Heather Shrinks in Houston!

[Houston Heather]

Chuck came, we went to Home Depot. I bought a "Confederate Jasmine" - it likes shade, is fragrant, vines, and has white flowers. I plan to put it in the Frosty garden.

I bought 7 bags of mulch, various soil conditioners, and the manure. I loaded it all onto the cart, then loaded the truck. When we got home, Chuck used his key and went in and visited with Ron (who stayed in bed) while my garden cart and I unloaded the truck. Then he left, I had a slimfast low carb (and a lithium) and went off to the garden center.

It was freezing, cold, raining, and windy. Not a fun weather day. I still had a good time.

I went to the garden center, and shopped in the pouring rain. I got some "Tasmanian Violets" - they are a nice groundcover, spreading, with white and purple flowers. They like shade.

I also found some white impatiens, which I wanted. I noticed that the bums were not at the closer stop, so I went to it and then to Starbucks. I took the plants into Starbucks (not much greener than me!), got my heavy whipping cream thing, and had a nice time relaxing and drinking something warm. I was soaked and pretty cold.

Then I went out and waited 20 minutes on the bus, which was late. Then I walked home. I did some laundry and I'm cooking myself dinner.

I'm glad I stayed busy today - we've got a lot happening tomorrow too. I have to get up real early so I'll be going to bed in an hour.

Bubba's been really cute today and he even let me pick him up. He's no Frosty but he's doing his best.

[Houston Heather]

Chilly, damp, and miserable. I'm glad we're done for the day.

After work we went to Walmart and got some more "nums" - canned cat food in Bubba's favorite flavors. It was nice to talk to a sympathetic person at work.

Just long enough at Walmart to get my stuff, but not too long. Then Burger King and home.

I wrapped my tomatoes in some clear plastic sheeting because it'll be chilly for days yet. They ought to enjoy the difference. Everything looks great - even my scarlet runner beans sprouted (in this weather?). The collards are getting scary big.

Bubba's been cute, but he's no Frosty. I put some treats in my bag so I'm ready if I meet a pathetic stray somewhere, but I plan to let Bubba bring home a freind if he wants - that's what he did with Frosty.

Oh, I loved that cat. Oh, I'll miss him, especially when I'm about to take a nap. But he had a long life and is enjoying his reward in Heaven. I won't begrudge him that.

[skeopple]

You're so sweet, Heather. A true furbaby lover. I think you have to pay to adopt a pet at the shelters. Watch for "free kittens" in the want ads. There will never be another Frosty. He was a one and only and you have so many memories in your heart. Ya need to give it time. (hate when people say that, but it's true)

[Houston Heather]

Oh, I don't want a kitten. If I got another cat it would be an older male.

I had a good talk with Bubba today. He's the one who brought me Frosty. I told him, it's up to him. If he wants a new buddy, he can bring one home. Otherwise it'll be Bubba's house.

I think I owe Bubba that much, after 6 years of "us". His first family moved, took their bird feeder, and left Bubba to starve. Smart cat had made freinds with me, though, so he moved right in (I did ask the Landlord and his first family didn't care what happened to him). When we moved into this house, 5 years ago, poor Bub was hysterical. He thought I'd leave him, too, when he saw me packing.

The first time he went in the carrier he got neutered (price you pay to live with Heather), but he purred all the way to the new house when I loaded him up on moving day. He was so thrilled.

He's been a wonderful boy today. I went out to wrap my tomatoes and he joined me. He lurked around in the yard while I checked on everyone, and came in when I did.

I told God I accept that Frosty's gone, but if He could give me a sign - if Bubba got in my bed, even for a minute, I'd feel better. Bubba got into bed with me during my nap, stayed by my head for a good 15 minutes (unheard of), and slept by my feet for hours.

Bubba's a very good boy, more independent than Frosty, and he's NEVER gotten in my lap. Frosty was content to hang out in my lap for hours a day, but he was a rare kitty.

Ron and I cried a little today listening to sad songs and talking about him, but we're hanging in there.

I've been craving something sweet, so I'm going to hunt up my pumpkin pudding recipe and make some. Found it!

Pumpkin Pudding

[skeopple]

God's signs...........awesome. Now you know.

It's good that you and Ron have cried over Frosty. It's part of grieving.

Continued healing and blessings to you, Ron, and Bub.

[Houston Heather]

Thanks! I'm sure Bubba knew all along - that Frosty was elderly and on his last leg (although he was pretty frisky, too). He doesn't seem to miss Frosty at all.

I had my pumpkin pudding - so tasty! I'm glad I had the ingredients available. I was really starting to dig around for something sweet.

It's sad/funny how much knitting I can accomplish these days without a certain white cat getting into my lap and lying on it. I've already finished 1/5 of an afghan that'll be MINE when I'm done. I'm using leftover brightly colored scraps of yarn.

[Houston Heather]

My wrist is acting up, I'm going to go easy on the knitting today.

I saw Bubba. Ron's still asleep, I need to talk to him about what he wants at the grocery store when he wakes up, before I go. I won't wake him up because he has a terrible time sleeping.

[skeopple]

Heather, I just want to make sure that you know a gal named Allison has been on these boards. Says she is a relative of Zer and let all know that Zer is sleeping nights and eating correctly.
Last we heard, she is still in the hospital. I sure do miss her.

[Houston Heather]

Good! She must be the niece. I miss Zer, but I'm glad she's getting better.

Ron finally spoke to me, as I tiptoed around him for an hour... he was already awake! "I heard you take a shower, Heather, and then you went in the kitchen."

I told him I was going to the grocery store, running by my bank to make a deposit, etc. He gave me some money to get his new favorite dinner "Zatarain's Red Beans and Rice" TV dinner. I also got him some gumbos, which he liked. I wanted to get some decaf teas, I want to get off aspartame before my period (in about a week and a half), otherwise I'll have hideous cramps.

I went outside and checked my garden, looking good. I'll have to get some photos when it stops raining. We need the rain but the cold, overcast weather is a real bummer.

I woke up with a bad headache - I keep taking asprin every 5-6 hours. It's working pretty well.

Anyway, I gave the neighbor's dog some treats and got a licking through the hole in the wooden fence. He's a sweet dog, it's too bad he's an "outside" dog.

Bubba was his usual furry self, very indpendent. He got in bed with me when I took my nap and then lay at my feet 'till I fell asleep.

I got my rolling cart, with an insulated tote bag, all my stuff was bagged up in ziplocks in my tote bag. I went down to the bus stop, caught the bus. I got off and walked over to the grocery store. I had "Ron's Money" "MY" money, and the deposit money all in different pockets of my jeans. I called Ron a few times but all he wanted were the TV dinners. The last call, he said he was tired and wanted to sleep, so I didn't call him anymore.

I got him some Salt and Pepper pork rinds (he didn't ask but he's already eaten quite a few), his gumbos, his Red Beans & Rice, and something else I've forgotten. It was a frozen dinner thing, a Creole type dish. Winner is, Dirty Rice. It's basically a spicy rice casserole with ground meat and peppers.

I mainly got tea, some more stevia, some canned tomatoes, some canned unsweetened sweet potatoes (I was seriously craving sugar, and I figured it would be far better to have some sweet potatoes than some other bad thing), and deliberated over soda, finally putting it back. I paid up and left, loading all Ron's Frozen Dinners in the cold bag. It never got above the 40's today so I didn't need it to be very cold.

I thought about Starbucks but the traffic light was down, so I opted for a McDonalds. On the way over, depression really hit me. I thought "I need to take my lithium" then thought "Why bother, it isn't helping anyway". No, that's BAD talk, BAD THOUGHTS. Lithium helps with Bad Thoughts. Bad Thoughts are hard to articulate but very very bad - when they get bad enough it's all about the hurting myself and the suicide and society's better off without me around... etc. They scare the crap out of me.

On the way over, I passed a Popeye's. They are having a special on the Shrimp Tacklebox. It's a cardboard box with shrimp, a side, and a biscuit. I had enough of Ron's money left over (forgot to mention, I made my deposit) to buy him one. I decided to do so.

I went to McDonald's and bought some double cheeseburgers. I de-bunned them and ate them, taking my lithium and some asprin.

I went over to Popeyes - still hurting badly, just missing my baby tremendously. My MP3 player is playing songs like "Dancin' in Heaven" "Spirit in the Sky" and "Carry on my Wayward Son" - things I really needed to hear. I'm also battling a depression that feels like 100 pounds on my back. UGH.

It's cold and rainy, and my umbrella broke. Great.

I roll my cart into the Popeyes and buy Ron's meal. I tied it up in a plastic bag so it would stay fresh and perky.

I saw a woman waiting at the bus stop so I hurried over. We had to wait about half an hour (we must have just missed one) but we had an interesting chat. Nothing heavy or serious, but she told me all about the devious way her aunt made her eat turnips as a little girl and how a ham hock makes collard greens absolutely delicious. By the time the bus came, my lithium liferaft had saved me from drowning, yet again.

That was a close, nasty, call. I am very glad I was out when it happened. It could have gotten very bad. I want to manage my illness, I don't want to be managed by it.

It's a hell of a battle at times. But, I lived, and I'll keep on.

To quote one of the songs on my player:
"I'm gonna keep on
Trusting in God so
Lord I need you....

On a day like today,
I know I need to pray,
So many lies I've heard,
I'm so glad I have your word.

I'm gonna keep on,
Gonna hold on tight.
I know who I believe in,
I won't give up the fight.

On a night like tonight,
I want to do what's right
No matter what goes on,
You are my strength, my song."

Gonna Keep On by Whitecross

[Houston Heather]

Bubba came and laid next to my foot for a while during my monster movie. For him, that's in my lap.

[Snowman]

{{{HUGS}}}

You had a busy day!! I am so glad your able to manage your illness like you do. You sure do know your body well!

I love the words you quoted to the song you were listening too! SO TRUE!!

Take care, Heather!

[skeopple]

Just running thru and wishing you a blessed Sunday, Heather and Ron~

Do something today to make God smile

[Houston Heather]

Well, I WAS going to go out into the garden.

Then I heard the thunder. Bad word.

Bubba is currently lying on top of Ron, who's napping. It's really cute. He knows he's the top cat and he's the boss (the cat, not the husband). Actually, I did a check. Bubba is on top of my dresser, looking regal.

He likes that I call him names like: Handsome, Master, etc. He would not be pleased if I called him "Precious" It's getting better but I still miss Frosty.

It is amazing how much knitting I can accomplish. I finished one strip on my afghan (mostly done last week) and already knocked off 10 inches on the next one.

I slept in today, no headache, thank God. I just took lithium #2 - if it knocks me out I'll take a nap, otherwise I'll clean out the fridge, I guess.

One problem I have - when I'm up, I love to cook. When I'm down, I hate to eat. I end up throwing away a lot of food everytime I get depressed.

I'll know when it's time to reduce my lithium dosage - I'll start getting muscle twitches, ringing in my ears, very clumsy (as if I were drunk, which is why everyone at work knows about my illness), impossible to think, typing goes all to hell, etc. Then I'll go down to my usual dose of 2 a day.

I'd rather risk getting toxic. The alternative, out there exposed to a horrible magnified depression, is unacceptable. I have a life... ugh. Rain! Downpour rain!

I am very happy for all the farmers and ranchers who don't have to worry about a drought. I am unhappy that I don't get to play outside.

Anyway, I'm going to go watch the end of a bad sci-fi movie and work on some knitting.

[Houston Heather]

My garden photos to date for the month, a few Frosty and a couple of thermostat ones, too. Picasa Web Albums - Heather - March 2009

[Houston Heather]

Well, we got SUN! today. I was very skeptical when the forecast said sunny and 80's, but it did get sunny and mid 70's by early afternoon.

I went to work, made a big dent in the vending machines, and talked to Ron about what he'll be doing after the hand surgery. He wants to do as much as possible. I can understand that.

We had a good pickup from work - when we came out the ride was already there. I started getting toxic. I just couldn't think and I felt like I just got off a spinning carnival ride. UGH. Time to reduce my dosage back to 2 a day.

The lithium really does it's job. It's a mood stabilizer, and it really does stabilize my mood. I have side effects but I can handle them (ie - took a nap this afternoon). IT WORKS. I never take that for granted. NEVER.

I truly believe that's why God allowed my illness to get so terrible before I was diagnosed, so I'd take it seriously. Unfortunately, a lot of people with bipolar tend to get very sloppy with their medication, if they take it at all. My doctor says a lot of them use the medication like a painkiller - "I'm not hurting now, so I'll stop taking my medicine" and/or "I only need it when I'm sick". I know I need to to avoid being sick.

Anyway, I thank God every day for my lithium, even when I am getting toxic. I can live with a bad taste in my mouth, foggy thinking, and fatigue. It's a lot better than the alternative... bad thoughts and worse.

We went out to eat, we got stuck there forever. I brought my knitting thank God. I got a lot of knitting done - I never realized how much Frosty impeded my knitting until he died. Now I'm cranking out inches a day. Hm.

When I got home, I put my plants outside and gave Bubba some treats. He was so grateful he got into bed with me, twice, and let me pet him before I took my nap. He's outside now (it's beautiful out, lots of birds in the yard, warm, and dry for the first time in a week).

I had a pretty good nap, except for "Wild Kingdom" kitty running across me during my nap, meowing at some kind of prey (bug? I don't know, don't want to know). I went back to sleep.

Tomorrow we go to work and then to the hand surgeon. Ron will probably get hand surgery in a few weeks.

Funny, last time I was so worried about it, and then he had the toxic reaction to Bactrim, which was a whole lot worse! Ron said he will allow the doctor to tell him how much he can use his hand. He is thinking he'll be OK if he uses the fingers but not the thumb. I'm thinking they don't want him to use the hand at all, but we both agreed that the Doctor is right. He's a good doc and operated on Ron before.

My big thing will be taking care of myself as well as Ron, and taking time to do good things for myself. Ron needs to run errands on Wednesday, for instance, but I can still go out and have fun some other day.

I need to work up a list and make that happen.

One thing I'm envisioning for out back - getting a hammock, hammock stand, and some mosquito netting... it would be so nice to nap in my hammock, under the tree, safe in my mosquito netting. I'm going to give that some serious thought. It'd be like a little vacation while I'm still at home.

Fortunately, it's very quiet during the early afternoon, so it's a real possibility. If we have another hurricane, I just bring the works in the house.

I cleaned up the disaster kit and got rid of some older codes. All my mayo, for instance, was expired. I need to get more mayo, some soups, and canned fruit (sugarfree fruit cocktail cups, etc). I ordered some protein powders (low carb) because I'm getting a little sick of not finding my Slimfast Low Carbs. If I can get a case now and then, great, but I'd rather just have a jar. Easier if Ron has to go to the hospital, just bring a jar of powder instead of a bunch of cans. I plan to order a jar of each of the flavors I like. Each jar has about 30-60 servings. Everything else was pretty good - I need some more antibiotic ointment, but we have plenty of painkillers. I try to prepare for everything.

Ron said "It sure makes you happy to work on the kit" and I told him, it made me very happy, when we had a hurricane coming (2 came near Houston and one hit), to know that I had everything I needed. Even my medicine. Ron keeps an extra bottle of his Neurontin, too. If he stopped taking it suddenly he could have seizures!

Anyway, it's a nice day. Since tomorrow will be a lot of running around and little if no nap, I plan to be kind to myself today.

I took some pumpkin pudding to work - TASTY. I really enjoyed it when I got hungry. No one wanted a bite except me... good!

[Houston Heather]

This is the procedure Ron will have done:
http://www.thehandcenter.com/patient...ents/16-17.pdf

WARNING! ICKY SURGERY PHOTOS!

[skeopple]

It's amazing how surgery procedures have improved as far as joints, etc. Ron will have awhile to heal but sounds like a great solution. Knowing you, you will be there with him as his advocate. That's great because we all know that it's necessary. YOUR workload will increase during his healing time,but we know you can do it.

Have a blessed day, Heather.

[Houston Heather]

Turns out he has CARPAL TUNNEL in addition to the arthritis. The hand surgeon is convinced that carpal tunnel surgery (much shorter recovery and Ron can basically go straight back to work after surgery) is the answer.

Ron will get the carpal tunnel surgery first, in a few weeks to a month, and then if it doesn't help with the pain, weakness, numbness, he will have the joint replacement.

I'm happy. I'm also really beat... more later.

[Houston Heather]

Today was not an easy day.

Let me paint a picture for you. Imagine you are strapped into a roller coaster. It in addition to hairpin turns, it goes up, down and sideways, sometimes all at once.

That was my mood today: "Mixed". Every day's a battle with my illness and today I was so tired of fighting.

It seems like everytime I get complacent and say "I've got this bipolar thing nailed", then it comes along and nails ME. ACK. Ack. Ack. I alternated between horrible hopeless depression and this wired up little-kid-on-too-much-sugar-and-caffeine hyper feeling... I just wanted to kick myself in the head, repeatedly, to make it stop!

Oh, it was awful... up down and sideways. I was horribly irritable to Ron, and after an hour at work realized I DESPERATELY needed another lithium tablet. I dug through my bag frantically, chugged a shake, and took my pill. Then I went outside to help Ron, fill vending machines, and make people happy.

Today was a good case of "Fake it 'till you make it". One guy did kind of piss me off. I had given him a 5 pound tub of chocolate pb whey protein. I asked someone to tell him to come by, and he didn't for 2 weeks. Finally, the first guy I told said "I'll take it to him". I brought it out of the stockroom. "Ooh!" I told him if he wanted some, they could share it. After all, guy #2 is the only one who ever bothered to show up.

Guy #2 told me that guy #1 wasn't sharing I told him if #1 wouldn't share, then to tell him I wanted it back. That was over a week ago.

FINALLY guy #1 comes by. How are you doing. I'm having a horrible day... my mood is out of control like a runaway car with no brakes or steering, but you don't want to hear that. Oh, I'm fine, how about you. I told him to share. Or I'd have Ron spank them both.

He asked me again how things were, I could tell he wasn't really listening so I said "My cat died". "That's GREAT!" he replied. Then he left.

It was just. That kind. Of day.

I felt human again by the time the customers came in. Mr. Orange Crush and a Peanut Bar came by right as I was pulling the cold orange soda bottles out of the ice bath I'd prepared half an hour ago. They were COLD. He lit up.

"I fixed 'em just for you!" He grinned. "Thank you!" handed off a dollar, I handed him a cold soda, and off he went to dial up his peanut bar out of the snack food vendor. Someone else wanted change so I closed up the machine and did it.

Ron told me later he was HIGHLY impressed. Cool. He isn't so outgoing these days, so I pickup on the customer service. I love spoiling people. I want everyone to walk away from our machines feeling special.

I still felt pretty crappy. Our milk delivery arrived and I got it, and helped Ron out some more. Lots of helping Ron today. I did finally manage to get some crackers and candy bars (I am a Sugar Pimp, a phrase which Ron loves) into the snack machines so they look GOOD.

Finally, time to go. Wouldn't you know I finally got hungry then? I heated up the frozen omlette I'd brought and ate it quickly.

When I got outside, the driver was trying to tell us he didn't have room for 2 of us. I looked. A 400 pound woman in the backseat of a minivan, with her 300 pound friend. I am being conservative here. I put my purse in the vehicle (legally, they can't touch your purse) and insisted we wait on Ron before the driver left. I told him I'd MAKE Ron fit, but we had to get to the doctor. Poor Ron has a skinny butt. He went in the back and barely fit... I swear we almost had to get a shoehorn.

The driver kept asking me about my diet... not very subtle, buddy. "How much weight you lost?" I'd tell him "What do you eat?" I told him. Oh, well, it's out there if they want it.

Sadly, the other client was going to an eye clinic. If life is bad with mobility issues at 400 pounds, it's a lot worse when you add blind to the equation. That's why I said no to the pastry case later on in the day...

We got to the doctor's office and hour and a half early. Welcome to the wonderful world of paratransit. Ron told me not to bring his pillow. I did. Since he ended up sitting on it for 3 hours he was really glad to have it.

I told Ron I'd walk over to the strip mall and get us something to eat. He gave me some money. I called him from the Subway "Do you want anything?" He got a meatball thing, some chips, and a sugarfree lemonade that he said was very good. I went to Starbucks, said NO to the pastries (recalling the client), and got a heavy whipping cream thing.

I came back and gave Ron his food. Half an hour down. He ate his food, I knitted, and we both listened to music. Another half hour. I took Ron to the bathroom, and went myself. 10 minutes.

OK, we went into the doctor's office (until this point we were out in the lobby of the building). No paperwork this time, Ron is in the system.

We went in the back. More sitting around in the exam room. Assistant comes in and gets Ron's info. Tingly, burning, weakness, shooting pains from here. Doctor comes in "Hi Buddy!", exam, Ron screams a few times, OK - you have carpal tunnel!

Doc schedules nerve testing (I told Ron "The thing with the electrified needle" - how sad that he knows this!), in 2 weeks. Consult a day later to discuss results. Doc wants to operate on Carpal Tunnel first, because that's most of Ron's pain right there. He says he can operate later on, on the thumb joint, if Ron needs it.

I'm all for that. Carpal tunnel - the laproscopic procedure, he can lift 2-3 pounds (pretty much everything he lifts is about one pound, so Ron can work as usual) right away, and back to normal (or as normal as we get ) in a week.

Awesome. That's a lot better than the other procedure, which Ron may still need, but hopefully not for a long time.

After we got home, I posted, I dug up some knitting books and read them for a while, trying to relax my brain... kind of wired... I needed to nap, I got up and WHACK - there's the lithium.

I felt incredibly groggy right away and lay down. Fell asleep quickly and I had a good hour nap.

My mood is finally OK. Thank you, Jesus.

I'm feeling lazy tonight - I think I'll just have a protein shake and some bacon for dinner. I'm not feeling inspired.

Today was really taxing.

[Houston Heather]

I had some nightmares last night.

In the middle of the worst of them, Bubba jumped on me, in bed, purring. I petted him for a bit and he moved off. I got up, used the bathroom, and came back. He was curled up at the foot of my bed!

I gave him some treats, and went back to sleep. I slept great.

When I woke up, he was still there.

[Houston Heather]

Taking 600 mg of lithium, I had symptoms.

Taking 900 mg, I get toxic. Today I've been staggering around, almost falling over, dropping everything I touch... good thing I don't have a baby! Sorry, kid.

All I have, pretty much, are extended release 300 mg tablets. I can't cut them.

I called my doc and asked him to call in some 150s. I can take them at lunch, whack my symptoms, and have manageable side effects. I talked to his assistant. Poor thing - "You went up to THREE?" I told her, I do this everytime I cycle, Doc is cool with it (calls me "A very smart woman" etc.), can I please get some 150s so I can function?

All we did today was Walmart and home. Good thing, I"m not real functional today. We have soem fun planned tomorrow, though. I an (am) not correcting my typos to demonstrate my lef(vel) of functioning.

Anyway, at Walmart I kept dropping stuff. I only spent $11 on myself, some smoked sardines (yum(), some splenda-se... sweetened iced tea, etc.

I got Ron one of those ready to eat meals, a jambalaya thing. When I was putting it up in the disaster kit, I saw some old lithium carbonate capsules. 300 mg. I took the capsule, opened it up, and put half the powder in a glass of water. BOY, it tastes bad. Then I closed it up, saved the other "half" for tomorrow, and ate something so I wouldn't get sick.

Yay. I got (about) 150 mg for lunch, so I'll be OK moodwise but not the staggering idiot I am right now. :,a I don't want others to suffer due to my mood, nd - and I don't want to suffer myself.

Ron found me cute. He was propping me up as I guided him. Now THAT'S funny.

Naptime.

[Houston Heather]

I had some sardines for lunch, don't know if I mentioned that, and took my nap. I woke up around 3.

I'd heard Fed Ex make my delivery. Mmm. The berry flavor protein powder I got is SO GOOD. It actually does mix pretty easily. I had some Calcium Caseinate powder, the only way to get that to mix is by using my blender.

I had some fun in the garden, finally felt normal. I keep dropping things (I had to play antidepressant pickup while I was doing my pills for next week). Fortunately I own durable items.

It was a good day off. I was really worried I'd feel "ripped off" with things the way they are, too tired to do much, but don't dare reduce my lithium again... but I feel good - satisfied.

Everyone has multiple crappy things going on in their lives... this is just one of mine.

I harvested some lettuce and spicy greens - WHOO! Spicy indeed! It made for a very exciting salad, and I have enough to make Ron one, too. If he doesn't want it I'll give to Mike tomorrow. He loves homegrown greens and veggies.

Ron woke up, gotta go...

[Houston Heather]

Ron said "NO thanks" to salad.

Today was and was not fun. Woke up, horrible migraine. It must have started around 1 AM because it died around 1 PM. Violently ill, but we needed to go to work.

I wasn't puking - YET - so all I took were some asprin and a phenergan tablet. The phenergan raises my lithium levels, so I don't get symptoms generally until I can take my lithium.

Boy, if I had a dollar for everytime I typed the word lithium I could pay off my mortgage! Anyway, no breakfast at all, and I took an ice bag with us.

We went to Sam's Club. We sell some muffins that we purchase there - very good. I won't describe them because that would be mean, and I'll also only say that I bought 2 boxes of candy, again unspecified.

We got a good ride to work, but the guy goes a little nuts with the air freshener. When I have a migraine, strong smells make it worse. Oh, not fun.

Me and the ice bag had a little quality time in the stockroom when I got to work, curled up on the folding chaise lounge - Ron has the obvious disabilities, but I'm the one who ends up using it due to migraines!

So. Ron stocked and did what he could, when I felt like I'd live I did what I could. Sales are DEAD. It is very sad to open up your #1 best seller machine (we call it soda 1) and it is almost completely full. I did get some crackers and trail mix packets stocked, I don't sell all crap, just mostly crap.

Ron got a little money for lunch and Chuck showed up. I would never, ever tell him, but he was wearing aftershave today! Remember what I said about fragrance and migraines? OH! Que dolor! (The pain!) We had fun anyway.

We went to Cracker Barrel and Chuck suggested that Ron try a kid's meal. It was great for him, AND we saved money. I got my usual chicken thing, Chuck got his beef thing, and we all had a good time.

Ron ordered extra biscuits and jelly and I buttered and jellied them up before I ate my food. He still has some in the fridge.

I decided I wanted a treat! I ordered some sugarfree apple pie with sugarfree icecream. After I ate it, the migraine departed I couldn't say why... but I won't complain. I needed to catch up with my lithium, so I took 2 tablets at lunch.

I'm willing to put up with a small gain and/or bloat. It was worth it, in my opinion.

After eating, we ran a couple of errands, and Chuck took us home. He even came in the house and said "Hi" to Bubba. My double-lithium caught up with me and I crashed into bed and slept for 3 hours.

I think I'll have a protein shake for dinner... something easy.

Tomorrow we go to work, Starbucks (I will run 2 errands within walking distance of the Starbucks, and get a heavy whipping cream thing in the bargain!), and home.

I didn't get any gardening done today - but if I'd gone out in the hot sun with a migraine... it would be bad. Like I've said, everyone's got problems.

Thank God, nowadays mine are mainly physical.

[skeopple]

Darn migraines! I wish I could fix that for you. I got them until I had my hysterectomy so I'm pretty sure they were due to hormones. Our DIL gets them now. My younger brother still gets them.
Hoping you feel great the rest of this day.

It sounds like your outing for lunch was pretty fun, especially the good company and sugar-free dessert!

[Houston Heather]

Today wasn't a bad day as days go, but a pretty bad evening.

I'm just tired of having "mental illness", brain damage, and migraines. I'm tired of watching my husband struggle to get to the bathroom.

Bubba was pretty awesome. He slept with me during my inevitable, better-get-it nap.

Some neighbors got a puppy. Part of their fence and mine overlap, and the wood is brittle. The dog had a fine time licking my hand as I sweet talked it. The garden looks good, I need to start harvesting the mustard greens.

I'm just battling a depression. I get tired of it, sometimes I want OUT.

Then I think, if I could get a break from mental illness, and had to go back to it, I'd be in really bad shape. At least I know nothing else, either "pretty well controlled", "not as well controlled", or "very bad shape".

I'm "OK" - I'll live, I'm just frustrated today. I don't want to be subject to electrical cracklings of my brain... at the whim of neurotrasmitters. But, that's my lot.

I'm sure Ron doesn't want to have his baggage, either.

I made some rather dumb, daring food choices tonight. I hope I don't regret them tomorrow. If I don't, I'll be going out to do something fun, God only knows what.

It will be nice weather, as opposed to my last couple days out.

[Houston Heather]

Well, no headache... a pretty good night's sleep. It's unusual for me to wake up depressed but I did.

I lost my baby. It's normal to be depressed. I would be a pretty cold person if I could walk away from Frosty's still-warm body and say "Oh, well".

I'm having to force myself to do things I like. I plan to do some gardening, take a shower, and then go out.

I've already written a passionate defense of my Postal Workers - USPS is planning cuts, and everyone seems to act like all postal workers are lazy, surly, incompotent hacks. I disagree.

Anyway, a lot of ignorant and angry people out there who want to dump on "MY" people. Once I get dressed, garden time.

I plan to plant the jasmine and violets out front. Clean up, maybe go to the garden center, possibly get some coconut oil (?) - eat something someone else cooked... and have fun.

[skeopple]

Yes, Heather. Your present depression is very normal for what you have lost. But most people aren't smart enough to force themselves to do things they enjoy. That's a great way to get "on the other side" of depression.........and heal.

So, where does one mail a letter for support of the USPS workers?

No way could I garden today. We were supposed to get rain yesterday but it snowd about 2 inches in half an hour. It was beautiful (for December) but it's the end of March. It is melting quickly today but we are all ready for spring. Cabin fever is rampent.

Enjoy your day, Heather. We have a birthday party to attend, for our nieces 4 year old twin boys so it will be a wild afternoon.

[Houston Heather]

Snow! Ack!

I grew up in Northern Virginia and I remember all the snow and ice, and I don't miss it. Today it's sunny and 80's. I had to come inside and take cool air breaks, I got overheated.

I dug up all the unwanted stuff, put in good edging, and dug in about 11 gallons worth of soil amendments. Then I planted the violets, impatiens, and jasmine. The jasmine is blooming, along with some white freesias already in the garden bed, so it was very pretty and fragrant.

The neighbor asked me today if the puppy in his yard belonged to me! Apparently, his son brought home the dog for spring break and didn't tell his parents. Ooops. It's a cutie, but persistent. I keep dog treats in the house - just the kind of person I am, and treat the other neighbor dog regularly. I gave this one a few treats, also, so now he wants to come in my yard and love on me. It's cute, but no way would I have a pit bull.

I just blog about my postal workers, and comment on my chron.com website (I am HeatherB) - you can comment on the news articles. One of my "friends" is from Lubbock, about as far away from Houston as you can get - several hundred miles. I think it's a shame they have a lousy reputation, because every single one I know is a hard and dedicated worker.

After Ron's accident, when his boss was hemming and hawing about actually giving us Ron's money, so we could pay our bills (and Ron had a place to go home to), my family helped out with the immediate bills. When I confided in a freind (also a postal worker) about the problems we were having with "Lee", they took up a collection. It was as much as I make in about 4 months. We were shocked and touched, we NEEDED that money. I was able to use the money to buy his prescriptions, pay the bills, rent a wheelchair, (we lived off it for months), etc. 2 months after Ron's accident, his boss finally decided to "help us out" by doing what should have been done to begin with... so yeah, I'm very fond of my postal workers!

Time to go have more fun.

[Snowman]

YA HEATHER, Glad your having fun!!

[Houston Heather]

Yup, I actually had a good day. I took my cart and knitting. First stop, McD's. I ate 3 bunless double cheeseburgers, unsweetened iced tea, and a lithium tablet. I had to provide my own lithium. It's a constant amazement to me, that when my moods are cycling, I'm accelerating into something I can't control, and I feel like I'm in a speeding car with no steering or brakes, that the lithium WORKS every time. Every single day, I take it and my moods are better. I'm constantly awed. Awesome.

Anyway, I was smart enough to take one with my lunch. I always carry lithium tablets, wherever I go.

It was a nice day as I mentioned so I waited for the other bus. When I saw it coming I put up my knitting (I brought it) poured my tea on some tired looking plants, and threw away my empty cup in the thoughtfully provided trash can. I got on the bus with my cart (I've never had a single problem except that one driver) and sat down. I asked her to please let me off near the big street, and we decided to go for the north stop.

It was a lot more walking, next time I know to take the south stop, but I didn't mind. I had considered buying myself a diet lime coke - I love the things, but didn't have time at the other bus stop. I had time now.

The clerk asked me if I wanted to buy gas and I told him "My cart runs on diet sodas, and it gets great mileage!" He chuckled.

I rolled over to the sporting goods store. They often have cute summer hats. I found some great ones, I'll put up a photo later, only $5 each. I got two. They're both straw. One has red trim, headband, and chin strap (it is often windy in Houston). The other one is similar, but black. I liked the black one so much I got rid of my dorky hat and put on the black one.

I got some cute ribbon roses at a Dollar store years ago. I put them on my pink hat (I have a similar hat to the ones I bought today, in pink). It has cream and pink roses on the hatband. It's adorable and fun, very much my style. I had a red one still around... in a drawer, which has gone onto the red hat.

I knew my Walmart had the clip on ribbon roses, too, so I figured Michael's craft store did, too. Nope. Oh, well.

It was about 4:30 and I wanted to be home by 7. When you factor in the buses, that meant I'd better start thinking about getting back.

I went to my Starbucks, and had my heavy whipping cream thing. I did my knitting as I sipped it. Very nice. Then grocery store, where I got Ron some dinners.

I also got more doggy treats, bone shaped ones this time. 5 different flavors. The bacon is made with bacon grease. "Barky" (my usual neighbor dog) loved them and daintily took each from my fingers as I pushed them through the knothole in our fence.

I didn't see the puppy but I put some treats over the fence anyway. I figured, if he's hungry (and he seemed so), he'll be glad for those treats when they put him out. If he isn't hungry, he can eat the treats or leave them.

They were a huge hit with Barky, I'm glad I got them. Only $2 and he was so happy! Oh, I got loved to death, my fingers got a serious licking. My kind of dog, all the fun, no work.

Many of my neighbors do this with my cat. They ask me if I feed him, too. I really respect them, it's obvious he was a shelter mutt and fixed. They treat him well and I like working in my garden, listening to Mom and the kids playing with the dog.

We have tall wooden fences, for privacy. No one knows you're out in your yard unless you make racket, or a board falls off (what happened with the guy this morning, a board fell off).

While I was at the store, I indulged myself and bought some British style (more assertive flavor) black tea - decaf. I'm drinking it now and I like it a lot. I'd buy more.

I got Ron some Jambalaya dinners - verdict: Not as good as the red beans and rice.

Then I came home. While at the bus stop, I called Mom and Dad for our weekly chat. They enjoyed the excitement of the commute home - I'm the only family member who has to ride the bus.

For them, riding the bus is probably as implausible as the concept, for me, of getting in my car and driving somewhere. We each think our thing is not a big deal, but the other is.

Anyway, I talked to them all the way home, they're doing well. Dad's worried I'm eating too much fat. My cholesterol is great, so I'm not.

I came home and gave Barky all 5 flavors of doggie treat. He likes them all equally. And I've got a big box so we'll have some fun.

Bubba's in my computer window, making noise now and then. He's a good kitty, and he knows he is the only pet until he decides otherwise. It seems the least I can do.

For a while, we considered adopting a full grown pit bull (we didn't know!), then it was a younger dog (he and Frosty fought a lot, so bye bye - back to the guy who was fostering him), then last year it was a black kitten - female. Bubba didn't mind her but Frosty, again, hid under the bed and snarled at her everytime she got close.

She had bladder problems, urinating on Ron's clothes as he wore them... sorry kitty.

I figure, Bubba brought us Frosty, he'll do a good job picking out another pet if he decides we need one.