Heather Shrinks in Houston!

[Houston Heather]

Today's the kind of day that could really drive me to eat terrible things. It wasn't bad but it has been nerve-wracking.

We got up early to go to the doctor. We got there early, so we went to Starbucks (in the same parking lot). Ron had a drink while I drank my diet soda.

Ron's lump has grown from pimple sized about a month ago, to teaspooon sized last week, to tablespoon sized this week.

We went in and went through the usual check in stuff. When the doctor came in, she took one look at Ron and became fairly concerned. The last time I've seen her like that was when I was so depressed she wanted to have me committed. Not good.

She immediately sent us off for "Stat" blood tests. The technician was a dream, very good. She was so good Ron asked to see her boss and put in a compliment, which the boss said was a lovely break in her day. We went back to Dr F. She looked at the blood tests and said they were fine. She wants to do a CAT scan (already scheduled for Friday) and see us again then. She also gave us a referral to an ENT.

She checked Ron out and said it is obviously not an abcess, and she wants to follow this. Eeek.

I was really hoping they could just do an in-office procedure but this little buggar is growing pretty fast, I can see why they want to have an expert. Like I told Ron, you don't want to mess up a nerve or anything.

More later.

[Houston Heather]

Anyway, after the appointment we went to Walmart to fill the prescription for the antibiotic. She wants to cover all the bases.

While there, Ron decided to take the plunge and buy a cheap ($30) MP3 player. It's kept us busy, downloading songs and configuring things. I think it was an excellent idea. Having your tunes along can really make all the difference when you're freaked out and waiting at the same time.

[big sigh]

At least he is concious this time, and he knows I won't get weird because he had a thing growing on his face. I just want the damned thing OFF soon. I want his hand fixed so he won't hurt anymore. I want it all done ASAP but I have to be nice and polite and understanding.

Anyway, tomorrow I'm buying my own player. I already have a list of songs I plan to load onto the player.

Oh, and I'm eating a whipped cream thing for dinner tonight. I almost got interested in the bakery display at Walmart so I bought some whipped cream. Now I'm starving because I spent too long on the computer.

[Jean@125]

Heather hope things are better soon! Jeanie

[Houston Heather]

We got up early today. Ron felt his face and said "It's bigger".

I will be SO glad when that thing is off of his face! I hate to see him feel ugly. In a few more days at this rate it will be a lot more obvious to others.

I can't type much, I have to go to bed, but I just wanted to say it was a hectic day, running around. I got paid and went to Walmart and got my pills... and before I left I picked up a couple of chicken breast fillet patties and a few plain double hamburgers. I can eat a chicken breast with a hamburger patty or two for a good L/C meal with NO meal prep.

Tomorrow we get up at 2:45, go to work, receive a huge delivery, stock it, go to the CAT scan place, Ron gets scanned. Lunch, then Dr again. THEN home.

Today it was "What nap?" But I'm in good spirits.

Oh, and my cat brought a live mouse into the house - it escaped his clutches, and is SOMEWHERE in the house. Good luck sleeping tonight! I got a humane trap and baited it with PB. Sadly, I have a fair amount of experience with rodents. We've lived in some bad areas.

I got myself a little 1 Gigabyte mp3 player. I downloaded all my most favorite tunes, and a few new ones that sound interesting.

Ron LOVED his player today while I was running my errands. I'd see him bopping away to his tunes, smiling. Like I told him, we'll be doing a lot of waiting the next little while so I'm glad we got these.

Time to take my pills. to everyone.

[Snowman]

Heather ~ I'm glad your spirits are good with all the running around and stuff you have to do!! Hope Ron gets a good report tomorrow at the Dr. {{{HUGS}}}

Take Care!

[Houston Heather]

We won't hear anything for a couple of days. It isn't any bigger, though.

I haven't been sleeping well, irregular mealtimes, no workouts, but I still lost 1/4 inch off my waist this morning. I plan to take it easy tomorrow - maybe a workout, maybe not.

I haven't cheated either. I think that's the big secret.

Oh, yeah, and WAY too many diet sodas.

I'll be glad when this is all over with.

[Houston Heather]

I read an interesting argument in favor of yogurt. It basically said that 1 cup of yogurt = 4 carbs and the reason it has a higher carb count is faulty measurement. I thought, Hmmm. I could use some probiotics. It's got protein and fat together (the kind I bought) and no sugar.

What the heck. I ate a cup. I went to bed and got "like" 10 hours of sleep. Sooo nice! I woke up with a little bit of a headache but I'm well rested. It's the first day in days that I haven't wanted to go straight back to bed after waking up.

Today, I am 2 pounds lighter AND I lost another 1/4 inch off my waist! Yeee-haw!

It's going to be pretty easy to eat smart today. The only errand we have to run is mostly "fun" - Ron wants to go to KFC, and I want to get some low-carb cat food from Petco.

Edit: I just figured out I'm halfway to goal. 38.5 pounds gone, 39 to go.

[Houston Heather]

Well, the yogurt was a BAD idea. I woke up with a headache, ate some more yogurt, ate some bacon. By the time we got to KFC I had a full-blown migraine. Oh, I was in pain! Nausea!

I staggered over to Petco - I'm putting the cats on Catkins (low-carb cat food). The actual brand is "Wellness Core formula". Bubba likes it and he loves the canned food. NO meat byproducts, it smells a lot better than the other wet cat foods.

After buying the cat food, I went over to GNC and got some ginger root. It saved me from getting violently ill on the ride home - remember I'm riding in a city vehicle or someone's cab. I took 4 capsules.

We came home, I inserted my phenergan, and I crashed. I woke up around 4:30 feeling OK. Ron decided to play with my MP3 player - with my permission, and had copied some songs onto his player. Including "When I Grow up" by the Pussycat dolls!

I thought that was hysterical.

I hope I don't get another migraine from the yogurt I ate this morning. I have to work tomorrow.

[Houston Heather]

I lost half an inch off my hips! Yeeee-haw! Hips are now 43 inches.

Still 189, too. Waist is still 33.75.

[Houston Heather]

DH ranted and screamed at me for a while today. Not fun. I try to be understanding, he has a head injury, but it just makes me want to quit. I can see why 90-95% of head injury victims who're married at the time of the injury end up divorced. They're impossible to live with at times.

Why bother trying to be a loving wife? He doesn't appreciate me anyway! He is constantly comparing me to "normal" woman and saying they would treat him better and be able to do more. If he wanted a normal woman why did he marry me? He knew I was disabled.

Then when I tell him I won't allow him to call me an F ing B he says I'm horrible and he wants to go live in a nursing home. [clutching my head in my hands] It's enough to give me another migraine. He things me being assertive is "mean" and that "I was much nicer when I was fat" - because I had no self confidence. I'm not screaming at him, saying hurtful things, or any of that. Just "Please don't do/say that, it hurts me." He also made some very evil comments about "Why don't you take another pill, 'cause they aren't working!" The one thing I have asked of him regarding my illness is to NEVER do that.

Anyway, like I said it makes me wonder why I even bother. I'm already running a little depressed. Then he came out in the kitchen while I was cooking and ranted for half an hour about how God, according to him, is an A-hole. My faith is important to me but he doesn't respect that.

Now I'm no better than him, dumping on you. The good news, I didn't eat any bad things. I ate normal amounts of food when I was hungry and that's it. No workout - depressed and angry and the garage is still too hot. I have to go to bed soon. I had to get up at 4 AM so we could get the donuts.

God, what a pointless, depressing day.

[pennylovesdarren]

Heather! Trust the Lord! Taste and see that the Lord is good!

[Houston Heather]

Well, I'm feeling better today. I think the sleep deprivation for the both of us last week didn't help either of our moods.

I was at the grocery store today and I saw an old snack food - bean sprouts. I used to love to eat them raw, by the handful. The woman behind me in line wanted to know how I ate them. I told her, raw. She looked at me funny and said she cooked them in rice. I shuddered and told her I didn't eat rice. She asked why, I told her. She said she'd rather die fat than give up her rice.

The cashier chimed in and said she might want to rethink that. Her husband was diabetic and about to lose a foot. The other woman didn't care, but the cashier and I shared a moment of understanding.

Your health is a lot more important than putting starch and sugar in your mouth. So, I bought the bean sprouts, a little whipping cream, giant decaf teabags (I like to drink decaf iced tea at night), and some Blue Bell no sugar added ice cream. One half is vanilla, one half is dutch chocolate. The chocolate is really, really good. It's 12 carbs for 1/2 cup so I only ate one serving. I don't plan to eat it every day but what a nice thing to have in the freezer. I have enough self control that I can have a spoonful or two and put it back.

Tasty. We ate BBQ for lunch (the same stop where I hit the grocery store) and I have the better part of 1/2 pound of delicious links - for dinner and breakfast if they last that long.

I tend to be hungrier the week before my period so I brought 2 cheese sticks, 1 cup sauteed beef with a tad of onions, and a sausage patty. I ate it all at work, along with some peanuts. Yummy.

[Houston Heather]

Yay!

I did 45 minutes on the step to the techno. I'm not freaking out anymore, I feel really calm about the whole Ron situation. It'll all work out. He'll be fine.

No worries. I could slap myself for forgetting how much better I feel after a workout.

[Snowman]

Heather ~ KEEP UP THE GREAT JOB!! I will pray that Ron will realize what a wonderful, caring woman you are and you don't deserve to be treated like that. He is lucky to have you.

Take care Heather! Hope you have a GREAT day tomorrow!

[pennylovesdarren]

Originally Posted by Houston Heather

Yay!

I did 45 minutes on the step to the techno. I'm not freaking out anymore, I feel really calm about the whole Ron situation. It'll all work out. He'll be fine.

No worries. I could slap myself for forgetting how much better I feel after a workout.

Way to go Heather! We all freak out every once in awhile. I'm glad you are feeling good!

[Houston Heather]

Today wasn't too bad.

We got up and went to Fry's Electronics (that's what I love about living in the big city). Ron got something, I got something. I also got a diet lime coke. Yum.

We went to Walmart next but not the one next to Frys. It is icky.

I read Ron dozens of song titles to see if anything triggered his "I want that" button. Not really, but he did get the Donna Summer hits .

Then to the doctor. We were only there 4 hours.

He has an abcess. Our doctor is an Osteopath (DO) so she can't drain it. It has to be done by the ENT guy, maybe he can do it Friday, maybe not. We need to see him Friday, though. We got the blood work, all the records pertaining to this, and a CD of the CAT scan.

We left and had to wait an hour to be picked up. It was pretty mild, though! Not bad waiting weather, and we had our MP3 players (they only cost a few hour's pay).

Got home late, I was exhausted. Took a little nap, woke up. Something happened to my whipped cream, when I tried to whip it it got scary looking. I almost ate it and then I thought "What if God's trying to tell you it's bad?" so I ate some cream cheese for dinner.

Ron decided, on his own, to improve his nutrition. Good. I have lots of healthy veggies and cooked meat.

Tomorrow we go to work and then Walmart again to drop off his second prescription. It is helping. Then we go home, I think. Not too bad.

Friday we get up really early and go see the ENT guy, then who knows?

The doctor did tell Ron he can't have the hand surgery until his infection is better. Bummer. It may get delayed until next year (because our busy season starts in a little over a month). Ron can't be out during our "rush" unless it's absolutely necessary.

[Houston Heather]

A few facts. Like most men, Ron hates the wheelchair. The way he sees it, only a real train wreck uses a wheelchair. He'll use it if he has to, but the last time I got it out of the garage I had to clean off the spider webs and wasp nests.

He was very queasy today. I'm hoping it's just a reaction to the bacteria die-off. He got a shot of penicillin, so that could be it too. He said he felt achy and his right side was extra weak.

I tried to get him to stay home. He told me he would if I had my own paratransit services (curse them for the denial!), but otherwise he had to go.

So, today I got the joyful task of watching my weak, miserable, and queasy husband fill his vending machines while I helped. It was awful.

As we got ready to leave, he struggled out of a chair and I told him "I wish we'd brought the wheelchair"

"I wish we had, too." That man is SICK.

So, we came home. He does not want to go to the hospital and he isn't running a fever. He's lying down right now.

Tomorrow morning we see the ENT surgeon. Hopefully Ron will feel better in a few hours. If he gets worse, he's going to the hospital if I have to call a cab and shove us into it. If he's the same, maybe the surgeon can finish draining his thing and get all the infection out for good.

It drained some last night and more this morning, so I think he's getting better. But there's no way he can do the hand surgery on the 3rd.

I have been eating smart and I was rewarded with a 1 pound loss overnight! 188! Yeah!

My 14's (Walmart does oversize but I went with Walmart sizes from day one) are getting a little loose in the back, even. That's great to have happening in the middle of PMS. My body seems to like to lose a little right before my period.

Awesome.

The only problem since we got home - his bedroom door was open. He was lying in bed like he usually does when he's home. All of a sudden I heard weak screams "Heather! Help!". I ran into the bedroom. Frosty, the white cat, was settling into a cozy position on Ron's belly. Not good when you're feeling sick!

As I dragged the miscreant out of the room, Ron pleaded with me to give him treats, because "Frosty's a good boy, he doesn't know I'm sick!". What a good Daddy.

I shut the door, and gave Frosty his treats. Now he's in my bed.

[Houston Heather]

He's having agonizing stomach pain.

I'm taking him to the hospital. A freind is picking us up.

I have some clothes, books, knitting, and a few meals worth of food packed.

Pray for us.

[Snowman]

Heather ~ I hope they found out what is causing Ron's pain and he is feeling
better by now.

I haven't tried diet lime coke, just might have to do that since you said it's good.

Praying that Ron is better and back home soon. Take care of Heather, too!

You are smart packing some food to take with you!!

[Houston Heather]

We're home again! They admitted him and I stayed with him. They let us go a little over a day later.

He has an inflammed stomach that isn't emptying properly. The medication they got him seems to work so they sent him home with a prescription for it. He has to eat a low-fat diet for a little while until they see if it's his gallbladder. He has an outpatient HIDA scan we need to schedule.

We have to see an infectious disease guy for the cyst on his face, a gastroenterologist for his stomach, he has to have the HIDA scan, and he may need to lose the gallbladder!

Stressful! The first night in the hospital he was in agonizing pain. They let me stay with him - they had a chair (vinyl recliner) so I used it. I actually slept OK when I could sleep. The first night he kept groaning in agony, tossing and turning. They'd give him shots, he'd subside, then it would come back.

Yesterday they let him eat and the pain came back, he needed another shot. Then the gave him some Reglan first, let him eat, and he was fine. Thank God.

They scoped his stomach, X-rayed, and CAT-scanned him. I felt they were very thorough, compassionate, and knowledgeable. I was glad I stayed with him because he has a complex medical history. They had him on telemetry because of his heart. It's a long story, basically his heart is fine but he had some damage due to the accident.

Soooooo. How did I hold up?

I had a bag packed, I call it my bug-out-bag. It's a good thing to have. It has toiletries, a blanket (which Ron loved), a couple of changes of clothes (mine), clean underwear, hygenie stuff, etc. I brought my music player - glad I had it, a week's worth of medication, food in a little cooler, and my Bible.

I grabbed my bag, packed the cooler, threw my medicine into my bag, and a friend took us to the ER. They admitted Ron. At dinnertime, I ate a bag of peanuts, a small apple, and a Slimfast low-carb shake. If I had left I would have had trouble getting back so I stayed.

After Ron was admitted, I could come and go as I pleased, but the cafeteria is small and only open 12 hours a day ( ). The big trauma center has spoiled me - they are open about 20 hours a day.

I slept off an on for 8 hours the first night. In the big hospital (Hermann) the doctors did rounds at about 7-8. I wanted to stick around because Ron was really loopy from the pain meds. Plus, I had to give the medical history. I ate another bag of peanuts and had another slim fast low carb. I took my medication. Nothing.

I went down to the cafeteria - breakfast was really promising. They had all kinds of good breakfast foods a la carte. I could get sausage, bacon, and 2 kinds of eggs. They also had very bad things I will not name. I got bacon and eggs. The eggs were horrible.

I went down for lunch. Chicken pot pie. Fried things. Sandwiches. Oh, God, I'm in low-carb hell! More bad things, in bakery boxes. Oh, good, chef salad. When I got over to the dressing I discovered 4 kinds of fat free dressing, stuff with sugar, and blue cheese. I HATE blue cheese. But I needed fat so I got it. I got a tuna cup - one scoop of tuna salad in a cup. It wasn't bad but I'm a little burned out on Tuna because Ron's been on a tuna kick recently. Making loads and loads of tuna salad has burned me out.

I ate the salad, not much fat in the dressing, so I got hungry 2 hours later. I'm running low on peanuts by now so I ate the tuna cup. It was OK, but no mayo! Hardly any fat! I got hungry, again, and had to eat some peanuts to get my blood sugar to SHUT UP.

Dinnertime, same thing... ate some tuna and peanuts. I was tempted to get something sugary but I told myself if I really wanted sugar I could get a whole piece of fruit and eat it. The craving passed.

I took my medication regularly, ate all my peanuts, and really dreaded getting on the scale this morning. I must have drunk 8 bottles of diet Dr pepper, no water, no exercise except taking the stairs to and from the 3rd floor... how bad would it be?

I lost 1/2 inch off my waist.

I lost 1/2 inch off my hips.

My weight was exactly the same!

Thank God.

[Houston Heather]

So, today.

Ron needed to get his prescription filled. The paratransit service brought us home yesterday but that's it.

I walked about a mile and a half each way to the Walgreens. They got the prescriptions started and then I walked over to McD's. I had a good breakfast of eggs (on the side) and bacon (on the side) and a huge bucket of unsweetened iced tea with lots of ice and a little splenda. I was feeling a little burned out (who wouldn't?) and just relaxed and enjoyed myself.

Then I did a little shopping at Walgreens and bought myself the perfect lipstick. I never wear makeup and I don't like most of the lipsticks. I think they look harsh on me and unnatural. I actually found something for $3 that's perfect.

I paid for Ron's pills and went back to McD's. He likes the grilled chicken breast - which I often get for lunch, so I got him a couple and myself a plain double hamburger, throw away the bun.

I walked back home, listening to my EXCELLENT tunes on my player, got Ron his medicine, and came here!

Now I'm going to take a nice relaxing shower - in MY shower, and take a nap.

Later on I'll do some knitting in front of the TV, while watching what Ron calls "Monster Movies" on Sci-fi.

[Jean@125]

Heather,
I am glad to hear you all are back home and doing somewhat better. When Ray was in the hospital I lived off peanuts and other nuts. I didn't lose but at least I maintained.
You did awesome! Best wishes with the upcoming tests. Jeanie

[Jean@125]

Heather,
Is it just me or have you noticed since you cut back on the workouts you have lost more weight? I have noticed the same thing in myself the last couple of weeks as well. Jeanie

[Snowman]

So glad you and Ron are home!! I bet your both glad to be home.

You did excellent with your eating while you were at the hospital with Ron! CONGRATULATIONS!! What a smart lady planning ahead like you did. I was wondering if you took your ipod or whatever it is you have to listen to your tunes on!

I used to buy the slimfast low carb shakes to have on hand for something different, but can't find them any more. I liked them.

Take care!

[Houston Heather]

Snow, I got a great little MP3 player for $30 - bright red, holds about 150 songs. I haven't even filled it up halfway! I had just bought 2 songs "Put on a happy face" and "Raindrops". Very good songs to listen to in the hospital!

Jean, you're right! I'm not in a big hurry to get back to my workouts just yet but I will be doing some cardio to keep my heart and lungs healthy.

My hips are 42.5. My goal is 40! My waist is about 3.5 inches above my goal... meaning I've lost over 8 inches off of my waist and at least 10 off my hips!

A couple people have mentioned it looks like I lost more than 40 pounds. They don't look at me funny anymore when I order a cooked chicken breast and a plain double hamburger - they know it works!

Today was lazy Heather day, except for getting up to go to work. Ron is moving like a very old man. He was very worn out after work and napped for over an hour before we went to Walmart. We worked a couple of hours - things are pretty slow.

We came home, he napped. We went to Walmart. I get my Slimfast Low-carb shakes at Walmart, Snow. If you have a Sam's Club they have the chocolate flavor in a 15 count case. I got some chocolate and vanilla shakes, salad, veggies, a new bra!

Since it seems to be us girls in here I'll add that my girls are a little saggy looking for a B cup so I was happy to find an awesome pushup bra that is very comfortable. When I'm flipping over a 16 cubic foot dumpster and shaking it out I need to be comfy.

After we got home from Walmart I ate and took a nap. That's it. Oh, and fun on the board. No work at all, just rest.

Ron is incredibly worn out and very stiff - he had a bad penicillin reaction. He's resting and using his vibrating massager on his back, arms, and legs. He let me give him a back rub, but made me stop because he "feels guilty".

He can't give me backrubs because of his bad hand. He says he still wants to go ahead and do the surgery on Sept 3. I don't know if they'll let him.

I'm glad I'm taking care of myself. I don't always have an easy time doing it but it is SO important. I was almost a little depressed the other day - I have to be nice to me for medical reasons, not just emotional ones.

[Snowman]

Heather!! I'll have to look at our Wal-Mart for the Slim Fast Shakes. I haven't looked lately, maybe they will have them. I don't go to Sam's club, not one local.

Glad you and Ron are taking it easy. Sometimes that's what we have to do!!

Take care!

[Houston Heather]

Today I found out Ron's having the surgery on the 3rd.

I'm in a small state of panic. I always have terrible bouts of self-doubt and depression when Ron's got surgery scheduled. I feel like Ron "deserves better" than me to depend on. I can't even drive!

Today at work he could hardly do anything, so I did most of both our jobs. I feel confident I can handle the business, but taking care of another human being is a huge responsibility. I've taken care of him before, when he barely even knew who I was. He had sternal precautions, he couldn't walk, and I had to help him sit up in bed. He had a twin bed, I had a twin mattress on the floor. I felt like Ruth and Boaz.

I'm just afraid he will need more than I can give him. I feel like I've only got 50% of what an "average" person has. He need someone who can give him 100%.

But then I have experiences like I did at work today - I told him how Ron was in the hospital, and "Of course I stayed with him". Wow, he replied. Not many women would stick around.

I asked him because I didn't know if I heard him properly. "You mean most women would leave him because he has the occasional problem?"

Yep, he replied, as he nodded. I hope I'm wrong. I hope most women wouldn't do that, but everything I hear says I'm some kind of freak for standing by my man.

I don't get it. In some regards, I am profoundly different than normal. My brain processes things in different ways. I can see things that aren't there and not see things that are there (clutter).

When I get up, I'll confide my fears in Ron - that I'm going to fail him in some way. I'm sure he will be very kind.

As long as I can still get a one-armed hug and lean my head on his shoulder, I'll know everything's going to be OK.

[pennylovesdarren]

I think your friend has had some bad experiences with women or at least knows someone who has. I definitely wouldn't abandon my husband if he got sick or injured and I know he wouldn't abandon me either. I am a lot different physically now than when we got married so I can't do all the things I used to do. Is DH going to split? I hope not! lol I know he's staying regardless. Ron needs you for your support, strength, love, tenderness, faithfulness, and vice versa not your driving abilities. You are probably the best thing that's ever happened to Ron! Hang in there!

[Houston Heather]

Oh, yeah.

I took my nap and when I woke up I had a thought in my head:
Be Rude to the 'tude.

Don't respect the bad thoughts. Throw them out. They're not worth listening to.

Which is a good thing, because DH says he is having a "Bad LSD trip" from his antibiotics.

Ay
Yi
Yi

[clutching head in hands]

I'm going to eat clean, though, and not make any mistakes.

Oh, yeah, we have to get up at 3 AM tomorrow to get a Dr Pepper order.

Ack
Ack
Ack.

[Houston Heather]

Waiting on the cab, to go BACK to the hospital.