Meeha's Quest for a Healthier, Thinner Self!!

[meeha]

Hello All
After debating on whether I should or shouldn't I am finally opening a journal.
I realize through several attempts I can not do this alone and need as much support as I can get especially from those who are going through the same thing.

I have journaled on other boards and felt like it was more of a "competition" verses genuine support.

This is serious business and I need to surround myself with positivity, I think journaling is good for the soul and will help me to see the big picture!!!

I've been chubby since birth in jr high and highschool and some college I was a pretty decent size and was happy but for years now I have been up and down and it's time to STOP and get it together!!

I'm tired of being tired
I want to be able to go to my closet and put on whatever I want without trying on 4-5 outfits to see which one fits
I just want to be healthy!!!

I love this site the information and support is great!!!

I restarted my journey on 1-2-08 at 239lbs, I lost 16 lbs by 2-10-08.
Yeah I was excited and motivated but on 2-10-08 I don't know what happened but I had a binge moment. I woke up on Monday morning stepped on the scale and saw a 6 lb gain!!!

How in the world did this happen? 6 freaking pounds!! Good grief!!
I was sooooo mad at myself b/c I was on a roll and allowed myself to fall off the wagon.

After seeing the numbers on the scale I looked in the mirror and said to myself
"You have got to do this" no is standing in your way but YOU!!!
I have been eating clean ever since and drowning myself with water the only thing I have not done this week which has been apart of my plan since day one is exercise.

I will get back to my workouts on Monday!!

The scale has not moved past 229 all week so that's a bummer but it also shows me how binging (cheating) can set me back. I never want to do that again...... It's Just Not Worth it!!


Okay so moving on.......................................

My goals

Eat only what's on the allowed list
drink at least 67.60 oz of water (my water bottles are 16.9oz)
Stick to my workout plan of cardio 5x a week (AM & PM) and strength training 3x a week
Stay positive!

Today's Menu:

B- Steak omelett with cheese, peppers, onions cooked in butter
16.9 oz water

L- Salad with remaining steak. peppers, onions and 2 tbsp of sour cream
16.9 oz of water

D- ??? Maybe chicken and some kind of veggie
16.9 oz water

16.9 oz of water before going to bed.


I welcome all to visit me

[meeha]

I holding steady my supervisor just came around announcing there is cake in the break room. I declined and sipped on my water bottle. Damn! it feels good to be back in control!!

Another thing I forgot to mention in my intro regarding water, for so long I have been drinking diet sodas like it was the only drink left on earth and when I tried to stop in the past I only replaced it with Crystal Light.

I have made a decision to stop drinking diet sodas and Crystal Light I feel right now it's the only way I can make sure I am getting my water in.

Maybe occasionally if we're out eating I might order a diet soda but for now it's straight H2O!!

[meeha]

No visitors huh?
Oh! well I guess I'll just post to myself I got on the scale this morning and
5 lbs were gone!! Excited doesn't even describe the feeling I was so down from the gain from the binge that I really needed to see this change.

I have been OP ever since and feeling better then ever, I am resuming exercising on Monday and hopefully that along with my clean eating I will see major results.

I am really impresed with myself as far as my water intake, I guess when that's all your drinking it makes it easier to do it.

[meeha]

Today's Menu

B- Cheese omlette cooked in butter
16.9 oz water

L- Ceasar Salad no croutons
16.9 oz water

D- Either Salmon or buffalo wings with a veggie
16.9 oz water


Another 16.9 oz water before going to bed

[Livywilltim-mom]

Wow, you are doing so well. Great job losing 5 pounds so quickly!

Your choice to stick with water is wonderful...I can't wait to see your progress friend!

Peace

[meeha]

Random Thoughts


I was sitting here thinking how I feel like this is it!!! I feel in control and like I finally get it!! I have tried so many different plans and have struggled with low carb especially Atkins for so long. Part of it is I always felt it was unhealthy wit all the fat and limited carbs.

I tried South Beach b/c I felt it was more flexible and could be something I can stick with in the long run.

After reading both books I realize what my issues were with Atkins:

I DID NOT read the entire book to be honest it was overwhelming and lets face it alot of the "medical stuff" and "stories" were boring but once I went through it and focused on the actual diet I realize that I can have fruit and nuts and whole grains down the road.

I was afraid that my diet would consist of only meat, eggs, cheese, limited veggies and butter forever. So one can guess why I was turned off!


I think SB is a great program but I found that the flexiblity of it was a little too flexible for me. The weight wasn't coming off and I would end up binging on the allowed foods like the fudgesicles and ricotta desserts and also forget the nuts.

So I need something more strict that will get rid of the cravings and I found that with Atkins it may be a better fit.

Surprisingly my doctor Rx'd SB diet for me but once I told him what was going on we talked about Atkins and although he wasn't too thrilled about it he said I should try it but that we would monitor my lab work and take it from there.

I don't know how this journey will end but for now I'm following Atkins and just hope for the best.

I don't want to treat this like a diet which is what I did in the past I want this to be something I can do for life.

[meeha]

Originally Posted by Livywilltim-mom

Wow, you are doing so well. Great job losing 5 pounds so quickly!

Your choice to stick with water is wonderful...I can't wait to see your progress friend!

Peace

My First Visitor!!

Thank you I am really trying hard to do this, I can't make anymore excuses. I have to take care of myself. Yeah it was hard in the beginning to just drink water especially in the morning it's like I just had to have a diet soda or crystal light first thing in the AM but I have to get this water in and know it's better for me so far so good.

Thanks again for visiting .... don't be a stranger!

[Livywilltim-mom]

Just want to share with you that my DH's CARDIOLOGIST prescribed a lower carb diet to help DH lower a slightly elevated triglyceride level. It made us feel great that a heart doc was advocating the LC lifestyle.

I am proud to be the first visitor!

Peace friend

[meeha]

Originally Posted by Livywilltim-mom

Just want to share with you that my DH's CARDIOLOGIST prescribed a lower carb diet to help DH lower a slightly elevated triglyceride level. It made us feel great that a heart doc was advocating the LC lifestyle.

I am proud to be the first visitor!

Peace friend

You know I think doctors are now thinking outside the box/textbooks and realizing that this is a healthy WOE and therefore prescribing it more.
Hope it's working for your DH

[meeha]

I was just reading Whitney Piers journal and it brought me to tears it was like reading my own story of binging on junk, hiding food etc....

I think about things I use to do like ordering extra burgers or nuggets at McD's
eating a 1/2 gallon of ice cream and hiding the container from my DH.

Eating a container of cool whip, eating a whole pizza etc...

Makes me sad thinking about it I had a HUGE problem with sweets even now I will over do it on sugar free candy.

I realize that I have to take baby steps and for me that means staying away from sweets even low carb sweets for now until I can get my cravings under control.

I remember about 3 weeks ago I bought some natural sg free peanut butter (when I was doing SB) and insted of eating 2 tbsp I was just eating it as I will until one day I realize that I have to get my cravings and binges under control because regardless of what I am eating if I over do it , I will still get the same results and that is extra unwanted pounds.

I ended up pouring dish detergent in the jar of peanut butter and throwing it in the trash.

This site and the people on it keeps me motivated to say the least, I love reading the success stories and seeing people get over a hurdle they have been struggling with.

I am so excited and emotional right now because I feel so optimistic but there is also that fear lurking around the corner b/c just a week ago I was feeling this good and still ended up binging.

So I am praying this time around I can move forward never having to report that I binged and fell off the wagon AGAIN!!

[Hot Tamale]

I have done many of the things you mentioned - the ice cream, the pizza, etc... I'm also trying to stop the diet soda. I don't drink too much of it, but I'd like to just NOT drink it. Maybe just green tea once in a while. Good for you not eating the cake. Congrats on your loss so far. I wish you all the best!

[Lizbeth927]

I just wanted to stop by and say hi!! Thanks for stopping by my journal as well. I think you'll find that this site is extremely supportive and encouraging. Your menus are looking great, so keep up the good work!! I'll be sure to keep checking in on you

[meeha]

Originally Posted by Hot Tamale

I have done many of the things you mentioned - the ice cream, the pizza, etc... I'm also trying to stop the diet soda. I don't drink too much of it, but I'd like to just NOT drink it. Maybe just green tea once in a while. Good for you not eating the cake. Congrats on your loss so far. I wish you all the best!

Thanks for visiting my journal, yeah I was seriously addicted to Diet Sodas I just had to stop cold turkey. I did however started drinking Crystal Light to take the edge off then I had to stop that also.

Again thank you and don't be a stranger

[meeha]

Originally Posted by Lizbeth927

I just wanted to stop by and say hi!! Thanks for stopping by my journal as well. I think you'll find that this site is extremely supportive and encouraging. Your menus are looking great, so keep up the good work!! I'll be sure to keep checking in on you

Hey there,
I love this site, it really keeps me in check and motivated. I am so in awe of the success stories and the determination I see in the journals.

Thank you

[meeha]

Holding steady at 225lbs I am just happy that it didn't creep back up.

I have done Induction over so many times but never "clean" meaning I would end up eating sugar free chocolate, eating more the the allowed heavy cream because I made "mock ice cream" out of it etc... this time around I want to follow the rules to the letter!!!

I guess you can say this is a personal challenge for myself I started my "clean by the book induction" today and so far so good. If it's not on the list it will not touch my lips!!!

How long will I stay on Induction?? I don't know right now I will see how these 2 weeks go, my initial number was at least a month. I may go longer or I might move on to OWL. I know I have a problem with binging I've tried eating a few nuts and end up eating half the jar etc... So that is definitely something I need to work on when considering moving on.

I don't want to be an Inductee forever though I feel it's important to move forward. Wish me luck!!!
__________________



B- Cheese Omlett in butter

L- Salad with fried parmasean chicken breast, creamy cesar and lettuce)

D- Haven't decided yet maybe Salmon ???

Water Goal- 67.6 oz (4x16.9 oz bottles)

[meeha]

Well my work day is about to come to a close and I'm getting ready to slide to my car (it's snowing and icy). I'm doing very good with my eating and water I feel so good, I'm not deprived heck I even feel thinner!!

One thing I wanted to mention is that I noticed when you take pride in your out self it is bound to affect the inner you.

So often we women tend to neglect ourselves especially when we have kids and a husband and then to be overweight on top of that you can lose yourself.

Well a while ago I decided that while I am working on the inner self (positive thinking, self descipline and health) I have to make sure that my outer appearance is on point at all times.

I always make sure I get me eyebrows done (threaded) and am now getting regular pedicures, I'm not waiting until I lose the weight to dress a certain way. I'm wearing makeup more and just being the sophisticated woman that I am even at this size. I don't want to buy too many clothes at this size b/c it will just be a waste b/c I am going to get smaller!!

I just see so many overweight women neglecting themselves b/c they're waiting for that magical day when the weight comes off.

Don't wait, celebrate yourself right now!!! Just b/c you're not at goal weight doesn't mean you can't be a DIVA trust me it will make you feel good and motivate you even more to get the weight off.

So put on some lipstick and eyeliner, put on that skirt with those boots, get that haircut you've always wanted to try and Celebrate YOU regardless of your size!! Love yourself!!

[meeha]

B- Sheppard's Pie (induction friendly w/mashed cauliflower)

L- Buffalo style chicken breast with ranch dressing

D- Slamon drenched in butter and olive oil and small salad

[Livywilltim-mom]

Yum! Meeha,
Your menu is delish! Thanks for sharing

Have a great Thursday!

[meeha]

Hey All,
I'm still hanging in there stepped on the scale yesterday and finally got those pesky cheating 5 lbs off so I am at 19lbs total loss!!!

It has definitely been a rollar coaster ride to say the least but I am so determine to get this weight off!!

I realize that I am more concious of what I am buying/eating, yesterday I went to the grocery store and bought some salad dressing with no sugar this is a plus for me b/c it seems like everything had sugar as an ingredient I am trying to eat as clean as possible. I even tried making my own and well let's just say I am glad I found some in the store.

Also I was in the dessert recipe thread yesterday and that made me want something sweet so I had made up my mind that I was going to whip up some heavy cream and put it on an oopsie roll. I picked up the smallest container of heavy cream and headed to the check out counter.

While standing there I kept thinking that I am setting myself up for a binge b/c I have never been able to only eat a few tablespoons and stop. So I took it out of my cart and put it in the soda cooler thingy at the check out counter, paid for my groceries and walked out of there with a smile on my face and thanking God for giving me the will power to make that concious decision.

I realize that certain foods cause a trigger effect for me and for now I have to stay away from them...... nuts, heavy cream, peanut butter and sugarfree chocolates.

It feels so good to be able to say no and follow the plan, I thought I was doomed to always cheat and fall off and not saying it will never happen but for now I am on a mission and sabotaging myself is not an option!!!
__________________

[meeha]

Wow it's time to blow the dust off of this journal.

Okay first things first I am still on this journey and doing very well, I don't know if I ever mentioned this before but I wsa so disgusted about not losing that I went to my doctor aout a 2 months ago and he took a look at my food journal and suggested I try South Beach since it was so parrallel to what I was eating.

Well I had lost weight before on SB then got pregnant so when I tried it again this time it wasn't working I mean I wasn't losing anything and on top of it all I was binging onthe allowed treats so I went back to my doctor in tears and this time he had me to sit down with a nutritionist we talked ran test (blood sugar, cholesterol etc...) had me to do a questionaire regarding my relationship with food etc...

SO the nutritionist suggested I continue to limit my carbs since I appear to be addicted to them and have issues with portion control. I explained to them how I would binge on the allowed treats on SB and that I felt it was too flexible for me right now.

She read off a list of low carb plans and one of them was Atkins so I laughed b/c I have tried it so many times with not much luck I mean I've lost everytime I tried but never seem to stick with it.

Anyway my doctor was shocked to hear I tried Atkins b/c I never told him and to be honest I always felt Atkins wasn't healthy.

Well my doc said he normally suggests Atkins to his morbidly obese patients with weight related health issues so b/c the weigt comes off faster rather then have them on dangerously low calories.

So we all agreed that I should give Atkins another try and ever since that meeting I have been on point. I think to get the green light and not have to lie to my doctor about how I'm losing the weight just took the pressure off.


Anyway, I lost 5 more pounds this week which brings my grand total since Jan 2nd to 24lbs!!!! I am 16 lbs away from ONEderland and I am beyond elated.

I am at a great place right now everything is clear and it feels wonderful!!

I'm getting lots of compliments as well as little comments like one lady ask me was I sick another one went out of her way to let me know there was rabbit food in the kitchen (veggie tray) as to say that's how I'm losing my weight . Ya know it's to be expected I'm kind of use to the females behaving like that.

[nicsweed]

CONGRAT'S control is bliss once you dont have the food hanging over ur head...u feel free....the olny time I ever felt that way was on ATKINS.

[meeha]

Hey Nicsweed
Thanks for stopping through my journal, please don't be a stranger.

[meeha]

Okay I have been all over the place (other message boards) and it's really hard keeping up with journals.

Anyway I am up 3 lbs!!! I really need to get on the ball, I am 16 lbs away from ONEderland!!! I can't believe so close yet I feel like I am not totally dedicating myself to this WOE.

Today I was looking at dessert recipes and my mind started wondering and I started making a list of what I wanted to get from the store

I love peanut butter cups so I had made up my mind to go fet some natural peanut butter and unsweetened chocolate and make it.

Some time passed and I thought to myself I can't do it!! I know I can't just make it and eat a serving and leave it alone so why sabotage myself?

I am on a MISSION to ONEderland!!!! those peanutbutter cups are gonna have to wait!

I need to get back to working out, it seems if I stop for a few days it throws me off completely!! So starting tomorrow morning it's back to WATP 2 mile and strength training.

I love sweets and one thing I have been making that has been doing it for me lately is cream cheese muffins.

4 oz cream cheese
1 egg
2-3 capfuls of DaVinci's Vanilla syrup

I am not a huge cheesecake fan but this is really light in flavor and is pretty good.

I think I am just going to stick with that for now as far as treats and focus more on my veggies, fat and protein.

ONEderland Here I Come!!!!

[Livywilltim-mom]

Dear Meeha!

Thanks for coming by my journal! It is wonderful to have you back. You will get to ONEderland soon...maybe by May 1st? I am newly encouraged now that you are back...we can do this friend!

Hugs

[nicsweed]

i cant wait to hit the one hundred's...i hate being a 200 pounder!