Mandy's 2008 journey

[PalmTreeGal]

Jaimie, you are so kind. DH is a devout Catholic and so was his dad. Your prayers will mean a great deal to him. As far as food, I am not stressing about it now. The funeral is next weekend and then we will spend a week with MIL. We are taking her to the Cape for a couple days of that and I intend to eat all the seafood, prepared any way I desire, that I can eat! Then we will come home and hopefully life will settle down a bit and I can worry about food.

Kim, I am so sorry about your BIL. That is tragic and an entirely different sort of grieving - not the kind of expected, merciful death my FIL had. My thoughts are with you.

[PalmTreeGal]

So just when things are starting to quiet down . . . Sidney's xrays came back and he has a mass in his lung. Most likely cancer although it would involve cracking his chest (major surgery) to find out. I didn't cry when FIL died but I have been bawling all day today. IF we go with the major invasive surgery AND the caner is localized, 12 months. If not, maybe 6. Assuming this is cancer, which we won't know without putting him through that.

I just feel like giving up. My emotional stability seems to be a losing battle.

[Livywilltim-mom]

Oh Sweet Mandy...

Only words I can offer are prayers. I wish I could do something more

Love you

[PalmTreeGal]

Stuff is better. Sidney is acting totally normal and healthy, and I talked to his old vet in CA. He thinks there's a decent chance it's a granuloma, an inflammatory mass which would NOT be cancer. He suggested an option our vet hadn't mentioned, which is to xray 4 weeks after the last xray and see if the mass is bigger. If it's grown much then that will mean it probably is malignant. But in any case, I'm coping better. Resolving to enjoy every second he has left whether they are many or few.

We're going to Whole Foods to stock up on antioxidants and such (vet in CA is holistic and had many suggestions) so I'll be stocking up on LC stuff and trying, for the bazillionth time, to get on plan and stay there. Monday here I come. The period of frequent travel has hopefully ended with FIL's passing and I hope I can gain some much-needed stability. I have gained back every pound I lost, probably more. I worked so hard for that! This time around my thyroid is treated so I'm hoping it will be an easier battle.

[NewYorkGiants32]

Hi Mandy!

Glad things are going better for you!

I hope you will be able post more often.....If I remember correctly, you lost pretty good the first time around, it will come off again.

[PalmTreeGal]

Yeah - I didn't lose as fast as I wanted, of course, but I did lose until the off-plan days started happening every week.

I'm going to go cold-turkey Induction, which will be tough. Decaf only, three cups of veggies, limiting cream and cheese, the works. I kept trying to "ease" back in to LC by eating nuts for snacks and such, but I think that once I'm thoroughly re-carbified I need that cold-water shock of Induction to get on plan.

Since my thyroid's been medicated I notice less of an appetite, and the overeating and poor choices I make are almost more by habit than hunger or cravings. I usually get REALLY hungry the first week of Induction and am hoping the thyroid meds make that easier.

[PalmTreeGal]

Day 1! I'm not even posting my weight, I'm so ashamed of it. I didn't stick rigidly to Induction (I didn't eat all my veggies) but I didn't eat off plan and it was a good first day.

B/L: 2 eggs scrambled with onions, bacon and cheese
S: Coffee with HC, lots of pork sholder bits
D: Pork shoulder with LC BBQ sauce, creamed spinach

Water: 2L
Exercise: 45 min walk with DH and dogs

I have food organized for the week, including an egg cream ready for breakfast. There has been been research showing that inadequate sleep really wrecks your metabolism, so I'm heading for bed now. In the next few days I'll make sure to stop around my friends' journals since I've been so neglectful.

[Livywilltim-mom]

Oh Mandy!

Congrats on a clean eating day yesterday! You can do this, I can hear the determination in your post.

Praying you have a happy and successful day 2

Hugs

[PalmTreeGal]

Thanks Jaimie! My motivation goes up and down but I haven't been seized by cravings yet.

B: Egg cream (eggs, cocoa, flax borage oil, CO, cream, sweet'n'low, Davinci's, coffee)
L: Tuna salad on romaine, cuke slices dipped in Boursin
D: Lots of pork shoulder (no sauce), spaghetti squash with lemon artichoke pesto, parmesan and olive oil
S: Coffee with cream

Water: 2L
Exercise: 30 min walk with DH and dogs

[Livywilltim-mom]

Oh Mandy!!

You MUST share the spaghetti squash recipe Please, please, please!

I'll bet the lemon artichoke pesto could be used with lots of yummy things...

Hugs

[PalmTreeGal]

Jaimie - The lemon artichoke pesto was from Whole Foods and actually it wasn't very good, that's why I had to put oil and cheese on too! They used to have a really good version at Trader Joe's in CA but I haven't seen it at the TJs near us. I'm going to look for a recipe to make it myself, because it is SO delish on all kinds of veggies. If I find a good recipe I'll pass it on!

[PalmTreeGal]

Still on plan. The strips are dark purple and I'm down about 3 pounds. Just water, of course, but it helps. Yesterday's food:

B: Coffee with cream
L: Romaine, tuna, 1/2 avocado, dressing
D: Pork shoulder with LC BBQ sauce, spag squash with lemon artichoke pesto, butter and parmesan
S: Coffee with cream

I haven't really been tracking carbs. I just don't have the motivation/energy. The counting business wears me down and makes me more likely to quit, I think. If I get motivated again I will do it, but for now I'm just doing two weeks pf following Induction. Except for the salad part, I am already sick of raw veggies!

[Livywilltim-mom]

Goooooooo Mandy!

I love it when the scale drops that much at the beginning...I know it's water, but it still is a great feeling!

Here's to a wonderful on-plan weekend

[PalmTreeGal]

Still on plan. Feeling lousy though.

[PalmTreeGal]

I guess I will start posting my weight again. I really hope this is the LAST time I will struggle to get those numbers down! I started at 181 on Monday. Today was 175.6. Water, mostly.

I feel good today. We went to see Tropical Thunder and it was terrible, but good to get out. And in the ladies' room someone complimented my hair! I got bright blond highlights on top but nowhere else. My goal was a lot of contrast with my dark hair. I'm struggling to style it well and I'm afraid the highlights are a little brassy, but overall I like the effect and it made my day when that girl said my hair was pretty!

Today's food:

B/L: Alliecat's Cheesy Chicken Bacon Cabbage Casserole
S: Decaf with cream, a few bites tuna salad
D: Dana Carpender's Burger Florentine Scramble, salad
S: Coffee with cream, erythritol and 2 TB cocoa

The Dana Carpender recipe was more like a casserole than a scramble. It was REALLY ugly looking, but tasty and extremely rich.

Obviously I'm not sticking PERFECTLY to Induction - I'm eating my veggies but I just can't get down too many of the salad ones. And I haven't gotten all my water every day, sometimes only 1.5L. And I'm not counting carbs. But I'm sticking to the cream and cheese limits, no nuts or frankenfoods, etc. This is what I can do right now, and I'm losing, so I'm just going to keep on doing the best I can.

[NewYorkGiants32]

Hi!
It's funny you talk about hair......I just came from one of those web sites where you can do a virtual hairstyle on an uploaded pic. I want something new, but not sure what.

I cannot believe you lost 6 pounds since Monday..............good for you, how did you do it?!?!?! Water or not, it is a great start!

[PalmTreeGal]

Jen, it's all Induction weight. I was all carbed up from weeks of junk. It all falls off like that in the beginning, but if I were to eat a loaf of bread it would come right back on as my liver replenished the glycogen stores (glycogen holds tons of water). But it does make me feel good!

Let me know what hairstyle you pick out!

[PalmTreeGal]

Still on plan. Weight today: 177. Hate those fluctuations. But the strips are still moderately dark.

Food:

B: Egg cream (coffee, sweet'n'low, Davinci's, CO, flax borage oil, 2 eggs, cream)
L: Tuna salad on romaine with cucumbers and avocado
S: 1 cup canned pumpkin melted with 2 oz cream cheese
D: Alliecat's Cheesy Chicken Bacon Cabbage Casserole

Water: 2L

Exercise: big fat 0! I have lots of time now, I get out of work at 3, and I need to get on the move with this! I keep thinking I am going to try lifting weights - I have the basics at home and it's supposed to reshape you like crazy. But so far I just think about it.

Sidney is doing really, really well. I have been feeding him all manner of fattening, healthy things as recommended by his holistic vet, and he has gained back all the weight he lost and then some! Oops! (We referred to it as "Operation Fat Lab.") He's been eating his regular raw food and raw chicken necks, plus canned salmon, lard, brown rice, whole milk yogurt, acai berry concentrate (for the antioxidants) and digestive enzyme pills in case he needs help digesting all this food. Now it looks like he might have to go on a diet! The weight loss was really the only sign that something was wrong, and his ability to gain weight rapidly is encouraging. His vet in CA thinks the lung mass might NOT be cancer! We are going to xray it in a few weeks and if it has grown a lot, that would mean it is probably malignant. But I am feeling hopeful because he got fat so fast, so the cancer doesn't seem to be stealing all his nutrients.

On a minor note, I burned my hand on the hot crockpot today. It's about an inch long, on back of my hand opposite my thumb. Not major, just 1st degree, but annoying. On the upside DH is doing the dishes since it hurts to get it wet in warm water.

[PalmTreeGal]

Still hanging in. Weight was up today, yuck, 179. I don't recall ODing on salt or anything, guess it's just a normal fluctuation.

I did something I felt bad about today - ate until my stomach was uncomfortably full, because I didn't want to leave any leftovers or throw out food or something. Gotta work on that.

B: Egg cream, same recipe as usual
L: Linda Sue's spinach lasagna, sketti squash with artichoke pesto, butter and parmesan
D: (this is when I overate) Avocado and cheese omelette with sour cream, spaghetti squash with chunks of chicken dolled up with parmesan, butter, olive oil, a splash of cream and a dribble of LC tomato sauce. Waaaay more food than I needed.

And the carbs today were probably quite high with 2 full cups of squash, all the dairy and the tomato sauce. Never mind the sheer calories! Oh well, hopefully I learned something from it.

I made a batch of flax muffins in the oven, which I never tried before. I used the OMM recipe but made them half size and put them in silicon cups. They look cute, hope they taste good. I can split them, toast and butter them and have an easy car breakfast. (I am NOT a morning person and will never have my act together in the AM to make bacon and eggs and sit down to eat it.)

[PalmTreeGal]

Still on plan. Still not major motivated to post menus or daily weights, but no screwups to report so far!

[PalmTreeGal]

175.2 today.

Monday is my end-of-Induction weigh-in, and I may have blown it by eating tons of salt yesterday and today. Yesterday was tons of bacon, today was fried Haloumi cheese, which was not as good as I expected but SO salty.

I also made a mistake today and paid dearly. We went into DC to have a tour of the White House with a friend of DH who is an attorney in the White House. We had to get security clearance and everything! We went out to lunch with the friend and three of his relatives who were also along for the tour.

The menu had plenty of LC options - about four different entree salads with protein that were LC or needed only a small tweak to be made LC. But I was take with the Parmesan-encrusted trout - figured I'd order double green beans and cancel the potatoes and it would all be good. I had a sneaking suspicion that Parmesan wouldn't be the ONLY thing the trout was crusted with, but I didn't want to be nitpicky and ask the waiter in front of all these people I didn't know. I don't like admitting I'm on Atkins or even that I'm trying to lose weight to people I don't know well. I feel like either they will disapprove of LC or they will think "she must not be very successful at weight loss, she's still enormous!" So anyway, I didn't ask, and I ate the trout (didn't even taste the desserts though, and they were decadent and the table ordered several of them).

A few hours later we got in the car to go home, and I was miserably carsick, which mostly happens when I am fiercely hungry or my blood sugar is low. I was really sleepy too. It was a yucky ride. And I know I wouldn't have been so hungry and gotten so sick, or probably been so sleepy, if there hadn't been flour or bread crumbs in that "crust". Man, I should know better than to order without asking about ingredients!

Ah well, learning experience. I ate practically no carbs the rest of the day, so that breading shouldn't push me over the limit. It was awfully tasty.

[PalmTreeGal]

175.8

So Induction loss is 5 pounds. Hoping for a pound a week after this. Man, I hope I can stay on track and that my body cooperates with me after all I've put it through!

I'm done with Induction! I had a PB choc egg cream for breakfast.

I really need to start exercising. I am going to sign up for a yoga class that is 6 weeks long, I think. Maybe if I do SOMETHING I'll be motivated to do more.

[Livywilltim-mom]

Go Mandy, go Mandy!

I'll bet that egg cream tasted luscious after induction!!

Hugs

[NewYorkGiants32]

the peanut butter egg cream? Those are the best!

[PalmTreeGal]

Thanks for stopping by, Jen and Jaimie!

173.6 today. I was surprised, didn't think I'd see loss right after Induction. My goal for the week was to see 175 and here I am below 174, so I guess I'm good and can pig out the rest of the week, right? Not.

Yep, the PB egg cream was pretty good. The mocha one that is Induction safe is okay but not as good, sometimes I have to force it down. I am flirting with the idea of giving up on breakfast for a while. I am never hungry for it and I get hungry at the same time of day - 10:30 - whether I drink a 450-calorie egg cream or not. Actually I haven't had much of an appetite at all any time, I guess this is what ketosis is supposed to do. I don't really like it, I either eat out of habit/pleasure and feel guilty for not eating to hunger, or I worry about not eating and fret about whether and how much I should "force." I'd rather just have an LC appetite, the kind that doesn't rage out of control and is satisfied by healthy fats and veggies. I guess I want the moon!

[Lizbeth927]

Mandy,
Thanks for checking in on my journal! It's nice to "see" you again It sounds as though you had an incredibly hard summer...I'm so sorry for the loss of your FIL and I'll keep my fingers crossed that Sidney's health continues to improve. Also, thanks for the congrats about my engagement! I don't think 121 would EVER be attainable for me, but gosh wouldn't I love to weigh that on my wedding day. The lowest I've ever been in my adult life is 128 and I'm aiming for 125, so we'll see! I think you're right about going back on Induction hard-core. Trying to ease back into LC isn't working for me at all...a handful of grapes today turned into several handfuls of candy corn! Yikes How do you do so well eating LC with your DH around? Do you two just eat different things? My DF thinks that LC is unhealthy and he is an avid calorie counter, so LOTS of things that are allowed on LC he would never touch. But I tried counting calories for months and didn't lose a thing! Anyway, it's good to be back and you can expect to see lots more of me around you journal!
P.S. I'll put a pic of the ring in my journal. He COMPLETELY surprised me and didn't really have a clue as to what style I was looking for but I absolutely love it!