Heather Shrinks in Houston! - Page 32

Houston Heather · 03-08-2009, 10:10 AM

Bladder stone - $900. Keeping him overnight.

I miss my baby.

skeopple · 03-08-2009, 10:24 AM

Oh no, Heather. I feel so bad for you. I hope he'll be okay. You take care of yourself and try not to worry. The vet will take good care of the problem. Do they operate or dissolve them? Or medication? Keep us posted please.

Houston Heather · 03-08-2009, 10:26 AM

Kidney failure. They have to put him down.

skeopple · 03-08-2009, 10:34 AM

H.E.A.T.H.E.R...........I don't know what to say. Take heart that Frosty had a wonderful life with all the love you and Ron gave him. Vice versa. And you have lots of pictures. love ya Heather. take care.

Snowman · 03-08-2009, 11:52 AM

Heather ~ {{{HUGS}}} I can't imagine how you must feel right now, but take care of yourself!!

Houston Heather · 03-08-2009, 11:57 AM

I know I did the right thing, absolutely. His bloodwork was terrible, he was diabetic, kidney and liver failure.

I shook the doctors hand and thanked him, telling him "I know this is the worst part of your job, telling people bad news, and thank you for being so kind." I also found some candy and took it in for the staff, thanking them for their kindness.

They made Frosty comfortable and brought him in. He laid on the table and we petted him and said our goodbyes. I cried. Ron cried too. Then the doctor came in and gave him a series of shots, and he passed. His tail was waving as I petted him and it slowly stopped moving. I talked to the doctor and thanked him as he showed me the test results and explained what would be mailed.

Do I have any regrets? No. Do I wonder if I did the right thing? No. I have always said, if my babies are suffering and I can't help them, I'm going to let them go. Frosty loved his treats, he was addicted to them. He didn't want any treats last night - that was a very bad sign.

I could have done nothing for Frosty if I brought him in earlier, and I don't think I made any mistakes by taking him in when I did. He was dying, plain and simple.

Thanks to us, he had a painless and peaceful "graduation". He's in my mother's lap right now, eating heavenly cat treats. He's not hurting.

I got 5 awesome years with a wonderful cat. I'll miss him.

Now I'm going to go nurse the migraine I woke up with.

Houston Heather · 03-08-2009, 03:28 PM

A link to a Frosty slideshow.

You really get a good feel for his life.

RIP, Frosty

It's a good link. I told Ron I would be doing this today.

Oh, I miss him.

I know he's up in heaven, being spoiled rotten by all my loved ones, but OH, I MISS HIM.

pennylovesdarren · 03-08-2009, 04:56 PM

Heather

Houston Heather · 03-08-2009, 06:16 PM

It's hard opening cabinets. Everytime I'd open a cabinet, he'd run in begging, thinking I was giving him kitty tuna.

I am DEFINITELY going up on my lithium. Ron's planned a schedule for tomorrow that looks like a marathon, one thing after the other. He's holding it in but I know it's going to hit him.

I did drag myself out to my garden and water everyone, it's been hot and windy. I still have to cook some meat and then we get up at 4 AM tomorrow, so an early bedtime.

KristenT · 03-08-2009, 06:57 PM

skeopple · 03-08-2009, 07:00 PM

I'm still here, Heather, thinking of you, Ron, and your loss today.

((Hugs.))

Houston Heather · 03-08-2009, 07:04 PM

Thank you.

It's so quiet without him.

skeopple · 03-08-2009, 07:09 PM

I know that, Heather. Our two kids were in their teens when we had to let the vet put our doggie down. Kidney failure. Terrible. He was quite the loyal buddy to each of us.

Good news: We never forget those loving, loyal pets.
Bad news: We never forget those loving, loyal pets.

Take care. Give Ron an extra hug tonight.

Houston Heather · 03-09-2009, 10:06 AM

Yeah.

Bubba's been awfully cuddly for Bubba - he's no Frosty but he's cute. Last night I had to cook up some meat or throw it out today, and Bubba begged for beef. He got in my bed when I went to bed, and walked around until I settled. Then he left.

I was dreading coming home from work, because Frosty always greeted me. Bubba came out of his cat door in the garage as soon as the Metro van pulled up and pranced around in the driveway. When we came in the house, he sat in the garage and watched us through the cat door.

When I held up his can of treats, he ran in and begged for treats, then visited with Ron when Ron went into his room. Now he's out again, having fun.

Without a doubt, Frosty was the best cat ever, and my personal favorite cat. We're going to miss him.

I took an extra lithium when I ate after work, so I'm going to lay down now. I had bad dreams last night.

skeopple · 03-09-2009, 01:04 PM

I've been wondering how you guys are doing today. How's Ron handling it? Bubba must be pretty puzzled right now.

Take a good nap, Heather. Talk to ya later.

dee730 · 03-09-2009, 02:08 PM

Heather
just wanted to let you know that I am so sorry about your kitty
dee

Houston Heather · 03-09-2009, 02:31 PM

Thank you, Dee.

Bubba knew it was coming. He came out to meet us today when we came home, and slept on my dresser during my nap. He's interacting with me more, but he's no Frosty. Bubba's idea of a cuddle is lying in the doorway of the computer room while I'm blogging, or lying on my dresser while I sleep.

It's better than no cat affection...

but Frosty was the kind of cat who loved to sleep next to my pillow and lie in our laps for hours when awake. I'm sure we'll get another cat eventually, but there was only one Frosty.

Ron isn't talking about it much but I know he's hurting, too. We were talking about Frosty today and remarking what a fiesty little devil he was. He loved to play a game where he'd hide in the hole on the kitty condo, leap out, and attack Ron's hand (mostly, a very gentle pounce). Occasionally, he'd get so carried away he'd draw blood. And he was an OLD MAN!

We both agreed we couldn't have handled him as a kitten, if that's how he was as a geezer.

I ate a little bit of hash browns today, but I won't use this as an excuse to go off plan, binging. I'd get migraines, and fat again. I don't want that.

I wore my new size 10 bermuda shorts and they fit great, today. I want to keep wearing them comfortably.

I read today that the average cat lives to be 14, so I don't think we could have done anything differently. Frosty was "At least 13" by vet estimate.

Houston Heather · 03-09-2009, 06:09 PM

Bubba laid on my feet while I watched TV - that's his version of getting in my lap. Frosty would have been in my lap.

I told Ron, today, I feel as if Bubba really loves me. He knows I'm hurting and he's doing what he can to help. I gave him some cube steak (unsalted) when I fixed my dinner.

The hashbrowns I ate are messing me up - big time cravings! Ugh.

Oh, and I found the perfect cat. If I were ready, and Bubba liked girl cats, I'd want to meet her:

Look at that perfect cattitude! She is PISSED!

They named her "Cuddles"

I can tell she is growling at the camera, probably hissed, and after the photo was taken tried to take someone's hand off.

Bad kitty!

Houston Heather · 03-10-2009, 02:06 PM

I had a hard time this morning, I'm used to waking up to Frosty, having Frosty in my lap as I watch the morning news, giving Frosty his morning can of tuna cat food...

I went to work and cried a little in the stockroom. I miss him so much. I did everything I needed to do and I talked to some really nice people.

We just did work and home today - sales were pretty quiet so Ron and I got it all done and I had time to make up our food order. We have to get up at 2 AM on Friday. I always found it funny to watch the cats asleep while we went off to work.

Ron agreed it would be easier to give me Thursday off, since that's when Chuck and I are running our errand, so we work a few hours tomorrow. I will get paid.

Bubba can't eat the big cans of tuna cat food on his own, or he doesn't like to. At any rate, I'm going to hunt up some smaller cans of beef cat food. He loves beef. Too bad they don't have any pork flavors. He loves pork chops.

If/when Bubba brings home his new buddy, we have the tuna. So, tomorrow, work, bank, Walmart (Ron needs food, too).

Today I'm going out into the garden, even though I don't feel like it, to do some weeding and mulching. I have a lot of memories of Frosty out in the garden.

I don't regret adopting him, and I don't regret my choice to let him go. I'm sorry I only had 4.5 years, but I am very grateful that I did have them.

I've been crying a lot but who wouldn't?

Houston Heather · 03-10-2009, 04:28 PM

I worked my butt off out in the garden.

A tip, if you ever have to put down a pet and they mail you the final medical report, don't read it. It was heartbreaking. I keep wondering if I could have done anything.

But, as Ron reminds me, he was a very old man. It's just so lonely without him.

I have eaten cleanly today, that's good. I have no idea where Bubba is

, but that's Bubba, always off doing his own thing.

I plan to clean up the front garden bed, by the front door, and make a little tribute garden to Frosty. I think he'd like that.

I'm hungry but I don't feel like eating. I'm going to go force myself to eat something so I can take my pills.

Houston Heather · 03-10-2009, 06:09 PM

I did some research. Cat kidney failure is awful - a slow and horrible decline. I'm glad he had it happen quickly.

I am looking into creating a little memorial garden for Frosty. I plan to use white flowered plants, next to the house, with some fragrant plants.

I already have a mint and a lemon balm (Frosty liked to sit on my lemon balm) out front, with some white-flowered bulbs. The spot is shady, so I pulled out the sick rosebush and canned it - now I can put in pretty white-flowered plants that will be happy.

I plan to do some impatiens and maybe some jasmine on the lattice. That would be lovely and so fragrant. I think it's a good tribute to him. It'll keep me busy. I need to stay active or I will fall into the black pit from hell (depression).

Ron told me today that he's very proud of me for making the loving choice for Frosty, and handling it as well as I have. When I told him I immediately went up on my lithium, he was very impressed. He's a good man.

He is very understanding when I come in, put my head on his shoulder, and tell him how much I miss my baby. Speaking of babies, Bubba helped me during dinner.

I heated up a cube steak and cut him a few bites. He got up on the table and investigated his steak, then sat down and twitched his tail over my plate full of cut-up-cheese. Once it had a firm dusting of cat hair, he moved.

I had to clean each bite before eating it. Then he licked the butter residue out of the empty green bean bowl.

Him's a silly boy.

He made me laugh, and he let me kiss and pet him as he sat regally on the table. He knows I need a little TLC and he's looking out for me.

Houston Heather · 03-10-2009, 07:55 PM

I'm glad I'm already doing everything in my power to battle depression (doing things I love, resting, eating properly, exercise, staying busy, etc.).

Tonight I noted the "shower sign" - taking a shower just seemed to be a huge, insurmountable, task. That's my warning for depression. Then I noticed an upset stomach a while later - another sign.

Of course I'm depressed, my cat died. I'm already doing everything I can to battle it, I just have to ride it out. I won't let this sabatoge my life or my WOE.

I'm glad I have a busy day planned tomorrow.

skeopple · 03-10-2009, 08:06 PM

Plus, Frosty would not want you to be depressed. He loved you.

Animals know how we feel, don't they? Bubba is showing you that now.

I'm so happy that you know how to control yourself medication wise. Please try to get some restful sleep so you can enjoy your busy day tomorrow! love ya.

Houston Heather · 03-11-2009, 04:11 PM

Thanks Sharon. This is tougher than just a "regular" bipolar depression because this one has cause. I haven't been this bad since I found out my mother died.

Bubba has been precious. I was going to put up a picture of him but I can't find my camera. Probably a good thing - Frosty was a star on my camera.

At any rate, Bubba's been doing some cute things. Going to bed is very hard for me, so he jumps into the bed, if he's not already in it, and allows me to love him. Petting mainly. No hugs like Frosty used...

AGH. Anyway, I pet him as much as I want (not typical Bubba) and give him some treats, which he gobbles down greedily. He gets to excited about his treats he leaves big drool puddles on my sheet. A cat.

In the morning, if he's not in the house he comes in with a loud CLICK-CLICK of the cat door and struts over to me for unlimited petting and talking. Afterwards, I generally give him either treats or canned food.

Frosty was very into the tuna flavor, Bubba doesn't finish it. So today I got him some Fancy Feast Tender Beef Feast. First ingredient, beef. He loves it. He was so intent on his feast he literally licked the plate across the room. I feed "num-nums" on disposable styrofoam plates, so I can throw them away after they're done. I've been seeing a lot of jays, too. Blue jays and Gray Jays. One's looking in my window right now.

I'm holding up pretty well food-wise. No bad foods, eating enough calories (always a big issue 'cause I lose my appetite when depressed), got more lithium today at Walmart, took it, I'm eating a small snack of cut-up cheese now. I bought lots of "Oh, yummy" lowcarb foods, stuff that is easy and enjoyable. Chappell Hill garlic sausage - oh, it's divine - I just cook it in my magic iron skillet. I got bulk ground sausage - the sausage casseroles I make from that are pretty good, plenty of organic eggs, cheese, etc. I also got 2 kinds of bacon, regular and peppered. The peppered is a Walmart brand, but looks very promising. I got lots of diet soda, because I'm hurting dhamnit and I want some kind of "treat". I will pay for this with horrible cramps in a few weeks, but I'm willing to pay for it.

My weight was down to 170 today. I was glad I didn't stay home today, even though pretty much all our trips were total screw-ups. I encountered some very odd people today, too. A reminder to take my pills? That's how I took it. Literally.

Our rides were awful and we didn't get home until after 2. I took a good nap and woke up after about an hour. I went out and checked on my plants - pretty sneaky of God to send a cold snap. He knows I'll be out there covering and uncovering my plants. The cucumbers and squash sprouted, and I put caps on them (milk jugs with the bottom cut out). I also wrapped up my tomatoes. I didn't put my eggplant and peppers into the ground just yet ('cause I knew we'd get at least ONE cold snap, and I'm lacking space), I potted them up in clay pots. I keep the pots on a plastic tray like you'd get at a fast food restaurant. I brought the tray in and put them under my plant lights.

It keeps me busy, which is important. I got paid today too. Horrible to be depressed at Walmart with $400 in your pocket. Awful.

Tomorrow our dear buddy Chuck will take me to Home Depot to buy soil amendments, like cow manure and shredded pine bark mulch. That'll keep me busy too.

Walmart didn't have any good plants for the Frosty garden (white flowers) so I'll look at Home Depot tomorrow - I'm looking for a jasmine and some impatiens. I'll train the jasmine up the trellis out front. The rain will make it easy to work the soil when I do find the right plants.

I'm staying busy but I'm hurting. I don't regret knowing him. If Bubba wants to bring home a new buddy, I'll love him (girl cats are too bossy for Bubba), even if he's an old man like Frosty was. Frosty was a wonderful cat and I'm glad I knew him, but I'm going to miss him for a long time.

Snowman · 03-11-2009, 04:51 PM

Stopping by to give you a BIG

.

Have fun tomorrow at Home Depot! I love the garden idea you are planning out front!

Keep your chin up, Ron needs you and we need you here too!

You gave Frosty a good life!!

Houston Heather · 03-11-2009, 06:47 PM

Ron ordered me a pizza - I ate the top and threw the crust away.

I am looking forward to tomorrow, I know I need to keep busy. Thanks for the

Tazcat · 03-11-2009, 07:11 PM

Heather you're doing the right things. It's a big loss and understandably shaken you. Frosty will live on in your heart - and you did the kindest thing you could for him.

Houston Heather · 03-11-2009, 07:36 PM

Yeah, kidney failure - it was grim.

He sure was happy at the end. I don't know what they gave him but it was the good stuff. He was feeling NO pain.

I'm going to take a rose-scented bubble bath. Bubba's home, and up on his dresser watching my bed. He's really helping.

skeopple · 03-11-2009, 08:12 PM

Hi Heather! I'm running by pretty late tonight. Just wanted to wish you blessings........

Houston Heather · 03-12-2009, 08:32 AM

Thank you! I can use the hugs!

I wore my black jeans today, and noticed white cat hair.

It's hard but I'm getting used to a routine without my little beggar. He was the biggest beggar in the world, and absolutely addicted to his treats.

Bubba's not as cuddly, but he let me pet him 4 times this morning. I was awake and lying in bed, missing Frosty who used to sleep with me, and I heard the pet door go "CLICK-CLICK" - it's a loud door. I squealed "Bubba!" and he came running in to me. We did some petting and a few treats, then I got up and gave him his Fancy Feast Tender Beef - his new favorite. Again, he got so excited he licked the plate across the room.

He came by to visit a few times, then he went outside.

I'm maintaining my weight and doing OK mood-wise. The weather's gotten really gloomy, dark, and cold. Some rain, too. It's depressing.

I fell over my chair getting ready to sit down so my lithium is right where it should be, considering. I managed to save myself but I'm clumsy enough that my lithium is at a good level. Sometimes I get ringing ears, too. I always look at side effects in the context of - I'd be dead. If I'm not dead it's an acceptable side effect. Last year I started losing my hair - pretty awful, but again, better than being sick or dead.

I took a nice bubble bath last night and watched Animal Cops Houston - it's good to remember there's a lot of desperate animals out there looking for homes. I'm going to wait a while and see if Bubba brings anyone home. He's been here for 6 years, he has a right to pick the next cat. He sure did great with the last one!

I'm trying to keep busy, doing things I love. I don't want to do anything right now. I just want to lie in bed all day and cry, but that's the worst thing I could do. I'd have a very hard time climbing out of that hole.

Chuck is coming by to take me to a garden center and get my soil amendments. He liked Frosty, too. Frosty was very shy but he wouldn't run when he saw Chuck - high praise! It'll do me good to get out of the house.

I plan to go to the garden center, but walk farther to the safer bus stop (ie - no drunken bums) afterwards. I can get myself a whipped cream thing from Starbucks, maybe a burger from a fast food place, and focus on things outside my head.

Tomorrow we have to get up at 3 AM to get our junk food delivery. Ack.

03-08-2009, 11:57 AM	#936
Houston Heather Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Houston Posts: 8,904 Gallery: Houston Heather Stats: 228/169/160 Waist: 42/31/31 WOE: Atkins 2002 Ongoing Weight Loss/pre maintenance Start Date: Feb 26, 2008 (second and last time)	I know I did the right thing, absolutely. His bloodwork was terrible, he was diabetic, kidney and liver failure. I shook the doctors hand and thanked him, telling him "I know this is the worst part of your job, telling people bad news, and thank you for being so kind." I also found some candy and took it in for the staff, thanking them for their kindness. They made Frosty comfortable and brought him in. He laid on the table and we petted him and said our goodbyes. I cried. Ron cried too. Then the doctor came in and gave him a series of shots, and he passed. His tail was waving as I petted him and it slowly stopped moving. I talked to the doctor and thanked him as he showed me the test results and explained what would be mailed. Do I have any regrets? No. Do I wonder if I did the right thing? No. I have always said, if my babies are suffering and I can't help them, I'm going to let them go. Frosty loved his treats, he was addicted to them. He didn't want any treats last night - that was a very bad sign. I could have done nothing for Frosty if I brought him in earlier, and I don't think I made any mistakes by taking him in when I did. He was dying, plain and simple. Thanks to us, he had a painless and peaceful "graduation". He's in my mother's lap right now, eating heavenly cat treats. He's not hurting. I got 5 awesome years with a wonderful cat. I'll miss him. Now I'm going to go nurse the migraine I woke up with. __________________ Don't just weigh, measure too! I'll be praying for you! (James 5:16) "From the beginning, you have made a refreshing jug of lemonade from all the lemons that life pitched your way."Zer "Look at you! You're a walking picnic!" - looking in my purse Learn about Bipolar Disorder Learn about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome I have tested thee in the furnace of affliction - Isaiah 48:10 Perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed 2 Cor. 4:9 Last edited by Houston Heather; 03-08-2009 at 12:00 PM..

03-08-2009, 03:28 PM	#937
Houston Heather Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Houston Posts: 8,904 Gallery: Houston Heather Stats: 228/169/160 Waist: 42/31/31 WOE: Atkins 2002 Ongoing Weight Loss/pre maintenance Start Date: Feb 26, 2008 (second and last time)	A link to a Frosty slideshow. You really get a good feel for his life. RIP, Frosty It's a good link. I told Ron I would be doing this today. Oh, I miss him. I know he's up in heaven, being spoiled rotten by all my loved ones, but OH, I MISS HIM. Last edited by Houston Heather; 03-08-2009 at 03:30 PM..

03-09-2009, 02:31 PM	#947
Houston Heather Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Houston Posts: 8,904 Gallery: Houston Heather Stats: 228/169/160 Waist: 42/31/31 WOE: Atkins 2002 Ongoing Weight Loss/pre maintenance Start Date: Feb 26, 2008 (second and last time)	Thank you, Dee. Bubba knew it was coming. He came out to meet us today when we came home, and slept on my dresser during my nap. He's interacting with me more, but he's no Frosty. Bubba's idea of a cuddle is lying in the doorway of the computer room while I'm blogging, or lying on my dresser while I sleep. It's better than no cat affection... but Frosty was the kind of cat who loved to sleep next to my pillow and lie in our laps for hours when awake. I'm sure we'll get another cat eventually, but there was only one Frosty. Ron isn't talking about it much but I know he's hurting, too. We were talking about Frosty today and remarking what a fiesty little devil he was. He loved to play a game where he'd hide in the hole on the kitty condo, leap out, and attack Ron's hand (mostly, a very gentle pounce). Occasionally, he'd get so carried away he'd draw blood. And he was an OLD MAN! We both agreed we couldn't have handled him as a kitten, if that's how he was as a geezer. I ate a little bit of hash browns today, but I won't use this as an excuse to go off plan, binging. I'd get migraines, and fat again. I don't want that. I wore my new size 10 bermuda shorts and they fit great, today. I want to keep wearing them comfortably. I read today that the average cat lives to be 14, so I don't think we could have done anything differently. Frosty was "At least 13" by vet estimate. Last edited by Houston Heather; 03-09-2009 at 02:33 PM..

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03-08-2009, 10:10 AM	#931
Houston Heather Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Houston Posts: 8,904 Gallery: Houston Heather Stats: 228/169/160 Waist: 42/31/31 WOE: Atkins 2002 Ongoing Weight Loss/pre maintenance Start Date: Feb 26, 2008 (second and last time)	Bladder stone - $900. Keeping him overnight. I miss my baby.

03-08-2009, 10:24 AM	#932
skeopple Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Northern Wisconsin Posts: 3,682 Gallery: skeopple Stats: 336/269/159 WOE: Low Carb, forever Start Date: 1/14/08	Oh no, Heather. I feel so bad for you. I hope he'll be okay. You take care of yourself and try not to worry. The vet will take good care of the problem. Do they operate or dissolve them? Or medication? Keep us posted please.

03-08-2009, 10:26 AM	#933
Houston Heather Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Houston Posts: 8,904 Gallery: Houston Heather Stats: 228/169/160 Waist: 42/31/31 WOE: Atkins 2002 Ongoing Weight Loss/pre maintenance Start Date: Feb 26, 2008 (second and last time)	Kidney failure. They have to put him down.

03-08-2009, 10:34 AM	#934
skeopple Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Northern Wisconsin Posts: 3,682 Gallery: skeopple Stats: 336/269/159 WOE: Low Carb, forever Start Date: 1/14/08	H.E.A.T.H.E.R...........I don't know what to say. Take heart that Frosty had a wonderful life with all the love you and Ron gave him. Vice versa. And you have lots of pictures. love ya Heather. take care.

03-08-2009, 11:52 AM	#935
Snowman Senior LCF Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Pittsburgh, PA Posts: 195 Gallery: Snowman WOE: LC Start Date: Feb. 2004	Heather ~ {{{HUGS}}} I can't imagine how you must feel right now, but take care of yourself!!

03-08-2009, 04:56 PM	#938
pennylovesdarren MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Pacific NW Posts: 1,501 Gallery: pennylovesdarren Stats: 258.5/228.5/189 5'10 WOE: LC	Heather

03-08-2009, 06:16 PM	#939
Houston Heather Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Houston Posts: 8,904 Gallery: Houston Heather Stats: 228/169/160 Waist: 42/31/31 WOE: Atkins 2002 Ongoing Weight Loss/pre maintenance Start Date: Feb 26, 2008 (second and last time)	It's hard opening cabinets. Everytime I'd open a cabinet, he'd run in begging, thinking I was giving him kitty tuna. I am DEFINITELY going up on my lithium. Ron's planned a schedule for tomorrow that looks like a marathon, one thing after the other. He's holding it in but I know it's going to hit him. I did drag myself out to my garden and water everyone, it's been hot and windy. I still have to cook some meat and then we get up at 4 AM tomorrow, so an early bedtime.

03-08-2009, 06:57 PM	#940
KristenT Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 3,034 Gallery: KristenT WOE: Atkins Start Date: August 15 2005, restarted 12/31/07

03-08-2009, 07:00 PM	#941
skeopple Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Northern Wisconsin Posts: 3,682 Gallery: skeopple Stats: 336/269/159 WOE: Low Carb, forever Start Date: 1/14/08	I'm still here, Heather, thinking of you, Ron, and your loss today. ((Hugs.))

03-08-2009, 07:04 PM	#942
Houston Heather Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Houston Posts: 8,904 Gallery: Houston Heather Stats: 228/169/160 Waist: 42/31/31 WOE: Atkins 2002 Ongoing Weight Loss/pre maintenance Start Date: Feb 26, 2008 (second and last time)	Thank you. It's so quiet without him.

03-08-2009, 07:09 PM	#943
skeopple Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Northern Wisconsin Posts: 3,682 Gallery: skeopple Stats: 336/269/159 WOE: Low Carb, forever Start Date: 1/14/08	I know that, Heather. Our two kids were in their teens when we had to let the vet put our doggie down. Kidney failure. Terrible. He was quite the loyal buddy to each of us. Good news: We never forget those loving, loyal pets. Bad news: We never forget those loving, loyal pets. Take care. Give Ron an extra hug tonight.

03-09-2009, 10:06 AM	#944
Houston Heather Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Houston Posts: 8,904 Gallery: Houston Heather Stats: 228/169/160 Waist: 42/31/31 WOE: Atkins 2002 Ongoing Weight Loss/pre maintenance Start Date: Feb 26, 2008 (second and last time)	Yeah. Bubba's been awfully cuddly for Bubba - he's no Frosty but he's cute. Last night I had to cook up some meat or throw it out today, and Bubba begged for beef. He got in my bed when I went to bed, and walked around until I settled. Then he left. I was dreading coming home from work, because Frosty always greeted me. Bubba came out of his cat door in the garage as soon as the Metro van pulled up and pranced around in the driveway. When we came in the house, he sat in the garage and watched us through the cat door. When I held up his can of treats, he ran in and begged for treats, then visited with Ron when Ron went into his room. Now he's out again, having fun. Without a doubt, Frosty was the best cat ever, and my personal favorite cat. We're going to miss him. I took an extra lithium when I ate after work, so I'm going to lay down now. I had bad dreams last night.

03-09-2009, 01:04 PM	#945
skeopple Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Northern Wisconsin Posts: 3,682 Gallery: skeopple Stats: 336/269/159 WOE: Low Carb, forever Start Date: 1/14/08	I've been wondering how you guys are doing today. How's Ron handling it? Bubba must be pretty puzzled right now. Take a good nap, Heather. Talk to ya later.

03-09-2009, 02:08 PM	#946
dee730 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: GA Posts: 245 Gallery: dee730 Stats: 308/268/180 WOE: low carb Start Date: 1-5-09	Heather just wanted to let you know that I am so sorry about your kitty dee

03-09-2009, 06:09 PM	#948
Houston Heather Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Houston Posts: 8,904 Gallery: Houston Heather Stats: 228/169/160 Waist: 42/31/31 WOE: Atkins 2002 Ongoing Weight Loss/pre maintenance Start Date: Feb 26, 2008 (second and last time)	Bubba laid on my feet while I watched TV - that's his version of getting in my lap. Frosty would have been in my lap. I told Ron, today, I feel as if Bubba really loves me. He knows I'm hurting and he's doing what he can to help. I gave him some cube steak (unsalted) when I fixed my dinner. The hashbrowns I ate are messing me up - big time cravings! Ugh. Oh, and I found the perfect cat. If I were ready, and Bubba liked girl cats, I'd want to meet her: Look at that perfect cattitude! She is PISSED! They named her "Cuddles" I can tell she is growling at the camera, probably hissed, and after the photo was taken tried to take someone's hand off. Bad kitty!

03-10-2009, 02:06 PM	#949
Houston Heather Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Houston Posts: 8,904 Gallery: Houston Heather Stats: 228/169/160 Waist: 42/31/31 WOE: Atkins 2002 Ongoing Weight Loss/pre maintenance Start Date: Feb 26, 2008 (second and last time)	I had a hard time this morning, I'm used to waking up to Frosty, having Frosty in my lap as I watch the morning news, giving Frosty his morning can of tuna cat food... I went to work and cried a little in the stockroom. I miss him so much. I did everything I needed to do and I talked to some really nice people. We just did work and home today - sales were pretty quiet so Ron and I got it all done and I had time to make up our food order. We have to get up at 2 AM on Friday. I always found it funny to watch the cats asleep while we went off to work. Ron agreed it would be easier to give me Thursday off, since that's when Chuck and I are running our errand, so we work a few hours tomorrow. I will get paid. Bubba can't eat the big cans of tuna cat food on his own, or he doesn't like to. At any rate, I'm going to hunt up some smaller cans of beef cat food. He loves beef. Too bad they don't have any pork flavors. He loves pork chops. If/when Bubba brings home his new buddy, we have the tuna. So, tomorrow, work, bank, Walmart (Ron needs food, too). Today I'm going out into the garden, even though I don't feel like it, to do some weeding and mulching. I have a lot of memories of Frosty out in the garden. I don't regret adopting him, and I don't regret my choice to let him go. I'm sorry I only had 4.5 years, but I am very grateful that I did have them. I've been crying a lot but who wouldn't?

03-10-2009, 04:28 PM	#950
Houston Heather Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Houston Posts: 8,904 Gallery: Houston Heather Stats: 228/169/160 Waist: 42/31/31 WOE: Atkins 2002 Ongoing Weight Loss/pre maintenance Start Date: Feb 26, 2008 (second and last time)	I worked my butt off out in the garden. A tip, if you ever have to put down a pet and they mail you the final medical report, don't read it. It was heartbreaking. I keep wondering if I could have done anything. But, as Ron reminds me, he was a very old man. It's just so lonely without him. I have eaten cleanly today, that's good. I have no idea where Bubba is , but that's Bubba, always off doing his own thing. I plan to clean up the front garden bed, by the front door, and make a little tribute garden to Frosty. I think he'd like that. I'm hungry but I don't feel like eating. I'm going to go force myself to eat something so I can take my pills.

03-10-2009, 06:09 PM	#951
Houston Heather Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Houston Posts: 8,904 Gallery: Houston Heather Stats: 228/169/160 Waist: 42/31/31 WOE: Atkins 2002 Ongoing Weight Loss/pre maintenance Start Date: Feb 26, 2008 (second and last time)	I did some research. Cat kidney failure is awful - a slow and horrible decline. I'm glad he had it happen quickly. I am looking into creating a little memorial garden for Frosty. I plan to use white flowered plants, next to the house, with some fragrant plants. I already have a mint and a lemon balm (Frosty liked to sit on my lemon balm) out front, with some white-flowered bulbs. The spot is shady, so I pulled out the sick rosebush and canned it - now I can put in pretty white-flowered plants that will be happy. I plan to do some impatiens and maybe some jasmine on the lattice. That would be lovely and so fragrant. I think it's a good tribute to him. It'll keep me busy. I need to stay active or I will fall into the black pit from hell (depression). Ron told me today that he's very proud of me for making the loving choice for Frosty, and handling it as well as I have. When I told him I immediately went up on my lithium, he was very impressed. He's a good man. He is very understanding when I come in, put my head on his shoulder, and tell him how much I miss my baby. Speaking of babies, Bubba helped me during dinner. I heated up a cube steak and cut him a few bites. He got up on the table and investigated his steak, then sat down and twitched his tail over my plate full of cut-up-cheese. Once it had a firm dusting of cat hair, he moved. I had to clean each bite before eating it. Then he licked the butter residue out of the empty green bean bowl. Him's a silly boy. He made me laugh, and he let me kiss and pet him as he sat regally on the table. He knows I need a little TLC and he's looking out for me.

03-10-2009, 07:55 PM	#952
Houston Heather Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Houston Posts: 8,904 Gallery: Houston Heather Stats: 228/169/160 Waist: 42/31/31 WOE: Atkins 2002 Ongoing Weight Loss/pre maintenance Start Date: Feb 26, 2008 (second and last time)	I'm glad I'm already doing everything in my power to battle depression (doing things I love, resting, eating properly, exercise, staying busy, etc.). Tonight I noted the "shower sign" - taking a shower just seemed to be a huge, insurmountable, task. That's my warning for depression. Then I noticed an upset stomach a while later - another sign. Of course I'm depressed, my cat died. I'm already doing everything I can to battle it, I just have to ride it out. I won't let this sabatoge my life or my WOE. I'm glad I have a busy day planned tomorrow.

03-10-2009, 08:06 PM	#953
skeopple Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Northern Wisconsin Posts: 3,682 Gallery: skeopple Stats: 336/269/159 WOE: Low Carb, forever Start Date: 1/14/08	Plus, Frosty would not want you to be depressed. He loved you. Animals know how we feel, don't they? Bubba is showing you that now. I'm so happy that you know how to control yourself medication wise. Please try to get some restful sleep so you can enjoy your busy day tomorrow! love ya.

03-11-2009, 04:11 PM	#954
Houston Heather Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Houston Posts: 8,904 Gallery: Houston Heather Stats: 228/169/160 Waist: 42/31/31 WOE: Atkins 2002 Ongoing Weight Loss/pre maintenance Start Date: Feb 26, 2008 (second and last time)	Thanks Sharon. This is tougher than just a "regular" bipolar depression because this one has cause. I haven't been this bad since I found out my mother died. Bubba has been precious. I was going to put up a picture of him but I can't find my camera. Probably a good thing - Frosty was a star on my camera. At any rate, Bubba's been doing some cute things. Going to bed is very hard for me, so he jumps into the bed, if he's not already in it, and allows me to love him. Petting mainly. No hugs like Frosty used... AGH. Anyway, I pet him as much as I want (not typical Bubba) and give him some treats, which he gobbles down greedily. He gets to excited about his treats he leaves big drool puddles on my sheet. A cat. In the morning, if he's not in the house he comes in with a loud CLICK-CLICK of the cat door and struts over to me for unlimited petting and talking. Afterwards, I generally give him either treats or canned food. Frosty was very into the tuna flavor, Bubba doesn't finish it. So today I got him some Fancy Feast Tender Beef Feast. First ingredient, beef. He loves it. He was so intent on his feast he literally licked the plate across the room. I feed "num-nums" on disposable styrofoam plates, so I can throw them away after they're done. I've been seeing a lot of jays, too. Blue jays and Gray Jays. One's looking in my window right now. I'm holding up pretty well food-wise. No bad foods, eating enough calories (always a big issue 'cause I lose my appetite when depressed), got more lithium today at Walmart, took it, I'm eating a small snack of cut-up cheese now. I bought lots of "Oh, yummy" lowcarb foods, stuff that is easy and enjoyable. Chappell Hill garlic sausage - oh, it's divine - I just cook it in my magic iron skillet. I got bulk ground sausage - the sausage casseroles I make from that are pretty good, plenty of organic eggs, cheese, etc. I also got 2 kinds of bacon, regular and peppered. The peppered is a Walmart brand, but looks very promising. I got lots of diet soda, because I'm hurting dhamnit and I want some kind of "treat". I will pay for this with horrible cramps in a few weeks, but I'm willing to pay for it. My weight was down to 170 today. I was glad I didn't stay home today, even though pretty much all our trips were total screw-ups. I encountered some very odd people today, too. A reminder to take my pills? That's how I took it. Literally. Our rides were awful and we didn't get home until after 2. I took a good nap and woke up after about an hour. I went out and checked on my plants - pretty sneaky of God to send a cold snap. He knows I'll be out there covering and uncovering my plants. The cucumbers and squash sprouted, and I put caps on them (milk jugs with the bottom cut out). I also wrapped up my tomatoes. I didn't put my eggplant and peppers into the ground just yet ('cause I knew we'd get at least ONE cold snap, and I'm lacking space), I potted them up in clay pots. I keep the pots on a plastic tray like you'd get at a fast food restaurant. I brought the tray in and put them under my plant lights. It keeps me busy, which is important. I got paid today too. Horrible to be depressed at Walmart with $400 in your pocket. Awful. Tomorrow our dear buddy Chuck will take me to Home Depot to buy soil amendments, like cow manure and shredded pine bark mulch. That'll keep me busy too. Walmart didn't have any good plants for the Frosty garden (white flowers) so I'll look at Home Depot tomorrow - I'm looking for a jasmine and some impatiens. I'll train the jasmine up the trellis out front. The rain will make it easy to work the soil when I do find the right plants. I'm staying busy but I'm hurting. I don't regret knowing him. If Bubba wants to bring home a new buddy, I'll love him (girl cats are too bossy for Bubba), even if he's an old man like Frosty was. Frosty was a wonderful cat and I'm glad I knew him, but I'm going to miss him for a long time.

03-11-2009, 04:51 PM	#955
Snowman Senior LCF Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Pittsburgh, PA Posts: 195 Gallery: Snowman WOE: LC Start Date: Feb. 2004	Stopping by to give you a BIG . Have fun tomorrow at Home Depot! I love the garden idea you are planning out front! Keep your chin up, Ron needs you and we need you here too! You gave Frosty a good life!!

03-11-2009, 06:47 PM	#956
Houston Heather Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Houston Posts: 8,904 Gallery: Houston Heather Stats: 228/169/160 Waist: 42/31/31 WOE: Atkins 2002 Ongoing Weight Loss/pre maintenance Start Date: Feb 26, 2008 (second and last time)	Ron ordered me a pizza - I ate the top and threw the crust away. I am looking forward to tomorrow, I know I need to keep busy. Thanks for the

03-11-2009, 07:11 PM	#957
Tazcat Carby Cat Join Date: May 2004 Location: amidst the cat hair >^..^< Posts: 37,853 Gallery: Tazcat WOE: Catkins	Heather you're doing the right things. It's a big loss and understandably shaken you. Frosty will live on in your heart - and you did the kindest thing you could for him.

03-11-2009, 07:36 PM	#958
Houston Heather Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Houston Posts: 8,904 Gallery: Houston Heather Stats: 228/169/160 Waist: 42/31/31 WOE: Atkins 2002 Ongoing Weight Loss/pre maintenance Start Date: Feb 26, 2008 (second and last time)	Yeah, kidney failure - it was grim. He sure was happy at the end. I don't know what they gave him but it was the good stuff. He was feeling NO pain. I'm going to take a rose-scented bubble bath. Bubba's home, and up on his dresser watching my bed. He's really helping.

03-11-2009, 08:12 PM	#959
skeopple Very Gabby LCF Member!!! Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Northern Wisconsin Posts: 3,682 Gallery: skeopple Stats: 336/269/159 WOE: Low Carb, forever Start Date: 1/14/08	Hi Heather! I'm running by pretty late tonight. Just wanted to wish you blessings........

03-12-2009, 08:32 AM	#960
Houston Heather Big Yapper!!!! Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Houston Posts: 8,904 Gallery: Houston Heather Stats: 228/169/160 Waist: 42/31/31 WOE: Atkins 2002 Ongoing Weight Loss/pre maintenance Start Date: Feb 26, 2008 (second and last time)	Thank you! I can use the hugs! I wore my black jeans today, and noticed white cat hair. It's hard but I'm getting used to a routine without my little beggar. He was the biggest beggar in the world, and absolutely addicted to his treats. Bubba's not as cuddly, but he let me pet him 4 times this morning. I was awake and lying in bed, missing Frosty who used to sleep with me, and I heard the pet door go "CLICK-CLICK" - it's a loud door. I squealed "Bubba!" and he came running in to me. We did some petting and a few treats, then I got up and gave him his Fancy Feast Tender Beef - his new favorite. Again, he got so excited he licked the plate across the room. He came by to visit a few times, then he went outside. I'm maintaining my weight and doing OK mood-wise. The weather's gotten really gloomy, dark, and cold. Some rain, too. It's depressing. I fell over my chair getting ready to sit down so my lithium is right where it should be, considering. I managed to save myself but I'm clumsy enough that my lithium is at a good level. Sometimes I get ringing ears, too. I always look at side effects in the context of - I'd be dead. If I'm not dead it's an acceptable side effect. Last year I started losing my hair - pretty awful, but again, better than being sick or dead. I took a nice bubble bath last night and watched Animal Cops Houston - it's good to remember there's a lot of desperate animals out there looking for homes. I'm going to wait a while and see if Bubba brings anyone home. He's been here for 6 years, he has a right to pick the next cat. He sure did great with the last one! I'm trying to keep busy, doing things I love. I don't want to do anything right now. I just want to lie in bed all day and cry, but that's the worst thing I could do. I'd have a very hard time climbing out of that hole. Chuck is coming by to take me to a garden center and get my soil amendments. He liked Frosty, too. Frosty was very shy but he wouldn't run when he saw Chuck - high praise! It'll do me good to get out of the house. I plan to go to the garden center, but walk farther to the safer bus stop (ie - no drunken bums) afterwards. I can get myself a whipped cream thing from Starbucks, maybe a burger from a fast food place, and focus on things outside my head. Tomorrow we have to get up at 3 AM to get our junk food delivery. Ack.