my latest mania (defined as "intense interest"). I'm not blowing my food budget on the things and they are healthy so I'm just rolling with it. Pretty soon it will be something else.

I noticed my hair is thinning in the front. I was pretty hysterical this morning. I realized later that it's not obvious to anyone but me. I don't have any symptoms of low thyroid. If anything, the lithium "fixed" my thyroid. I used to be cold all the time, now I'm more normal. From what I have read it's probably genetic and common. Let me repeat, it's not obvious to anyone but me. Ron was incredibly sweet about it.

It's possible it could be related to my medication. Lithium depletes the body of Insitol. Adele Davis, a famous nutritionist, used to say that insitol deficiency was common in hair loss. She'd give insitol supplments and many times the hair would regrow.

Guess who'd already bought a supplement with 1 gram of insitol a day? I've been taking it for about a week so if it's insitol I should see improvement by the time the bottle runs out.

Oh, my favorite quote of the day. I had to take my lithium at Walmart (2 tablets). They made me even more fatigued. I still had fun shopping but it took a lot out of me.

I packed all the cold things into the cold bag. I got rid of the suitcase stuffing and put our stuff in it instead. I coallated the remaining bags.

Our ride showed up on time and I helped the driver load us up (one cold bag, one tote bag, the backpack). I was very tired by now and my voice and posture showed it. We went to pick up the next client. She hobbled out with her cane. She was elderly. She had hip trouble. She had a terrible cough.

As she got in, Ron asked me if I was OK. "Yeah," I replied, "Just really tired." She turned around and looked me in the face. "You're tired?" Yes, I replied. I know I sounded exhausted.

"Now? At this time of day?" Yes, I told her. I heard her muttering as she turned around. She had plenty of energy. I didn't.

That made me feel just great, the other client was feeling sorry for me. But she doesn't have brain damage, mood disorder, and four lithium tablets a day. Her disability is all physical, mine is basically "all mental". I think we'd each rather keep what we've got.

I came home and got my nap. I slept about 3 hours; that's tired for me. I have to get up at 3 AM tomorrow to get the junk food delivery. After work we come home, then we go to Cracker Barrel. That'll be nice.

I had way too much caffeine today, so I'm going to take some Benadryl so I can go to sleep. Thank god I never got into anything stronger.

My back and butt are a little stiff so I'm glad I took today off from workouts. Tomorrow will be "Bench Press Day" in the garage and then a run on Saturday morning. When we go to Galveston, I plan to do 2 things: Run along the seawall. Join the gym (they have a gym with day passes). Working out is fun for me and ALWAYS something I'd do on vacation.

It's surprising what I can do in spite of the fatigue.

[Snowman]

Heather ~ YOU continue to inspire me each day!! I enjoy reading your journal and look for it each day. (no, I'm not a stalker!!) LOL

I better get off my duff and head to the gym! If you can do it, so can I!!

[Houston Heather]

Thanks, Snow.

Oh, today. Today today today.

DH decided to play he-man outside and weed-whack, even though his back has been acting up. Let's just say his technique looks like something out of a spinal horror movie. Today, he awoke in agonizing pain. He could barely walk. He could not bend over. He cannot lift. He's already blind and partially paralyzed on one side. He was in a BAD mood and I had to endure it.

We need a tragic little figure playing a violin so I can demonstrate I'm having a pity party. We got up at 3. He made me breakfast, very nice. We rode around for an hour on our paratransit, picking up someone else. We got to work. He could hardly get out of the van. I wished we'd brought the wheelchair. We got into the stockroom. He tries to move a few cases of soda, drops a 6-pack of RC Cola on the floor, and I'm looking at 6 little gysers, shooting up soda all over. I had to grab them and throw them into the sink. Then, mop the floor at 5 AM.

I decided to adopt a cheerful attitude. I'm a Christian and the Bible says to do your work as though you're serving God, not Man. God will reward you as a result. So, I decided I was lucky to mop up soda and did a fantastic job (mop the soda, rinse, Mr. Clean, air dry). I could eat off that floor.

At the end, I was told our delivery was here. I ran outside to view an unholy mating of my products with someone else's. We had no bottled water. In summer, we have no bottled water. They sent a box of "I'll never sell" cookies with the pick label for the $120 ground coffee for the vending machine. Obviously, not acceptable. The poor driver had to separate every item and stack all my stuff on it's own pallet. Then, it was off to the freezer section to play find the lemon pound cakes. He found them. Good. Ron likes to smuggle them into Starbucks.

I filled out the proper paperwork and sent the pallet off to the stockroom (they don't let me drive a pallet jack). I ran back and unloaded the stuff I needed onto my "snack wagon" - a rolling cart with about a dozen cases of chips.

The snack wagon rolled through, filling empty coils everywhere. After I finished, DH needed help with some lifting. I did that. Then it was setting the coin counter. Meter readings - every single machine tells you it's total sales. I had to read them onto tape. The "pull" counting all the money and bundling it. Lastly, taking all the coins out of the vending machines and putting them into buckets. I got hungry in there and ate 2 pieces of bacon Ron had made for me earlier.

Finally, time to go. Our ride was basically on time, but we were going to the bank. We went to the bank and did our business. Our ride arrived even before we finished, very nice. I hate waiting, but I'm good at it.

Now, Cracker Barrel. We got there 2 hours before the pickup. We ate, we dawdled outside. We got our ride. I was very tired because I had taken my noon dose of 2 lithium tablets.

We rode around for almost an hour. I was so ready to go home and sleep. I got home, opened the door, went to the bedroom, and realized one of my cats had vomited in the bed. I had to strip it down to the mattress pad. It took me a while to get it stripped and remade. Then I got the offending bedding into the washer. Thank GOD I have a washer and dryer, and extra bedding. Thankfully, the vomit was the only "gift".

In the meantime, both the cats were begging. I knew one of them was my offender and yelled at them. Frosty (the snowman!) forgave me and got into bed with me anyway.

I slept until I had nightmares, then I got up. Later on, today will be "Bench Press day". I will alternate sets of Bench Presses with lateral pulldowns and bent-over rows.

I already got over 10 thousand steps so I know I'm good in the cardio department.

What a day. It could only happen to me.

Tomorrow, DH and I compromised: I go for my run, shower, and THEN we go to Sam's club to buy water, then work where I'll be the designated beast of burden. I will do all the lifting and bending-over stocking. He wants fried chicken (can't argue with the bad back), so we'll get dropped off there. I get a bunless burger at the Burger King nearby and maybe hit the dollar store. Then home and we get Sunday off.

Monday he sees his doctor about his back. I think it will be better by then if he isn't foolish.

[Houston Heather]

Today was a horrible day.

I woke up with a migraine. Why, you may ask, did you get a migraine, Heather? Well, I ate half an onion ring yesterday. Apparently my body doesn't like cornmeal breading.

Good news: I didn't vomit. Once I start vomiting it goes on for 12 hours straight. DH was very kind about it, and one of the cats slept in the bed with me. DH even gave me my cell phone so I could call him and ask for refills on my ice bag.

I have to be VERY careful what I take after a migraine. The wrong medicine can make me freak out. Phenergan works for me, it puts me to sleep and gets rid of any nausea. I used 2.

I didn't get the run I'd planned. I was really upset about that. Of course, I couldn't get too upset because my right temple felt like it was being drilled. It still does, but to a lesser degree.

We didn't go to work, but DH got an extra day off to rest his back, which he says is feeling better. It looks like we will be going on vacation. I'm going to live, and my computer chair is right next to a handy recumbent exercise bike. Later on, I may carefully attempt a workout. If I get my blood pressure up too much, the migraine will come back, so I'll be extra-cautious. If I do it.

Tomorrow morning I would LOVE to run but I'm assuming that's not happening for now. If I wake up feeling great, I'm going to do it. If I wake up feeling OK, I will go for a nice brisk walk, which is better than no exercise at all.

I'm not having a pity party because there are people on the board with far worse illnesses than mine. Mine are all in my head, even the migraine. I can still get my body to function properly, it just hurts my head. Some people don't even have that. I like to count my blessings.

I really think that's why I never attempted suicide, even at the worst. I really try to focus on the positive things in my life. I have a very good life.

I had planned to share my exercise book with you anyway (before the headache), so here goes. Every time I work out, I log it in a little $2.50 day planner I bought. I have a 5x8 notebook where I log details (reps and sets on weights, time and type for cardio).

Here's what I did in May:
Weight workouts: 10
Run days with a walk to/from the park: 9
Bike days (recumbent at home): 4, five if I do it today
Walk days (only walking): 3

Total cardio: 16
Total weight: 10 (some days I did both)

Not bad! I'm very pleased. I just plan to do my 3 powerlift days (squat, bench press - did that yesterday, and deadlift) every week. I have noticed a lot more muscle in my thighs since I started, and they look a lot better.

Besides, I'd rather work harder for 20-30 minutes and get a 2 hour quality workout. Especially with all those nasty wasps in the garage. I'm scared of them. DH swears we will get the door fixed next week or so. I sure hope he means it.

Then I can have some fun out there.

[Jean@125]

Wow. Heather you are doing great! Jeanie